Me too!
I guess Stef could have said "Oh my God, you raped two people! That's horrible! You suck!" Stef would know that if you do that to an 18 year old guy, you'll send him spiraling into a self-esteem free-fall. If you think about the psychology, that's a really good way to set up a serial rapist, a guy who can't have real sex, only forced sex. In any event, I think Stef did the right thing by trying to help the guy he had in front of him (Gathan).
If you think about it, Stef has never been about judgment. He's doing that here, accepting that what happened, happened, and doing what he can to repair the damage. I'm not saying he handled things perfectly, but I think he did pretty well under the circumstances.
I got some crap about the unprotected sex from my beta team, and I can see that would be out of character, especially for a guy like Stef who lost so many friends to AIDS. I think the only real justification is that he was probably focused on the moment, on helping this f**ked up guy, and just didn't insist. In his mind, he was probably calculating the chances of infection with a guy who had two unprotected incidents. The riskiest, f**king the guy, wasn't all that risky since the guy he f**ked was a virgin as well (one would assume).
The other thing to ponder is that these guys aren't perfect, and they do f**k up. Do all guys have protected sex? Do all gay men adhere to strict age guidelines, as in "I won't sleep with anyone more than 10 years younger than me?" I'm wondering how many 55 year old guys out there would turn down a smokin' hot 18 year old that threw himself at them? Just asking.