methodwriter85

Chapter 1 -When JJ expositions his crush on Alex. "Crush" by Mandy Moore Honestly, this type of stuff feels so much more appropriate for JJ than it ever did for Will, save for Will's first story. It's kind of nice to do music recs for someone who's 16 going on 17, as opposed to 14 going on 21. Chapter 2 -When Brad feels a spark with Cam. "At First Sight" by Kylie Minogue I've loving that we've got the Kylie Minogue revival going on at this point. Aside from 8 Mile-era Eminem and Linkin Park, she was probably one of favorite bright spots in this year, which is admittedly not a favorite music year of mine. I was SO sick of J.Lo by this point in time. Sorry this took so long...but in all honestly, if you guys have read my blog, there's been WAY too much emotional turmoil I've been going through and trying to work through so eh.

Yeah. That entire night and the next day, I kept thinking, "This can't be happening. It really can't be. This feels like some indie drama coming-of-age story about a young man who learns hard lessons about life, love, regrets, and death over one 24-hour period of his life." It was. I think when I'm 58, I'll still vividly remember this weekend. And yeah, I spent a lot of time thinking this weekend about what had been, what's happening, and what is still possible for me. There are a lot of regrets on my mind right now, but also a lot of really good memories, and still some good hope. The biggest thing I got out of this weekend...hell, out of the past couple weeks...that just because I'm pushing 30 doesn't mean I don't still have a hell of a lot of growing up left to do. The embarrassment of losing my internship absolutely paled in comparison when it came to having to wait in a parking lot for Tim's parents to pick us up. I felt like such a kid at that moment.

Damn. Just damn. Robin Williams Passes Away I grew up loving his 90's kid movies like Hook, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Jumanji. He'll definitely be missed, R.I.P.

Lisa, I really can't get too much into details about Tim. As for Steve, he died of a heroin overdose back in November.

Thanks. The last couple weeks of my life have been one major emotional roller-coaster- losing my internship, watching my sister have a baby and thinking about the fact that Steve's never going to get to experience having kids or being married, getting ready for Steve's memorial, and then watching the "unfortunate set of circumstances that detained my friend Tim", and then actually going to Steve's memorial. I can't help but laugh about it, though. I thought to myself, "This could make a good indie film short about an emotional young man dealing with a career setback who visits his old college friends for the purpose of going to a memorial, goes out for a few drinks with them, gets pulled over by cops, sees one friend get arrested, gets hits with major detours, and then misses the service but not the reception. Then gets driven back home by some mutual friend and her Trinidad mother, who sympathetically listened to all the crazy emotional turmoil he's been through the past few weeks." I mean really, you just can't make this shit up. It was one of the most bizarre and surreal 24 hours I've ever experienced in my life. I cannot even describe what it was like to be 28-years old and have to wait in the parking lot for Tim's parents to pick us up, sit silently in the back of their car while they ranted at raved at one of the cops, then rant in the car while driving us back, and then sleep (or try to) in the basement of their house while their own son was locked up. Tim's problems made my own seem pathetically small in comparison. I faced the prospect of losing an unpaid internship at a small state parks division and no longer being able to get hired there. He's facing the very distinct possibility of having a felony conviction, which will wreck his life completely. It's amazing how things can happen that put things into perspective really quick

So, I took the Greyhound up to New York City on Friday, with the plan that I'd stay with a college friend that lived in Long Island. Another friend was coming, and we'd all go down to Steve's memorial the next morning. Well, that was the plan, anyway. The Greyhound was over an hour and half late- the New York City Tunnels are an absolute nightmare of traffic, though it was cool to see the New York City skyline complete with the new World Trade Center. The one and only time I had set foot in New York City was twelve years ago, and the skyline looked pretty different from what I remembered. Lots of new buildings seem to have sprouted up. I walked around Times Square/Broadway, which was just as chaotic and noisy and wonderful as I remember it being. After that, I took the Long Island Railroad (known as the Lirr) to my friend Tim's place. Our friend Brett, who comes from Rhode Island, had come down and was already at Tim's house. The evening started out pleasantly enough, with us just catching up on our lives. Brett had gone back to school for video game design, while Tim was teaching English at a charter school in the City. Tim's band was playing a gig at some dive bar, and it was an alright time. I was pissed off about paying 5 bucks for a freakin' Pabst, but otherwise I had a lot of fun. His band was good, some of the other bands were pretty good, and it felt like a nice callback to college when I had friends who were playing in local bands. There was one particular moment where I rocked out to this cover of "Dreams" by the Cranberries which was fun as hell. And Brett and I had a pretty good conversation revolving around the grief thing, which I really needed because I really, really needed to be physically around people who knew and care about Steve. That's been the one big thing I've been missing in processing this. We left and then hit a really unfortunate sidetrack. Not to go too much into details, but on our way back to Tim's place, Tim made a few wacky moves that got the attention of the cops. We were pulled over, the cop immediately accused Tim of being high as a kite, and then they found a stash in the car. There are a few more details there, but I can't really say much except that he's facing some very serious charges that could get him jail time. (I'm also extremely glad that I don't touch that stuff.) He got arrested, his car got impounded, and we had to sit out in the parking lot next to a Wendy's to wait for Tim's parents to pick us up. I have never experienced watching a friend get busted like that. It was the most bizarre feeling to deal with seeing a friend's entire life getting wrecked while knowing that we were also going to mourn a lost friend the next day. The ride back was extremely awkward, to say the least. Tim's father was angry as fuck- although he calmed down towards me because I was honest in telling him that I did not partake in anything that night. We literally had to sleep in the basement of Tim's parent's house while Tim was spending the night in jail. Tim's mother was very upset, and when I offered her a hug she pretty just sobbed for a little bit in my arms. It really made me think about what it would be like as a parent to see your kid make such a massive fuck-up...I just felt so bad for Tim, who is in serious danger of losing his teaching license, and his mother, who has to watch her son hit rock bottom. It REALLY put things in perspective, because I've been whining about my failed non-paid internship and the fact that I won't ever get a chance to work with that state agency again, and now I'm seeing a friend who is facing very serious charges that could basically render his teacher's training useless. Needless to say, we didn't sleep, and the next morning we had the awkwardness of talking to Tim's brother, who was understandably upset as hell. I was anxious to get the hell out of there, so we started our way towards New Jersey. Unfortunately, we were hit with traffic from hell in trying to get onto the Lincoln Tunnel, and it delayed us enough that we basically missed the actual memorial service. We literally got in there as someone was saying, "Now this concludes the memorial service." I watched from the door, and as they filed out, I looked for Ethan, who I wrote about in a previous blog that was Steve's resident at their dorm. When I saw him, I gave him a big hug and I knew I was close to losing it. Then Steve's girlfriend came up to me and told me that it was great to finally meet me, because Steve had talked so much about me and how much my friendship meant to him. I was then a blubbering mess for a couple seconds, and I managed to croak out, "It meant a lot to me, too." Steve's girlfriend and Ethan comforted me for those few moments, and I cannot tell you how much that meant to me, and how much I had been screaming out for a chance to mourn with people who loved him as well. Then at the lunch reception, I met Steve's parents. I met his mother first, who thanked me for sending out the card that I did back in December, and then she mentioned how much Steve would talk about me. I got the same general reception from Steve's father, who also mentioned that Steve did mention me a lot. When that happened, I felt like it was confirmation about how much Steve really cared for me as a friend, and as someone who has often been made to feel like he has to apologize for his existence, that was everything to know I really did have that. It was the reason why I knew there wasn't a chance in hell that I'd miss this, and even though I missed the actual ceremony, being able to meet with and talk to the people who also loved Steve was everything. One really cool thing was that I learned that someone had printed out the Facebook cell photo I had taken of Steve, enlarged it, and framed it...his parents loved the photo, which made me glad. I also talked with Steve's brother, which was also hard, because his brother looked a lot like Steve and I couldn't help but see Steve. But it was great telling him funny stories about my days on the U.D. campus with Steve. Aside from his family, I talked with his friends from high school as well as his Residence Life comrades, which was great- mixed with the tears there were also a lot of laughs and remembering of the good memories we had of him. After that, I managed to snag a ride from someone going down to D.C. (The original plan was that Tim would drive me back to Manhattan in time for my 8 p.m. bus departure and well you know how that went.) On the ride back, I looked up at the sky. It was beautiful out, big and blue with perfect fluffy clouds. I pictured Steve looking at me, smirking a little. I felt a massive sense of peace. Despite all the crap I had to go through in order to get there, I finally got to say my proper good-bye.

Tomorrow I'm getting ready to take a bus into New York City, spend an overnight at a college's friend's house, and then spend Saturday at my friend's memorial. So...here are songs I'm listening to. The Grief Playlist- Steve Edition 1. 2. " 3. "Boys of Summer" by the Ataris (Instrumental) 4. " 5. 6. 7. "Fields of Gold" by Sting 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. "Make You Feel My Love" from Glee 13.

Yeah, I meant Cam. Oops.

I honestly thought Cia has been your only boyfriend. Interesting.

I honestly can't see JJ giving a shit about graduating with a bunch of people he didn't even really go to school with. He really doesn't seem all that concerned with hitting the typical teenage rites of passages. Probably because he doesn't want to be a typical teenager in any way, shape, or form.

Flux definitely felt like it went a lot faster, which makes sense as this was the much shorter story than 9/11.

I like that JJ and Zach have being highly driven athletes in common...that should allow for a shared thread in their stories.

It's a contrast to Jack Hobart, who is a more frequent supporting character because he's interesting on his own, he can serve a purpose as a doctor, and because everybody pretty much likes him and his kids are close to Will.

Yeah. Unfortunately the guys haven't really had great spoof videos after that, and they're more about just small comedy vignettes now. To be fair to them, they're not college kids anymore and they probably have to deal with real world stuff now and don't have the time to put into that. Ace is a straight guy with a daughter that's too young to hang out with the Current Core CAP Teen Group.

I think the only thing I can say I was right about was JJ being the longest-lived Schluter/Crampton without having ever smoked pot. He really is the odd man out with his family. LOL. Of course, it makes sense- JJ does not strike me as someone who wants to take the edge off, and he's under constant surveillance by his buddies at the USFSA. Also about Jeanine going back to NJ, but not for the same reason. One thing I'll miss about Robbie being around was all the plots about all the famous movie stars they kept meeting because of him. I would've loved for Robbie to have invested in Twilight for all the LOL's: And years and years of spoofs were born: "So now he wants to kill me?" "No, he wants my candy bar!" LOL. It almost makes me wish I had bothered with the last three films so I would've gotten the parodies on those. I mean, I love the Hunger Games, but that series is just too good to make really good, mocking spoofs of.

I don't know if you've ever read Cross-Currents, but there's a chapter where a guy comes out as gay on the bisexual protagonist's soccer team, and I thought this quote was apropos: In any event, I wish Zach the best of luck because he's really going to need it. I'm going to admit, I kind of wanted Matt and Wade to take a few years off and then get back together, and co-parent responsibly. But they are a pretty good couple and I like that they're kind of taking on the torch of the newer generation's stable couple that forms the central family for the next generation. I'm positive that Matt, Wade, and Tiffany won't fuck it up nearly as badly as Robbie, Brad, and Jeanine did.

Chapter 45 -As we close out on Flux, and Matt is content in his life with Wade by his side. "Spin" by Lifehouse

I mean, think about it- you're young, you're hot, and you're someone that women are throwing themselves at. Unless you have a girlfriend/wife, it really doesn't make sense why you wouldn't take advantage of that. That's why Mark Arbour has refused to believe Tim Tebow's "I'm a virgin" deal is real. I believe Tim Tebow is a virgin- with women, in any event. Seriously though, all those "wait 'til marriage types" like Mormons are usually married by their early 20's.

Chapter 44 -When Matt auditions for the hockey team and gets into a fight to prove his street cred. "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy -When Matt decides what he finds to be really important. "My List" by Toby Keith

Yeah. Honestly, the name makes me cringe for some reason, and it's incredibly dated for a reason. Here's a Top 100 List of Popular Baby Names from 2003. For girls, I like Hailey, Sophia, and Arianna. For guys, I'm liking Aiden, Jayden, or Hayden. It's just kind of funny to me that Sophia went from being a Golden Girls character, to be a very popular young girl's name again, while the name Heather is becoming a middle-aged mom name like Susan or something.

*passes out cigars* Well, it's a boy! My little nephew was born 10:29 p.m. EST weighing in at 8 pounds, 13 ounces. Mother and son are doing fine. He makes number 6 in his generation- I now have 4 nieces and 2 nephews ranging from 19 years to a few hours old. It's been a crazy week. I had to deal with the fallout of my internship loss. I had to deal with the reality of setting up plans for getting to my friend's memorial on the 9th. And then I got to see my little nephew born, who's middle name is a tribute to his paternal grandfather who died of cancer over four years ago, before he got to see his son have children. (This is child number 3.) The emotions just bubbled up as I waved between the joy of the blessed event and the crazy sense of loss that I've had washing over me this week. It's been a long and hard week but I got through it, thank god.

Nah, I'm not saying it was the main cause- the main cause was that I overstepped my bonds as a intern and made critical comments to other workers in the agency while they were doing their job, which was incredibly disruptive. But I also think that there were bonds that my supervisor overstepped, and in retrospect we had far too many conversations that were not work-related which happened during work.

I'm guessing Mark's silence means "Addison" is a no. Oh, well. Anyway, check out the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer: I'm not really sure I can see anyone in the family actually getting into the 50 Shades Craze when it drops in 2011-2012, but I'm pretty sure I can see JJ having a submissive relationship with someone. Although he could surprise me and be Christian Grey instead. As for the craze itself, it's brought endless amusement to me. The book is so bad it's good.

Yes, Irritable. I had another internship- this one happened from mid-May to the end of June, and I just sent off an email from them and asked them for any constructive feedback. I haven't heard back from them yet, but I'll definitely make it a point to ask now. I'm not trying to shift blame on anyone here. I got complacent, did not watch carefully over my actions, and I assumed I was doing well instead of actually doing well. I should have taken things more seriously, and I didn't. I'm living with the fact that I irreparably ruined any chance I had with that state agency, which happens to be involved with most of my field in the state of Delaware. But at the same time, there are ways I could have been handled better, and there are things on their side that need to be done.

I really do think since the topic is "people Will has slept with" and not "Will's sexual encounters", it should stick to new people, not people he's revisited.