Val, I keep getting drawn back to this entry. I think I've read it a half dozen times since 4 AM. This one statement jumps out - "So I'm not happy and you do nothing about it."
Is your boyfriend the reason you're not happy? If so, this is something you have to fix as you have control over your own life. If not, why is it his job to fix it for you?
A large part of your post mimics my life only from the reverse. I'm in the boyfriends shoes. Well... if I were wearing shoe....you get the picture. I live with someone who is never happy and thinks it's my job to fix this for him. I tried, I really did. I spent a lot of time on this. So much, that by the time I realized he was just basically an unhappy person and nothing I did or said was going to change that, I had invested 15 years into the relationship and had two small kids. I realized that by trying to keep him happy, I was making myself miserible. So I stopped worrying about it. Everyone should be responsible for their own happy. The other people in your life can enhance that but they shouldn't be the sole provider.
Just a point of view from the flip side of the coin. I don't really expect any answers to the questions because that's personal.
Sharon