methodwriter85

It was meant as a term of endearment as well.

I just had a conversation where someone told me that it was demeaning to refer to my friend Steve as my "stoner" buddy, rather than my best friend or some such thing. He thought I was trying to sound cool by inserting the stoner buddy bit, and in doing so, both demeaned myfriendship to my friend Steve and offended his own sensibilities. What I'm wondering is...do you think the person has a good point? Is it demeaning to do that? I suppose that in a way, it's taking a single characteristic of a friend and "defining" them as such. I can see how by doing that, you're showing that it's the ONLY way you think ofthem as that, and that's all that they mean to you. But it really wasn't intended as such. You see, I have had a lot offriends named Steve, and I guess because of that fact, it made it easier to refer to them in different ways- "Hipster Steve", "Steve Who LooksLike Actor Steve Zahn", "Frat Steve", and "Stoner Steve". I never really had a second thought about doing that- I mean friends usually fufill different sides and different wants/needs, and when you've got multiples of friends with the same name, I thought it was okay to latch on to onedefining characteristic so when you talk about your good buddy Steve,people know which one you're talking about. But maybe there is something wrong with that. In any event, I'lltalk to my friend Steve tommorrow and ask him what he thinks about it. It's just...I dunno- it seems like all of my friends do this...they have friends they refer to as their stoner buddy, or their cuddle buddy, or their fun buddy...and...I don't really see what the problem is. Does coming up with an single adjective for your friend and referring to them as such show a lack of caring for your friendship? I'm interested in seeing if anyone has any thoughts on this.

Chapter 24 -When the family all arrives at Escorial for the "Showdown" dinner. "Wilkomen" from Cabaret -When Brad goes head-to-toe with JP. "Sit Down, John" from 1776 -When Stefan talks to Matt about how Brad has asserted his equal footing with JP in their family. "Tommorrow Belongs to Me" (reprise) from Cabaret -When Matt is nervous around Danfield, and realizes that he has a crush on him as he watches Danfield sleep. "Just My Imagination" by the Temptations I know this is an oldie, even for 1998, but I'm the one doing the suggestions. LOL. -When JP and Matt talk about Brian and other things at the Cliff House. "Good Intentions" by Toad the Wet Sprockett http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQsfm-rFbmU

Chapter 23 -When Cody and Matt have dinner, and talk. "Sixth Avenue Heartache" by The Wallflowers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdQyougLaSY -When Matt and Brian have hate sex. "Abuse Me" by Silverchair -When Cody takes Matt to one of Jackie's Hollywood parties, and then hooks up with him afterwards. "The Beautiful People" by Marylin Manson -When Brad and Brian go head to toe, and Brad shows his inner bitch. "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M60cl7bKCMw

Chapter 22 -For Matt Shepherd's funeral, and when Matt meets Judy Shepherd. "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan -When Matt faces down the Reverend Phelps crowd not by his fists, but by kissing his grandfather Stefan on the lips. "CU When You Get There" by Coolio -When Matt gets down to L.A., and hooks up with Cody for some sex to try and make himself feel better. "If It Makes You Happy" by Sheryl Crow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA-PcyACc40 -When Matt dashes between the L.A. skating rink to cheer on JJ and flirt with Tiffany, and his own skating rink in Paly to make his hockey game. "C'mon Ride It" by Jay Ski

Yes, dear? Oh, yeah. Mark M, I get what your saying, and I'm aware of Selena as well, but to be honest, I couldn't find a place for her two songs. "Dreaming" and "I want to Be With You" are great songs and I like them, but I didn't feel like they fit into what was going on in "If It Fits". Also, Selena is not the first singer/celebrity to be assssinated. That would have been John Lennon in 1980. Which was actually included in Be Rad. Brad wasn't a big fan of John Lennon, but Ace and JP were. There was also Marvin Gaye, who was killed in 1983 by his own father.

Katherine Hepburn is a good example of it.

This chapter will be different in the sense that there's only one recomendation.Chapter 21 -When Matt deals with the murder of Matthew Shepherd. "Canon in D"

I agree about Archerland. It looks like it's going into "Defunct" status, though. It hasn't been updated since like 2007.

Well, to defend myself a little, I wanted to use a gangsta song for what goes down between Matt and Gilchrist at the party. Because if there's one thing I remember from my sister, it's that suburban white kids LOVED listening to gangsta rap at parties. (Still do, but yeah.) I agree that it's probably out there. If anyone has a replacement choice, let me know. LOL.

Chapter 20 -When Matt introduces Cody to his teammates as his boyfriend. "Boys and Girls" by Blur http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXKzscs_Xpk -When Matt catches Cody having sex with Brian, and then talks to Brad about how he feels, before going over to Danfield to clear his mind. "Pure" by Lighting Seeds -When Matt edges on Gilchrist, before they wind up fighting. "Thug Luv" by Bone Thugs N Harmony -When Matt breaks up with Cody on the phone. "Never Is A Promise" by Fiona Apple http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0FbIDuugLY

Chapter 19 -When Matt and Cole wake up together, happy to be friends again. With benefits. "Stay" (Wasting Time) by Dave Matthews Band http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB4dCspAvJI -When Matt and JP Crampton have lunch together, and JP tells him about his own ordeals with love back in the 1960's. "Love is All Around" by The Troggs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EXRPxC-5bE -When Matt and the rest of the Stanford 1998-1999 Hockey team are introduced in their season opener. "Song 2" by Blur -For the party at Escorial, when Cody and Matt get down, and then get caught by Matt's teammates. "Everybody" by the Backstreet Boys

Thanks.

*shrugs* I guess I'm just saying that Cody pretty much is old enough to settle down, while I don't think Matt is.

Matt is eighteen. He doesn't really need or expect a "forever guy" just yet. Cody's 26. In Gay World, his time is ticking down. It seems like Logan's Run or something in the Gay World. So he's prolly gotta settle down before he's too old. *Note- I am not saying 30 is too old to be hot. I am saying, however, that in Gay World standards, it is.

Chapter 18 -When Cole gets reamed on the phone by his mother, and Matt comforts him, on several levels. "Perfect" by Alanis Morissette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyplMm8U-Nw -When Cole gives Matt major cold shoulder, and Matt confronts him on it. "Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stuyVj8IOPg -When Cole and Matt make up while having a threesome with Amber. "Sweet Surrender" by Sarah McLachlan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ldELCS6p1w

I thought you guys would enjoy this slideshow I found online of Evan Wadle(sometimes called Wade), who is the physical model of Matt Carrswold. I don't normally go for blond beefcake, but this is a definite exception. LOL.

Mark, your paternal concern for me is overwhelming. I realized that the reason why the bill was so high was because I was using the 'net on the phone. Apparently you have to pay for that. Damn.

I just discovered that I racked up a $953 phone bill. My mother is, of course, pissed, and I feel pretty guilty. When I was 16, I used to have scorn for the people who lived their lives on their cell phone. Now I'm like, one of them. So weird. I never thought it would happen to me. This is what happens when you make your social life revolve around your phone.

Chapter 17 -When Matt has to deal with the stress and tension of his homophobic parents coming to visit his new, happy family with lots of gays. "Real World" by Matchbox Twenty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trt3WRBHl9M -When Brian and Matt try to come to some understanding about Cody. Which includes sex. "Push" by Matchbox Twenty -When JP gives a toast welcoming the Carrswolds into their family, and Matt finally gets to go back home to his dorms and enjoy his friendship with his buddy, Cole. "Thank U" by Alanis Morissette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXZj4O5T25I

If I know JJ like I know myself, I bet at 23 he's STILL not an adult, and currently enjoying his 5th year of college. LOL. Brad doesn't have the leadership mantle yet...it's coming, but not just yet. That's still JP.

Chapter 16 -When Stefan and Matt invest in some new internet search engine, "Google". "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q936lXxQPTA -When Matt talks to his roomate, Cole, about why he's so quiet, and gets to know him. "Building A Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4s8kk2ns3k -Party time at Escorial, which includes the middle-aged Brad and Ace learning how to play Beer Pong, and Matt hooking up with Konrad. "1979" by The Smashing Pumpkins -When Matt and Cole move into their new dorm, and Matt tries to encourage Cole to approach girls in the caf. "A New Hope" by Blink 182

Quinn was an awesome character. Happy 2-6.

Chapter 15 -When Matt and Cole catch Konrad having sex with Brian. "Ready or Not" by The Fugees http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUrJdf4PbEk -When Matt and Cody talk on the phone about all the drama that Brian is causing. "Standing Outside A Broken Phonebooth With Money In My Hand" by Primitive Radio Gods -When Matt pounds on Brian before getting pulled off of him. "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgGA-hHWxtA -When Stefan tells Matt about Billy, and what happened between him and Brad back in 1980. "Farther Down" by Matthew Sweet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEx-dU1Bnt4

You meet someone and you're awestruck by them. Here's how I think it can go- the first is that you meet the person, and you think they "hang the moon", to use one of Adam's phrases. You're blinded to their faults in that initial rush of attraction, but as you get to know them, you realize that something's off, and they're not as perfect for you as you thought they were. It could turn out they're downright horrible people with an initial charm (aka Neal in ISWB), or it could just turn out they are just not-so-good guys who's faults outweigh their positives, and thus aren't good for you, aka Kevin for John in Frat Memoirs. The second way it can go is that you meet the person, you like them alot, and you get on really good with each other. The initial attraction works well- and you find many good qualities about the person that keeps you into it. But then that spark fades- and you realize you've made a really good friend, but not a lover, aka Bryan in It Started with Brian. Then the third one- everything aligns right...you click with that person on a deep level, and you're aware of their faults but love them anyway- and you feel a passion for them...then that is the sort of real, deep love that can happen from an intitial infatuated attraction, aka Alex and Zach. There's this tv sitcom, How I Met Your Mother, that details the courting game that we all go through during our 20's(although now Ted's in his early 30's). There was this great episode where the protagonist realizes that he dated this one girl on a blind date seven years ago, and they spend the night recreating their past date to figure out why they didn't work out. They have a lot of fun, and think, "Wow, we should've just gotten together then...would have saved us all this dating." But then they realize that while they like each other a lot- it just wouldn't have worked...because she's a cat lover who loves to talk about her cats, and he's a resturant snob who loves to make fun of the menus. And it's those flaws they each admit to possessing- it's those flaws that they want their future partner in life not to just tolerate, but to actually...like. And find endearing. That's something I want for myself. I want a guy who will actually like the random and crazy stuff that I always say- not just roll his eyes and go, "Oh, god, Jeremy's talking about the Eighties again!", but go, "Aww, Jeremy and his crazy fetish for the 80's. How cute." I want a guy who will like me the way I am, and not expect me to change or be "better" for him. To me, and what seemed to be the point of this episode- is that so many people in an effort to "hook" someone censor the less-desirable and somewhat annoying quirks they have wind up in relationships that are wrong for them, because their partner doesn't really know all of them because they hide part of themselves to look more attractive. To be able to love someone- ALL of that someone, flaws and all- is an element of real love, and what separates it from initial infatuation. Because when you're infatuated, as Jack is saying, you're sorta blind to the flaws the other person possesses. But that infatuation can give way and grow into love when you get to know the person, get to know their qualities as well as their flaws...and basically be able to go, "So what? You're still my guy." But that will never happen if you just sit around and pine for the guy from afar, and have him on this pedestal. I've had a lot of crushes in my life, and unfortunately, none of them have turned into a boyfriend for me. I remain hopeful, though. And I've made some good friends along the way as well. I feel like as I keep sight of what I want and need in a relationship...then...when it does happen, I'll be ready and won't screw it up.