Georgie DHainaut

It was in the year of 1920. A slim boy of about 16 or 17 walked along a long road between the moors, which looked an intense depressing grey due to the weather. A strong wind tormented the countryside and blew the incessant rain in his face, making him soaked to the skin. He was also very hungry and terribly tired. His too long and unkempt dark blond hair hung in sodden strands over his narrow face, covering his at that moment very sad brown eyes, that expressed a complete hopelessness.

Collin MacKay always had been an obstinate and rebellious child. His father, a gamekeeper in the Highlands, was a guarantee for a stern and harsh upbringing, in which the man didn’t shun to use his trouser belt as a means to elaborate on his pedagogical principles and ideas. But with the passing years even he had to admit that nothing came of it and that the boy only grew more and more obstinate and rebellious. The man had no idea why that was. But it seemed the boy was like his grandfather.

My first novel, previously published in Dutch but now translated. It is the story of three gay travellers in Scotland, immediately after the Great War. It is about double discrimination, about flowering and gradually subsiding love, of exploitation of tenants by the local gentry and of over-zealous clerics, but also about the development into adulthood against the background of a slowly changing society.

I'll try to be patient.....which is hard work for me😂

Yeah, more talking but also very, very important talking, because it proves that Alec is finally able to get away from his dark side and look into the future. It confirms my previous diagnosis of borderline, since borderline takes ages to treat. But in Alec's case it appears he's coming out of it much stronger than he got in. So I'm not that worried about his witch mom. Alec is strong enough to handle her and on top of that has two allies: Finn and (I'd never though of that) his old man. How long are you going to keep us waiting for chapter 27?😀

Wow, I just found put that I have a knack for future telling😂 No, serious....they finally did it, no...not the sex, that was one or two chapters back, but REALLY clear the air. Now lets wait and see what Finn is thinking about. This was really a chapter of huge quality!!!!!

This is pretty devious, man, working towards the denouement but extending it indefinitely. But somehow it confirms my guess on what might happen. If Finn picks up the idea. His last sentence was not exactly one of understanding care. Lets see what happens next!!!

Sorry. I'm a bit late. I spent the last 8 days in the Middle Ages, courtesy the national phone company, in other words Internet breakdown😒 Now, for this chapter: I expected fireworks and you have us fireworks. Including Alec's breakdown reaction. But I wonder about the last sentence...which prices is he checking? Plane tickets or real estate? What is he planning? Going back or stay around. In this story one can never know what happens next.... I'll catch up on the rest of the backlog😀

Wow, the author really tightened the thumb screws on all of them...well, apart from Kenji that is. I wonder what kind of relationship that is, that River has with this mysterious guy. And as far as Alec and Finn are concerned? I don't know...I might be wrong....but it seems that Alec is fighting some kind of desperate last struggle to keep away from Finn and get on his his life in WA...regretting that he didn't jump at the chance when it was given to him until his last living day. Get some new Pizza and start on chapter 23 because things are really heating up by now🙂

LOL...River is a very cute walking catastrophy😂. I'd love to meet a guy like that. And he has plotted it very nicely. I'm wondering if he is psychic, having the ability to read Alec's mind through the hotel room walls. Getting curious what is going to happen during this foursome drinking expedition.

Thank you🙂 I consider it a great compliment for someone who is not a native English speaker. OK, I'm fluent in both British (Limey) and US English (Yank) , but it is still not my native tongue. So, I'm pleased with your comment.

Finn didn't dump him...they more or less dumped each other.

I'm not that sure about that point of view. Apart from River (who is pretty occupied with his mysterious Ken) WA only has offered only one night stands and short- or maybe even very short time liaisons. And...let's face it: Alec IS changing!!! Yes, he will have to cope with things from the past, but these things are in his head...so even if he decides to go back to WA he will still take these things with him.

OK, it seems that Alec's (temporary) return to Iowa turns out to have therapeutic significance. At least he has made a quantum leap but funny enough Finn made a quantum crash, which makes him more than the local super boy, in fact it makes him what he is: human! I think the next chapter(s) might turn out surprising as far as Alec's future residence is concerned. I'm not saying both the lovebirds are on one line of thought and feelings yet, but things are certainly progressing in a very unexpected way. Can't wait for next week🙂

I know what you mean!!! Other reasons, other backgrounds...but in the end I have been there as well, on what I always call "The Dark Side of the Moon" (courtesy Pink Floyd🙂)

Hey man...I'm going to take revenge on your comment on "Awoken by the Wolve"😄 First of all Henry. It seems he finally discovered he had a back bone as well. OK, one can doubt his motives, as this sentence makes clear: "“Has it occurred to you that I may want a relationship with my only child? He's all I have, damn it!” But let us give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he finally found a way to resist his Dracula, although a weakened Dracula. Then Alec....I wouldn't call him a poor, dumb angel! There is really something changing...he is really re-discovering his own personality before it was thoroughly crushed by the before-mentioned Creature from Hell (oh well, it looks she is returning to it pretty soon anyway) and carefully he finds ways to integrate this personality in his romantic behavior with the one he always unconditionally loved but didn't dare to because of his sub-zero feeling odf self-esteem and self-image! Small steps only, but steps in the right direction, no matter how you look at it.

LOL....well, it was actually a paraphrase of a Zappa-song😄 Sorry if I revealed the gist of your next story😂 And many many thanks for your compliment, especially when it comes from what I consider a great author himself.

I promised you the very first chapter🙂. But I admit: it was so well written, that it took me to ch.18 to get a full picture. In other words: my comment is just playful (though correct) but it is about the story that is amazingly well written.

Hey guys, I don't want to spoil the moment by getting serious🙂 It took me ages to find out what is wrong with Alec. Initially I settled on PTSD, again…not the fashionable one but the real one. But with the progress of the story I was unable to find that one, sudden terrible trauma that would have caused PTSD. As far as PTSD is concerned Milo would have been a more logical victim. Then I concurred with clinical depression, but the longer I thought about it, the more unsatisfied I became. Because generally speaking depression does not include a number of symptoms, like anxiety, paranoia and especially the inability to start and develop relations. But…there is something that is closely related to PTSD, at least according to psychopathological theories. And then all symptoms fit! Let us start with the symptoms. I think it is fair to say that Alec is a person of strong emotional reactions. He has outbursts of anger and severe anxiety, can feel overly elated and deeply depressed with changes between those poles suddenly and swift. He can have periods of exaggerated idealization of Finn when he was a youngster and at a little lower level as an adult. But he can crash down in sudden despair as far as chances of success are concerned. His emotional reactions are extreme: he is not embarrassed but feels it as humiliation (e.g. the overheard gossip at the party as a youngster, that really crushes him and triggers extreme anxiety and a flee reaction), he is not slightly annoyed but really angry, he is not happy but in extreme joy at stages. Especially when he dreams about Finn as a youngster. I jotted down a sentence from chapter 4, that told me a lot: “I get overwhelmed and then I run. If I can’t run, I get angry. It’s my head. It’s all messed up. That’s not your fault. I should be working on it. When I got dropped into a regular high school, I think it did…damage. I’m nervous all the time.”. When he gets under pressure, no matter what kind of pressure, he becomes a-social and abrasive. If people react in a negative way on his behavior, he sees it as a confirmation “that nobody likes me” and possible feels victimized but certainly depressed by the experience. Secondly: he tugs at his hair and pierced himself as a youngster, probably not very professional and sterile. Meaning he has a tendency to inflicting self-damage. Thirdly: as a youngster he has a distinct lack of identity and an extremely low level of self-esteem and self-awareness. Which is of course quite explainable after his mother has done her best to destruct these values for years. But it makes him vulnerable to an almost destructive extent, even as an adult. Fourth: he distrusts everyone, except River, his rock in stormy waters, even to the extent that one might call him paranoia. He even distrusts the one he loves passionately, but that is the next point. Fifth: he is unable to start and develop an intimate relation. Yes, the whole story makes clear that he was and still is hopelessly in love with Finn but he doesn’t have the courage to actually start it, instead becoming rejective and abrasive out of anxiety, as a youngster but again in a repeated mode during his adulthood, when he returns to town. Besides that: he doesn’t trust Finn on the emotional level. The reason is partly in his low level of self-esteem: how can a gorgeous beauty like Finn fall in love with a worthless piece of shit like himself? The boy must have another reason for that! He wants something he doesn’t want at the same time…or the other way around: he blocks everything he is actually dying for deep inside. He wants the intimacy, but his fear, especially his fear for physical contact, is paralyzing and makes any move from his side impossible. It causes pain and fear and the lack of his idol is compensated for by having sex with multiple partners during his adult life, as the story suggests. But, although not written literally, one can assume always with an unsatisfactory, maybe even disappointing result, which increases his pain and his fear for whatever relation with no matter who, but especially not with Finn, who remains to be his idol! Probably all other lovers have been checked against this very high benchmark and proved unsatisfactory. But even then there is still this flee reaction, even after thoroughly enjoying this one kiss and all the implicit love and affection in chapter 18. Fear blocking positive emotion! And over it all is this feeling of complete and utter emptiness...the disability to see his own identity, as a youngster and an adult. The emptiness is only elongated by his inability to start an intimate relationship, like he was some kind of incomplete person. And that again increases the pain, feeding the disorder another time into perpetual continuation! Childhood trauma can be a cause but environmental factors are suspected to be a cause as well. Well, Alec’s environment during his childhood can certainly be considered a cause, especially the destructive way his ultra-dominant and opinionated mother always attacked, criticized, humiliated and rejected him and a father who was unable to stand up for himself, let alone for his son. Maybe it is fair to say that Alec’s upbringing was one big, ever continuing trauma! It is just a summary of my considerations. Like I said, this disorder has clear similarities with the PTSD (which was my initial idea) but it is even more complicated. I know that the list of symptoms for the disorder I’m aiming at is almost endless, but according to the manuals the presence of 5 symptoms in a patient is enough to make this diagnosis. I will never know if I’m right, unless the author is so kind to confirm it, but based on my reasoning I place my bets on Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope that the author includes that even this can be successfully treated, but it takes lots and lots of time and especially effort. Although…the last chapters show a certain improvement in Alec’s mental condition, so there is a lot of hope for him. Problem is: he doesn’t see it himself. My psychopathological musings (just a personal hobby and very handy for an author when he is looking for mental conflicts) do not make the story less impressive: all symptoms are carefully hidden in situations and can lead to wrong conclusions. The flow is beautiful, the characters exquisitely developed and described. I loved the story up to now and have no reason to doubt that it’s level of impressiveness will continue to the end! Once I see “complete” in the meta-data the author can expect a glowing review of the whole thing! Simply because he earned it.

Hi, Being a dog lover myself: I wouldn't dare to forget Kalliq!!!!! Love Georgie

Just like I said in the intro: the radical change of environment🙂

Hi there, Well, VT (NorthEast Kingdom) and AK are purely by research, looking lots of pics, maps and plenty of imagination. North Norway is another thing: I spent some time there, so I know the feel of the land, incl. its beauty. Love Georgie

Hi there, It was my pleasure writing it. I'm glad you liked both the virtual hike in your mind and the story. Love Georgie D'Hainaut

@VBlew, I like your comment, especially your reference to the Two Spirits Movement. It is not only this movement in USA and Canada, but...if you combine "Awoken by the Wolf" with "The Unwanted" (both being available in one bundle as e-book) you will find the same movement all over the Arctic and Sub_Arctic. That indigenous children were taken away from their parents is nothing new. They did that in Norway up to the 1950s and in Canada, as the mass graves on former Church grounds make perfectly clear. But it is one of the biggest crimes against indigenous people. Love Georgie

@frosenblum, glad you liked the story. I loved the line in which you wrote that you followed Vince's and Cagey's hike on google maps satellite view. Sure hope you liked the trip🙂 As for extending the story: like I wrote before as a reaction on other comments, I decided to to do but at this time I'm too fixated on my new novel to get a clear head to develop the story. So it might take a while.