Graeme

If we're using the Wal-Mart store guide to city size, I should point out that Melbourne, where I live, has a population of around 3 million (from memory) and no Wal-Mart stores at all.... Does that mean it's not a city? As a side note, to the best of my knowledge, there are no Wal-Mart stores in Australia at all, which would mean either (1) We have no cities, or (2) we're civilised....

Begin random mutterings... We have cities in Australia that have NO freeways or only one. One could also argue the point about Sydney, since you have to pay to use most of their major arterial roads, and hence they should not be call FREEways. I should also mention that a ham-and-pineapple pizza is a staple on every pizza menu I've seen in this country. It is quite popular and usually goes by the name of a "Hawaiian Pizza". I've had a pizza with a banana on it once, which was interesting. That was more a gourmet item than a staple menu, though. (Full marks for acknowledging that tomatoes are technically a fruit ) I'm sure there are purists that would argue that Bourbon is not a whiskey, but I won't. Those are the purists that don't believe it's a whiskey unless it comes from Scotland (though you can sometimes get them to admit that whiskey is also made in Ireland). End random mutterings...

Ignoring the comments about the international dateline and why I refuse to send CJ his chapters before he posts them.... I liked chapter 21. The opening scene was handled well. I would personally have used something different to what Chris had said, such as, "Sure, but you're first and which of your mates do you want to be the second?" but what he said was effective which is the only important thing. I can appreciate why Steve's dad is taking his wife away for a few days, but a patrol car going past every hour isn't sufficient. You can't tell the difference between a quiet house and one with a dead body (or two) inside. I'm half-expecting that the house will be burgled/trashed -- which won't be spotted by a drive-by. Thanks, CJ!

For me, dialogue has to sound real. That means not only should each speaker have a personality (okay, some people do have personality bypasses, but you know what I mean), but that what is said should sound natural. The way I do it is to imagine I'm the one saying the words. Would I say that if I was the character? Does it sound like something that character would say? Would it feel natural to me if I overheard it in the street?

Happy Birthday! :music: :music: Thanks for all the wonderful stories.

Try Peidmont. I hear the police there are sympathetic, kind and considerate. I'm sure they'll be happy to hide a fugitive goat.

Thanks! It was just that there was talk about a cliffhanger ending, and then a request that our heroes live and ride off into the sunset -- I was just trying to keep everyone happy. Technically -- and I know how much C James likes to be very precise with his words -- Conner is only requesting no more talk of roasting goat flesh. Other cooking methods, such as stewing, baking, frying and grilling, still appear to be acceptable topics of conversation...

Yeah, you're right. That's why I use beta-readers... Are you in position to beta-read "For The Love..." for me? It looks like you'd do a great job.

Happy 18th Birthday! :music: :music: I hope you have a great day, and welcome to the joys of adulthood.... :wacko:

Happy Birthday, Ethan! :music: :music:

Happy Birthday!

Okay, how about this? I turned back to the front. Watching the sheriff and Thaddeus leaning out of the windows of the pursuing vehicle, firing at us was not my idea of fun. "LOOK OUT!" My scream was too late. Steve had been watching the mirror instead of paying attention to where he was driving. Driving into the setting sun to make it difficult for the pursuers to shoot at us was a two-edged idea -- we also had trouble seeing ahead and Steve didn't realise that the bridge was out. We went sailing over edge. I closed my eyes as I reached out to hold Steve's hand. I didn't want things to end this way. The thud and jolt as we came to a halt made my head slam into the dashboard. I looked up to see that we were perched precariously on a small ledge. While I watched, the following cars followed us off the bridge, but they missed the ledge and crashed to the bottom of the gorge below. The following fireball indicated that there would be no survivors. Steve took off his shirt and wiped my nose. "You don't look good with blood running down your face." "I think blood is the least of our problems. How do we get out of this?" Steve shrugged. "We wait to be rescued. Dad knows roughly were we were heading. Just don't move too or the Charger may end up slipping off the ledge." He dropped the shirt and then slipped his hand down to the top of my shorts. "Hey, I though you said we shouldn't move!" He grinned. "Let's live dangerously...."

I don't like it. It has promise, but it's been used before (ie. in Thelma and Louise). How about having the Charger getting caught up in a tree 100 feet below the top? The boys broke their necks when the car suddenly stopped (so that the story ends -- as the main characters are dead), but that way it'll be a real cliffhanger ending.....

Yeah, I agree. It's nice to have a chapter that doesn't end in a cliffhanger. A nice filler chapter. A bit of new information, some setting up for the next phase, and the welcome news that their pictures will be around for eternity. Overall, lots of happy news Thanks, CJ!

Happy 21st Birthday! I wish you all the best for the year ahead -- may it be filled with all your dreams coming true.

With very few exceptions, a story should have an ending. The exception would be the literary equivalent of a soap opera, where the "story" is really a set of inter-related short term stories with the same characters. Most stories on the internet, and none in the print media, fit that category. In my opinion, an author should never have to "know that he's taken a story as far as it can go" because that implies that they don't have any idea how to end it. Otherwise, what could be a great story will eventually either fade into oblivion when the "next chapter" never materialises, or end with a whimper because the author has run out of things to write. Neither of these would do justice to something that the readers have otherwise enjoyed. I'll admit that working out how to end a story is often my biggest challenge. I've had a few short stories that died because I couldn't end them properly. I also stress about how to end my novels, but I now start thinking of that problem before I start writing -- not when I'm halfway through. Just my opinion....

I have a problem with number 5. Given what the rest of the option, how does the start to the option ("he amends") apply? Personally, I think it'll be number 2, though I'm not expecting it to be a fatal shooting.

Happy 28th Birthday, Lugh! Have a great day, and don't forget that you're still allowed to party hard, even at your advanced age (I can say that because I'm even older....)

Most of the time, the title doesn't impact on my selection of a story. If it is print novels, I go by the author and then the blurb on the back. I might try a new author based on the blurb on the back and a quick look at the start, in which case a good title may help me pick it up in the first place. Online, I almost exclusively read by author or recommendation. The title plays very role in what I read. As for my own stories, I'm not that subtle on titles. For a couple of short stories, I've asked for suggestions on titles from my beta-readers because I hated the ones I came up with.

I think I've just worked it out -- Eric is involved with at least TWO groups. There's the one that he's doing the keylogger transfer for, and there's the group that he set up the porn site with. That's why he was able to do both things without someone telling him to stop. I'm not sure which group the good Reverend Thaddeus belongs to, but I'm guessing he's either part of the former, or he's in a THIRD group. The keylogger group is the most likely, as having Eric being involved with three different groups is unlikely, especially at his age. If this is right, then the second group may not be criminal. If Eric lied and told them that Chris and Steve are over 18, then it becomes a legitimate business venture, even if it is one that is morally questionable. The people he is working with may not know that Eric was doing it without permission. As for background, I'm guessing that he made contact with the keylogger group during one of his interactions with juvenile hall.

Is this what I've got to look forward to in a few years time?

Believe me, Kevin, I know what you're going through. I went through it recently when I came out to the best man from my wedding on my recent trip to the USA. That was done over the phone, which wasn't ideal, but it was the closest I was going to get to face-to-face with him in the foreseeable future. You're afraid that it won't go well and someone you've cared about and respect isn't going to respect you back anymore. Well, from what you've said, have faith in your understanding of your cousin. Yes, it might not go well, but that won't be your fault. I can't see how you will ever be in a better position to tell her, so take the opportunity and trust your cousin. Good luck! Graeme

What he said I hope you've had a great day, and have an even better year ahead.

Is this an appropriate time to say that I'm a computer professional, too?

Since I'm coming in late, there's not much more I can say. On the pre-med stuff, Chris would almost certainly have had basic and probably advanced first aid training at some point -- it's the sort of thing some people do. While Steve's dad has probably had the same training, I don't know how often they are required to refresh their qualifications. It IS feasible that Chris would be marginally more knowledgeable on what to do. The computer stuff -- I hadn't thought of a USB extender, but I did realise that the camera's in Chris's apartment weren't simply connected to Eric's computer. Believeability... I'm having trouble reconciling the porn site with the rest of the stuff being revealed. Someone in the criminal organisation that Eric appears to be involved with would NOT want any risk of their tap into the police system being discovered. Running a porn site from the same computer as the keylogger transfer, or even running it by the same person who is doing the go-between for the keylogger stuff... well, it's a risk that someone should have had enough smarts to stop. Now that could be good -- if they are that greedy or willing to take that much of a risk for what is really a small gain (if the camera gear cost thousands as Dex said, then the web site would have to be VERY successful or up for more than a few months to make a decent amount of money), then that's good news for our heroes.