Wayne Gray

He's good to me. ❤️

Thanks, rick. Honestly, I'm fine. I have too many people who care not to be. I just felt like, maybe... this could help someone else. We're all human, and that's okay.

Great quote, @MacGreg. Worth remembering. I hope everybody is doing well today. 🙂

Thanks, Reader. We all need kindness, empathy and understanding. I'm just thankful that I have it.

There are days when you just show up. Days when you do what you must, hating every iota of effort spent, every word spoken, every interaction. Days when all you want to do is hide, but you can't. So you straighten your spine, raise your head, put on the expected show. You - "Fake it till you make it." Sometimes, a smile at a terrible joke from a coworker is so hard, it feels like you'll crack. But you know it's expected... so you do it. When someone asks how you're doing, you have to suppress the flash of irritation you feel, because they don't want to know. Not really. The smile comes again... "Fine." Somehow your voice is steady. You're good at the game. Finally make it through the day... your adulting duties are done. There's a sanctuary in your vehicle. You're alone, and you can't even bear to turn on music. You just need quiet, and to be still. You get home. Your partner isn't there yet, but it shouldn't be long. You go in, slide into your chair and sit. The mind is still swirling with thoughts, and your belly flutters with stress. You frown at yourself, annoyed at your own mind, and your lack of ability to "deal" with what is there. The door rattles. You avoid looking at it. They'll know, and there's no reason to worry them. "Hey!" Happy greeting from the newly opened portal. The door closes, and you glance over your shoulder. "Hey." You try, but the inflection in your voice isn't quite what is expected. A frown from your person. They step into the room, stand beside you sitting in the chair. "What's going on? You okay?" You look up at them, feel something in your chest... the knot there wants to unravel, but that'd mean dragging them into your pain. You force a smile. "Yeah." They cock their head, a little frown. Your heart beats a bit faster - they don't believe you. A gentle hand extends and rubs the back of your neck. "Really?" You swallow. That knot slowly begins to pull apart. "I... nothing's wrong." You slump, and they continue to gently stroke the skin of your neck. "There's no reason to feel this way." Your person is quiet, their fingers pass gently over the nape of your neck. It feels nice. You know they're used to seeing you happy. You're usually the one to brighten things, to make things better. Well, not today. Today you're broken, and you just can't be anything else. "I'm sorry," you murmur, miserable that you'd drag your love down with you. "I'm fine. Just feeling sorry for myself." "Hey." They kneel before you, hands on both sides of your face. There's an understanding smile that grows on those beautiful lips. "It's okay." Those eyes you've admired for so long fill with fondness and concern. "You're allowed to have a bad day." They run those feather light fingers over your face. "So long as I'm allowed to have it with you." ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 I'm a lucky man. Being allowed to break is something valuable - something beyond words. I have that in my husband. It doesn't have to be a partner. It can be a friend, a close coworker, or a family member. It can even be someone you trust over the wires of the internet. But, we all need this. We all need someone we can show our belly to... someone we can be vulnerable with. Someone who will accept us at our worst, and enjoy us at our best. You're allowed to break.

Hi Fae. Yeah. There are these peaks in the waves coming at us, and they crash over. There's nothing we can do about them coming. All we can do is wait them out... wait until the water recedes a bit, snatch a breath when we can, and endure the next one. But all storms end. Knowing that helps.

Hey, Jeffrey. Thanks for commenting. Anxiety and depression are what I had in mind when I wrote it. Lucky are those who don't suffer from these... who have never felt them. I have. I know. I'm lucky, as my trials are very infrequent. I'm thankful in a way... because it allows me empathy for those who truly suffer. Anyone who lives with depression and/or anxiety daily and functions... well, they're stronger than I could ever manage. Of course, there are periodic trials too. All of us have those. The poem works for that, just as well. Maybe even better.

Thanks, Thorn. It's either rhyme, syllable count, or structure for anything I write. I need a guidepost of some sort to keep me on track when I write these. I'm glad you liked the one I picked.

Thanks, Parker. There seems to be a lot of hurt going around. This is how I feel when I'm in the midst of it. We know it passes... but until it does sometimes all we can do is wait.

I watch, aware, knowing. It comes. White-capped, the shadow falls. Arms out. I rage. Louder than all, a roar. The crash, dark roiling wave. Lungs burn. I'm still. Eyes up, waiting - to breathe.

I held off starting this. I knew that as soon as I did, I'd be snagged... and that I'd spend free time consuming it. Well, I've got my nights planned for this week now. It's off to a great start, tim. Thanks for writing this story. I love the style. It's so clean, giving us just enough information without feeling selfish with detail. It's a great balance - one I struggle with myself.

Thanks, Danilo. That's the goal. Creation of characters you will miss, and those you will wonder about. I'm glad they could worm their way into your heart in such a way. It is sad, that Tad left them so soon. But we all will. And he did so in the best way a man can - he left a mark destined to be seen by thousands, and deeply loved by those who remained. Not bad for a skinny, artistic guy. 🙂

Sorry to hear that, Mac.

Thanks, Peterlefun! I know the way they live isn’t for everyone, but I’m glad that didn’t detract from the story. Those relationships were integral to this tale, and to the characters living them. 😊

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and that it grabbed you enough to stick with it. Thank you for for reading, commenting, and rating. It was great hearing from you in the chapters... I appreciate that.

Yes. At some point it becomes impossible to avoid seeing something that big. Because, it really is huge. I wanted it to feel right, unforced. Proximity meant they had a chance to notice the potential in one another, though Markus had already dreamed about what happened between them all. You're right. Nate and Christopher are used to sharing. They knew that they could, and not diminish the love they felt for one another. Tad taught them both that, and it's a lesson they keep, even now. Markus does remind them of Tad in ways. But he's different too, and he makes them feel new things that belong only to him. Nice play on words (blown away), lol. Thanks for reading. I'm glad the three didn't feel forced. The plan, really, was not for Markus to "fill in" for Tad. It was for him to take his place with the men right when they needed it... when they could all accept it.

That's so very true. Thank you for the comment, Tom. And for your great encouragement.

Thank you, MJC. It was a great thing... to be able to share this with people who like it, comment, and react. It makes writing worthwhile.

Thank you, Parker. You read the early version of this. You had great feedback, and like others you were encouraging. I value that quite a bit. I'm glad this story was meaningful to you.

Thank you for encouraging me to let this one loose, Fae. I was afraid of how it'd be received, and you helped convince me to go for it. I appreciate that.

Thank you, Fae. You helped steer me to GA for guidance on D/s, and offered plenty of your own. I’m thankful for that. ❤️

It’s okay to remember, Fae. Peace to you.

Thanks, Jeffrey! I had to take care of Markus. He really went through it, and he put in the work to pull himself out of a terrible place. Yes... the book was the spark. But Markus had to keep the flame lit himself, and he did. As one reader said "...I want Markus to win...". Well, so did I. He earned it. I'm going to put in the work and get Bluegrass Symphony going again. I need to take my time, reread, plot, and outline. But it's coming. After that I'll get Silverwolf done. I'm saving that one... because it's like chocolate cake to me. Delicious... and easily consumed. 😄 Have a wonderful day.

Thanks, Chris. I'm glad you enjoyed the final chapter of the story. He does fit, doesn't he? Sometimes we don't know something is missing until it's not any more - such as it is with Markus, Nate and Christopher.

It is now. Well done, recognizing that change was needed. Maybe you are right where you need to be, exactly as you needed to be there. I'm happy for you both.