Linxe Termoil

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Forty-Two Lol, your end note is great This chapter was so much more about emotion then plot. The feeling of change and hope was so well brought through that I find myself rejuvinated by it. Although not a lot of action per-se is going on the story is still moving forward at a decent pace. The characters reactions to Luma and his new lifestyle tell so much about who he was before. And I'm interested to find out who he once took orders from... Regarding the many characters - perhaps you could consider posting an appendix of sorts at some point. That way if readers get a little confused or forget exactly who's who (which I'm sure will happen to me) there is somewhere we can go for reference with just a couple lines on each character. Author's Response: One of the reasons the story goes so slowly at the start is because there are so many characters and I want to make them completely rounded and fixed in the minds of the readers because when the action kicks off there WILL be confusion. I hope that I make the story as clear as possible but an appendix would be a good idea. I might put it in the chapter notes so it's there at the beginning of every chapter and people can refer to it if they get too confused. That was a great idea, thanks. Don't be fooled though that there is no plot in this part of the story. You might not see it but there are things being set up here. Thanks as alwasy for your review and I am so thankful you are liking the story Date: 11/25/2010 09:12 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: phana14 When 'dad' and 'doc' are found I would like a front row seat at the exhibition! YAY!! Bridge finally has a *family*! Or at least a 'daddy and brothers'. Wait! I was wrong! He also has Astaria for a mommy. So he won the lottery! YAY!! So as we end this chapter, the entire household is in a state of euphoria, with the possible exception of Mario. We don't really know what awaits him, but how wrong could it BE under the 'new and improved' Luma? Another outstanding chapter, Nephy! Thanks. Author's Response: Yes, Bridge is a happy bunny. It doesn't take much to make him happy. He has this innate ability to find comfort wherever he can. I've likened him to a kitten in the story and that is an apt description sometimes I think especially as he likes curling up on people's laps and going to sleep. He's also a little minx. The next chapter is going to be a bit explosive and there may possibly be no sex in it .... oh sorry yes there is *wicked grin* Don't worry at all about Dad and Doc I'm sure they are going to be 'fine' Date: 11/25/2010 05:30 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: PArchment of love Okay, I will be the first to admit everytime I read a chapter I just want to go have sex. Although, I love how the steamy scenes all seem to have a bigger point than just being erotic. I must say that I am really interested in seeing if Luma's whole 180 ends up blowing up in his face. I hope not. I also must say that I love Taz. I just love him to bits. Bridge is my favorite though. *stops to review the many boys* ...Yep he is totally my favorite with Chancey close behind. Thats all I want to say. Can't wait to read when all hell breaks loose, which I'm sure it will . Smiles, *HJ* Author's Response: What on earth makes you think that hell is going to break loose... It's going to be quite the opposite in fact. Thank you so much for your comments. I like Taz too and I like his friend even more. Bridge is totally and absolutely my favourite. He's been through so much and it's something that a lot of people would look down on him and criticise him for... but he's preserved a childlike innocence which just gets more and more pronounced. Everyone falls in love with him... everyone, and he's beautiful inside and out. Date: 11/25/2010 01:59 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LOL good twist! I don't remember Taz. Did you introduce this character before? Author's Response: He was mentioned briefly I think. We are now only one away from the full compliment of the house. I wanted to introduce characters slowly so they get clear in your head. There is a very specific number by the end so although it may seem that there are a lot of characters I have, I hope, made sure that they are all distinct and clear and you know them, or at least will. Taz and his friend are goddamn awesome as you can taste from this chapter. They are actually, if unbelievably based on two people I knew. I had a very short fling with one of them but I won't tell you which Thanks for the reviews hun. Yours always make me think Date: 11/24/2010 07:21 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm I can’t look. There are two men on my list now. I will find them. One day I will find them and I will repay his pain moment by moment. --- LOL! This is not justice, is it? It's like revenge. And this is like real harem lol. Inner, outer family.. there's a hierarchy! Author's Response: Oh there will be hierarchy... absolutely inside and outside. Oh absolutely it is revenge totally and completely .... and cold. Date: 11/24/2010 07:12 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm Two steamy sex scenes. I'm a little more convinced that this story is erotica rather than plot-oriented lol. Author's Response: To some extent this may be true, at least with regard to the first part. However, when the second part kicks off things happen fast and get confusing. It's important you get to know the characters well before it all goes to hell Date: 11/24/2010 06:04 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Forty-Two Ah, bathing in blood, I should have known. Well, I'm not one for picking up on obvious hints sometimes We'll see about the pacing. So far I think it's okay. There are a lot of characters being introduced and it's nice that you're focusing on all of them. I love a story with well developed characters so I'd rather see a bit of a slower pace at first than rushing to the action and not really understanding the character's traits or motivations. I'm really liking all the boys that Luma is collecting. Each is so unique that I can't decide which one I want him to focus on. Something about orgies coming up? Can't wait Author's Response: I have not made a secret of my favourite. Aqua is simply awesome but Bridge is my favourite from the moment I started writing him and has stayed with me even after the story is finished. I guess he embodies a lot of the archetype I like to write about... sweet innocence; it's so rarely found. Glad you're still enoying the story. It is going to be fairly slow for a while because there are a lot of little things building and they need to be embedded. I think that later there will be some 'oh right' moments In this story it is very important that the readers really get to know the characters or it might get very confusing later. Date: 11/22/2010 10:47 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: sani-kun whoa! miny panic attack, since I mistook chapter ten for chapter nine... I thought someone was gonna die! though it was nice to see the new-found compasionate side of Luma ( or Ramu, or any other name he has) when he really thought Taz was dying. Author's Response: I know, weird that wasn't it Thanks for the review hun, glad you're liking the story so far Date: 11/22/2010 08:57 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Kavrik Nephy I just wanted to comment that I really enjoy the whole "venom" thing. I've never seen it done that way with a vampire before and it's refreshing and original. Some people will write that vampires hypnotize or just have these powers, etc. I like the idea that you are attributing some of his most fatal powers to a biological product. Author's Response: Thank you. I don't know how it came to me exactly but it seemed to make sense so I went with it. I'm glad you like my vampire, I like him too. I just wish I had the same abilities Date: 11/22/2010 01:18 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Forty-Two The fact that Sacha actually wanted it without being coerced made their bit a little sexier than the last chapter, despite being much shorter and less elaborate. Everyone is so afraid of the bathing room... I wonder what he used to do in there... Sorry, not a whole lot to say on this chapter. It appears to be a bridge chapter and moves things along nicely the way it should. Good job so far Author's Response: One thing you should know/realise is that the first half of the story could be considered to be slow. It is all about introducing characters, developing them as well as possible and leaking in little nuggets that are going to be crucial later on. I think that this might make it a little samey. Trust me though there are some important themes building even if you don't realise yet what they are The 'bathing room' is where Luma used to bathe in blood. Date: 11/18/2010 08:48 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: bugeye What a very wicked vampire tale Author's Response: Hmm... it is, for the moment And it gets wickeder Date: 11/17/2010 06:01 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: sendraguy ''It is here but not here, tucked into a fold in the blanket of existence which exists everywhere and nowhere at the same time.” what a fabulous line! Before you killed off my hope I was going to try to find these boys' hideout on Google earth... What's Bridge about? This has got to be good. Author's Response: Ah well... Bridge is special, that's why I love him so much Date: 11/17/2010 05:21 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: bugeye Seduction! Author's Response: Depends on whom you are suggesting is being seduced Author's Response: Depends on whom you are suggesting is being seduced Date: 11/17/2010 03:39 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: sendraguy A tour de force my dear! God, what I'd give for some of that venom. PS and tell Clovis, that as a fellow-Celt I understand the anti-English thing! ( only joking, to all our English readers) but it's better keeping the visitors away from beautiful Wales, isn't it? Back to the story, this is delicious erotic writing, and -acid test - you make the sex scenes seem pure, undefiled. Author's Response: Don't know why the last response didn't show up. I wrote a really nice one. Can't remember what it said but it certainly said thank you. I know what you mean about the venom. I want not so much to have some but to have someone who has it Delicious. I'm glad I make the sex scenes pure, I hope you still feel that by the end, although I think there is an innocence about all the sex even though objectively it coud easily be seen as abuse. Thank you for seeing that Date: 11/16/2010 09:15 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Aqua Reviewer: sendraguy This has a glorious panoramic scale, as though you're embarking on an epic. The overall feel of corruption is delicious and feels a bit French in places ( De Laclos, Liqueti etc) and it's impressive how much you're investing in the characterisation. Lovely late evening read..... Author's Response: Date: 11/16/2010 04:12 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Forty-Two With regards to your comment about my reviews: Glad you like them. Getting good author responses is just about as rewarding as getting reviews! I think my reviews just seem better than they are because I'm so damn verbose. I like to hear myself talk (see myself write?) and therefore spill a lot of $#*! into the review box and because there's so much of it statistically some of has to be good Gave up on naming the chapters after the prologue and #1, huh? Such unique events... you have a fantasitic mind. His lack of love for his boys makes a lot more sense now... I was wondering why he bothered if he didn't really care for them. I love that he gets off so much on fear, as real vampires should. The adjustment to respecting human life should be an interesting one. Author's Response: Bless him, he has a lot of troube with it. Sometimes he just can't let go of that contempt for humanity, even though he wants to. He knows he shoudn't be doing what he's doing (after his visit to Astaria) but old habits die hard and he cant help but slip back if he's not concentrating. verbiose is good when the words are fun. I always look forward to your reviews, one becuase they usually have something interesting to say, two because they usually make me think and three because they're fun. Date: 11/15/2010 09:56 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Cia I have to say reading Chance's story made me cry. It was so awful, so completely unredeeming. The fact that a parent could be so callous and cold so that their child would think starving and dying on the streets is a better alternative is so emotionally wrenching. I both love and hate the way you are able to evoke so much feeling with the stories you create. Author's Response: thank you hun. I really appreciate that, even though you have the wrong character . I can't tell you anything about the future because the spoiler police will get me but I wouldn't bother to invest too much much hatred in the dad... it's not needed Date: 11/15/2010 09:44 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Aqua Reviewer: Forty-Two I quite like the idea of fluid names. That the vampire chooses names for his boys really helps with emphasising how he thinks of and treats them like pets. There are too many similarities to count between our muses. I know it is due to the nature of the genre, however, I prefer to think of it as a special link that we share Very intriguing. You really like to write about characters who are always and defiantly an expression of their SELF. Corruptible? I'm not so sure at this point. So this thing sometimes happens to me where I'm reading/watching something that's so good I get desperate to write something equally as good. You are truly an inspirational author, and unfortunately for you with regards to your reviews that means I'm going to stop reading for now. I assure you, as paradoxical as it sounds, I'm stopping for today because it is so good. I will be back! Author's Response: That is just so totally awesome. Have you any idea how complimentary it is to think that I've actually inspired someone to write, especially you becuase I LOVE what you write. Well, that's an awesome set up for the day. I wish I wrote reviews as well as you do. I'm pretty crap at that too Date: 11/14/2010 10:37 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Forty-Two Woo, I finally made it out to start reading Fallen! "I have never seen anything so beautiful, so strange or so corruptible." Loved this line. Ha, I didn't even notice the switch in tenses, not very observant of me, huh? I suppose it can be taken as a compliment that the writing was so smooth and polished I could only focus on plot and not on structure or style. Go Nephy! I am hooked. Great set up, great opening, great intregue, great pace. Although, if I were someone not familiar with you and/or your stories, the summary would have made me think twice about reading it. It starts out well but then gets kind of long-winded and complicated and the info is all over the place with no consistent tone. Since the summary is the very first thing people will read, I think it's very important to give a good first impression and your summary sets up the expecation for amature writing. It is redeemed a little by the background info in the chapter note though. That really helped raise my expectations for the story. Author's Response: You've caught me by my achilles heel. I am totally absolutely crap at writing summries. Always was. HAHA Will try to do better sir The problem is that this story IS kind of all over the place. Date: 11/14/2010 10:08 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Wyndham This just gets better and better. You are truly gifted Nephylim Author's Response: Thank you. I'm honoured you think so. It's a big change for me. I figured that I wasn;t writing enough sex so maybe I would write a story about sex and I've tried it out in just about every way I could think of all in one story so plenty more to come. (and it is NOT a spoiler to say that a story about sex has a lot more sex in it Greedya ) Date: 11/13/2010 03:13 AM

Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Forty-Two What can I say, that was a lot of sex And somehow you managed to actually keep a little plot and character development in there. Sometimes Luma's musings were just bordering on losing the action too much before he focused on the boys again, but overall the balance was pretty good, the pace steady with a few breaks so that the sex didn't get stale. I really like that most of the boys have some sort of mystical element surrounding them. I didn't expect them to be anything but human accept for Aqua. All the characters are very interesting and I hope Taz doesn't die because I was just getting to like him! Author's Response: There is a whole lot of sex. A whole whole lot of sex but as the story progressess there is less sex (slightly) and more plot. Some of the characters are human Date: 12/15/2010 09:01 AM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: phana14 So tell me, Nephy, if you can: Why did my eyes open faster this morning and why does the coffee taste SO much sweeter? In spite of all the consternation you're showing for Bridge's health, we all know that he is going to 'make it'. That crazy Luma should be screaming "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" A great chapter, Nephy. Thanks. Author's Response: He's fallen okay... whether he gets back up or not... AH,.. so you think the 'Fallen' means fallen in love. As for Bridge... Thank you so much for the review. Date: 12/15/2010 04:19 AM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Cia This is my favorite chapter I think. It's when the separate parts become a whole. Well, Bridge is missing in person but not spirit if you know what I mean. Sigh... hot, erotic, loving, sweet; all rolled into one. Star is awesome. Author's Response: Thanks hun. This one and the next couple are my favourites too It's awesome when you review a story you have already read, a real honour Date: 12/14/2010 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: phana14 What the....? If I just read that correctly, Star and Astaria are now one and the same. Oh my! I surely DO hope that's the truth! That would go so far toward explaining this all-encompassing love that has developed between Star and Luma! And a very lovely chapter this was, dearie! Not graphic enough to do any harm to an old jaded mind. This Luma dude is still running circles around me though. Unless he is of the 'Seventh Day Adventist' persuasion (or is that the Mormons?) how is it that he can lay claim to BOTH Star AND Bridge? The lucky stiff!! AND I am still clueless as far as Sacha, Serif and Taz are concerned. p Thank you, Nephy. Author's Response: Luma can do what he wants hun, He doesn't live in the same world as the rest of us so the normal rules don't apply. It's meant to be a four way thing... Luma, Sacha, Bridge and Star. There is actually a reason for that as you will find out shortly Star and Astaria have always been one. If you remember is a previous chapter it was explained that Astaria sent part of her soul into baby Star and that is the part that has been talking to him, and the part that has slowly been preparing him and leading him to Luma in the end... except of course it isnt the end, nowhere near it Serif in particular is in a class of his own as we... and Luma will find out soon enough Date: 12/13/2010 06:45 AM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: phana14 Such a sweet, sweet chapter. If Star and Luma become an item-where does that leave Bridge? I absolutely adore how you have turned the story theme from 'killer vampire' to 'lover vampire'. This story was meant to be told, Nephy! It's so fantastic that one can pull up a memory of someone from their past (present?) and be able to create a "Bridge"! Hugs, you! <3 Author's Response: Don't worry hun, Bridge won't be left out and neither will Sasha. Bridge is my favourite character and nothing too bad is going to happen to him. There are actually some very sweet chapters in the offing but then all hell breaks loose so hold on to your hat. You have no idea how happy I am that you have continued to review. You are my absolute favourite reviewer as you ALWAYS make me smile. Date: 12/09/2010 05:52 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Kavrik I love the narrator. He is so irresistable, so seductive, and so dangerous. I was telling my friend about your story and about how the House can open into any place he wants it to. You are so clever. Author's Response: Thank you. Oh yes, Luma is dangerous, far more dangerous than he appears. One of the reasons he is so dangerous is because he still looks eighteen, a sweet and innocent young teenager with real dental issues. Very dangerous combination. He's not as dangerous as he used to be though Date: 12/09/2010 12:40 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: phana14 BRAVURAS, sweet Nephylim!!! Author's Response: I'm doing my Phana dance. Huge hugs Date: 12/08/2010 02:08 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Forty-Two “That is hard to hear Bridge but I understand that it was so much harder to live.” Is Luma being honest? I know he's been getting in touch with his humanity and whatnot but it feels like (considering what Luma has done to his boys) nothing could be bad enough that Luma would feel empathy for it. I'd expect his reaction to be pretty much, "Huh, par for the course," and for him to act more concerned only to comfort/manipulate Bridge. Same as above for, “Didn’t he do anything when they hurt you? Did he try to protect you?” I can barely believe that there was a man who would treat a dog, let alone his own son like this. "I make a mental note to try and look him up sometime." Oh man, SUCKS to be Bridge's father when Luma follows through... "He shudders and snuggles closer in to me, staring up into his face." ?? staring up into MY face? "I can’t bear to see him like this. I don’t want to hear any more but I know he needs to say it so I hug him fiercely and let him continue." Same as the first comment. I'll stop pointing these parts out now since I'm sure you get the idea... Does Bridge have an actual disease or is it purposely non-descript? Or will we just find out later? "He is glorious and I don’t want to tame him, I want him to come to me wild.” This is just awesome. So wonderfully put, such a great revelation. This story just... lights a fire in my heart every time I read it. It burns with a curious intensity and draws one helplessly to the flame. Thank you for igniting my imagination with it. Author's Response: I'm glad that you like the story. There is nothing more complimentary that can be said to a writer than that they inspired another writer especially one who's work you respect. There are two reasons why Luma is acting this way with Bridge. Firstly to show that his humanity and compassion are coming back fast now (although there are slips) because Luma isn't a vampire and you will see later that the coldness and viciousness was the front, the act, and not the sweetness. Secondly because of Bridge. There is just something about Bridge that MAKES people care. it's almost like magic Date: 12/07/2010 11:17 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: sani-kun Now, THERE's the Luma we all know and love. it's been so lovey dovey, I was a little afraid he HAD lost his edge. and I'm really looking forward to the new pets, if they turn into those. Author's Response: HAHA... well there's soft and then there's soft. Lume may be finiding a heart but no one said he was losing his cold blooded killer instincts. If anything threatens his boys he turns into a monster The question is... is he a monster. Does learning to love and being nice to his boys now make him a good guy when it has been preceded by centuries of heartlessness... killing for pleasure, treating people like animals... interestin thought Thanks for the review. I'm glad you are liking the story Date: 12/04/2010 08:45 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Kavrik Awesome revenge chapter against the two men that hurt Bridge! I guess I'm as surprised as your narrator that the doctor was so handsome. Shattering cliche' and stereotypes makes this story even better. Oh and the thing with the house that opens anywhere and DNA reader were awesome. Author's Response: Thank you I had real fun writing that chapter because the father and doctor so deserved it., and I think we needed to be reminded that although Luma is letting love into his heart he can be one cold son of a bitch Date: 12/04/2010 11:31 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Nanmander Nephy! I'm in love with Bridge (in a non-romantic way). He's a sweetheart to the tenth power, even though he's been through so much! The names are seriously cool, by the way. You should write your own name book. Babies everywhere would benefit. Author's Response: Haha. I'll have to think about that. Some of the names have other significance though and are not my inventions Date: 12/02/2010 01:42 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Kavrik I love the names that you choose for your characters. As well, you have the ability to make even flat characters spin so that they appear three dimensional despite having only a little bit of page presence. I think when I critically read your writing, I'm looking for ways to try and improve my own because you have a mastery over emotion which just pours from your pages with such richness and depth that it leaves me in awe. Author's Response: Thank you. That was a fantastic review. It is the greatest compliment that any author could have to give inspiration to another. I'm glad you like this story as it is one of my favourites. I think you will find later on that at least some of the names are very deliberate. Date: 11/30/2010 01:19 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: phana14 I had noticed that someone had suggested the appendage with which you began this chapter. I didn't need it as I keep my own chapter notes with each story I read. HOWEVER, re: Serif, in MY notes from chapter 4, my only comment is "household boy". I saw no indication of anything that we should be concerned with as far as him being a 'threat' or (as we say in modern times) a person of interest. But my evil eye is upon him, now! But enough of that scary stuff!! Let's get to the part of this chapter that really 'tells-it-ALL'. That would be (wait--this is only ONE of the pretty parts) when Luma does this: "Oh Bridge," I whisper. "At this moment I would gladly die for you...but for me...for me you must live." My freaking heart is breaking here, Nephy!! And then we get: "Because once you have spoken to him you will not be able to betray him." I concur! And of course....the bad news..uh-oh--"I need to hunt again." So imma watch Serif AND Taz and only because they have been ID'd. And OH MY! Lest we forget--A fantastic chapter, you! Author's Response: Thank you hun. Yes I think that you should watch Taz and Serif very carefully. Everyone else does, if only to make sure that they aren't behind them. Yeah, Luma is off on the hunt again and there will be new boys but only because of the numbers darling. Oooh I am pissing myself laughing right now at my little joke. I love Bridge sooooo much. He's been through such a lot and remained so pure and golden. Keep your eyes on him he is definitely a sun around which many things revolve. In this story you need to watch very very carefully because almost nothing is quite as it seems... and some things are EXACTLY as they seem *giggle* Date: 11/29/2010 05:01 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Cia I like that you released 12 & 13 together. The sweetness of the scenes and love between Bridge and Radu/Luma is so very moving. Then you have the contrast with the taking of Serif. That's definitely a 'wild ride'. The scene there is so full of hints I missed for the most part the first time around, I love you add in those little details. I find it interesting in the little 4 way of Sacha, Star, Brige and Radu that you have 2 very dominant personalities and 2 very submissive. Yet... they are all equal. More hints there that add to an overall wonderful story. Great chapters!! Author's Response: Date: 11/29/2010 02:12 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Forty-Two You are doing a great job at setting up the characters and giving each of them their individual due without going off on long tangents. I didn't mean to imply there was no plot at all - I can see that lots of set up is being done (Luma's personality, the physical structure and pecking order of the house, the place each boy has, the importance of Chancey, etc) and it is worth it to focus on these details if they're important. I'm really glad you like my appendix idea, if not just for myself who with only a few days between chapters had forgotten who Sacha was. (Totally my sieve brain, not your fault.) “No, not really but... I had forgotten you’re not human. You’re the most human person I have ever met.” So very telling. I like how Luma calls him, "Little one," it's very cute. Bridge is a very intriguing character. I wonder how your personal love of him will effect the story, seeing as it seems as though Aqua should be the main focus. The way you write Luma's thoughts and needs, it is very easy to accept that he needs his whole stable of boys, that only one or two certainly would never be enough. It's nice to see all the different reactions to him, Aqua and Mario's resistance, Bridge's blind acceptance, Sacha's love, Chancey's loyalty, all their fear, instead of just following Luma's interactions with one person. With all the crisscrossed lines of love and lust and Luma's changes, there is great potential for the balance of the house to erupt into chaos… I wonder how it will all play out. I see no problem with the pacing at this point. I'm drawn into the story more and more with each chapter. If only I had time to read it faster! Author's Response: Mr? Erupt in Chaos? Never I am very glad you like the 'setting up' There is some more of it to go and some new characters to complete the set. The numbers are no accident so I have no apology for the fact that there are even more to come. I will start the appendix with the next chapter as there has already been a significant change. It is very important that all the little clues that are building up are embedded because when it explodes it explodes and no one is going to believe what is about to happen unless they pick up on them. I love your reviews because I know you are my vampire expert. I am so glad you like the story. I have another vampire (ish) one in the pipeline which I think you might like too Date: 11/29/2010 09:10 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: phana14 Well, goodness! (and LOTS of it, too!) We're going to nominate this chapter as the "Best of Fallen"! Ahem, at least so far! You are truly an enigma in our 'real' world, Nephy! You can be the sweetest thing going and turn on a dime and torture. You paint the most gorgeous scenery and then cover it with blood. ARRRRRGH!! I need a teddy like Bridge in my arms. So loveable! Thanks! Author's Response: In this story there is definitely plenty of diversity sure enough I LOVE LOVE LOVE Bridge... and you know what THAT means don't you? I do like to do sweetness sometimes. Everyoe needs sweetness and there is no one sweeter than Bridge. It's almost as if he's magic, not even human at all. Almost. Date: 11/28/2010 06:02 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: phana14 STOP THAT, YOU!! You make me want to hold (cuddle) him as Luma is doing, and then a second later you are referring to him as a 'whore'! Really! If he isn't the cutest little thing! Well, I'm certainly glad that Taz stayed with us. At this point I wonder that Luma has the self control to keep this from happening again? Great chapter, Nephy! Thanks! Author's Response: Well he was a whore. I want to show that we are what we are not what has happened to us. Bridge has done things that people would consider to be bad. He sold his body for money to the extent that it almost killed him. But underneath the dross there was always gold and the darkness of the past is there to show the true gold that is coming to the surface now. I LOVE Bridge. As for Taz well... think about it. Date: 11/28/2010 05:31 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: phana14 "Uh oh" what? For heavens' sake! Surely you can't be saying "But wait! There's more!"? Has Taz exited the building? Is he seeing the 'pearly gates'? And how in the Hel did I end up with a handful of M&M candy having the consistency of damp, colored salt? So many questions left unanswered. Author's Response: You're falling behind dude. If you read on you will find out. And then ask yourself... why? Date: 11/27/2010 09:01 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Agaith Well well well, Star is feisty as ever. And Bridge... can I have him instead? Mr Vampire has plenty of other boys to please him... please may I have Bridge?! Seriously though this was a very touching chapter and quite revealing to see how far Mr Vampire is willing to go to win Star over. (I expect plenty more horrible twists to the tale yet though!) Thanks Nephy Author's Response: No you can't, he's mine. I've always said he's my favourite and I love him to bits. Star is strong and feisty but Bridge is just magical. There are indeed lots of twists and some of them are horrible. Date: 11/26/2010 10:06 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Russianrat No ordinary vampire, indeed. Like the young man in your story, I am entranced, Nephylim. Author's Response: Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you like it. As far as Luma not being an ordinary vampire... just wait and see, Date: 11/25/2010 05:35 PM

LoL. Thanks Guys.

Andy has had the worst week ever, and today is the day he has to deal with what has happened.

This is a work of fiction, all locations, individuals and settings is a work of the authors imagination. Any resemblance to a person dead or alive is sheer coincidence. This story does not contain sexual scenes. All rights to the story belong to the author, and this story may not be posted anywhere without the permission of said author. Any trademarked names that appear in this story belong to the companies that own them, and the author in no way shape or form claims affiliation or ownership of

edited out. I went into the links you provided and even into the story and pulled random paragraphs, then quoted them and posted with no problems. Whatever problems you seem to have been having appear to have worked themselves out as I am currently not having any problems with posting. If you run into this problem again highlight all your text and just click remove formatting. Linxe

Please ignore this post. I'm currently troubleshooting the quote process that was causing problems.

A/N This is dedicated to you. You know who you are. After I got done throwing up, all I could do was sit there and watch as emergency vehicles and people came and went. At some point in time I'd managed to get that little kid's attention; kept it on me. I was singing to him. Couldn't tell you what I was singing though. Just singing. Then they brought the first body along on a stretcher. I couldn't look away. It was like I was eleven all over again, at the hospital with my mom. Watching

I opened my eyes and squinted at the faint light filtering in the bedroom windows. Still sleepy, I blinked my eyes rapidly in an effort just to keep my eyes open. Wondering what time it was I rolled over, realizing I was no longer alone. Something was lying at my feet. I glanced over at the alarm clock next to my bed. It was 6:30 in the morning. Shit! Shit! Shit! Then I heard a door slamming shut downstairs. "Mom! Have you seen my purr-ball?" Reese's voice echoed through the house and into my

His fist pummeled me again. I grunted. The hilarity of our spaghetti dinner had worn off and Joel and I were fighting. "Damn it, Joel! It's not yours, you can't wear it!" I whispered hoarsely. Even as I tugged at the...shirt he was wearing, he kicked me. I caught his foot and, letting go of his shirt, tugged at his...pants. "It is mine! Elizabeth bought it for me!" Joel shouted at me. His hand gestures let me know how angry he was with me. "It's ugly," I whispered. "I'm telling," he

By Linxe Termoil After we left the courthouse, I discovered it was Thursday. I had been in jail for six days. I'm pretty sure two years and a couple of weeks wouldn't have killed me, if it meant I didn't have to stay with this woman, her family, or see Patrick and his leering green eyes ever again. Joel was trying to talk to me but I was tuning him out in favor of watching the cars driving past us. I had no idea where we were going. Home, I guess. At least, that's where Joel said we were g

Garrett's head was pounding and his chest hurt like mad. He felt like he'd just been gutted with a sword. He couldn't remember a whole lot; just that he'd been in a fight and people were dead. He wasn't even sure he cared to remember, he just wanted to the room to stop spinning. The sound of feet and heavy breathing somewhere close to him frightened him. He reacted in a split second; harnessed power and gathered the air and earth within his grasp, launched himself to his feet in a split secon

The flames surrounding Garrett grew brighter. Garrett winced with the pain that flared up all over his body in response. Other voices cried out in fear. Garrett turned around, stared at the familiar faces of the students who had been meant to be exiled. Faces that were filled with panic, limbs frozen with fear. All in all, they numbered 12. And, as best as he could tell, they were all trapped inside the dome of fire that surrounded them. The tower room was gone. There was nothing past the fla

Ah, Children of fire; ice; stone and wind. The Emperor is dead; his heir is gone and we stand here by the sea, upon the shores of Haventing. The children weep, the Kings seek his throne, and the Mages of Ganentide are lost without their King. Alas ye fly away, to whence you came, to mourn an Emperor fallen. Yet still we weep, your children of Haventine. A bard's lament; written upon the shores of Haventine upon the loss of the last Emperor at the battle of Haventine, som

Garrett's life is over. His body has been ravaged by magic beyond his control. He is a freak of nature, with mythical powers that are only told about in legend. He has no home, no friends, and his family believes he is dead. Amidst all that, war has come to the Kingdoms. He has no place in life. Or does he?

"The day of choosing is upon us. Be welcome into the House of Andegeth, Saxoph-Lon!" The words were spoken by a tall, well built man. His armor was a shiny black that had a silver sheen to it when caught just right by the sun. A black dragon in flight covered the front of the man's tabard, matching the various dragons embossed into various parts of his armor. He bowed in response to the formal greetings from the Ganath-Khein; even though he felt the whole ritual was completely unnecessary, consi

The neighborhood was old and run down, with cracks in the sidewalks and potholes in the middle of the road. Sunny opened his eyes and grunted as Devin’s jeep ran over another pot-hole, watching as the tall grass from the empty lots moved past him. He closed his eyes again when they hit the next pot-hole, wishing Devin hadn’t woken him up so early to take him somewhere. The worst was when Devin had casually informed him with a cruel grin that he didn’t have any aspirin for Sunny’s hangover, and t

He moved impatiently up the stairs of the old building and knocked eagerly on the door, still a tad pissed off that he had stood outside the movie theatre for an hour before he acknowledged that he'd been stood up, again. It wasn't the first time it had happened to him, but he didn't understand why it was happening more and more, lately. He had thought everything had been going well. He was in love with Evan, and Evan was in love with him. And that's what mattered, right? Fireworks exploded i

Dallas yawned while he walked into the kitchen. He’d woken up late and it had taken him some tim to realize that Devin was not in the room with him, but that was okay. His brother rarely ever did what anyone expected of him. If a person were to look up his brother in the dictionary, they’d find him described by several words—unfortunately; he didn’t have a dictionary with him. “Hi ma, pa,” Dallas mumbled sleepily as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Black, just the way he liked it. “Hi Da

“Cool!” Devin exclaimed, turning around and heading across the street to where he had parked his car earlier that day. “Cool?” Sammy asked. To Devin, it sounded as if the boy were miles away. Devin stopped in the middle of the street and turned to face Sammy squarely. “Yeah. Cool. You had a problem. You’ve been given a chance to fix that problem. You don’t honestly think you’re the only one around here who has problems with drugs, alcohol, and life, do you? “Life?” Sammy questioned,

Dallas moaned, feeling his body tingle under the onslaught of Sam’s tongue, pleased that his friend wanted to continue the relationship that they had started a couple months before school ended. Unfortunately, they could be making out in far more interesting places than the locker room at school after P.E. class. “Sam,” Dallas whispered huskily, trying to get the shorter boy’s mouth off his neck. “Oh my god,” another voice said, causing Dallas’s head to snap up as Sam recoiled away from Da

The house was burning brightly in the dark of night. Neighbors were standing around on the sidewalks as the wail of sirens in the distance came closer, fireworks from the property bursting high into the night air, fighting the glare of the fire for attention. He just stared at the burning house as the sweet smell of burning wood and sulfur mingled together, giving him a dizzying rush. He smirked at his handiwork, despite the tears of emotional pain running down his cheeks. Still smiling, he

After Devin left the table things seemed to be slightly strange for awhile, but Devin never rejoined them after he finished washing his car, instead going back inside. Dallas had quickly regained his composure and he and Sunny found themselves talking about the school Sunny would be going to, and the social clichés that seemed to abound in every high school that never changed. During their conversation they discovered that they were the same age: 15 going on 16 in a week, both of their birthdays

Susie Townsend eased herself into her son’s room and frowned down at his boxer clad form in worry, something she found herself doing daily when he was out cold, living in the land of dreams. She stared at his face turned towards the wall, all the lines of pain that were usually hidden when he was awake visible in his sleep, the pain in his heart barely evident, but there none the less. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek softly, wanting to know what in his life had gone so wrong, a

Devin is a quiet boy who is having problems interacting with people due to his past. Sunny just moved to town and is dealing with his own tragedy, or is he? Meeting Sunny for the first time finally draws Devin to a few conclusions about his life, and ultimately forces him to deal with his own tragedy.