I agree, and if there wasn't a homophobic element in society I wouldn't be as upset.
My main problem is that it is quite possible that this THREE YEAR OLD BOY wasn't gay. Was he killed because his dad couldn't stand the idea of an effeminate son, or was he killed because his dad couldn't stand the idea of a gay son? If it is the later, and even if it wasn't in this particular case, then we need to correct the perception that effeminate equals gay. Too often I hear of people equating the two -- and then homophobically putting down the effeminate guys.
I dislike homophobic attitudes as much as anyone else here -- but I think it is even worse when the target of that abuse isn't homosexual in the first place! There are effeminate straight guys out that need help -- are we going to not help them just because they're "collateral damage" in the abuse/violence thrown at the gays? "Sorry, now you know what we go through," doesn't help -- at least not by much.
If it saves even one boy from being abused/bullied/killed, I think it's worthwhile doing. I believe it is easier to educate people that effeminate does not necessarily mean gay than to educate them that being gay is okay. If you like, it's one step along the way. It's not a perfect step, but it's a useful step.