Verm

I agree, the story is a great segment in the whole "Book of Heroes" saga. The party has been established, and their bond getting stronger. I'm really excited to read the next arc of the story!

After reading this, I found myself going mad. However, it's not the story that's driving me crazy. The story immediately reminded me of a music video I once saw somewhere on the net by someone, where there were two boys fighting in the rain, but they were implied to be in love or something. I can't remember. God, this is driving me nuts! I'm going to lose sleep trying to remember this. F. Anyway, there were some really great images in your story. I could picture a music video made from this story myself.

Buckley gets the throphy, KD Lang the runner up. Kurt Nilson & gang comes 3rd (I think he's Norwegian though, not sure). Damien Rice's cover of Buckley's cover is pretty nice as well, I like his voice. Alexandra Burke also does a great rendition. I...dislike Rufus's cover. *ducks the flying objects thrown* There are also a slew of bedroom singers on youtube that covered this song. Here's some that I like:

Is the cleric James from "The Paladin" the same person in "In the Prince's Secret Service"?

It's a nice story, but I hope you can get get someone to check the story for you. There's a lot of unnecessary uppercase letters, and some sentences were missing punctuation marks

Still, it makes a difference

I like this chapter, I'm excited things are picking up again! Reading James squirming was cute, he's a bit too serious in "Knight Templar" and "Secret Service".

Thanks kjames! I'm glad you're interested in the story Yeah, I do need to review all those grammar and writing topics again (so I won't give David more headaches than the usual). There's so many things to learn, and re-learn.

The prologue and first chapter of Vermillion Sun is up in e-Fiction. This is my very first attempt at writing a fantasy story. I haven't written anything for about a decade, so pardon the rusty techniques. Comments and critiques are very welcomed. Here's the summary of the story: History is repeating itself. The world is spiralling down, heading towards another destruction. Will the "Bloody Scar" happen again? Who is responsible for this coming catastrophe? Where are the heroes the stories had told of? Who will be able save the world from it's end? Follow the tale of a young, mysterious thief, and his gathering of companions in a fantasy tale of swords and magic, seeking the answers of the world... Shout out to my editor David Mcleod! English isn't my first language, and his help has been a godsend. Enjoy!

Graeme nailed it perfectly. I live in a totally different culture compared to most of the authors on GA or other sites, and the only problem I continue to have probably is a familiarity with the location of the story. Unless, of course, if it's set in a fantasy world as Graeme had pointed out. Although English isn't my first language, I don't usually have any difficulties with slangs or dialects if any were used. Most authors opt not to, in favor for a larger audience, but a few do. Sometimes I would miss out a bit on a certain character's personality if I weren't informed beforehand, for example; a person from area X speaks or writes in a certain way, but only people from country Y recognizes it. It's a minor problem though.

My thoughts exactly. JD summed it up real nice.

This little bugger: Mine is a red Perodua Kelisa. I've had it for nearly 9 years, I'm very attached to it Cheap compact cars are fun to drive but I'd probably be squashed like a bug if I had an accident. But compact cars are easy to drive in Kuala Lumpur, the roads are usually congested and having a small car makes it easier to maneuver around others and the car's handling is really good.

Happy belated birthday David!

I've told David how I write in one of our emails, and he mentioned this thread. I think I might as well share my writing process and elaborate it a bit. I'm mostly an illustrator, but sometimes I write as well. I have used this method to write since high school, and having a degree in Film & Animation has made it better. Usually when I get an idea, or a premise of a story, I'll play it in my mind like an internal movie (thus causing me to zone out for an hour or so). I see the start, the middle, and the ending. I sorta have like a photographic memory, and I guess I have good visualization as well, and both traits help with my method. When I finish my mental movie, I rewind it and freeze it at a certain scene or picture, and I will start writing. I would describe all the details in that picture, and try to convey the mood of the picture into words. Then I'd play the mental movie in slow motion, and write along as it plays out, pausing again when necessary, rinse and repeat until the end. I'm more comfortable doing it this way. I've pointed out before that I'm an illustrator and I am also a comic artist. While I was doing my degree, I was made aware of concept boards and storyboards. Having that knowledge helps with freeze framing the movies in my head. I usually can simultaneously map out the whole story in still pictures, and put them side by side from start to end, and write at the same time. I use these mental pictures as my guide and outline of the story. When I get stuck, I'd draw a concept board for the whole scene or part of it. This helps me in various ways, for instance if I want to stay in a certain mood like anger, I'd draw a very angsty picture complete with colors and all. I would look back at that picture and sustain my writing to suit that particular emotion if it occurs. It's probably a weird way to write, but that's how I do it. Sometimes it gets messy, like certain parts are all over the place when I start describing the pictures. This happens because after I describe a few parts, I would see a certain detail that I might have missed. The other difficulty would be that these mental images aren't usually static. They're like living images, sometimes things would pop out when it wasn't there before. I came to the conclusion that this happens because I would subconsciously try to improve on the image itself, while I am still writing alongside it. One other factor is that some of these images would change according to my own experience, and any new experience that I physically SEE might change them. In a nutshell, I write from my mental images. Thanks?

Just a thought. I personally find that this story has that "realism" feel to it, even with the story being set in a fantasy world after a few chapters. "BoH:GoS" and "The Translator" both use the same situation for the main character, that being transported from our world and thrust forward into a new one. But somehow Jon and Tyler are different. Perhaps it's the way they were brought that makes it feel different; George willingly traveled over; Philip - while also willing - takes a more protagonist role rather than George's more submissive one; Jon and Tyler meanwhile were forced into it. There's also the probability of because there are two of them. They can discuss the difference from our world to the new one between themselves at the time they are also learning about the world. I think this point of view helps the readers to comfortably keep an anchor to our world while we explore the new world together with Jon and Tyler. It makes the story easy to relate to. What say you?

I don't think anyone's here where I'm from...

Interesting chapter, the plot thickens. Weird names the other Stoltz family have, are they nicknames?

The ending of chapter 3 made me all choked up again. Just when I thought the emotions were finally getting better, you pulled it off again. You're evil, but I like it.

That sounds like a title for a kinky coming out story, David!

Well I think the best thing to do is be involved from the background. This way you can avoid a direct confrontation with him. Monitor his physical and mental health. Only stage an intervention if you think things are getting too far. Tell someone else who cares about him as much as you do, or his neighbors so that people are aware of his situation if you can't be there at the time he needs you (whether he says he wants to or not). You still has to respect his decision and privacy though, so it's a delicate line to balance. You can still be there for him. If it were me in your shoes, I'd say something like, "Fine, this is your decision and I respect that, but if shit hits the fan I'm calling the authorities. It doesn't matter if you'd hate me for the rest of your life, as long as you won't suffer permanent physical or mental damage I can live with knowing that you're at least out of that kind of relationship." But that's just my last resort. I have pulled that off on one of my friends about 10 years ago, he and I didn't speak for 4 years. He came around, and we rebuilt our friendship until today. Truth hurts, but sometimes people need reality checks. You don't have to be a bitch about it (like I usually do), but you have to be firm with him if it's starting to get out of hand.

That was the funniest thing I've read in the new year. Awesome.

A very good ending to a very good story. I'm masculine enough to admit I almost cried.

I think this chapter explains a lot of the things in the World for readers to familiarize with. That's good to know, it clears up some stuff that I might have taken for granted with the other stories.

lol no worries, apparently I like it when authors toy with my emotions. *points accusingly at Libby Drew, Duncan Ryder and a few others who shall be unnamed (for now)* I'm such a glutton for emotional punishment. Must be closet masochism inside. I hope things work out for Joshie though. Which is weird coming from me, as I almost never wish a fictional character well. Damn, you're good.

After going through Luc's mind, I found myself falling in love with Scott as well. I felt so in tune with the buildup to meeting Scott again. From reading both EW and HTLGI, I swear if I ever find a lover, I would compare him to Scott.