Linxe Termoil

edit out

Okay so seriously, it's been like a week or something. Where's Chapter 2 at, already? <poke>

You owe me Jeremy's Redemption first lady Get to work! *cracks his whip*

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Frostina *tears* Why did he have to die??? why?? Why do the best die young? **Sighs** Author's Response: Sometimes it happens. Most of my stories have happy endings but some don't because life doesn't I hope you enjoyed the story despite the soggy tissues at the end Date: 12/06/2010 01:03 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Wow. This was beautiful, and gripping and really f**king sad. God I mean seriously it made me cry. Any chance you might want to make a Love Me Always 2... that begins with and his breath hitched, and his eyes popped open cause he you know didn't die! Gah. Like Timmy said. I love/hate this story as well. The characters were beautiful. The writing brilliant. And it was devastatingly heartbreaking. And P.S wasn't kidding about the Love Me Always 2 story. And not just cause i'm a sucker for happy endings. I really feel like this story would be interesting with a continuation. Author's Response: Thank you. I would say that I'm sorry the story made you cry... but I'm not coz it was supposed to Not every story has a happy ending... and certainly not every 'my' story has a happy ending. I couldn't write like that. Life is full of unhappy endings and it just works out that sometimes stories have to reflect life. I have never written a sequel to anything I've written (Until Enigma II) although many of my stories leave the chance for one open. I write what comes. Who knows, maybe one day I will write a sequel but it's not in the offing at the moment. thank you so much for the review. Every single one of them is apprecaited. Date: 07/11/2010 05:57 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, I think the most accurate review I can give you for this story is to refer you to Timmy's! Thank you, Neph. Author's Response: Hehe. I never promised happy endings ALL the time. Date: 06/25/2010 10:02 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Forty-Two A very passionate story. I liked all the faery imagery contrasting with the cold portrayal of the real world. The story would read better if the sentences were chopped up more - some of them run on and on and on! I also found some of the confessional, worried, promising drama very repetative. Cut out about a third of the length and it would have a lot stronger impact! Great ending. Some of your descriptions and poignant character moments are just perfect. One of my favorite spots: Daniel opened his eyes and stared up, his look intense. “Tell me.” “Tell you what?” “Tell me how you feel.” “How I feel? Frightened. Terrified that I’ve ruined everything, that I am going to lose the most precious thing I have ever had in my life. I’m half crazy not knowing what to do, what to say. I have fought with this for so long, loved you for so long. I have watched you and tried to be your friend when all the time all I’ve wanted… all I wanted…” Author's Response: Thank you. Just the sort of criticism I want and need. I have, actually realised that my sentences can run away from me. I have tried to pull them back but they are pretty independent at times. I'm thinking of buying leashes. I see absolutely what you mean about the repetition too... I am torn about that. The purpose of it was to convey that this had been going one for a long time and Connor had been going round and round and round... and Daniel has been totally clueless. Hmm I will look at it again and think about it. I have certainly taken on board the sentence thing and am trying hard. I am really glad you liked the story. It was the first one I wrote specifically for the site, so only the second one involving a gay relationship. Since then I've been writing exclusively gay and finding it far easier ,sexier and more rewarding than the straight relationships I was writing before. Date: 02/10/2010 11:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham What a beautiful story, even if it is also very sad. Thank you for your wonderful imagination and writing. Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. Date: 11/16/2009 10:29 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rilbur A good story. A sad ending, but a good story. Every time I wonder why all stories seem to have happy endings, as if there is a rule barring sad ones, a story like this reminds me. The occasional sad ending is good, and fair, and right. But too many are ultimatly unfulfilling: they must be used in moderation. Oh, and your end note seems to imply that your characters here are based on someone else's story. Including information on who that is might be a good idrea, because I for one don't recognize them. Author's Response: That's what you get for cut and pasting stock disclaimers. Nope... the characters, the story, the ending all comes from nowhere but my own twisted imagination. Date: 07/09/2009 03:35 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 WOW! You had my heart on my throat all most times! Very gripping story. Looking forward to reading more of your stories. ~Rush~ Date: 06/11/2009 08:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Timmy *tears* I love/hate this story. Date: 06/10/2009 05:01 PM

Title: Chapter 37 Reviewer: phana14 Dear, sweet Nephylim, Sleep soundly, dark lady. You have earned it with this one. We had a lightning storm come through just as I was reading the last chapter and I thought "How SO fitting! Nephy, I don't know what to say except you took me by storm again! Wonderful story! Thanks. Author's Response: Awww... that was a wonderful thing to say It is totally awesome that you had a lightening storm at the end. You are right it is SOOO fitting. I am glad you liked this story. It was the first one I posted here and I posted it all in one go. I hadn't learned about the sweet addiction of reviews and how to get a fix by posting chapter by chapter I have thought about taking it down and re posting chapter by chapter but I decided that it would just be self indulgent to do that and I should leave it stand as it is. I'm glad I did so that you could go and the complete journey and end with a bang... or should that be a crash Date: 06/16/2010 03:25 PM Title: Chapter 30 Reviewer: phana14 OK, Nephy! You're scaring the bejebus out of me here! Hello! Looking for an angel over here! Stunningly exciting story so far, Neph! Author's Response: Yep.... scary as hell... especially for Daniel Well... it's over now for Daniel. He's become the angel he always seemed to me. What happens after this is... surprising Thanks for sticking with me. I think I shall have to give you a badge of honour for ploughing your way through all my work in one go. You have to be sick of me by now surely Date: 06/16/2010 02:10 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: phana14 Ohhhh Nephy! I think I see "wings" sprouting on angel #2.... I really like these shorties! They sort of take the commitment out of the picture, like mini commercials, if you will. Well, gotta get back to my angel(s)! Author's Response: Glad you like the style. Some people find it frustrating. I think it's that I didn't write the story to post so it kind of translated in a slightly odd way. Glad you're liking it so far Date: 06/16/2010 12:36 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: phana14 whooo hooo! The bus stopped and I jumped on for a ride with an angel! Can it even GET any better? I believe I'll call him A..., or should I call him Daniel? Hit the gas, Nephy! Lets GO! Author's Response: Hehe... call him what you like hun...he's so confused right now he'll answer to anything. Thanks for the review. Hope you enjoy the ride Date: 06/16/2010 11:21 AM Title: Chapter 37 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay I am STUNNED!!! What an awesome story. I have read all of your other stories on this site, and have LOVED them all, but this one is in a class all by itself. This could have been a full length novel and probably reached the NYT Bestseller list. You must be extraordinarily proud to be the author of this story. BRAVO!!! Author's Response: Bloody hell. That was an awesome reveiw. Thanks. I liked this story when I wrote it but haven't read it for a while. Daniel is a sweetie. I'm glad you liked my stories. It's always a boost when someone enjoys your work. I hardly think it merits the NYT Bestseller list but it was nice of you to say so. Proud? um... I suppose so. i never thought of it. Pleased certainly when someone likes my work. Not really sure about the proud part. I'll work on it Thanks again. There's more. I keep on writing, and I hope you will keep reading. There's plenty in the pipeline. Have two copleted works ready to post and working on Weeping Lily in between Date: 03/09/2010 11:27 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer The story is quite interesting so far I am liking Daniel and i am intrigued by his loss of memory. I look forward to reading more Author's Response: I love Daniel and his loss of memory really isn't all that it seems, neither is Daniel... I hope you continue to enjoy. Date: 02/21/2010 02:49 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Hehe it is getting better! Author's Response: Oooh... glad to hear that. I hope you contine to enjoy... it's not your usual story... not my usual story either. Date: 02/21/2010 02:39 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer I just stumbled upon this It is intriguing i am going to continue to read Author's Response: Sorry I mised your review hun. I wasn't expecting anyone to find this after so long... in fact Rush is in the process of persuading me to re post Glad you are enjoying it so far. Date: 02/21/2010 02:36 PM Title: Chapter 37 Reviewer: Rilbur Not quite the ending I would have expected, but a great story with a good ending. Even if the 'extra short' chapters got a little bit tiring in the end Author's Response: Sorry to tire you... good thing you didn't fall asleep before you got to the end Date: 07/09/2009 11:26 AM

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, I think maybe I should stop reading you in the am. It appears that I am going to be a tad late for work. Oh well! A VERY small price to pay for a story that I wish was a LOT longer, even though this one isn't nearly as dark as your normal ones are. I perticularly enjoyed that misspelling of Christopher's name. That was sweet! I don't even care if it was or was not intentional !! Also-early in the story- was your toungue firmly planted in your cheek when you made a somewhat *shocking* remark? Just curious. You are, indeed, amazing! Author's Response: Ooops yeah it was unintentional.Hun... my tongue is often planted firmly in my cheek and a lot of the time it is never picked up. It amuses me when no one catche in and it amues me even more when they do. This was the first thing i ever posted. It was fun to write. It was originally written with the intention of it being very 'visual' as it was going to be turned into a short film for my daughter's girlfriend's media degree. Glad you liked it. Date: 06/24/2010 04:40 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Sure would like to see you expand on this one. It has such potential.... Author's Response: It was written as an experiment and is focussed on the video because it was kind of written as a screenplay only not... if that makes sense, which it probably doesn't it was written with my daughter in law in mind. She was doing a media degree and working on various media projects. I suppose it is not impossible that it will be expanded on at some point if I stop getting flooded with inspiration for new proects THank you as always for your review Date: 03/05/2010 07:32 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Very good... you held me on the edge of my seat right to the end... and it was exacly the right ending. Author's Response: I thought so. Thank you. I am glad you liked this one. Hope it doesn't give you any nightmares Date: 01/31/2010 01:00 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Forty-Two Here are some criticisms and comments - hope it doesn't sound too harsh! The premise of the story is very cinematic. It's structured like a short film, complete with decent explorations of the characters and a good twist ending. A lot of the dialogue is stilted and needs a more natural flow. The opening conversation seems the most forced - just trying to convey as much info as possible. A few really long run-on sentences and several tiny grammar mistakes (missing punctuation, Chris being spelt "Christ") really detract from the story while reading. "He whistled. 'Ambitious.'" This is first moment the story feels more natural and smooth. I would expect any people working at an exclusive and expensive clinic would be doctors, having either their PhD or MD, not professors. Some of the explanations are necessary but written a little like the person is quoting a textbook - the three different drugs used for lethal injection for example. Some are a little too detailed - ex. we all know that cutting off one's air prevents oxygen from going to the brain. It's like saying, "He grasped the round metal orb with his hand and squeezed his fingers tight enough so that the knob would rotate with his hand as he twisted it. This caused the latch to recede into the six by three foot wooden rectancle, so that when he applied force the door swung forward on its two hinges into the hallway and gave him entrance to the house," instead of saying, "He opened the door." You also spend a lot of time explaining "this is how it would normally be done, but because of x and y factor this is how we are going to do it." This really breaks up the suspense - halting your narrative flow. Why not just say how they are going to do it? Or better yet, have them explain (as little as possible) as they're doing it so Chris gets the fear of the metal picture as well as his watching family. I liked the kidnapper's perception on death - "It fascinates me, the thought that you have stared into the face of the beast and returned." Perhaps part of the reason the kidnapper chose this kid and this method of torture is because he himself is fascinated with death - even more so than Chris. I didn't expect the twist - although Ian's hate of Chris in the beginning makes a lot more sense once it is revealed. Ian also shows an interesting fascination with death when he says, "Tell me, what did it feel like? To be so totally helpless? When the drug started to take effect and you thought you were dying...how did it feel?" I love that Chris is healed by the man who was trying to destroy him. That he just finds the strength to walk away - without even being caught up in over-dramatic revenge - is a much better ending than an overly dismal death for his character or a bloody and violent conclusion. Author's Response: I am very honoured by your comments and especially the criticisms. It is only by being criticised (and I use that in the way it is supposed to be) that you can grow. I think that was the most detailed review I have ever had and the most useful. The whole thing is kind of supposed to be very cinematic... it's a description of a video and I kind of saw it that way... like looking at a video. Yeah I know it's kind of 'preachy' and long winded in places. The reason that Ian and the kidnapper share a fascination with death is because...it's mine:) I will try to take on board what you have said and use it in future stories. Thanks again Date: 11/13/2009 11:02 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: aikirangel wow, that was some rollercoaster ride. you had me on the edge of my seat, the whole time. The torture was incredibly vivid and painful to read (it helped that it was twice removed via the video). Ian sounds like a worse piece of work than his brother. I would love to imagine this to be a cathartic experience for Chris to exorcise the demons unleashed upon him. I liked it, but will probably not read it again... it was that powerful... read one of your responses about being a Pollyanna? is any of that in any other of your stories:-) to balance me out as it were... regardless, this is one hell of a read...thanks it woke me up at work, my heart was literally racing, had to take a break a in the middle of it, just to breath. well done Author's Response: Wow, thanks. I really appreciate that. You probably don't believe me but that was fun to write. I am very much a Polyanna in myself and it certainly does come out in my stories... at least in the outlook of the characters but life isn't about rose tinted specs and no one wears them for long. I wouldn't suggest you read any of my stories for light relief Absolutely don't read Love you Always The rest of them are kind of up and down and most of them turn out alright ... in the end Thanks again for reading and reviewing and I am really pleased you liked it... if that's the right word Date: 08/13/2009 03:31 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rilbur Wow. A fascinating story. I'm shocked Ian could get so close o Chris, but... It makes such wonderful drama. I'm just glad Chris got out! Date: 07/08/2009 01:07 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 Oh how clever of Chris! I suppose there was a camera somewhere in the room that fed into the boss's office and that's how she came along with police in tow. Quite a gripping story! As for the father? What an ass!!! Can I adopt Chris? Please?!?! hehe ~Rush~ Author's Response: Hehe..,, call it providence. Feel free to adopt him if you wish... I would be interested to know what becomes of him. I am quite fond of him although he has a bit of an attitude problem. Date: 06/16/2009 05:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: DragonFire This has to be the most disturbing story I have read in a very long time. Whilst I am in no way squeamish, this had me squirming in my seat. Certainly this is a story to read once, twice, umm, where did I put that Disney novel? ;p Author's Response: Thank you for taking he time to review. I do seem to do dark and disturbing... disturbingly well.... can't think why as I am such a Pollyanna Must be the darkness of my soul. Anyway... thanks again. Glad you liked the story. Date: 06/14/2009 05:06 PM

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, Well now! Where DO we start? I noticed that YOU started by letting Lucifer out of the bag in "Author's Chapter Notes". You truly do have a sense of humour! Neph, I went straight through this story w/o reviewing simply because each chapter ended with a situation REQUIRING the reader to continue. The most I had time for was to occasionally grab a(nother) cold one. heh And I found it quite entertaining when, in the middle of a witchcraft story, you have a main character *flip off* a fellow auto driver! THAT, Nephy, was priceless! I could go on and on about how much I loved this story--but I won't. But I DO want to thank you for that wonderful gift you use to describe the beauty, in detail, of your characters. Your readers have NO CHOICE but to fall in love with the people you describe so vividly. And about that horrible wreck in the middle of the story that you aren't happy with? It had to be something to do with the occult, because I never noticed the *bump* in the road. Thanks, Nephy!! Another DYNAMITE story! It blew me away. Author's Response: Thank you. I am so glad you continue to enjoy my work and fall in love with the characters. I love them all and at some point I think an orgy might be in order... Now ordinarily I don't think any of them would be interested in me but I AM the writer after all I would have liked to continue the story on for longer but I kind of ran out of steam. I think we havent heard the last of Nic and Sam though. and The Merlin is stil out there somewhere. He he. No one has noticed the huge mistake. I think I might start offering a prize Date: 06/24/2010 06:19 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Thank goodness they patched things up... Great ending... leaves a sequel open thanks for returning the faeries to their rightful place as difficult, not quite human, at times violent sexual and interfering, self-willed spirits... not Enid Blyton sweet nothings. Author's Response: And you didn't spot the deliberate (or not so deliberate ) mistake Haha. So glad you liked it and that you weren't too cross that it ended where it did. Yes, I want to continue it at some time and find out what happens when Nick confronts the queen and takes up his position at her court and there is also still a baddie at large who wants nothing more than to get even with Nick and Sam... also I haven't quite finished with Ariel yet. And as for the faeries... that's how they have always been to me so I couldn't write them any other way. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I means a lot Date: 02/14/2010 07:31 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Ariel's love and sadness is so beautifully put... I feel for him Author's Response: Ariel is one of my favourite characters. He is so much in love and yet he can never have what he yearns for... a real tragic character. He doesn't get bitter and the doesn't get mad and he never gives up his love even though he knows it can never be reciprocated. He shows true loyalty. There should be more like him Date: 02/14/2010 05:24 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor It is interesting that the gods and faeries humans experience, reflect so accurately the foibles of humanity... they are a mirror of ourselves. Such fine decsriptions... Author's Response: Thank you. I like descriptions... they are like the background to a tappestry, acting as a backdrop over which the chacters play. I have always had this feeling about the fey... that they are more like they were portrayed in legend... strong, haughty, fickle, tricky... just like nature.. like we were before we were 'civilised'...no to be trifled with... than the simpering sickly sweet little scraps of cuteness latterly portrayed. Thanks for reading on and commenting Date: 02/14/2010 05:12 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor This distrust of the fey, and their callousness is a very powerful element in the plot... preventing any possible slide into sentimentality. Author's Response: Oh to be sure there is nothing sentimental about my Fey. They are nature spirits and nature is not sentimental is it wild and often cruel but never evil. Glad you are still enjoying. Thanks so much for all the reviews Date: 02/13/2010 05:29 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor This wonderful combination of the ordinary and comfortable, and the magical world of incantations and transformations, spiked with gutter behaviour and language from Lucifer is a compelling mix... Author's Response: I love Lucifer... he is deliciously bad Date: 02/13/2010 05:15 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor How wonderfully Byzantine... I'm reminded of Dennis Wheatley... in a good way. Ah... the fragility of sweet Ariel, I fear for him Author's Response: Oh Ariel is not fragile... not at all He's an elemental after all I am completely blown away that you would compare me to Wheatley. Apart from his homophobia, racism and mysogeny he was an awesome writer I'm glad you're still enjoying Date: 02/13/2010 05:00 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor what makes you think that humanity holds the high moral ground?” Wow! got me going there... I do think the Queen has been rather foolish not preparing Sam... Author's Response: The Queen is .... the Queen. She doesn't think that she needs to prepare anyone for anything. She asks/tells/demands and it happens, simple as. The Fey are different. Not better, not worse, just different. They are arrogant, yes but it's an innocent arrogance that comes from absolute certainty... in themselves, in their lives, in their friends, in their world. She gets worse, trust me Date: 02/11/2010 04:45 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor “Ah... reputation. You should never pay too much attention to those... much better to make up your own mind." How true. Excellent descriptions. Author's Response: Thank you. I wanted to put a LOT of myself into this one.. my beliefs, ideals, thoughts... you know , one of THOSE stories. HEHE. Glad you are enjoying Date: 02/11/2010 04:29 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor As always, perfectly edited, flawless construction so it reads seamlessly. A pleasure to read and the story intriguing Author's Response: Thank you. That was a really nice thing to say I'm glad you enjoyed it.. Sounds like you didn't spot the deliberate mistake though I need betas I really hope that one day I will get the second half of the story. I have a feeling that Arial isn't finished yet. Date: 02/09/2010 04:51 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: bugeye I have a fondness for chapters that end this way. Emotions, wonderful and terrible. Makes you think, what would three rational beings do? Would they sit down and come up with a consenus? Is it a given? If you love someone you are going to hurt them? Author's Response: When it comes to love there is no such thing as a rational being. Love hurts, it makes fools out of us, it chews us up and spits us out...isn't it great Nick was a fool. He ran from what he thought he saw when he should have trusted Sam and given him the chance to explain. If there is no trust there is no love, at least ultimately. Because of that the worst happens and is relationship with Sam will never be quite the same again. Date: 09/08/2009 09:04 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: bugeye If you ask me, Nick needs Sam more than Sam needs Nick. Why. Sam is willing to give more... make a sacrifice, open his heart. Is that what it will take to save Nick from himself, from his mother. Maybe Sam loves more too? Author's Response: I think you are right. Nick may not have been brought up as a prince but nevertheless that is what he has been all his life. He can be selfish and, even though it is in the best possible way and that is going to cause some real trouble sometime soon. Sam has an enormous capacity to love which he finds hard to cope with some time. Ariel touches his heart although Nick posesses it. Is it possible to love two people? Sam manages it but no one else seems to understand. And that kind of relatonship always ends in tears. But which one will he choose... or will the choice be someone else's. Choices again. Sometimes we have them, sometimes not... it is surprising when it comes to love how choices often vanish very quickly. Date: 09/07/2009 11:26 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Nephylim Grrrrr. I posted a response and it seems to have vanished. Grrrrr. Anyway.... what I said was... as far a I can remember... which is not far these days... I like the way your mind words. Cake, chocolate and licking off frosting.. Yum yum. I totally agree with your cake choice... except that I would have allocated Ariel a meringue rather than a cupcake. Either way I would relish every bite, every mouthful. He is so my favourite character. And it is so typical of me, the way things go for him. Perhaps that is why I am alone, because I torture those closest to me... or maybe I write it that way becuase I CAN'T do it in my life... oooh deep and psychological. Let's get back to cake. Can you have your cake and eat it? Sam can't. Date: 09/06/2009 11:58 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: bugeye I like that Nick is a fey of mystery, like black chocolate rum cake with raspberry jam inside. And Sam is like pound cake, a solid foundation, a classic. They are different and yet they both make you want to lick cream frosting. And Ariel is my favorite cupcake. Lucifer would make a juicy eclair with hardball icing. I hope they have cake at the ball. Sorry the Queen is a cookie villian. Author's Response: Date: 09/05/2009 11:05 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: bugeye So cleverly written. You take the reader deep, deep. Total penetration. Body and mind. What a rich, luscious stroke. My, I am pleased with your efforts to take me into your world. What seduction. I just need more of it. Author's Response: Thank you so much. This was a strange one to write... maybe I put a little too much of myself into it Beware though, my world turns dark at the flick of a switch and once I get you in there I don't let go too easily. You are too kind you know, something you have accused me of before now I am thrilled, excited and bemused... what a great state of being. I have to put this story on the backburner for a time and work on the others because I came to the end of the inspiration. Once I get more I will write more and in the meantime I will continue to write the others and read. Date: 09/04/2009 01:13 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Conner As soon as Ariel started spouting Ecclesiastes in chapter 10, well, it wasn't brain surgury to guess what was comimg. The final scene between Ariel and Sam was unbelieveably moving. So was Nick's reaction to seeing Sam holding Ariel as inevitable as Ariel giving his life in love? I loved the way the fairy messenger kept saying, "The Queen anticipated this response...." That was funny. Author's Response: I thought I would prepare you with the biblical beginning. It's not often that anything biblical creeps into my writing but I thought it was a nice foil to all the magic and witchery. I'm glad you saw the humour in the messenger bit I wanted to relieve the tension a bit. Yes, I think that Nick's reaction was inevitable as I think I said in the story, from the moment Sam saved Ariel right at the beginning his death was inevitable but it needed to have some kind of meaning. Than you for continuing to read. I hope that there will be more. Date: 09/02/2009 09:05 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: taina1959 WOW!! Dam it woman!! You got my heart racing there at the end!! You ARE my GODDESS!!! Can't... Can't wait for the next one!!!! Can I sit on your lap and purr at you? Author's Response: Only if you promise to keep your claws sheathed.., especially when you read the next chapter as the temptaion is going to be great to stick them in my leg Date: 09/01/2009 06:40 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Conner I know a cliffhanger when I see one. Oh sure, now I have to wait. A marvelous story. Author's Response: A cliffhanger? Moi? Surely not. Don't worry you won't have to wait long. Almost finished Chapter 10. You might not like it though Date: 08/31/2009 07:53 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Conner Excellent chapter! The Queen has indeed played her hand poorly. Of course, I am but a mere mortal; what do I know? I think Nick has a bad case of reality overload. Fortunately, he has Sam. Author's Response: The Queen of the Fairies played her hand poorly? Tusk. Better watch out, she is not known for either her humility or her mercy. Next time you get your knickers in a twist better leave a token on the doorstep. And you NEVER want to piss off the hangover fairy. The Queen is used to absolute power and control... she has power, she has magic, she has just won a war. Why on earth would she even imagine that Nick would be upset by finding out that she is his mother. How dare he! I feel that there is trouble a brewing. Can a realtionship between any mortal/fey combination work out, let along a powerless witch and the (potential) King of the fey. And about that... where IS the King? Is there one? Can there be one? Can there be ONLY one? Hmmmm Date: 08/31/2009 07:18 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Conner A very sweet happy chapter. Alex kept saying what I was feeling. Author's Response: Ah, but you know me.... sweet and happy never lasts very long... kind of like life really Date: 08/29/2009 12:39 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Conner I'm just breathless. Author's Response: In a good way I hope. The story is just carrying me along. i have an idea for where the next couple of chapters are going but after that.... it's anyone's guess Date: 08/28/2009 08:40 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Conner Excellent chapter! Author's Response: Thank you. I am glad you are still reading. Date: 08/28/2009 07:37 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: bugeye It continues to entice. A word trap to be sure. Author's Response: It is going its own way, just like me. There is a lot of me in here... the magic, the mystery, the angst. I a way I am like Arial, at the mercy of my emotionm buffeted by the winds of my feelings, a butterfly with nowhere to rest. Beware though because those who fall into my traps do not often find honey... and what there is is likely to be drugged. Date: 08/28/2009 03:33 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Conner The closing scene was very powerful, unsettling for sure, but very powerful. I was reading as fast as I could but the scene still played out in slow motion. Author's Response: That is a wonderful thing to say, thank you. It was very intense to write. I have a 'thing' for neck biting and I wanted to highlight the perversion of the invasion of the party with what is a very intimate and sexual thing being perverted to the death. There is a very close connection for me between sex and death. Date: 08/28/2009 10:25 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Conner So, I have one question. Is this good feeling going to last very long? The joy and hope in Sam's heart must seem both exultant and tumultuous. Author's Response: Short answer.... no. They are queing for the roller coaster even as we speak. So far this has been a very gentle story for me and it is about to revert to form. Date: 08/28/2009 09:54 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: FishWings The atmosphere that your writing creates is wonderful. It's intense, it's calm, and it's full of sparks. It has a mysterious quality, especially when you're describing a character such as Ariel. Will definitely continue to read more : ) Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you are enjoying the story. I love writing it. And I really like Ariel. Date: 08/23/2009 05:26 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Conner I can't say why I chose this story to read first. You're working on several. Perhaps the title drew me in. My favourite bubble gum as a kid was called Double Bubble. hehehe While I admit that this reasoning lacks somewhat in literary content, I have not been disappointed. This opening chapter is simply enchanting. Bravo! Author's Response: It's as good a reason as any Thank you for looking in on my work and for taking time to comment. This is not my best but I think, at least for now, it is my favourite. I am putting a lot of myself into it. For the first time ever I am posting as I write it. No editing, no planning, just write it and post it. It's bit of an experiment but might just peter out in the end. I will do my best for that not to happen but you have been warned... Date: 08/23/2009 03:04 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 I like your restraint in writing about the supernatural. Writers tend to get carried away and give too much power to the main characters but there always needs to be some balance or consequence for every action. Have fun writing, but don't get too washed up in the excitement People like reading about a main character having all these hidden powers that are unknown to themselves, but they LOVE it when characters use their own courage with just enough power to endure the pain. Keep up the good work! Author's Response: Date: 08/21/2009 04:58 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: bugeye The way this chapter flows is seamless. The words work magic. What a tapestry of wonder. And the phrases... "Thoughts... like dead fish in a poisoned pond" just one of so many. I want to say this is the best, but I remember the last one too. If you keep this up I may just do things to you. Many naughty things. You are being so good. Author's Response: Promises promises I am glad you like the story so far, so do I. I wonder where it will end And, actually that phrase was one of my favourites too. I have no idea where it came from Date: 08/20/2009 11:38 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: thatboyChase Silver bells, a bow an arrow, perhaps some cold iron? I can't decide what I will use, these Fey's, can they even be trusted? I like it. I like the whole concept. I've never been one for Fey's or fairy's or that sort of thing. The human fairy and the magical, but I like what you've done so far. It gives me a light head, in a good way. Author's Response: Date: 08/20/2009 04:22 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: bugeye I really liked the excitement in this chapter. Everyone thinks they have control but the unexpected catches them every time. Nice, very nice indeed. Author's Response: Thank you. I never looked at it like that.. you're right. I suppose in some ways it was about control.... and the loss of it. I am really glad you are liking it. Date: 08/19/2009 04:17 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod An excellent marriage of magic and logic...just enough of each, and they complement one another nicely. Interesting characters, each with his or her own quirks. For something Nephylim says is still inchoate, it's brilliant. Author's Response: Thank you. My only objective for this story so far, apart from having great fun in writing it, is to use some of my own knowledge and interests to give it more... spice so to speak. Expect plenty more witchcraft, magic and darkness. Apart from that I have no idea what you can expect...it is still churning in the soup of my brain... I see a hand or an eye bob to the surface now and again and grab it then serve it up to you for your dining delight.. Pot luck what you get Date: 08/19/2009 02:01 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Fastreader Oh, Nephy! This is shaping up wonderfully and becoming quite the yarn! Author's Response: Thank you. I am really quite excited about this. I have NO idea where it's going so it's taking me on a huge adventure which I am spattering with my own interests and knowledge and a little bit... well a lot of magic. Wait until Sam finds out exactly who Nick is and what he can do... and Ariel is in for a real lollercoaster bless him... no idea where or what just yet Date: 08/18/2009 04:24 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Rilbur Silly Queen, she should have warned him before sending him out to do that. Another good chapter, and I'm looking forward to more! Author's Response: I am glad you are looking forward to more. This one is really flowing at the moment, although I still have no idea where it's going so any ideas would be welcomed Date: 08/18/2009 12:30 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: bugeye I like a cat who is a little too familiar and a shapeshifter to boot. And never young, never grow old boy/girl ariel. Will they team up with Sam to find Nick? Will it be a quest or a who done it? I see a lot of possibilities with Nick. It could go anywhere. So take me there, angel Author's Response: The possibilities are endless... like imagination. This is my fun story, my playing with reality story, my... just let it all out and fly story. Who knows where it will go? I certainly don't. Come fly with me. Date: 08/18/2009 12:44 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod Lyric writing. The initial touches of magic are just enough to lead us to believe the greater magic that is revealed as the story progresses. The gritty scene in the warehouse balances deftly the ethereal scene outside the hall, under the tree. The mystery is enchanting. Author's Response: Thank you for your comment. Part of what this story is about is balance and contrast... dark and light, good and evil, empemeral and mundane, magic and science. In one way the fey are the balance being neither dark or light and both, neither good nor evil, especially with their entire lack of morals, etc etc Date: 08/17/2009 05:22 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: bugeye I love what words do, obviously so do you. You could say you paint with them and sing with them and dance with them and oh my yes... you love with them. Author's Response: I do indeed. I love what words can do. The pen is mightier than the sword? Well, not in my hand but it has its own power. I pour out my soul in my writing and I love my characters, each and every one of them... some more than others of course... like people. Thank you for your review it is appreciated, Your words are beautiful Date: 08/17/2009 01:45 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Rilbur Twisty! I wanna see where this goes! Author's Response: So do I Date: 08/16/2009 09:09 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: thatboyChase Your style is not of this world, to me that is fantastic. Even as the tone was not as terrifying as your other work (which I have yet to fully read) and upon reading this I am going to dive into your other work soon! Anyways, I found myself glancing around every few paragraphs unsure if this ceremony was going on nearby or if I would be assaulted by magic. I love tradition, especially something ancient and powerful. It is the best kind of thing to describe. Magic is also a unique factor to this story, as is magic in any story. It can be the authors creation through and through and Nephylim takes it to a new level that scratches your bones and makes the hair stand up as your adrenaline pumps. Intrique with a devious plot line, feral grins and uncertain avenues of might and magic are abound! As an avid, nerdy magic lover, I cannot wait for more. Author's Response: Thank you chase that review was as fascinating as the story. The ritual was partly wiccan but based on my Druid heritage. There will be a lot more magic, both real and mythical and I am hoping to weave in some of my knowledge of herbs as well. I am sure Ariel has a lot to teach Sam and vice versa. Only the blend of the mundane and the magical can rescue the damsel (erm kind of) in distress and save the world. Date: 08/14/2009 06:51 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rilbur This looks like the start of an absolutely fascinating story! I can't wait to see what you've come up with! Author's Response: Neither can I. I only have two chapters so far so it could go anywhere. I am absolutely steeped in magic though so you can be sure that is going to be coming out in the melting put Date: 08/14/2009 06:25 PM

Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Vicky Terrific stuff Nephy. You are simply awesome. Author's Response: Well I'm not so sure about being awesome but I am very happy that you are enjoying this story. Date: 11/09/2010 01:26 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Vicky "I am not sure of anything, nothing at all, nothing except that I love him with all of my heart, even though I have never felt his lips on mine, never known the touch of his hand, I love him with every part of me and I would have suffered so much more than death to be with him." - just WOW !! :-) Author's Response: Thank you *blush*. Glad you're enjoying. Date: 10/27/2010 01:19 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Asusual,this was brilliant! Any chance of a sequel?? PLEASE?????? Author's Response: Thank you. I'm pleased you like it. I won't say there is a chance of a sequel and I won't say there isn't. I would have said that I would never write a sequel to any of my stories but I am writing one at the moment so anything's possible. Date: 10/24/2010 08:18 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Oh, wow. This just keeps getting better. Awesome. Author's Response: Thank you. I am really glad you are liking it because I love this story. It was the second one I posted (I think or it may have been the first) and I wrote it before I found the site. I was so excited that I had found somewhere to put it where people would read it. Date: 08/06/2010 03:07 AM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: phana14 GODS! I LOVE YOU!! I never really *hated* you, you know! It's just that I didn't KNOW that *God* was a woman! But I HAVE known all along that: NEPHYLIM IS AN ANGEL TO ME! Thanks Nephy, It seems like only a few minutes ago that I was looking over a boy's shoulder. A boy whose feet were only inches from the water and a big and bright silver reflection of the moon showed him the path his destiny was to take. THANKS! ten stars and i wish it could be a million! Author's Response: Oh WOW. Shucks... I'm no angel... well maybe a fallen one, a very fallen one That story is one of my faourites... hmm... I've been saying that a lot lately and it looks as if ALL of them are my favourite. However, this one holds a special place in my heart because it was the first one I ever wrote with a gay relationship in it and was the first one I posted here. And it was my first vampire story. So a lot of firsts. It was a wonderful review. All your reviews are wonderful reviews. thank you Date: 07/06/2010 02:19 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: phana14 GOD! I HATE YOU! Or do I? We'll see! Author's Response: Hmmm...now I wonder why that might be. What have I done? Date: 07/06/2010 01:52 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: phana14 I think that maybe the congregation was scared away a long, long time ago! Gods! You do so like to mix it up don't you, Neph? You must know that you are killing me here! Damn! Author's Response: Angels are awesome but definitely the things that nightmares are made for. Heaven and hell... where's the difference really? I'm sorry i'm killing you hun... but it's not you that's going to die... Date: 07/06/2010 01:01 PM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: phana14 I'm hearing a song from "Oklahoma"! (Oh! What a beautiful chap-ter--)etc Oh yes! We're alive again, Nephy! OMG YES! Thank yoooouuu!!! Author's Response: Ummm... Don't thank me just yet... like I say in the chapter notes... you can fly high but be careful who's waiting for you when you come back down. I'm afraid that these to have a ways to go yet before the end. Unfortuately we haven't seen the end of death yet. Date: 07/06/2010 12:24 PM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: phana14 It would all be so simple if I could just stop now and pretend that this is the end of the story. I could STILL clasify it as a fantastic work from our Nephy. (boy and boy live happily ever after). But you cannot allow that. p What I REALLY experienced in this chapter was a LOT of goosebumps! Truth be told, I really mean the last several chapters. "Together we soar,.....above the darkness and leave it behind." I would love to go with them but I seem to have misplaced my freaking wings! Author's Response: Mine too or I would lend you some The fact is that nothing ever ends happy ever after. The most we can hope for is happy for now and there are too many loose ends ever for that right now Date: 07/06/2010 12:00 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy-----? Play nice now! Author's Response: Play nice? what are you thinking man!!!! Don't worry. Death is only the beginning. Date: 07/05/2010 06:30 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, I couldn't read this chapter without your blessing. When you said it wouldn't be any ( ) than LIC I knew that I had to go ahead with it, and I did. And it wasn't so bad after all. So-sniff-we proceed. Author's Response: I told you it wasn't THAT bad... well except for Marc of course. This is the beginning of the end. Date: 07/05/2010 05:41 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, Thanks for the warning at the begining of ch12. I may very well take your suggestion seriously and skip it. I honestly don't understand why it is ALWAYS the sweetest and gentlest of the characters that have to suffer. I'm just about tired of drinking watered down salty beer--to say nothing of the damage to the keyboard. I trust you when you say that skipping ch 12 is ok, because the story so far is super exciting! Oh! One more thing. That tete-a-tete w/ Doug down below is absolutely hysterical!!! I've been laughing about that since last night! Author's Response: Hehe. Chapter 12 can be cut out. The following chapters will pick up the story without having to have the expicit details. Personally I think that the chapter is necessary for reasons that become clear later on. However, it's for the individual reader to choose. Having read LIC and survived I don't think that it will be too disturbing for you/ there's nothing in here that is more disturbing than that. Date: 07/04/2010 10:39 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: phana14 Ok, Neph, Commenting here. So far it has all of the earmarks of vintage Nephylim. And THAT in itself equals quite an excellent review! p Author's Response: Tee hee. 'Vintage' eh? Now I feel old Only kidding Date: 07/03/2010 07:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Doug Nice Author's Response: Cool Date: 05/16/2010 10:58 AM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Terpi I really enjoyed the story. Thank you. There are a number of unfinished things from it, and I can see the possibility of a sequel. Author's Response: Yeah I like to keep people guessing and give them food for thought. I have considered both a sequel and a prequel... would be interesting to explore Merticus a little more and what happened when Kai and Gabriel parted ways. Maybe I will do that. And then of course there is the matter of the war and of Kai returning to the castle whilst coming to terms with what happened and their ongoing relationship with the Malakh. Plenty of meat to flesh. My only problem is that I can only write what comes to me. If I sit down and say... okay I have to write about this or that then it doesn't work. I have to be inspired. I don't know if those things will ever be written, although if someone else wanted to do it I would be more than happy to read their ideas I am glad you liked the story and thank you for the review. Date: 03/24/2010 08:03 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Thomas Nealy I loved it. Is there a part 2? Author's Response: Really glad you enjoyed it. There is no pert 2 as yet but never say never eh? Thanks for the reviews/ Date: 03/21/2010 02:00 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Thomas Nealy Day walkers !!!! I love when day walkers are in vampire stories. Author's Response: Hehe. They're not precisely vampires though Glad you are still enjoying it. Date: 03/20/2010 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Thomas Nealy Sweet, I just got around to reading this. I have been trying to read it for awhile now. I'm glad i did, this seems like a great story. Author's Response: Thank you. I really enjoyed writing this. it was something of an experiment for me as these vampires are not the ones I know Date: 03/20/2010 09:15 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Forty-Two Just a few final responses: I understand the hesitation to go back and work on a story that is categorized as done and over with in your mind… but the true art of writing is rewriting, and the editing process can only serve to make good stories better. Letting the story run away with you as you are writing the first draft is awesome and you should just put down as much as you can. When you go back through and edit is what allows readers to engage with the story on the same level as you do. It's great that you have beta readers now, so you can go through a round of feedback before posting. I think it's awesome that you're revisiting this story and going to do some revisions! I can't believe I had such a strong impact! I truly think this will only strengthen you as a writer. And hellz yeah about creating a se/prequel! Moving forward and doing a direct sequel would be awesome, but so would going back and exploring Merticus, muahahaha! If you ever need to bounce ideas off someone or need another beta reader, I'd be glad to help! Definitely post your trilogy somewhere sometime. As much as I adore the hot gay lovin', don't turn the stories into something they were never meant to be just to suit this site. If you feel it's not appropriate to post them here, I'm sure there's somewhere else you can post them and just put links between them and To Have and To Hold. And hey, there's something I hadn't thought to ask before, what made you choose the title To Have and To Hold? Clearly the idea of eternal love and devotion to each other suits the story, but invoking the state of marriage can open a whole can of worms with gay rights and religious implications (especially in a story with angels) and such. Author's Response: Yeah you had a big impact. I thoroughly enjoyed your reviews and awaited them as eagerly as my favourite story chapters. I am working on lots of things at the moment and but I will definitely put a pre/sequel on my agenda for some point in the future. The title... hmm...to tell you the truth To Have and To Hold was a comment on the impermenance of love. That you can have but you can't hold. This really refers to Kai in that he has spent the whole story and before reaching for something that keeps slipping through his fingers. His initial friendship with Merticus, Gabriel, death, Marc... he thought he had Marc when he changed him but he kept slipping away from him... right until the end... and who knows what happened then. He couldn't even hold the one thing he thought of as being truly permanent in his life... being a vampire. Nothing lasts forever, nothing lasts... we can have but we can't hold. Mabe I should so a sequel... From this Day Forth Thanks for everything and I would dearly love for you to beta read by stuff I am sure that no matter what you would be thorough and brutally honest That's what I love about you Thanks for everything. Date: 03/02/2010 02:25 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Forty-Two Holy cow, how are there no reviews on the last chapter? C'mon people! Is there a length limit in these comment boxes? If so, I'm going to try and find it! "Saving the World is HARD" True dat yo. "It kind of makes sense." Lol, you are just daring your readers to defy you here, aren't you? "...you have a whole race of assholes to cut down to size…" YES! Ah, the Malakim are going to be SO annoyed with Marc's brassiness in their face all the time now. Ah... good ending. You're able to go back and forth between so many emotions that I really wasn't sure what to expect. I'm a little surprised that it ended on an upbeat note. I was fully prepared for Marc or any or all of the main characters to die, so much so that it's a wonder no one (good) ever did have a permanent death. The story was so coated in death that I did believe Marc was toast in the end, so good job for catching me with the fake-out! And yes, this story DEFINITELY begs for a sequel. And a prequel. Several of both, in fact. This could be a whole giant series if you really wanted it to be, so get writing already! A little part of me has died now that I'm done reading. Getting to the end of a good story when I've invested so much, it causes a mourning period. This only happens to me when I've really loved the story and have taken it in as a part of me. It has never happened with anything I've read online before, only professionally published novels, so in a way that's the highest compliment I can give you! So, I also took some running notes about the story as a whole as I went along. Here are my overall impressions: You have a very epic storyline. Somehow you managed to tell this grand, involved story arc without it being ridiculously long. Your readers may connect with your characters a little more if you slowed down the pace and stretched out character development, but I like the fast pace so much that stretching it out would probably cause more harm than good. When an author creates a world, I've heard it said that only 10% of that world actually makes it onto the page. Some books I've read, it feels like the author only created 15 or 20% of the world, and that if I asked any involved questions s/he wouldn't have any answers. With your story, I really feel that the 90% that is not being told actually exists (which is why it could turn into a series). It's evident in the little side characters like the scavengers, the mysteries of the night, energies, and different magical beings, the untold history and governance of the Malakim, and the hints that there is so much to the characters' personalities and long histories that is not being told. I think your characters would benefit from a little more show and a little less tell. You do have clear moments of epic demonstrations of love, but I'm referring more of the little things that shape the characters' individual personalities. You tend to tell the reader straight forwardly, "This is how X thinks," "This is the defining characteristic of X," "This is how X always handles a situation." It would be more natural and engaging if the audience can witness these traits for themselves instead of being told to accept how things are. From a purely grammatical point of view, the story could benefit from a final round of editing and polishing, especially now that it's been out there for a while and you've had time away to be able to come back and look at it with fresh eyes. There are a few tiny grammar errors and spelling mistakes that distract the reader, such as using "my" instead of "me", using periods instead of question marks, using both an exclamation mark and a question mark at the end of a sentence (sorry but you have to pick one or the other!), the odd missing line break, missing a quotation mark or having an extra one, that kind of stuff. I know I'm repeating myself but I have to say again: your long sentences could really benefit from being chopped up. Many times replacing "and" with a period is all that is needed. The dramatic moments would pop a lot more with shorter sentences and more punctuation. Ex. #1 "At the moment I can’t find a cure and unless I do it will kill you." This could read something like: "At the moment I can’t find a cure. Unless I do, it will kill you." Ex. #2 "Kai hugs me close and holds me so tight that I can hardly breathe but I don’t care, I want him to squeeze me this hard, harder still, so hard that he squeezes all the doubt and fear away but no one can squeeze that hard." This could read something like: "Kai hugs me close and holds me so tight I can hardly breathe. I don’t care. I want him to squeeze me this hard, harder still, so hard that he squeezes all the doubt and fear away. "But no one can squeeze that hard." Perhaps your more recent stories have already dealt with this issue, as I seem to recall something about you buying leashes for your run away sentences I will have to read them and find out! Your narrative language is much more poetic than the spoken language, especially in the first half before you settle into a groove for writing the story. This is fine for all the characters except Marc and Kai, as I've said before, it is sometimes strange that their inner voices and outer voices are so different. I'm sure everyone thinks and writes differently than they speak, as people form ideas and perceptions and opinions in their heads in a different way than they state them, and it does make sense that their speaking voices would be a little more casual and modern. But sometimes, especially after a long, dramatic, beautifully prose filled emotional monologue, it feels like being slapped with trucker tongue when they speak. (And I mean overall in general, not just the swearing.) I read some very good advice in a book on writing, about expressing the truth in one's writing. "When we put down feelings that aren't really true, but would please the reader, then we're not telling the truth. Later on, I started to see the difference between dramatic truth and the truth of life. We can use a dramatic truth, that is, an invented situation, when it makes the work stronger, when it adds to the narrative drive of the story or novel." One of the reasons I respect this story so much is that you tell the truth. In my mind, this is the single most important aspect of good writing. Usually stories that are focused on intense love and angst are not my cup of tea as I find them too overly dramatic and soap opera-y, but this story is so honest I couldn't help but get into it. The sincerity, heart, and soul of your characters and their trials is clearly visible, and that is the reasoning behind me saying, "I love this story." I'm glad that I've read some of your older stories before moving onto your newer stuff. This way I'll really get a sense of how you've evolved as a writer. I have very high expectations for whenever I get around to starting the next story, so I hope you don't let me down! Finally, thank you so much for sharing your story and yourself with the public and with me. You've been very brave to put something so close to your heart out there for all to see and judge. I look forward to our conversations in the future! Author's Response: Gosh I'm scared now That was some high praise and expectations there. I hope that I have evolved but I know I still have flaws.... heck I need those leashes. Although I try to keep the advise in mind my problem is that when I am immersed in the story I'm in there and it's not just the sentences but the whole story that runs away with me. Your comments and advice are so appreciated and, know what. Thanks to you I will go back and revise the story and I will think of a se/preqel. The idea of writing more about Merticus in particular appeals I have written about the war of the Malakh elsewhere from other vampires' point of view. In fact I have a trilogy. Hmm... maybe I will post them at some point. Have to write in some hot gay love just to make them suitable for here I am so glad you liked the story and I too look forward to discussing another one in the extreme hope that I don't disappoint. Date: 03/02/2010 01:36 AM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Forty-Two I think you are right, that the change in inner voices of the characters is a combination of you evolving as a writer and of the characters evolving. Marc does become stronger and in becoming a vampire and a Malakh it makes sense that he would starting thinking more like Kai (and he even starts talking like the Malakim). It's a very delicate balance to show these changes without muddling Marc's character with the others, but I'm sure if you focus and polish you can get it just right The biggest difficulty for you is that, as you say, the characters live in you and you know them a million times more intimately than your readers do, so all the tiny nuances that definitively define the characters for you aren't obvious to your readers. Because of how you see the characters, it's very hard for you to see how others view them, and therefore it makes it much harder for you to tell whether their voices are similar or stand out from each other. (I've had this type of problem myself many times, especially when someone makes a comment on a character and I'm flabbergasted that they just didn't understand what I thought was blatantly obvious. I know exactly what you mean about having the characters live in you. When I am deeply involved in a story, the characters speak through me and I am utterly in love with them and become fiercely protective of them.) I also think part of the issue is that your story and characters evolve really fast. So many things happen in such a short time that it is sometimes hard to remember just how much they have changed and to keep that in mind when they act or sound different. Maybe one way for you to assess yourself is to pretend that instead of alternating chapters, any chapter could be narrated by Marc or Kai. Look at the chapters in a random order and ask yourself, how long does it take from the beginning of each chapter for the reader to tell who is narrating? As much as I love this site, this is not the be all and end all of e-fiction. I'm sure if you wanted to share your other stories, there are other more suitable places to publish them. Seeing how deeply involved in the Malakim you are, I really think your other stories must be fascinating and readers on the web would be lucky to have them Okay, chapter 22: "There are shadows everywhere here, which is strange because it is such a light bright place…" Ah, yes, there cannot be one without the other. The balance between light and shadow has always fascinated me. It is such a simple bit of imagery and metaphor but can take on so much meaning. This chapter really solidifies Kai and Marc's characters… Marc is insanely strong as you have been saying all along, and Kai still has that childlike quality, wanting to run and hide and unwilling to sacrifice Marc or his own happiness … And then Kai finally realizes that one of the curses of being immortal is that you CAN'T hide from the world, you'll always live to see the consequences of your action or inaction. "She holds it out, hilt first to Kai…" *gasps* God incarnate, you are a cruel bitch. I was a little confused as to why Gabriel was sucked into limbo with them at first. It seems like he's not special enough to be involved, like he's intruding on Marc and Kai's final big moment. But, as I read, I see how much sadder it would be for Kai if Gabriel wasn't there to support him. This was a very gripping chapter… I couldn't stop much because I was so involved in the story. I'm always so impressed when you pull out the dramatic twists! Must needs to find out the end! Author's Response: Yes... I see what you mean. I will try doing that. The problem I have with changing a story is that when it's out and done it's over. I mean I do go back and read it sometimes but it's like having a child... you can't go back and change its nose because you think it's not right after a time. I don't know... maybe I'll make an exception because I really do like this story and your point is absolutely valid. When I wrote this story I was working completely alone. I have now found some friends who kind of beta and edit for me so I have another's perspective before I finish. I think this is the very thing that they are doing for me, and it's awesome that you have taken your time to do it with this story. Yeah... Gabriel had his use. There was no way that Kai was going to be able to take that last step no matter what Marc said to convince him. It had to be Gabriel As matters have developed Gabriel has become fonder of Marc but he still has the distance to be able to do what needed to be done. Hey... odd coincidence but I suppose that is exactly what I have been saying above about the story Date: 03/02/2010 01:31 AM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: Forty-Two "He has my attention... oh so fast." You didn't used to narrate like this (there are other stylistic changes I could go back and find if you really wanted me to); it seems that your style of writing has evolved a little as you wrote the story, especially through the last few chapters. I think this is a common thing that happens in long stories, as the author gets more familiar with writing the story. Marc used the "oh so" phrase in the previous chapter, and it seems that their inner voices are getting more similar. Changing the narrator every chapter is very effective, but you want to make sure that each character has his own voice and it isn't simply a change in perspective. If one can't distinguish the characters' voices, the change in perspective might as well be done in limited third person where the narrative voice is expected to remain the same. I'm always happy and surprised when Marc takes control and is so standoffish to those who have great power or stature over him. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this by now. I suppose Marc's weaker moments stay with me more than his stronger moments for some reason, making me always underestimate him. The description of the city and what the different classes imply… there is so much more to your world than you are telling us. I can tell already that the end of this story will beg for a sequel. Author's Response: Hmmm.... I wonder if that is the case... that I developed as a writer as I went on in the story. I hope so. Or maybe it's the characters who develop and change with the experiences they have... or maybe it's both. My characters live for me in the time I am writing them... completely. I know them as well as I do myself... and I certainly don't write them as myself... hmm if that even makes sense. I get what you are saying absolutely about making the character voices different. In my head they are very very different, at least at the start. Marc is so wide eyed and innocent but he changes very fast. He IS very strong when he lets himself be and the changes that have been wrought in their basic vampire makeup with the addition of the Malakh blood makes them absolutely unique. There is no one else in creation like them (as far as we know) and that uniqueness is changing them, giving them experiences that no one else has ever had. Marc has already 'died' twice and that is so much going to change him. I wanted them to grow more alike as their uniqueness to everyone else became more pronounced but it is important that I show Marc to be surprisingly strong becuase.... well you'll have to wait and see. However, having said that I really don't want to have slipped into the trap of making them so much alike that their voices blur. They are still very much their own people. The world of the Malakh is one that is very 'real' to me and they crop up all over the place in other stories. I have a whole series set in and around that world but they were all written long before I came here and are almost exclusively heterosexual so I suppose I will never publish them... that's okay though I write only for myself and when I share with others, especially when they like it then it is an enormous bonus but something that I value and treasure as opposed to something I need. Having said that you are not the first person who has suggested a sequel so that very well might be on the cards for the future... who knows. You might change your ming though... by the end Thank you so much for sticking with this and for still thinking of something constructing to say after such a long journey. Your reviews make my day Date: 03/01/2010 04:06 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Forty-Two I completely agree about needing criticisms to grow as a writer. The problem is, a lot of people can't take them or don't bother to give them any real consideration. I'm really glad you spend so much time engaging with your reviews and take advantage of what the process is really meant for. I always feel a little insulted if the author doesn't comment or at least say thanks for a review. Thinking about the dream again, when the subconscious is trying to tell us something it does often take a few times for the message to get through. Especially when we don't want to or are afraid to accept what it is trying to tell us. After what Marc went through, it does make sense that he either went completely calm or completely insane. Completely calm was the better choice Kai definitely had more legitimate reasons than most for passing out, I'll give you that The combination of all his emotional stress plus the sex does make more sense than a scene where the passing out is just based on a "mind blowing" orgasm. Writing the characters' speech as you speak… I noticed you reflected your own views about coffee into Marc's opinion of it too. All authors put bits of themselves into their characters - I think it's impossible not to - and there's absolutely nothing wrong with this. It's probably what makes good characters feel real. Just be careful of restricting your characters within the boundaries of what you as a person think, do, feel, or say. I had a bad experience with boot sandwiches one time. Egg salad, forgot it was there… :S I've always loved the concept of having a hidden blade in the toe of your boot, pop it out and give your enemy a good roundhouse kick to the temple… only problem is then you have some guy's head impaled on your foot It would be bad if they were seen flying, but then again, they're vampires. How are the men in black suits going to find them? And if they do, Marc and Kai could kick their asses I do get the reasoning that it's a little scary and overwhelming for them to indulge in it too much and they don't need to make themselves any more of a target to other supernaturals than they already are. And yes, it's very rare for me to say detail should be added to a scene. I usually feel everything should be as concise as possible so that the plot moves forward and narrative tension keeps up. It certainly doesn't need hundreds of words added. If you did rewrite it and you did get any reviews about the scene being too long, I will hunt down those reviewers and attack them with my mouldy boot sandwiches for you Onto the actual review for this chapter: It's good to see that Marc has learned that running away doesn't help. I was wondering how you would deal with people seeing the wings. That they're always there but hidden from sight is a good compromise between wearing a trenchcoat to hide them and having them magically disappear when not needed. In the section back at sanctuary, there were a few lines of speech where at first it was hard to tell who was speaking. I didn't like having to read a few lines and then puzzle out who must have said what. Especially when a big group of people are in the conversation, it would read a little easier if you indicated in some way who was speaking more often (certainly adding "X said" after every line would get a little dull). Poor Marc, first his body is raped and then his soul… Will he ever get a day of peace? There's something I love about angels being menacing and acting like big, self involved pricks. They're immortal and practically omnipotent, of course they would have giant egos and think everyone should just do what they say! This is a quality that like so much among the angels in Supernatural. It's fun to hate them! Author's Response: I read over the part you mentioned and I see exactly what you meant. It is something that I am a lot more aware of now than I was at the beginning. I think that reading other people's stories help a lot. I see things that I dislike in other people's work that I then look out for to avoid in my own... and I see things that I like in other people's work that I seek to include. One of the great things about a site like this is that there are bad with good, mistakes and experiments that help you spot the traps and difficulties in your own stuff. Marc is strong... and all is not as it seems as I am sure you will by now have found out. My favourite kind of boot knife is not the one that flips out of the toe... that makes for thick soles which are not always a good idea and are a bitch to get back in again especially if, as you say they have a head impaled on them.... no mu favourite are the little throwing darts that are stored in channels down the side. One flick and they're in your hand... you can store far more that just one per boot... and when you're done you can retrieve them and put them back (after wiping them of course as blood is corrosive) I have a long association with Malakh and believe me they can be self absorbed opinionated pricks... but you gotta love them Date: 03/01/2010 04:05 PM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: Forty-Two "We are slick with the foul green ichor and his sodden bandages trickle down my back as he hugs me. I pull away." I really like the wording here. Oh how I love shower sex scenes. Something about the tight quarters and clean, running water… always so much fun They're getting quite wild! I know I've said it before, but this is a section that has quite a few of those really long sentences that can bog down the action. I really like the variety in your sex scenes. It would be much less exciting if every one read the same way. Kai, I realize you are aware, but I can't help scorning you for passing out. I know it's a style thing, but I just can never accept passing out after orgasm. I'll repeat what I said before about the swearing, too. A lot of the time it just doesn't seem to quite fit with the tone of the rest of the story. The way Kai describes the sex in his head just doesn't really mesh with him swearing profusely about it. There may be a better way to show he is flabbergasted. His boots hold secrets? *ponders* "'…until I unperfect myself again.' He frowns. 'I don’t think that was a real word…'" Lol This is the first time they are FLYING in reality and they are exhilarated, therefore I feel this moment should be stretched out a little more, that their euphoria should be described in a bit more detail and they should stay in the air a bit longer. "...filled with a peace so profound and so deep that it is holy." Again, really nice wording. Still enjoying it a lot, alas, I didn't have much time to read tonight. I will try to get a little more done tomorrow before I am internetless for the weekend. Author's Response: This one really made me think. I have done some research and it is more common than you might think to pass out during orgasm. It's about the sudden rush of blood away from the brain. In this case there was a lot more than just sex involved it was overwhelming emotion and release too.Only a short time before he had thought Marc was dead and it was only really when they had sex that he started to believe fully that he was alive and well again... the relief was enormous. I think that all of it added together makes a bit of swooning legitimate. I completely get what you are saying about the swearing but I write it as I speak it. I suppose that says a lot about me If it were me I would probably have sworn even more :P Don't everyone's boots hold secrets? You know hidden compartments with coiled wire, throwing knives... ninja stars:) oh and the odd snack or two... boot sandwiches are awesome... or so I've heard I would have liked them to fly around for longer but they were scared they were going to be seen. I mean how would you explain that to the men in black suits who would be knocking on the door the next day? The whole thing was kind of scary too and it freaked them out as much as it exhilarated them. Maybe I will go back and write a bit more into that scene just for you... then have reviews about how I strung it out too long Hey... you read at your own pace hun... as much as I enjoy your reviews at the end of the day you read for you not me Date: 02/26/2010 01:50 AM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Forty-Two You're absolutely right about the effects of the internet. One does have to be careful about those who fall prey to John Gabriel's Greater Internet f**kwad Theory, which states: normal person + anonymity + audience = Total f**kwad. I don't think I've ever had someone thank me for pointing out their flaws before I am glad you engage with my criticisms and find them useful (and I often agree with and/or understand you when you defend yourself). Usually when I write a review I try to do the comment sandwich thing, with a compliment at the beginning and end as the bread and the criticism being the meat in the middle. But since I'm commenting on every chapter and know you're going to engage with pretty much everything I say, you're just getting my random thoughts as I go along with no governing whether they be complimentary, critical, or just plain ridiculous I want to feed your brain, write a sequel or a prequel for sure! Evil characters are so much fun! You could even do a whole story from Merticus's perspective where the audience gets to indulge in rooting for the bad guy. That would be AWESOME! (He could even fight ninja vamps ) Onto the real review: Oh crap. I read the whole thing and didn't have anything to say! Ummm… time to go back and be nitpicky. So what is your reasoning behind Marc having the dream? He's had the vision of the cliffs before and after talking to Shade he should have figured out what he has to do. The dream pushes him towards full realization, but it almost feels like we've been falling off the edge of the cliff with him so many times already. The dream is described in detail so we can see how close it is to what actually happens after, but maybe it wouldn't feel so much like reading the same thing twice in a row if you vagued up the dream a bit. The sex part is somehow still has pretty sexy moments even though it is described in the general, dream-like state Marc experiences it in. I'm actually surprised that Marc is so calm throughout all this. I would have thought that he'd be very indulgent and emotional. Author's Response: I so love that equation... and it is sooooo right I am surprised that you have never had anyone thank you for pointing out their flaws. No one is ever going to grow if they only have praise. As an author I appreciate cryticism and even take it on board sometimes As a person, of course I prefer praise, who wouldn't... it's the self indulgent part and when you create something you are invested in it. On balance I like the sandwich Having said that I love the randomness of your comments it makes them so much more natural and honest. The thought of a story from Merticus' point of view is scary. Do I really want to get into that mind? Intriguing though I will write it if it comes to me. That's the only way I can write... if it is presented to me. The reasoning behind the dream is that it keeps pulling and he keeps pulling back. It's giving him a message he is failing to hear and it's pulling him closer every time, getting more insistent and therefore more intense. It is of course, coming from him, from his subconscious which knows what he is supposed to do but, as we often do he is suppressing and rejecting it because it scares him and he doesn't understand it... yet. Yes, Marc is calm I think it is becuase he had completely resigned himself to the fact that he was dying. Everything happened so fast, it's only days since his change and he's been stabbed, found out he is different from everyone else, killed someone, was raped, found out he was poisoned and dying, ran away, was found....and it was all too much so he just shut down. On top of all that he is being tormented by an incrediblly vivid and scary dream that he knows at some point is going to take him further than he is comfortable with going. I think it was either submerge in the unnatural calm and detached state or go totally insane. Date: 02/26/2010 01:48 AM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Forty-Two At this point I am fully expecting character death for Marc… But I am also expecting some kind of rebirth. (Have sex and jump off the metaphorical cliff already, get your wings!) Ah, dammit, you made me predict again! “Beth. Stop talking now. You are making me want to kill you.” AWESOME frankness! (And good use of short, snappy sentences for dramatic impact!) Good use of repetition when you describe the house with multiple "ordinary"s and then contrast it with the "extraordinary". It's these little bits of stylistic writing that make me enjoy your prose so much! "We don’t speak, not with our voices or our minds, only with our eyes. With our eyes we speak volumes and it is all poetry." *Tear* Aw, just beautiful. As Kai tells Marc what happened, I actually wish there had been more actual contact (in this story) with Merticus. His character is so twisted, so intriguing. I love the blend of childlike innocence and that unreasonable want mixed with psychopathic tendencies. Oh, Gabriel was such an ass! No wonder his character has had to work so hard at redeeming himself. Really good descriptions of Marc's physical state - the way he looks with his illness is very easily visualized in my mind. Such a touching and poignant chapter ending! Gah, I always have to stop on the big cliff hangers! Oh well, I like having the excitement to look forward too! I'm just loving this story more and more! (Look at all these exclamation marks!) Will be back soon! *grins* Author's Response: I am SO glad that you are enjoying the story. Yeah... I was quite fond of Merticus too in a strange twisted kind of way Sometime the bad guys can be even more fun to write. Actually, thinking about it, it might be fun to go back and write Kai's story, then we get to see more of Merticus and the sneaky, charming, manipulative side of him... hmmm... food for thought. I was thinking of writing a sequel too... so there's lots of food for thought... I like. Poor Marc is sinking fast and Kai is having a hard time accepting it no matter what he says. Beth is an awesome character. I like to have one character who is completely honest and childlike. She's a foil against which other characters, mainly Marc can play. It is so liberating to be able to write someone who not only gives but takes complete bluntness. I really enjoy your reviews and I am SO glad you like the story... already said that didn't I... oh well use of repetition to make a point Date: 02/25/2010 01:14 AM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Forty-Two You do a good job of making me understand both Kai and Marc's perspectives as the chapters switch back and forth between them. The last chapter, I felt so bad for Kai and was completely sympathetic that he wished he had seen Marc and been there to support him. Now I feel completely sympathetic with Marc, almost believing that he's right by saying it's better in the long run to stay away from Kai. Marc's blankness is easy to identify with. I feel the numbness he describes… and therefore have few things to say on it. It makes perfect sense why he is feeling this way, but again, because his character is showing a lot of weakness it makes it harder to sympathize with him. As emotional and touching as Beth's story is, I can't help but feel she is purposely using it to manipulate Marc into letting Kai be there for him. ...Ah, yes she is. Author's Response: Of course she is, she's a woman Seriously... she's a friend and she is on the outside looking in... seeing the wood for the trees so to speak. Ok she's trying to achieve what she thinks is the best for Marc but she's sincere in that. Both characters have been stripped down and made weak in these chapters. I hope that in the following ones I achieve the building back up again. Date: 02/25/2010 01:14 AM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Forty-Two I really enjoy your chapter titles. They are honest, set the mood for each chapter, and very suited to each chapter. I tend to just name my chapters with numbers because I find thinking up good chapter titles that aren't too obvious very hard! Oooh, parallelism between Kai's distant past and Marc's near past (May and Beth seem to be playing similar roles in relation to Kai and Marc, too)… Merticus is (was) just a little shit disturber, isn't he? “If he is anything like me then he will be running directionless, not towards anything, just away." They ARE a lot alike in this regard! I enjoyed that Kai got physically sick because he talks about his ridiculously strong love for Marc and talks about his emotions a lot, but this a moment where you are showing us just how strongly he feels instead of just telling us. "Am I alright? No, I’m not bloody well alright, I will never be alright, never ever again. What a stupid f**king question." I know this is meant to be taken seriously and is part of a very dramatic moment, but I can't help smiling at Kai dishing out the sass in his head to May. This section is the first moment I feel a little distaste for Kai's character. I enjoy drama, but I don't like over-indulging in angst. When I follow a character, especially one who is narrating in first person, I won't continue to read the story unless I have respect for the character. Giving up, collapsing, and whining about how life is so hard are not qualities I respect in a protagonist. I also felt this way a tiny bit when Marc decided to run, but his actions are more understandable because of what he's been through. I'm certainly not saying, "Oh I hate Kai now, bah on you!" or anything like that. Characters would not feel real if they didn't have flaws. I just hope that he accepts his emotional shock, realizes he's being self-defeating, and pulls himself together soon. When Kai explains to Gabriel why he's in love with Marc, how Marc has changed his view of the world and who he is, this is your best "confession" moment so far, the only "I love him with all my soul" monologue that isn't peppered with just a little too much indulgence. When Kai tells Gabriel he will help back at the castle after he has worked out the issue with Marc, this is repetitive for the audience. May said she was going to relay this message to Gabriel. It makes sense for Gabriel to come in and talk to Kai, but their whole conversation should be different than the one between Kai and May. Despite their past and Gabriel's self serving intentions, he's doing a good job of redeeming himself by being kind to Kai. Author's Response: I do have a tendency to lapse into the dramatic angst. As a person I have my emotions very close to the surface so that's the way I write and I appreciate that my characters lapse into heavy duty angst at times In this chapter Kai does fall apart completely but I think that everyone does that now and again. He can't be strong all the time and there is history with Gabriel that feeds into that. Gabriel reminds him of a time when he was at his lowest and he brings that emotion back into the present. Does Gabriel redeem himself. In one way he has nothing to redeem himself for. He has acted true to character which, okay is somewhat arrogant although that is something that is a product of who he is and who he was. But he has never done anything deliberately cruel. And he did and does love Kai. He's being true to himself I think. I love the reviews where you point out flaws because they are useful and don't feel so self indulgent Date: 02/25/2010 01:13 AM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Forty-Two Glad you liked my rap (I have a bad habit of parodying songs. Thank you Vanilla Ice and TMNT 2) I was actually a little embarrassed after I posted it, but hey, writing ridiculous stuff and posting it online is what these sites are all about! Glad you're enjoying my reviews! I actually get quite excited to see your replies! The Olympics have been taking up a lot of my free reading time, otherwise I'm sure I'd be done by now! I should have said in more detail before: I expected Beth to be killed off in chapter 11. After getting us attached to her in the previous chapter it would have been a hard blow to see her killed. You'd have set the audience up perfectly to knock them down. I was glad she kicked ass in chapter 13 though! So, comments for this chapter: • It was cool that we could tell it's Beth talking by her saying, “That’s sarcasm isn’t it? Even I recognized it that time.” • I find that Marc's agony is this chapter is more poignant than when he was actually being raped in chapter 12. The way he describes feeling dirty and broken and how he's too ashamed to see Kai resonates more strongly for me than when he was being hurt. I feel more pity for him here. I'm not sure exactly what makes me feel that way though… • I wonder if Merticus has actually changed Marc in some physical way, left a piece of himself or something behind (or if the snake demon venom had a lasting effect), or if it's only the emotional damage that Marc is holding within himself. • I feel very sad that Marc gave up… but Darian is right. It is probably a very natural reaction for Marc to feel this way right after the event. • He feels dirty and wrong and you mentioned a sexy shower scene… I predict Kai will help cleanse Marc physically and emotionally sometime in the future (Ah, I actually made a prediction!) • Tisk tisk, Marc! You're acting like Kai, running away! Kai hunted down his mortal enemy in broad daylight, so you know he's going to chase you. Author's Response: I think that Marc WANTS Kai to find him. He thinks he doesn't but really he does. He's the classic wild animal crawling away into a hole to die. Whether that is a real death or a spirit death is a matter of perspective and he's weak and slightly self pitying at the moment. Ok so Marc indulges in the drama a bit but then he's been hurt and people are like that. You shouldn't have been embarassed with your rap, it was fun. Unexpected and amusing. I think you are right. Some people use the internet to hide who they are and for some it just amplifies their personality. It certainly strips away the inhibitions and lets you take more chances, which is a good thing I think. You just have to be a little more careful to spot the game players. Unfortunately I have never learned the rules so I am kind of blundering through but having a lot of fun while I'm doing it As always your review was delightful, very detailed and useful Date: 02/25/2010 01:12 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Forty-Two Perhaps when Kai sets off you should mention he brought a sword with him. It just seems to pop out of nowhere after he's already fought a bunch of people. Caustic blood, nice, upping the ante. Again, I like being teased, this time about what happened between Kai, Gabriel, and Merticus. Keep the mystery going! I sense trickery in the midst… venom + feeding + rape = brainwashed Marc? Or just a scarred Marc? As with all pompous jerks, Merticus turns into a coward as soon as things don't go to plan. It is quite the dilemma, what to do after your nemesis is gone? And clearly Merticus isn't the big evil for this whole story as I was expecting, since there are ten chapters left. Hmm… The malakim must take on a large role in the future. This chapter kept up the tension, great job! Can't wait for more I will continue reading soon. Author's Response: I'm glad you're still reading. Your reviews are by far the most detailed and interesting of any I have. I am excited when I see one. I'm so glad you like the story I think I would be scared if you didn't Yeah... there is history alright and it will come out soon. As for what Merticus did to Marc... he was eeeevvviiilllll. Date: 02/24/2010 01:46 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Forty-Two I wasn't expecting Merticus to look so cute and preppy. It only makes him more interesting. It's easy to spot and hate the dark haired man with the goatee and black hat. It's much more horrific to be tortured by a guy who looks friendly and nice. I'm glad to see Marc still being cheeky and sarcastic, even though he's captured. I'm curious about the snake demons. Purely minions or do they have something to gain from this? I worry that Merticus will gain some kind of power from drinking Marc's blood. I had almost forgotten about Beth when Marc realizes he's drinking from her. I think the mental anguish in this chapter is more significant than the physical pain. That Marc has hurt his friend is a sharp blow. It's even worse that he is physically freed but too weak and helpless to do anything about it. Author's Response: Oooh the snake demons are evil. Merticus is in for a big shock. Glad you liked this chapter. More excitement to come. Date: 02/24/2010 01:45 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Forty-Two Ah yes, they did go out in the sunlight, therefore not ninja vampires (I blame my tiredness for overlooking that little detail - SOMEBODY'S story was too good to let me go to sleep ). But I agree ninja vampires sounds like fun! *Yo, it's blood sucking fiends. Gonna drain you dry without being seen. Ever seen a ninja vamp at night? Killin', spillin' at the speed of light. Yeah, everybody better run. Nephylim is here writing bloodthirsty fun. Gonna prowl and stalk the street, with the cunning of the ninja vamp technique. Swords and stars aren't for playin', devastate the foe while the Malakim are sayin': Ninja vampire rap! Ninja vampire rap! Go ninja vamp, go, go! Go ninja vamp, go, go!* Oh my, sometimes people just shouldn't let me speak… Anyway, onto my observations for this chapter: At the opening I worry for Beth. If the kidnappers brought Marc out into the sun, would they have taken Beth out to burn? Ah, enter the human daytime gophers. Even though it is self serving, it's nice to see Gabriel doing the right thing and being hospitable about getting Marc back. At the top of the last section you should mention that it is Gabriel talking to Kai. It is easy to figure out after a little while, but the conversation would read better if you're not guessing who is talking for the first couple of lines. I love all the unresolved sexual tension between Kai and Gabriel. I almost feel that Kai shouldn't be so standoffish. Instead of going on about how wonderful Marc is, you could possibly tease the audience a little more with the temptation for Kai to go back to Gabriel. In any case, Kai's speech is a little too long and detailed. He's really said all that needs to be said by the time he states, "that died a long time ago." The rest is a little too much of explaining every tiny detail and thought and possibility. Author's Response: I LOVED your rap... how awesome was that!!! I will HAVE to write a story about them one day As I have said Kai has a lot of history with Gabriel some of which is coming out soon Your comments are always very valuable and I do go overboard with the emotion and the long speeches sometimes... but then so do people Date: 02/24/2010 01:41 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Forty-Two Ah, so there IS a reason why Kai is taking so long to heal. It seems that just being exposed to Salem has made Marc able to see and interpret things he hasn't before, such as the energies. Our little demonic angel is a fast learner, isn't he? Now this sex scene is less euphemisy. Even though the word choices are less poetic, I still find it easier to read. Although for the purposes of narrative consistency you may want to choose one style or the other. Grr, what happens when Marc goes over that chasm? I guess I will have to keep reading to find out... And here Kai goes again, wanting to run and hide… Nitpicking again - "I accept the coffee mug she hands me and sip. It is strong and black and, although that is not how I usually take my coffee, it tastes good. To be honest, I am too distracted to notice much." He just gave a lot of description for being too distracted to notice. To me it seems that he should either bask in the coffee or ignore it, not both. Ninja style? Go ninja vampires, go, go! Lol Good idea posting the links. I quickly skimmed both. I feel it would take hours to properly understand, but I get the general idea now Can't wait to read more... tomorrow (checks time) er, later today. Author's Response: Ninja vampires? Out in the daylight? Maybe not. Although ninja vampires do have a kind of appeal. I used the description of the coffee because I love strong black coffee and would never be too distracted to savour it therefore if he failed to do so he must have been VERY distracted I have deliberately tried out different styles of describing sex... wait for the shower scene ... becuase this was the very first time I had ever written gay sex scenes. It was important that the first one was very emotional and 'inner' because of the nature of what was happening around them and Marc was very much internalising. This time not so much Date: 02/23/2010 01:19 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Forty-Two Wow, I really didn't stop reading to comment much here. Guess that just shows you how engaged I was I know very little biblical lore. I immediately looked up the term "Malakim" because I couldn't wait for you to explain. Due to the summary and chapter title I'm not surprised they are a kind of angel. That Malakim cannot fall, have no demonic counterpart, gives great insight into where this is going… Author's Response: Do you think so? The Malakh are very close to my heart so don't expect anything too biblical from them. Date: 02/23/2010 01:15 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Forty-Two Kai is still so weak? It seems like he is taking a long time to heal, even for a vampire. Perhaps it is to purposely show how remarkably fast Marc can heal. The three vampire clans makes me think of the vampire courts in The Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher. I haven't read as far as I'd like in that series, but when I do it would be interesting to compare similarities and differences. Ooh, I was not expecting Gabriel to be THAT powerful. Here comes the nitpickiness again - "I was with him for almost precisely one hundred and twenty four years." This word choice is odd. "almost precisely" is contradicting itself. I'd simply pick one or the other. Ah Marc, how naïve you are to have not realized Kai is centuries old… In so many ways Kai is also still a child, a spoiled child, falling blindly in love and running when things don't go his way. Again he wants to run, as in the last chapter we saw how much he wants to ignore his responsibilities and the dire situation around him and just indulge in Marc. Go Marc for being a cheeky bastard to Gabriel! *grins* Author's Response: Yeah... I had to do something to piss off Gabriel he's too used to power not to be challenged on it somehow and Marc is the perfect person because Gabriel has a reason to dislike him from the start... Kai. Also Marc has that kind of personality. He challenges everything. Date: 02/23/2010 01:14 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Forty-Two Oooh, secrets, May & Co. aren't going to know about going into the sunlight for a while, are they? (I read further...) or maybe they are, lol. The idea of sanctuary (manifesting in an actual place called Sanctuary) seems to be a popular one in supernatural fictions. Not only is there the TV show called Sanctuary, I've read other fictions with Sanctuary as a featured place as well. I don't think this is good or bad, just making an observation. I like the way May and Kai relate to each other. The way they speak really gives me the feeling that they know each other well and have a good rapport (the first time you've shown us vs. telling us). Very interesting plot developments… history, a council, a past lover who has power, a lance… I like being teased I love Gabriel's intro. The way Kai feels about him, annoyed for being around yet unable to resist falling prey to the beauty, voice, and past, it just tells us everything we need to know about their history. "...I remember looking into them for the first time and losing my heart and I remember looking into them for the last time and taking it back, broken though it was." Absolutely beautiful! As much as I like seeing Marc and Kai reunite, I find myself itching to get past their personal stuff and get to the more plot heavy stuff. Author's Response: Yes there is a lot of history between Gabriel and Kai and not all of it is good. Thanks for continuing to read and the extremely valuable reviews. Date: 02/23/2010 01:12 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Forty-Two You definitely have a way with sustaining narrative tension. I'm constantly so anxious for the characters! I can't wait to find out why Marc is so strong and Kai so weak… clearly it has something to do with his strange angelic properties but I still refuse to make predictions! I love Marc's sense of self preservation. "No! This isn’t the way it is supposed to go. I was being heroic. I was saving his life but not at the cost of my own." This is just a perfect moment. I would have been truly disappointed if Marc had given in to the wishy-washy "I love him so much I'll just let myself die for him" attitude. It's also a very good demonstration of Marc's strength over Kai's, that Marc can stop himself feeding (in the earlier chapter) but Kai can't. The descriptions of Pan and Beth are better integrated than Shade et al. It's so much more important to focus on a fact like the Beth's light-up-the-world smile than physical details. Beth reminds me of Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The frank honesty and not understanding common phrases is definitely a quality of being removed from the world for a while. Author's Response: Hehe... you've hit a nail on the head there. Glad you're still enjoying it. This was one of my first stories and I am particuarly fond of it Date: 02/23/2010 01:12 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Forty-Two Something I should have said in the comment at the last chapter: I'm intrigued by your characters and can tell you have a lot of interesting character developments to reveal, but I'm actually a little more interested in the world you've created. I want to know more about the vampires' powers, the other demons, the rules of the supernatural. Not much to say on this chapter… The suspense as the sun slowly rises is a good thing, but they talk just a bit too much. Kai goes on about his disbelief and his love, then says it, then Marc says it back… It's a little too repetitive, a little too indulgent. Yes the characters do believe they will die so of course they are feeling this way, but we as the audience know from the length of the story that they aren't going to die and we've already heard them admit these things to us and each other several times already. Continuing with the reading... Author's Response: Hehe. Excellent point. Yeah... it was indulgent. I am a great one for intense dialogue and (secret aside) I needed Marc to take up the story and I was padding the chapter a little to get to the end so I could start with his (bad me ) Date: 02/22/2010 02:54 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Forty-Two As promised, more thoughts as I went along: I love some of your word choice and descriptions, such as "a paunch oozing over the top of his trousers." Again, I find the tone you set very strong and easy to engage with. Your sex scenes are very sexy. They almost feel like they are written with giddy delight. Although, I always have trouble reading euphemisy (I know this isn't a real word but I'm sure you understand) words such as "pearls of nectar" in a sex scene and prefer straight forward word choices. When I think about it, it does fit the tone of this story, so maybe its more a general personal preference thing on my part and not a criticism of you. I always wonder if vampires should be able to blush, since if they are truly dead and have no circulation this shouldn't be possible. Then again, if they have no circulation they shouldn't be able to have sex either, so it all depends on the rules of the particular story. I think this is one of the most poignant things about their relationship: "...when I am with him I actually believe the things he says about me." It is very rare and very meaningful to find a person who makes you feel like this in real life. The scavengers - great idea for cleaning up the body. Oh the intrigue between Kai and May… Every vampire has a long, deep dark past. The slow revelation is a hallmark of every vampire story. I realize you put these chapters up slowly to gain feedback and put little comments at the beginning and end of each chapter to garner interest, but I think you're selling yourself a little short. The story is definitely interesting enough to compel readers to continue on its own merit. Knowing already that I am going to read through to the end, I find the little hints about what is to come at the end of each chapter unnecessary and almost like little spoilers. Perhaps it is a glitch on my end, but there is a blank Author's Response: after my comments on chapter two. I enjoy the dialogue and am just wondering if you did have anything to reply In answer to your last comment about my own vampire fiction, it actually isn't posted anywhere. I am very protective of certain fictions and the stories on this site are the only ones I've ever posted online. I am very honoured by your interest though and thank you for asking. A couple of days ago I outlined a vampire story specifically for this site, and reading your story definitely makes me want to write it! Author's Response: Weird. I did write a response for chapter two. Can't remember what it was now Part of it was pointing out what I think you will have grasped by now, namely that the chapters alternate POV so that you shouldn't lose track of who is talking when. I love your reviews they are so thorough and thought provoking. It's a shame I shan't get to read your vampire stories as I am sure I would enjoy them from the comments you make about mine. Be warned though this is nothing like any 'normal' vampire story so expect the unexpexted. Date: 02/22/2010 02:26 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Forty-Two Again with the running commentary: It is so easy to follow along with Marc's thoughts and feelings. I love the choices you made with regards to the strength and types of vampire powers. With every description of his new abilities, it makes so much sense how he dealing with them and adjusting to them. I love the tease about the sunlight - is he purposely trying to make Marc want to do it? Hopefully Marc is too afraid of embarrassing himself by sparkling to disobey Kai, lol :P I am equally afraid and curious for them to push the boundaries of lovemaking, to go to that dangerous place again and find out what that was all about. I like how you place character descriptions throughout the story. So often the narrative is going along and then - bam - all momentum stops as pointlessly detailed physical description passages are thrust in out of nowhere. Your characters aren't clones, the standard buff and hot, and they're described slowly, peppered throughout the story as they should be. Right after that last point I read the descriptions of Shade, Wolfy, and May. Their names seem a little two-dimensional, too blatantly descriptive, but then again, perhaps that is what they are going for. Their descriptions could be spread out a little bit more. A detail such as how Marc feels about Wolfy's loyalty, I feel that would be better shown through actions later on than blatantly stated in words right now. We have no reason to understand Marc or believe him when he states this character trait, as they've just met. You and I are very like minded. The focus on the smells of urine and decay in the city are the first thing I always think about when pondering enhanced senses. There are a few parallels between your vampire fiction and my own that I find quite intriguing. Shade's warning is a little too detailed. I feel the mystery and dread would come across better if he was a bit more vague and said less. I love that Marc is horrified at the prospect of dinner. Alas, it is bedtime for me. I will definitely be reading more soon though. Author's Response: Hmmm you picked up the tease about sunlight :) Don't worry my vampire DON'T sparkle :P I like to unwind descriptions and have experimented with not describing my characters at all. With Shade Wolfy and Mai I guess I did rush the descriptions a little but the reason for that may be made clear as the story progresses. Particularly with regard to Shade who is not what he seems at all. I would very much like to read your stories especially if you have my kind of vampires in it (ie not sparkly ones ;) ) Maybe you could put a link in your next review... unless you slam down the lid in disgust after the next chapter :) Thanks again for reading and the awesome reviews. Date: 02/22/2010 01:30 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Forty-Two Again with the running commentary: • I was very excited to see that Kai was the narrator for this chapter. I was hoping the narration would switch back and forth between them. I hope you can distinguish their voices. • I like the description of the different attitudes of different vampires, a variation in levels of evil. It makes vampires as a whole much more interesting and unpredictable. • Kai's wild mood swing from loving/caring to anger seems a little excessive and hard to follow, but perhaps that is just his character or the influence of stress/the change. • I have nothing against appropriately used swearing, however, it just doesn't feel right in this story. I think your style of writing is brilliantly cohesive and the curse words just don't fit the tone you've set, even though the character is justified in using them. I'm quite captivated and can't wait to read more. I'm afraid to make any predictions! Author's Response: Date: 02/22/2010 12:50 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Forty-Two I took some running notes as I went along. Here they are: • Right from the start I felt connected to the narrator, understanding and believing the story being told. Good choice in making the story present tense. • I really like your short paragraph structure here. Some of your other stories can get a little long winded; this chapter is snappy and gives the right amount of information without bogging it down with unnecessary repetition or description. • The language has a very nice balance of poetic imagery without being too flowery or overly sentimental. • It is SO refreshing to see a character about to be turned in a vampire story to admit, "Am I sure? No, of course not," and to say, "Do it quickly because even though I am sure it is what I want I am still afraid." • To be nitpicky, some sentences are a little long. It was only distracting in a few places and I'm only mentioning it because I'm having trouble finding criticisms :) Hopefully I will have something to say at the end of each chapter. I'm quite engaged right now - yay! Author's Response: WOW what can I say? That's one of the most awesome reviews i have ever had. It was really detailed and useful. This was one of my early stories and one of my favourites so there are a lot of style errors that I have been picked up on and tried to improve... like the long sentences and big blocks of dialogure. Thanks for reading and the awesome review. Hope you enjoy the story :) Date: 02/22/2010 12:17 AM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Fastreader This better be a cliffhanger! Author's Response: Had it now? :) I won't be too cruel. Will post the last chapter soon and then it will all be over.... if it isn't already :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 09/19/2009 07:53 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: semaj565 I love where you're taking this story! At first your focus was on an individual, then a couple, and now whole races of beings! Keep up the good work :) Author's Response: Only two chapters left so I will do my best not to disappoint Date: 09/13/2009 12:20 AM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Conner This is cruel and unusual punishment! I will not survive it. God save the Queen....or something like that. Author's Response: *Gasps* Oh dear. I hope you do survive it. Don't worry... it get's calmer... for a while :) *evil grin* I do like to take my readers on a journey... I'm glad you are still holding on in there. God save the Queen? Where did that come from? Hehe. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting and, most of all thank you for enjoying. :) Date: 09/06/2009 11:54 AM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Conner I think I'd better take a break here...before I blow a gasket. Just incredible! Author's Response: You are too kind sir. I am very grateful to you for your reviews. Reviews are like druge... they boost your mood no end but become a craving, an addiction. If there is anything particular that you like or don't like please let me know. I am always happy to receive criticism as I want to grow and develop as a writer. But the bottom line is that it is just wonderful to know that someone is reading my words and reacting to them. Thank you so much Date: 09/05/2009 09:20 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Conner This was an incredible chapter. Author's Response: Thank you. This was great fun to write... if fun is the right word. The consequences are far reaching. They won't know quite how far reaching until almost the end. Date: 09/05/2009 09:03 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Conner I will have to check out the Malakh. Thanks for the reference. Author's Response: We find out a ittle more in the story but there is so much to know. You have to read with a pinch of salt though. it was such a long time ago much has been twisted in the telling. Date: 09/05/2009 08:08 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Conner I think I read this entire chapter holding my breath. WOW Author's Response: Oh dear. If you read that chapter holding your breath you had better practice breathing for later ones :) I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. Date: 09/05/2009 07:45 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Fastreader Wow, Nephylim, you are just full of surprises for us with this story! Angels who take possession, huh?!? Okay, bring it on... Author's Response: Thank you for keeping with me. And i will bring it on, oh yeah... :) Date: 09/05/2009 06:45 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Conner Marc is so sweet. I just want to eat him up. Then again, so does Merticus. Author's Response: Hmmm. He is such an angel isn't he? :) Not Merticus of course...he's one sick little puppy...but fortunately not for long :) Date: 09/05/2009 05:51 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Conner Vampires in the sun. I like it. You know, it's actually about time. They've been a very marginalized group over the years. ;) Author's Response: They have indeed, at least in fiction. ;) It's so great you are taking the time to comment on all the chapters. It's exciting to see what someone thinks as they go along. Things are really still only just warming up. Date: 09/05/2009 04:56 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Conner You most definitely have a dark side, Neph. Makes you all that more interesting! It's good for the story too. Author's Response: Oh I do, I do... and you haven't seen anything yet :) Date: 09/05/2009 04:00 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Conner This chapter is anything but boring. Shade seems cool...sort of...in a mysterious kind of way. May is trouble. I can tell already. Dinner is served. Author's Response: May is a sweetie ;) Wait until you meet Gabriel...and don't even talk about Merticus... sweet as a surfer boy and evil to the core. :) Glad you are enjoying. Date: 09/05/2009 03:21 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Conner "...make it worth my while to give you more." That was incredibly sexy. The chapter was incredibly sexy too! Author's Response: Thank you, it was meant to be. Date: 09/05/2009 02:30 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Conner Had I known you had a vampire story, I would've read it first. I love everything vampire. Blame Anne Rice! This first chapter was so passionate, so real, I just loved it. Author's Response: Me too. This is my favourite story of all. I love all things vampie, although a lot of it frustrates me. This is still not about 'real' vampires but is more accurate than Twilight :) Actually this is my second favourite story I ever wrote. I love the characters. Wait until you get into it, there are plenty of twists and turns, love,hate, sex, abuse, friendship, angels and of course vampires Thanks for reading Date: 09/05/2009 02:08 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 I love the story so far and I think I can see where you're heading now. who knows, you may surprise me :) The only thing I can say is take your time...and hurry! lol Author's Response: Be sure to tell me if you were right :) There are still a fair few surprises to come. Date: 08/18/2009 04:56 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Rilbur I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and you just shoved me off! More, more, more! I wanna know what happens! :D Author's Response: Patience. I hope you learn to fly pretty quickly.... more cliffs to come... lots more :) The heights get higher and the lows lower. Maybe you should get a parachute. Thanks for continuing to read and to comment Date: 08/18/2009 12:46 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Rilbur Another good chapter. Not much else to say -- it's a good chapter. Author's Response: Yeah I know... not much happens in that one but trust me it's the calm before the storm... again. Date: 08/14/2009 06:16 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: eternal night Great chapter man. I am happy they both lived. but now you got me wondering what is going to happen to them. And i hope they both will be okay. Author's Response: Thank you. Erm.... sorry:) Date: 07/28/2009 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Rilbur Another good chapter, and I have demand more! More! Author's Response: Thank you... there will be more, a lot more :) Date: 07/28/2009 10:01 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: eternal night Hey man. I just saw and picked up your story. And OMG. I am lving it. :D. But PLEASE dont let marc or kai die!!!! i can not wait. and great cliff hanger. Author's Response: Thank you. Can't make any promises on that score. In fact....:) Date: 07/19/2009 07:40 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Rilbur Hrm... if it's daylight out, does Merticus expect Kai to be able to break into the room? A good dose of sunlight might 'solve' his problem! Author's Response: You never know... you could well be right. Merticus knows about the daylight thing otherwise he would not have taken Marc the way he did. He is expecting Kai. He knows he is on his way.... but he is NOT expecting what happens next. Date: 07/19/2009 04:46 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Phoenix Um... interesting. Didn't reveal a lot except that the two of them are angels that like blood? Author's Response: We are only just beginning. You haven't met the angels yet so you have no idea what it actually means... you will... you will... :) Date: 07/11/2009 02:10 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Rilbur Malakim? Angel? Wow... Now if only I had a clue what they were talking about! Oh, and 'nuetralizing' Marc without taking the time to ask first? How naughty! Author's Response: It only gets nautghtier. Seriously... do you think it would help if I posted a short explaination in the opening notes next time to explain who and what the Malakim are. I'm not making them up. Pm or email me with your thoughts. Date: 07/11/2009 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Phoenix Wow, I have to say I just found this story and it's great. I'm enjoying the intrigue, and I cannot wait to see what happens with Salem and Marc! And I'd love to know more of Kai's 359 year past. Author's Response: Thank you. We do get to know some things about Kai's past... and they are truly shocking. Date: 07/08/2009 11:45 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Rilbur An interesting story to date, and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go! Author's Response: They have a hell of a way to go yet. This is my own personal favourite so far so I am really really lad you like it. Date: 07/08/2009 11:58 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: DragonFire Well, that was a roller-coaster and a half, the last five chapters I mean, but what a story this is turning out to be. It seems we have a couple of day-walkers in our midst, certainly an interesting twist. The sharing of blood I'm assuming between Marc and Kai, will only make things more interesting. Excellent job. Author's Response: Thank you :) Date: 07/02/2009 06:19 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: David McLeod Once again, Nephylim has taken an old, worn subject and made it unique. The rules are different, but they seem to be consistent, and that counts for a lot. And yes, it would be easy to overdose! Date: 06/27/2009 01:55 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: taina1959 Dang it girl!!! Just when I'm about to spit my heart out my mouth you cut me loose!! hahaha! This is such a great chapter!! I so hate you for leaving me hanging! LOL And puleeeze!! DON'T kill Kai!!!! Author's Response: Maaaaybeeee. :) Date: 06/23/2009 12:02 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: David McLeod It must be very difficult to write something new on a subject as old and common as this one; it must be even more difficult to write something as good as this story when writing about a subject as old and common as this one. Somehow, Nephylim has done both. Author's Response: Wow!!! Thank you. I am smiling now. I love it when someone likes something I write... it's such a glow. Thank you for taking time to review ... the glowing is a bonus :) Date: 06/21/2009 09:13 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: taina1959 WHAT???? Who? Who is behind Marc??? ARGH!! You play dirty my little puppet!! Great chapter by the way! Author's Response: Maybe you will find out... maybe you won't. Maybe someone is about to die...maybe they aren't... well yes they are. Oooohhh I am so bad. And I am only going to get worse... Hehe Date: 06/20/2009 07:31 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: taina1959 Hey Babe! Take a look at the beginning of this chapter!!!! HURRY!!! HEH Author's Response: OOooops. Thanks for the heads up. Fixed. *Blush* Date: 06/20/2009 03:08 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: brilledelune Ahhhhhh!!!!! I want more. Excellent work I love vampires and from what I'm reading this is just te begining, so you better give us more or I will bite you! hehe ;-p Author's Response: Oh yes.... this is definately only just the beginning... just dipping the toe, setting the scene. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and to comment. I am quite new on the site and I get wildly excited over every review. I will post two chaptes next time because they kind of go together and the next one is pretty much a scene setter. Date: 06/18/2009 02:09 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: taina1959 Wow! Gimme more girl! Great Chapter! The feelings Kai is experiencing watching Marc in so much pain while he is transforming is worth the rewards of their love making and love confirmation at the end. Can't wait for 3! Author's Response: This is only just warming up. It's chapter 4 where things really start kicking up a gear. I will definately put up more as I can see there are a lot of people reading my stories which is, after all what it's all about, whether they are brave enough to review or not. :) Date: 06/17/2009 12:39 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 Oh you Evil YOU!! LOL You better give us more!!! This chapter kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time! I love vampires! Any and all! And your writing is so amazing it's like playing the scenes in my mind! Great start to what I know is going to be a GREAT story! ~Rush~ Author's Response: Evil? Who? Me? *shines halo* Mwahahaha. Don't worry there's plenty more where that came from. :) Date: 06/16/2009 10:50 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: DragonFire Excellent work. This looks like it's going to be a very interesting story, and if this chapter is anything to go by, a compelling one. Wonderfully written, incredibly dark, but through all that, love stands like a beacon against the shadows. Very well done. Author's Response: Thank you. Yes, the whole story is dark... it's meant to be but this is certainly about love and what it can achieve given the chance. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I will post chapter two next week... just for you :) Date: 06/14/2009 03:51 PM

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: jenny_r As bad as this sounds, I LOVED the description of Ash getting beat up. I think it takes talent to write a vividly descriptive but not overly gratuitous scene of violence, and yours was pretty much perfect. I love how you stretched it out and described exactly how he was feeling--how he first felt, how he became aware of the pain, how his body betrayed him when he tried to get up, etc. It was bloody and painful to read but very poetic at the same time. GREAT job; definitely my favorite part of the chapter. Author's Response: After reading your story why doesn't that surprise me? i think your mind works in a similar way to mine. I love, love, love the way you write Trsitan's pain. Is that wrong? Meh, who cares. i know what I like. Thank you for your review and I am very glad you enjoyed the story. Just about all of my stories have violence of some kind. Date: 10/26/2010 03:46 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: HapplyLittleBee 10/10 I'm really glad I made the time to read this. I am a teacher only three years older than my senior students and I can relate to how you describe "the line"... I generally don't hold for people who cross said "line" but you described the emotion so realistically that I can honestly not picture the story having any other ending. Author's Response: I'm really glad that you 'got' the story.I made sure that Ash was 18 and therefore 'legal' and I think that Josh really tried to keep to 'the line' but this love was just totally meant to be And although he fought it to the end you just can't beat love or destiny, it always gets you in the end. At least in my stories it does I am very glad you enjoyed the story and thank you so much for the review. Date: 07/22/2010 08:57 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: HapplyLittleBee OK, so I like to do things a little differently... I've not read this story yet - but I am about to start reading it. So thank you in advance for the next few hours of entertainment. I like to say this to start off with because sometimes I get caught up and forget to comment ch by ch Author's Response: Hehe. As someone who also likes to 'do things a little differently' I so appreciate that. I hope that the thanks are warranted. THanks for the comment Good Reading Date: 07/22/2010 06:23 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: adamo wow. This was such a beautiful and touching story. Thank you so much for sharing. Author's Response: You're more than welcome hun. I like Ash a lot and wish I had known someone like him when I was at school. Thanks for the review. I appreciate you taking the time and trouble. Starting the day with a smile can never be a bad thing Date: 07/07/2010 11:15 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: LEON-NOEL WELL, IT ENDED SO WELL. SO MANY OF THESE TALES END UNHAPPILY. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY. IT IS ABOUT TIME THE WORLD WAKES TO THE HUMAN CONDITION. YOU STORY SHOWS IT WELL ALBEIT YOU TOOK YOUR GOOD OLD TIME IN SAYING. DO NOT LISTEN TO ME - YOU WROTE JUST FINE. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY - IF THE WORLD DOES ALL OF SUDDEN WAKES UP. YOUR WRITING MAY AND I REPEAT, MAY BECOME PASSE. HEAVEN FORBID !! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !! Author's Response: Hehe. Thanks for taking the time to reveiw. On your definition here's hoping that my writing becomes passe sometime soon. Date: 05/15/2010 05:57 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: jhol7689 I LOvEd it I'm very pleased that his father changed his mind, everyone needs love. That school pissed me off lol the head master I would like to bash. Im glad Josh and Ash made it. Wish there were more =] Author's Response: Aw thanks hun. This story is close to my heart because it's set in my home town at my old school. People really are like that here Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 03/18/2010 03:34 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Totally AWESOME!! Probably thr best I have read on this site. You have a gift for writing that is a blessing.....Thank you. Author's Response: WOW. What can I say to that? Thank you. Maybe you haven't read many stories Date: 03/01/2010 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: tinlizzie I finally had a chance to read the last chapter. I'm glad it had a happy ending. I needed a happy ending story today. Thanks Neph for taking the time to write your stories for us to enjoy! Author's Response: You're very welcome hun. I am delighted that people read and enjoy what I write and even more so when they take the time to comment so... thank you Date: 11/07/2009 03:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Carl DaVinci Had to scroll past all the reviews coz I don't want any spoilers. Only on chapter 3 and your story's keeping me nicely entertained on those long office night. (note to self, I can't multi-task.) Keep going man- Author's Response: Thank you for the review. You can review at the end of the chapter you read so that you don't have to look at any of the others until you get to the end. I'm glad I get to relieve the boredom at work... I don't have internet so I sneak a pad in and write instead. I have to shove the pad under the desk every time anyone opens the door. I have been caught a couple of times but not by any of the bosses... so far. I am glad you are enjoying the story. I am also enjoying yours. I have finished posting this one now... it was only a short one. I am really looking forward to the next chapter of yours. Date: 10/21/2009 10:49 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: David McLeod The story unfolds like a waking dream, revealing deft characterizations and a captivating portrait of two young men struggling to find themselves. The inspiration of such classics as "The Corn is Green" and "How Green was my Valley," as well as the more modern, "Billy Elliot" runs below like a golden current, but this story is so much more. Told with warmth and compassion, it will thrill any reader. Author's Response: WOW. Thanks David. To be compared to classics... I mean WOW. Thanks. I said that right? I am really glad you enjoyed it and caught the Welsh flavour. I really appreciate the comment. Date: 10/17/2009 06:47 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Chad Durans Chapter 2 Well Nephylim a definitely story I can relate to.. I feel that jealousy is our biggest problem in society and I see it in chapter 2. The twins. I like how you had Ash totally thinking he was safe and then out of nowhere there they are the twins. YOu made me scream. I hope Ash gets them and gets them good..... Author's Response: Read to the end and you'll find out. He does... but not in the way you'd expect. I'm glad you liked the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 10/15/2009 04:01 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: anordwell WOW!! Yummy num nums! You have the ability bring characters to life in a very short period of time. Your stories are quite addicting, please don't stop writing! Author's Response: Thank you for the review and for reading my story. I love my characters and live them for the period I am writing the story which, I suppose why then seem to be alive... because to me they are. You have no worries about me stopping writing... might as well try to stop breathing. Thanks again for the review Date: 10/14/2009 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: taina1959 Super fantastic, just like I expected !!! A+ my dear !!! Thanks for the smile on my face... Author's Response: That is the best thing I've heard all week. To have put a smile on your face is worth a fortune hun Thanks for the review, and the smile. *hugs* Date: 10/14/2009 10:08 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: taina1959 But...? You evilness! Leaving me in suspence! Luv Ya!! Author's Response: Nah... no suspense. It's all okay now, isn't it? Date: 10/10/2009 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: tinlizzie Hey Nephylim! Look here, I'm finally able to post! I'm glad Josh finally stopped waffling around and made a choice. And in such grand style as well, standing up to Hendicott! And he resolved the dilemma of having a relationship with a student by quitting. I hope all these actions didn't come to late. I'm looking forward to where your next chapter takes us. Author's Response: Thank you. I am glad you are fully functional now Yeah... Josh is scary when he blows. Hendicott didn't know what hit him... although I think Josh had plenty of cause to be angry with him. Actually the bits where Josh confronts the headmaster are based on a real confrontation with my own headmaster when I was at school. It wasn't about this particular subject but the headmaster did pretty much what Hendicott did even down to visiting the pupil at home... welll where they were staying at the time. It didn't have such a dramatic conclusion but it was pretty stressful at the time. I am glad you are still enjoying the story. Date: 10/08/2009 08:47 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: taina1959 OMGs Nephy!! I'm about to lay you on my lap and give you a good swatting on the hiney!! LOL! Ashy baby better be alright! Well, knowing you, at least breathing... That was one hell of a chapter girl! You're my favorite drug! Author's Response: Thank you I'll hold you to the spanking some time. Ash is still alive... I'll give you that and there are only two chapters left before the end so he can't get up to too much can he? Hmmm... I suppose two chapters is plent for some more suprises... Date: 10/08/2009 03:46 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Fastreader Neph', you don't do anything expected, do you? Author's Response: Heaven forbid Date: 10/06/2009 12:20 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Fastreader Nephy', your story plots never cease to amaze me! This is progressing into a very complicated situation, very quickly. Author's Response: Thank you. i have a complicated mind. This is quite a short story so don't worry about too many more complications. It does get worse before it gets better though... sometimes you have to lose something before you realise how important it is to you. Date: 10/04/2009 02:46 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Benjim “Josh.... I...” “Ssh. Not tonight Ash. It’s been a long, hard day. This is not the time for deep conversations. There’ll be time for that later.” “Will there? Will there be time for it or will it never be the right time?” Those were the best lines in the chapter! This is tough to be true to your proffesion and yet be maligned beforehand by the commuinty. I'd say get Ash and go back to London and leave the prick town faraway. Nice chapter!! Author's Response: Hey... that prick town is where I live.... which is exactly why I am about to move Both of them are having a hard time. Josh is trying to be the professional, the adult but he is as vulnerable as Ash in his own way. Actually Ash is not as vulnerable as he seems... not at all. People jump to conclusions about the things he is going through but he is tough. He is going to have to be. Date: 10/04/2009 12:22 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: taina1959 Knowing that Ash is not a minor, I will say that love is love no matter how it comes or where it's coming from. I do hope they will stay together and that Josh realizes that Ash is right for him. Author's Response: Sometimes you just don't realise what you have until you lose it. Date: 10/03/2009 10:53 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Fastreader Now it gets interesting! Author's Response: Oh it gets more interesting, you can be sure of that. Thanks for continuing to read and comment Date: 10/02/2009 12:26 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Chad Durans Chapter 2 Why is it that everyone else knows when someone has a liking to Ash and Ash has no idea that he is the teachers pet.. I really like how you storie that perfectly with the twins.. It is something that I can relate to and Iam sure many other people can also. I always seem to thing that most of your stories that I read I have met characters that you write about somewhere or sometime in my life. I love reading stories that I can find in real life. Chad Durans Author's Response: Thank you. I am glad that you can find something in my stories you can relate to. That is the biggest compliment I could have. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. Isn't it always the case that others seem to be able to know how you feel long before you do Date: 10/01/2009 08:22 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 I've officially read all of your work and I think I'm in love haha. Keep on writing and I'll keep on reading Author's Response: Wow... what a compliment. Thank you. Don't worry, I'll keep writing. It's like air and water to me Date: 09/29/2009 04:15 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: skankabouttown Honesty. Wow the way you get inside the struggles of your characters. The poor guys are so confused. This was an expository chapter. I guess there is no justice in this world. Good job Author's Response: As one of my favourite literary characters said once... 'There is no justice... only me' (Death from Terry Pratchett's Discworld) Date: 09/29/2009 02:11 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Fastreader This was certainly a revealing chapter! Author's Response: I hope so. It gets more so in the next chapter.... or at least the struggle intensifies. Date: 09/28/2009 06:28 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Chad Durans To Nephylim I like stories that are about people who are not popular, or people who are under average looking. This is what I felt with Ash, just a under average guy. His character is what many people can relate to.. Enjoyed reading the first chapter. Chad Durans Author's Response: Ash is a very talented artist but, as with many people who have a gift it has tended to isolate him so he is not popular, he does not have many friends. His sexual exploits have all been empty and he may be experienced in the physical act but he hasn't got a clue when it comes to actual connectecting with another person. i suppose in a way he is socially retarded. He is lost and confused and already disillusioned with life, the universe and everything. I think what I was trying to convey was that even someone who is beautiful to look at and who has a talent can be very much lacking in the social skills department, in fact the very thing that others might envy in them, that might set them apart is the thing that isolates them. It's about perceptions. To some people Ash had everything going for him... his looks, his talent... but in fact he is exactly what you felt he was... a kid who is lonely, unpopular, isolated, uncertain, and mixed up... just like everyone else... in most of the ways that count... an under average guy. And Josh is even more so. He doesn't even have the looks and talent... he is running away from boredom and is old before his time. Glad you are liking it and I hope you contiue to do so. Thanks even more for the review. Date: 09/28/2009 04:39 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: taina1959 This chapter was so intense! You are such a talented writer dear friend... Author's Response: Thank you. That means such a lot coming from you. And the 'dear friend' so much more Date: 09/28/2009 12:48 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: skankabouttown Goddamnit Neph! Oh my God. Well this is certainly good.. no exceptional writing. I'm angry as hell and more than annoyed. You evoke all these emotions with this one scene. Perhaps it is because it might as well have been me lying there a few years ago. I wish I'd had Ash's guts to talk like that to my bullies in school, but I hadn't. If your aim was pity, anger and pure hatred, well done, bud. Please don't keep us waiting long for the next chapter. I hope there's a heady dose of justice to go along with it! Keep up the good work Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words. I am pretty taken aback. Thank you. I am sorry that it evoked bad memories. Yeah.. I wish I had had the guts to stand up to bullies like that too. Ash is very much the person I would like to have been mixed up with the person I am... in that the angsty, lovetorn, confused and crumpled little boy is the part that is like me (except for the boy part of course... or the little) and the strong brave ballsy wise guy is who I would have liked to be. Not that it got him very far. I will be posting chapters fairly regularly on this one as there are only 9 in all so should all be out there in a week or so. In fact I may well put the next one up today. As for justice.... hmm.. I am a lawyer and I know that doesn't exist. What happens is real, I think. You'll have to wait and see what you think. Thanks again. Date: 09/28/2009 08:57 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: NightOwl Very nice Nephylim, very, very nice. I confess that this is the first of your works that I have read, and I am sorely displeased with myself for having waited so long. If this story (particulerly this chapter) is in any way resemblant to your other work then I have indeed missed much. I look forward to reading more, not only of this but your other work as well. Best Wishes Nightowl P.S The twins intrigue me. Author's Response: Thank you. I am glad that you liked it. This chapter is very much resemblant to my work generaly in that there is plenty of violence and I torture my characters mentally and physically Thanks again for the review. I hope you continue to enjoy. The twins are very much a product of their setting. I should know, I live here. Date: 09/27/2009 10:49 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephylim you have an amazing talent for writing. I do enjoy your stories and can't wait to see how this one develops. Thank you. Author's Response: Thank you. It was very nice of you to say so. I am glad you are enjoying my stories. This one goes the same way as all my stories go. Up and down Or should I say down...then down... then up a bit... then down... then up... then... anywhere Date: 09/27/2009 07:07 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: skankabouttown Hey this is brilliantly done. I can almost see the characters and feel their inner conflict. I was sceptical in the beginning of a 'troubled student gets saved by hero teacher' storyline but there are undercurrents and definite interesting plot develpment potential. I'll be staying tuned (",) Author's Response: Thank you. It's always nice to know that someone likes what you write.... that's the point. This isn't really about a troubled student getting saved by hero teacher. Ash isn't really troubled... he's surprisingly well sorted and Josh is no hero... although in a way that's what he becomes. The story isn't at all about Ash's life being sorted, more about them both being saved. I'm glad you liked it and I hope the rest won't disappoint. Date: 09/25/2009 04:14 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 Love your work Neph... looking forward to watching this one progress Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you won't be disappointed. There is a lot to come. You are familiar enough with my work to know that no one gets an easy ride in my stories... kinda like life. Date: 09/25/2009 03:06 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 Nephy, this is so beautiful! I was hiding behind one of the easels observing the whole episode developing in front of me. These two seem so real, only a mind like yours can create such characters! Josh should just take Ash away (a couple hundred miles) from there and have him join another college somewhere else away from his manipulative family! BRAVA!!! Author's Response: You know me hin. They've a long way to go before that happens. Date: 09/24/2009 06:37 PM

Title: Epilogue Reviewer: sanman Brilliant ending. Your ability to touch one, make one feel for the characters, the surprise element and above all, to tell me a good story, makes me a glutten for more. Thankyou, I'm moving onto another of your stories for my next fix Author's Response: Date: 09/27/2010 03:39 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: sanman MmM, once again you have me gripped in your narative claws and I have no choice but to go next, there's a sweetness and yet a ssense of forboading, even despair to this chapter, a sense of things past, and the future in the form of the child, Jaden, good chapter Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you are enjoying this one as it is one of my favourites. I really like Jaden too as he is kind of modelled on my son. Thanks for your review Date: 09/27/2010 02:30 AM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: phana14 Right now, Nephy, I can only say that you are unfecking believeable!!!! You are truly a Queen! Also, would you pleeeze give Connor my apologies? I can't believe I thought that he was a rotter! Thanks, Nephy. This is an outstandingly fantastic story! (I should probably stop now, huh?) Author's Response: WOW. That really was a 'I'm completely blown away' review. I'm glad you liked the story and I'm glad you liked Connor in the end. He is going to be good for Isaac I think. They compliment each other. Isaac is so... unworldly (if that's a word) and Connor so NOT. Connor is full of pepper and Isaac of cream. One will pull up and the other calm down. Thanks for liking my story and for telling me so. *huge hugs* Date: 07/03/2010 05:58 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: phana14 Oh sweet Nephy! All said, chapter 21 is very likely the sweetest chapter I have ever read. To take a *brute* and recreate him, giving him that sensual sexiness, that tenderness, and to have him care so deeply about someone else's feelings marks you as truly an *artist*! I cannot believe that I actually worried about Connor hurting Isaac. Author's Response: Connor is a complex character but one that I loved writing. He's full of angst and anger but has such a good heart. And all it took was Isaac's sweetness to bring it out. Date: 07/03/2010 03:52 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, This is truly an amazing tale. I'm guessing that in regard to Connor, Isaac shouldn't get too far away from Jon or Sean. He's already creeping ME out! As far as the accent goes--LAY IT ON!! After all, they DID just get off the boat, so to speak. It's YOUR story, remember. And thinking of that, I think that this is a good time to thank you for the story thus far; so, THANK YOU, Nephy Author's Response: Awww... you say the nicest things. No need to thank me hun... the pleasure is all mine As for Connor Date: 07/03/2010 02:05 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: phana14 All right you! What have you done with our Nephy? I just KNOW that she did not write these last three chapters! Three in a row, all so mushy-mushy that all I could think about was to wish for a pillow as big as my king-sized bed so I could throw myself on it until these goosebumps went away! Nephy, that marriage proposal and its aftermath was a beaut. So sweet and yet so funny also. And I've caught myself wondering just how much would be missing from the whole story if you hadn't slipped the little guy into it! He is so precocious, that it brings tears to my eyes when he is speaking. I really do love him! I'm almost dreading moving on, because alas, this IS a Nephylim story! *shivers* Author's Response: Well... there is definitely drama to come and there is darkness too... deep darkness but plenty of light and laughter.... and then of course there is the Irish contingent. I liked the marraige proposal. It blindsided me a little. I didn;t see it coming until the story presented it to me. It was nice. Date: 07/03/2010 10:07 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: phana14 WOW, Nephy! THERE'S a fork in the road that I never saw coming up! A family-a *real* family! So! Thanks to our little buddy (mate hehe) Jaden, Isaac also has a sugar granny. It would appear that maybe things will smooth out for him now? I am so very happy with the direction you are leading us at this point. You have had me worried for several chapters. And now I have to take back all of those nasty names that I called Dr. Marsden--well maybe not ALL of them, since he really WAS an ass at the begining. So Nephy, I'm off to meet the family. I do so hope that they are all nice? Author's Response: Oh they are, they are. I am so glad you a liking this story. It feels to me as if there are two halves to it... the one with isaac in the hospital and the one when he is out of it. The part in the middle where he meets his family is the connector which I hope you will like Date: 07/03/2010 08:17 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! What a wonderful surprise to see Jaden again! I swear to God that I did not *cheat*. It was just a feeling that I had about Jaden's importance to Isaac's recovery. GOD! I was actually embarrassed! Everything is looking up at the moment, but are we going to play nice? My money says *NO*! Author's Response: You really are getting to know me aren't you. And Jayden will keep cropping up like a bad... or not so bad.. penny I like Jaden and he is kind of a set off.. a relief from the intensity of what's going on around him but also a catharsis for something else that happens... as for what that is you will have to find out for yourself. Date: 07/02/2010 02:50 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, I looked up the word *poignant* and the definition was: "Those screams had ripped out my heart and mauled my soul." This story really has my attention now. I kinda hope little Jaden comes back in to help. He seems so *together* for a child of eight. Author's Response: Hehe. Jayden is totally modelled on my son. He is a freak. And yes... so very *together* although he's now 9 He asks so many questions he makes my head spin. Date: 07/02/2010 02:14 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy girl! That was an extremely intense chapter! WOW! And now you've got me shaking my head over your awesomeness, AGAIN! Jebus!! Author's Response: Hehe. Yeah this is quite an intense story I suppose. Isaac got to me Date: 07/02/2010 01:25 PM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: iguanacoosbay As before...Totally Awesome!! If you do one like this again, lose the accent. It is just too distracting. the reader spends too much time trying to figure out what the character is saying and we lose the emotion of what he is saying. Loved it. Author's Response: Yes, I have been told that about the accent. The problem was that I asked my readers to let me know early on what they thought about that accent and the didn't so I just kept on. Now that people are telling me I will go back and change it someday when my writing what I'm writing fever wears off. Glad you liked the story though Date: 03/02/2010 04:42 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay I am just awed by your talent as a story teller. You have a very unique gift with words. Don't ever stop writing!!!!!! Author's Response: Awww thank you so much. That was awesome. Don't worry. For me stopping writing would be like stopping breathing I will definitely keep writing. I hope that you will keep reading Date: 03/02/2010 01:05 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: AdrianBlack I'm thrilled... Author's Response: Glad to hear it hun. I hope you remain so for a long time Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you continue to enjoy *hugs* Date: 02/14/2010 03:25 PM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: Wyndham You will make me cry you will!!!!!! Lovely ending to a terrific story. Thank you Nephylim. p.s. I've just published my first story on GA - at least the first 2 chapters. I would be honoured if you had the time to give the story a quick read and pass on some advice to a newby author.....? Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed this story it was one of my favourites to write. Going to read yours right now Date: 02/08/2010 12:12 PM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: anordwell Sigh....it's a beautiful ending. This story was full of shock, terror, anger, pain yet still had such an eloquent message of love. Thank you Nephy for such a poignant story! I think this one is my very favorite of all your GA stories. Author's Response: Thank you. It was awesome to write. I soooo love Isaac and I sooo want to sleep with Connor I think Caleb is my favourite baddie so far... although there are some wicked ones to come in the next couple of stories I post... although you have already read one of them... not that that lets you off reviewing. LOL Date: 01/11/2010 07:46 AM Title: Chapter 26 Reviewer: anordwell Almost! Arggghhh! You are a giant tease but this was the best chapter ever. Now on to the finish because I was a procrastinator and waited Author's Response: I like to please I like to tease Date: 01/11/2010 07:42 AM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: eliotmoore I sort of read through this in a day; something of a marathon I can tell you. It was a nice story indeed, thanks for sharing it with us. Author's Response: I'm glad you like it and wow reading it in a day has to put you in the running for some kind of medal surely. Thanks for the review. Date: 01/10/2010 11:46 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: eliotmoore An interesting beginning with mystery and a nice juxtaposition between the hopeful innocence of youth and the jaded cynicism of adulthood. Author's Response: Thank you. I like the way you use words. I hadn't thought of the scene between Isaac and Jaden like that but you're right Date: 01/10/2010 11:41 AM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: taina1959 That was super fantastic me darling!!!! Thank yer dear friend, yer have such a special mind to come up with all dis fantastic stories!! Thank yer for sharing them wit us! Author's Response: Like the accent And I'm glad SOMEBODY loves me enough to reveiw my stories *sniff sniff* Not that you can Cia's reviews aren't enough to satisfy my craving:) I really enjoyed writing this story. Isaac was a dream character to write and Connor was soooo sexy I am going to miss them... but i'm already on to a new one... in fact two...no three if you count Weeping LIly as well as the two you have graciously edited and ready to start posting so... onwards and upwards eh? Date: 01/09/2010 11:11 AM Title: Chapter 26 Reviewer: taina1959 WHAT??? You!! You have my heart hanging from a thread! And well... you go from "This is the end..." to "Almost..." ? ? ? Talk about leaving me hanging girl!!! UGH! and if this is NOT the last chapter... what a way of leaving us with a dreadful cliffhanger!!! I know who I'll be voting for as Cliffhanger QUEEN!!!! Author's Response: I told you I don't do cliffhangers. I just write it as it is I can absolutely assure you that this is definately the last chapter... Epilogues don't count as chapters right Date: 01/02/2010 04:35 PM Title: Chapter 25 Reviewer: anordwell Oh no! Poor Connor and Isaac. Perhaps the choice is going to be made for them. The queen of suspense strikes again, great job Nephy! Author's Response: I can say in all honesty that yes... the choice has been made for them. Whether it is in the way you think... we'll see. One more chapter left and Isaac has a lot of thinking to do, a lot of coming to terms with what's happening around him... and a blinding realisation to come to. Date: 12/31/2009 04:09 PM Title: Chapter 25 Reviewer: Fastreader Neph', you're really bucking for that 'Master of the Cliffhanger" award this year... Author's Response: Who me? Nah I don't do cliffhangers... *agelic smile* Date: 12/29/2009 01:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: FishWings Haven't quite caught up yet but I gotta say this is a pretty dark, yet uplifting story so far. Isaac's character depicts every air of a shattered soul. Oh yeah, chptr 7 was particularly well done. You really revealed the tortured nature of Caleb [he has such a JOCK name LOL] and made us empathize with him, and understand his deep seated hatred for Isaac. Eep. Poison. Btw, you have a discussion forum for this right? Date: 12/29/2009 02:34 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: FishWings So. I just read the first chapter of your story and I have to say it is excellent. Jaden is SOOO adorable! “You....like me? But you don’t know me.” “I like looking at you because you are pretty.” LOL. I will probably gobble up this story sometime in the next twenty four hours. Author's Response: Thank you. I like Jaden a lot because he is kind of modelled on my own son This story is finished now although I haven't finished posting it yet and I am very pleased with the way it has turned out. I hope you will be too Date: 12/18/2009 06:08 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Wyndham So good to get another chapter. Maybe this will be what Isaac needs to get back on his feet again. Author's Response: It's the beginning of it. Only a couple of chapters left and a some major surprises... did I say surprises... more like shocks Thanks for continuing to read and review Date: 12/18/2009 10:42 AM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: bookjunky18 Isaac going back to the place where he had a very bad experience and was betrayed by the people he trusted, is vey brave. Despite his fear and terror of going back to the place where he had such a negative experience, he's willing to go back to the community and help the people who had previously turned their backs on him when he needed them the most. He's definitely the kind of person I would like to be friends with. Author's Response: Me too he's a sweetheart... but I would much rather sleep with Connor. Date: 12/18/2009 04:00 AM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: ghostofoldtrafford I love me an Irish accent. And the fact that the story itself is good certainly helps matters. Lots of emotion. Me likey! Author's Response: Thankee sir. Sure and don't oi just love de Oirish accent but it's hard to know when to stop so it is. When I'm writing this story I find myself walking around talking to myself in an Irish accent... and probably scaring everyone I meet half to death... but speaking it and writing it are two different things. I have been toning it down throught he story as people get the idea and the rhythm of it so I hope that I get the balance right. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story Date: 12/17/2009 05:16 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: anordwell I really like this chapter, there is no signs of the unstable Connor, the emotions are running high but no one is running from them. I hope Isaac can continue to be brave...and I eagerly wait to find out what mayhem Caleb cooked up. Author's Response: Connor, like many people is only unstable when he is dealing with his own shit. He can be strong for Isaac because he is one step removed. I am writing the next chapter right now and it is a difficult one for Isaac but the one just posted began the build up to the climax and there are only a few chapters left before the end so some things will build, some will ease and there is a shock at the end that I might get lynched for Date: 12/17/2009 11:04 AM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Rilbur I've let my school work drag me far behind where I should be on reading, but this is definitly a great story and I'm glad I've caught up! Author's Response: Fab.... thanks hun. I am glad you like it. There's some roller coaster ride to come yet before the end but we're getting closer. Thanks for sticking with me even through the strange Irish men Date: 12/10/2009 01:12 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Mykal <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> I love your work, and I especially like this story. I find it very distracting to have the Irish-speaking, folks like Connor, having "inner" dialogue in broken English. I expect it in a spoken way, but it doesn't help me follow the thought process when you describe what they're thinking. Just a thought. I really appreciate you sharing your work. I’m sure it’s a thankless task at times, but it certainly brings pleasure to my life and I am grateful for that. Have a great holiday season. Mike Author's Response: Thank you... that's about the best thing that an author could ever hear from a reader. I'm glad you like the story. I will tone down the 'Irishness' I guess you have the idea by now. Thanks for the thought... I hope you will have an awesome holiday season yourself Date: 12/07/2009 11:24 AM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: anordwell Wow...this chapter was certainly full of emotion...it didn't hit me quite as much though. I had a bit more distance from the story than I normally do I think from trying to read through Connor's accent. But the storyline was great, the new twist in the plot at the end has me itching for the next chapter...Isaac getting sucked back into that place doesn't seem like a good idea, no matter what their problems. Author's Response: It's going to be a struggle for him no doubt about that but he has Connor now. Yeah... that chapter was hard for me to write because of the same reason. I did wonder if I had bitten off more than I could chew with the accent. If my plan follows on as I see it at the moment there will be only one more chapter written from Connor's POV... the rest will be Isaac. I think there will be three more chapters to the story.. maybe one more we'll see how it pans out. Thanks for sticking with me even when it's difficult. Date: 12/06/2009 09:56 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: toussaint I really admire this story. The overall idea, of Zac recovering in hospital, regaining consciousness, and returning to reconstruct his life from the gates of hell is fantastic. Not only that, but the story moves back into his past and forward into an uncertain future at the same time. In this chapter, the introduction of Jaden as an angelic innocent child is a masterstroke. It allows Zac to provide a few details of his life, a few tidbits, whilst his interlocutor is both engaging and neutral. (And also part of the future story.) Never mind that there is a nineteen year old man spreadeagled to a hospital bed in front of him. LOL. To Jaden he is an old man. You write quite densely and I am finding it hard going. Not that that's a criticism, it's just not how I like to read. The first person narration is well done and really gets inside the heads of the characters and the switches are managed well. I can see what you mean that you are unsure where it is going, you have two big story arcs going back to reconstruct his life and also forward to rebuild it with Connor. Resolving the two will be difficult. At this point I have not read chapters 16--20, but I was naturally curious to see where you had got to. Are you near to the end? The word-count is dangerously close to the "usual" end for a novel! A tour-de-force, if a bit harrowing! Author's Response: Nowhere near the end yet... there is a long way to go. Isaac has only just started on his journey with Connor and there is heartache and joy ahead on that road. Also some old friends and an old enemy are about to invade on his new found stability and happiness. Isaac is going back while Connor is looking forward and then there is a higly explosive conclusion. So don't sit back on your laurels yet Date: 11/21/2009 03:58 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: Wyndham Wow! Can't wait for the next chapter. Date: 11/21/2009 11:06 AM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Wyndham Absolutely amazing story and you captured the Irish 'feel' perfectly. You are a very good story teller. Author's Response: Thank you. I am very glad you said that about the Irish feel. It's a very difficult balance sometimes to know how far to take it. I 'hear' the accent in my head and I try to render it faithfully. I have noticed that the Gaelic as a whole tend to be more free with tenses... for example tend to say 'I were' rahter than 'I was' and I drop a few in but run the risk of it coming over as an editing error rather that a faitful rendition. It was the same with all the idioms and phrases I put in at the beginning. Some people found it disconcerting and disconnecting from the story to have to keep referring to the notes so I have abandoned that and just gone on wiht the 'flavour' but again I was worried that people would miss the heavier dialogue.... this story is turning out to be harder to write than I thought... but it's worth it because I really like Connor and Isaac. I'm really glad you are enjoying them too Date: 11/20/2009 05:22 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: Fastreader Wow! Neph', you've really outdone several with this story...now that it's out of the hospital and into the 'falling' aspect of the new relationship that's forming, the pace has picked up to a point that the action is keeping interest! Author's Response: Thank you. I am really glad that the story is still interesting. There are several twists yet to come... Isaac is in for one big shock in the next chapter and an even bigger one in the one after. Both Isaac and Connor are changing, finding themselves in each other but they are about to find out just how different they are, how damaged and it's anyone's guess whether they will be able to overcome that. Date: 11/20/2009 04:14 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: anordwell Oh My Lord!! That was intense!!! I am so glad that Isaac told Connor what had happened to him before they did anything physical, it was so important for him to trust someone that way. The insight in Connor's character is enlightening. This is one of the best chapters I have read, even if you exclude the sex, which is just hot, hot, hot!! -Cia Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. I am glad that you are continuing to like my stuff. I really enjoyed writing that chapter although it is hard to stay in character with Connor and the way he speaks. I have decided to leave out the more colourful phrased and to keep them for just the times when the three Irish are together otherwise it is going to spoil the enoyment for me of the writing. I have a friend who is Irish and I am trying to keep the sound of his voice in my head when I write Connor and write it the way Dee would say it. I hope it's transposing to the page ok. Of course if I really wrote it as Connor, fresh from the emerald Isle would ACTUALLY have spoken then no one would understand a word of it. Make the most of the respite because things are not going to be sunshine and roses all the way for these two... at least there will be sunburn and thorns. Date: 11/20/2009 10:47 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: anordwell I was just wondering last night when I was going to get to see a new chapter of this..I was very excited to see the update. Thanks for finally answering the song question, that was like a little nag in the back of my head. I am waiting, bated breath, for the "talk" cause I Connor has issues, but wow, so does Isaac. It should be very entertaining!!! Author's Response: I think it probably will Thanks for reading and reviewing. It's always a pleasure Date: 11/09/2009 03:35 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: abbillion I LOVE this story! Isaac is an emotional mess and so is Connor! They are perfect for each other. Maybe their healing will begin when they help the other. Oh, and the fact that Connor is dangerous makes him all the hotter in my book! Great writing! Author's Response: Yeah... Connor is VERY hot... and, frankly not as dangerous as everyone goes on about... at least not to anyone but himself. Next time we get to learn a bit about his story and the healing begins for both of them. And you're right. They are good for each other. Date: 11/09/2009 12:48 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 Ha, I picked up the line by Grams on Connor... Thank god... cousins is a bit weird if by blood lol. I understand that Connor is a predator, but I have a feeling even a guy like him is biting off more than he can chew with a guy like Issac. Kind of like Marc in To Have and to Hold I love the black hair/blue eyes combo, but long hair doesn't do it for me--but I know it does for you! haha Author's Response: Oh yeah... it does it for me I always put my ideal man into my stories.. well a bit of him at least... why wouldn't I? How could I write with passion about characters I am not passionate about? Connor is certainly in for some surprised. To be frank he doesn't quite know what to do with Isaac but he is not quite the cool calm self assured arrogant prat he appears at times. Lots more surprises to come. As always thanks for the review. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. The party is next and that was so much fun to write... I hope it is as much fun to read. Date: 10/06/2009 04:07 AM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Fastreader Well, well, well...my dear Nephy' your introduction of the semi-local patois was a delightful change to the telling of this little yarn... Having heard some of these expressions long ago in other stories set in the area I can tell you that it was a refreshing change to have gram's dialect set to words. The 'boys' descriptions were somewhat general, but I take it we're talking tall and athletic? (with the 'goodlooking' taken for granted?) Fastreader, aka KJames Author's Response: It is my opinion that sometimes graphic descriptions interfere with the reader's ability to visualise. Part of the joy of reading as opposed to watching a film for example is the ability to mould the characters to our own personal ideas of what we WANT them to look like. This is something I have been experimenting quite a bit with lately. Sometimes... such as in Dangerous Liaisons a graphic description is necessary because I want to make an impact with it, although you will notice that it is only Daniel I hae describled in detail. In Curved Balls I don't describe any of them at all, not really, except perhaps Taz. I have a very strong impression of what Declan and Connor look like and I think it becomes more obvious as the story progresses but apart from Declan tall with spiky red hair and startling green eyes and Connor tall and lithe with long black curling (NOT curly) hair .... ie examples of the two 'classic' Irish blueprints... there is little physical description because I like to leave it up to the reader's imagination. To Isaac they are both beautiful and strange and frightening. Make up your own minds Thank you for the review and the endorsement of the Irish dialogue. I am trying to strike a balance and will keep the flavour throughout. I was hard to water it down, especially in the chapters written from Connor's POV but be sure to give me a shout if it gets too much. Thanks again... also for the headsup on your real identiy... I would never have guessed Date: 10/06/2009 03:09 AM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Inuberry The Irish was okay. I could read it, I think, because I'm used to country grammar. Sometimes, I was like, o.O?..But I got the meaning of the conversations. I don't know, for me, I could read it straight out (with correct grammar), and still have the understanding that Isaac doesn't understand them. I think it's up to you. But yeah, amazing chapter! I was so happy when I saw it was updated. To me, the story is reaching it's billionth climax. I'm excited to find out what Isaac will do with his COUSIN? Eh. For some reason, I don't see them as COUSINS, even thuogh they are. >.< I think I'll just keep that out of my mind... And is Connor the one with the curls? Or the spiky hair? I got confused. >.< Thanks for the update. :DDDDDD - Janee' Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I am trying to keep the Irishness in balance. I LOVE the Irish accent so I want to do it justice. Connor is the one with the black hair and blue eyes. As to whether he is Isaac's cousin... well you will have to read on and find out. Connor is the cool one... Declan is the spiky passionate fiery one. Next time it's the party... that's was sooooo much fun to write and I hope it is as much fun to read. Date: 10/05/2009 10:28 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: taina1959 Being that my first language is spanish and not english, I can comprehend what they are saying pretty well. I had to laugh at the second paragraph, you had me giggling like a silly school girl! And the cousins? They need to be taught a lesson or two. Well, at least Connor does. Declan? Well, I haven't heard enough of him to make my mind but I hope he's totally oposite of Connor! He's totally imprudent and sounds cold hearted which makes his outside beauty quite ugly in my book! Author's Response: Declan is a sweetheart. Connor is dangerous...haven't I already told you so. Not cold though, definately not cold. You just wait Date: 10/05/2009 05:39 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Inuberry This story is amazing, and I love following it. It's poetic..and..capturing..and enchanting. Just...yeah, any other adjectives you can think of that's synonymous with good. The only thing that kind of..rubs me the wrong way, would be...Isaac's loss of faith. (Keep in mind, I'm reviewing after reading chapter 11, and I don't know if things change. I doubt it...) It just saddens me that Isaac lost his faith, and i just want to comfort him. That might sound silly, but I would just tell him how God was with him the whole time, and truthful things like that. Maybe I'm dumb, haha. It's just a little sad for me. But otherwise, this story is GREAT. You're just an awesome writer. I wish my vocabulary was better, so that I could think of more exciting and precise words to describe your writing. - Janee' Author's Response: Thank you. You have plenty of vocabulary to make me smile and I really appreciated what you had to say. Isaac was brought up in a community where faith was confused with blindly following through fear. He equates faith with the way he was treated. He put his faith in his family and they let him down. He put his faith in his community.. and it let him down. He put his faith in justice and that let him down. Everyone and everything let him down. God was not there for him, at least not in his mind,... no one was. As he begins to start to relax and trust again he begins to have faith in people and that is a start... who knows where it might lead. Date: 10/03/2009 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: semaj565 Zac is just too cute. He's the kind of guy you just want to care for and protect. I can tell this is going to be a pretty long story, but nothing like some delayed satisfaction. Makes it all the more sweeter Author's Response: There's still a lot to go. I'm at chapter 20 so far and only just warming up. Isaac is in for a rocky ride but from here it is... mostly... in good way Yeah... I wanted very badly to get that impression over... of people wanting to protect Isaac... it's important later on thanks for reading, noticing and commenting. Date: 10/01/2009 02:17 AM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Fastreader Nephy', I'm so glad we're finally getting into the beginning of the end with the 'extended' hospital stay. The realization by Isaac that Jon & Sean are together is a beacon for him, apparently, to greater understanding that he is not alone for being 'different'. Author's Response: I don't think I am giving away too much if I tell you that this is the last chaper with Isaac in the hospital. Next time he is going somewhere quite different, in oh so many ways. We get to meet some new characters who... erm... let's just say he gets kind of blown away. Thanks for sticking with me and I'm glad you're enjoying the story Date: 10/01/2009 02:15 AM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Emulated A great chapter here, Nephylim! I'm absolutely loving Jon and Sean. Even though we hardly know them, I was already grinning madly when Sean asked him the question. They're so likable, and so...I dunno, they're just wonderful. Exactly what Isaac needs. I really hope Isaac goes with them, at least just to see his family, before he decides on where to call 'home'. Keep them coming! Author's Response: I like Jon and Sean too. They are... I don't know... real. I think what it is that they are stable when Isaac so clearly isn't. They will be good for him, no doubt. But Isaac's attempt to find... and keep.. a home are to take him on a hell of a journey before he finds his true home. Date: 09/12/2009 04:53 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Emulated Another brilliant chapter here, Nephylim! I love the chapters from Isaac's viewpoint. It's great to see how he's feeling inside, rather than how he looks. Again, this chapter raises some big questions, but more importantly, perhaps there's some light at the end of the tunnel after all! (Well, for Isaac anyway!) Great stuff! Author's Response: There is always light at the end of the tunnel... although sometimes it's a train Date: 09/12/2009 04:50 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Emulated I did NOT see that one coming! Wow, you really pulled the wool over our eyes there! My mind is just swimming with possibilities now! I can't wait to see how this develops! Great chapter! Author's Response: This has been a very exciting story to write and the surprises keep coming. There is more... so much more. But Jon and Sean are fab guys Date: 09/12/2009 04:45 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Emulated Wow, Nephylim! You blew me away with that one! ;-) Perhaps it's just me, but I think that was your best chapter yet of this story! Some awesome stuff in there, especially the 'nightmare' scene at the end. Beautifully crafted and well performed. Thank you for sharing this! Author's Response: Glad you liked it. I think it was one of my favourite scenes too. Writing that dream sequence was fun. I can get biblican on your asses sometimes even though I am not a Christian Isaac has a long way to go but he is about to make a real start on the journey. Date: 09/02/2009 06:30 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Emulated Isaac has family? Wow! I definitely didn't see that one coming! Let us hope that they are indeed the 'nice' people that Rick believes they are. Good stuff! ;-) Author's Response: Oh they are. No spoilers but they are just what he needs right now. A bit more than he can cope with but aren't all families like that sometimes? Date: 09/02/2009 06:20 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 Ha... I just realized that all of my favorite stories that I'm currently reading on this site are all written by you! Great job and keep up the good work I'm excited for what's coming up! Author's Response: Oh wow, that is wonderful. I am so honoured. I am so glad that you loke the way I write and the stories I am posting. I will try to keep the standard high and not disappoint Date: 08/24/2009 05:19 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Emulated Excellent chapter, Nephylim! All the usual suspects are here, the brilliant story, the emotions, and the heart-felt characters. It's all great! Can't wait for Chapter 10! ;-) Author's Response: Thank you for continuing to read and comment. it really means a lot. This part of the story frankly worries me... from this chapter on the drama subsides and it focuses on other things... how people cope with the unfolding revelations and then there is a blossoming love... for someone. But it is more gently, less exciting and I am concerned it goes flat. SO be sure to tell me if it does and give my any ideas or comment that come to mind about how to stop it Date: 08/23/2009 05:38 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: semaj565 surgery then? Author's Response: Nope...not of the surgical kind ... maybe of the emotional kind Date: 08/18/2009 05:22 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Rilbur Another great chapter! Author's Response: Thank you. Sometimes it seems that there is too much 'filler' to get from one place to the next. I am glad that it is not just cement and that you enjoy thee bits too. I try to make sure that something new is introduced in each chapeter but this one is more of a setting the groundwork for something later on than actually introducing sometime new. Date: 08/18/2009 12:36 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Emulated Poor Isaac! You are evil! Really evil! ;-) Even so, I still find myself oddly attracted to this story. Great work, Nephylim. It has been, and continues to be, brilliant! Keep it coming! Author's Response: Yep, I am aren't I? And I get worse.... oh yes!! Date: 08/08/2009 03:06 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Rilbur Nice trick with that SOB Caleb. I sure hope Issac comes out OK, though. Another great chapter, and I'm looking forward to more. Date: 08/06/2009 03:20 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: David McLeod A serious psychological thriller that will send your heart, too, racing in both anticipation and fear. Deliciously complex and detailed characterization. More and more mystery. Wonderful! Author's Response: Thank you. I hope I don't 'front load' the mystery too much. A lot goes on at the beginning and then it calms down, athough there are more mysteries and Caleb isn't done yet. Date: 08/02/2009 12:57 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Emulated Wow! That was one hell of a surprise! But all my fault? Don't say that, Nephylim! Leave Isaac alone! ;-) I don't think that he's been caught, I reckon he managed to escape in the height of the moment. Author's Response: I'll make a deal with you.... if Isaac dies I will leave him alone. If not, I won't Date: 08/01/2009 02:50 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Rilbur Caleb really is a rat bastard. I'm glad he got caught... and now the question is attempted murder, or murder one. Author's Response: Indeed.... Date: 07/31/2009 10:44 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Emulated I'm loving the story Nephylim! It's beautifully thought out and well written. The emotions run deep throughout, keeping the pace constant and fluid. (In response to what you said below) Isaac is a great character, but I hope you're wrong, I want things to get better for him, not worse! ;-) Great story! ;-) Author's Response: Sorry to dissapoint you. But you did want to see more of Caleb So it's all your fault :) Date: 07/28/2009 11:06 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Rilbur Well, if it weren't for the end notes I'd think you were bringing this story to a close. Poor Issac, he's had a hard road to date, and it doesn't get much better. Rape trauma... I didn't realize, before I started reasearching ofr my stroy, just how deep, and horrible, rape trauma truly is. I pity him. Author's Response: Oh Isaac's story isn't over yet, not by a long ahot. It isn't going to get any better for a while either Date: 07/25/2009 10:13 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Rilbur Hey, no fair! You still haven't told us what really happened! Come'on, you can't keep us in the dark forever... can you? Can you?! Author's Response: Weeelll.... I might. But then again.... Date: 07/15/2009 09:29 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Rilbur What a fascinating story! I really, really, can't wait to get to the truth about this whole thing! Author's Response: Thank you. Truth...now there's a concept. The truth will out... eventually ... and then the shit really hits the fan Thanks for your review, i really appreciate every one Date: 07/08/2009 12:47 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Timmy Author's Response: "Depends what he was confessing huh?" lol. What I meant to say was... "Great chapter(3). Though the “I.... I.... I didn’t mean.... I shouldn’t have.... I....”....almost sounds like a confession(to the rape), when if fact his mind was in another place(and probably regretting the conversation, or probably remembering something that he's done supposedly "inappropriate" with another boy, and possibly caught caught, or the boy freaked out, and ratted him out, or something else. I have a million other guesses.lol). But to the doc, it might have sounded(kinda) like a confession(to the rape). I hope not.lol." There we go. : ) Now, on to chapter 4 I go. Author's Response: Keep guessing. Keep reading. I love it when people actually talk about what I write and get interested in the people I write about. Isaac has some confessing to do.... but about what... well you'll just have to keep reading to find out. Date: 07/07/2009 02:16 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: taina1959 I know what it's like been in a hospital bed in the same situation as Isaac but without the blood or gashes but with the same feeling of (betrayal? Betrayal because someone is trying to take you back to what it was like before...) not wanting to wake up for waking up would mean the nightmares, the pain, the helplessness will continue. I feel for the boy in your mind. Author's Response: Thank you for sharing that. I hope it wasn't too difficult to read. it's always great to read reviews especially when something i have written manages to touch someone. it's an amazing feeling. thank you. Date: 07/02/2009 01:56 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: taina1959 Timmy: If it is so that the doctor IS a mind reader, which it's what it looks like according to the nurse, then he would know whether Isaac is confessing to a crime or not which of course, we are hoping he was just trying to say that he didn't mean to take the blame or that he shouldn't have listen to the elders of the community or just simply, whilst drug induced, he's simply confused, perhaps delusional at moment. Date: 07/02/2009 01:49 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Timmy Great chapter. Though the “I.... I.... I didn’t mean.... I shouldn’t have.... I....”....almost sounds like a confession, when if fact his mind was in another place. But to the doc, it might have sounded(kinda) like a confession. I hope not.lol. Author's Response: Depends what he was confessing huh? Date: 07/01/2009 10:07 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: taina1959 Great chapter! Makes one wonder, what happens to those who are discovered to be gay in a community like that one in your story where in their believes there is no room for such 'sinful' ways. I feel for Isaac but know the good doctor is going to do good for him. Bring on the next chapter girl! Author's Response: Thank you. It may be lucky for Isaac that he is no longer a member of the commuity then mighten't it? Date: 07/01/2009 08:39 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: hh5 Yup thats torcher alright and sad. Author's Response: I hope that's sad in a good way Date: 06/26/2009 07:30 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod Very interesting. The child's curiosity (tempered with a somewhat more-than-childlike wisdom, hmm?) makes an excellent foil to the presumed protagonist. There are so many places this could go...all of them, I think, exciting. Author's Response: You'd be surprised how wise some children can be. I have modelled him on my son who is the same age I have no idea where the story is going ultimately... It's already been down quite a few roads who knows where it will end up. Thank you for readng and reviewing. Date: 06/25/2009 03:38 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: asp2793 Wow I really wanna know who set Issac up. And what the rest of his face looks like besides his eyes. And the Jaden is to funny. That child curiosity just doesnt stop. I hope we get to see more because this has potential to be really good. Author's Response: Don't worry, you'll get more. Thanks for the review, I truly appreciate every single one Date: 06/25/2009 12:40 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 I can relate to the part of the premise of being betrayed but really being taken advantage of. I guess we sort of torture ourselves. We fail to understand that there are people that have their own agenda and thus are less considerate of who we are. I wonder if Issac wish if he could go back in time to change his life? or is he just to hurt about how his life is in the present. Author's Response: I think there are things in this that everyone can relate to. We have all been betrayed at some point by someone. I agree that we tend to torture ourselves and.. believe me the person who betrayed Isaac most certainly had his own agenda.... as you will find out. I don't think Isaac, at any point in the story wishes he could change his life, although his life most certainly has changed, and will change beyond anything he could ever have imagined. Date: 06/24/2009 08:57 AM

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm "He wanted a challenge, someone to stimulate him as well as pleasure him." -- what a nauseous thought! Very disturbing, and Adam's sweetness is sickening. *sighs* However, what bothers me now isn't Adam's evilness. It is his lack of subtlety that genius psychos usually have. You make it clear that he can fool Nye but not everyone else, which is, to me, not dark enough! In this chapter (where's a "rape" warning?), there are signs of carelessness that can be detected and deduced. You may argue that Adam doesn't care what other people think of him, but surely subtlety is one of the risk management techniques that minimise suspicion and attention from the victims' families as well as law authorities (Where's damage control? A typical psycho should be really worried about Mir's discovery). Y'know subtlety is like psychology 101 for sadistic manipulators. (Oops - by writing this review, I reveal to you how evil I am LOL). With that being said, there is nothing wrong with the characterisation. It's just that Adam is not kinda abuser that I "like" Author's Response: The fact is that Adam doesn't think he is doing anything wrong at all. Later on you will see why (maybe) The experiences Adam has been through and the way he has risen to where he is now make him beleive that he has the absolute right to behave as he behaves. Yes he is a manipulator and he knows how to manipulate Nye, but he almost does it unconsciously without even considering that that is what he is doing. In his own world he is a king and he really doesn't care about the world outside. He is part of a huge concern possibly akin to the Mafia so he has no fear of the police or anyone else. Also he is totally and utterly sure of his power over Nye. WHy would he worry about Mir when he knows that Nye will be more than happy to swear that he is happy with Adam if the need arises Adam simply isn't very subtle as he doesn't think he needs to be. The story was intended from the start to explore this kind of manipulation and abuse, the kind that keeps victims of domestic violence with their abusers way beyond reason. Nothing subtle there. I love the way your mind works however and I would love to read one of your abusers I am sure I would love them. Bear in mind though that we are only just warming up. It's great to know there is another evil genius around Date: 10/28/2010 09:43 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LOL! Adam is soooo sweet! (+) I love the plot and the dynamics between the characters. Adam is a very interesting character, more like a not-so-subtle Dr. Hannibal Lecter. The mystery is delicious. I really wanna know how Adam brainwashed Nye. There's something psychologically powerful in here, something sick, but deliciously sick. Really! I love that this piece of writing is disturbing (a good sign of a good horror story). (-) Re: the opening horror scene, I'm not sure whether "the view from within" is really horrifying. Why did you have Nye blindfolded? I wish I could have read something more graphic! Also, seeing one's own pathetic state would be a little more psychologising (unless Adam had an ulterior motive of not doing so). Finally, you stated the obvious on a number of occasions, and that makes the horribleness less effective. Overall, I enjoy the chapter very much. You're a talented writer, with well-flowing narration and a magnetizing plot. I'm pretty sure that you hold back the dramatic suspense to build it up in future chapters. Author's Response: OH YEAH. The story is not really about horror. It's about the psychology of manipulation and abuse. The horror is quiet often in the mind. Although I think you will find that there is plenty of it on the outside too as you get into it. Date: 10/24/2010 06:04 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Agaith My word, i saved my review until the end. It was an incredible story, the range of emotions and the intensity of them was exquisite. The 'scenes' as i will call them were graphic but, and I hope I dont sound sick saying this, but I found it weirdly interesting. I would never indulge in anything related to that world but I feel I have a better understanding and therefore can better understand people's decisions to want ot participate in this (although im guessing not always to this extreme). This is a powerful story Nephy and one that shows just how powerful a writer you are. Keep it up girl Author's Response: Thank you hun. Of course I don't think you're sick... unless you think I'm sick for writing it and getting a kick out of it when I did. I have never indulged in anything to this degree either, anything like this degree but I have seen it and the people who indulged had a wonderful time. I won't say that it is never as it was portrayed here but I have certainly never seen the kinds of pain and disregard that I wrote about. In a lot of ways the BDSM was simply a backdrop against I was exploring the emotions that were going on and the relationship between Adam and Nye, I loved writing it and I am really really glad that you enjoyed it Thank you for your comment. Date: 10/21/2010 05:29 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: phana14 Oh, Nephy, It is a good thing that you and I live SO far away from each other. Only that fact and the last two chapters could keep me from smashing my fist into your chest and RIPPING your heart out; as you have done to mine, throughout this story. You have a dark, DARK! mind. But, God! What a story it turned out to be!!! Thank you much! Author's Response: Um... thanks ???? See... I told you I was evil I risk your wrath by mentioning that this story was incredibly fun to write. So there you are... evil throught and through. Take heart in the fact that this is by far the darkest story I have ever written Nothing like this in any of the others. And most certainly no such darkness in Hostage so you're safe to read.... and I'm safe too *gulp* Although.... if you are after my heart you should remember that vapires are heartless and soulless creatures... so good luck finding one Date: 06/05/2010 03:31 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy!!! You are SO not well!!!! I think I'll just go over next door and cry on "Momma's" shoulder. *SOBS* Author's Response: Ahhh... but did you enjoy it I make no secret of my darker side but for some reason people keep not believing I am the queen of evil... believe... believe. Date: 06/05/2010 09:08 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Tiger That is a wonderful story. Some parts must have been difficult to write. I'm happy about how things turned out in the end. At some points, I wondered if it would end in tragedy. Luckily, it didn't. Author's Response: It depends. It was quite tragic for Adam. To say I grew fond of him by the end is not quite right but he was awesome to write. I'm glad you liked the story. Seeing a review from you makes my day.... and I thought you might like this one Actually it's wasn't difficult to write, not at all. I found it to be great fun and quite sexy. What does that say about me? Date: 03/11/2010 11:04 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Tiger Oh, I really hate Adam now. He is the scum of the Earth. If only Nye could see him for who and what he really is. Author's Response: He can't, for all sorts of reasons. I think that ultimately he never does, not really. Wait and see Date: 03/11/2010 03:04 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Tiger This story keeps getting better. I know it's been a while, but I've been busy as you know. Adam is evil in my mind, perhaps not as evil as Lian, but whatever he's up to surely won't be good for Nye. I hope Nye wakes up before it's too late. Author's Response: Oh yeah. Adam is such a shit. I LOVED writing him. He's immoral, cruel, utterly selfish and heartless... but I think he's awesome. Of course I am totally in love with Nye but he's a bit of a wimp sometimes and there are definitely times when I feel that I want to slap him. Date: 03/11/2010 02:28 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Carl DaVinci Oh my word, I can't wait to read more. And ironically it's really Adam who's making me not want to read and read all at the same time. Powerful stuff Nephy. And boy do I have a long way to go.... Author's Response: WOW... thanks Yeah... Adam is a pretty complex character. Undeniably evil but... And yeah... you are only at the start of the journey, there's a long way to go yet. I'll speak to you again if you make it to the end Seriously... thanks for reading and reviewing Date: 02/11/2010 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Wyndham Yes I can breathe at last..... Nehyplim, what did you do to me? I was crying at the end! Lovely story - well at least the ending was lovely Such amazing writing. Author's Response: Awww... that was so sweet of you hun. Sorry I made you cry... well no I'm not because isn't that what authors want... to move people. Glad you enjoyed it anyway and it was really nice of you to say that about my writing. I get really insecure sometimes Date: 02/11/2010 04:06 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: John Doe What an oddly intense story. I've always wanted to write a story like this... well you know abuse = love kind of thing. This is a great reference. Hehehehe. Thanks for sharing. I've enjoyed the ride. Author's Response: WOW.. being used as reference... that's awesome, such a compliment. I am glad you enjoyed the story and you've certainly got one of the themes. I think the main theme is... or was intended to be how a strong person can be drawn into something that they just can;t get out of because of extreme manipulation. Every time things get worse for Nye he had to re evaluate his relationship with Adam and every time his decisions were pre empted and manipulated by Adam taking him step by step down the spiral to complete domination. The very fact that he manged to pull out of it at the end shows how strong he is. I am glad you enjoyed the story thanks so much for reviewing. Date: 02/10/2010 10:56 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: anordwell Sigh...such a great story Nephy. Loved it, more comments to come in the forum on this tomorrow. I couldn't wait to say how much I loved it though! Author's Response: I always cherish your reviews Cia and I appreciate each and every one of them. Date: 02/10/2010 09:55 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: jhol7689 Nye seemed to portrait me as im easily used and tricked sometimes but edventualy learn to trust people who will stand by you no matter what. That was an awsome ending and glad it turend out to be a happy one too:] Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Nye was or was supposed to be a very strong person (which is why he managed to keep his personality and recover in the end) who was manipulated and trapped. Once he was in the trap his dedication and devotion to Adam was used against him as manipulative people often do. There is nothing wrong with being innocent and naive. The world is better for people like that it's only a shame that they are not cherished more. I am also the sort of person who trusts too easily and gets drawn into situations I find it hard to get out of something. We're needed so carry on looking at the world through rose coloured glasses but be careful who you give your trust to I am so lad you enjoyed the story and grateful for your review. Date: 02/10/2010 08:49 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: eliotmoore Sure we can breath and you brought us to a wonderful end, thanks.It was important to me that Nye remain affected by his experiences. It makes the story that much more authentic to me. Thank you for sharing this with us. If you are still interested, this is the link to Hound: http://nifty.guiltygroups.com/nifty/bisexual/authoritarian/hound/ Author's Response: Of course I'm interested. It sounds like an awesome story and I like to return favours. Thank you for reading... I know it wasn't an easy story to read.... and even more for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the end. I didn't think that anyone could walk away from that unscathed either Date: 02/10/2010 08:24 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Jabberjaw What a great story. I was on the edge of my seat and waiting for every chapter. You are a gifted writer and I hope you continue to contribute on the web site for a long time in the future. I will miss waiting reading the next of Love in Chains Author's Response: Thank you so much. That was an awesome review. I'm glad you like the story. This was a huge experiment and I'm glad it came off. I am really glad you enjoyed it, and very grateful for your comment. Date: 02/10/2010 07:44 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Tiger Adam makes me sick! He's a monster. Still, it was a good chapter. Date: 02/07/2010 11:15 AM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: eliotmoore Every story needs an end even if it is not the end to the characters lives. They must seem to continue in the reader's mind (as my characters have in mine). The major conflict is being resolved. I wrote an edgy story called "Hound" about abuse and bondage. It was both as dark as yours and yet far less violent. The victim finds safety and love, but he remains shaped by his experience. This has been a good story, thanks. Author's Response: It's not quite over yet. There is one more chapter. I am glad you like it though and I would like to read your story... do you have a reference? Link? Date: 02/04/2010 07:23 AM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: jjptex Ending of sorts? Eeeeeeeeek! I no likey!!! Author's Response: Don't worry... the next chapter will end it. Date: 02/04/2010 01:43 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jjptex Ok like everybody else I TOTALLY HATE Adam - at one stage I was kinda into Adam but the things he did to Nye irked me somin awful! Through all this has been Kane who has really stepped up to the plate for Nye and I hope he can be there for Nye to face whatever - WHOEVER might have left to throw at them in the final chapter. Btw - Where is yalls comments page? I want to post questions to it but cannot find Waaaaaaah! Love from Joey~ Author's Response: You should be able to find it now because Connor commented on it. It's in the efiction discussion thread. i would give you a link but I don't know how. Thanks for reading and commenting. This is my 'worst' story in realtion to the violence and abuse but they were totally needed for me to examine the psychological issues I was aiming for. Date: 02/04/2010 01:41 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Tiger Good story so far! I will try to read at least a chapter a day until I catch up! I think this is a good topic as well, not some much the BDSM part but the manipulation. Too often young adults and teens get caught up in unhealthy relationships in which they are basically puppets to a master manipulator. Author's Response: Thanks hun... that is exactly what the story is about... why a strong character would allow themselves to be abused and used. Manipulation and subversion. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you like the rest of the story. Date: 02/03/2010 09:46 PM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: anordwell Oh, that was a great chapter! Parts of it were so sweet and reassuring, but there are still so many questions. I am a bit surprised they didn't clean Nye up more, but enh. I keep thinking the story is going to end in the next chapter but you still manage to bring up thing and nuances I didn't even think about! Oh, and way to go Mir!! I love her Author's Response: They don't. It's something that has always suprised me. I would have thought that it would be a fairly first priority after saving life, but hey... who am I to argue? I like Mir too... she's a feisty little thing. The next chapter answers most of the questions and it brings the story to an end... kind of Date: 02/03/2010 10:53 AM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: anordwell What did he lie about??? Gah!!! Excellent chapter! Please don't torture us too long! Author's Response: He told Adam that he'd found the intact poison capsule Well I think that considering the torture Nye has gone through it's only fair that you shoud suffer for a while. Next chapter we find out if Nye gets out alive... and if so whether he would have been better off dead Date: 01/29/2010 06:00 PM Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: eliotmoore If you kill poor Nye off you better have another little glass ball to use on yourself man! This certainly was a climatic chapter. Thanks for your story. Author's Response: Hehe. Thanks for sticking with it. You won't have long to wait to find out what happens to Nye.... well kind of. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. The worst is over... well in so far as the scary stuff... the rest is... different. Thank you for your review. Date: 01/27/2010 09:43 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor This is the best writing I've read for ages. Not a word wrong. Every phrase perfectly designed for maximum effect. No word could be added or removed without spoiling it. And yet it is horrifying. I read it before bed and had disturbed dreams. I still feel a bit sick. Such is the power of this prose. You tell me to enjoy it, I can't, but I do appreciate it and will read on. But Nye had better be saved! Author's Response: Sorry I gave you bad dreams. The worse is over... in a manner of speaking. Things change radically from here on... whether that ends in Nye being saved, Adam being punised Liam being squashed like bug, Jon being redeemed and Kane getting a shag... well that's something you are going to have to read on to find out. Date: 01/19/2010 07:35 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: eliotmoore Still with you on this one. Its moving forward. More next time. Author's Response: I'm glad you're still with me. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster hasn't it. The climax is building and I can promise it will be an explosive one. Unexpected events coming up Thanks for the review. Date: 01/18/2010 10:36 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: anordwell Ben is so brave. I'm glad that Jon allowed himself to do what I would guess he really wants to do, help out and get out of the "life". If he was truly as hopeless as he says he would not have money hidden and he would not have approached Nye as many times as he did. I hope that those idiot police listen this time! Great chapter Nephy! Author's Response: Even though he only appears briefly I like Ben a lot. He is a figure of hope. The end is coming for Nye. Question is... what will the end be? Next chapter brings us a lot closer to the climax Date: 01/18/2010 04:08 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: jhol7689 i hope nye gets rescued lol this club/buissness spells trouble XD Author's Response: Well... Date: 01/15/2010 12:27 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: anordwell Oh, that was horrible. Poor Nye. I hope that he isn't broken forever, that sort of physical and mental torture with subconscious suggestions...yikers! I hope that Kane and Mir will be able to save Nye, and tell those cops where to stick it, the cretins. Author's Response: Nye's strong, very strong, and he has more friends than he thinks he has. The story changes from here. The worst is over... maybe Date: 01/15/2010 09:01 AM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: eliotmoore Yikes! Evil walks the earth. Author's Response: Yes I do Seriously... it's surprising how many people there are out there like Lian. Don't worry though, he gets his Date: 01/12/2010 07:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: John Doe WAH! Your disclaimers are true! Such pain. Heheh but is it bad that I was grinning while I read some of it. >.<v Great stuff. Author's Response: Absolutely not. After all I was grinning when I wrote it. What was really scary was finding out how much I knew about this Thanks for reading and... er enjoying Date: 01/12/2010 01:15 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephylim you are scary! This story is great but also unnerving. This sort of stuff is not normally my 'thing' at all but your writing is so good I can't resist..... Author's Response: Would it help if I told you that it has a happy ending? I could do that if you like... just for you... I might even be telling the truth. It gets a bit more upbeat in the next chapter when we move to Kane and Mir and the rescue effort. Problem is... Date: 01/12/2010 12:46 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: anordwell This chapter is very intense. I feel so badly for Luke and pray that Adam comes to his senses. Lian is just evil Nephy! Author's Response: Yes... he most certainly is. He's is wholly and completely and absolutely evil to the bone. The fact that he was made that way is irrlevant. So was Luke. I hope that the story makes it clear that they both have a similar background but turned out very different. One of the things I want the story to show is that there is only so far you can go blaming your background for the bad things you do when there are others who have shared the same fate and come out of it stronger. Lian gets what he deserves... or maybe he doesn't Date: 01/12/2010 12:34 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jhol7689 i loved it! My kind of story;) Author's Response: Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's building towards a climax now... just like one of the characters Date: 01/01/2010 11:01 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: anordwell I hope Kane comes back with a damn army and levels that building! Great chapter Nephy! Author's Response: Not quite. Funny you should mention a building getting levelled though Date: 01/01/2010 10:07 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: anordwell Oh poor Nye and Kane. It seems like things are coming to a head in this story too. Wow, so much truth for Nye to realize, I hope that it gives him resolve instead of breaking him. I can't wait to find out what happens next! Author's Response: Nye is stronger than he looks... Kane is more resourceful than he looks... Adam is even more of a bastard than he looks and nothing is as simple as it seems. What happens next is.... big. Date: 12/31/2009 04:30 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: eliotmoore Nice, this next part will not be as easy as calling a cab and going home for a month's rest and recreation though. Illusions might be stripped away, but the rational mind contends with emotion. I realize Adam is damaged goods. His own struggle to find love in the context of his background is sad. Somehow, I don't hate him. You have injected enough humanity in him to make a reader feel some compassion. He is toxic and such people are to be avoided. As his employees remark, he will break everything he comes in contact with. My plea for a contrasting relationship was motivated by curiosity.I have this sense your Nye wants something of this kind but Adam has pushed his so far so fast I cannot tell exactly when Nye stumbled in confusion over his personal line. I wonder, without trying to apply influence, if you will lead Nye back to the healthy side of this world or whether he will reject it completely. Thanks for continuing to write. Author's Response: He will at least try. I am amazed and so gratified that my story has got you wondering, as though the characters are real, which to me they are. There's a long way to go yet and no, it will not be simple for Nye to get away for all kinds of reasons. He tries... he really does but... some things are outside his control and Adam doesn't work by the same rules as everyone else I hope you continue to read and enjoy and that it will all make sense in the end. Date: 12/28/2009 09:09 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: anordwell Of course it's not what we think, Nephy...that would be too easy. This chapter was quite intriguing and stimulating...great job! Author's Response: Thank you. It's always a thrill and a pleasure to see your reviews. Nothing is easy about this story Date: 12/19/2009 09:55 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: eliotmoore Okay I will start this off. Nye had all the earmarks of someone still drugged. Perhaps the brainwashing is to blame. This is not a world I am familiar with, I suppose that is why I am reading your story. I love contrasts and juxtapositions, without one in this case I am finding it difficult to understand how far Adam is straying over the line. I am looking for what might pass for a healthy relationship here. Couples who have achieved an understanding and balance or different roles. Why did I think Kane and Nye might be familiar with each other's bodies. I suppose Nye might be so befuddled that his perception failed him, but it seems like Kane's body would be pretty familiar territory to him. The chapter left my heart pounding, just the tension of it all. Author's Response: Of course Nye is still drugged. After all of the chemicals that have passed through his body over the last couple of weeks as well as the mental conditioning it is only his strong character that is keeping him in touch with who he is let alone who anyone else is. There is no healthy relationship between Nye and Adam. Adam is so screwed up with what has happened to him in his life... bearing in mind that he was 'trained' by Lian... that he doesn't know what a healthy relationship is. For him it is all about control. I have, I hope, taken pains to point out that this is not about what bdsm is really all about. The story is about the characters set in a world and not the world itself This is extreme in every sense of the word and I would hate for anyone to think that this is what it's like for everyone. Of course there are elements of what it's really like but this is about as extreme as it gets. This is about abuse... mental and physical, the effects, short and long term and the way it screws with people, otherwise strong people. I am glad you found the chapter exciting. The next one will be too but in a completely different way. There are healthy relationships in this story and I hope that in the end they will shine through. There will be true love and friendship and sacrifice. The darkness is deep but it is not impenetrable. Stick with me and find out how gold can gleam even in the midst of the dirt. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 12/18/2009 11:45 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: eliotmoore I'm ready for the tables to turn but I know you will be stringing us along for a while longer. Author's Response: Maybe not. Adam is pretty confident right now and so ripe for a bit of a bringing down to size. He may have bitten off more than he can chew with Kane and he's failed to realise that everyone has a limit and when you puh someone past it... they either break or they fight back. Nye is close to his... very close Date: 12/15/2009 07:02 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: anordwell Oh I both love and hate this chapter! It is just one of those super stressful chapters you put out sometimes...gah! I don't even know what to say about what I think, lol...I guess I'll wait until the next chapter! Author's Response: Yeah... you just wait The next one is my favourite in the whole story Date: 12/15/2009 04:55 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: eliotmoore Yes Adam is a bastard. I have to admit I am having a hard time reading this. I will though, you have me hooked. Author's Response: Just keep in mind that justice is... eventually... done. Nye has too many friends and too much heart to go down without a fight. Date: 12/10/2009 06:33 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Wyndham Adam is a complete bastard. I hope Nye comes to his senses soon and takes control - perhaps even reverses the relationship dynamic..... Author's Response: I don't think Nye is going to be coming to his senses any time soon... literally. Adam's little black box comes into play big time and by the time he's finished Nye is going to be a lot more compliant and reliant... or so Adam thinks Don't worry. Adam doesn't get it all his own way... not at all. Thanks for continuing to read and review. Date: 12/10/2009 04:20 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: anordwell I can't believe how viscious Adam is...apparently he won't either. But lords! I soo love to hate him! Great chapter Nephy! Author's Response: Thank you. Adam's a complete bastard and in the next chapter he proves it... as if he hasn't already. Nye no longer has any choice in the matter. Glad your are sticking with it I know this one is not an easy ride Date: 12/10/2009 12:14 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: anordwell Egads!!! I am loving hating Adam. Damn stubborn Nye, it's like wake up and smell the beans, and listen to poor Jon. I have a feeling he is going to be one of the good guys. Author's Response: Jon is, indeed one of the good guys. The problem is he is also one of the bad guys... in it up to his neck and 'trained' to boot. He's an interesting character though... so watch this space. Thanks for continuing to read and review Date: 12/03/2009 03:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: eliotmoore I certainly have no idea where you are taking this. The effect of the first chapter is stunning. I have this strong response that might be completely unsympathetic to the intent of your theme. Fascinating as the SM is, my impulse is to side with Mir and tell Nye to walk away. My impulse is to hope Kane makes a stronger presence in the story and turns Nye's head. Whatever the intent, you have convinced me Mir's perceptions are the correct ones. Author's Response: As an author to have convinced a reader of anything is awesome. Thank you for reading and even more for reviewing. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story... it's a real rollercoaster ride with many unexpected twists and turns. I hope that the ending isn't predictable but is satisfying in its own way. This is not a story that is particularly sympathetic to the BDSM world although I hope it does convey how fascinating that world can be when you find the right partners. Date: 12/03/2009 07:25 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: DarkDaisuke O.O I love this story so much. I hate Adam so much though as well. Good chapter, and great now I want Nye to be with Jon XD Author's Response: Jon is a good man, as you will see later on. Adam is almost irredeemable and he is about to get even worse. Thanks for reading and thanks even more for reviewing Date: 12/02/2009 11:18 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Inuberry I haven't reviewed in forever, but I feel this chapter absolutely deserves one! (Not that the others didn't!) I don't know, the ending was so delicious! I'm so excited for the next chaper. Adam confused me for the last few chapters; he seemed...nicer. But this chapter cleared it up! He was fooling ME, even, and he's a freakin' character. I honestly thought he cared for Nye, but he's back to his old evil self. Sigh. I won't lie and say I don't enojy him being evil. But I love Nye and Jon has DEFINITELY gained some points! If you wanna gain some points, maybe you'll post in three seconds? Yeah? Maybe? - Janee' Date: 12/02/2009 08:59 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: anordwell This was a very emotional chapter, I'm not surprised that Nye is questioning things but not really making any decisions. Kane seems to have struck just the right cord with Nye..he almost went too far. I think if he hadn't changed his tack that Nye would have rushed back to Adam's arms as fast as he could just to prove his point. Great chapter, as usual, it always seems to lead to more questions of what is going to happen. Good thing you deliver! Author's Response: Thank you hun. Kane is my second favourite character. He's awesome. He's a little too moral though I think. He feels he doesn't have the right to come between Adam and Nye, that he has to let Nye make his own decisions... if only he had realised that Nye just isn't in the place to be able to make those decisions. I am glad you are sticking with the story. Lots more surprises to come. Date: 11/29/2009 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: DarkDaisuke Wow awesome chapter O.O I mean it too I want him away from Adam Author's Response: Adam is a very persuasive person and when persuasion doesn't work he uses... other means. I think we can safely say Nye is stuck with Adam, at least for the time being. It's strange isn't it, how someone who is in the middle of a situation, the one closest to it, to the truth, is often the one least able to see clearly what is going on and what they should do about it. Date: 11/28/2009 11:44 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: DarkDaisuke Ive read all seven chapters and I have to say, its pretty good. Dark, but good I hope Nye finds out what that asshole Adam is doing even though I myself have no idea besides introducing him to BDSM Author's Response: Hehe. It all comes out in the end... and I mean... all Date: 11/25/2009 03:14 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: anordwell Nye is growing his spine! He did some thinking before falling apart. And check him out making the attendant flinch with his cold attitude. I like this chapter. Not much happens on one hand but on the other, we learn so much about their mindset. Yay! Kane is here! I have sooo been waiting to hear more about him... Author's Response: Hold on for a little longer and you'll be seeing plenty of him Date: 11/25/2009 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: anordwell Gah...that's all I have..I'm speechless Author's Response: I hope that's speechless in a good way and not a bad way. This is one of the worst chapters... I think. I know it's bad but I felt it was needed to explain Adam a little and some of the things that come later. Soon Nye gets to see things from the other side of the whip, so to speak. I have some fun in the upcoming chapters... not that that one wasn't fun to write... because it was... it was soooo much fun Date: 11/24/2009 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: davey chase Personally this isn't my style, but it could develop well. Author's Response: Thank you for your comment even though it's not your style I hope you enjoy the rest of the story... it's a twiisting and turning one Date: 11/21/2009 04:59 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod Adam's motivation is carefully captured in two sentences: "Where was the challenge? Where was the stimulation?" His depravity requires only a single sentence: "If that’s what love did to you, Adam was glad he was immune." These three sentences are wrapped in a blanket of narrative and dialogue, a blanket that provides no comfort, but only immense, suffocating anxiety. Superb! Author's Response: Thank you. Astute as always. Although I don't think that I am giving anything away by saying that Adam is not as immune as he thought he was and that is the only thing that prevents him, as a character, slipping into the realms of utterly evil bastard and may... just may (or may not) in some small way redeem him in the end. Date: 11/13/2009 01:49 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: anordwell Okay...well..I almost thought Nye was gonna wake up and smell the beans already...but he hasn't suffered nearly enough for that. Then, I thought at the end, that Adam is showing some signs of actually being a human being..then I thought about him, and went Nah...rat fink. (I really thought another word but hesitate to post it, lol) No way he can have even the slimmest sliver of redeeming qualities. I can't wait to find out the next surprise..... Author's Response: Adam does have some redeeming qualities believe it or not but you have to look hard and wait long to find them. And as for Nye waking up... no chance of that any time soon Date: 11/05/2009 06:15 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 Kane hasn't said anything yet and he is already my favorite character. That's not supposed to be a bad sign, but yea, I already want to shoot Adam and maybe punch Nye in the face a little lol. Glad you started some new stuff because there is not a whole lot to read on this site right now that is any good. Author's Response: Thank you... I am glad you like Kane. He's a good guy... he's American you know As for Adam... well wait till you get to know him Aww and don't punch Nye... he's my favourite and he really is having a bad time right now Thanks for you comments. Will be another chapter tonight... I hope Date: 11/01/2009 05:20 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 OK, blame it all on me... mea culpa, mea culpa...The story's still good. Author's Response: Date: 10/31/2009 12:23 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod Miriam's frustration is perhaps the most frightening thing in this chapter. Given all the things there are to be frightened by, that's saying a lot...and it says a lot about the author that she can create an emotion that shines so clearly amidst all the others. Author's Response: Thank you. That is an awesome review. I am honoured as always. Glad you enjoyed... if enjoy is the right word Date: 10/31/2009 06:49 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: anordwell Very vivid imagery. The line between simply graphic and just way too much is clearly in sight and yet so much fun to flirt with. This is a very intriguing story right off the bat, if this is how it starts, I can only hope to imagine what will come in time for Nye and his friends and family. I look forward to reading more.... Cia Author's Response: Thank you.... if you think THAT flirts with the line between just enough and too much... well you aint seen nothing yet. Any complaint address them to Sandy... she's the one who told me it was ok to post As always appreciate the comment and that you enjoyed the story Date: 10/30/2009 08:27 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 Put your seatbelts on and get ready for the ride, is all I can say. The story has very strong and believable characters. Nye doesn't know what he is getting himself into and let's hope he can find his way out... before it's too late. The last paragraph was simply awesome! Well done darling!!! As always, yet another great story!! Author's Response: Thank you honey... and don't forget... if anyone's eyes start to bleed... it's all your fault Date: 10/30/2009 07:39 PM

Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, I absolutely LOVE reading these stories online. So many times I am surprised at which new line stops at the bottom of the page. This time scrolling stopped at: 2ND FEBRUARY 1987--2ND JULY 2008 And I said to myself 'I KNEW IT! This was a REAL story. (and by that I mean non fiction). Taz really lived! But then I found MORE lines and well, I was wrong. However, Nephy, I discovered something ELSE! If one reads from "JOE'S BLOG: JULY 15 2008: 15.30 through to the end, it could be a complete story by itself. A SHORT one, but---well---yeah! And that epilogue(ish) ending should bring tears to the eyes of the coldest hearted person breathing. And for THAT I'm sending you a bouquet of 'thank you'(s)! Author's Response: The only place that Taz ever lived was inside my head. He had a brief but very brilliant life and I loved him completely for the time it took to write. He was such an absolute joy. I could actually feel him bursting with life as I was writing him. I cried buckets in the end but I just couldn't save him. Seriously. I wanted to, but the story wouldn't let me and I absolutely broke up over it. Weird eh Thanks for your continuing support. You have no idea how much it means to me. Date: 07/02/2010 07:25 AM Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: Terpi Thanks for this. An interesting format. The ending was way to sad though. But life is like that sometimes. I enjoy all of your writing and look forward to more. Author's Response: Awww... thanks hun. Yes, as you said life is like that sometimes. Thanks for the awesome compliment. There's lots more to come. Date: 04/18/2010 01:54 PM Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Nephylim, DAMN...... that was good!! Author's Response: Thank you. I love your reviews and I'm glad you liked this one Date: 04/11/2010 08:48 PM Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: Headwind OMG: You are a great writer. Your "blog" technique and your characters are so original and genuine. The way you conveyed emotions, ups and down - joys and sorrows - humor and satire - was wonderfully genuine and relateable. While stories that end sadly leave me down and depressed (just me, maybe) and those with the "happily ever after" endings bring me joy and satisfaction, I know that what you related in CURVED BALLS happens to couples (gay and otherwise) countless times a day; and that people like me (coupled for 25-years now -- opps, make that 26) need to face les actualities de vie. Thank you for a really great read. Please keep up the good work Headwind Author's Response: Thank you. I really appreciate your review and I'm glad you liked the story. I have to admit that the end made me cry too. However, stories just come to me and are not created by me so, whether you beleive it or not I have no control over how they end. I got very fond of Taz and was sad when he had to die... but I think the story ended with hope. Taz's life touched so many people. We've seen what he's done for even the small number who we've come to know through the blogs so how many more are there out there. His life was lived to the full. He died knowing he was loved. What more can anyone ask? Date: 04/11/2010 07:04 AM Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: Clovis Clever idea to have it as a blog. Mintos was such a loveable jerk until he dumped his b/f. Tragic tale... I am not good at coping with other people's tragedies... I couldnt help wondering if it was the wireless signal in his lap-top that caused the heart failure... Ahhhhh. sad, but as someone once swrote, 'our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we fall".... I love the penultimate paragraph... and the last... makes me weepy. sniff. I'm such a sentimental fool. Author's Response: Me too, I cried buckets at the end. Hehe. I'm strange, I like to cry. It was the virus that killed Taz and nothing more. I have some experience, not personally thank goodness, of the efect that damage to the heart by a simple virus can do. There are a lot of simple things out there that can kill us. It's amazing we ever make it through a day Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. It means a lot. Date: 04/10/2010 01:26 AM Title: Joe's Blogs Reviewer: Allerron Wow, just, wow! I like the interplay between the entries in the blog. All through the story I was trying to guess what the next curve would be and I never had any luck with that. The characterization done through the blog enties worked really well. I don't see how the colour coding would make the story any more poignant. Author's Response: Aww thanks hun. It was awesome that you liked this story as I am very fond of it myself It was an experiment as, in case you didn't notice no one at all (except Taz a little bit) was ever described in any way. It's all left to your imagination. Seems like it worked. Thanks for your time. Date: 04/09/2010 09:22 PM

Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: Frostina **sigh** "...and for the first time it mattered...*--- That almost brought tears to my eyes... Two more wonderful people.... (classic example of "when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" lol) Love your wring!!! absolutely LOVE it! Hugs! Author's Response: Awww thank you hun. This was one of the first stories I posted on here. I accidentally deleted it and all the reviews so I love it when someone reviews it and I love it when someone likes it. Daniel is an awesome character. I've often said that he is me as I would really like to be. It's a strange story but I love it and I am really really glad that you do to Date: 11/28/2010 06:13 PM Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: phana14 Oh Nephy! This story quite surprised me. It started off rather fast, I thought, and I wondered how it was going to last the distance. I should NOT have been concerned. I actually found this one to be one of your *sweet* stories, with a LOT of drama and just a hint of *darkness*. Among other things I really enjoyed, was not having so many characters to keep track of. It usually makes for much smoother reading, and so it did in this story. Oh, and Gods love you! You treated Charlie with love and respect! *hugs* for that! So there I was to the very last chapter, telling you how it should end. Oh stupid me. There are only a few endings in the stories that I can think of that can compare emotionally with "Dangerous Liaisons. *hugs* Author's Response: awww thanks hun. I have to say I am very fond of this story. There was a posting disaster right at the end when I had to repost the whole thing and lost all the reviews. It's sad because there were a lot of them and I think this story of all of them deserves it. Anyway. Gods man I lOVE Charlie and he is a totally awesome character. He's saved Daniel's sorry arse more than once and he is the biggest sweetheart ever. I have modelled him on someone I know and love absolutely to death. Hehe. I am so glad you liked the ending. I thought at one point that it might have been a little contrived but i wanted to contarst the beginning with the end and the two of them have been through so much I really wanted to give them some happiness before I left them. As always your reviews are a pleasure. Date: 06/27/2010 05:51 PM Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: mgf bravo... nicely done, touching, emotional,wonderful. keep writing!!!! Author's Response: No worries about that. My only trouble is in stopping. Between writing and painting at the moment I only stop for work, sleep and making food for my son who is practically an orphan Thanks for reading and the review. Date: 04/18/2010 02:42 AM Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: Allerron WOW. I am so glad that you persevered and got this story posted. It is powerful, touching, and painfull all at once. Author's Response: Thank you. It's one of my faves. One day I am going to have to tidy it up and maybe get it into chapters again but It frustrated me so much getting it this far I dont want to touch it in case I mess it up again. And I like the story too much to get rid of it altogether. Date: 04/15/2010 09:04 AM Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Nephylim, you are sooooooo good! Sorry about all of the other reviews, but iI am positive that your devoted readers will come through with new ones. Keep up the great work....Bravo! Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. I can't beleive that I did this. I accidentally posted the chapter of another story at the end of DL and when I tried to delete it it deleted the whole story. Then I tried posting back chapter by chapter but I accidentally double posted a chapter and then again it deleted the whole thing. After typing the summary and story notes for the third time and getting progressively more frustrated I posted the whole thing. Maybe I will revise it at some point and put it back in chapters because it is easier to read but at the moment I'm sick of it Date: 04/12/2010 12:41 PM Title: The Whole Story Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Oh no its sad your reviews have gone but still it is an amazing story nevertheless Author's Response: Thank you hun. At least now you get to read it all in one go. What are reviews anyway I don't care about reviews I am a terribly liar At least the story has a review from its and my very first fan so it's all good. Date: 04/11/2010 01:31 PM

Title: Deceptions Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, Chronologically speaking, I don't when you wrote this story. But I have a suspicion that I would have pinned it to you even if I hadn't known who the author was. It's just that this is your typical theme. I do hope that that makes sense to you. Nephy, I think for the first time EVER, I know what you are telling us when you say you *experience* your stories as you write them. Even though it is short, this one is just as *DEEP* and *DARK* as your longest one. It's as though the reader is divided into halves: one half feels this abject misery encompassing them while simultaneously seeing a way out of the darkness. You give us a *light* at the end. Well. As usual, Nephy, you simply amaze me! Thanks so much!Author's Response: This was my anthology entry the time before last so I guess that would have been Winter last year, so it's a relatively recent one. I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad every time you like something I write. I am particularly glad that you have some insight into the way I write, it's a heck of a journey sometimes and my poor family, especially my son, suffer I think from the obsession. I am a writing addict Date: 07/01/2010 05:28 AM Title: Deceptions Reviewer: Allerron This one is almost too powerful for words right now. Truly amazing!Author's Response: Thank you. That was a wonderful review. I am really glad you like it... well I think you liked it Date: 05/03/2010 09:01 PM Title: Deceptions Reviewer: hh5 I'm please for Luke that something more came his way for speaking his peace - having the truth shall set you free - brought something better and more than what he bargained for.Author's Response: I like that line... the truth will set you free. In this story I suppose it did. Thanks hun Date: 04/18/2010 09:02 PM Title: Deceptions Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Thank you. Good to see that some redemption can come through a cleric, even if so much pain had been caused in the misuse and abuse of religion earlier.Author's Response: I wanted to give a more balanced view and to highlight the fact that fanatics are not the whole of the picture, in fact only a small corner of it. I also wanted to highlight the damage that fanaticism can do, tearing families apart, damaging people... possibly irreperably. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review. Date: 04/16/2010 10:44 PM Title: Deceptions Reviewer: Wyndham Very powerful story Nephy! Thank you. You captured so many different emotions and crafted your characters so beautifully. This story needed telling. I do hope you will consider treating this as a prologue, and continue the story. I believe there is a wonderful story to be told as Luke rebuilds his life.Author's Response: You're probably right but as I said in relation to the previous reveiw it's not likely, at least for now Thanks for the comment it is kind of you to keep reviewing. I'm really glad you liked it Date: 04/16/2010 06:31 PM Title: Deceptions Reviewer: Nanmander Oooh...Something new by Nephy! Are you going to continue this story? I really hope you consider it *hint hint* Man, that grandma--! The minister's a pretty cool guy, you don't always see that in LGBT-themed works. So kudos for changing it up a bit!Author's Response: I have been asked about continuing the story but I don't know. This was just a complete piece for the anthology. I don't make stories they 'come to me'. Maybe Luke and Adin will speak to me again maybe not. At the moment I am working on three different stories and have 2 new ones already ready for posting when either DBD or enigma are finished so... busy busy Date: 04/16/2010 05:48 PM

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: mogwai I could have done with a few more chapters but evidently you had format restrictions that wouldn't allow it....so sorry ! Author's Response: It was for a novella competition with a word limit. I was thinking about adding a few more chapters but I think that. given the whole structure of the story it was a fitting end just where it was. Thank you for reading and reviewing Date: 08/04/2010 07:23 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: mogwai your stories have me scrolling like a madman...they are great! Author's Response: That paints such... strange pictures in my head. Thank you for reading and thank you even more for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. Date: 08/03/2010 08:02 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, This is certainly another masterpiece, created by a master! It reads so easily that it is almost like reading a "quickie". You really DO understand love! Thank you so much for this one! *HUGS* Author's Response: I am realy glad you liked this one as I am very fond of it myself. Noah is a real sweetheart. I am very grateful for all your reviews and glad you like my work Date: 06/19/2010 04:42 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, Are you sure? A review? OK! Chapter one: A half box of kleenex. Chapter two: White knuckles on armrests while sitting on edge of seat. I'll talk to you AFTER chapter ten! Author's Response: Hehe You are such a softie aren't you? SEE I do have a heart Date: 06/18/2010 08:03 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: doesnt know jack Okay-YAY!!! I read this last night (I think two seconds after you posted it) but didn't really know what to say. I still really don't know what to say, except: Thank you!! Um...more constructively... One editing note: You probably know this, but the tenses were off at the beginning of chapeter nine. In other news: you totally almost went to where I figured you'd go. I thought Luke was going to completely loose all of his memory in a kind of tradgically poetic twist at the end. Just to note, although I felt this was where the story was headed, I know I would have had to come after you for inflicting that kind of heart-wrenching pain on your readers. Instead, it's deliciously lovely and he doesn't remember what happened to him in only one instance. Still poetic, not so tragic. = Very happy reader!!! Yeah, I still have a smile. I do have tons more to say...and might actually say it at some point, but my computer is being comondeered. Anyway, thank you again for this. I've had so much fun reading and almost as much, if not more, fun reviewing it. I usually don't read WIP, but this was a great expierence!!! :-) Hopefully you'll still be around when I get back! Best of luck! Author's Response: Oops I am really glad you liked the way the story ended. Of course I could have gone on so that Dad got his 'just deserts' but I decided not for a number of reasons. First.. in real life bad guys sometimes get away with things. Second, it would have ruined the whole family and Noah loves his mother and sister... and he still loves his father too although he is angry and disappointed in him. Third and more importantly Luke and Noah are together and complete. They don't need vengeance they just need each other Most of my stories have been fully written before I start posting. The only exceptions are Hubble Bubble which completely ground to a halt, thankfully at a reasonable sensible place to end and Weeping Lily which I am having terrible trouble working on and gets updated like once a year. I will complete it... eventually. All of my other stories and the two I have waiting to start posting are fully completed. So you don't need to worry about being left stranded in the middle. I would love to hear what else you have to say. I am so very grateful to everyone who reviews and a detailed and constructive review is the best of all. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. Date: 04/30/2010 08:06 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Aaron Adams I absolutely love this story! AA Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. That's what it's all about after all Date: 04/30/2010 01:28 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Neph, gripping as usual. Can't wait to read more!! Author's Response: Thanks hun. It's all out there so you can read as much as you want Date: 04/29/2010 10:44 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 Good story to get me so concerned!! Author's Response: Thank you Date: 04/29/2010 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 Is it not the father who has to repair the damage more than them? Your right ... distance is better ... and maybe the father might give something to Luke as a start in the first steps of forgiveness or "I'm sorry" ... He probably will hide the truth from Luke's mother. Pity Lukes an adult. Nicholas won't look at it as that he hurt someones child but only to Noah because he was a child. Ok, he threaten a child. So there's a lot of emo damage. Nicholas's truth or appeasement of his concience is what he bargains for in his favor. He took a long shot gamble on Luke's life and it paid off - lucky. He got his "get out of hell" free card this time. Maybe its for the best it happen that way ... otherwise ... it could be alot worst. I bet the doctor gave the best medicine of reason to the father before sending him home. I wonder if the doctor moved ... so he is not to be found by Nicholas. Gosh a lot of what ifs - and the lesson for our couple is "I got you babe" the hard way. Author's Response: Reading through my previous response I think it was misleading. I meant that it's the family that have a lot of work to do to make it right not Noah and Luke. Fortunatey both Luke and Noah are adults... Noah is almost 20 and Luke about the same. It's awesome that my story has provoked so much thought and consideration. Date: 04/29/2010 11:52 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: hh5 Sorry but I still think Nicholas needs to pay for everything Room and Board, University, Two Cars, Insurance, Medical, etc for a period of ten years plus 250,000 euros each in a savings account. or roughtly the same expense if the court would have tried and convict him or roughtly what the clients would have extorted from him Which ever is higher? He didn't specify how long he pay for the flat. So est of 44,000 euros doesn't pay for all the damages for a period pf three years. Then again - I have no idea how much the cost of damages are done. If Noah and Luke where SilverSquared - Nicholas be forgiven. Plus getting the best package deal out of dad will make sister real jealous. Great thing to tell her in ten years. "Oh!!! Dad!!!!!!" I'll scream the same thing too - since Noah and Luke didn't go through what i've been through - in fact its the very least compared to other GA members. Ok maybe you can put a price on LOVE but to put one over sister get dad for as much as you can. (joke) Author's Response: I think the point that I am trying to make at the end and the way it ended was that Noah and Luke are all they need. Luke is going to be Ok and Noah is going to be OK and they have each other and they are going to be living together and spending the rest of their lives together... happy ending. Revenge and or retribution would just spoil that. I think that getting distance from his family is all that Noah needs and then it's up to them whether they want to try and repair the damage in the future. Date: 04/29/2010 04:30 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 The worst case if Luke doesn't get better ... Nicholas gonna have to show his son - the price of responsiblity vs the clients vs love. Soon I'll see what the title means in the story. But I see its not just Noah that has memory issues. Author's Response: I think Noah already knows that. There is no price that is worth more than love Date: 04/28/2010 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: hh5 Ok so the trouble is bigger than the Nicholas ... and I am still unbelieving like Noah of what his Dad could do to make it better. I do hope Luke gets to a hospital and force Nicholas stand for his actions. hehe, He better paid up his life insurance to the max max ... so at least he can leave everyone wealthy. I guess I have to wait to see like Noah has to?? Author's Response: Noah works out what his priorities are. As for Luke, he is not having a good time and it won't get better for a while... although of course there is only one chapter. Date: 04/28/2010 09:43 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: hh5 Luke needs a good lawyer and collect big time or Maybe Noah and Luke can bargain for an all expense paid life together but his dad can always be slimy and back out? Author's Response: Noah's father is a lawyer. Maybe Luke and Noah can bargain... for a good life together... a life together... life Date: 04/27/2010 02:54 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 Great you let them get scraping through (hospitalize) and leave an opening for a sequel for more toucher. Author's Response: AH but... don't be too sure that you know what is going to happen before it does Date: 04/27/2010 11:17 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: doesnt know jack Oh BIIGGG SMILE now!! :-) !! And if this is going where I think it might be going...all I have to say is: F**ing BRILLIANT! And if this isn't going where I think it's going...yeah, it's still awesome. :-) Your sense of tension is perfect. You don't hold onto things for too long, but you don't reveal too early either. I'll probably say more later, but for now, as always, THANK YOU! (And also: "One more to go"....whait, WHAT?! ;-p) Author's Response: Well this is just a novella. it only has nine chapters. So there is only one left to post and that will be tomorrow. I wonder where you think this is going. I hope I don't disappoint. I will post the last chapter and then you will know. I promised to finish posting before May and I will. Thank you so much for your comments and I am SO glad you like the story it was such fun to write Date: 04/27/2010 11:10 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: hh5 I figured that his Dad clients was going to take Luke as a bonus to more than just hold him. Noah Dad got some extra trouble to fix or rather cover up ... sounds like his dad getting himself into string of troubles that I hope he hangs himself. Not very often the bad guys do that. I wish that they do to make it easier on us good guys but the real world is unforgiving and they get away with murder. For luke its dam near close for Noah concern. Author's Response: Well... I could tie it all up in a neat little package with Dad getting his just deserts with Noah and Luke riding off into the sunset. But where would be the fun in that Date: 04/27/2010 10:23 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: doesnt know jack Just sending out a very big SMILE for updating!! (Seriously, you'd think I was a five year old waiting up the catch a glimpse of Santa with how crazy I've become over this story.) A more constructive review to come later...just wanted to let you know you're appreciated!! :-) Author's Response: *hugs* You can smile again now. When I make a promise I keep it Date: 04/27/2010 03:46 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 oh it sounds like at best Luke will be very bruised banana if Noah takes too long. Noah going to need help somewhere. Too bad Noah didn't record the conversation. What a choice principal or Damage Goods or No Luke. Author's Response: Noah is prepared to do anything for Luke. But things don't always go to plan Date: 04/26/2010 11:06 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: hh5 I figured this - but I don't seem to figure is Luke going to be alive and if there ever will be justice. Gosh is his father a mobster or construction? Does the father risk murder? What will Noah do? Author's Response: The father is the most evil of all men... a lawyer. His 'assocites' are clients who are really not nice people. Father is a piece of shit but what happened to Noah was an accident and he wouldn't go so far as to deliberately hurt Luke. Unfortunately he's not the one who is holding him. What his associates are prepared to do... now that's an entirely different matter. Date: 04/26/2010 10:51 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: David McLeod "Let’s face it... you’ve known me longer than I have." Again, the reader is treated to a wonderful turn of phrase, and the authors among the readers think, "Damn; wish I'd thought of that." Nephylim has such a grand imagination, a sharp mind, and a deftness with language that her stories are a real joy to read, despite the dark undercurrents through which we swim, gasping for air and light. Noah found strength; Luke played into it so deftly. We know...or we think we know...what happens next. Or do we? Author's Response: Maybe some of it You say such kind things David which I am sure I don't deserve Date: 04/25/2010 01:27 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5 Sure but its always Dad's way and thats always blind sighted. Especially with the gay issue ... if that topic come bad up ... WWIII. Nuclear melt down. Author's Response: Yeah... it's going to be something like that... at least for Noah and Luke Date: 04/25/2010 01:05 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: hh5 One more day ... nice lull ... but shit hits the fan if Noah thinks nicely of his dad ... what kind of memory loss is that? Author's Response: Some people are always looking for the good in people and they always find it even if it isn't there. Noah wants to see the best in his father becaue he is his father. They were close once and despite everything he wants to believe that his dad loves him Date: 04/25/2010 12:23 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: doesnt know jack PS. The review I wrote was supposed to be for chapter 5, but I'm just computer illiterate like that. :-) Author's Response: Hehe... join the club. I have managed to delete whole stories and not been able to post them in chapters again. I'm such a technophobe Date: 04/24/2010 08:16 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: doesnt know jack Okay, so um...this is...wow. Beautiful. It's been a long time since I've come across something that has so thoroughly drawn me in and consumed me. So thank you. The way the story has unfolded has been truly wonderful. It's like watching the excitement and glow on someone's face as they slowly unwrap a perfectly wrapped gift-you know what is under the pristine paper and bow, what the probable outcome will be, but actually seeing it and experiencing the event as it reveals itself is such a simple, yet wondrous joy, that you can't help but be captivated. Each movement, each miniscule twitch of their lips, or glint in their eye, holds your attention and thrills you to the core. It's as if you're seeing everything for the first time, no matter how many times you might have been witness to a similar scene. Yeah, that's how this chapter (and story in general) makes me feel. I couldn't stop smiling...and there have been many times throughout this story I've been on the verge of tears. (Now why is it that I have the foreboding sense that all will not be well....???? I'll nod to David McLeod's review here... :-p ) On that note, I know that you most likely don't give into demands...but well, as a very selfish and greedy reader who is going to be MIA for the next three months...is there any chance this will be all posted by May??? (hehehehe...clearly I'm not really one for the suspense of waiting for a story to be finished-I'm the all consuming, obsessively refreshing the home page every five minutes, to see if it's been updated, type of reader. Of course, if waiting is what I have to do for this story...I will!!) Again, thank you! Author's Response: That was an absolutey fantastic review. It was almost like reading a story in itself and had me drawn in to that picture. It was wonderful. Don't worry. This is a novella. We're half way through and I will be updating every few days. So yeah... I will make sure it's done by May Date: 04/24/2010 07:00 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Wyndham One of your more upbeat chapters. I like! Author's Response: Hey I can write upbeat when i want to... it's just that I rarely want to I think you'll like the next one As always thanks for reading and reviewing. *hugs* Date: 04/24/2010 06:10 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: hh5 Going to a long two days. Author's Response: Oh yeah... very long Date: 04/24/2010 03:50 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod The eyes that "...had been staring at me, [but] not at my face" begin this chapter in an aura of mystery, and create a situation that any author would envy. The desperation Luke and Noah share is absolutely gut-wrenching. There's a chance to start over, but there's also the fear that a new beginning will evoke strictures that would destroy that beginning. Conflict is the essence of drama, and this conflict is delicious, and devastating. We know the secret, and we're so desperate for it to be revealed. But, do we really know it? Author's Response: Maybe you do, maybe you don't Thanks hun. I love your reviews. I'm glad you like this one, I was quite proud of it. Date: 04/24/2010 01:05 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: hh5 Add the father and mother to the list of suspects ... hey neph did you make an appearence in this story. gosh noah an emo boy? no doggie collar? If the mother expect different then she should have changed the wardrobe. Can't wait to me sis? Now who is this dark tall figure? nice mystery Sureprise he didn't read the emails around a years time? or opps maybe he did. Author's Response: He didn't read the emails at the time because he was busy falling out of a window and then being in a coma They're all a year old because no one has been near his computer since. For a long time they thought that Noah was going to die and then when he woke and the trauma of watching him slowly come back to life kept them busy I guess his parents just couldn't bring themselves to empty out his room. For me it would be like bringing bad luck... getting rid of him before he's dead. I think the mother is secretly pleased that he put on those clothes again.. because that was coming home in more ways than one No, I'm not in the story.., well... hmmm... maybe Date: 04/23/2010 12:17 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Wyndham The suspense is going to drive me crazy Nephy. I love this story and can't wait to read more Author's Response: Awww... thanks hun . Don't worry I'll post another chapter, maybe two over the weekend. Glad you like it Date: 04/23/2010 10:10 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod Once again, the master storyteller draws us in so subtly we don't know that we've taken the bait until the hook is set and we're being played like a bass in a mountain stream. The description of Noah's awakening, both from his perspective and in his friends' dialogue was beautiful. How clever it was to have Noah's family appear only in very remote references. We've been promised a mystery...and I for one am looking forward to it. Author's Response: WOW. Awesome. Yeah there's a mystery and because you have been so lovely in your reviews I will post new chapters of both the stories you reviewed. Remember that when the roof comes screaming down on my head after Enigma chapter 16 it's all your fault *hugs* Date: 04/23/2010 08:38 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: hh5 What a roller coaster ride ... more mystery on who set this all up suspects any one?? Dad? Someone Jealous? or hateful? Author's Response: There are some suspects aren't there. This is only a Novella so it won't be long before you find out... but once you - and Noah find out then what ? If Noah didn't jump off the balcony then what really happened? Did he fall? Was he pushed? Date: 04/20/2010 11:10 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Wyndham Wonderful. Great chapter. So glad you are posting often Author's Response: AND I fixed the title Date: 04/20/2010 03:51 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: hh5 Nice mystery. Love this story. But in another way ... To lose ones memories ... To run away from the old life. Author's Response: Ah... you can run away from your old life but that life has a habit of catching up. And it isn't always a bad thing to have no memory of the past because it can be safer that way. Thanks for reading and reviering hun it's much appreciated. Date: 04/19/2010 04:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephy, you might want to fix the story title...... Author's Response: If I knew how I would Date: 04/19/2010 06:16 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham Another corker from Nephy. Thank you. Author's Response: You're welcome. This one is going to post more quickly than the others because it's already on here. The only reason I am posting by chapter is to get more reviews Thank you, as aways for the review. Date: 04/19/2010 06:12 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Unknown Riddle me this Batman! Should it not be "Memories of forgotten LoVe? Author's Response: HAHA. You foud the deliberate mistake. Date: 04/17/2010 11:45 PM

Title: Epilogue Reviewer: Douw Hey Niphy! wow you kept me on my tows there i loved the story! Author's Response: You're repeating on yourself now... it's a sign you're getting old dear... just put your slippers and your cardigan on and have a little sit down Date: 06/29/2010 02:39 AM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: Douw Hey Niphy! wow you kept me on my tows there i loved the story! Author's Response: Thank you. I'm really glad you liked it. This was a fun story to write, different from my usual. I suppose it was a bit of an experiment and I'm glad it paid off. Date: 06/29/2010 02:38 AM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! I wish I could give you a THOUSAND stars for this one!!! While I was watching what was going on in the church I was already condamning you to the far reaches of *AUTHOR HELL*! After going through "Love You Always" and experiencing THAT ending, I was thinking maybe I should take a hiatus from online stories. Nah! Can't happen. Anyway, thanks for a wonderful and touching story. (I really meant *another* wonderful and touching story). Author's Response: I'm glad you stuck with it to the end It's not that i wouldn't enjoy it in author's hell but still I'm really glad you like my work. It makes it all worth while. Not that the writing is a chore but sometimes the posting can be ;p It's people like you that make me stick around Date: 06/27/2010 07:53 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, My feelings about this current situation are as follows: If Marcus and Charlie were as good of friends to Angel as you would have us believe, then why the HELL do they consistently leave him unattended? Thinking back through the story so far, EVERY TIME something bad happened to Angel, it was moments after they had abandoned him! This *FRIEND*, Marcus, doesn't deserve a common *ho*, let alone an angel like Angel! And every time afterward all we can hear Marcus say is "Oh babe, I'm never going to leave you again, I'm going to stay right here by your side". FIDDLESTICKS! Author's Response: Hang on a sec... they can't be at his side every moment of every day, and Angel can be pretty forceful himself. He doesnt want to be babysat. He hates what's happening and is raging against the constrictions. If you look back most of the times the things have happened Angels has practically forced them to leave his side. He's a feisty little bugger. Besides... if they were at his side all the time then these events couldn't happen and there wouldn't be a story AND Marcus and Charlie wouldn't be on the tail of the killers... oops. I did mention that this was a Murder Mystery didn't I Date: 06/27/2010 06:57 AM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: phana14 So it was a different kind of fireworks, huh? You got me on that one, Nephy, but I still haven't forgotten to keep an eye out for the butler, Charlton. Also, I really DO wish you had let Marcus make dog food out of Henry! Grrrr! Author's Response: He'll get his, don't worry. Like I said the party is not the high point of their lives. Date: 06/27/2010 03:07 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, Tell me that Angel did NOT choose the party theme! That has to be the biggest mistake he has EVER made! Noooooh!!! Author's Response: No, that was totally Charlie. She can be such a bossy bitch sometimes. Angel and Marcus have other things on their mind and just let her got on with it. Don't forget that she's a spoiled little rich kid although she's doing her best to overcome it. None of them are going to have a good time at the party. Date: 06/27/2010 01:07 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: phana14 Can Marcus truly be as blind as that? ALL of the *triggers* are there, each time, with the exception of the lights the two times it happened downstairs, in company. PLUS, a light flashed in the bathroom early on and then Angel TOLD Marcus that a light flashed in the shed-you remember the old unused *dark* shed? I'm not leaving Charlton out, either. He is, after all, the 'butler'. So far I'm sticking with the *Bishop Bastards*! Author's Response: Marcus is not blind but he's too bloody nice to be able to believe that something like this could be happening and Charlie isn't helping. Don't worry they have friends who are not as nice. And how dare you stereotype poor Charlton Date: 06/27/2010 12:39 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: phana14 Oh Nephy! GOD, but that was beautiful!!!! "Angel looked down then slowly raised his eyes to meet Marcus'. "How do you know what I want to hear?" He said softly. Can it possibly GET any sweeter than that? For this chapter, Nephy, I wish for you hugs bigger and tighter than I'm capable of producing! I just hope you don't kill someone before the end (unless it is Henry). Thank you SO much!! Author's Response: Awww I love hugs... but I like to breathe too . I'm glad you liked this chapter. Not making any promises about the killing off. Think of this as the calm before the story. You are truly awesome. Thank you so so much for boosting my day. Date: 06/26/2010 03:50 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! Beside this being an exciting chapter, I have a question. How is it that you remembered that Angel still had that apple with him? When he threw it away (the core--he had obviously still been eating it right along) you floored me! I stopped reading and went ' *WHAT?* How the hell did she remember that Angel had been eating an apple?'. And I thought that *I* was paying attention! It feels as if we're getting to the nitty-gritty now. Ok! Author's Response: I suppose it's the way I 'see' the story unfolding. I don't write to a schedule or as a piece of work. I 'see' it as a picture unfolding in my mind and I describe what I 'see' so I saw Angel with the apple all along . It's only when i stop writing and sleep that I have continuity issues when I come back. Glad you are still liking it. Date: 06/26/2010 02:46 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: phana14 OMG!!! "Can Marcus keep it inside for one more chapter?" You're too much, Nephy! hehe But I can see already that the feelings inside Marcus are WAY too strong to not be released soon. I hope. Author's Response: Oh they will be released. The question is how will they be received? I like Marcus he's different from the usual characters I write... more 'Jocky' but he's no meathead. Date: 06/26/2010 02:00 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: phana14 Neph! It's no damn wonder that I messed up on Charlie's name! I don't DO run-on sentences. hehe And what about those *chapter end notes*? Do you REALLY believe you need to remind your readers that "Things are only going to get worse for Angel..."? This from you, the *Queen of Darkness and Meanness*? Methinks NOT! This story is coming along beautifully, Nephy. And I am so HAPPY that Angel has a BF, even if he doesn't know it yet. Thanks, Neph. Author's Response: Hehe. I'll accept the Queen of Darkness but mean? Me? Thans for the comment I'm glad you like it Date: 06/26/2010 01:30 PM Title: Prologue Reviewer: phana14 Hi, Nephy! Well. If Charlie is "Charlene", then I guess I have all of the *chatterers* identified. WHEW! Gotta catch a bus for "Greybrook"! Author's Response: Date: 06/26/2010 12:10 PM Title: Epilogue Reviewer: ozymandias I'm glad to see that you are not as cruel and heartless as it seemed at the end of the previous chapter. Thanks for the "miracle" ending to a great story. Keep 'em coming! Author's Response: Nothing miraculous at all. I never said that Angel was dead... not completely I am nothing if not consistent Glad you liked the ending hun Thanks for the review Date: 05/06/2010 03:18 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: roy958 This ending really sucks. I hope you have a change of heart and continue the story i really enjoy your writings. thanks for the good entertainment Author's Response: But it isn't the end. I have the epilogue left to go. I can't promise that you will like the actual ending better than this one but there is going to be one. Date: 05/05/2010 04:12 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Nanmander Nooo! He can't dieeee! Nephy!!! What have you done?!!!! You really are evil, aren't you Oh well, you're a good writer so I guess you can get away with it. Another beautiful chapter. Author's Response: Well he can die. But maybe he doesn't. But maybe he does Thank you so much for the review Date: 05/03/2010 08:47 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Cia I have been remiss in my reading and reviewing lately. I absolutely love this story and you bring the building suspense to a peak just in time to make you sigh in relief and then gasp in fear. Charles has been discovered and arrested but will it be too late? GAH! Quite the cliffhanger! I love it! Author's Response: Nah... It's just that I wanted to drum up a bit of interest and I was also bored with this story and desperate to get started on one of my new ones. I am going to start posting Hostage in a couple of days because I think that one is altogether lighter than some of my other ones so maybe it won't scacre people so much... as long as they read past the first couple of chapters Date: 05/03/2010 04:05 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: buffy7angel5 I absolutely lover your writing! This story has gotten really dark, but only once did it stray dark enough that I ever considered stopping to read. Your stories are soo addictive I just can't stop reading! Thanks for posting these chapters! Author's Response: Aww thank you... so much. yeah I know my writing gets really dark sometimes but next time i promise the story will be lighter. Lots of action but less darkness... i think I have been really trying to be less dark and scary... but I guess that's just the way I am. I am very grateful to your for posting and so glad that you enjoy what I write *hugs* Date: 05/03/2010 04:02 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Jabberjaw I think a lot of people are out there reading especially your stories. Maybe I'm not a good reader because I normally do not write reviews (I'm not a good writer) but I do look forward to your stories. Author's Response: Awww hun. I wasn't really having a hissy fit. i just got kind of bored posting this one as it isn't really one of my favourites when I have others waiting in the wings which are so much better. But thank you so much anyway for reveiwing. It's silly to say that you are not a good reader because you don't review. At the end of the day the stories are there to be read and enjoyed and the knowledge that there are people out there who read is awesome, the best validation a writer could ever have. So the word counts mean a lot more than the reviews although of course reviews are nice. Keep reading and don't worry about reviewing, it's not something that is expected of you. However, you do not need to be a good writer to say what you think about what someone else has written. I won't be offended if you point out things you don't like... honest Date: 05/03/2010 02:45 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Nephy...I really enjoy your writing. You write clearly with lots of the attention to details which makes a scene come alive. Your characters are well delineated and remain true to themselves over the life of your story. You write well. You also write stories which are quite dark. Sometimes, just too dark for me. There have been a couple which I have not finished. They just seemed to go places where I didn't want to go. Perhaps that says more about me than you. This story has flirted with that kind of darkness. I have read it carefully, awaiting each chapter with bated breath. But, you have now left it at a very unsatisfactory place...at least for me. I want them to get together...it's been such a rough ride so far. I want the defibrillator to work! Author's Response: Awww hun. I know that my stories often descend into darkness but they usually come out the other side I have just decided which story I am going to post next. It is probably the least dark of any of the stories I have ever written. There is lots of action, epic scope and some darkness... unually for me mainly concentreted at the beginning but the darkness is not deep even then. Just for you I am goign to post that one next to give some relief to my readers who feel like you do. I guess I am just too dark as a person to write things that are too light. I do try and lots of my stories start off meaning well. Unfortunately my stories and particularly my characters tend to take on a life of their own and take me into the darkness whether I want it or not. Thank you for saying such lovely things about my writing. I value your opinion as I think you are a fine writer yourself. I'm not promising a happy ending for Angel and Marcus... but I promise an ending, and soon. Date: 05/03/2010 02:29 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Benjim Damn Nephy, thanks for the 'extra' chapters!!! But what a cliffhanger you left us! I was always suspicious that Charles might have played a part in Angels parent's deaths, he is more evil then I gave him credit for! Haha! The next chapter is going to be interesting, I see a dream sequance with Angel meeting his parents and other ancients, something to do with that island trip! I see Henry spilling his guts, Charles thinks he is going to walk but it has crashed down on him. Great chapters!!!! Looking forward for more! Thanks Nephy! Author's Response: Hey... someone was reading!! Awesome. There are no more chapters... just an epilogue... some conversation in a chat room not too far away I'll post soon while I am deciding which story to start posting next *hugs* Date: 05/03/2010 01:35 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Cia Marcus and Angel are so adorable together. Their love shines through in so many ways. Angel wants so much to be strong and equal and Marcus wants to protect him. Now that Charlie is fully on board with Marcus' idea we'll see what they find out about Charles and Henry!! Grr... fiendish villians! Great chapter though Author's Response: Thanks hun. I am always very grateful for your comments especially as you have read the whole thing and know what is coming next. I liked this story. Believe it or not it was light relief, fun to write... and all in less than three weeks. As you know it gets worse before it gets better.... actually does it get better... matter of opinion I think Date: 04/06/2010 04:38 PM Title: Prologue Reviewer: Benjim Hey Nephy!! Great story!! I finally made time yesterday and read the story thru to the last chapter! Angel has made many mistakes, he should have reported the attack, obtained a restraining order, hired bodyguards and restricted any of the Bishops from entering his area of the house. I find the mystic angle interesting, something one of the staff said to him leads me to believe that Angel will one day soon have some sort of powers. Marcus needs to stay alert, as he too is in danger should Charles get wind of his suspicions. Looking forward to more!!! Author's Response: It's very easy to look back with hindsight and say... I really should have done that... I know I have done it a lot. The thing is that Angel is a nice person and all he wants is to be left in peace. Yes he should have reported the attack but what would that hace achieved? At best it would have removed Henry from the house but then Charles would have made his life a hell on earth without doing anything that he could be legally held responsible for. I suppose he could have hired bodyguards but that's not something ANgel would have thought of... besides he has Marcus now and that's exactly what Marcus is trying to do. As for the mystic angle.... hmmmm.... Date: 04/02/2010 01:28 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Wyndham Another brilliant chapter, although uncomfortable. Why do the Bishops hate him so much. Would they really go to such lengths just for money? By all accounts they aren't poor..... Author's Response: They aren't poor because they have been stealing money from Angel's company and living in his house. When Angel comes into his inheritance they have to give up control of the business so they won't be able to syphon any more money off and eventually they will have to leave the house. It's a lot to loose and have you wondered why Angel's parents would have left him an the company in the hands of such a bastard? You'd be surprised what people will do for money. Date: 04/01/2010 11:49 AM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Thomas Nealy More, must have more. Author's Response: And you will... be patient. Can I take it that you are not quite so annoyed with the characters now? Glad you are still reading and thanks for the amazingly quick review. Date: 03/31/2010 11:46 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Cia OMG! So much revealed in this chapter. Charles is the worst sort of slime imagineable. The kind of devious, evil mind that can come up with such a long, slow, mind-breaking plan to kill someone is a sadist of the highest caliber. I hope that Marcus can save Angel! Author's Response: I agree about Charles, he's glorious The question is not can they find out what he is up to but can they prove it. And can they find out what the last stages of his plans are before it's too late for Angel? Date: 03/27/2010 12:27 PM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: David McLeod Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. And, I suspect, Angel and his friends are not going to be able to avoid the collision any more than could the Titanic. Author's Response: Nope. the end is coming closer chapter by chapter and although they try soooo hard they can't avoid it. The titanic sunk... the question is... will they? Date: 03/27/2010 11:00 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: David McLeod The clues are becoming a little more discernable...or are they hidden even more deeply, and what we see as clues are red herrings? Author's Response: Depends what you see as clues Date: 03/27/2010 10:52 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: David McLeod A wonderful mix of history and mythology, of reality and fantasy. The question is: what is real? what, myth? what fantasy? And what role will the bracelet play? Author's Response: If any The stone is for protection... and Angel is going to need that if nothing else. Sometimes details are... just that. This chapter was my favourite in the story because I love Glastonbury so much. I hope I have brought it alive for you Date: 03/27/2010 10:46 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: David McLeod “I feel like I’m dying Marcus. I feel like these dreams have opened a big dark hole inside me and I’m sinking into it and dying.” We can hope that this is the absolute depth of Angel's despair; however, knowing a little about Nephylim's mind, I suspect...not. Author's Response: Just when you think things can't get any worse... they invariably do. Thanks for sticking with this David and all the reviews are so exciting. It's like getting up on Christmas morning and opening all my presents. Date: 03/27/2010 10:39 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: David McLeod Is Marcus paranoid, or is he on to something? I think the latter, but the clues are too subtle. This is a mystery story, and the plot is thickening. Author's Response: Awesome. It is certainly meant to be a mystery story and the plot twists and turns but leads inexhorably down a road. The more clues the more clear the road becomes but there are red herrings too Date: 03/27/2010 10:32 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: David McLeod The ramblings of a drunk? A curse? Prescience? What meant Henry's parting words of “Sweet dreams... Angel.” Ah, Nephylim hasn't lost her touch, after all. Author's Response: Hehe. I like to think that I haven't. Only time will tell Date: 03/27/2010 10:27 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: David McLeod Hmm. Suddenly, it's all roses and lollipops, lollipops and roses. Where's the darkness? the fear? Has Nephylim lost her touch? Author's Response: Hey I have been having complaints about being too heavy all the time. After some requests for sunshine and lollipops I had to prove I could give it. Date: 03/27/2010 10:17 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: David McLeod Oh, yeah. And the last line was priceless! Author's Response: Tee hee. Charlie likes being the center of attention. She is sure going to have her nose put out of joint for a while. She's a sweetie thought and deep down she is delighted for both of them. Date: 03/27/2010 10:12 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: David McLeod Angel's "confession" to Marcus is the only thing that could have topped Marcus's confession to Angel in the previous chapter. The tension on the road to the climax of this chapter was nearly unbearable. Author's Response: Yay... just what I was hoping for. I hope it wasn't literally too much. Thanks for the review hun Date: 03/27/2010 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: David McLeod The conversation between Marcus and Angel was deservedly the centerpiece of this chapter, and was neatly sandwiched between a couple of simple doses of concrete reality. There's still the mystery of the dream; yet, it seems that some of the fear may have been abated. (Not, however, for long, I suspect.) Author's Response: You are so suspicious thanks for the review. I was rather proud of that conversation. It needed to happen and it needed to happen then. Life doesn't get any easier for Angel although having Marcus along makes all the difference. Date: 03/27/2010 10:03 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: David McLeod "...when he looked into [his own] eyes [in the mirror] he thought he saw someone else looking out." What a remarkable sentence: it captures in those few words a world of paranoia. uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear. It also raises the question: where do his dreams originate? And what was in the tack room? Author's Response: You've already been told what was in the tack room... if you knew what you were looking for Love your reviews David, as always. Hope you are enjoying the story and will continue to Date: 03/27/2010 09:56 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Thomas Nealy Ok, Angel needs to get his head out of his but and take care of him self. Marc needs to tell the Doc about the dreams and his ideas. Also Angel needs to grow up and tell Charles off and get way for awhile, and stop bitching about how he feels closer to his parents there. he can move back after he deals with the jack family living in his home. Author's Response: WOW... simple But if all that happened where would the story be? There is fun and games in the next chapter which kinds of brings a lot of things closer to the big bang. Stick with it and I hope you don't get too frustrated with all the characters bitching but essentially doing nothing about it Thanks for the review. Date: 03/26/2010 08:37 PM Title: Prologue Reviewer: Thomas Nealy I don't know why I started to read this before bed now i wont be able to sleep before i finish it. Author's Response: Awww.... thanks hun. That's really an awesome compliment. I hope I won't disappoint Date: 03/26/2010 04:40 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Cia I had to snicker at Marcus being a snob and not wanting to eat at the pub. As always the intimate scenes are short but hot. The imagery of the water on Angel's eyelashes and his eyes shining was soooo visual. The whole Dr. situation??? Scary!! Poor Angel! Author's Response: Yeah.... in their own way they are all snobs although trying hard not to be I think that when you have been brought up in that society surrounded with all that money and people being obsequious you really can't help being somewhat snobby. The difference is whether you wallow in it or fight it. Angel is having a bad time bless him. He's scared half to death. The dreams are freaking him out. He's convinced they are precognitive and supernatural and so far it seems that he's right. The next chapter is going to be quite a shocker and unfortunately it doesn't get any better for Angel. Date: 03/19/2010 01:19 AM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Wyndham I want to visit that pub. Perhaps we should meet there for lunch one day. Author's Response: It really is as awesome as I have described... even more so. And the steaks are very good. It would be more than a pleasure to meet there for lunch...as long as you don't expect me to climb the tor afterwards. I can probably still manage to get up there but not on a full stomach... although a few drinks beforehand wouldn't be a bad idea Date: 03/18/2010 03:26 PM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephy, you captured that beautifully! Been thinking about what could be wrong with Angel, and I'm inclining towards witchcraft or in a milder form, some sort of hypnotism. Not a lot of people believe in the spirit world, but my own experience tells me otherwise. Perhaps a discussion for another day - or even a story...... Author's Response: A discussion sounds awesome. I love discussions. And I love the fact that my story has people thinking. Glastonbury is still one of my favourite places even though commercialism has somewhat overwhelmed it. My favourite cafe has gone and they charge the earth for Chalice Well and wont let you do ritual there... in case you offend someone. It's so sad. But the Tor is just the same and they still have the impromptu concerts at the top. And what can I say about the George... wait intil the next chapter to find out Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Date: 03/15/2010 06:53 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Wyndham These dreams and fits are scary. It doesn't bear thinking about that the Bishops might have found a way to bring them on. btw How is the painting coming on? Author's Response: Thank you hun. Yeah this is supposed to be a scary one. It gets worse The painting has stalled while waiting for supplied but will continue shortly I hope Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Date: 03/11/2010 05:52 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Cia Marcus is the most awesome man... He is so sweet and protective over Angel, just like a guy should be. Having a party for Charlie to throw is a good idea Now she won't be so in your face about them being lovey dovey, hee hee. This chapter was so sad through parts of it and also fun, quite the rollercoaster. This is a great one Author's Response: Thank you hun. Yeah I would like to have a man like Marcus to take care of me... but I would also like to have one like Angel to take care of. Maybe I should have them both... hmmm Thanks for reading and reveiwing even though you're already read it. Awesome. Thanks Again Date: 03/11/2010 04:37 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Cia Ooh...Marcus is one smart cookie. And Henry is a dweeb. I love this story! Your mind is devious and twisty, I love trying to follow it's turns! Author's Response: Gods don't follow me... you never know where you might end up Thanks hun. Your reviews always make me smile and mean such a lot to me. Date: 03/07/2010 11:49 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu You have a fertile and vivid imagination, even if a bit dark...I enjoy your writing. My guess...something with subliminal suggestions given him during his sleep periods. My guess is that he is being drugged to keep him sleeping and to make him more suggestible. If a pattern of seizures can be established which make him unable to carry out his responsibilities, then the Bishops can continue as his "guardians" to oversee his estate...after all, his father trusted them, didn't he? Oce a guardianship is established/continued due to his disabilities, then they would need to continue to keep him incapacitated. Author's Response: Excellent guess. I am blown away that anyone bothered Now I have two. In some parts you are very close in others not so much so. It's darker than you think Awesome review. Thank you so much Date: 03/06/2010 02:29 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Wyndham I don't know what could trigger the dreams to such a degree of accuracy, but I'm sure the Bishops are up to something. Why doesn't Charlie believe? Author's Response: Sometimes it's hard to believe what you don't want to believe. It's easier to thrust it to the back of your mind and say... it can't be happening. Maybe it isn't. You can be sure that the Bishops are up to something but whether it is what Marcus thinks it is ... that's another matter altogether. Date: 03/06/2010 10:45 AM Title: Prologue Reviewer: Wyndham Thank you for another lovely chapter Nephy. I do love the way this story is developing. Thank goodness Angel and Marcus have found each other, although I just know you have some surprises in store...! If it wasn't for the fact that I need to be doing other things (apart from just reading stories on Gay Authors), I would be pestering you for more, more, more *grin* As it is I think I spend too much time reading and not enough time writing! Author's Response: I have actually hit a bit of a strange spot at the moment. I have been posessed by some ideas that I don't think I can share so I have been writing just for myself. I have the rest of DBD and Enigma, which are complete and another 100k word story that I haven't started to post yet and that's it. I usually have at least two on the go but I'm being self indulgent right now. I am also doing some painting (check out the gallery) so I have to ration out what I have until I am off on another one and there's more. Date: 03/01/2010 03:28 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Cia This chapter is great. Angel finally showing Henry that he isn't a pushover was sooo overdue. In this case, I agree with Marcus when he says that sometimes it's called for, and this is definitely a case. "Ucky gay things..." oh gods, lmao, that line is great from a her. And the creepy dream with the voice...eeks! Great job Nephy! Author's Response: Thank you. Originally I was going to have Marcus sort Henry out but then I though that I was portraying Angel as a soppy wimp which he most certainly isn;t. As might be imagined things don't go too well for him as the story progresses and I want everyone to know how strong he is. At least at this point . The creepy voice is a nasty piece of work no doubt. Not even human... hmm The next chapter is going to be an interesting one. Date: 02/28/2010 09:08 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Wyndham Thank you Nephylim. I do so enjoy your stories. Did something go wrong with the formatting with this one? There is a lot of space between each paragraph..... Author's Response: Ooops. I usually check but it's sod's law the one time I didn't it goes wrong. Thanks for telling me I will go back and sort it out. Glad you are enoying the story Date: 02/22/2010 05:02 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Cia I love this chapter. To use a phrase that Marcus uses quite a bit, Angel and Marcus as a couple are 'perfect'. I love how Charlie keeps digging at them and let out a silent cheer when Marcus told Henry to go suck it!! Wonderful chapter! Author's Response: Marcus is awesome. He doesn't take any crap from anyone. Henry got a warning but he doesn't take it. Next time it's Angel who find his balls Date: 02/21/2010 09:50 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Ahhhhhhhhhh....... at last... it was worth waiting for. Yes. I understand now about their reservation... we all think we're like everyone else, and the more social we are the more difficult it is to accept our differences. Lovely!!! Author's Response: Thank you. Date: 02/21/2010 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Rigby Taylor It doesnt reallt make sense that marcus would be so reticent, after all Everyone loved Queer as Folk, Gay marriage is Ok, Queer is here and has been for at least 20 years... It's well written, but i cant believe it.. Author's Response: I don't think that Marcus was being reticent about being gay per se. He was just terrified of losing Angel as a friend by admitting he was in love with him. He is also confused himself because he doesn't identify as gay exactly. Angel is the first man he has fallen in love with... well to be honest he's the first person he has fallen in love with as deeply as this. He just doesn't know how to handle the whole thing and... typically of an upper class Englishman... and although he is American and somewhat hotheaded in other respects he has lived among the English aristocracy most of his life where everyone is constantly in the spotlight.. the press are always looking for stories and what goes on in bed goes on behind closed doors or on the front of next morning's paper. At the end of the day, quite apart from everything I have written above I don't think being gay or not being gay really has anything to do with Marcus' reticence. Even if Angel had been a woman he would have been the same... he's just terrified that if he admits his love to Angel he will be rejected and lose the friendship as well as the love. Date: 02/19/2010 05:38 AM Title: Prologue Reviewer: Rigby Taylor this is such a brilliant idea... using a 'chat room' setting... and those pseudonyms! Author's Response: Hehe... I actually got the idea when i was in chat right here at GA. Thanks for the comment hun. i hope you like the rest of it which isn't in chat Date: 02/18/2010 04:11 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: anordwell I have been remiss in my reading and reviewing. Sooo sorry, cause I love this story. The emotions as Marcus came out to Angel before are sooo well written, it's almost as if I could feel them. And the kissing scene in this chapter?! Wowsers... HOT HOT HOT! Angel and Marcus=one cute couple!! Poor Charlie though, lone girl out. Lovely chapter, Nephy!! Author's Response: Charlie can take it... although she does give them a hard time sometimes... just to keep them grounded. Glad you're liking it hun. New one coming soon... just havent decided which yet. Thanks as always for reviewing. Seeing you name makes me smile, no matter what you wrote. Date: 02/14/2010 07:27 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Wyndham Amazing and wonderful..... More please Author's Response: Thank you Oh there will definitely be more... lots more This one is gentler that the others so you don't have to be afraid to check in... although there is still plenty of excitment... I can't do sweet and gentle for too long... a few sentences maybe Date: 02/14/2010 01:14 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephylim!!! Another masterpiece Just love it. Where do you get all these stories? You have such imagination. Thank you. Author's Response: Aww... thanks hun. This is only just beginning. This is a big departure from me so it's kind of an adventure. Hope you like the ride Date: 02/08/2010 05:11 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: anordwell Yay! Henry got part of his comeuppance! I love that Marcus gave it to him too...I've been waiting for that. Charlie has this air of mischevious temper along with her dignity and breeding. I love that the characters in this story are so "real" not snobbish types! Can't wait for the next chapter! Author's Response: Thanks hun. They were very 'real' to me when I was writing them. Also I felt that there had to be 'real' people out there who also very rich... not all the rich and powerful people have to be like Henry. Also Marcus is American and Nuveau Riche so he's in a different class again. Charlie's spoiled little rich girl does come out sometimes but generally she's a sweetheart. Glad you like them. Date: 01/26/2010 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: David McLeod Marcus's ambivalence isn't the only source of tension, and you'll quickly see it. Oh, and "Titanic," at least the most recent version, is too a "chick flick." Author's Response: Hey... I like Titanic... oh okay... I'm a chick so I suppose I have to concede on that point. Nope... Marcus' ambivalence is absolutely not the only source of tension. In the next few chapters there will be a whole lot more Date: 01/21/2010 08:20 AM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod I knew it. More frightening; more evil. Nephylim doesn't have to say it; her words exude it. Will Angel's friends be able to save what is important? (Will they and Angel realize what is important?) The odds are that eventually they will; on the other hand, the odds are even greater that it's not going to be done without a walk through the depths of hell. I'm sure glad my cardiac stress test turned out well. Author's Response: I happen to like the depts of hell... there is nowhere else you can toast marshmallows quite as well... and the company is so much fun I am very glad your cardiac stress test turned out well too Date: 01/21/2010 08:18 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod So, Angel is Alexander (I wonder at the symbolism) surrounded by bullies (not unlike Alexander the Great's father, in fact) and at least one person who seems to adore him. Hmmm. If this weren't so frightening, it would be positively uplifting. On the other hand, I suspect that "frightening" is just the beginning. Author's Response: I don't know WHAT you mean Are you trying to suggest that my stories are fightening? *giggle*. Thank you for reading and reviewing... your comments always mean a lot to me. I chose Alexander because it is a very strong name and I want people to realise through everything that happens and although there are times when he doesn't seem it... essentially Angel is a VERY strong person. And yes, there were elements of Alexander the great in my mind when I was writing certain parts of the story. There are a lot of other things I had in mind to but this story more than any other came to me more or less compelte and just poured out. It is a scary story and its supposed to be. There are suggestions of the supernatural which may or may not lead to something more but overall... it's a murder mystery... whether or not there is a murder is revealed later. Date: 01/21/2010 08:10 AM Title: Prologue Reviewer: David McLeod Some interesting characters are definately going to face some interesting...and probably frightening...circumstances. Yes, Poor Angel. Oh, and thank you, Nephylim, for not using texting shorthand in the chat room! Date: 01/21/2010 08:06 AM Title: Prologue Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Another Great Chapter Nephy I'm excited to hear about the blue eyes idea, its very intruging Author's Response: It's only the start... just the start Mwahahahaha Date: 01/16/2010 07:30 AM Title: Prologue Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer a very good story as with all your ideas It isn't like anything you have written before and it is most certainly sucessful at portraying the slowness of time sort of thing. I LOVE the chat room scenes Its just great ^^ but there is only one issue i found, at certain points there are some lapses in grammar especially when you use the wrong tense of a word. Overall an amazing story! Well Done Nephy! Author's Response: I shall have to check that and smack Rush on the wrists for missing it. See that's what I get when I ask someone else to edit... I get lazy. Glad you like the story. And thanks for the review, it's much appreciated. It gets wild at times but not as wild as some of my others... Date: 01/14/2010 05:31 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: FishWings Nephy! What a wonderful story so far. I love how you did the prologue in all chat format, but then brought us into flashbacks in chapter one. It was like being submerged in a dream, and then resurfacing to reality. Very cool. Poor Angel : (. Wonder what CusCus has planned... Author's Response: It's not CusCus he needs to be worried about Thanks for reading and reviewing. This is a big departure for me and is quite different from my other stuff so it will be interesting to see what everyone thinks about it. Although thinking about it all my stories are departures from my usual stuff Date: 01/13/2010 09:40 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham mmm Another good one I think Nephylim. I'm looking forward to see how it develops. Author's Response: Thank you. It's just the start. This is very different and I am not sure how the chapter by chapter thing is going to pan out. This one is a lot slower paced than some of my others... more gentle... in a way. I would appreciate feedback on that... thanks, I'm glad you are liking it so far Date: 01/13/2010 05:52 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham What a great new way to start a story One suggestion if I may - there is a typo in the Authors Chapter Notes. "In the chat room...maybe even right her on GA" - I think you meant "here"... Love, Wyndham Author's Response: Hehe... I don't edit the chapter notes... didn't think anyone actually read them :P Will fix. Thanks :) Date: 01/13/2010 05:33 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: anordwell I love the line where Angel's mom is telling him why he is called angel..."I didn’t know, when you were born, what an Angel you would turn out to be.” I think most parents think that about their children, at least until the devil slips in and tweaks them a time or two, lol. Henry just needs his ass beat down into the ground, nasty bully! That's what he is, just an overgrown schoolyard bully! Love it Nephy :) Author's Response: Thanks hun. Glad you're liking it. Henry is a typical upper class twat... you see them everywhere in places like Chelsea and Kensington. There should be specialist exterminators. They're kind of like Paris Hilton without the class :) Date: 01/12/2010 06:24 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jhol7689 I LOVE the names LOL very good story so far:) Author's Response: Which names? the chat room ones or the character ones. I had a devil of a job picking the chat room ones. I'm really bad at naming generally. Glad you are liking it. It's quite a departure for me from the doom and gloom of my usual stuff... although there is just enough of that in here to keep me interested :) Date: 01/12/2010 06:22 PM Title: Prologue Reviewer: anordwell I love the chat format for this, it is quite a departure from the start I normally read! It's fun to guess who is going to be who too :) Author's Response: That was so fun to write. I got the idea when I was chatting to you actually :) Date: 01/12/2010 06:19 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 At least Angel has people who care and protect him no matter what. Author's Response: Yes he does. Although one of them is rather annoying and the other a little too protective. Ah well makes for an interesting story I think :) Date: 01/12/2010 04:27 PM Title: Prologue Reviewer: taina1959 Huh... guess the smiley face didn't want to cooperate still... J ! LOL Great story Nephy! I trully think this is by far my favorite one! Author's Response: Is there still a J in there? I thought I had changed them to say *smiley face* well... for smiley faces they weren't very friendly were they? Unlike you dear friend. You do an awesome job of editing and I am so glad that you enjoy the stories as well. This is actually one of my favourites too... not least because it is very different to anything i have written before. It's quite non twisted for me :) Well relatively Date: 01/12/2010 04:25 PM

Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: JimCarter I have been out of town and took this story with me. I was very conflicted reading this story. I like to look at the world though rose colored glasses, so this story was on the dark side for my tastes. I'm sure the only way the story could be told was from a dark flavor. It says a lot that I finished it. As I said my unrealistic rose colored view of the world makes it hard for me to stay with a story that doesn't enhance my rosey outlook. ;-) That tells me you did an excellent job of telling the story. I start a lot more stories than I ever finish reading. My rose colored glasses may be unrealistic, but I have learned to live with them. Great job. Author's Response: I totally and absolutely agree. Rose coloured glasses are awesome and I think I only take mine off when I write. I LOVE it that you told me how hard it was for you to read this story because now I feel totally humble and honoured that you read it all through. I hope you got your rose tinted glasses back by the end All of my stories have dark sides but most of them end happily in the end. I think you might like Special which is more optimistic and Hostage isn't too dark at all. Whatever you do DO NOT try to read Love in Chains Date: 11/06/2010 03:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: JimCarter I found a couple of sentences that I read incorrectly the first time I read them. It is interesting and it really pulled me in. I had guessed Silver was either extemely beautiful or extremely hung one or the other. Hope to have the time to read chapter 2 shortly. Author's Response: It might be both Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. I hope you like the rest of it Date: 10/27/2010 09:45 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: Forty-Two Aw, one final little victory. Overall I really liked the characters and the hyper-real feel of the world. It was all a little like reading by the light of fireflies on a lillypad while bathing in moonlight. The sentence structure and grammatical choices irked me at times, a few long sentences, a lack of punctuation (but then I sometimes get told I over-use commas and such), and some stilted dialogue. The plot was very well thought out but felt a little thin at times. The ups and downs of drama and in-between were well placed, the pace very good and always leaving me wanting more at the end of a chapter. The info about how a care home is run felt very stark, real, and well researched. As the story went on everything outside of Silver and River just kind of melted away... but that's a reflection of River's head a life becoming consumed with Silver. Author's Response: Thank you. That was honest and helpful. I know that I still have a tendency to let my sentences run away with me even when I'm looking out for them. Also I try to cut down on the punctuation as much as I can because I can get carried away with that too. Hmm. I shall have to try harder. I don't know how easy it would be for you to do but could you point out where the dialogue was stilted? You may have noticed that I use a lo of dialogue becuase when I am writing I 'am' the character so it would be very helpful to see an example of where it doesn't work so I can improve on that. Yes, River was becoming very immersed in and consumed by Silver and that kind of relationship just can't be sustained as we will see in book two. Date: 08/27/2010 12:06 AM Title: Chapter 25 - Love Sweet Love Reviewer: Forty-Two I wonder how much Silver's skill will fade over time when he's no longer being trained, controlled, or "exercising"... or will he always be able to act just like this? Author's Response: We'll get to explore this in the next book where Silver will be putting his skills to good use. Date: 08/26/2010 11:56 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: Forty-Two River is a very smart man. He'd better get another job as a carer once life settles a bit! Author's Response: He's going to university to train as a nurse. Date: 08/26/2010 11:41 PM Title: Chapter 23 - Saying Goodbye and Moving On. Reviewer: Forty-Two It's nice to see obstacles that characters have to overcome after the big scary climax, the more truthful emptional barriers, but without it being pure angsty whining. I was thinking that David's slave name was Leo... I guess that must have been Nikki's? Author's Response: Peaches wasn't his slave name it was a name that Faith gave him because he bruised as easily as a peach. Come to think of it I never did explain that in the story did I. Maybe I should. Date: 08/26/2010 11:24 PM Title: Chapter 22 - The Aftermath Reviewer: Forty-Two The last couple of chapters have been a little over-indulgent on the emotional wrap-up to it all. I am wondering what is left to fill three more chapters... Author's Response: Read on and you'll find out Date: 08/26/2010 11:10 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Going Home Reviewer: Forty-Two "Meh" is totally my kind of word too Author's Response: I love that word. I use it all the time. I've taken some ribbing for it I can tell you Seems like there are a lot more people on here who use it than in the general population Meh Date: 08/26/2010 10:45 PM Title: Chapter 18 - The Miracle That Is Reviewer: Forty-Two A little TOO mushy in some spots, but sweet and endearing all the same. Author's Response: Haha. TOO musy? Is there such a thing. I like mushy. I figured that after all that just happened the boys deserved it Date: 08/26/2010 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: Forty-Two I totally agree with having a chapter that is nothing but waiting... but especially in the first half the repetativeness (for the readers) of River going over the story we just followed by reiterating the sentiments we just read felt repetative and unnecessary. But I like that River has support in Sam and that he's more than just a generic background cop character. Author's Response: I did wonder about that. I decided to go ahead with it for two reasons. Firstly because I have been totally 'outside' and I wanted to show totally what River was feeling... and his perspective on what had gone before... and because so much has happened that I wanted pause to reflect. The story changes quite a lot after this and I want to highlight that fact. Hmm... Thanks for making me thing again. Date: 08/26/2010 12:11 AM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: Forty-Two Faith sounds a lot better here, his comments and musings more natural and flowing. Was it wrong to be a little turned on? Author's Response: Totally not wrong. I was Date: 08/25/2010 11:48 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Feeling Yourself Again Reviewer: Forty-Two The hardest part to read was when they cut his hair. The number of times you described it's beauty and showed the pleasure River took in caring for it and the pleasure Silver took from the attention - that was the moment that made me gasp in horror. And it felt so redeeming and right when you said that it didn't matter, he's beautiful no matter what they do to him. Author's Response: No one has commented on that and it was totally what I felt when I wrote it. I suppose it's because I'm vain about my hair Date: 08/25/2010 11:32 PM Title: Chapter 14 - Past Present Reviewer: Forty-Two Faith went on for a little too long, gave a bit too much detail, tied up every loose end just a little too perfectly. Leaving a little of the motivation and explanation out of it would have felt a bit more natural. Author's Response: DAMN!!!!! I give up Date: 08/25/2010 03:40 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Forty-Two I love the metaphor of souls being like swords. The description of this and this kiss are breathtakingly beautiful. Author's Response: Date: 08/25/2010 02:41 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: Forty-Two The lack of contractions when people speak stands out to me... makes thoughts and meanings seem a little too stiff and formal. That your author's response got sucked into the great cyberspace oblivion for ch 8 makes me sad. The theory I'm working with is that it happens when you use italics or other fancy formatting. Author's Response: AHA... there were brackets in there. I wonder if that was it. (let's see if this works and I will add this comment to the next if it does) Date: 08/25/2010 01:49 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: Forty-Two The doctor is the first character who feels a little like he's been cut out of cardboard. His manner of speaking is very scripted and too straight to the (plot) point. I know nothing of this profession or care houses in real life, but I'm pretty sure they'd never do what River's going to do, but again, that's kind of the point of the story and your artistic license. Author's Response: Date: 08/25/2010 01:05 AM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: Forty-Two Haunting, beautiful. I love the lack of specific details of their love life and the physical services, leaving it open to the readers imagination and interpretation, unimaginable really. Author's Response: Yes, I didn't want to be too specific at all about sex in this one. It would have been easy to make the whole story about sex as that is the underlying thrust after all which is exactly why I left it out as much as I could Date: 08/25/2010 12:48 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: Forty-Two The plot thickens and I like where it is going. I've found the last couple of chapters to be a little slow... but that's kind of the nature of this kind of harsh realism story. I tend to choose stories that have more action because I read to escape the repetative bland nature of waking up, showering, and eating toast every day. But it's good to read outside your preference or comfort zone sometimes. BTW, of course I planned on leaving SOME reviews! It's not that hard or time consuming to jot down a couple final thoughts at the end of the chapter Author's Response: Thank you. I get so excited when I see someone has left a review and reading what's been said. i think it has definitely made my writing better. For example someone once said in a review that my sentences had a tendency to run away with themselves... and now I always look out for that. Not that they still dont have a tendency to do that when I'm not looking but at least I'm aware of it and trying Date: 08/25/2010 12:28 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: Forty-Two "My heart almost stops for the longest fraction of a second that stretches to the shortest of eons." I love the way you phrased this. Very poetic, very meaningful. The only other fics I have read that involve an abused sex slave getting rehabilitated were Spike/Xander or Spike/Angel fanfics, so it'll be interesting to read the genre (right word?) from a more serious perspective with original characters. Author's Response: It is a theme that I have looked at in a number of sources and I felt that there has been recognition of the drama of it... and there is to some extent in this story... but there is little about the effects that linger, what it does to the person after he's returned to reality, his mind, his relationships, those around him. I touched on it in LIC but I wanted to go further. I do in this one and even more in the second story. Date: 08/25/2010 12:03 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Forty-Two It seems odd that River would shower in front of Silver. Maybe it's an equality thing since he has to watch Silver? It still would have seemed more realistic if River had asked someone else to watch Silver while he used the employee washroom. (But that makes your plot harder to enact, doesn't it? ) Author's Response: There has to be some artistic license Let's face it none of this would happen in reality.. well none of the good stuff My ex used to work in one of those places Date: 08/24/2010 02:07 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Forty-Two Your characters are always have such unique character. No one is ever quite "normal," everyone has their insightful little quirks. The worlds you build are bording on surreality and its very intreguing. Author's Response: I think I am bordering on surreality hun so no surprises there I'm glad you're getting intrigued. Date: 08/24/2010 01:30 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Forty-Two Interesting start. I find it a little bland to start a story with "everything is great and normal," not that the character can't be happy, but that there's no action to hook readers right away. It's fun to read something with so many britishisms again. Author's Response: HAHA... Britishisms. Shall have to watch out for those. I told you that you didn't have to reveiw but hey it was a LOVELY surprise that you did Date: 08/24/2010 01:01 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: adamo I'll check that out. You're making me nervous. Are you saying that River and Silver are going to split up? Author's Response: I'm not saying anything other than that relationships where the balance of power is totally unequal don't last in the long run. A lot can happen in one of my stories. Date: 07/24/2010 06:56 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: adamo Such a precious and thought-provoking story. Difficult at times to read, but what stories of your's aren't:). It was incredible to read about Silver recovering from such a horrific tragedy, regaining his self and falling in love. River and Silver are so beautiful together. Can't wait for Enigma II. Author's Response: Thank you. I am so glad you like what is my favourite story I have ever written. it's the only one I have written a sequel to... ever. I think that SIlver and River are totally awesome together. They fit so well. But there is an inequality in their relationship that would never last in the long run. Thank you so much for your review. Enigma is being discussed in the Five Chapter Book Club why not pop over and have your say Date: 07/23/2010 07:11 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: adamo Any idea when you'll start posting Enigma II? Author's Response: It's in production. I am writing the last chapters and I want to have it all completely finished before I start to post. It's very different and both RIver and Silver change through the course of it. It's for you to decide if they change for the better or worse. Silver has found a voice in this one and I think he thinks it's for the better by the end Date: 07/23/2010 07:01 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Jindal LOVELY story in the end, I really can't start describing how good it was, I have to say though, it took me a while to warm to it. Didn't immediately fall in love with the story, but it really was worth it to keep reading, and I have to say, this line: "Don't underestimate me River", he says softly. "I know what I want. I know how to love". and the entire conversation that followed was the high point of the book, it was awesome seeing Silver being firm and knowing what he wants after all that had happened to him. But now I'm kinda SCARED to read your other stories if this is meant to be one of your "lighter, sunnier" creations lol. Zachary Knighton(Flashforward) as River, don't ask me why, but he just randomly popped into my head. I don't think I see Johnny Depp as Silver mainly because there's something almost effeminate about Silver's beauty while I think Johnny is a bit more masculine. After watching Dorian Gray, I have to say, Ben Barnes wouldn't make a bad Silver at all Author's Response: You know what? I think you might be right. I really can see Zachary as River although I think Ben is too rugged for Silver. He is very fey. Atually this story isn't one of my 'lighter' ones at all. If you didn't like what happened to Silver in the warehouse don't real LIC. Dangerous Liaisons might be a good one though, nothing too heavy there...Death is Not an Option has its lighter moments too. The 'lightest' of my stories though are Hubble Bubble and Hostage. Thanks ever so much for the review. A lot of people liked that line and that passage. It was certainly a turning point for Silver. I am so glad you liked the story and that you have thought of the characters. *hugs* Date: 06/25/2010 12:03 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: phana14 nephylim-please never ever stop telling stories-dave Author's Response: I can't. It's in my blood. I don't live to write I write to live There is a sequel in the process so I hope you will enjoy that one too. Thanks so much for your comments, ever one of them made me smile. Date: 06/23/2010 05:59 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: phana14 Ok, Nephy, Here goes! "Don't underestimate me River", he says softly. "I know what I want. I know how to love". Comicality asked a question recently re: whether us "readers" tended to put a personality to the characters that we were reading about. Nephylim--You just gave a perfect answer to that! Because, caught up in this chapter as I was, I realized that I was "hearing" all of the different people in their (my) own voices! I "heard" Silver speaking to River-and vice versa. I was IN that room! OK! nighty nite! *hugs* Author's Response: Well... I think that must be the nicest comment anyone has ever given me. It has to be every author's dream to hear that from one of their readers. I was tired, fed up and sick (and NOT from alcohol.. I swear it was the sun ) but now I am smiling so hard I might split my face. Thank you. Night night *great big smiley hugs* Date: 06/22/2010 05:01 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: phana14 postcard ___________________________________________ HI Nephy! Well, we are in Utopia USA, at the moment. Don't really know where the next few miles will take us. But, if it's anything near like the past few miles, I reckon they named this place right well! We're right obliged to you for the entertainment!! Thankey. _____________________________________________ I hope that wasn't over the edge, Nephy! Because we are LOVING the story!! Author's Response: What edge? I am really glad you like the story and the postcard was fabulous. You just make me want to be on the roadtrip with you Take care and don't take your eyes off the road to read Date: 06/22/2010 02:35 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: phana14 "...with a sigh the figure in the bed turns over..." Nephy! I swear to God that when I read that line, it was the last line (on the bottom) showing on the monitor. Sooo--line by line-- I slowly allowed you to introduce me to-*Silver*! And I slowly, but surely, fell deeply in love! God! What a descriptive introduction you gave!! Well, it appears the *bus* is arriving and we must climb aboard-again. I wonder just how many of us know (or knew) a person who "walked lightly on the earth"? So beautifully phrased. Sweet Jesus! But don't you have a way with words! I hope to be able to send you a postcard from somewhere during the ride. Author's Response: Bless you, that was sweet. I fell hopelessly in love with Silver from the very first chapter I wrote him into and the infatuation got so bad that for the first time ever I have had to write a sequel. He's quite a guy I'm glad you're liking the story and I'm looking forward to the postcards. Date: 06/22/2010 10:58 AM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: Jindal There's something about River's story, I just can't place it, it's like...um, I feel really touched by it, but I really just can't connect with it at all, it just seems like some kinda far off story, which in turn makes me pity him rather than feel compassion towards him, it's weird. Author's Response: I think that was almost the effect I wanted. Nikki is very much in the past and it wasn't intended that anyone should really feel connected with him. It was written with pathos and it's only real purpose was to explain some of the ways he reacts to Silver and a comparison to show that people with similar backgrounds can turn out very differently. There is another character later on that does the same thing. In many ways Nikki isn't even a really person. Date: 06/21/2010 01:58 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Jindal I'm not sure why, but when I picture someone playing Julia, I can't think of anyone besides Kristen Chenoweth. Author's Response: I pictured her more like a less 'well developed' Lily Allen What about the rest? How would you cast this production? I have to insist on having Jonny Depp for Silver though Date: 06/21/2010 01:03 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Probably the most heart wrenching, engaging, addicting story I have ever read. BRAVO!! Hope to see Enigma 2 soon, can hardly wait. Author's Response: WOW that some indictment. Thanks hun I appreciate the comment on probably my favourite story I have ever written. Enigma II is in production. Currently I am on 120,000 words and still going strong so it's going to be a beast. Date: 06/17/2010 08:30 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: Riley Jericho It's the end of an era, and yet, even with that end, I feel strangely satisfied! What a journey Neph - you had me hooked from the outset and I loved it. Congrats! Worth at least 20 out of 10! Riley PS Looking forward to seeing where you go with the sequel. Author's Response: I'm glad the story left you satisfied. It's been quite the roller coaster at times. I'm glad the story hooked you... now you know how I feel about yours ;P Against the Machine had me totoally gobsmacked. The sequel starts a few months after this one ends and goes in an entirely different direction. I hope you like it Date: 06/04/2010 09:13 AM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: hh5 Happy for now. Happy for resolution of David. Silver needs plenty of rehab Book2 But gosh they split up? I can't believe someone new for River? Silver to do the work he's been through? River job was the care of silver? New job? Lots to see in the next one Author's Response: Did I say they were going to split up? Hmmm... River's job to care for Silver? No, I don't think so. River's job used to be caring for Silver, now it's teaching/allowing Silver to care for himself. Date: 06/03/2010 02:30 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: Johnathan Colourfield Wow What an amazing journey Nephy I am thoroughly proud of this You have come so far since you first posted and i believe this is the best work you have ever written I look forward to the next one and i hope one day that i can write as well as you one day Author's Response: Honey, if I could have written the way you do when I was your age I would be in print by now. Never underestimate the benefit of age on the style and content of writing. That is NOT to say that young authors can't write well... you are testament to that, it's more like a fine wine that improves with age. The flavour gets more mature as you get more experiences to put in there. Thank you so much for following this story which is my favourite so far. I am sure that Silver and River apprecaite it too. I agree that I have come a long way since I started posting. When I read some of the early stuff I really don't know whether to leave it there, revise it or remove it. I am thinking at the moment that I will leave it there for now so that people can share my journey. Your comment meant a hella lot hun. Thanks again. Date: 06/03/2010 12:14 PM Title: Epilogue - The End Reviewer: NightOwl A wonderful to a great story. I think this is one of the best works of yours that I've read. I'm looking forward to Enigma II. Best, NightOwl Author's Response: Thanks hun I am so grateful that you stuck with me on this one. i cherish your reviews. I agree with you about this being the best I've written so far. It is certainly my favourite, although Hostage comes a close second. Maybe I should give all my stories one word titles, it seems to be working Date: 06/02/2010 10:59 AM Title: Chapter 25 - Love Sweet Love Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Thank you for this story. It has been a beautiful ride...ups and downs...but over all, quite, quite beautiful. Author's Response: Thank you hun. It's been a pleasure to write and to share with you. Thanks for sticking with it and for telling me that i am doing SOMETHING right Date: 06/02/2010 07:27 AM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: Johnathan Colourfield Nice Chapter Not as of your standard though but i'm sure thats because you aren't well honey My only advice is that if you don't feel that its of a good standard then don't post it. Thats why half my stories go in the recycle bin Author's Response: It was written a long time before I was ill hun. But thanks so much for your concern and your advice. It's so great to know that people care. I actually liked this chapter, it changes the pace considerably and sets the scene for the next one, which is the last. *hugs* Date: 05/31/2010 05:19 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: NightOwl Loved the most recent chapter Nephy, meeting David's family, it was good for Silver, that above anything else was closure for him i think. I look forward to the end chapter and the epilogue. Best, NightOwl Author's Response: Thanks hun. It was closure... at least for this book Thank you for your loyalty to the story and I hope you like the next one just as much Date: 05/30/2010 08:10 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: hh5 Gosh two halves of life made whole for both concern. Now will Silver move on - it looks like he will. Sounds good start for a sequel? Author's Response: Oh yeah, the serial is already in prouction. But this is not the end Date: 05/30/2010 12:49 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: Clovis Oh Nephy... tears and runny nose pouring from sentimental overload. I adore tales that end like this -- worth all the horror. thanks. XXX C Author's Response: UGH more snot It's not over yet. One more chapter and an Epilogue to go. You know me, a lot can happen in that space. Date: 05/29/2010 08:29 PM Title: Chapter 23 - Saying Goodbye and Moving On. Reviewer: Clovis Tears are streaming over my cheeks.... so well conceived is this. Author's Response: Awww... I'm sorry you got snotty but I'm really glad that it touched you. I really liked this chapter myself, I can't say it was fun to write but it was certainly rewarding. Date: 05/29/2010 08:18 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Surprise Gifts Reviewer: Riley Jericho Neph, that was precious! And you made Robert a Deacon... I an only hope my deacon turns ou as well! I think there's something important about being able to lay down a burden - in this case Silver's deep memories and love for David. Though it sounds easy, it is almost impossible to do. But what you can do is give it to safe hands. Just as Silver passes the extremely valuable legacy of David back to his brother. Great chapter. Riley Author's Response: Cool. You totally got it. Date: 05/29/2010 03:30 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: Caedus So deliciously cruel. I'm at 19 at this point and I am really enjoying your story so far. This conditioning is intriguing. To think such a repetition vocal commands and biting could have that deep an effect mentally to bring about such a physical response.... Author's Response: There's a lot more to conditioning slaves than that. They go through esentially years of continual abuse of various kinds which focusses on stripping away the identity and making them absolutely obedient to the master at all times. There are stories out there who explain in more detail. I would recomment Everboi on Lugh's site, Land of the Fey if you really want to go into that much detail. Alternatively for somewaht less graphic but probably equally shocking details read my Love in Chains. It's quite shocking though. Date: 05/22/2010 01:36 AM Title: Chapter 23 - Saying Goodbye and Moving On. Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer AHHH what is it? I really want to know me likey! Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. I glad you likey. You find out soon enough. Date: 05/20/2010 02:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu OK...you are awful. Just wanted you to know that...truly, truly awful. Thank you for a lovely chapter. Author's Response: I take that as a compliment I'm glad you liked the chapter. I loved writing it. Thank you for the review I am very grateful Date: 05/19/2010 04:11 PM Title: Chapter 23 - Saying Goodbye and Moving On. Reviewer: Riley Jericho OK. I cried. Riley Author's Response: awww... glad to hear it Thanks for the review and the admission Date: 05/19/2010 03:24 PM Title: Chapter 23 - Saying Goodbye and Moving On. Reviewer: NightOwl Ok that is SOOOOO not fair. You hint to this object and then don't tell us what it is lol. I mean I am assuming that it is a picture or painting of some sort that Silver has done but I don't know. I loved the chapter, it was heart breaking but amazing at the same time, loved it. Author's Response: Date: 05/19/2010 02:25 PM Title: Chapter 22 - The Aftermath Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Okay... if this isnt the ending what is going to come? I am very scared for the both of them Author's Response: Oh no definitely not the ending put it this way... one of my favourite haunts is about to make an appearance. Date: 05/16/2010 12:18 PM Title: Chapter 21 - Consequences Reviewer: Clovis Oh very good........... Author's Response: Thank you There are still a few chapters yet for things to go horribly wrong Date: 05/14/2010 05:02 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Going Home Reviewer: Clovis You really are too much! I was lusting after Nick! Author's Response: Serve you right Sorry about that. But aren't there enough tasty characters in this story already. I mean if River and Silver are a bit too much there's always Sam Thanks for taking time to review and tell me about my terrible mistake with Nick Come to think of it there are two Nick/Nikki's who got snuffed in this one. Hmm Maybe I'll make that a theme... killing off all my characters called Nick. Watch out Date: 05/14/2010 04:56 PM Title: Chapter 21 - Consequences Reviewer: NightOwl Good chapter, its nice to know that Faith is dead. I feel sorry for the boys though, busted ribs and gunshot on one, concussion and shock for another. I look forward to seeing Sam again. Best, NightOwl Author's Response: Ah well...if you will shack up with a sex slave you're going to have to expect adventures. Sam crops up again briefly but he has a much greater presence in Book 2. He's a good man Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Your views are always appreciated. Date: 05/13/2010 06:31 PM Title: Chapter 21 - Consequences Reviewer: hh5 its hard to figure what injury river has. we know who has the bullet. concussion for sure. one wonders if the tables have been turned. silver takes care of river. now what injury does silver have? next chapter - they share an iv bottle Author's Response: Hehe. River is fine, don't worry. Physically anyway Date: 05/12/2010 06:38 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Going Home Reviewer: Riley Jericho Well, my guess is that there is something particularly healing about being able to stick it to someone! We can always have both faith and hope for the next chapter!! Riley Author's Response: You could be right Or... you could be wrong. My guess is that it is going to take more than that Thanks as always for the reviews... they always make me smile Date: 05/10/2010 02:50 AM Title: Chapter 19 - Moving On Reviewer: Riley Jericho Beautiful to see the two getting to know each other in ways that hadn't been possible before. River so protective, yet Silver, even despite his wounds, becoming cheekily spunky! River got a bit spunky too! Riley Author's Response: He did indeed And something tells me it's not going to be the last time. It's what Silver does best after all There's a lot of getting to know each other to do. That is explored a little in the rest of this story and in much more detail in Book 2. (Okay so I'm plugging Book 2 and it's still only half written ) Thanks for the spunky review Date: 05/10/2010 02:48 AM Title: Chapter 20 - Going Home Reviewer: hh5 Uh I think seeing two bullets deters the thought that faith has it coming Author's Response: Oh he has it coming alright. Only question is... what? Thanks as always for your review hun. Date: 05/10/2010 01:31 AM Title: Chapter 20 - Going Home Reviewer: NightOwl Poor Nick, i really liked him, short though his part was lol. I can't wait to see what happens to Faith, I hope it's fatal....or at least painful... best Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: Yeah, I kind of liked Nick too, although he fulfilled his functions which were 1) to show River that there was a life out there that was not necessarily connected with Silver except that it was Faith is in for a nasty surprise. He has worked in a world where everyone is used to be subservient and don't fight back... welcome to the resl world Faith. Date: 05/09/2010 09:18 PM Title: Chapter 19 - Moving On Reviewer: Clovis Argh... when Silver touches my body my brain turns too mulch. and why do i feel in my bones that disaster is about to strike? Author's Response: You don't trust me? Hasn't disastrer struck enough already? Okay... maybe just a little one Date: 05/08/2010 03:18 AM Title: Chapter 18 - The Miracle That Is Reviewer: Wyndham This is so nice. Been Reading this in between watching the election results. This is better! Author's Response: Better that what? :P The election results or the previous chapters :) Glad you're hanging on in there. The worst is over now :) Date: 05/07/2010 07:43 AM Title: Chapter 19 - Moving On Reviewer: NightOwl Wonderful chapter Nephylim, Silver's speech toward the end was very touching, I look forward to seeing exactly *WHO* Silver becomes int he future, he strikes me as a slow Jazz guy now lol. Author's Response: You know... you may very well be right about the Jazz. I love Jazz myself so I'll have to write some in to Book II. That's really where Silver 'finds himself' He's so awesome. Wait until you find out what his past has taught him ;) It came as quite a shock to River I can tell you Thanks as always for your review hun :) Date: 05/05/2010 08:27 PM Title: Chapter 19 - Moving On Reviewer: taina1959 As always my darling, your stories create a Magic Spell on me! Love the way you devevlop your scenes and your characters are simply De.Li.Cious! Luv Ya My Wonderful Wife (to be)!!! Author's Response: I have missed you sexy :) Thanks for the review... nice to know the magic still works :) Date: 05/05/2010 04:57 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: adamo I really love your story. River and Silver are such unique and beautiful characters. I hope they don't have to suffer anymore. When do you think you will continue? Author's Response: Now :) Don't worry the story is completely written so you don't have to wait for me to write more only to remember to post :) Thanks for your comments about Silver and River... I like them too... nope I love them. There are still some adventures left. Date: 05/04/2010 05:55 PM Title: Chapter 18 - The Miracle That Is Reviewer: Riley Jericho Oh dear. That's really mean!! Why can't you just leave us be to wallow in a nice ending? But you're not are you...I know you're not. I can almost smell it - or am I just sniffing an odour of Faith drifting by? As they say, 'faith' can be a belief in something you can't see - but you still know it's there! Riley Author's Response: Date: 05/02/2010 12:26 PM Title: Chapter 18 - The Miracle That Is Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer one word... AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :) You are too sweet nephy :D But if i know you something shitty is going to happen to them anyways :P How are you feeling? If you love Silver half as much as you say you do, you are going to do something much more horrid (if there is something you can come up with that is more horrid than what has happened before...) Author's Response: Oh you of little faith. How do you know it's Silver that something shitty is going to happen to :P:) Date: 05/02/2010 05:21 AM Title: Chapter 18 - The Miracle That Is Reviewer: hh5 hehe I feel the same like Silver. Author's Response: stick with us then because Silver's journey takes him to all sorts of places in this and the next book Date: 05/01/2010 07:01 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: NightOwl A great chapter Nephylim, I like Sam, for some reason he pricks at my memory, like I've read him before..wierd. Good work, look forward to reading more. best Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: Thanks hun. Always a pleasure to read a review from you. Heck I hope you haven't read Sam before. I didn't mean to steal him from anyone honest. Date: 04/30/2010 10:48 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: Riley Jericho I don't know, I'm still nervous. Part of me couldn't quite beileve you would kill Silver. I so hope I'm going to be right....it would kill me if otherwise! Riley Author's Response: I'm sure you'd survive :) Thanks for getting so involved. I love River and Silver so much it's awesome to know that others do too :) Date: 04/30/2010 01:26 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: Clovis OK you're off the hook - for now. Very nice scene between River and Sam... More miracles please. Author's Response: Thank you sir. I shall poke my nose out of my hiding place and sniff the air to see if there is any blood on the wind...mine that it :P Chapter 18 is titled - The Miracle That Is. Make of that what you please :P Date: 04/29/2010 04:00 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: hh5 River ... Happy for now ... more suffering sucatash for silver? Author's Response: Of course :) Date: 04/29/2010 04:34 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Against All The Odds Reviewer: Nanmander Beautiful. You know, what's really sinister and frightening is Faith's name...such a lovely name for such a twisted person. Oh, and I heart Terry Pratchett. Author's Response: Hehe... you picked that up. That was deliberate. I liked writing this chapter because it was a kind of pause...a taking stock. So much has happened and so fast and so this was a chance for the reader as well as River to sit back and refelct on what exactly has happened. Things move on quickly from here and so this is a quiet time. I suppose in a way it's the calm before the storm... or the eye of the hurricane. Thanks for sticking with the story through the hard times. There is light on the horizon.. but it's hidden behind storm clouds which sometimes block out the sun completely. But then isnt that the way everyone's life goes. Date: 04/28/2010 04:03 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: David McLeod Oh, my. "Good work? Yeah right. It was a piece of work [all right]." River's thoughts encompass not only Silver's painting, but also the situation River has, perhaps unintentionally, perhaps guided by his subconscious, created. Does River have regrets? Is the doctor going to take River where he (and we) want him to go? Nephylim's warning in the end notes that "disaster looms" may be the most superfluous words ever written. Of course disaster looms! It's been much too beautiful and beautifully erotic for the past couple of chapters. Author's Response: Ah but where does the disaster loom... that's the question :) Date: 04/25/2010 01:36 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: David McLeod This chapter was entirely too "feel-good," and you know what that means: something awful is about to happen. I get sucked in, every time, even though I know what Nephylim is doing. Sometimes I feel like the Fool (the Tarot Card in Dolores Esteban's play, "Devilish"), blithely about to step over a cliff. Oh well, in this case, it's a good feeling. Author's Response: Aww hun... don't you trust me? :) Thanks for the lovely review. You can breathe easily and relax and enjoy at least the next few chapters :) Date: 04/25/2010 06:15 AM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: David McLeod "Bought" "brought." Can anything else more perfectly define the depravity? Yes, actually. And only Nephylim can write it. We sink deepeer than we'd expect; yet, at the very last, there's a ray of hope. Which we're pretty sure will be extinguished. Author's Response: Thank you hun... I hope you won't hurt me when you get deeper into the story :) Date: 04/24/2010 01:11 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: hh5 just cherrypick some of chapters to read and this is like "Sufferin' succotash!" (a quote from a cartoon) Author's Response: Hehe. Yeah I recognise it. Teach you cherrypick then... you're likely to pick the wrong cherries somtimes... the ones that can choke you :) Anyway, thanks as ever for reading and reviewing. Date: 04/24/2010 12:04 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: Terpi You are cruel. Author's Response: Oh yes... cruel and unusual punishment is the best kind :) I AM the Queen of Evil :P But there is light yet to come. This is he darkness before dawn. The story rises from here and I promise there is a happy ending... kind of :) Date: 04/24/2010 08:01 AM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: Clovis If you let silver die i will not forgive you!@!!*&%$#@!()* Author's Response: Oh dear. I knew there was going to be backlash... but I really didn't expect swearing from you... for shame :P One way or another Silver is already dead but if you want to know whether his body goes on you will have to read the next chapter... which River spends mostly in tears :P Date: 04/23/2010 09:00 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: Jamie de Valen Yes... 15 and 16… both very very painful; heartbreakingly painful…aagghh! Each chapter was hurtful to read. To see Silver once again subjected to torture and brutality was extremely sad. To see River forced to have to watch was every bit as tragic. To think that River had to live through his friend Nikki’s death, and now this horrendous crime involving Silver would break and crush the human spirit of anyone. That River is a carer is even more difficult since his nature is to nurture not to hurt; keeping in mind that some of Silver’s torture was purposefully done to make River suffer. Of course that tactic worked, and evil has ground it dirty boot heel into River’s heart. This makes the over-all chapters even more raw and brutal. Reach your hand into a box chock full of razor blades… that’s how I feel. The fact that Silver lost his hair I think was a good move. While Faith thought he punished him by doing it, I think it was metaphorically pure. A cut, both real and metaphysical… he’s no longer the person he was forced to be. Whither he lives or dies, he’s not Silver any more. He’s Matthew. He moves on, both resurrected and reborn in life or in death. It’s always hard to have the courage to go counter to what many readers (including myself) would like to see, but I always respect a writer who chooses to make the tough decisions that might garner scorn instead of praise. You could have taken the easy path; choosing the difficult one was courageous. I just hope that the wait for 17 isn’t too long… now our hearts are heavy, our souls pierced and the tears we shed tinged with blood. Like River we await Matthew’s fate… undeserved, unwarranted and unfair; a testament to all those who have suffered the cruel dehumanization of slavery… and there have been millions in the history of the world. May I say that while Faith may be a personification of evil, he’s been conditioned as much as all the slaves in the Master’s stable. Another pawn, abet an evil one, in the Master’s twisted game. It is the Master I hope suffers the fate he truly deserves. That may not happen in the story, but a person who orchestrates such things to other human beings needs a berth in the lowest pit of hell… the same place that Dante reserved for the person he thought the worst sinner of all – Judas Iscariot; placed head-first inside Lucifer's central mouth, with his back skinned by the devil's claws. I’d like to see the Master in that position for all eternity. Author's Response: Now that was very strange. I wrote a long response to your review and then the whole review disappeared. I had to go out of the site and then come back in and there it was again minus response. Very strange. I can only assume that there was something in the response that wasn't meant to be seen. Therefore I shall not repeat it other than to point out... and to hope that others will ponder... that yes, Faith is in many ways a victim of the same conditioning Silver experienced BUT... look at what he did with it. Silver isn't holding a gun to anyone's head. Well... actually... he isnt holdng anyting right now... not even his own blood... but still you get the message Yes. I am evil. I keep telling you all that :) As for being brave... well I have this coffin that is buried in a very safe place so if people come looking for me... :P Oh and by the way. I should be shooting fireworks and popping champagne at this point but will just say thank you very much for being the 100th review in the first story I have ever had to get to 100 reviews. Thanks :) Date: 04/23/2010 01:59 PM Title: Chapter 16 - Something Comes Reviewer: NightOwl A very nice chapter Nephy. I figured after reading the last chapter that Silver's conditioning would come back in a amjor way, though I always figured it would be brought in from the Master. best Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: Well... it could have been but you will see later on that it needed to be this way. river is going to be in a bit of a mess for a while and let's just say we haven't seen the last of Faith. Glad you survived the chapter. Date: 04/23/2010 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: David McLeod Nephylim begins the chapter with a simple statement, “He has … paint on his nose.” Having set a somewhat prosaic scene, she hints at the internal drama with, “I have no interest [in] what he paints, I am too fascinated by watching him do it.” She shows Silver’s strength—when he is painting; a contrast to his inner turmoil. The dream and its aftermath would wring tears from a stone. Just when we think there’s a possibility of some light, we’re hit with, “I…don’t think there is a ‘me’ anymore.” Oh, and don’t overlook River’s offer to take Silver “someplace safer.” What might that portend? An incredibly rich chapter in an incredibly complex story. Author's Response: Ah hun... your reviews are so complex, so detailed and so kind. I am really glad you like the story and I am grateful for the review. Date: 04/23/2010 07:10 AM Title: Chapter 15 - Feeling Yourself Again Reviewer: Wyndham Nephy. Why do you do this to us? Some of your stories are so 'uncomfortable' to read. The problem is that they are also so good that they demand reading.... Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. This story was alwasy... uncomfortable. The issues involved have always been horrific. It's just that they have been contained inside Silver's mind... now they're out. You might want to skip the next chapter or go to the end. It's by far the worst in the story but still, I think absolutely essential to he development of the story. You may need your hankerchief for the ending though :) Date: 04/22/2010 07:58 AM Title: Chapter 15 - Feeling Yourself Again Reviewer: NightOwl I swear, people say my TITLES are misleading, that need to read your chapter intro's "Silver looses something" that was so very wrong, so very clever and so very COOL. I enjoyed the chapter, and oddly enough I am looking forward to the next one, despite knowing that the next one is gonna get worse lol. Best Wishes. NightOwl Author's Response: He did lose something... he lost his hair :P Thanks for reading and commenting, your comments always make me smile. I'm glad you liked thich chapter, it is so very important to the story. Although it is a complete change of direction and in some pleaces mainly chapter 16 will be hard to read this is necessary for you to understand exactly what Silver has been through. It's needed to properly understand his problems and... hmm... other things :) Date: 04/21/2010 10:40 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Feeling Yourself Again Reviewer: Riley Jericho Really liked the change of pace of the last couple of chapters Neph. Read in one of your review replies that you were worried about 15...don't be! Liked the way you introduced another character but didn't let it get away with you and still kept focus on River and Silver. I fear though, that someone might not make it.... Riley Author's Response: I am more worried about 16 to be honest :P Things heat up and I don't think that it spoils anything if I tell you that someone is definitely not going to make it. But I am not going to tell you who :) The three chapters 14 15 and 16 are not easy ones to read but I think they are important to understad why Silver is as he is and why he reacts as he does to things that happen later in the story and in the sequel. I am making no apologies for them but I accept that they are likely to be controvertial. Thank you for sticking with the story and your kind comments about the pace and focus. Awesome :) Date: 04/21/2010 04:10 PM Title: Chapter 15 - Feeling Yourself Again Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer holy shit.... WOW :o Well done nephy! You have surprised me to hell and high water :o Author's Response: YAY. Glad you like it. I have to admit that there are three chapters in the story that worried me. I am fully expecting to be lynched. This is one of them :P Thanks for the review hun Date: 04/21/2010 02:19 PM Title: Chapter 14 - Past Present Reviewer: falling into the story I may not be able to read the next chapter. The story is very well written, but I don't feel that I need to read graphically described details of torture in order to understand that it is morally wrong and harmful. The writing to date has already succeeded in conveying a sense of terror and horror around pedophilic violence. I'll check back when chapter 16 is posted. Regards, Falling into the story. Author's Response: There will be some torture but the next scene is really more about River and Silver. It is called Feeling yourself again and although there is some violence it is more than balanced by tenderness and discovery. It's Chapter Sixteen that is the killer. Thanks for reading I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing Date: 04/20/2010 11:38 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Wyndham Like the paintings Nephy. I see you have added a few since I last looked. Author's Response: Thanks. I seem to have started painting my characters. I'm not entirely sure why. But why question eh? I am enjoying it loads. Thanks for all your support *hugs* Date: 04/19/2010 11:45 AM Title: Chapter 14 - Past Present Reviewer: Clovis Oh dear, and I thought De Sade was bad.... Nephylim!!! Does this happen? Author's Response: Date: 04/19/2010 04:54 AM Title: Chapter 14 - Past Present Reviewer: NightOwl A very good chapter Nephylim, I admit i had some trouble finishing it...once they were the car certain emotions made it difficult for me to continue. Very good work none the less, the glimpse into Silver's past, while...unsettling...was a very good touch. Best Wishes NightOwl Author's Response: You might want to skip the next chapter then. Thanks for reading and reviewing as always. it's a pleasure to hear from you Date: 04/18/2010 08:38 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Cia This chapter begins with a bit of humor, I love the analogy between the soul and the swordblade that was quite poetic. The endig... that is just chilling, poor Silver, all his fears about the car and the men coming right after his dream, almost prophetic. Great chapter! Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. I can wax poetic when the moment requires :P It's only going to get worse as you full well know :P Evil strikes again ... and I love it. Date: 04/14/2010 02:31 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Clovis How dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should have stopped there and let them live happily ever after. I don't kbnow if I can go on reading.... after that kiss, and.... Oh, Nephy, you are cruel!!! Author's Response: Tee hee. But if I had done that then I wouldn't have been me :) Besides Silver isn't up to a relationship yet. He's may be out of his head (so to speak) but he still has all that conditioning firmly in place. That needs to be confronted and dealt with one way or another. Hold on to your hats guys the roller coaster is about to begin :P Date: 04/14/2010 01:34 AM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Nanmander I always look forward to reading Enigma. And I'm so excited--I picked up on the fact that Silver planned everything out! Do I get a prize? :P Great kiss scene, well written. I love how it focused more on the spiritual and emotional more than the physical...makes it so much more special! Author's Response: Thank you. It's always exciting for me when someone tells me they are enjoying one of my stories. Hmm... a prize.... how about some hugs *hugs for Nanmander* and a *HUGE SMILE* :) I like to explore emotions and feelings even when there is a lot of action going on. :P Date: 04/12/2010 08:04 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Riley Jericho Hi Neph - Just looking back over the last couple of chapters. I was great to see the strides forward that Silver was making, and the development of his character. The subtle changes in the balance between Silver and River is intruiging as we see River getting out of his depth and Silver beginning to voice what his heart is telling him. Then came the kiss. That irrevocable moment in River's (and SIlver's) world that marked the transition. It was beautifully done...well done. There was something that almost reminded me of Against The Machine - that point where a small moment is actually a gigantic step. The moment where the ring makes the first connection to a person, marking a point that is irreversible and changes everything in there world from then on. That kiss changed everything! Part way throught the chapter I thought to myself - I know what she's going to do! Whilst there out in public, if not this time, then the next, Silver is going to recognise somebody. Somebody bad from his previous aweful world who's going to send him into a huge spin. But even that didn't prepare me for what you actually pulled at the end! Brilliiant!! Riley Author's Response: Hehe. One of these days people are going to start believing me when I tell them I'm evil. You think I'm so sweet but that's just a cover :P Thank you for your great comment. I can totally see the comparison you made with Against the Machine, which remains absolutely my favourite story I have ever read on here. I adored writing the kiss scene. I don't know if anyone realised but Silver planned that kiss from the moment he saw River's reaction to the painting. He knew from then what he had suspecte before... what River really felt for him. He was scared stiff about going outside.. but he did it just to get River out of the house. Then when they were in the art shop he realised that there was no way anything was going to happen there so... even though he really really wanted to go back to the house he asked river to take him to the sea... and once they were alone it was inevitable. Hehe. You are SO going to hate me by the end of this story... but it's your own fault... you should beleive in my evilness. Believe.... Believe.... Date: 04/12/2010 12:26 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: iguanacoosbay OOOOH, What a nasty place to stop!!! I hope the next chapter comes soon!! Author's Response: I keep telling people that I am a nasy evil person but for some reason no one believes me :) Still it's just as well because then my evilness creeps up on them all unexpected :P Thanks for the comment. You are going to have to wait a few days but if it's any help.... it's well worth waiting for. Date: 04/11/2010 06:14 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: SkyLights "I regret the words as soon as they are out of my mouth... but only for that short moment while he looks at me, wide eyed and then, when he smiles, all the regret seems to just disappear. All I can think of are those glittering silver eyes and the wide, sensuous smile. When he reaches out his hand I take it and stand as if I am in a daze. Somewhere inside something is screaming at me to stop. That this is wrong, so wrong but there is nothing I can do about it. I am caught in the grip of something that is far more powerful than I am." Beautiful. No other words. That entire sequence after that to the end of the chapter was perfect in wording, tone, and the feelings evoked. As a side note, I rather felt that silver rushed in telling his story so that they could get to the point at the end, but you get your artistic licence no matter how miraculous that event is! Looking forward to more. I think i'm in love with Silver *sigh* Author's Response: Awww... thank you. Don't forget that Silver planned this. I don't know if it came across as it should have but Silver was terrified of going outside but from the moment that River almost weakened when he saw the painting he was planning to get him to weaken all the way. His request to the dotor about going out, his suggestion about the sea... he wanted to get River in a romantic place alone... and then at least in his mind there was only one possible result. And don't forget either that, although it was a long time ago... mentally...Silver was a master at the art of seduction. River never had a chance. And now, after only one brief kiss..... it all goes to hell. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's always welcome Date: 04/11/2010 01:03 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Gaytron oh gosh... didn't see that coming. well now they can be emotionally scared together. you better not kill one off Author's Response: Well I might kill both of them off. With me you never know :P Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 04/11/2010 12:53 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: NightOwl Great chapter Nephy, the cliff top scene was classic, i loved it. The cliff while it kills me, was great, I'm already looking forward to the next chapter, as usual. I do hope nothing irreperable happens to the boys. BEst Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: Date: 04/11/2010 12:41 PM Title: Chapter 13 - Ghosts from the Past Reviewer: Jamie de Valen This is sooooo my kind of story. Excellent chapter. The tension that built then broke with the kiss... perffect. Just when things look promising everything starts to fall apart... but that's what makes for a great story. I can't wait to see how this all works out. I know it's not supposed to be professional and proper, but I loved that River and Silver kissed... that needed to happen. And in light of what's now happened they need to know that they have each other's love. Looks to get nasty... but you better not hurt those sweet boys or I'll come gun'in for ya!!! Author's Response: Ummm... I think I'll start running now. I did warn you quite early on that you were going to be gunning for me by the end and now it looks as if it is going to be coming true literally :) Don't forget that it is in suffering that character grows. Blah Blah :) Date: 04/11/2010 12:08 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: SkyLights Fabulous. It's riveting. I read it all in one go. I have a bit of an issue with all the ellipses you use but that's only a tiny winy minor thing that is probably my problem alone. (I've always had it) Can't wait for more! Author's Response: Oh well... If there is only one tiny winy problem... I suppose I shouldn't worry too much and yet... No... no it's fine... no worries :) Thanks for reading the story, and even more for the review. I'm glad you're liking it. There's a whole lot more on it's way. I'm just waiting for the soft brown stuff to his the swirly breezy thing :) Date: 04/09/2010 04:15 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: Gaytron They are so gonna do it... The next question is who's the pitcher and who's the catcher. Author's Response: The next question when reading my stories is usually... uh oh things are going well what's going to happen to one or both of them :P Thanks for your comments. I am loving them Date: 04/09/2010 01:03 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: Gaytron Aww very nice chapter. The house won't be the same with out good ol Julia. Author's Response: I like Julia. She adds some relief to the drama I think. She's gonna do fine. Thank you for your comments and for sticking with the story. More soon Date: 04/09/2010 12:46 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: NightOwl An amazing chapter Nephylim. I love the role reversal between Silver and River, though I wonder what happened up in Silvers room to make him so..disgruntled sounding but the Dr so happy. BEst Wishes, NightOwl. Date: 04/08/2010 10:31 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: Clovis Poor River!!! In love and professionally unable to express it.... He will have to let go of the case and become Silver's lover... that's the solution, but I bet you've got other plans! Is your second name Taltalus? Date: 04/08/2010 09:48 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: Cia Silver is asserting himself! River is the one feeling awkward and unsure, that's a shift! I love the vivid descriptions of the paintings! Great job Nephy! Date: 04/08/2010 06:49 PM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: Gaytron Rip nikki and david Author's Response: Yep. You will find, if you read any of my other stories that people do tend to die, sometimes more than once :) Thanks again for your reviews. Date: 04/08/2010 02:55 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: Gaytron intense poor nikki Author's Response: Still with us. Yay. Yes that was a pretty intense chapter and Nikki was a lost soul. He never fitted back into a world he was no longer part of. His memory is cherished though... and his life and death will achieve a lot with River and Silver. :) Thank you for your reviews. I cherish every one :) Date: 04/08/2010 02:04 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: Gaytron Can't wait to read the confession... Author's Response: Oh wow. You're sticking with me hun :) Glad you are still reading so I hope that you're still enjoying. Date: 04/08/2010 01:46 PM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: Gaytron IM CURIOUS TO SEE WHERE THIS IS ALL GOING. Author's Response: Well... it may not be going anywhere. It may just be going. Nah... it's going somewhere... may not be where you expect though... and yes, there is sex in it but you have to wait :P Thanks for another review *hugs* Date: 04/08/2010 01:23 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Gaytron i like the name silver. I don't think its weird at all. I have never read a story quite like this one. Author's Response: I hope that's a compliment :P Honey... I don't think you've read any story quite like mine before. They are all very different :) I am unique (teehee) I hope you like the rest of the story. It gets even more different :) Thanks for reading and commenting *hugs* Date: 04/08/2010 12:49 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Making Friends Reviewer: Wyndham Wonderful :) Perhaps you could include some of your own paintings into the story Nephy? Author's Response: Thank you. Your comments are always appreciated. I have actually painted Silver and am planning on attempting River when I get the canvasses I have ordered. If you want to see what 'my' Silver looks like he's in the Gallery sitting in a chair of his favourite colour :) Date: 04/08/2010 12:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Gaytron i like the mystery. River seems angry at the world... Even though his perspective is bright. Author's Response: Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I suppose River is kind of angry with the world but that changes, trust me :P Date: 04/08/2010 12:12 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: Riley Jericho What was it you said to me - that in your experience, parties never usually ended well? Nice chapter Neph...the song idea was brilliant. Riley Author's Response: I did say.... usually :) Thanks Riley. I really appreciate your comments :) Date: 04/06/2010 01:37 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: Clovis You suggest that personal affection, listening and real interest in patients is far better that the psychiatrist's bag of chemicals, and drugs. and I agree 100%. Chemicals have destroyed psychiatry. Well done. lovely chapter. Author's Response: Me too. Thanks for reading and commenting on my favourite story so far You always boost me :) Date: 04/06/2010 06:31 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: iguanacoosbay My heart is pounding, and my hands are shaking. I don't think I want to read the next chapter(10) for a while. How do you know these things??? Author's Response: I don't know. They come from somewhere :) The next chapter is...intense. If you got wound up in the last one the next one will be heavy. Maybe you want to skip to Chapter 11 which is much lighter :) Thanks for reading and reviewing even though it seems that it is hard for you. *hugs* Date: 04/05/2010 08:10 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: Cia What a wonderful chapter. I can see why River would be so uncomfortable but glad he stood his ground with Ronya and Kevin. Sometimes we all just need someone to hold us! The party scene was excellent, I could just picture Silver standing there all gorgeous with his eyes closed and this beautiful melody weaving it's way through the room. Lovely! Author's Response: Date: 04/05/2010 05:13 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: iguanacoosbay When Silver disappears, I know where He goes....I've been there, where it's safe and no one can get you.... Author's Response: I'm sure I'm not giving anything away, at least to anyone who knows my writing, when I say that there are times, many times before the end of the story when he wishes he had stayed there :) Date: 04/05/2010 02:22 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: nimmz Nephylim... you never disappoint.beautiful story-the effortless way in which you weave the hurt and innocence in Silver makes it hard to not love him and want him whole again. eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Author's Response: Thank you. That was a very nice thing to say. I hope I don't disappoint with the rest of the story :) Date: 04/05/2010 02:24 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: sendraguy A lovely read, nicely balanced. I wish all care facilities had a River! Author's Response: Hehe... yeah... they should be compulsory. On the other hand... how many care facilities ever have a Silver. Thanks for reading and even more for your review :) Date: 04/05/2010 02:16 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: NightOwl A great chapter Nephy, pure and simple. Silver really is making such amazing progress. I sympathize with River toward Kevin, giving someone like Silver VODKA, now that I think would be unprofessional. Best Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: But it's sooooo Kevin :) Kevin is a jerk but he means well (usually) I liked writing the party scene. It was a bit of lightness after so much heaviness and before so much more :P Thanks as always for your review Date: 04/04/2010 07:26 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Taking Strides Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Wow :) Well done nephy, this story is coming on leaps and bounds. Thanks for the easter present :D Author's Response: You're welcome hun. Youre right... we are leaping and bounding towards... something :) Date: 04/04/2010 01:36 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: David McLeod Consider this line: "He nods, looking very serious and a little... blurred around the edges." What a fascinating description! For the reader, it encapsulates both Silver and River's perception of him. For an author, it evokes a "wish I'd thought of that" response. Mrs. Partridge is an interesting foil, and is written just on the right edge of being a stereotype. The doctor's Germanic precision and long-winded preoccupation with details provides a nice contrast to Ronya's breezy but direct manner. Author's Response: You continue to give me such honour which I really don't think I deserve. I like Mrs Partridge... she's a neighbour of mine. She always knows when I've been away because I haven't put the rubbish out :P Date: 04/04/2010 07:52 AM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: David McLeod Lured by innocent sensuousness and then dragged down to the darkest and most depraved evil. That's just what happened to me, and is a pale shadow of what happened to Nikki and, by extension, to Silver. Author's Response: Date: 04/03/2010 10:37 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: David McLeod "...I really have to concentrate on being professional right now." Conflict is the essence of drama. The conflict Nephylim has created with these few words tugs at the heart and soul of readers, and warns us that there are greater depths to plumb before we see the sun. The warning is then hammered in by Karen's injunction, and reinforced by the doctor. Julia's welcome reminds us that no matter how far Silver has come, there's still a infinitely long road ahead, for both Silver and River. It's so easy to understand how Nephylim has fallen in love with these characters...and she must love them to have made them so real. Author's Response: Date: 04/03/2010 10:27 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: David McLeod "There is something about that gesture, simple as it is, that touches me. It is completely natural, unconscious, spontaneous... all the things that Silver usually isn’t." What stunning complexity is captured in, and then blooms from these two perfectly crafted sentences. Author's Response: Thank you. You know how much your reviews mean to me. I really fell in love with this story and the characters in it. It is fabulous that others are appreciating it and them too. After all...this is their story and not mine. Date: 04/02/2010 05:37 AM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: NightOwl A wonderful chapter Nephylim, the look into Silver's history was indeed a pivitol part of the story. It was simply wonderful. Author's Response: Thank you. I'm really glad you liked it. I hope you aren't going to hate me down the line :) Date: 04/01/2010 06:03 PM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: Cia Yay! Hooray for Silver. He is simply amazing! The story of his life is so sad but he is continuing to rise and overcome, it's amazing. Great chapter Nephy, very real and emotional. Sucks you right in! Author's Response: I liked this chapter a lot mysef. Silver IS amazing and he continues to be amazing. I just so love them both. And I love you for reading again and reviewing. Date: 04/01/2010 03:53 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: Cia This chapter gave me shivers. The changes in Silver are coming fast and furious. I'm impressed with River's conviction and strength in this situation. Author's Response: Silver has a long way to go and River is with him all the way. It's a heck of a journey and they're together on the road. It's a rocky road all the way but every step is a step forward. Thanks for keeping reading and reviewing hun Date: 04/01/2010 03:23 PM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: Wyndham I wonder if things like this happen in real life. I am inclined to belive they do and can't imagine how people can do such terrible things to other human beings. How do you come up with these dark stories Nephy? I'm sure that it can't be easy getting into a story like this when you are writing it...... Author's Response: For me it is. I am absolutely there with them. I know that dark things can happen... some of them have happened to me. But I'm like Silver. I don't let them touch me... experience and move on. I'm the same with good things I suppose. An emotional butterfly :) The story just seems to write itself and I go along for a ride. I know that these kind of things happen in real life. Unfortunately they happen far too often. But hey... that's life... aren't people just wonderful :P Date: 04/01/2010 12:00 PM Title: Chapter 10 - A Journey into the Past Reviewer: Jamie de Valen I've waited and waited for this posting... I'm on holiday so I read it immediately when I saw it... and now... and now... I'm speechless. A big hug. Author's Response: WOW. Thank you. I'm glad you are still liking it. And thanks for the hug... can never have too many hugs :) Date: 04/01/2010 07:34 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: Clovis Scary, sensual, and above all, decent. Decency permeates all your writing. no matter the evil, there is always decency. I hope River remains strong and no bad stuff happens -- I couldnt cope with that. Author's Response: That's awesome hun... what a nice thing to say. As for bad stuff happening... Ummmmm........... :) Date: 04/01/2010 01:23 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: Riley Jericho Now I'm worried. Firsty, thank God River managed to stop him in time before something disasterous happened between them. Secondly, I hope to God River knows what he's doing as he's about to embark in some kind of counselling with Silver. Get that wrong and it might all go horribly pear-shaped. And thirdly, I keep having to remind myself that it's only a story......I'm becoming a hopeless River/Silver addict! Can't somebody help me?? Riley Author's Response: Awww hun that's an awesome thing to say. I have to say though, and I know it will come as no surprise to anyone who knows my story... if only a little counselling and looming mental breakdown were the only things Silver and River have to worry about... :) Horribly pear shaped... hmmm... sounds like me :P Can't argue with the last part. I have to admit that I fell in love with Silver after the first chapter and even more so as the story progressed and River really grew on me. Does it help if I say there's a happy... ish ending? :P Date: 03/30/2010 02:52 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Josh Ua I really look forward to seeing more of this story its both touching and interesting from a psychological pov. thanks for whats already come out and thanks for what you will write in the future Author's Response: Awww... thanks hun. I write for the pleasure of knowing that people read and enjoy. Thank you so much for letting me know you like it. I will be posting regularly as the story is already written and just waiting to be cascaded out. Date: 03/29/2010 03:17 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: sendraguy Love it, love it love it! Read the nine chapters straight through, and, after a coffee, gonna settle down and read them again - slower! Attention to detail and authenticity are lovely touches, and I doubt there's any one of us who doesn't relate to at least some aspects of these characters. I'm new to this site; can't believe what I've been missing. Great work, thanks so much. Author's Response: Aww... thanks you so much. That was an awesome review. I am so glad you liked it. Will be posting another chapter soon... and don't worry the story is already finsihed so there will be no languishing :) Thanks again. Date: 03/29/2010 03:52 AM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: Wyndham River is the one I actually feel sorry for. It must be so hard for him. Anyway - good writing as usual Nehy. Author's Response: Thank you. Yes, I think you are right. Although River is a trained professional all that has kind of gone out of the window. NOt only has it dragged up all his issues with Nikki but his feelings for Silver are crippling him. Silver is just drifting through life for the most part at the moment so I guess I agree with you :) Date: 03/28/2010 01:51 PM Title: Chapter 9 - Memories and Nightmares Reviewer: NightOwl OMG I hqve been waiting for that to happen. i knew he was going to regress back to that point sometime soon. I didn't think it would River though, I don't know why I just didn't. it was wonderful Nephy, as always. It was very tantilizing. I look forward to more. Best Wishes, NightOwl Author's Response: Thank you hun. I love exploring alternative mind sets. I hope I get it right. I just write what seems natural. Of course it was going to be River. It just complicates everthing even more. And it gets even more complicated yet, before it all gets painfully clear Date: 03/27/2010 07:50 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: Riley Jericho "It was a Labrador." It's the timing that makes your story so subtle Neph, and I really enjoy it knowing it's so carefully crafted. The thing is, I'm getting nervous. Silver is so damaged, it seems almost impossible within the timeline of the story at this point, that he could recover to any kind of normality. But I want them together - I want something to happen...and you know exactly what I mean. How? When? Don't leave me dangling (as it were!!). Riley Author's Response: What do you mean 'timeline'? You know my stories there's no such thing. Don't worry something is surely going to happen... but when and whether you are going to like it... well you'll just have to wait and see :P There are twenty four chapters so there's plenty of time. Things do start speeding up soon though so hold on to your hat. I'm glad you like the story and that you take time to review. Date: 03/24/2010 02:49 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Of course river knows what he's doing. It is well known that love, patience and understanding are the panacea for most mental ills. This is lovely. Author's Response: I think you are right. It's unfortunate that so few people 'in the system' get any of it. Thanks for the review. Really glad you are liking the story :) Date: 03/22/2010 08:23 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: NightOwl A very nice chapter Nephylim, very interesting. The little slivers of self that Silver keep exibiting are so very exciting. In answer to the question you posed at the end of the chapter, I think NO River has no idea what he is getting into. But he'll find out soon enough. Best wishes and great chapter. Nightowl Author's Response: Thanks for the comment and for enjoying the story. I like this chapter although it is not my favourite in this story. He he you're right. River has some real shocks coming up. Date: 03/22/2010 12:38 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Making Plans Reviewer: Cia Professional detachment is almost ordered out the window! Yikes! But look at the strides Silver makes, making a choice to go out with River, dredging up a memory... Great chapter, I just love this story! Author's Response: Thank you. I think that River knows that he is not and is never going to be strictly professional when it comes to Silver. The question is... can he keep any detachment at all... especially when Silver starts to become more and more attached too. Date: 03/22/2010 09:41 AM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: Cia This story is so sad, so heartbreaking, so painful just to read, much less to have been someone who experienced it. The person abused, family, friends... everyone is traumatized. Being around Nikki can only make working with Silver both much more difficult and at the same time simpler for River. But comparing the two, Silver has already made strides that Nikki was unable to, perhaps because of the way he was found beaten or perhaps other things. This is a hard chapter to read but so vital to the story, great job Nephy. Author's Response: Thank you. I am particularly proud of this chapter. It was quite hard to write, which is surprising for me. But as you say it is vital to the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing. As always it is a pleasure to read. Date: 03/22/2010 09:31 AM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: Riley Jericho Sometimes when you are haunted by ghosts the only thing you can do is hope that, in death, they can't cause as much pain as they did when alive.....well. that's what I think anyway! I think most of us, when we write, we drop something of ourselves into a phrase or an idea. Yet, you put this one into the end notes. Thanks for a great chapter. Riley Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. Any review is a thrill, a review from one of my favourite writers all the more so. Glad you liked this chapter. It was important. It was in some ways hard to write, in others a kind of exorcism. Nikki deserved more than he got but in suffering he has made someone else's suffering less. I am glad that my comment made you think. i understand what you say and sometimes that's true. But sometimes the ghosts that haunt us didn't hurt us, at lest not deliberately. On the other hand... sometimes we can't move on either. Sometimes when you are haunted by ghosts of the past you welcome them, yearn for them, ache for them. Smell their scent in the wind, feel their touch in the night, the touch of their hand when you're cooking... hm... maybe enough of that. I digress I think :) Date: 03/19/2010 03:18 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Memories Reviewer: NightOwl This is a truely beautiful and touching story Nephy, it pains me to think that I have taken so long to start reading. I look forward to future chapters....poor Nikki. Author's Response: Awww.... dont pain hun... just think... the longer you take to start reading the more there is to read when you start :) Nikki is something of a tragic character but in the end he's the reason that River connects so much with Silver and so his death is not in vain Date: 03/18/2010 09:02 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: Cia This is a great chapter. We are seeing more of Silver as he slowly decides to try and trust those around him. River is very emotional in this chapter even though he is trying so very hard to stay calm and detached. If you take care of anyone in a longer term care setting it can be very difficult to not get attached, much less in a situation like this. And perhaps getting attached is the best thing for all involved. Great chapter as always!! Author's Response: Thanks as always hun. Yes... but there's getting attached.... and then there's getting attached. :) River is very emotional and that is carried over into the next chapter so we can see why... but of course you already know that ;) Date: 03/15/2010 12:40 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: Rigby Taylor “Silver is a sweet boy. He’s a lost soul and it’s easy to get attached to someone like that, especially when they are getting better and you start to see the real person emerge from the fog. But never forget he’s here to be healed, to be taken care of and we are here to do that. We are not here to be his friend or... anything else. We have to keep detached. If you can’t do that you have to get off the case. You know that don’t you?” I realise this is considered correct proceedure, but i reckon river's approach is better. Love and kindness and genuine concern are much better than cold professionalism... people see through that easily. Getting interesting! Author's Response: Thanks as always for the review. I agree about genuine care and concern. I think the warning is being given here because people are beginning to see this is steering in a dangerous irection. Also as good as it is for people like Silver to be around somoene who genuinely cares is it really good for someone like River to get that closely involved. It's an interesting point. Can anyone give love, kindness and genuine concern in a situation like this and keep a professional distance? And if there isn't a professional distance is that good for the clients? Date: 03/15/2010 06:15 AM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer :o tell me more :o Author's Response: Patience my dear, patience :) There is sooooooo much more :) Date: 03/14/2010 02:30 PM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer awww :) i really like this story :) you are making me fall in love with Silver :) Author's Response: Good. He's worthy of many minions. He's awesome in the extreme, by far my favourite character so far :) Date: 03/14/2010 02:20 PM Title: Chapter 6 - Making Progress Reviewer: Jamie de Valen First and foremost THANK YOU for posting this chapter. One of the things that is making this a great story for me is the fact that you are taking time in telling it. The parts flow well and each leads nicely into the next. That Chapter 6 ends with us knowing that River will be telling his own story gives us the necessary background to connect with him more... it also creates a great set-up for when we return to Silver and we learn what he's been through. The connection of these two boys lives with these two parts IS masterful... brilliant! Your timing in relation to Silver and his progression (or sometimes lack of progression) is well done. It's in the details like that that some writers gloss over that holds back a nice work from being a good one and a good one from being a great one. It's takes time to do that kind of development... time that some writers don't want to take... but in doing so you're saying to me, the reader, that YOU care enough that we're reading your story, that you also care enough to do a careful job. There's no substitute for that kind of detail and quality. The supporting characters are also a nice compliment. Once more it's easy to just push them aside in relation to the 'mains' but in resisting that urge you add a depth of telling that can't be beaten. As always... great story... nice job. Author's Response: WOW thank you. It's always a surprise to me when someone leaves a comment and especially when it is one that is as thoughtful as this one. I don't know why I'm surprised that people like what I write but it still takes me by surprise when people say they do. Go figure. Anyway... that aside I really apprecaited your comment and you can be sure that I will take my time over this one. I loved writing it so much that i don't hurry anything. River and Silver will develop and they will grow closer... they will need to be :) Date: 03/14/2010 09:20 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: semaj565 If you're finished, then why post only a chapter or two a week? It's frustrating! :P Sorry, I'm just extremely bored right now and reading something good would help pass time :) Author's Response: What can I say? I'm a tease. If you pm me I'll send you the whole thing :) Date: 03/13/2010 12:38 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: semaj565 Hey Neph, This is your best story since To Have and To Hold! I've read all of your other stuff, but this is the best work in-progress story you have, so please focus on this story and write more! ;P Author's Response: It's written hun. Right to the last word. So don't worry there will be no breaks in posting this one. Thank you for reading and for your comments. I am so glad you like it. Date: 03/12/2010 02:40 PM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: Riley Jericho Sorry it took a while to review.......stuff happened! Effortlessly excellent, as usual Neph - teasing out the heart of Silver with tender skill. Riley Author's Response: Stuff always happens :) Never apologise for not reveiwing. None is expected, all are appreciated :) Glad your liking the story. Silver is awesome and gets better. The question is... is his heart the only thing River teases out ;) Date: 03/11/2010 04:28 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: Rigby Taylor Very sweet... drew a couple of tears of gladness... Author's Response: Aww... :) Thank you. You are sweet. I think there may be more tears before the end though so keep a tissue handy :) Date: 03/10/2010 04:06 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Hey nephy :D Brilliant chapter i like it :D I WANT SILVER ALREADY :P one slight typo : we’ll be around there kicking the door down, and kicking you arse if you don’t take your meds properly.” Well done! :D Author's Response: Aww... thanks hun. Glad you like it. Silver really is good enough to eat and he just gets better and better... well at least I think so. You are going to have to wait to find out. Date: 03/08/2010 02:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu A lovely, lovely story. I know it will get darker...your stories always do...but you've already set up the sun coming out in the end. This has a wonderfully romantic feel to it. Perhaps it is so attractive because I have seen some of this actually happen, though to a lesser degree (remember my story about the homeless shelter worker?). It is great to see him slowly take baby steps...and it is so real to see him get frightened and retreat, only to be tempted out again. I'm enjoying it a lot. Look forward to the rest. Author's Response: Date: 03/08/2010 08:11 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Shades of Blue Reviewer: Cia He did it!!! Silver made that leap!!! Yay! I love this chapter so much! River totally redeemed himself. And double yay's for the roses's being gone, I swear that I'D go nuts in a room like that! Author's Response: Yep... the roses had to go :) I really liked this chapter too. There is a lot of hope in it. I think that gets built on too... for a while :) River is just doing what everyone does... the best he can. He thinks he's a professional. He thinks he can handle whatever the job throws at him but he's never met anyone like Silver before... well not quite like Silver. He's muddling along, completely out of his depth and getting far too personally involved. Glad you like it. Thanks for the reviews. Date: 03/07/2010 02:06 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Cia Silver makes me feel so sad. It's only inevitable that River is going to make some mistakes but I love the fact that Julia is there to smooth the morning over. Great chapter! (sorry I missed when you posted) Author's Response: Everyone makes mistakes :P We are still only warming up. These are the setting up chapters before the real shit starts hitting the fan. I am glad that yuo are liking Silver. He is sad... but not completely Date: 03/07/2010 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: David McLeod Well of course things have to get worse before they get better! But they are getting worse in so sophisticated a manner that the reader will be drawn in before he or she even realizes it. Talk about frustration! When will the earlier promises be realized! Author's Response: There are many promised to be realized... some good some bad. Things do get worse before they get better, then worse then better again. As in life it's a slow creep forwards two steps forward one step back. But the story comes out piece by piece and when it does... well let's just say I hope you like fireworks :) Date: 03/05/2010 09:32 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: David McLeod Oh! I was so focused on Max's frustration as a metaphor for Silver's certain frustration as a metaphor for the frustration of the lonely, unattached person, especially one who happens to be gay, as a metaphor for "man's inhumanity to man" that Silver's revelation caught me completely by surprise. Super story arc! Author's Response: Coming from you that was just such an awesome review it took my breath away. I had no idea there was so much in there :) Thanks hun. Date: 03/05/2010 09:22 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Riley Jericho Crap - that was good! Sorry I got River and Silver mixed up last time...my bad! I wish I had your talent to (in a few paragraphs) get into the heart of a character. Riley J PS did I mention how good it was? Author's Response: Awww *blushes* thanks. You have plenty talent my dear. Plenty plenty. Which is why your reviews mean a lot. I hope you keep enjoying there are some interesting charcters to come :) And of course my particular brand of evilness. Date: 03/04/2010 03:05 PM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Wyndham So sweet and so sad at the same time. While it must be really hard for River trying to get through to him, I just can't imagine what Silver must have gone through to get to this state. Looking forward to what comes next :) Thanks Nephylim. Author's Response: You're very welcome. Thank you. :) In the next chapter River gets some clues. Silver's been through it bless him. He's strong and brave and kind of rebellious. Although River doesn't know that now he will find out. And as I fell more and more in love with Silver as I wrote him I hope that you will fall more and more in love with him as you read him. Date: 03/04/2010 10:06 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Don't be Scared Reviewer: Wyndham "pain the room" ????? Author's Response: Yeah I know... I don't edit the story notes :P:) Date: 03/04/2010 09:54 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Jamie de Valen I think you've really got something quite special in the character of Silver. There's lots of good characters out there, but sometimes one comes along that you just want to get to know. Silver falls into this category for me. (The kind of character I'd like to pull up a chair next to and ask 'tell me more') River fits well into this also. He certainly presents a contrast to Silver. The idea that he's a caregiver who simply first meets Silver because 'it's his job' plays well. Completely unexpected... and that's usually how things happen in life. The sense of mystery wrapped up in Silver is great both the psychological elements and the physical (lack of body hair in different places, scaring made by a deliberate way.) More reason to want to find out more. Non-traditional settings like a half/way house or care center the likes of which you've put S & R into is really a different touch and makes the story much more intriguing for me. It also gives you a lot of things to play with and other characters (both other caregivers and patients... maybe even others like psychologists etc to play with and that really adds a nice variety... so good job on that one. (think: One Flew over the...etc) Your descriptions are great as far as using what I call the 'off story items.' Attention to details is always a + for me. The rose room, the colors of things... the fact that Silver steams up the shower then brushes the steam away to look through at River and the description of R fixing S's hair are just the little extras that make the story multi-dimensional. You've crafted a story that makes me want to read more and craves to know more. Well done! I look forward to future chapters to discover your vision. Author's Response: Thank you. I realy apprecaite your detailed and thoughtful review. I like unusual settings because it makes things easier to write somehow. I am totally in love with Silver and as his personality emerges he just gets better and better I think. I don't think it is giving too much away to say that as the story would be pretty dull and unsatisfying if he didn't. I think it is no surprise to anyone to say that things about his past come to light too which explain a lot. When I write I 'see' what is happening in my head and I describe it. THe roses leaped out at me and I knew Silver wouldn't like them so it was important for everyone to know about that so it would make sense why they would paint the room. I am kind of weird like that I suppose. It is totally awesome that such a fab writer has good things to say about my work. I hope that you will continue to enjoy it. Date: 02/28/2010 09:34 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: Riley Jericho "... I think ‘nightmarish’ would be the word I would use. They are incredibly dark; twisted bodies, their faces showing incredible pain, lost souls trapped behind bars or locked into cages or cowering with theirs hands over their faces. So many drawings, so many images of pain in such a short time and they are all so... so..." Clearly River experienced something utterly horrific to make him as he is. You wonder whether anybody can ever recover from something like that? Difficult story, told well. Riley Author's Response: It was Silver, not River who did the drawings and ... well you'll have to wait and see whether he experienced aything and if so what... how, if at all River... or someone else helps him to recover. Thank you so much for your comment and for reviewing. I hope you enjoy the rest of my story... which are always... unextpected. *hugs* Date: 02/26/2010 12:51 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: Cia I love the little glimpses we get of Silver in this story, the person he is coming through, not just the body. I think River is fighting a losing battle not to become involved though. Can't wait for the next chapter!!! Love it, as always Nephy! Author's Response: I can say the same about your reviews hun :) I enjoyed getting to know Silver too as the story progressed. It was nice to write things that were light and fun but at the same time... not :) Glad you liked it :) Date: 02/26/2010 11:18 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: Rigby Taylor The I character is very sensitive, a thoroughly admirable and likeable person... I am hooked... and busy wondering how this is going to work out, where we're going... With you it is always a surprise. Author's Response: Oh yes... plenty of surprises. Drama too later on... unexpected twists etc. This is me been lighter though :) Date: 02/26/2010 12:54 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Rigby Taylor ""...I don’t know why but that makes me smile... somehow something that mars that perfection, even to such a slight degree is a huge relief. How very true... perfection is impossible to live with. A most intriguing tale... Author's Response: I wouldn't know. Maybe I can get to try it one day :) Thank you so much for your reviews. I am loving every one :) Date: 02/26/2010 12:38 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Rigby Taylor is your middle name tantalus??? how can you do this to me. What an extraordinary expense these establishments are. I cant help thinkig that, were I in the same situation silver was when found, I'd prefer to be left to die. Author's Response: Date: 02/26/2010 12:25 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: Wyndham Lovely, lovely, lovely. What more is there to say? :) Author's Response: Awww... thanks hun. Well... I had to prove that I CAN write light when I want to. More fun next time... but there's darkness in there too... it's just muted :) Glad you are liking it. *hugs* Date: 02/25/2010 02:48 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Discoveries Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Wow. I'm really intrigued now :) you really have your way with wording :) Author's Response: Thank you. It's meant to be intriguing. River gets to know Silver slowly and everything he finds out is worrying. I'm happy you like the story so far :) Date: 02/25/2010 12:38 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer Nephy :P i no longer like you :P This was another really good chapter :D i look forward to the next :D I cannot wait to see more of Silver :D Author's Response: You don't like me? :( Why not? You drive a knife into my heart... look I'm bleeding. Glad you like the story though and don't worry we'll be seeing a LOT more of Silver. Date: 02/21/2010 10:50 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Please hurry with the next chapter. I have a feeling this one is going to rend my heart!! Author's Response: Not rend so much as gently tug I think. This is ...mostly... gentler than some of my others. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Date: 02/20/2010 07:05 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Riley Jericho That was a surprise! Riley Author's Response: Hehe. I hope it was an enjoyable surprise :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. It was a nice surprise :) Date: 02/20/2010 03:19 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Cia All the scene bits with the hair in them, ooh, I just shiver. Your descriptions of Silver are so poetic, his 'sooty black lashes on his milk white cheeks' are just as vivid and lovely as the descriptions of his 'strange empty eyes' is creepy. I LOVE Julia, her character is simply lovely and entertaining. She's a great bit of joy and lightness injected into the storyline. Wonderful, as always Nephy! Author's Response: I always like to have one character who holds a light up to the rest... like Jaden in Death is Not and Option. Julia is a grown woman but her illness and character give her a childlike quality that, in some ways is echoed in Silver. Just wait until the three of them get to painting the room. I sooo enjoyed writing that chapter :) Date: 02/20/2010 02:38 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Surprises Reviewer: Wyndham Thank you Nephy. I am blown away by this lovely story. I look forward to next week.... I've been reading it with Rolando Villazon, the Mexican tenor, singing in the background. Author's Response: That sounds lovely. I have never really thought about the soundtrack to my stories. Yeah... this one would definitely be classical I think although there will definitely be some orchestrated dramatic pieces later on and some slushy romantic stuff.. especially at the end. :) Date: 02/20/2010 01:58 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Wyndham Short review from my iPhone.... Absolutely wonderful! Please don't make us wait for the next chapter :) Thanks Nephy Author's Response: Thanks hun... okay then... just for you I'll post the next one right away becaue I think it's a sweet one :) Date: 02/20/2010 05:37 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: taina1959 What are you to do? You do what you are good at... You write and with your writing you give your readers dreams, dreams that some day we'll (they'll) find the person that is out there, waiting for them to introduce themselves... without all the drama but of course :P Your readers also get the satisfaction of enjoying something from one of the greatest 'minds' that GA has to offer and darling... that is... YOU! Author's Response: Yeah OK... you have me blushing now.... I think it YOU who have delved into the realms of fantasy but hey... never let a compliment go unchallenged... that's me. Thanks hun. Date: 02/18/2010 01:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: Cia This first chapter had me intrigued as I read it. Not to mention I simply wanted to smack every single person who kept making the comments about how 'interesting' Silver was...that part came out sooo well! Loooove it! Author's Response: Hehe... yeah that was exactly what I was trying to convey. Work colleagues can so be like that sometimes... smug little bastards when they know something you don't :) Thanks for the review honey. It was your awesome beta reading that got this up off the ground and then with Rush liking it in the editing what could I do... I had to post :) Thanks for all your support it is sooo appreciated. Date: 02/18/2010 01:12 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: taina1959 I absolutely ADORE these two guys! They became so real in my mind the moment I started reading. River is such a sweetheart with a huge heart and Silver? Who or What is Silver? (Don't wanna give out clues yet) :P Fantastic girlfriend! You have such a tremendous gift for story telling, I can never get tired of telling you so. BRAVA!!!! Author's Response: Awwww... It's my awesome spporters who keep me going hun. Wihout you I would still write but why would I post? Sometimes I do feel like crawling back into my hole but you drag me straight back out so what am I to do? Date: 02/18/2010 01:03 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Enigma Reviewer: johnathan_colourfield_writer :o :o :o Damn you nephy! That was brilliant! Some really comic touches and you really do introduce Silver with such an amazing air of mystery :D Well done and i look forward to the next chapter :) Author's Response: Awww thanks hun. Trust me... the air of mystery remains. All is not what it seems with Silver and he is an Enigma from the beginning to the end. I am glad you liked the story. I think if you liked Dangerous Liaisons you will like this one too... there is that same sense of innocence and although there is danger and trauma it's not really integral to the story like it has been before and is only brief... ish. This is one of my safer ones :) Date: 02/18/2010 12:08 PM

Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Inuberry I cried....so much. But now I'm extremely happy; I really expected Chris to die in the end. Honestly. And, the writing was beautiful, gorgeous. I felt like I experienced their every emotion. This was so magnificent; I actually signed into my account to leave a comment (which I've been putting off for even the BEST of stories for months....). Thank you immensely. Author's Response: Oh hun that was so lovely of you. I am really glad you liked this story, I am very fond of Chris and Luke myself. Hugs Date: 09/07/2010 04:37 PM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Clovis Most interesting bit of technology, I learned all sorts of things and, as always a long nervous wait and lovely tear-jerker... and a true Nephy happy ending. Author's Response: Thank you hun, it's lovely to hear from you again. I think I am going to have to start thinking about my endings again. I wouldn't want people to start expecting a happy ending now would I? Date: 08/26/2010 02:32 AM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Louis I'm still crying. This is the first story with huge amounts of emotion written beautifully. Just as I thought it would be safe to read on without crying, wham! The tears flooded through. WOW! Okay, I hate Chris because he's a morning person and I'm not (lol) just a joke. Your plot is character driven, it has all the nuances of great story telling. The dialogue is just awesome, and you are able to pull the reader into CVhris asnd Luke's world without being forceful. There are so many good things to say about this story so let me begin somewhere: 1. You begin the story in the middle of a crisis and work from there. 2. Your hook is simple - a major fastal illness that cannot be overcome by love alone. 3. The intensity of the love they have for each other is felt in every line so the reader is catapulted into emotion. 4. Plot is all about conflict and you have admirably written several into the tale; their love for each other, the fact that Chris wants Luke to have a better life after he has passed on, and Chris' struggle with his illness, and Luke's struggle with copming to terms with his illness. 5. I'm still crying OMG. You based your plot on two important parralels; action and reaction. 6. The plot is built on ebents that will have important, life changing consequences for both characters, including their families. 7. Because it is a grief and loss plot, your tale is character driven. But there is also another plot in here; PERSECUTION - where it's all about what happens to characters. It involves people that are determined to live out a particular destiny and the plot involves now others change their destiny (the operation). Their is also a crossover of another kind of plot SURVIVAL, where characters must survive a situation and develops to a point where they experience deliverance. 8. You successfully stayed away from gilded prose in your descriptions of the characters and stuck to simplicity. I could see the characters clearly, and by doing this, it added to me being moved. This may have been done deliberately to move the reader where he wants to be moved - straight into an emotional experience. 9. I could not find a single word that didn't belong - altho there are some gremlins, dare I mention, without destroying this fantastic story. 10. Luke and Chris are larger than life, I mean, nobody wants to read about characters who are just anybody. They want to read about interesting somebody's, characters capable of evoking in the reader some measure of emotional response, right? Thedy are flawed and vulnerable. Readers demand that characters be more handsome, more forgiving, more brave and so on, than real people. Characters should have hotter passions, love more and change more. larger than life characters have more of everything and you achieved that beautifully. Most importantly, Luke and Chris are memorable. 11. Your use of dialoge was used to show conflict, to advance the story and show character. I took the dialogue seriously. It's the lifeblood of this stiory. It is written moment by moment and follows the stimulus and response rule. You ably managed to include internal thoughts of both viewpoint characters to create a wonderful flow of conflict. 12. Your plot innvolved everything a story should have: Goal, conflict, disaster, emotion, quandary, decision and action. 13.I loved it when you made things worse it just proves the point that nothing happens in isolation - something always happens next. 14. There was nothing I could find that was contrived in this tale. 15. Your tale is not padded to increase its size. Luke's challenge is that he will have to learn to live alone, learn to trust, love and learn to live again without Chris - this was his own conflict and needed to be written in. I loved the way you did that and to me that is not padding. 16. You kept your sentences short, sharp and clean. You fragmentalised. You didn't use too many adverbs not that I can recall and actually i couldn't spot one. You used nounsd and verbs to keeop the flow - wonderful. 17.Back to the beginning; You applied heat from the very first line, and you got me oriented very fast. Above all, your ending complemented the beginning of the story. You made good on your promise not only to entertain, but to bring out the emotions of the reader. The ending brought relief because I cared for Luke and Chris. I've stopped crying now: I guess I needed that outpouring of emotions. All that's left to say is, try and find a publisher that will take this on - a mag or something. It is simply, a work of art. Thank you. Author's Response: Heck that was one awesome review. I'm a bit scared of you reading any more of my work now... Only joking. I am so swept away by that fantastic supportive encouraging review I really don't know what to say I am so so glad you like this story. I don't really do short stories but I really enjoyed writing this one. thank you Date: 08/23/2010 11:12 AM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: DarkDaisuke Awwww I cried ;-; It was wonderul! I mean that; by far your best story, at least to me. Bravo! *Applauds* Author's Response: WOW.... thank you SO much You've made my Monday, what a start to the week It was fun to write and told itself so I suppose I shouldn't take all the credit, it was really down to the muse Thank you for the review. Date: 08/16/2010 12:01 AM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Nanmander Wow, this was good. Obviously you have just as a good a grasp on science fiction as you do on adventure, intrigue, and romance. Well done you. Author's Response: Date: 08/15/2010 10:56 PM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Quonus10 Wow, that was pretty amazing! I really enjoyed reading it. Andy Author's Response: Thanks hun. It was fun to write, although I suppose I have a pretty strange idea of fun. I am really glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for reviewing. Date: 08/15/2010 09:26 PM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! omg. You kept my mind switching back and forth! Chris will make it--no-yes--JESUS! I loved this story! For one thing, the list of characters was kept to a low number, (perhaps that is typical in a short story?) And for another thing--your intimation with the medical field caught my attention real early in the story. I haven't been priveliged yet to have read Rilbur, but I suspected Riley early on. And thank you Nephy for a short story!!! It kinda breaks up the longer stories. And as usual, I went through a bunch of tissues! p Author's Response: Haha... at least this time I can be sure the tissues were for wiping your eyes Rilbur is a great writer, he is very detailed and exciting and of course Riley is awesome. Thanks for the review hun, always a pleasure. Date: 08/15/2010 07:58 PM Title: Chris and Luke Reviewer: Ekram Pisces Nephylim, The breadth of your writing continues to amaze me. You can go from an adventure in Hostage to a long and sometimes painful love story in Weeping Lily to a futuristic emotional roller coaster like this one. Bravo! Author's Response: Thank you I like to experiment in my writing. I suppose that's kind of obvious. One thing that doesn't change thought... the excitement I feel at each and every review I receive. So thank you for reading and thank you so much for reviewing. Date: 08/15/2010 07:32 PM

Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Ricky A fantasticly loving story. I was in tears more than once. Beautiful, just beautiful. Well Done. Hugz and a cookie on this one Nephy Author's Response: Thank you. Hugz right back atcha Date: 11/03/2010 07:25 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Armaan Very interesting read, excellent narration. Yes, "Special" I wud agree. :-) Author's Response: Thank you. It's nice to hear from you. It's always a pleasure when other authors like what I write. I'm grateful Date: 10/06/2010 10:20 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Douw Just read it and fell in love with it sigh what a sweet story!!! Author's Response: thank you hun. Your reviews always make me smile. I'm glad you liked it. Date: 09/19/2010 12:53 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Headwind Outstanding, original, creative, beautiful. I love your characters and dialogue, your setting (though it could have been fleshed out even more), and your story line. Thanks for a wonderful read. Headwind Author's Response: Thank you for your comments. The setting was meant to be hazy. I'm not sure that anyone noticed what I was hinting at in that the story is not set in the here and now Date: 09/19/2010 11:43 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Jian Sierra That was just so beautiful. Thank you for the story. It definitely made my day. I just love it so much, everything about it. You're awesome! Author's Response: Awww hun. Thank you. That was lovely of you. Date: 09/19/2010 08:25 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: AyJay Really nice story, Neph. I went into it a bit skeptical - can two boys really find love together when one of them is learning disabled? But you totally sold it. Extraordinarily sweet and really great suspense at the end. Have you thought about taking this further? It would be interesting (to me) to read more details about how Jamie's life pans out at university - how he handles new friendships, dating, sex while away from Marc. Author's Response: Jamie's finished with university now The story came to me complete and I never had an idea about extending it, although it would be a challenge given the world in which it is set. It might be fun to expand, especially if Jamie gets a job working on star drives. Who knows, maybe Jamie and Marc will reach the stars after all I suppose it will rase a whole new set of ethics... whether Marc would be accepted on a star programme given his mental health history, whether he would be accepted as he is or rejected because of how he was. Interesting. I have so many projects on the go right now that it's not on the cards but who knows. Thanks for reviewing and I am really glad you liked the story in the end Date: 09/18/2010 11:27 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Nil Street That was a very beautiful story. Damn, I cried! I NEVER cry! Damn you! But if I could, I'd hug you. Author's Response: This is just about the only situation where I feel good about making someone cry. I am really glad you liked my story. It was one I very much enjoyed writing. Date: 09/17/2010 04:12 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Nanmander Loved it a lot. It was sweet and moving and reading it was a real catharsis. I needed that. Thank you! Author's Response: I'm really glad I helped to give you something you needed, and I am very glad you liked my story. Thank you Date: 09/16/2010 08:50 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! You sweet, sweet thing, you! I HAVE to disagree on only *one* small point. In this particular story, the "Angel" was sitting at a keyboard somewhere across the *pond*, periodically dabbing at her sparkling, misty eyes. But not to worry! This "Angel's" tears were happy ones, because she KNEW what she was doing! What a touching and sentimental story this is! Nephy? Do you have ANY idea how many times you broke my heart here? Especially when Jamie left for Uni. This story completely overwhelmed me, Nephy! Thank you so much! And the chapter end notes? Meh Author's Response: Awww... thank you hun. I'm no angel I am so glad you liked this one. i have no idea where it came from but I had to just sit and write it.... in three days, mostly on the train, just as it is And as for the end notes Date: 09/16/2010 05:18 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Johnathan Colourfield wow nephy. what a powerful story... i will wonder over to the forum now Author's Response: Thanks hun. Date: 09/16/2010 12:48 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Louis Special, is one of those stories that begs for a larger readership. It’s one of those stories that, when devoured, needs to be devoured over and over and over again. The author has delivered a touching, original and highly believable concept of friendship, love and youth in this, a tale that deserves nothing less than the accolades it should be harnessing. The characters of Marc and Jamie are diamonds that sparkle with their simple truth and integrity. A truth that catapults the reader into an emotional roller coaster ride from the very first word to the last. Jamie’s character is, first and foremost, not over the top, as many fictional heroes tend to be. His almost brutal, almost obsessive love for Marc is the kind that wrenches the heart into believing that all good love prospers. The words are written from the author’s heart. Marc’s character is tragic. However, the tragedy is not in his physical being, but, at first, in the depth of his understanding. His soul and spirituality is intact. We have all come across such special people whom we call gifted. We have all had our emotions concerning them. If ever there was a story that I would recommend without hesitation, it is this story of the love between two human beings, this story of a love that must endure insurmountable, almost impossible odds, a love so special, that it has the ability to tear asunder the heart of every reader that falls under its magical spell. Author's Response: OMG. What can I say? That's a freaking awesome review. Thanks Louis. Gods this is an inadequate response to such a thoughtfull and blindingly wonderful review. OMG!!!!! Nephy's lost for words *gasp* Date: 09/16/2010 10:53 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Agaith As always Nephy you write about a truly touching story written in a way that draws the reader in. Your characters always draw strong emotions from me. You are a wonderful author and storyteller and long may you continue Author's Response: Aw honey thanks. *hugs* Date: 09/16/2010 09:57 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Forty-Two Even though this story is based solely in reality there is something otherwordly about it... Your worlds are so surreal, hyperreal, in a way that just defies description. Your characters are always just over the edge into something so glowingly wonderful that it defies reality while shaping reality the way it should be... Gah, I can't explain it. Have you ever watched the show Pushing Daisies? The show is full of bright colours, outgoing, quirky characters, flourishing music, and the sets are just slightly off so that you believe its reality but can't help but feel as though you're watching a live play, and your stories have the same fantasical feeling. There are so many things that people could say are WRONG about this kind of love, but you prove undenialbly that it should be right and is nothing but pure. I will forgive the fact that everything works out happily-ever-after in that not-quite-so-realistic way, seeing as nothing can stop Nephy when you have to tell what is in your heart. Author's Response: Totally. I have to be true to the story. Did you realise that it didn't happen here and now? Maybe that's what gave it the sense of unreality Date: 09/15/2010 11:14 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Mariss Loved it! It was so sweet! Good job, I love your work. Author's Response: Thank you. It was kind of you to say so Date: 09/15/2010 09:30 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: adamo That was a truly special story. Such an insightful and interesting plot. Author's Response: Thank you. I'm really glad you liked it. I think the plot is interesting, I think it raises some intersting issues and I love to explore difficult issues in my stories Date: 09/15/2010 09:07 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Azarael It takes a special person to make a special story.I loved this beautiful story,This is the your best work so far up todate. -Aza Author's Response: Thank you honey. It's been mentioned more than once that I'm 'special' I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for the review Date: 09/15/2010 07:35 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: PArchment of love Oh, Nephy! This is the most wonderful story ever! I love it so much. You did awesome work as always! Author's Response: Thank you. I am so glad you like it. Date: 09/15/2010 05:54 PM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Cia Who could refrain from leaving a comment after reading that? That was spectacular Nephy!! I know you always have a purpose beyond your pieces but this story was too beautiful and emotional for me to even think about it. I just wanted to be immersed in Jamie and Marc's world, in their love and their devotion to each other. This was a very special story you wrote, full of so much that I couldn't possibly comment on it all. I count this as a spectaular start to my day, I got a new read from you that was amazing. I knew there was a reason I had you favorited so I always know when you start something new!! I look forward to the next one as I re-start reading this to savor it again Author's Response: Wow, thank you I am so grinning now It's always lovely to hear from you and I am so glad you liked this story. Marc and Jamie just came to me and insisted I tell their story so I did. They are so adorable. Marc is delicious and I can hear his laugh even now. Even though neither of them is based on anyone real they have come alive for me in a way that not all of my characters do. I am so glad that came through in the writing. Date: 09/15/2010 08:18 AM Title: Can love truly conquer all? Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Just beautiful. Thank you. Author's Response: Thank you hun. Glad you liked it Date: 09/15/2010 08:01 AM

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: jacked325 I absolutely loved this story. I thought the emotions were portrayed perfectly, and the characters were just truly amazing. I also really enjoyed your writing, and I look forward to other long stories you (possibly) will write in the future! Also, do you have any recommendations for love stories that are long? Thanks! Author's Response: Thank you very much for your comments, I was delighted to read it I have to admit I really like this story myself. Depends what you mean about love stories that are long. There are lots and lots them. Lots of the stories by the hosted authors are love stories and quite a few are completely. If you don't mind stories that are not finished yet then read Nightowl, all his stories are beautiful. All my stories are love stories in one way or another. If you want sweet and fairly gentle DONT read Love in Chains which is hardcore BDSM but most of the others are safe. All of them except Fallen and Red Gold are completed. All of them except Special, Miracle at Christmas and Curve Balls are long... 40K - 100K words Date: 12/02/2010 01:09 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Frostina I loved the story... Sacrificed a night's sleep... hell its just 7 am. i can sleep peacefully now that i have read the whole story.... Beautiful people make you want to know them better... well came to know two most beautiful people... looking forward to more stories... Frosty Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you enoyed the story and liked my beautiful boys Date: 11/17/2010 07:39 PM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: karenmm Hi I enjoyed the story. Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and it's great that you took the time to leave a comment. Date: 10/13/2010 03:13 PM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Hamen Cheese So I finally managed to finish reading Hostage and I'm glad they didn't die! Hehe. At one as I got closer to the ending, it was starting to feel anti-climactic but then you pulled through in the end. Thanks for the great story and I hope they do indeed have a happy life together. Author's Response: Who knows I think they will. The omens all seem to point that way. But even if there is no happy ever after... and there is NEVER a happy ever after... at least there is a happy for now Glad you stayed the distance hun Date: 10/05/2010 05:02 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Wyndham Thank you Nephy for another masterpiece Author's Response: You're very welcome hun. Thank you for the comment and for sticking with the story all the way through the journey. Date: 09/29/2010 06:34 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Wow. Such a beautiful ending. I am so sad it's over, that was an amazing journey. Can't wait for your next tale. You are an absolutely brilliant writer. Author's Response: Thank you. I really appreciate your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the epic journey and got to like the boys as much as I do There is always another tale hun. They're queueing up waiting to be posted Date: 09/28/2010 09:38 PM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: John Ryan Larson What a great story teller you are! Such a good tale of love fulfilled and the effort it takesto keep it. An easy read with adventures to keep our interest to the end. Congrats! JRL Author's Response: Thank you. I am really glad you enjoyed my story and I'm grateful for your review. Date: 09/27/2010 09:03 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Agaith Nephy, I absolutely loved this story, Rowan and Astrin pulled at the heartstrings with the tenderness of their love. Seeing the trials and tribulations you put them through only made me root more and more for them. A bloody good job I say Author's Response: Awww thank you. I am so glad you liked it. Date: 09/27/2010 07:54 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Douw Lol Grate story!!! You had me hooked from beginning to end;~} Author's Response: Thank you sweetheart. That means a lot to me. I am so so glad you liked it Date: 09/27/2010 01:24 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Kanaye *laughs at End Notes* Very well done. I quite enjoyed this. Thank you very much for a wonderful story. Author's Response: Yeah... our boys scrub up well don't they and Phana did an awesome job with the bells. Glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you ever so much for the comment. Date: 09/27/2010 01:06 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: sanman That was just so sweet, beautiful, Neph you just get better by the stories. Looking forward to more, thankyou, a jinormous hug, hope i don't break your bones. More please? Author's Response: That hug was fabulous. It's going to take a minute before I can breathe again but it was well appreciated. : I am working on Weeping Lily at the moment and want to get it finished and posted before the new efiction goes live. Then I have two finished stories and a couple of almost finished ones ready to start posting once the new system is in place. So you get lots more hun. I hope you enjoy them all that;s what they're there for after all Date: 09/27/2010 12:51 AM Title: Chapter 38 - All at Sea Reviewer: sanman What a rolercoaster of a chapter, Neph. You had me holding my breath. Your story or should I say narative sucks me in completely and makes for compulsive reading. There's always a twist to your tails,thanks for sharing your gift, I loved it,keep going, you rock,bigtime Author's Response: Awww hun, that was lovely of you. Thank you. I am really glad you liked the story. Dont worry I can't help but keep going. There are lots of stories in me to tell yet I hope you enjoy them all. Date: 09/27/2010 12:40 AM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: phana14 Neph! This has to one of the sweetest and most loving story endings ever! From the first chapter it was evident that Rowan had something more than a hatred for Astrin. Something was gnawing at his insides, and he just didn't know WHAT it was. But very soon a beautiful butterfly emerged and proceeded to flit around two very masculine boys and pollinate them. What a GD AWESOME story, Nephylim!!! I HATE that overused word *kudos*. But for this story....*KUDOS* I COULD stop now, but it's so hard to take a hike from something that has been so much a part of my life for several months. Damn! I think you will throw yourself into "Weeping Lily" and continue on "ad infinitum". Nephy? I'm going back to "Love In Chains". I think I can handle it a lot more open-minded this time! You are one SUPER GREAT STORYTELLER!!! HUGS! AND MORE!! OH HELL! Author's Response: You make me smile SO MUCH. Thank you I know that you have kept with the story through thick and thin and you have really taken to my boys. I am so glad you liked the way it ended... and the bell ringing was fabulous Date: 09/26/2010 05:38 PM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Ricky God I loved that line. The red Velvety drapes that tried "manfully" to keep the light out. It implies that they were trying ineptly to block out the light. I laughed over that one. I loved it. And the "Yikes" had me chuckling. I've alwas loved that expression. It works so well for those normally so solid in their expressions. And it relays the feeling of, "Oh shit, I'm out of my element." I loved this so much. It sounds like one that could be revisited with adventures if you wanted to. After all they have magic. What's not to like about that? Author's Response: Thank you hun. I think perhaps your definition of manfully is a little different to mine which is no surprise as you definition of most things is different to the rest of the world... which is why I love you so much Many hugs for following the story and commenting on it. As for more adventures.... who knows Date: 09/26/2010 05:37 PM Title: Chapter 38 - All at Sea Reviewer: phana14 Nephy....oh jeez! I think that you already know how sweet it is to me that Rowan was able to save Astrin from this situation. I love how you have Agnes there when Rowan awakens. How could it get any more comforting than for Rowan to wake up to his future, as told by Astrin's mother? (?) Nephy! I am so nervous! What next? Where do they go? Author's Response: I am sure that by now you know Date: 09/26/2010 04:40 PM Title: Chapter 38 - All at Sea Reviewer: Ricky Brilliant! Of course what would we expect. So I thought you were posting them both together? You know at Phana's age, he doesn't even by milk with an extended fresh sale date. You sure you want to make the old guy wait for the final? Author's Response: Ummmm.... they are both posted... well they're not together in the sense that they are two separate chapters and they are not together like Rowan and Astrin are... but they are both up.... I think. Glad you stuck with me hun and that you enjoyed the ride Date: 09/26/2010 04:23 PM Title: Epilogue - Together Forever Reviewer: Phoenix I hope there's gonna be a book 2. This story was magnificent! Author's Response: Awww.... thank you hun. Much apprecaited. It was quite a roller coaster wasn't it? I so enjoyed writing it and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Date: 09/26/2010 03:56 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo OH and I really really hope you post soon. Author's Response: I promise the end of the story before the end of the week Date: 09/25/2010 03:44 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Oh god. I really, really hope nothing drastically bad happens... that would be heartbreaking. Author's Response: What? You mean even more drastically bad than getting kidnapped and drugged and about to drown? Probably not Date: 09/25/2010 03:44 PM Title: Chapter 37 - Lost Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Wow, I must say I wasn't expecting that. Loved the tension, though, and most of all the way Rowan shows how much he cares for Astrin. I like how they are making use of their abilities too. Thanks for the read. Author's Response: Thank you hun. I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. thanks for your review. Date: 09/24/2010 10:24 AM Title: Chapter 37 - Lost Reviewer: Kanaye Oooh. So much for Rowan to the rescue. Author's Response: Well hang on just a cotton picking minute there.... there's a whole chapter and an epilogue left. Give Rowan a chance Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Date: 09/23/2010 09:52 PM Title: Chapter 37 - Lost Reviewer: phana14 You are REALLY something else! What an extraordinary imagination you have! Just when the boys are ready to step lightly into their own version of 'happily ever after', Nephy gets a taste of indigestion and says to herself: "I am SO going to make the readers of this squirm." That's really not nice at all. So we have a problem here. A potentially deadly scenerio is unfolding. How does (OH! There is NO DOUBT in my mind that lives will be saved, I just don't know whose...) Rowan manage to wake Astrin enough so they can combine their powers and present a defense? Ahhh! Uncle Charles? BTW! Just my opinion, mind you, but Strebo sucks big time! Thanks Nephy! Right down to the WIRE huh? Damn!!! Author's Response: You have no idea how far down to the wire hun... alll the way. Put it this way... at least one of them falls into the arms of death... whether they are pulled out of them again or not is what you are going to have to wait to find out. Thank you for your fabulous reviews. I love every single one of them. Date: 09/23/2010 03:19 PM Title: Chapter 37 - Lost Reviewer: Douw YAY! He found him I know you would not be that cruel to us Nephy!! Author's Response: Ummm.... he's found him but I don't know if you've noticed they are about to get crushed or drowned in a sinking hover and Astrin is unconscious. I don't think it's time to start celebrating yet. Date: 09/23/2010 03:11 PM Title: Chapter 36 - The Conclave Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ohhh, exciting. Astrin's reaction made me feel a little sad for Rowan, but it shows how complex emotions and feelings can be. Sigh. Three more chapters to go? Sweet, I'm looking forward to seeing how this wraps up. Author's Response: Thank you hun. I apprecaite your reviews. Loving your new story Date: 09/23/2010 05:10 AM Title: Chapter 36 - The Conclave Reviewer: Quonus10 The tux is out, pressed and ready, sorry my dear, your protestations are not match the facts Rowan's opening up to Astrin was the highlight of the chapter - that along with how quickly he abdicated was further insight into his character. Author's Response: He was never meant to be a king. Although circumstances change, shit happens and who knows he might have to Date: 09/22/2010 06:03 AM Title: Chapter 36 - The Conclave Reviewer: Douw Hey just read the chapter oh dark one you love teasing us don't you hehe It has grate lol Author's Response: Oh yeah, I am a great tease and you love it Glad you are still enjoying the ride. Hold on tight, it's not over yet and the story ends with a bang Date: 09/21/2010 04:58 PM Title: Chapter 36 - The Conclave Reviewer: phana14 Nephy Nephy! OMG!!! When Rowan dropped down on one knee---Lady, the tears of joy started flowing and if I lived in a city the neighbors would have heard me screaming and called for emergency! Even though I understood that there are going to be many MORE problems before the wedding-snic-this was what I have so desperatly needed for our boys! It would seem that at the moment only Astrin's psyching himself out is the one hurdle remaining. God I love this! Nephy. I may not agree with HOW you end "Hostage", but at this point there is no WAY that you can keep them apart! And you KNOW that! Whether in life or death, Rowan and Astrin will do the *forever* thing until.....! What a beautiful love story--so far. Love you Nephy! Please don't be mean to our boys. Author's Response: Ummmm.... Phana as much as I hate to point this out... there are THREE chapters left and it doesn't take three chapters for me to write a wedding. Just in case you do yourself and injury I think I should pre warn you that Astrin doesn't come back in an hour... or two... or... welll just make sure you're sitting down with a handkie and a bottle of vodka. As always thanks for the review hun. I hope you don't hate me too much by the end :0 Date: 09/21/2010 04:38 PM Title: Chapter 36 - The Conclave Reviewer: Phoenix So if Astrin becomes King, does Rowan become his Queen? Author's Response: Rowan already is a Queen Besides that only happen IF they get married. Date: 09/21/2010 12:33 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Could you give me the link to the Hostage discussion thread? Thanks. Author's Response: I've posted a link in the end notes of the last chapter But I think (I hope) that this will work too https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/27789-hostage Date: 09/20/2010 01:57 AM Title: Chapter 35 - Return to Maratebo Reviewer: Quonus10 Review: See my post on the Hostage Thread Okay - cliff notes version for this venue - nice scene, like Rowan's grit, Astrin is smart to see Rowan's strength, got my tux for the wedding but think a wedding is premature. Can't wait to see your ending. Whew got that all out. Andy Author's Response: Haha. You sound breathless. Been shopping for shoes maybe ? Date: 09/19/2010 03:36 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo God Astrin and Rowan just keep getting more and more amazing together. I have a kind of random question. What do Astrin and Rowan look like... I mean I have an idea. Astrin has long very blonde hair, fair skin, full lips... and Rowan has black hair, tan skin... but I would love to read a more detailed description of their appearances. Brilliant chapter! Can't wait to read the next one. Author's Response: Date: 09/19/2010 03:20 PM Title: Chapter 35 - Return to Maratebo Reviewer: Douw LOL poor Astrin bet that had to hurt... Oh i can't wait for the next chapter YAY!!! Author's Response: Thank you hun. I would think that the most painful thing is going to be the sunburn Welcome back Date: 09/19/2010 12:09 PM Title: Chapter 35 - Return to Maratebo Reviewer: phana14 Ye Gods, Nephy! You are such a GD tease! If you can keep this story going along at THIS pace, with the boys so freaking HAPPY--Then I don't EVER want it to end! Let them love in sin for the rest of eternity, although I question whether love this bottomless could possibly be sinful. I'm thinking *no way!*. Oh! One other thing! "So bite me." Really now, that was SO Nephylim! *giggles* And, ahem, the "Conclave"? Is that another way to describe a....? Thanks a ton, Nephy! And if you treat the boys to what they need--well, just maybe you'll get a smooch along WITH a regular *HUG*. Author's Response: Um.... Er.... Hmmm.... Remember when you read the next couple of chapters life is a bitch and so am I Date: 09/19/2010 06:09 AM Title: Chapter 35 - Return to Maratebo Reviewer: Kanaye Naughty Astrin, scaring Rowan like that. Tsk tsk. But good that now they know they dont't have to elope, or what not. Yay! Author's Response: Umm.... yeah right Everything is going to be fine now. *snigger* Glad you enjoyed hun Date: 09/19/2010 12:33 AM Title: Chapter 35 - Return to Maratebo Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Another lovely chapter. I laughed out loud when Astrid said: “I’m not so good even on a horse.” hehe, it just made me giggle. Until the next chapter... Author's Response: Nearly at the end now. Only a few more to go but a lot packed in. I'm glad you liked this one Poor Astrin he really isn't very good on the back of an animal is he.... oh wait... there is one he's pretty good on Date: 09/18/2010 04:50 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Nanmander Wow, very, very good. I really love all the desert imagery, and the bittersweet mood/tone of the whole chapter. Rowan and Astrin...I love them, they are so sweet and their story is captivating. Maybe some day you can write about two women that way? Just a short story or something...But hey, I'm happy to read whatever you write. Cheers, Nephy! Author's Response: Well I am under pressure from my daughters to do just that so watch this space. I have a few proects to finish but a lesbian story is definitely on th cards. In the meantime I'm really glad you are enjoying this story as it was so much fun to write. THey're not out of the desert yet. Date: 09/16/2010 08:44 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Kanaye I've really been enjoying this! The whole thing with the poison was exceedingly unique and well done. Can't wait till the next chapter! Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you are enjoying the story and I truly appreciate the comment. Date: 09/14/2010 11:27 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Riley Jericho Oh Neph...sigh...stunning tale. With trying to keep up with writing I got behind with Histage, but just read the last 15 chapters in one go. How do you do it? I'm agonisingly jealous. The thing you manage is to tell a story. A real honest to God story that's full of colour and romance and the unexpected. We get deeply drawn in and are the better for it. Thank you. I just reprogrammed the ratings to give 84 out of 10 Riley Author's Response: Aww hun. That was so sweet. Thank you. That's the best thing that anyone could say to me... that I manage to tell a story. That's exactly what I want to be... a storyteller. *hugs* Date: 09/14/2010 03:05 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: adamo The intensity of their relationship is breathtaking. Wow... i'm mesmerized... those last two chapters were absolutely fantastic. I am so excited to see what will happen when they arrive home. Author's Response: Thank you. i really appreciate the comment. I'm glad you liked the last two chapters as I liked writing them. Date: 09/13/2010 04:27 AM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Ricky Fantastic Chapters both. I am continually sucked deeper and deeper into this wonderful love quest. The blending of the two castles is going to be magnificent as the two become one and the whole of their world becomes stronger as the two kingdoms merge into one massive force to be reconded with. But even a bed of roses have a thorn or two to worry about. Brilliantly done. I loves the emotion you poured into their lovemaking even without the extreme details you felt the passion and sincere love erupt between them. A truly orgasmic chapter. And a welcome break from the moving. I am so far behind in welcomes. I'll have to catch up tonight. Cheers. Author's Response: Thanks hun. I'm really glad you liked the chapters. Yeah, there is certainly going to be some thorns. The story is far from over yet Date: 09/12/2010 02:53 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, This is an attempt to restore the review of chapter 34. Although I already know this won't be the same as the original, it still comes from the deepest parts of my heart. I never really cared whether or not the boys went through with a ceremony, (be it an official one or mops and broomsticks), It was their 'union' that I was all about all this time. And you gave me a present SO HUGE that I was overwhelmed! Then, as if that wasn't enough, you wrapped it in the sweetest words I've ever heard and then tied it up with acceptance from BOTH families! I cannot even IMAGINE anyone any sweeter than Nephylim!! You're the very best! This was SO huge for me! I guess you could say that I even LIKED this chapter! Thank you Nephy! And a really special thanks for keeping it "clean". HUGSX Author's Response: With these two it really, really didn't feel right to be too graphic in the sex stakes. I aimed for erotic rather than dirty. I'm glad you appreciated it. Don't tell your fibs. You've still got the bellringing gear under the bed Date: 09/12/2010 05:10 AM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Douw Beautiful sweet and assume :~} Author's Response: Just like you Date: 09/12/2010 03:08 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Charlottems This for me is a wonderfully told, rich story...thankyou! Author's Response: No thank you for taking the time to review. They mean a lot Date: 09/11/2010 09:50 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: phana14 well- ga lost my perfect review. sorry nephy! maybe this one won't take me almost thirty minutes and so many tears. *crosses fingers* I know what I said in the last review, Nephy! But I don't keep track of EMOTIONS as far as what I write as I am writing a review. This isn't working, sorry. Tomorrow? This chapter IS that good! Thanks Nephy! Author's Response: I knew you'd like it Date: 09/11/2010 06:06 PM Title: Chapter 33 The Road Home Reviewer: phana14 OK! Deep breathing here. Slowing down now. Whew! Oh gods! Is this EVER looking GOOD!!!! Nephy-God I love you!! When Charles looked over his shoulder (while on the bus) and I saw what HE saw---I totally *lost it*! If the boys NEVER go any farther than that--I'll be perfectly thrilled with the story! Anything else will just be cake and ice cream!! Oh! Huggy huggies to you! Author's Response: I think you had better take a cold shower before 34 Oh... and get yourself a cake fork and an ice cream spoon LOL Thanks as always... and I LOVE huggy huggies. Date: 09/11/2010 04:59 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Mmmm, thanks for the read. That was beautiful and quite hot. Looking forward to 35... Author's Response: Thank you. I'l so glad you liked it. i think that rates among the favourite chapters I have ever written Date: 09/11/2010 03:41 PM Title: Chapter 33 The Road Home Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Okay, I need to move right onto the next chapter. I love that there are two! hehe. I liked very much Hersten's idea to forge a new way of ruling. Author's Response: If only it were that easy huh? Thanks for the comment Date: 09/11/2010 03:28 PM Title: Chapter 34 - A Night in the Desert Reviewer: Quonus10 Brilliant! That is all I wanted to say. 34 was Brilliant! Author's Response: Oh WOW thank you. I was hoping you would like this one Date: 09/11/2010 03:27 PM Title: Chapter 33 The Road Home Reviewer: Quonus10 Wait, there were no cliffs?!?! That was really good how you tied a few ends together. Hersten's reaction was not entirely foreseeable but nice all the same. Charles too. Despite your protestations, I am going out to get the formal wear for the wedding Author's Response: Nope no cliffs... actually there are no cliffs for a while. don't get complacent though... just when you think it's all working out.. that's when the unexpected catches you Date: 09/11/2010 11:47 AM Title: Chapter 32 - Safe Reviewer: Alphonse Rukin This story is f**king amazing so far. This almost seems like it could be the end and you could write a sequel but so far it doesn't seem like that's whats going to happen. I love the way you describe things. Its so.. Chic. XD Author's Response: Thank you hun. I appreciate the comment. No, it's not the end. There are 38 chapters altogether so there is still some way to go. Date: 09/06/2010 04:43 PM Title: Chapter 32 - Safe Reviewer: Douw Nephy this is a grate chapter it was real sweet;~} Loved it can't wait for more! I hope they get to.... you know ok i'm shutting up now;~} Author's Response: Date: 09/06/2010 05:56 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Astrin is so cute.. and horny... I am very excited to see what happens when they head home. Author's Response: There's still quite a journey to enjoy Thanks for sticking with me... and yes, Astrin is now rather horny but he's going to have to wait... serve him right Date: 09/06/2010 04:58 AM Title: Chapter 32 - Safe Reviewer: phana14 "He was like a dark angel and he scared the hell out of me...." SO like you Nephy! I don't EVEN have to tell you what this chapter means to me, do I? Great BIG HUGS! Author's Response: Thank you hun. Glad you like it. I anticipate you will like Chapter 34 Date: 09/05/2010 05:55 PM Title: Chapter 32 - Safe Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Oh this was such a sweet chapter. I enjoyed reading this. I am so thrilled Astrin and Rowan are well, and even more that they are happy together. Now I hope they manage to make it work between them. Looking forward to 33. Author's Response: Well... it's going to take a lot hun I'm telling you that... and it requires sacrifices, huge sacrifices. There are some things that just can't be got around, planned for or compromised with. But... it isn't over until the very last word. Date: 09/05/2010 07:40 AM Title: Chapter 32 - Safe Reviewer: Quonus10 UGHHHH!!! Just when I thought everything was going to be fine you go and put the cryptic message in the end note section! If I didn't love you so much I would hate you for that What a great job throughout the chapter tying things together [not up yet I see] and putting other things in context without saying too much. Will post more on the forum but three thumbs up Author's Response: Thanks honey. The boys still have a long way to go... physically, emotionally and in their relationship and the story doesn't end until the last page But for now there is a breathing space and my favoutire chapter of the entire story is coming up soon Thanks for sticking with me hun Date: 09/05/2010 07:13 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Cesky I am confused also, where is chp 32???? Author's Response: Sorry.... getting to it. I did post it but I don't know where it went. It's coming back right now Date: 09/04/2010 08:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Hmm... I was all excited for chapter 32... Author's Response: Sorry... Don't know where it went. Doing it again right now Date: 09/04/2010 06:52 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Joshpdx Sorry. I am a bit new to all this, but if I read the entry on the Home page correctly, you uploaded Chapter 32 this morning. But I can't seem to find it. Help. I feel like I am falling down a dark hole...but someone said to roll...will that help me out of this difficulty? Author's Response: Ummmmm.... I DEFINITELY uploaded the chapter and it was there... I have no idea where it went No Worries I'll do it again right now Date: 09/04/2010 03:45 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: phana14 *SIGH* Thank you, Nephy. *hugs* Author's Response: Hehe... don't thank me yet. They've just jumped off a cliff remember. Date: 09/03/2010 01:45 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Mykal Outstanding cliffhanger! Author's Response: I'm still denying the cliffhanger. I mean they're falling not hanging ... but thank you anyway hun. Always nice to hear from you Date: 09/01/2010 01:56 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu I love this story. It has me completely hooked. Thank you. Author's Response: Thank you hun. I'm really glad you like the story. More to come Date: 08/30/2010 04:46 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Whoa, what a chapter. I'm out of breath. No, seriously, that was a great ride and what a place to leave it at. Nice. I love the creativity in this story. Sweet. Author's Response: Thank you. So glad you didn't use the 'c' word I hope you continue to enoy the story. There's a way to go yet Date: 08/30/2010 03:18 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Douw What a cliff hanger! WOW Even if it is a clify it's still really good grate idea with the stone btw! Author's Response: Thank you. I have to admit that I kind of wrote myself into a corner with that one and it took a bit of thinking to work out a way out of it. I'm glad you think it worked. Date: 08/30/2010 02:45 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Ricky AH! Now tell me you didn't SEE the cliff hanger on this one! I can't believe you would leave us falling like this. A great love story. I hope gay marriage is legal there and in that time. Well done now give us the rescue. Author's Response: ricky, ricky, do I have to say it again? They are not hanging off a cliff... they are jumping off it. Glad you are enjoying. As for gay marriage... come on! They are princes, their fathers are kings.. they MAKE the laws... don't they? Um... oh! Well.... well... Phana things their is going to be a wedding. He is going to ring the bell but.... there are... issues. One of the issues is that there need to be two participants. Date: 08/30/2010 02:04 PM Title: Chapter 31 - A Hand in the Darkness Reviewer: Quonus10 Thought you said there were no cliffs to hang from? Awesome chapter - truly imaginative and wonderful. Andy Author's Response: They're not hanging from the cliff... they jumped off it Glad you enjoyed the chapter, it's one of my favourites, although my absolute favourite is yet to come. Date: 08/30/2010 11:07 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Looking For Answers in the Dark Reviewer: Quonus10 Nephy, I can't do a chapter by chapter review, it is too hard for my tiny brain to come up with superlatives for each one - that and I didn't want to stop turning chapters to take the time to do write one - BUT WOW is a great word for this. I thought the first few chapters were GREAT but damn girl, these last 20 were AWESOME. Rowan turned from a right royal prick into something more than decent and Astrin shows he isn't Mr. Perfect by not being able to handle his own feelings as well as Rowan. Yes I know I need to wait for the next chapter but don't wait too long PLEASE!!! Andy Author's Response: Thank you I am really glad you like the story and yes, I think the boys do become more 'real' and 'normal' as the story goes on having started almost as caricatures. I'm really glad you're seeing that. The story is just over 2/3 done and there is a lot more to come. It may be difficult to see how but there is Thank you for reading and reviewing. I am really really glad you like this story which was a total experiment for me. Date: 08/29/2010 06:24 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Looking For Answers in the Dark Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! You--you.... So *big deal*!! I see you are perfecting a form of torture that doesn't involve whips and/or chains now. These last few chapters have been so bittersweet! I have to keep reminding myself that it's just a story-just a story. And then I think-"Then why do *I* hurt?" And I already know the answer to that. "Because Nephy's mean!" You got me hooked here. p Thanks Nephy. Author's Response: Hehe. Don't worry it's going to get worse. Date: 08/29/2010 05:08 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Looking For Answers in the Dark Reviewer: Douw Grate i love this story but pleas hurry i can't wait to see what happens next! Author's Response: Well you are going to have to. So there Don't worry hun I'll post another one soon. Date: 08/28/2010 11:51 AM Title: Chapter 30 - Looking For Answers in the Dark Reviewer: Ricky A fantastic read. Can Rowan wrestle the darkness into submission? Can he lead Astrin out of the darkness? Can Astrin reach his hand and be pulled to safety? Will someone ransom themselves for the antidote? Is there an antidote? Will there BE a morning for Astrin? Mark Arbour has nothing on you in the way of cliff hangers that's for sure. Author's Response: Cliffhanger? Where? Damn, did I miss that one Thanks hun. Glad you're enjoying. Appreciate the comment as always. Date: 08/28/2010 11:28 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday The tension was perfect. I was on the edge of my seat, and hoping, hoping, still hoping Astrin will be okay. Another lovely chapter. Can't wait for the next one... :P Author's Response: Hope is a wonderful thing... the last thing out of the box :) Date: 08/28/2010 09:40 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo That was so amazingly beautiful, an innocent and sweet. The whole seeing death in his eyes thing is quite frightening though. You are such an amazing writer :) I hope the next chapter is posted soon. Author's Response: Thank you. I was aiming for a simple, sweet chapter. There are some heavy ones coming up. Thank you so much for the comment they always make my day. I'll post the next chapter soon... maybe today. Date: 08/28/2010 04:10 AM Title: Chapter 26 - Freedom Fighting Reviewer: Hamen Cheese I've only gotten this far (Ch. 26) but I have a sinking feeling House Uriel is involved in the revolution and that the four of them were allowed to escape. For all I know these have already been tackled by the next few chapters but I guess I'll wait and see when I can continue it again. :D Author's Response: To put your mind at rest I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying that apart from a few mentions House Uriel play no part in this story at all. As far as their escape is concerned maybe I have made it too easy but the revolution was really kicking Strebo in the balls and distracted him. When he realised what was going on he got suspicious that the prisoners might be escaping (of course he had no idea that Rowan and Astrin were there) and took it on himself to go and check. He is the leader of a House after all. Think about dungeons in a castle... how often does the king ever go there? All of the rest of the guards were fighting for their life against the invaders. It says a lot for how much Strebo wanted to keep hold of his prisoners that he went personally to make sure they didn't get out. He was just a little too late. Date: 08/26/2010 04:57 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Ricky Are you kidding? The story is NEVER long enough when it's this good. The wait for the next CHAPTER is already too long. It's like a never ending commercial break. When you are good you can't help yourself I guess. Author's Response: He he. Thank you hun. That was a lovely thing to say. I won't make you wait too long for the next chapter. Maybe tomorrow :) Date: 08/25/2010 12:08 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Decline Reviewer: Ricky AH! It's already too long. I will be watching. Author's Response: What's too long? the story? It's a long way from over yet :) Date: 08/24/2010 10:34 PM Title: Chapter 28 - Revalations Reviewer: Ricky I was afraid of that. Man, you've given a whole new meaning to a poison pen letter. Author's Response: Haha. You know me, nothing is EVER simple. See sinister intent, design and meaning in everything... and you will often be right. Date: 08/24/2010 10:17 PM Title: Chapter 23 - The Eve of Battle and Storming the Castle Reviewer: Ricky really are lady evil aren't you? Author's Response: Of course. I thought you knew that by now and I knew you knew that, and I knew you knew I knew you knew that :) Date: 08/24/2010 08:45 PM Title: Chapter 22 - The City On The Hill Reviewer: Ricky This only gets better and better. Author's Response: Thank you. I really liked this chapter. i could see smell and feel the city and I tried to get the readers to do that too Date: 08/24/2010 08:43 PM Title: Chapter 18- Learning About Yourselves Reviewer: Ricky Ok, so is the affection genuine or is it from the shield that Astrin is throwing up? Hmmm, And you thought I would miss that little tidbit. The question is really then, Is Astrine doing it intentionally and does he have feelings of love for him or is he going to make him love him so completely that being spurned is a greater torture and retribution. And is it possible for him to do it and in the process fall in love with him too? A nicely tangled web you've woven. Date: 08/24/2010 07:49 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Dreams and Plans Reviewer: Ricky An adventure! A quest and a vision. What more can you ask. So much of this smacks of Renissaunce with technology. Maybe a joust through the sunroof of a limo. Fascinating. Date: 08/24/2010 05:42 PM Title: Chapter 9 - The Prince Returns Reviewer: Ricky Is that you poking me in the back? lol Cheers, Ricky Date: 08/24/2010 05:26 PM Title: Chapter 8 Shocks and Memories Reviewer: Ricky This is getting way interesting. Now we get into the politics of it. Awesome writing. I am sooo into it. Oh, and BTW, I'm blaming you if my own readers suffer. Cheers. Ricky Date: 08/24/2010 05:09 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Riley Jericho Got messed up by the summer with my reading. I'd got further than this, but thought I'd let you know I loved the mind invasion stuff. Nicely done. Riley Author's Response: No worries sweetie, life is life and you know how grateful i am for every comment. Hope the summer was awesome and thanks loads for the review. Date: 08/24/2010 01:55 PM Title: Chapter 5 - The Dream Reviewer: Ricky OK, maybe one more chapter before I sleep. Maybe. I'll get the toothpicks to prop my eyes-lids open. Author's Response: Oh don't do that hun. You have to get your beauty sleep... I am not, of course suggesting that you need it :P Date: 08/23/2010 11:47 PM Title: Chapter 4 - A Walk In The Garden Reviewer: Ricky Rowan is really filled with hate. I wonder if the prince is creating a chink in his armour. One thing that was never stated or inferred, or if it was I missed it. Was the age of the princes. The fact that Rowan is caring for him unsupervised I take to mean that they are in mid teens. On to the next. Author's Response: It is stated but I'm not sure where. Rowan is nineteen and Astrin eighteen months younger, so seventeen. I very much doubt that what happens later could have happened if they were younger :) Poor Rowan pays for his attitude big time later on :) You reap what you sow. Thanks for the reviews hun Date: 08/23/2010 11:31 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Astrin Reviewer: Ricky OK, one complaint. Your chapters are waaaaaay too short and should be at least ten times their size. It's just over way too fast. Yes, they must be sissy chapters. I am soooo hooked! Author's Response: Hey!! don't call my chapters sissy. I am shocked. I get the compliment though so you're off the hook :) I am really glad you still like the story :) Date: 08/23/2010 11:08 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Lessons Reviewer: Ricky Ah! Such is the life of Royalty. The games of politics. Politics. A fasinating word. Poly meaning many and tics made up of blood sucking parasites. Where would we be without them. Better I should think. A delightful chapter. giving more life and flesh to them all. On to the next. Author's Response: I LOVE your definition of politics... perfect. I am SO glad you are liking this story. I made a deliberate attempt to get away from my usual style. Unfortunately my evil side did creep in later. Date: 08/23/2010 10:33 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Ricky An absolutely wonderful open. Well fleshed and I am already looking for the next chapter. I love your ability to comport a series of relationships so completely with so few words. You rock. Author's Response: Hey you. That's hugely for the review. Always a pleasure to hear from you. Glad you like the start of my story Date: 08/23/2010 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Decline Reviewer: phana14 w/re your chapter end notes: lalalalalalala I can't hear you! As far as the REST of the chapter goes, I don't believe that EVER in my life has a single chapter made my TOES CURL! JESUS! :):):):):):):)!!! Thanks a million Nephy! btw I LOVED this chapter! Author's Response: I never would have guessed that you liked this chapter :) Soooo... I have to apologise for the sarcasm of the last chapter because I thought you were commenting about this one... yeah I am numerically challenged. Hehe... At least they got to kiss. Date: 08/22/2010 04:11 PM Title: Chapter 28 - Revalations Reviewer: phana14 You are constantly proving that you totally earned your reputation! ...As a mean, coldhearted, unloving person who can't STAND for two boys to just find that happiness that they both SO need and deserve. GODS!!! jk, maybe. Author's Response: Phew... for a minute I thought that you were going to say that I had a GOOD reputation :P Who says the boys aren't going to be happy... eventually? They got it together didn't they? There was some hot action wasn't there? Astrin seemed pretty happy to me. I mean he doesn't even know he's sick yet, let alone that he's dying. Okay well maybe Rowan isn't completely happy but isn't that just paying him back for being a bitch at the start? You're just pissed becuase you got a new frock for the wedding and now the prospect is fading a bit (SA) :P Date: 08/22/2010 03:39 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Decline Reviewer: Douw Grate chapter dark one i loved it as all ways lots of love i it witch i love! Author's Response: I though you might like this one :) I liked this one :) Date: 08/22/2010 02:35 PM Title: Chapter 29 - Decline Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Oh yay, oh yay oh yay oh yay. I feel like singing! (Oh, wait. I am!) hehe. That was sooo lovely. I'm so glad that came up today. I've been hanging on for the chapter. And, just, ahhhh. They're beautiful together. But I'm anxious about Astrin... Poor, sweet Astrin. Your end notes help to calm me down, of course. Can't wait for the next chapter. Author's Response: Your end notes help to calm me down, of course - The do? This one did? Did you read the last line of the chapter :P Umm... yeah... well... I think you're right to be anxious about Astrin. I'm glad you are still reading... and hope that you keep reading the next few chapters :( thanks for the review Date: 08/22/2010 01:25 PM Title: Chapter 28 - Revalations Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ahhhhhh, post quicker. Need. Resolution. hehe, seriously, that was great. Tension solid, and well, it's obvious I can't wait for the next chapter(s), right? I have this feeling about the poison... and possibly Rowan's abilities to manipulate earth things. hmmmmmm. Will have to wait and see, darnit. hehehe. Author's Response: Hmmm.... now wouldn't that be a thing :) I'm glad you are still enjoying. Thanks for the review. Date: 08/19/2010 10:35 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Mykal The listing announcing chapter 28 actually says chapter 27, so it appears as if there are 2 chapter 27's I like this story a lot!! Author's Response: Thank you for the heads up. I'll take a look and see what's happened. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like the story :) Date: 08/18/2010 06:42 PM Title: Chapter 27 - Rest and Relaxation Reviewer: Douw I can only say one thing.......COOL! I love this story seems to me the Astrin Is poisoned but i could be wrong... Author's Response: You could be. I wouldn't put anything past me. But I would have to be a real bitch to kill Astrin off at this point wouldn't I :) You don't think I'm a bitch do you Thanks for continuting to read and review hun. I really appreciate it. Date: 08/17/2010 08:03 AM Title: Chapter 27 - Rest and Relaxation Reviewer: phana14 Nephy Nephy! You have made me a very happy man! :) And none of that "Mayyyybeeee stuff, either. Thanks. And you are a dear! Author's Response: Thank you. It's lovely to see your comments they always make me smile :) I promise I won't Mayyybeee you :) The next chapter will probably make you smile. :) Date: 08/17/2010 03:55 AM Title: Chapter 27 - Rest and Relaxation Reviewer: Anyta Sunday ooohhhhh!!! Darn do I want to read more right now! hehehe. That was awesome. What a lovely end. Great stuff. Author's Response: Thank you. Things are moving on. The boys are still dancing around each other but I think they're both dancing the same dance now... probably the Tango :) Glad you are still enjoying :) Date: 08/17/2010 02:09 AM Title: Chapter 26 - Freedom Fighting Reviewer: phana14 And right now my mind is running with this thought: Did Nephy just hint that Neive is part of a plot in which the revolutionaries will use the boys, dad and uncle as hostages? As usual Nephy, I loved this chapter! It was all about you warning readers to *beware*. And it is FULL of action! But then....... Charles smiled and nodded. "I know", he said comfortingly, but to Rowan there was more than comfort in the words. He looked at his uncle sharply. Charles simply smiled. I think uncle Charles is about as proud of HIS nephy as I am mine! p :) Author's Response: Awww *blish* :) There is something of a distant relationship between Rowan and his uncle. I think that shows more as the story progresses when it's shown alongside Astrin's relationship with his father but (I hope) this is the first sign of the thaw. Rowan has been keeping people at a distance and he is now starting to et them in and I think that reflects on the people around him. And as for Neive... I hinted no such thing :) Date: 08/12/2010 01:50 PM Title: Chapter 25 = Rescue Reviewer: phana14 What the Hell? Where the HELL did THIS chapter come from? I gotta be going blind Nephy! I had this crazy picture of some cartoon music in the background while our boys skittered from room to room with only their feet moving. Yeah-yeah, I know! p I was going to say that they have gotten out of there a lot easier than I would have imagined, but heh, they're not out YET, huh? Another great chapter Nephy! Thanks. Author's Response: HAHA you made me snort coffee. I can HEAR that music. Nope, they're not out yet. They got caught up in something BIG as they are about to find out. Needless to say they have a LONG way to go to get home and even when they get there things are not simple. You're going to have to wait for those bells hun :) Date: 08/12/2010 04:20 AM Title: Chapter 26 - Freedom Fighting Reviewer: Caedus That was a nice little chapter. I'll admit, i'm a bit surprised that you were so....lenient with the guys this chapter, which makes suspect you have more up your sleeve. I don't think Astrin's out the woods yet, but well see. Anyways, cool chapter, hope we can learn mire about the adults abilities in the future :). Author's Response: Hehe... me with something up my sleeve? Nooooo *smiles angelically* What on earth makes you think that Astrin is not out of the woods? When did I mention woods? He's in the streets of the city with the others isn't he? I know he's looking for food but I wasn't thinking of nuts and berries. Sorry SA alert :) I honestly can't remember if we do find out too much about the adults' abilities. To be frank abilities don't feature too greatly after this point. They're a means to an end. I'm not saying they don't come into it because they do but they're not a focus. Now that the action has settled down for a while they're going to be looking more inward. Besides Rowan is going to have something on his mind very soon that is going to put developing his abilities so far on the back boiler they're out of the kitchen. Date: 08/11/2010 08:31 AM Title: Chapter 26 - Freedom Fighting Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Yay, another chapter. I'm glad everyone is okay. I got worried there a moment. :P The next one sounds really good too! Can't wait. hehe Author's Response: Thank you hun. I was a bit worried that it all kind of happened too quickly. There will be more explaination for why the whole assault took place in the first place and what it was trying to achieve but I wanted the whole chapter to be a complete explosion...blink and you miss it, breathless kind of thing and worry that it was all just too fast. Glad you liked it. As to whether everyone is okay... well define okay. Of course physically they're all pretty much in one piece. Date: 08/11/2010 07:37 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu I check GA every morning, hoping to see another chapter up for this story. Enjoying it tremendously. Thank you. Author's Response: Oh wow hun. Thank you. Don't worry there's more, lots more :) Date: 08/10/2010 07:54 AM Title: Chapter 25 = Rescue Reviewer: Nanmander Wow, just realized I haven't been reviewing for your story even though it's one of the few that I follow constantly. Where to begin? Great character development? Good plot? Amazing chemistry between Rowan and Astrin--which I was afraid would peter out if kept on the burner too long, but it totally has done the opposite. You're amazing! Also, when I read, I seem to confuse 'Neive' with 'Nephy' for some odd reason, so to me it feels like you're in the story as well as telling it. That probably doesn't make any sense, but I felt compelled to share. Author's Response: Wow... HAHA Neive is me eh? Well see how she turns out and whether you still think it then. Actually I wouldn't mind at all being compared with Neive, she's a fab character and you havent seen the half yet. I am glad you are liking it an in particular I am glad that you like the boys. THey are fabulous. The chemistry is sparking and will continue to spark but when the spark ignites it really isn't going to make anything easier. I am so glad you have been enjoying the story :) Date: 08/09/2010 04:35 PM Title: Chapter 4 - A Walk In The Garden Reviewer: Quonus10 Okay, just 1-4, wow is a good word for this. I am blown away at how well you make Rown, well Rowan as you say. I truly want to reach in and smack the crap out him to make 'get it.' I know that is what you wanted and that is why it is great. It is hard to get that reaction in so short a space. Kudos. Author's Response: Thanks. I appreciate that. I hope you like the rest of the story. Thanks so much for reading and taking time to review. Date: 08/08/2010 10:13 PM Title: Chapter 25 = Rescue Reviewer: Anyta Sunday hehehe. I thought Rowan would use his abilities to get out. YAY! Maybe Neive planned it as a distraction, knowing it would come to this? hmmm, I can't wait for the next chapters. Author's Response: Neive planned something and that's for sure. :) Thanks for contiuing to read and comment Date: 08/08/2010 01:02 PM Title: Chapter 25 = Rescue Reviewer: Douw Roles eyes at Chapter End Notes: LOL You think! I'm loving it don't stop Pleas! Author's Response: Hehe. No worries. I won't stop for another 13 chapters :) Nice to see you back. Thanks for reading and revewing. So glad you're loving it. Date: 08/07/2010 02:40 PM Title: Chapter 25 = Rescue Reviewer: Caedus Niece is quite the enigma, though If she's as old as I think she is she's quite powerful as well. The boys make quite the team, I can't wait to see what happens next, though all accounts indicate it's going to be something big. :) Author's Response: Oh yeah... big bangs, big suprises, big trouble :) And as for Neive... well there are some surprises coming up about her too :) Thanks for reading and reviewing... always appreciated. Date: 08/06/2010 10:53 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Prisoners Reviewer: adamo God. They are so adorable. Typical teenagers without a plan. Rowan going all brave hero. Astrin getting all panicky. :) I can't wait to see how rowan will act no that everything is out in the happen. I wonder if that drunken kiss will ever be brought up in any way. Hope you post soon. Author's Response: They are adorable aren't they. Sometimes they can both be utterly clueless. Rowan is about to have his hands very full and won't really have time to consider what it means to have it all out in the open for a while and when he does... well... you know me :) Date: 08/02/2010 02:56 AM Title: Chapter 24 - Prisoners Reviewer: Timmy5 "Typical. No plan, no forethought, no sense at all. Typical teenagers :P " I resent that chapter end note. -glare- -pokes nephy- Author's Response: Hehe. Do you think it was't meant to provoke a reaction :) Thanks for reviewing even if only to poke me. Ouch by the way :) Date: 08/01/2010 06:10 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Prisoners Reviewer: Anyta Sunday A very satisfying chapter. I'd been hanging out for this one! hehehe. I think the end is funny too. Author's Response: Not so funny for them eh :) Neive is about to be a whole lot of help Date: 08/01/2010 02:49 PM Title: Chapter 24 - Prisoners Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! You have almost shocked me wordless! A *nice* chapter? From Nephylim? I was all set to raise hell with you for being so mean to such sweet boys. HOWEVER! I'm still noticing 'goo-goo eyes and featherlite touches. hehe! Bells. I hear bells. Thank you, Nephy! Author's Response: I can do nice !!! Okay I don't THAT often but I can. I told this is a different kind of story from my usual. There is a lot of nice. Hopefully there is even nice excitement. And hey... a lot of the previous chapters have been nice too... what about the one when they got drunk, or the one on the train? :) *hugs* Glad you are liking it and my promise holds true :) Date: 08/01/2010 12:37 PM Title: Chapter 23 - The Eve of Battle and Storming the Castle Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! Are you absolutely INSANE?? Nothing here now but *racking sobs*!!!! These are my boys we're talking about! DAMN!! How can I show internet 'tears'? Just throw them against the monitor? Thanks Nephy! I am going to hold you to that *end note*. And Nephy? I can't stop the tears. You have created a real-life situation with Astrin and Rowan. At least for me! So thank you so much! Author's Response: Why do you keep doing that? Now I have visions of a pile of soggy tissues and all because of me *sniff* (sarcasm warning) I am really glad that you are seeing my boys as three dimensional. You should keep a hold of that box of tissues as the whole story is something of a rocky road and there are a lot of... just when you thought everything was going to be alright... moments. There will be loss and suffering and... well you'll see :) Date: 07/29/2010 07:18 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo jesus! You know it would really put a damper on the story if you killed your two protagonists... Rowans reaction to astrin finding out was oddly both calming and disconcerting... cliffhangers make me nervous. Please post soon. Author's Response: Well... you know what they say about New York, New York :) :) Date: 07/29/2010 03:06 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Oh god! it would really put on a damper on the story if you killed your two protagonists... rowans reaction to astrin finding out was oddly calm and disconcerting... I hope you post soon... I don't do well with cliffhangers... Especially when catastrophic events like possible death is involved... :) Author's Response: Oh it certainly would if I killed both of them :) Rowan had completely come to terms with how he felt finally and he basically told Astrin to distract him from how nervous he was about the impending battle. He wasn't expecting anything back and I think Astrin was less against the idea than he had thought so... result. Besides they might both die soon anyway so what's the point getting worked up about that. Hehe... I will post soon. Surely you can hang on with your finger tips for a couple of days :) Date: 07/29/2010 03:02 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Okay. I got it was a change in direction. I guess it's a personal thing, then. hehe. Anyway, it was such a small nitpick. I think you've done a fantastic job. And oh my what an ending... hehehehe. Looking forward to next installment, Anyta Author's Response: The next chapter is quite exciting and revealing in so many ways. Anyway, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far :) Thanks for the comments. Date: 07/29/2010 01:47 AM Title: Chapter 23 - The Eve of Battle and Storming the Castle Reviewer: Caedus Um I guess everything is going according to plan, assuming both guys survived in good enough shape to break out, as well as reaching Lord Gabriel and King Raphael. I don't know how you do it, but once again you make me feel ambivalent reading your stories, not that isn't a bad thing ;). I'm really excited few chapters. Author's Response: Hmmm... :) I'm interested. How do you mean ambivalent? It could have so many meanings especially in this context. This story has been very much an experiment for me and it's compltely different to what I usually use. It would be helpful if you would explain. Not to put you on the spot or anything. I would be happy to hear in PM. I have to add I'm not being precious or criticising you for the comment it's just I would really like to know how people actually see this story to decide if it's worth doing something like this again :) Date: 07/28/2010 06:37 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Nephylim Hmmm... actually I went back and decided not to take it out. There is a change of direction in that sentence. Neive is being intense and serious and saying now is the time to think about the premonition and then she changes tone completely. Imagine her taking a breath and smiling. The 'anyway' I think makes the break. Without it the 'do you have the key' would be said in the same heavy tone instead of being lighter as intended. I hope that makes sense. Date: 07/28/2010 04:32 PM Title: Chapter 23 - The Eve of Battle and Storming the Castle Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ahhhh, goodness, a new chapter better come up soon. lol. That was brilliant. The only line in the whole thing that wasn't 100% for me was: “Then I believe it is time to think about it now. Anyway, do you have the key?” I felt the 'anyway' jarred. Just taking this out and having 'Do you have the kay?' IMHO would be ace. I loved this. I'm hanging out for more. Author's Response: It's one of my many faults. I tend to say 'anyway' and 'awesome' a lot in my speech so they get written into the stories too :)/ Anyway... I'll go take it out ;) Date: 07/28/2010 04:18 PM Title: Chapter 22 - The City On The Hill Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! Your discriptions of the city of Agavi were so clear! So---discriptive! I felt as if I was walking with them. And now we are slithering our way into --!! WAIT!! They DID make eyes at each other! Awwww...they are SO meant to be *forever*! Thanks Nephy! I am so excited with where you are taking this story! Author's Response: I am glad you like Agavi. The way I see it is so clear but you really have to smell it :) I think that Rowan is sure now. I'm not sure that he knows that he's in love with Astrin but he certainly knows he has feelings for him. Astrin on the other hand is clueless. He has kind of an idea that Rowan 'likes' him but he has no such feelings in return. In fact the whole thing makes him very uncomfortable and he's pushing it all out of his mind at the moment. I think that's sensible actually. THey are in a very dangerous situation at the moment and they really don't need distractions. Although.... :) And I haven't forgotten my promise IF there are wedding bells you get to ring them :P Date: 07/24/2010 07:03 PM Title: Chapter 22 - The City On The Hill Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Riveted. Can't wait for more. How far through is the story at this point? Author's Response: There are 37 chapers altogether so we are a little over half way. There is SO much more to come... for better or worse. Glad you are enjoying it. *hugs* Date: 07/24/2010 02:48 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I've caught up on all the chapters now! Great stuff, I am more than hooked and just can't wait for more. I love the tension and suspense, you work well with this. I have a suspicion where things may be heading, and I'm curious to see whether some of that will happen. Awesome, awesome stuff! Author's Response: WOW. Thank you. I am really pleased you like it. Where am I going to take it? All over the place. It's not even over when it seems to be over. :) Date: 07/23/2010 03:08 PM Title: Chapter 15 - A Night to Remember Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ohhhhh, this is hot, and sweet. :) I think you're doing a fantastic job with suspense and sexual tension! Nice. Author's Response: Awesome. I'm really glad you liked this bit , it was so so fun to write. I hope you like the rest of it. It goes in loads of different directions. Date: 07/21/2010 05:12 AM Title: Chapter 12 - The Journey Begins Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I think you've done a great job with tension in th is chapter. It was a good move to make Astrin remember how horrible Rowan was to him. Emotional. Great work. Author's Response: It had to happen hun :) Thanks for sticking with me :) Date: 07/21/2010 02:59 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Preparations Reviewer: Anyta Sunday This just keeps getting better. I'm so hooked. Author's Response: I'm glad you think so hun. It's such a rush when someone likes my work Date: 07/21/2010 02:27 AM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: Hamen Cheese I like Rowan's new powers. I've always liked Earth magic. Will he be able to make warriors out of stone soon? :D Author's Response: Unofrtunately although he has the power to create the warriors he wouldn't be able to make them live so it'skind of pointless. :) Glad you're sticking with it and liking it. Date: 07/20/2010 05:09 AM Title: Chapter 19 - Port Home Reviewer: Hamen Cheese Gotta love indecision... as long as it always ends well anyway. :P Author's Response: Well it doesn't always end well. In my stories you just never know:) Date: 07/20/2010 04:54 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Dreams and Plans Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ohhhh, thrilling. hehehe. Author's Response: Thank you :). The adventure has just begun. Date: 07/20/2010 03:31 AM Title: Chapter 9 - The Prince Returns Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I just loved this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far. It was so hot when Astrin moved really fast and poor Rowan was stupified. hehe. Great fun! Author's Response: Thank you. This whole story was great fun for me to write. I'm glad readers are seeing that way too. THere is, of course drama to come, it wouldn't be me if there wasnt but it's kind of gentle compared to my usual.Thanks for reading and commenting Date: 07/20/2010 03:12 AM Title: Chapter 8 Shocks and Memories Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ohhh, this is clever stuff. I like how Astrin is evolving. :) Author's Response: Thank you. :) I like Astrin a lot. He's a savvy guy but sweet and lovely too. Just how I like them :) Date: 07/16/2010 02:34 PM Title: Chapter 21- On The Train Reviewer: phana14 Another softly woven chapter along one of life's many paths. pssshh! If nothing else Nephy, at the very least I got a voice message from God. And He said, "That Nephy sure does like to keep you guys on the ropes, huh?" And then, noticing that I was quite beside myself, He leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially "I'll have a go at Neph and see if I can convince her to let YOU ring the church bells when the proper moment arrives." And so it shall come to pass--I hope. :) Thanks, Nephylim Author's Response: Tell you what... if there are any church bells to ring you can ring them. Can't do fairer than that :) Date: 07/15/2010 03:43 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Playing Games Reviewer: Anyta Sunday I enjoyed this chapter too. I liked Rowan's internal conflict, and his slow realization how much he likes Astrin. :) Author's Response: I don't know why but my previous response didn't show. i wanted to say thank you and that I have changed the part you highlighted in the shower. Glad you are still reading and enjoying. Date: 07/15/2010 04:45 AM Title: Chapter 6 - A Second Chance Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Hello. I enjoyed this chapter, it's nice to see Rowan softening. There was one part of Astrin's dialogue I noticed that didn't seem to fit with his character. He says 'whatever'--to who Ragnor was. I think this would be better replaced by the word 'Right.' (but perhaps you have your reasons. :) ) Also, Rowan rests his cheek on Astrin's head when he first hops into the shower, but then a couple of paras later Rowan is thinking about how Astrin's even a bit taller than him. It seemed a bit inconsistent to me. It's a tiny detail though. :) Overall I REALLY enjoyed myself and look forward to reading more. Author's Response: Date: 07/14/2010 10:17 AM Title: Chapter 5 - The Dream Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Nice scene. Shows character development. :) Of course I'll keep reading, btw (refering to your earlier comment). :D It was merely a suggestion. I look forward to seeing what you've done with this. Cool stuff. Author's Response: All suggestions are gratefully accepted, fully appreciated and duly considered. As I said it was an interesting idea but just didn't fit in with my vision and how the rest of the story pans out. I think it is the heighest compliment a writer can have that a reader has not only read but actually thought about the story, enough to make a suggestion or observation. Thanks. Date: 07/13/2010 04:16 AM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: Riley Jericho There's a camel?! How come you get a camel? Damn - I want a camel now! Riley Author's Response: If you want a camel, have a camel. The problem is that I can't really see Luke and Ryan, Simon and Toby riding around on camels. Maybe they can go on holiday to Egypt or something. Actually i could see Olly on a camel. There are camels and bedhouins and silk pillows and... fun Date: 07/12/2010 04:00 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: Riley Jericho Demon drink! Send me a bottle!! Great chapter Neph - the story is filling out nicely. Riley Author's Response: Yeah... I'd kind of like a bottle of that myself... but I couldn't drink it if I had it :( And being drunk with those two around would just be too dangerous. Thanks for the reveiws. I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. Date: 07/11/2010 12:36 PM Title: Chapter 18- Learning About Yourselves Reviewer: Riley Jericho Emotions! Damn, they can be such a problem! Riley Author's Response: Tell me about it :) But what would we do without them? Date: 07/11/2010 12:31 PM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: phana14 oh dear, indeed! You aren't fooling me at all Nephy. I'll grant you had me worried about this chapter and what it held for our two *friends*, but now I KNOW that the spiritual and physical connections, albeit weak, ARE there and it is only a matter of time (chapter(s)) until I can smile again. I'm sure you've heard the expression "A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts", yes? Well add this! A kiss is a kiss is a kiss! P And Astrin thinks that Rowan is *pretty*? Come on, Nephy! I wanna go to a wedding! Author's Response: Wedding eh ;) Well I woulndn't hold you breath but... you never know. There are what 16? chapters left and a lot can happen in that amount of writing. In face a lot does happen :) There are tears and scares, a battle, monsters in the dark... oh and a camel. But for now there's a 9 hour train journey and that;s more than enough to occupy their minds. Date: 07/10/2010 01:20 PM Title: Chapter 4 - A Walk In The Garden Reviewer: Anyta Sunday When you get into Rowan's head I feel this story takes on a extra level of specialness. (It's special as a whole too, but, IMO it feels richer when we're in Rowan's head.) I wonder, have you ever considered writing one chapter entirely from one perspective? This could do wonders for the reader to really feel like they are living inside the character more. Some chapters could be all filtered through Rowan's eyes, and others through Astrin's. Personally, I don't think it would mean changing much at all, for example--when Melissa has thoughts about the boys this would go BUT Rowan could interpret all the same information Melissa in effect gives us, and say it in his way. Like: He knew his sister so well, could guess just what that expression meant. She was pissed at him, and sympathetic toward, toward that arse. (Really using his voice, you know?) This was ONLY a suggestion. I really like what you've done, and in terms of STORY, I'm impressed with how you maintain a thick layer of tension. Spectacular stuff, Anyta Author's Response: Thank you. It would certainly be an idea to change POV's but I have tried that in other stories... for example To Have and To Hold is alternating chapters of the two lead characters POV's and it worked for that story but I don't thnk it would work for this one and i hope that you will see why as the story develops. The story as a whole goes in a completely differnet direction than the first few chapters might suggest and it roves all over their world an their experiences. I think if I limited any section of it to one person's point of view it would ultimately wind up either confusing or clumsy. I am blown away though that you would take the time to think about alternatives like this and even how they would work, This is exactly the kind of review that I love to have, thought provoking as well as ego stroking. I hope that the tension remains for you although I think it genesis changes as matters progress. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Date: 07/10/2010 12:10 PM Title: Chapter 3 - Astrin Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Rowan is mean to Astrin, BUT getting into his head was great, because I know that Rowan's torn up by what he's doing with Astrin. Astrin seems like a sweet guy--and btw green eyes are great! :) Author's Response: Yes... green eyes are the best :) Rowan is going to hugely regret what he's been doing for oh so many reasons :) Thanks for reading. And thanks doubly for the review. Date: 07/10/2010 09:46 AM Title: Chapter 20 - Drunk and Disorderly Reviewer: Caedus It's always a careful and delicate dance between those two. I'm glad that Rowan's starting to see his feelings for Astrin for what they are, they were even able to stay on good terms this time!! Anyways, this will make Rowans interactions with Astrin more guarded, which will increase the tension. I like the addition of elemental abilities, though vibration could correspond with other elements as well. This journey gets more interesting with chapter :). Author's Response: Date: 07/10/2010 09:16 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Lessons Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Rowan is a meanie. But I understand he suffers and that's sad. :( I'm curious to know how Astrin and Rowan's first meeting will be. You have some excellent tension here. Great stuff! Until next chapter, Anyta Author's Response: Thank you. I apprecaite all reviews but especially from authors I respect and your writing is very fine. I am enjoying your story very much You have a light touch even when writing tension. Date: 07/10/2010 02:08 AM Title: Chapter 19 - Port Home Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, The BIG question that I have is; (...a night with each other.) as friends, or hopefully, :) ? Thanks! Author's Response: Or neither. There is a thin line between friends and lovers sometimes and it's not always as simple as saying you have to be on one side or the other. It's easy to tightrope along the line slipping to one side or the other. There's a long tightrope to walk before they're both on the same side and I'm not promising which side that is going to be. And of course this is me so even when they pick a side it isn't going to be as easy as that. You're so welcome. Thank you for your reivew. Date: 07/08/2010 03:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Interesting stuf. I love how we learn so much about Astrin through what other people say. Plus, I'm a fan of the hate each other at first and then slowly something develops. It keeps the tension high. Really cool. :) Author's Response: Thank you. I think there is a lot of high tension in this. It's not like my usual ones where there are sudden explosions of extreme tension and then dealing with the aftermath. It's far more even keeled but contantly a little strained... and the strain increases as they venture deeper into enemy territory. I am glad you are liking it so far. i am loving your story too :) Mutual appreciaion is never a bad thing. Date: 07/08/2010 02:31 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Riley Jericho Nice bit of knife action! Good chapter Neph! Author's Response: Nothing like a knife in the ribs to bring a bit of lightness to a chapter...and to remind everyone that neither Rowan nor Astrin are wimps. Date: 07/01/2010 09:12 AM Title: Chapter 18- Learning About Yourselves Reviewer: Hamen Cheese With all this tension, you better make their kiss scene worth the wait! Haha. Author's Response: Ummmmm. You have more waiting to do and more tension but when we get to where we're going to go I think it will be worth it :) Date: 07/01/2010 12:53 AM Title: Chapter 18- Learning About Yourselves Reviewer: Caedus Well that ending was kinda awkward..but still a good chapter! I'm pretty sure Rowan/Astrin blurred the unspoken invisible line yet again, so things are going to be weird for awhile. But I'm still having fun reading about this journey so it's all good...I hope. Author's Response: Well, not all good but then it wouldn't be a story of mine if it was. But it's a very gentle bad... for me ;) Thanks for the review again hun. You're a darling. Date: 06/29/2010 08:24 PM Title: Chapter 18- Learning About Yourselves Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! I'm not going to be an old goat just pissin' and moanin' here, because however this story goes, I know that in the end I'm still going to love Nephy's stories! But I really REALLY thought that Astrin and Rowan were about to "fall in" to each other. I'll wait. I have to! And within the next few chapters maybe we'll even hear the *L* word. Gods! I hope so! Nephy, it doesn't seem right that someone can be SO good at telling stories. I so much envy your relatives and friends. So! Off we go to the next Nephylim tale! Author's Response: Hun, you are awesome :) I have been a storyteller as long as I can remember. When I was a child and my neice came to stay (she's only 2 years younger than me) I made up a whole world about a ghost who lived in a painting hanging on the wall of the bedroom that she was scared of. I was storytelling even then. When I did re enactment I was the storyteller, although it was all oral. I tell stories to my children and hey... I'm a lawyer ;) So yeah, one way or another my entire life has been about stories in one way or another. It's not what I do it's what I am. And I am so privileged to finally be in a position where I can share them with people, especially people like yourselves who are so appreciative of them. As for Astrin and Rowan... what can I say... they're idiots. Don't wait for the 'L' word any time soon :) Date: 06/29/2010 06:28 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Hamen Cheese Can't wait to learn more about what they will do. :) Author's Response: Oh you will, you will :) Date: 06/27/2010 07:26 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Azarael conspiracy ;D Author's Response: A lot more than that :) Date: 06/25/2010 11:30 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim, This story has become such a breath of fresh air, (a respite, if you will), from most of your *darker* stories. Although you cover yourself very well in even the darkest of these--LIC--by inserting such intense love, and feelings of love, between the characters, I am most enjoying this one! Just two boys out on a mildly sci-fi-ish (?) adventure. Right? Yeah, right! Actually, this story is paced perfectly, Neph. Thanks. Author's Response: None of my stories are 'mildly' anything, although you are right that this one is a lot more gentle than some of my others, particularly LIC. No huge dramatic events or twisted activities. Just... a journey Thank you for sticking with my stories even when they haven't been your cup of tea. And thank you for your reviews which always make me smile. Date: 06/25/2010 04:11 AM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Caedus Very nice. The best part for me was Rowan's manifested powers. Your notes fit into the aunts dark warning. Perhaps the boys paths are only parallel and will get split? Also fun to see the dysnamics between the four houses at play, even if they were less than pleasant. Date: 06/24/2010 05:08 PM Title: Chapter 17 - Friendly And Not So Friendly Faces. Reviewer: Caedus Very nice. The best part for me was Rowan's manifested powers. Your notes fit into the aunts dark warning. Perhaps the boys paths are only parallel and will get split? Also fun to see the dysnamics between the four houses at play, even if they were less than pleasant. Author's Response: House Uriel is a bit part player in this but the other three houses I think get fairly well defined during the course of the story. Rowan and Astrin embody a lot of the 'flavour' of their respective Houses and the interplay between the two reflect the way their Houses fit together. House Michael is another matter and we will soon be getting a very good flavour of what that house is like, for its rulers and its people, as well as journey through its landscape. There will be a lot more about the boys' abilities... what they are, how they work and what the limitations are, as they manifest and as Astrin explains what he can and learns new appliacations and developments in his own and Rowan's abilites. Nothing is simple though and things keep getting in the way... majorly Rowan'spassion and Astrin's ambiguity. There have been times throught the story when I have just wanted to shake both of them. Date: 06/24/2010 05:08 PM Title: Chapter 15 - A Night to Remember Reviewer: Hamen Cheese Aww, touching. :) Author's Response: I like touching :) Thank you very much :) Date: 06/18/2010 06:04 AM Title: Chapter 15 - A Night to Remember Reviewer: Azarael i loved it ;) Author's Response: I'm glad :) Date: 06/17/2010 02:19 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Caedus Good Chapter, Nephy. I'll admit I was a little annoyed by the lack of details about what happened after Astrin healed Rowan (is that an american thing?), but it just makes me more curious about Astrin's abilities. This is definitely getting interesting. Author's Response: Oh there will be more don't worry. The abilities of both of them will develop and become more clear as the story progresses. Not only what they are but how they work. You'll find out a little more about what happened with Rowan and Astrin in the next chapter.. don't be too impatient. But thanks for the review anyway :P Date: 06/17/2010 10:53 AM Title: Chapter 14 - Getting to Know You Reviewer: Riley Jericho Tastes and smells and subtle feelings! Great depth and colour in this one Neph. As always - thanks for writing. Riley J Author's Response: Thanks hun As always a pleasure to hear from you. Next one's an interesting one. ;) Date: 06/15/2010 01:49 AM Title: Chapter 14 - Getting to Know You Reviewer: Wyndham Nephy you are doing a really good job with this story. I love the way you are taking time to let the characters develop. Author's Response: Thank you hun. It does unfold more slowly than a lot of my other ones. It's 37 chapters long so I suppose it has time to. It heats up quite a bit in the next chapter though. After that it meanders on a fabulous journey. I am so excited about this one and impatient for everyone to get to see what I know is coming. I don't want to post too quickly or it will spoil it. This story is very much about the journey. Date: 06/12/2010 03:45 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Hamen Cheese I like the part when the "gifts" came in. I guess I have a bias for that. :-P It was unexpected haha. I more or less thought it was a modern version of medieval warfare. Keep on writing! (This is the part I hate about reading unfinished stories... the wait for the next chapter. It can be torture >.<) Author's Response: Oh there's more about the 'gifts' a lot lot more. :) This story is a mix of past present and future in a society that is basically modern but with better technology and touches of the medieval with 'gifts' :) Don't worry about the story not getting posted. It's all competely written at over 30 chapters so it's not going to fizzle out :) THanks for your reivew they are always appreciated Date: 06/11/2010 07:27 AM Title: Chapter 13 - An Uncomfortable Night Reviewer: phana14 Oh! You mean and wicked woman! Can't they PLEASE get to know each other just a little bit "better"? Pleeease? A beautiful chapter, Nephy! "You keep me hanging on". Author's Response: I am a mean and wicked woman... and I love it :) They are going on a long long journey. They are bound to get to know each other better. :) Thanks for your reveiw and your kind comments. Another chapter very soon Date: 06/10/2010 09:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael jealous huh... Author's Response: Oooohhhh yeah. Of course you are not going to wonder why because it's obvious where this journey is going to end.... but it's all about the ride :) Date: 06/09/2010 07:07 PM Title: Chapter 12 - The Journey Begins Reviewer: Riley Jericho Journeys are the best! Anything can happen and, knowing you Neph, it probably will. Looking forward to what will come next. Astrin doesn't want help now .... It will be interesting to see the time when it's Rowan that needs help. Riley Author's Response: I think you may be wrong about Astrin... oh and you won't have to wait to long for Rowan. This is very much a story of people learning to rely on and to help each other. After all... they are journeying into the jaws of the beast with no one else to rely on. Date: 06/05/2010 11:05 AM Title: Chapter 12 - The Journey Begins Reviewer: phana14 Hey Nephy. I'm still along for the ride--and the scenery is still gorgeous! Thanks. Author's Response: Thanks hun. Personally I think that things kind of kick off from here. The next couple of chapters really set the scene for what are going to be a couple of the themes of the story. Hold on to your hat because before the end of this story the boys are going to have travelled hundreds of miles, both physically and emotionally Date: 06/05/2010 05:48 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Preparations Reviewer: Wyndham Hi Nephy. Sorry I've not posted many reviews recently. Life has been a bit tough. I am enjoying this lovely gentle story. Just what I need at the moment. Author's Response: You can feel safe with this one hun. There are moments of high emotion and moments of adventure but it is a whole lot gentler than my usual. It is more of an epic journey on a number of different levels that the usual explosions. Date: 05/31/2010 06:26 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Dreams and Plans Reviewer: Riley Jericho It's really fun when you bring in the unexpected - like the unusual giftings of Astrin. It allows for a great deal more. But I also like the natural humanity between them, unhampered by the knd of emotions and interaction that wouldn't ring true at this point in the story. I think a good story has to stay beleivable in it's own context - then it becomes a great story! Riley Author's Response: Aww... you say the nicest things. I like to think that I keep things real even when they become totally surreal. People come to terms with things at different speeds and in different ways. Astrin and Rowan have a very long way to go literally and figuratively. On the journey we will find out a lot more about their world... and believe me there is a lot more to find out... and also discover a lot about them as they discover themselves and each other. I so love this story and I really hope that you will too. This is not like my other stories... although there is action and drama it is so much more gentle and everything unfolds kind of naturally... yeah I think a good way to describe this story is .. organic. :) Date: 05/26/2010 03:30 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Dreams and Plans Reviewer: Caedus The way things are developing you may want to consider adding some info on The various Houses and bios on the main characters. Is Rowan going to develop any latent skills at some point? Nice to read about the two Princes on good terms but I'm waiting with bated breath for when-if ever- you decide to restore Astrins memories. Enjoying the story so far. :) Author's Response: There will be more information about the Houses but it comes out bit by bit. There is an explaination given for a lot of it by Astrin later. I think if I give too much information all at once it will spoil the flow of the story. We're concentrating just on the relationship between the two characters at the moment. As they start exploring the world you will find out more about it, politics and all, I promis. I hope you bear with me. It's all there. I'm really glad you are enjoying the story. It's only just warming up Date: 05/25/2010 10:17 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Dreams and Plans Reviewer: Azarael let me guess,Astrin's a telepath thats what his house is famous for. Author's Response: Not exactly :) Glad you're still reading and reviewing. Hope you're enjoying the story Date: 05/25/2010 12:56 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael Next chapter plx :D Author's Response: Soon... have patience. They are all there... waiting... chapter after chapter... taking you on a journey of epic proportions, over seas, into battle, over desertes... even on a train :) Just have patience and all with come in good time :) Date: 05/23/2010 08:36 AM Title: Chapter 8 Shocks and Memories Reviewer: Riley Jericho Call me weird, but the best sentance..."And yet." Amazing what depth you can get out of two simple words! And will the real Astrid please stand? This is the problem...I liked the cute helpless one, so how am I going to do with the one who has discovered how to speak calmly and coldly. It's a dilemma! Riley Author's Response: Oh there'll always be that sense of cute helplessness about him, but he's so much more than that... so much more :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. It always means a lot when authors I respect review my work Date: 05/21/2010 06:18 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Matthew Shuffle I've only read one chapter so far and I gotta say I love how the story's going. I really like the setting, its different lol Author's Response: Thank you. It's kind of you to comment. I am liking what I read of your stories too. Mutual appreciation is never a bad thing :) I hope you like the direction the story goes in. Date: 05/21/2010 04:41 AM Title: Chapter 8 Shocks and Memories Reviewer: Caedus So the tables have finally turned. Now that Astrin has thrown off his conditioning I wonder what Rowan can do if any to get him to co-operate. You almost made me feel bad for Rowan considering how he's starting to really like Astrin. Still pissed-off Astrin seems like way more fun. =) I don't get why they even "conditioned" him in the first place. They could of assured his security without pumping drugs in his bloodstream and f******* with his mind. Author's Response: You'll find out soon why they actually couldn't have done that. Let's just say that Astrin has some 'special' abilities that make anything short of what they did far too risky Thanks for reading and commenting and I'm really glad you like the story so far. it's about to get a lot more interesting. Date: 05/20/2010 06:09 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael Loved it..omg Astrin's now pissed Author's Response: You wait and see how pissed he is :) We will very soon be finding out why Ragnor was so afraid of Astrin throwing the conditioning. Let's just say he's not best pleased and takes it out on Rowan. Date: 05/20/2010 04:44 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Playing Games Reviewer: Riley Jericho I'm getting behind again! You know, it reminds me of the old SciFi series 'Dune'. It's just such a rich tapestry that can include oaken panels, chadeliers and four poster beds alongside state of the art computer hardware. And on top of that two people that have yet to face the truth. Beats Eastenders any day! Riley Author's Response: Hey cool :) Wicked comparison. I love Dune. And hey!!! Just about anything beats Eastenders. Thanks for the review and for liking this. Date: 05/17/2010 02:53 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael Chapter seven made the story a bit more interesting..and makes the reader think of the possible outcomes of this so called ''friendship''..hurt..anger. Author's Response: I you think that makes the story more intersting... hold on to your hat :) Thanks again for reading and reviewing. (and if you're wondering... yeah I do keep checking in to see if anyone have reviewed... sad isn't it) :P Date: 05/17/2010 12:57 PM Title: Chapter 6 - A Second Chance Reviewer: Kanaye Oh, I like this. Looking foward to more. Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you like it. More to come shortly Date: 05/16/2010 11:15 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael ********** ^^ Author's Response: Date: 05/16/2010 01:34 PM Title: Chapter 5 - The Dream Reviewer: Riley Jericho That was a great chapter Neph. The inference of physical pain born by Astrin as part of his conditioning was rending. And the connection between the two boys is intruiging. I was never sure whether Ragnor was a goody or a baddy. It seems the former - hopefully, time wil tell. Riley Author's Response: Indeed it will. I think the next chapter is going to be a bit of a shocker and after that the action starts speeding up.... :) Thanks so much for your reviews. I enjoy them immensely :) Date: 05/15/2010 11:19 AM Title: Chapter 4 - A Walk In The Garden Reviewer: Riley Jericho Neph - how do you do it? I can't keep pace with your writing as you manage to pull chapters out of the bag without even blinking. As soon as I start looking at one, there;s another out! It's going great so far. I like the irritation of Rowan that has long term beliefs underpinning it, but I want him to get rocked out of that soon. Astrin is another example of the beauty that you effortlessly create in your characters!. Riley Author's Response: I have had my fingers burned too many times posting chapters before I finish the story. Hubble Bubble died completely and Weeping Lily is just limping along with crutches. I now don't even start posting until the whole thing is finished so I can post chapters as little or often as I wish. I am rushing through Hostage because I don't think the beginning is really it's greatest strength although it sets the scene that carries through the whole thing. So I'm churning them out before I slow down in a chapter or two. After that I am going to make you wait longer while I alternate with the last few chapters of Enigma. SO make the most of it. Rowan is a bit of a prick in the early chapters and he still has a tendency to be hot headed and prickish throughout... but he does get better... kind of :) Astrin is not as sweet as he appears either :) Date: 05/15/2010 11:08 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael Will the enemy prince remember his past..Will Rowan confess..Dun dun dun.. Author's Response: Now those are some questions :) Keep reading and you will find out :) And you also have to consider... who's the enemy? Thanks for your reviews. Much appreciated. Date: 05/15/2010 09:45 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Caedus Neph, I'm having fun reading about the oh so slowly changing interaction with Rowan and Astrin, but are you going to give more details on Astrin's memory suppression treatment? The physical side effects make me so curious!! But I know you wrote earlier in some of your comments that you were going in a bit of a different direction with this story, but one of the things I've started really appreciate in your writing how dark and disturbing it can get, in fact I've been waiting for the anvil to drop with this story so far. Should I expect that? If not, thats perfectly fine since this curiously mixed world of feudal monarchies and Futuristic tech has me hooked! Then again such a mix offers oh so many unique options for so many types torture. Keep going! =) Author's Response: Tee hee. I'm glad that someone appreciates my dark and twisted nature. Unfortunately it seems that they are too much for some people so I have tried to be less dark in this one. Of course I just can't help myself sometimes so yes, there will be darkness but only in small bursts. More about Astrin's condition coming soon and, don't worry it's not very nice :) Date: 05/14/2010 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 4 - A Walk In The Garden Reviewer: Wyndham I'm really enjoying this story Nephy. Rowan seems to be slowly cracking. Author's Response: Maybe :) I'm really glad you are enjoying it. It's a real experiement for me so I'm really looking for feedback and there was way too much repetition of really in that sentence. THanks for the review. Date: 05/14/2010 12:04 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Nephy...quite wonderfully different from your other stories. Can't wait to see how you bring the darkness in, and then work it through. Lovely. Author's Response: Who says there is going to be any darkness *polishes halo* :) This IS very different to any of my other stories and takes things in a compltely different direction. In many ways it is much gentler and it's a real journey. It was for me in the writing :) Date: 05/14/2010 05:35 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Caedus You are creating quite an immersive world so far, you have me hooked already! I can't wait to read about all the many different ways you are going to rock these young princes world. I wonder what stupid things Rowan will do before gets past his hatred, also whether theirs more to his parents deaths beneath the surface...? I'm really going to enjoy reading this. =) Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you do. Rowan is very stupid at the moment and he gets worse before he gets better. There really is a rollicking good adventure before these two and their world is rocked, ripped apart, changed, put back together in a compltely different way. They get thrown in prison, lost in the desert, run for their lives... and other people's. Yeah... there's a lot in there. THanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you are not disappointed about the rest of the story :) Date: 05/12/2010 03:08 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Lessons Reviewer: Azarael Damn cant wait to read Chap 3..The waiting is killing me.:) Author's Response: I'm sure you'll survive. I'm glad you're liking the story. Chapter 3 up soon. Thanks for reviewing *hugs* Date: 05/12/2010 02:28 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Riley Jericho Yep, Neph, you're going to get me hooked again aren't you! Completely different scene, but I like the sense of this mixture of 'middle ages' kingdoms and knights, set into a future that has stasis pods and something that even reminds me of "Against The Machine" style coma conditioning! Great start. Riley Author's Response: Thank you. Been writing this for a while and I panicked slightly because not only are there sort of kind of elements of Against the Machine but there are also more significant resemblances to Tiger's story to. I sent the first few chapters to him to make sure he was cool with it but I didn't think the reference to the pods would have been that noticable. Clearly it was *blush* The first few chapters are kind of misleading because the story doesn't take off until after that so I am posting them in more of a hurry than the rest. New one about to go up. I really hope that it does get people hooked because I totally totally love it. I may even edge out Enigma as my favourite. Thanks for taking time to read and review hun. Hope the red wine got you nice and chilled. Date: 05/12/2010 10:27 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Azarael That was such a good chapter/story,I was captivated by it.Please keep writing on a daily basis. Author's Response: Don't worry, it's all written. It's just a matter of posting. I have learned my lesson and I don't start posting now until the story is completed. :) Thank you for reviewing and I am really glad that you liked the first chapter. I happen to really like this story :) Date: 05/11/2010 01:30 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham A very nice start. No beatings, no blood, no torture, quite strange really....... *grin* Loved it! Author's Response: It's hard to remember but I don't think there is any of that in the whole story I KNOW... pick yourself up off the floor :) Thanks for the review and for dipping your toe in the new puddle Date: 05/10/2010 07:42 PM

Title: Chapter 33 Reviewer: noni2674 I love your stories. The depth of pain suffered by your characters is not removed but somewhat healed. I like that you don't have "Scooby doo" endings. I really like the building of characters through their pain. Thank you for your creativity and exemplary stories. Author's Response: You're very welcome Thank you for your comment. I happen to think that people's true character and feelings come out in adversity so my characters always suffer somewhat I'm glad you are enjoying my stories Date: 11/03/2010 10:23 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Ara There isnt much I can say here that I didnt say in the forums except thanks Nephy. That really was a ride and a half and its poetic that the boys come full circle just as the story did. Lucs death was tragic but came with meaning which I think added to the emotion. Jayden and Cal got the ending we all hoped for but where left guessing until the end over whether they would or not and the curtain closes on another epic. You certainly know how to tell a gripping tale, keep us hooked and to do what it all boils down to and that is entertain. Of course now that its finished I get to go read it in its entirety now and pick up on the little bits I missed 1st time round so im happy for the next 3 hours Author's Response: Haha... I hope you dont pick up on any huge errors made in the long gaps when I was distracted. Thanks hun for all your support. I hope you like the next one too... it's a little strange. Date: 10/25/2010 12:28 PM Title: Chapter 33 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Have enjoyed this tremendously ... darkness and all. There is so much hope in your stories. You don't shy away from the darkness that exists in life and yet, there's always more. Thank you. Author's Response: You're welcome hun. Thank you for your continued support. I hope you will continue to find hope in my stories. Date: 10/25/2010 07:45 AM Title: Chapter 33 Reviewer: phana14 I know that other people have said this before me Nephy, but I wish that I could give you a *billion* stars for this story (more particularly this chapter)! So Luc was laid to rest 'neath an old oak tree. So cool! And the line--"I would never tell the boys but there were times when I had to force myself to go on". I hope that wasn't you talking to those of us pestering you! Please say "No." As for the song that Jayden sang to Cal; I just went back and read it again! So beautiful!! As we come to the end of "Weeping Lily", I want you, Nephylim, to know how much you have added to my life! A Lot! Hugs! And a billion more to follow! Author's Response: Your reviews are so sweet. They always bring a smile and sometimes a tear to my eye. You have no idea how much they are appreciated. No, there is never a time when I have to force myself to go on. It comes as it comes. If I don't feel like writing then I don't write. I never force myself and, at least until now, i have never had to. Writing is like eating and sleeping to me, in fact I know i write more than I eat and probably more than I sleep too. I am sad that this story has come to an end but pleased with the way it came to an end. Ready for something new now Date: 10/24/2010 04:53 PM Title: Chapter 33 Reviewer: Agaith That was an amazing last chapter Nephy, incredibly moving, beautiful and heartfelt. I won't try to say anything else because it won't do it justice. Thank you for such a wonderful story Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it. It was the end of an era and I hope it did the whole story justice and brought it full circle. It started with them coming off stage and it ended with them just finishing up on stage I'm happy with it. Date: 10/24/2010 03:23 PM Title: Chapter 33 Reviewer: Jabberjaw BRAVO! Again, as with most of your stories, I am sad to see it end. However I know it is only opening up a new story and I so look forward to it. You are the absolute best. Author's Response: Oh WOW, thank you. Yes, there are more in the pipeline and they are very different so I hope you like them. Thanks for reading and for your comment. Date: 10/24/2010 02:52 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: CAJ Great story. LOOVVEED it. Keep up the good work!! Author's Response: Thank you. It was kind of you to leave a comment. i appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. This was quite a journey for me in many ways and I'm quite sad it's over. Oh well... on to the next thing. Who know it might even be better. Date: 10/24/2010 02:15 PM Title: Chapter 32 Reviewer: phana14 First I want to thank you for the detailed description of how Luc met his end. While I certainly understand why he would push Jayden out of harms way, I never would have expected him to use his own body to protect Cal. So, Luc was a good guy after all. Actually, what I SHOULD have thanked you for first is for allowing Jayden and Cal both to live. I don't believe that I mentioned this before, but I was pretty sure that you were going to take Jayden out at the end of the story. I'm SO glad that you haven't--yet. With only one more chapter to go I feel as if I am returning from a long and glorious vacation and will now have to go back to the drudge of everyday life. That sucks! Anyhow , Nephy, you have done well!! hugs! Author's Response: Thank you I think you will like the last chapter. It's been a long journey for Cal and Jayden and it just wouldn't be right if I didn't see them to the end of it. I have two awesome stories waiting in the wings and I wasn't going to post them until the new efiction software was up and running. I don't know. I have a short story that's going up especially for Christmas so plenty to look forward to anyway. Thank you so much for making Hostage and Weeping Lily such fun stories to post and i hope we have as much fun on the next one It's been a blast. Date: 10/24/2010 09:39 AM Title: Chapter 31 Reviewer: Douw Liver or lung stab... hmmmm will make it to hospital i hope.... Still on the edge of my seat haha you like keeping me here no... Author's Response: Nope, straight up between the ribs, through the lung and into the heart. Sorry Deader than a dead thing Glad you're on the edge of your seat. Don't worry you will be able to sit back and relax after the next one. Date: 10/20/2010 03:50 AM Title: Chapter 31 Reviewer: phana14 O.M.G.!! was most certainly THE way to introduce THIS chapter!! Holy Crap!! Well yeah, there was a rescue attempt, but who the HELL got the 'knife? Ashton: still helping. Neighbor Man: still helping. Cal: still screaming. Leaves three: Jayden--Luc--Jeff. Of these three I would want it to be Luc. But the bitch's twisted mind just may have focused on Jeff for keeping the band together! Arrrrrghhhhhhh!! NEPHYLIM!!!! You--you.....for shit's SAKE! (evil wicked mean and nasty)p And have I said "I HATE YOU" lately?? Author's Response: You forgot Rik And it can't be Jeff because Jeff tied up Kelly. Really, you are going to have to pay more attention I'm glad that I can still shock you even though you know me so well by now Don't worry, this is absolutely the low point. Things get better from here... I promise. Date: 10/19/2010 02:49 PM Title: Chapter 30 Reviewer: Douw Eeeeeek!!! I'm on the edge of my seat! Way to go Dark one loving the suspense;~} Author's Response: Thank you You won't have to perch for long. Another chapter will be up tonight and hopefully the last 1 or 2 before the end of the week Glad you are still enjoying the story. Date: 10/18/2010 05:13 PM Title: Chapter 30 Reviewer: phana14 Nephylim! You have beaten Alfred Hitchcock (sp) whatever!! at his own game! There are more twists and supposed angles and plot continuations in this one chapter than I can recall EVER! The crazy sister-you know-has to come out of this story in a 'basket'. Anya, as it turns out (so far?), has to make a break from that loony she has for a sister! Jesus! And now I'm hearing loud noises from the ground floor? HEH! Is it even possible that **CAL**, the person who would give up his very existence to save Jayden, could be nearby? Be still my heart-please? All I can say Nephy---your call. Huggs!!!! (and these huggs aren't really a bribe---yeah-right!) Author's Response: Date: 10/17/2010 05:11 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Wow. That was extremely hard to read. Wheres Cal?! He need's to come save Jayden from the crazy pyscho bitch Kelly? But on a positive note... Jayden's realizations were so wonderful to read, I am sure these will change Jayden's relationship with Cal tremendously for the better. Please, please post again soon! Author's Response: today or tomorrow at the latest Don't worry, Cal's not far away but he's having a little trouble of his own. Jayden has really opened his eyes and if he gets out of this alive no doubt it will change things. If.... Kelly isn't finished with that scalpel yet. Date: 10/17/2010 12:23 PM Title: Chapter 29 Reviewer: phana14 I believe that we have been exposed to the *Devil* incarnate. And I am NOT referring to either Kelly or Anya! Author's Response: You can't mean me *shines halo* Date: 10/09/2010 12:57 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Boone OMG!!! I was hoping I was wrong about Kelly but this is unbelievable!!!! How sick are this people-Poor Jayden. Cal will be there soon (I hope) although I'm afraid it will not be in time to stop all the pain that Jayden may be subjected to. What an awesome story. You managed to lull us into a sense of family with Kelly only to shock the hell out of us. Please don't make us wait too long for te next chapter. Date: 10/09/2010 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Boone OMG!!! I was hoping I was wrong about Kelly but this is unbelievable!!!! How sick are this people-Poor Jayden. Cal will be there soon (I hope) although I'm afraid it will not be in time to stop all the pain that Jayden may be subjected to. What an awesome story. You managed to lull us into a sense of family with Kelly only to shock the hell out of us. Please don't make up wait too long for te next chapter. Author's Response: HAHA... yeah Cal was right about Kelly all along. She is the bitch from hell. I did warn you all a long way back that there would be another evil woman... well actually there are two because sweet little Anya is about to show her true colours too. They are right about one thing though.... you do need to go back to move forward as Jayden is about to find out the hard way. Date: 10/09/2010 11:25 AM Title: Chapter 28 Reviewer: phana14 "And now we see through a glass darkly" Author's Response: Do you? Cool Date: 10/05/2010 04:11 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo That was intense and very hard to read. It shed light on the extremity of what Jayden is going through. I have a feeling that Cal is going to be quite upset about this. I think the most disturbing thing was Kelly giving the knives to Jayden... that was the hardest to read. I am not so sure how I feel about her. Extremely intense and thought-provoking. I hope you can get the next chapter up soon:) Author's Response: Kelly is a complex character. You'll understand her better in the next couple of chapters. In a different way she's been hurt as much as Jayden but she has a different way of dealing with it. Yes, that was a hard chapter to write, but you'll see what it leads up to soon. Thanks for sticking with the story and, as always thanks for th review. Date: 09/29/2010 06:48 PM Title: Chapter 27 Reviewer: Douw A little disturbing but cool;~} Sigh i'm a Addicted lol Author's Response: If you think that's disturbing then you may wish to look away later on You can get help for addiction you know Date: 09/29/2010 07:01 AM Title: Chapter 27 Reviewer: phana14 WOW! That was a *wake-up/shake-up* that I haven't had in a while!! I had actually forgotten just how tormented Jayden's past really was. Good Grief!! You know what, Nephy? I'm glad that you woke me back up. Life around here has been SO easy for SO long, it's about time to *dig in* again! But I most certainly did NOT expect the field of operation to be our Jayden's tummy! I hope Kelly didn't set Jayden back so far that Cal and Helen can't bring him around to what WE call normalcy. And speaking of Cal, no wonder he hates Kelly. Even though she was only trying to help. Chapter 26 was a great lead-in to this one, (sorta like 'twins'). I'm SO happy that we are back on a roll here, Nephy! Hugs Author's Response: You aint seen nothing yet Date: 09/29/2010 04:03 AM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: sanman Hey Neph, another tear jerker of a chapter, I think Cal is extremely in touch with himself to be able to edmit his passion for J. He's a hun and I Can't wait for Jaden and kele to face off. Author's Response: Cal is awesome. He is just amazing. You wait and see. As for Kelly...well she stirs up some trouble but then pops up again later so reserve judgement. Date: 09/29/2010 03:48 AM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: sanman This chapter left me almost emotionally fulfilled, you're a word wizzard, from emotional highs to lows, to shocks, to fulfillment. I'm concerned about Cal though and whether he's gona crack under the strain, and if he does, what impact his symtoms are gona have on the Jaden, the group, and Kele, who I still don't trust, good going Author's Response: Haha. Thank you so much for your reviews. I am glad you like the story. Don't worry about Cal. He's stronger than he looks. He's very fiery and lets all his emotions out in the moment, He doesn't bottle things up like Jayden does which, in the end makes him a lot more stable. He can handle things. He's hilarious later on. The group is a bit dodgy at times but they're all friends and they stick together. As for Kelly... well, she's been through a lot too and it's affected her as much as it has Jayden, just in a very different way. She'll be popping up and I think you;ll get to understand her better by the end of the story. Date: 09/28/2010 05:38 AM Title: Chapter 26 Reviewer: Douw Oh no!!!! Not HER!!!! lol loved the chapter Author's Response: You just wait!!! Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Date: 09/19/2010 12:42 PM Title: Chapter 26 Reviewer: Nanmander Oh geez, Jayden, come back! I'm afraid for him, and I want Cal to come find him. Cal's not in this chapter--I miss him. Author's Response: Don't worry. Cal's in the next one. He's doing some detective work and the cavalry are on their way. Although Jayden really doesn't think he needs it. Date: 09/16/2010 08:46 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo So sad. So very sad. Poor Jayden and poor Cal. I am on the edge of my seat. I really, really hope you post soon... Author's Response: I have written the next chapter and there's some surprises. I will try to post soon Date: 08/28/2010 04:03 AM Title: Chapter 25 Reviewer: Douw Oh keeping me on the edge of my seat... I have a feeling this is not over by a long shot... But still grate work way to go dark one;~} Author's Response: Your feelings are serving you well... there is a long way to go and most of it is downwards I am glad you are enjoying and hope you will like where I take the story next. i am thinking it is going to be unexpected... I hope so Date: 08/25/2010 02:52 PM Title: Chapter 25 Reviewer: phana14 Oh......noooo. Well, we knew this was going to happen at SOME time--we just didn't know exactly WHEN. They'll make it through this and become a bit closer to each other. Cal cannot hurt Jay because his heart will not allow him to. I believe that the reason Jayden ran away was to have some time to grasp how close he might have come to forcing Cal away. Hmmm (I'm getting concerned for the boys Nephy! You play nice now, OK?) Thanks Nephy! Author's Response: Don't thank me, not yet. The question is not what Jayden was running away from... I think we all know that... it's what he's running to. Be afraid. Be very afraid. What are you thinking of man?!!! Play nice? Since when? Date: 08/25/2010 12:57 PM Title: Chapter 24 Reviewer: Douw I Loved the last part funny lol But me FAVORITE part is were they are sitting next to the river really sweet! Author's Response: I liked that part too... it was a breathing space for them. It gets pretty exciting from now on. Date: 08/16/2010 03:52 AM Title: Chapter 24 Reviewer: phana14 STUNNING! GOOSE BUMPS! EMOTIONAL! Nephylim! Thank you so much for this story. Even though I personally believe that ALL of your creations are excellent, there are some segments of each story or poem OR SONG that seem to rise a little higher than their neighbors, and THIS chapter is one of those. The way that you described the moments just prior to the performance, with your description of the setting that Jayden and Cal were in down by the river, already had me waiting for something spectacular in the show (performance). And then, *Twilight World*! "The hands I see are reaching up when they should be reaching down." Could this be Cal reaching up to the one he always thought was out of reach? "For there are arms around me that will never let me go." Nephy, don't even think of telling us that these aren't Cal's arms! A beautiful, beautiful chapter Nephy. Thanks. Author's Response: Aw thank you. That's awesome. The song is about the time when Jayden was in a coma. The hands reaching up were pulling him down so they were certainly not Cal's. The arms that will never let him go though most certainly are Cal's. I am realy glad you like this one. The next one is a real shocker for Cal as well as the reader. Lets just say that Jayden lets hs hair down Date: 08/13/2010 01:06 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo I think you should post the next chapter soon:) Author's Response: Tee hee. Well.... I have kind of put this one on the shelf just for a little while because I have been working on other things. I have the next chapter written and the one after sketched out in my mind. The only thing is the next one is a bit of a cliffie and I thought it was kinder to leave you here for a while but since you asked for it I will post when I come home tonight. Date: 08/12/2010 08:34 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Nanmander Can't wait for the next chapter. I just love Cal, I think he is really such a genuinely warmhearted person and it makes me smile whenever I read about him (which is pretty much every chapter). Author's Response: Yeah he's a chapter whore. He is a good guy though as many with imposing appearance are. Don't forget he's scary I am glad you're liking the story and glad you're liking Cal. Next time we see the boys in action and get to 'hear' one of their songs. I hope you like it. Date: 08/09/2010 04:45 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: Douw Can't wait ;~} Author's Response: I'm being cruel, raising expectation because I happen to think that the next chapter is one of the best. However, it ends on a tiny little bit of a cliffie and I haven't written the next one yet as I am working on other things so I want to wait until I've written the next couple of chapters before I post the next one on the basis that you'll all be far happier waiting at this point than after the next one. Date: 08/07/2010 02:57 PM Title: Chapter 23 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, That was sooo sweet! Jay and Cal BOTH needed those moments! (so did I). I adore how you are bringing Jay slowly but surely back into the real world. To hurry it would cheapen it. And you have Cal totally under control! In this chapter he made zero mistakes! I'm positive that you will *blow the roof off* before you are through with this story, but for now I'm going to settle for this sweetest of chapters. Thanks Nephy! Your boys deserved this one! Author's Response: Of course they did. And next chapter they get to perform again. I figured you guys needed relief as much as they do. Trust me, Cal will never be under control. Date: 07/21/2010 12:45 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo Wow. Jays kick ass. Author's Response: He is indeed. He's no wimp that's for sure. Some really fun stuff coming up i hope you keep enjoying. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 07/17/2010 11:10 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: phana14 Oh sweet God in heaven!! This chapter has to be placed way up on that wall of favorites! You've outdone yourself, Nephy! And you sneaky Devil you, making us believe that Jay was SO not ready to face reality yet, and still have him negotiating a contract(s) behind everyones back. Chapter End Notes: you use brackets around celebrate. THAT is scary coming from you. All in all Nephy, one fantastic chapter! Thanks. And a BIG HUG!! Are you still sick? Author's Response: Thank you so much. That was SUCH a fun chapter to write. You can relax a little. I have written a couple of chapters while I was away and things have been going fairly well. The concert is fabulous and you get a complete song lyrics. It does go a little downhill after that but Jay looks fab on a bike. Thigs are soon to take a rather unexpected turn and I'm not entirely sure how that is going to turn out but for now things are looking good. Date: 07/15/2010 02:40 PM Title: Chapter 22 Reviewer: Draigen whoo, Jay is awesome!!!!! Author's Response: Yeah he is and he's going to get better and better in a manner of speaking. Maybe I should say moreand more glorious. Date: 07/15/2010 06:49 AM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: Douw This is a grate chapter Nephy I really loved it! I can't wait to read the next chapter... I have a feeling sum one is going to get a nasty shock namely a wannabe presenter... Maybe?;~} Author's Response: Revenge is sweet Thanks for reading and reviewing and I'm really glad you are still liking the story. Date: 07/14/2010 04:07 AM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! I'm *stumped* here. I KNOW that you are going to do something really-really mean and wicked to our boys. I wonder what twist or turn is coming up. YOU know where I want this story to go. AH! But it's YOUR story! Ok Nephy. I surrender. I will just have to accept that Jay and Cal are very soon to overcome their problems and begin a foreverness (?) together. Pssh! I'm lovin' the story Neph! Thank you!!! Author's Response: Yeah you are getting to know me aren't you There is some great times coming up for the band and there is some hot sex for Cal and Jay as well as a tad of revenge and a glimpse of a side of Jayden we have only touched on so far. There are twists and they don't lead Jayden to good places. Would it help if I told you it will all be okay in the end? if so I could do that. I might not be lying. Date: 07/13/2010 07:54 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: phana14 I'm sorry, Nephy, I'm sure that I have already reviewed this chapter, but to refresh before reading the next one, I went back over this one again. And I cannot help it! I needed this so damn bad. This chapter, that is. But I didn't need it nearly as much as Jayden and Cal did! Thanks again, (?) Nephy!!! Author's Response: Hehe. I agree that Jayden and Cal needed this. And there is some light relief in the chapters to come that they badly needed too. But the problems aren't over yet and there are dark clouds on the horizon. Aren't there always in my stories. Maybe it's living in a valley where the dark clouds are pretty much always around. Thanks for the review and I am so glad you like the story. It's taken it's time to show me the way forward and took a bit of a hiatus but it seems to be back on track now Date: 07/13/2010 07:05 PM Title: Chapter 21 Reviewer: Draigen whoop, new chapter ^^ yaaaaay ^^ Author's Response: Yeah. I have a stock now and getting nearer to the end so the way things link up are making more sense. In times of stress I write as fast as my fingers can type... faster. Date: 07/13/2010 01:50 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay Neph, As usual, wonderful, heartwarming, and heartwrenching. The heartache just bursts through and smacks you right in the face. More soon, PLEASE!! Author's Response: I'm working on it now. Next chapter will be soon. Thankyou for still reading and reviewing. Date: 07/13/2010 12:22 AM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy! What a wonderful, wonderful chapter! I SO needed Cal and Jay to make this connection! GODS! *thank you* Author's Response: Well...It'sall one sided at the moment and the drama isn't over yet. it gets a whole lot more complicated very soon Date: 07/04/2010 04:30 PM Title: Chapter 20 Reviewer: Draigen f**k, I'm sooo sorry I got behind on reading babe! So sorry! I think these last chapters are amazing! like O.O wooow amazing. The kissing was sweet and the last part yum yum ^^ Author's Response: Tee hee You have enough on your plate at the moment hun with the move and everything. Reading and writing have to go on the back burner for now. Concentrate on getting yourself settled. I am honoured you took time out to read and review. Date: 07/03/2010 02:42 PM Title: Chapter 19 Reviewer: phana14 Nephy, I just don't understand how a heart so hard and so bitterly cold can at the same time be so warm. You are truly an amazing storyteller/writer! Thank you, again. Author's Response: Are you talking about me? My heart is an enigma Thanks you so much for your comment. I do consider myself to be more of a storyteller than a writer. I know the distinction can be fine but I am really pleased you acknowledged it. No need for thanks.. my pleasure entirely Date: 06/16/2010 10:11 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Clovis This is sharper and tighter than other stories... good. Some fine images this is so exact... his thoughts were slippery as fish. Author's Response: Thank you. I have had cause to regret that I started posting before I finished writing but I am getting back into it. I know where it's going and I know where it ends... it's just the getting there Thank you, as always for your thoughtful comments. Date: 06/14/2010 05:52 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Clovis This is perhaps your best to date. Disturbing in a strange way... one almost feels Bella is doing Jayden good. I can understand her motives... yes madness, but love too -- perverted by the society in which we live where love is a commodity to be used to sell... everything. Author's Response: Thank you. I actually liked Bella's character. I don't know whether by chapter 4 you've read her background but I feel that she is in some kind of twisted way showing love for Jayden, love she never had. Strange kind of love though. And she certainly doesn't do him any favours. There are more strong women characters in this, which i think are missing from my other stories. Some are good and some very very bad. One in particular puts Bella in the shade but we don't find out who it is until the end. Date: 06/12/2010 05:12 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Clovis Oh Nephy... You do know how to make us flinch... very clever. Author's Response: I like to keep you on your toes Date: 06/11/2010 04:42 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Clovis I must be going blind... I meant Nephy... Author's Response: It's the keyboard fairies Never mind. You know I'll answer to anything as long as it's not too rude... hmm... nope I'll answer to anything at all Date: 06/10/2010 04:55 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Clovis Oh Nephu/// why do you do this to me? Bow I'm all of a shiver. Author's Response: moi? What did I do? *smirk* Sticking with it then... you must be a masochist. Date: 06/10/2010 04:54 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: phana14 Hey Neph' I have several of your stories on my "to do" lists, but ran across this one this morning and decided to go for it first. And am I ever glad that I did!! I became a "house potato" today because of it. Beautiful, beautiful story!! And that song/poem near the end? Priceless. Thank you so much! Author's Response: Hey, don't thank me hun I write because I have to and I share because I love the fact that others are reading my words and liking them. I am so glad you liked the story and that you came to it at this point because it has been on hiatus for a long while as I have been working on other things. I'm back with a vengeance now though and I have another three chapters ready to post and more on the way Thanks for leaving a review i always get really excisted when I get one and you've made my morning start with a smile. Thank you Date: 06/03/2010 07:51 PM Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: taina1959 YIKES! Finally something 'suposedly' positive in the end! Let's hope Jay will open up to Cal and tell him what's brewing inside. Great Chapter Darling! Author's Response: Thanks hun. I have another two chapters written and I'm on a roll again. It does get more positive (can it get less) at least for a while, but it's just as angsty. Next time the boys get back in the swing of things and Jeff their manger gets to hear the first song for the new album. He's really worried because he doesn't know how he is going to break it to Jayden if it's not up to standard, which he has a sneaking suspicion it won't be. So it's sound checks and bickering all the way. I thought you all deserved a bit of fun... well my version of fun anyway Date: 06/03/2010 12:56 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay When Oh When are you going to post a new chapter of this great story???? Author's Response: I tend to be a bit focused on the present. I have been really busy working on other things. Oops. I will try and get a couple of chapters under my belt so I can post more often. I have a fairly clear idea of where this story is going so it shouldn't take too long. Sorry Date: 05/30/2010 11:33 PM Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Cia Yay for Helen and yay for Cal! You know, I tried to give Jaden's sister a chance but I still don't really like her. The idea that anyone would believe what others tell them so blindly for so long, even when faced with the concrete truth bothers me. I truly hope that Jaden can become strong by being weak, letting others help him. Sometimes that is what it takes. You did a great job with this chapter Nephy, it's not as emotional as some but the hope it brings is vital! Author's Response: Yeah... it's a... hmm what is the right metaphor... uphill suggests struggle and downhill decline... hmmm... It's all uphill for Jayden from here... at least for a while. Unfortuntaely we have not yet seen the last of Kelly. Now she's got her teeth in so to speak she isn't going to let go easily. She is just going to keep away from Cal Cal is lion like in more ways than one Date: 04/06/2010 04:55 PM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Wyndham Nephylim..... Nephy! I can't remember getting so angry at characters in a story. There were times when I just had to get up and walk off what I was feeling. I was even angry with you for a while... but not any more What powerful stuff. I'm so glad there was the relief in this chapter to cheer me up, otherwise - I just don't know. Please can we have things get better, even if only for a little while. And can you "lose" the sister? Don't like her, don't want her around! Author's Response: Angry with me? Moi? Hehe. Awesome. There will be some relief I promise. Helen is going bring her special magic to proceedings and the boys all pull together and let their hair down. But as for Kelly I'm afraid you're going to have to put up with her interfering for a while. She's back and she is going to do everything she can to make sure she stays back. Date: 03/12/2010 08:01 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Wyndham Oh God! Nephylim, you do my head in....... Not quite sure why I didn't read this before, but never mind - I'm here now. As usual, your storytelling is riveting and I can't wait to devour more chapters. There are lots of things I should be doing right now but they will have to wait!!!!! Author's Response: Aww thanks hun. I don't mean to do your head in Or do I? :) I'm quite fond of this story but I have to admit that recently I have neglected it. I have been focussing so much on the other ones I am focussing on. I ran out of steam a bit even though I have the outline in my head. Meh. I'm back on it now so it will be updating regularly now Date: 03/12/2010 05:25 AM Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Cia Ooh...I love Helen. I am so glad she put that doctor in his place about the mental institution. They can be places of healing or hell, depending on the place and the person. The insights into pain, burdens and the strength to deal with both that Cal's mother voiced were quite eloquent. In life those sentiments are very true and you stated them in a very realistic and touching way. Lovely chapter! Author's Response: Thank you hun. Helen needs to be a very special lady to get this mess sorted out... if she does. I can't beleive I forgot about this story. It was one of my favourites at one point. Meh... I will update more regularly I promise. Jay has a lot of ups and downs ahead of him. Date: 03/10/2010 11:06 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay I just can hardly wait for more of this one. Bravo!!!!!! Author's Response: Heck... you are never going to believe this but I completely forgot about this story. I have it outlined so I am going to have to get back to it. Expect a new chapter within the next few days. *blushes* Date: 03/04/2010 09:44 PM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Draigen Wow, I know I'm kinda late, but Wow! en YAY voor angry Cal ^^ Author's Response: Hey... thanks hun. Glad you like it. There is more, so much more to come and I think you will like the angstyness of it... as well as a bunch of cute goth boys fighting among each other and some more fun with fame. Thanks for the review but what are you doing in here when you should be writing yourself. :) Date: 01/21/2010 08:55 AM Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: anordwell OMG, if Cal were one whit less a stand up man I fully expect he would have bitch slapped that woman! Jeez! You certainly know how to write characters I love to hate Nephy! Great chapter as always! Author's Response: Hehe... She was a complete bitch wasn't she? I thought that Luc at least partly redeemed himself by throwing water in her face. That would have been so much worse for her than a bitch slap. Although there is still a dark strain going through the story with Jayden's mental health issues I am intending things to be lighter, at least for a while and I am doing my best to inject humour in there so you are going to have to keep an eye on me and let me know if I am successful in that Date: 01/18/2010 11:16 AM Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: anordwell Wow, that was an emotional chapter for Cal. I hope that Cal can reach an accord with the whole band thing and Kelly, for Jay's sake. Great work Nephy as always. Author's Response: Thanks hun. The next chapter will be a bit of fun i think... some relief from all the stress and angst. Things start going better when a few new characters turn up... for a while. Date: 01/06/2010 09:09 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Draigen uah Poor Jay and even more so Cal I hope it will get better cause they deserve it Author's Response: It will get worse and it will get better. I can promise you one thing... Weeping Lily will perform again Although I am not promising who will be singing. Date: 12/26/2009 06:57 PM Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: anordwell What? A complete disaster to come? No!! I hope it's not for the guys...grrrr. Ahh..no point in anticipating what it might be, I'll just have to wait. Great chapter, somehow I am not surprised that Cal is now refusing to leave. Okay, so now I am anxious for Ch. 13, lol can't wait to find out what Helen can contribute. Author's Response: Hehe... she's a diamond... but she doesn't find it easy. Thanks for reading and reviewing... you reviews are my staple diet Date: 12/22/2009 07:44 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Draigen Whoa, niiice. And poor Jay getting his balls smashed like that Author's Response: But he sooooo wanted it. And he loved it. Kind of Jay is getting his balls smashed (fuguratively speaking) all round and it gets worse before it gets better... but it does get better Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 12/14/2009 06:57 AM Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: anordwell Well...Kelly finally said it! Someone has put into words what is going on with Jayden. Great chapter, Nephy! Author's Response: Thank you. But putting something into words isn't the same as dealing with it. There's a long way to go before any of them do that. Thanks hun... I always look forward to your comments they are spot on. Date: 12/13/2009 04:53 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Draigen woooow, intense!!!!! *hug* Author's Response: Aye... as always *hugs back* Hold on and be ready for the ride of your life... well a ride anyway. This goes up and down more than a whore giving a blow job Thanks for commenting Date: 12/05/2009 05:40 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: anordwell Wow...that is a great chapter. Finally some things are getting faced that need to be. It always gets worse before it gets better though. Can't wait for the next update! Author's Response: It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Thanks for your comment and yes, it is going to get worse... much worse:) Date: 12/04/2009 09:48 PM Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Montreal Ormolu Tough chapter in a tough story...thank you. I can't help wondering about Kelly. Is she doing this for Jayden or for herself? Is this simply more about her own issues, or can she really be there for Jayden? The antagonism between Cal and Kelly may never go away...she is very manipulative of him, all in the struggle to be there for Jayden. Does she really think that Cal will forgive her for that? Enjoying it greatly. Thank you. Author's Response: Now that's a burning question. There is a lot of struggle left to come and it is going to tear the whole group apart before it gets resolved. Someone asked me today if I ever wrote happy stories.... maybe I will have to try it one day... but then life is't like that is it Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it. Date: 12/04/2009 03:59 PM Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Jon T Lappin LOL, Siona reminds me of the chick from King's Misery, but hotter and maybe a little crazier!!! Good chapter! Author's Response: I have been told that before. Haven't seen the film.. must get to it. I am glad you are still enjoying and, of course that you are reviewing. Thanks :) Date: 12/03/2009 02:48 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Draigen Woa, sweeeeet ^^ Author's Response: Don't get too excited... it's back to 'ugh you WHAT' in the next chapter :) Date: 12/02/2009 03:59 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Jon T Lappin I really liked this chapter, and it really drew me in. I'm quite excited to see what's in store for Jayden, and what Siona's plans are for him. I liked your character descriptions in this story. You made each member of the group seem different, but somehow the same... in a group sense!! Author's Response: Thank you. Thanks for reading and for commenting. I hope you enjoy the story... Jayden is in for one hell of a ride and it's not over until it's over. I like the characters in this story...I mean the way I see them in my head... the way they are and when that happens it's easy to write them. So I don't take all the credit for them as they tend to write themselves. I hope you keep on enjoying and reviewing :) Date: 12/01/2009 04:56 PM Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: anordwell awww, that was almost a sweet chapter. I'm surprised at you Nephy! Just kidding. That is something I like as well...you can have these incredibly dark stories, but here and there, blinding light! I can't wait until the shocks though, that definitely piqued my interest even more, who would have thought that possible! Author's Response: Awww.... you are so kind. I can do sweet :) The next chapter is a bit shocking but it's still sweet... like you :) Thanks for sticking with me Date: 12/01/2009 12:25 PM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Draigen Woa, Great chapter ^_^ Author's Response: Thank you. This is just the beginning. The whole story is a learning process for everyone involved. Cal and Jay have no idea what their true feelings are or what it is going to mean for them. Jay is only just beginning to get over this and it is going to be a LOT harder than anyone realiss both physically and emotionally. Add in someone who really aren't what they seem and there is a rocky road ahead for the two of them... and for the whole band. We will get to know them all a lot more before the story is done. I hope you stay on the roller coaster and enjoy the ride :) Date: 11/29/2009 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: anordwell This was a very emotional chapter, so many downswings and then...then...sigh. You are so good at drawing out emotions with your stories. I can't wait to find out what happens next! Cia Author's Response: Thank you... this story is quite an emotional roller coaster even for me... first in one way and then another. Date: 11/26/2009 12:50 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: B1ue I keep meaning to tell you how much I've enjoyed reading this, especially the exploration of how the public image of the band, their actual mental states, and their music interact and inform one another. It makes me wonder if Jay ever wrote and came out with a song that fits how he wants to see himself, as a way of mentally reinforcing that view. Author's Response: There will be more of this later. Jay will get back to writing and I will be including some of the songs he writes as he started his journey back to physical health but deeper and deeper into hell... helped by an unexpected source. The band will start functioning again... in a way. There will be music and magic... of a sort. :) Hope you continue to enjoy :) Thanks so much for reviewing. Date: 11/23/2009 06:05 AM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Draigen woooowwww *cries* Author's Response: Awww hun... didn't mean to make you cry :) Hope it was a good kind of crying. Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Date: 11/17/2009 01:14 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Draigen awwwh damn.... I do hope jay is going to get better :( Author's Response: In one way. There will be music.... later. :) And everyone is going to have to face it. Date: 11/16/2009 12:42 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: David McLeod Once again, a few words capture so very much: "...Miracles happen...Not to people like us.” That thought not only sets the tone for an entire chapter, but serves as a greater and stronger motivation than any "cliffhanger" to read the next chapter. Author's Response: There are many kinds of miracles. The miracle of life, the miracle of birth, the miracle of love... there will be miracles in the chapters to come and gods these kids need them... but the greatest miracle of all won't be the obvious one... it will not come until long after. Date: 11/14/2009 09:47 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: David McLeod Although the conclusion was perhaps, inevitable, it was nevertheless a shock. I'm going to have to continue this in the forum. Author's Response: hehe... thanks. The conclusion came as a bit of a shock to me too. It was awesome to write. I love the whole emotional thing. Bella was one twisted bitch and she did the world a favour... but not Jayden eh? Date: 11/14/2009 09:38 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: David McLeod Sonia's physical abuse of Jayden is nothing compared to her mental abuse. On the other hand, Jayden should know better than to ever answer a question such as, "What do you like best? My eyes? My hair? What about my dress?” I wanted to warn him, to shout to him, "It's a set up! You can't win!" I love it when a story is so well written that I become that involved. Jayden's comment regarding his mother ("...what she didn’t realise was that, in taking away my nanny and my school, she took away the only stabilising influences in my life, my only chance to learn how to form proper relationships...") reveals a great deal about him in only a few words. It's wonderful writing, and assures us that this exciting story has some serious psychological underpinnings that will make it much more than merely a thriller. Author's Response: That was Siona/Bella hun... I'm sorry my writing was so unclear. Siona said... just relax and I'll tell you somthing about me... and that was her story. Hehe yeah.. Jayden was definately set up with those comments. Thank you for being so kind about my writing. I am glad you are enjoying it. Date: 11/14/2009 09:34 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: tinlizzie You are indeed the master of leaving us poor readers on the edge! I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I hope Jayden is still with us. Author's Response: I won't keep you hanging for too long. :) Glad you care :) Thanks for reading and reviewing Date: 11/09/2009 09:06 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: anordwell This was such a toe clenching chapter...literally. I want to know about Jayden too but find myself almost stressing out... Great writing Nephy! Author's Response: Aww don't stress out.. at least not at this chapter.. it's the next one that should get you stressing :) As always, thanks for reading and commenting Date: 11/03/2009 07:37 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Draigen Wow, I love it :) I love angst and I think I love jayden even more ^^ Author's Response: Thank you. Jayden is a very flawed human being but all the more beautiful because of it. This is his story and we are only at the beginning. I am glad you like this story and thank you for the review Date: 11/02/2009 05:48 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Inuberry I'm very intereted in seeing where this goes. I'm sure you didn't know this, but I looovveeee bands and shows and concerts, so this story already as an A+. :D Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you like where it goes. The band goes on but the story isnt really about the fame and fortune... it's about the relationships and hoe they cope with a series of very unexpected events. I hope you continue to like it. Date: 11/01/2009 06:26 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: semaj565 I'll admit... I was worried there for a minute. Reading about a typical, famous rock band can be a bit dull, especially when the writer is constantly reminding the readers how wealthy, famous, and how amazing the band is, but this is not that kind of story and I'm sorry for doubting you at first haha. I'm really curious about how the Cal/ Jayden relationship turns out. Good luck on this one :) Author's Response: This story really isn't about the band as a band, but as a group of friends, how they cope with tragedy in their lives and how they pick up the pieces afterwards. There are villains and heroes and Cal and Jayden's relationship is pretty much the key to it all. It's not what you think :) Date: 11/01/2009 06:01 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod Wonderfully lyric language ("...casting off the feelings of raw unease that had dogged him since the meeting with Jeff, leaving [them] on the bathroom floor with his clothes...") and a panoply of interesting characters woven together with hints of mystery, as well as an ending that draws the reader into a pool of swirling darkness. Heady stuff! Author's Response: Oooh thank you David. I LOVE the word panoply :) Thank you for reading and your reviews, as alwasy are as lyrical as you say my writing is :) Your comments are always most welcome Date: 10/29/2009 07:24 AM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: taina1959 What do you do when... Scream like hell!! That's what I'd do!! Hmm.. How long will it take for the rest to realize that this time is not one of Jayden's act of desappearing, not for a couple days. I fear that it he will be missing for much longer this time around... Great new story Nephy!!! Author's Response: You could be right... a day... a week... forever...??? :) Thanks for reading and reviewing hun... as always :) Date: 10/28/2009 08:16 PM Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: anordwell Well as usual, you have me sucked into the story within a few sentences. Just your prologue itself is enough. I wonder about Jayden's family, mostly because of your comment at the end. The dynamic between him and the band is very interesting...flashbacks to come maybe? All in all, I like the characters personalities that are already shining through and I soooo want to know what kind of crackpot Siona is. I hope to see many chapters to come, SOON! LOL Cia Author's Response: Thanks Cia. There will be more than flashbacks hun. Siona is some kind of twisted crackpot I can tell you that. It's surprising what she gets Jayden to confide to her... not that he wants to but... well keep reading and you will find out Date: 10/28/2009 03:18 PM

Title: Faith, Hope and Love... and a Miracle. Reviewer: Renee Stevens I absolutely loved it! Don't really know what else to say... You've written of a love that transcends consciousness.... Once I started reading this story I couldn't stop. I thought you really captured Eden's faith in Summer and am so glad that this story ended happily. There's not a lot of people who would have stood by for 3 years, especially with everyone telling Eden that it was time for him to move on. Very well written and I enjoyed it immensely! I also really like your "Moral of the Story".. Hugs ~Renee Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review and for your grasp of the story. It's a little embarassing to admit but part of the idea (and the moral) came to me when I was watching Beauty and the Beast (Disney version) with my daughter (who is 24 so no excuses there). I have a 'thing' for universal myths and I got to thinking about the one about old ladies in distress. They crop up all over the place and bad things tend to happen to those who ignore them and good things to those who don't. And then of course is my love of tarot and that got in there somewhere... and the star is a Christmas image so things just went for there. It's one of the few stories I have written where the story came before the characters did. Thanks again Date: 11/16/2010 12:33 AM Title: Faith, Hope and Love... and a Miracle. Reviewer: Ara Hehe I did wait until morning but only coz I was on the bloody laptop and it hates me. You know I dont generally read the shorts because they are well short but I do make an exception for yours Nephy. And all I can say is that was sweet, like phana I wasnt sure where you were gonna go what with your track record even when he woke I thought dont get your hopes up he may just be wakin up to say goodbye. Fortunately we got a happy one and most definately an enjoyable one now go eat cake drink vodka and have a great day Nephy Author's Response: I'm glad I was tricksy enough to keep you guessing Thanks hun. Lots of cake in the offing. Red velvet cake no less... so excited never had any before Glad you liked the story Date: 11/07/2010 05:34 AM Title: Faith, Hope and Love... and a Miracle. Reviewer: phana14 Actually, I should wait until the am to review this, but, I CANNOT. What an extraordinary story! About midpoint I was sure that the "Miracle" was going to be when the thugs took care of Eden that he and Summer would be *forever* in death. Thank the gods THAT didn't happen! What a beautiful and loving tale of faith: faith that, despite seemingly insurmountable odds, love is worth the effort. That sometimes love alone can give medicine the *shove-off*! Actually, medicine AND love are two very important partners. Thanks Nephy! What a fantastic gift! (you have=we get). "Dark Lady/One" my bum! Biggie hugs!! Author's Response: Thank you hun. I can always rely on you. That's worth everything. Date: 11/06/2010 07:10 PM

Title: Chapter 12 - Jealousy and Spite Reviewer: phana14 This chapter seems to be important mostly due to the slowly unwinding teeny tiny itch that just MAYBE our sister Leelany has more baggage than we have been led to believe. hmmm I was actually embarrassed when I had to look up "nascent". I understood your meaning in the story, but I didn't understand the EXACT meaning of the word. Now I do. I'm hanging in there, darlin'! Hugs! Author's Response: Date: 12/12/2010 04:00 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Touching down to Danger and Surprises Reviewer: phana14 As if the poor things hadn't already gone through enough, we leave the reader with MORE insecurity? damn I love the Hel out of the idea that Ben was sucked into the environment that all of the others were! Even Gabrielle had at least some memory/knowledge of what the group encountered. Go Ben! Survive! As far as Cai and Gabe are concerned, I have all of my fingers crossed. I want so much for these two to have a happy-forever. But I know that will have to wait. Loved this chapter, Nephy! But I kinda expected some...... at least at some point in the story? Thanks so much, Nephy! Author's Response: There is a little bit of how's your father but that's not what the story is about so there is no need for much of it. Cai and Gabe have a long way to go... a long long long way. Who knows what might happen along the way? Ben is a little star but, bless him he's gonna be lost as a little lost thing. Cai and Lee have each other and Gabe has Cai but poor Ben is all alone. Makes for an interesting time ahead. Date: 12/11/2010 04:59 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Going Home Reviewer: phana14 I did review chapter nine, Nephy, but GA did it's thing again! I don't have the wherewithall to attempt to recreate it. But as for chapter ten---I'm glad that Leelany and Gabrielle finally see eye-to-eye. And from the lost review, I mentioned that I hoped that you had a person such as Sadie in your childhood. She is so friendly and outgoing that how could you NOT love her? And now it is so sad to know that they had to separate from each other! OK NOW! We seem to have Captain Kirk and FOUR passengers aboard! Can we expect to hear Doctor Ben Lacey say something like "For God's sake, Captain! They're not even HUMAN! hahahaha-oops-sorry. Right at this point I believe that you took a perfect left/right turn with the story, Neph. Hospital B-gone! And just think of this! Cai AND Gabrielle AND Ben. uh oh? Can NOT wait!!! Thanks you! Author's Response: Yeah, I think Ben came in at exacty the wrong time... or maybe exactly the right time. Well... he didnt want a boring future... be careful of waht you wish for eh? : I am going to post a couple more chapters this afternoon to get everyone in the swing with where the story is going... for now Your reviews are so fab but do remember that you can tell me about all the things you DON'T like as well *HUGS* Date: 12/10/2010 06:38 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Prisoner of Glass and Metal Reviewer: phana14 Holy COW!! I was NOT expecting THAT!! You seem to be trying to give us the impression that these two (Cai and Gabe) really aren't so compatable after all?? Say it aint so! And you certainly do have a thing about names. hehehe And speaking of which, I really like the good doctor, Ben Lacey. I understand that he is a rookie, but he seems to have a wonderful 'bedside manner'. But you'll probably ---never mind, it will be easier to just read the rest of the story, huh? And so they lost their footing and fell.....to where? Guess I'll have to keep going.... Thanke, Nephy! Keep the chin up! Author's Response: I like names. I can't relate to a character unless I like their name. Shallow I know... rose by any other name and all that... but it's me. Ben is a fab character although he does get a bit out of his depth on this one. Date: 12/10/2010 05:09 PM Title: Chapter 7 - Consequences Reviewer: phana14 Soooo...Leelany hates Gabrielle? I say! Small wonder! Wait! there's going to be a THIRD time? No way. She's going to be taken out with a ball bat to the...oops-sorry. This was certainly anything but a boring chapter, Neph! Wild ride! Thanks. ps: They still have to have fun, so it's a bit early for anything crazy to happen. hehe And please STOP beating yourself up over this being a "straight" story! The GD emotions are quite similar--only the plumbing has been changed to protect....what? Hugs for having the temerity to post this! Author's Response: Haha... some people get twitchy about plumbing Oh don't worry Leelany is going to have so much reason to hate Gabrielle. There is a secret that only she knows and she's crap at trying to make things work according to it. It feels so good to have my favourite reviewer back *hugs* Date: 12/10/2010 04:38 PM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: Jabberjaw While I always ejoy your writing, I didn't get overly interested in the story early on. However that all changed when you published the last set of chapters. I hope you continue with this story and I'm really looking forward to seeing it continue (I hope). Author's Response: Don't worry I will post all of the story. It radically changes from here on as they will be in a whole different world. I hope you enjoy it... and there really isn't that much straight sex in it. The worst is over. Thank you for your comment Date: 12/06/2010 02:09 PM Title: Chapter 6 - My hero; my friend; my love Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Uh-oh! The child and the car--that made me shiver. Whenever I read things with children in it, I automatically think of my own and get all sensitive. I wonder how bad Gabrielle's slip up will turn out to be... hmmmm. Not good, I imagine. Author's Response: Oops misread the chapter for the last one. Ignore what I said until you get to the end of what I've written It's bad. And it causes repercussions. Thank you so so so much for reading this story which I lurves so greatly Date: 12/06/2010 07:51 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Learning to Love Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Hehe, this was really, really sweet. Charming really. I laughed. Thanks, Nephy. Author's Response: I'm so so glad you liked it. I think it gets better from here on. The four of them are very different and they have a long way to travel. I think it's fun to see how they all get along, especially when they get to their destination. I really hope you stick with me because I truly love this story Date: 12/06/2010 07:43 AM Title: Chapter 10 - Going Home Reviewer: Fastreader Okay, Neph', you've shamed me into it...I'll tell you I like it (because I really do) and if you haven't seen me around it's because we were getting ready for our holidays...baking, candy-dipping, baking some more...candying nuts...the usual. The story's just getting to the good parts now! Author's Response: Aww hun, I didnt mean to shame anyone. I know why people don't like it. It's because it's straight and I suppose that kind of story doesn't go down too well here. You don't need to make excuses hun, ever. Thanks for the review though Date: 12/05/2010 11:14 PM Title: Chapter 6 - My hero; my friend; my love Reviewer: phana14 Such a lovely chapter, dear Nephy! I quite hope that the incontinence of the lips has not caused 'Daniel' a problem in the near future. (Daniel is a lovely name.) This story is so erotic in that it is capturing two young people at the most sensual moment of their growing sexual experience(s). Thanks, Nephy. Author's Response: I'm so glad that at least someone is reading and enjoying the story. There is so much more to come and the story is one of the strongest I've written I think. Oh well, at least it's 'out there' Date: 11/24/2010 04:11 PM Title: Chapter 6 - My hero; my friend; my love Reviewer: phana14 This is so cool! "They walked in companionable silence, hand in hand in the bright sunshine and everyone who saw them was struck by the aura of lightness that surrounded them....". I feel sorry for the ones out there who have never felt what you just described. Pity that. I'm loving this story so far. And I cannot think of anything that I would want you to change. But you wouldn't anyhow, so P. Author's Response: Some loves just transcend. Thank you for liking my story and for your consistent and beautiful reviews. Date: 11/23/2010 05:55 PM Title: Chapter 5 - Learning to Love Reviewer: phana14 I really wonder that you would ever have questioned the correctness of posting this story on GA. So far it is right up there with the best of them, and I'm not referring to just YOUR stories. You have a way (when you CHOOSE to) of being so utterly sweet and loving with your characters. And lets not forget *tasteful*. A very sweet story, thus far. Author's Response: thank you. There is absolutely no explicit sex in this one. I thought it would be a good counterpoint to FALLEN. As always thank you for your comment they are always greatly appreciated Date: 11/16/2010 10:42 AM Title: Chapter 4 - Getting to Know You Reviewer: phana14 I love the way you are taking your time to develop the relationship between Gabrielle and Cai. It makes for an extremely smooth read. A nice break. Thanks. Author's Response: Thank you. That's what I am aiming for in this story. Smooth and easy. I'm really glad you like it. I love it. I hope you can stick with it through the straight bits. Date: 11/13/2010 07:13 AM Title: Chapter 3 - First Steps Reviewer: Cia So many hints of what is to come and yet it's so vague that no one will ever guess the amazing story to come. I love re-reading this with knowing where it is going. You finesse the 'unknown' so well. I also love the imagery you invoke at the pool, sooo beautiful! Great chapter. Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad the story stands up to re reading. I keep meaning to credit you as you and Rush are the ones who gave me the confidence to post it. Date: 11/10/2010 08:32 PM Title: Chapter 3 - First Steps Reviewer: phana14 Red Gold--ch.3 You do SO prick me, Nephy! This chapter is a wonderfully fulfilling continuance of the story of two people who over time will (hopefully) create 'goosebumps' on me. I want that so much! Love your imagination! Love your story. Author's Response: Thank you hun The story is only just warming up. I hope you like my beautiful red gold boy Date: 11/10/2010 05:52 PM Title: Chapter 2 The Meeting Reviewer: phana14 So smooth. Such a slow and easy path of introduction, although there appears to be a LOT about the four of them that we STILL don't know.I'm sure we will find out everything in due course. So far this story seems to have a little of everything from your bag of 'goodies' (fey-horror-demons-enchantment-beauty-youth-mystery). This means we're in for a wonderful tale! And as in ALL of your stories, Nephy, you so clearly describe your characters that it makes it so easy for the reader to just *jump right in amongst them*! I adore it when you're not trying to set us on our ears. Author's Response: I've never touched you ears I'm so glad you like this story. But you know me, don't expect smooth sailing all the way Date: 11/07/2010 03:40 AM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: phana14 HOLY CRAP!! I went from tears (of the huggie kind) to ground zero in what, seconds?? Crazy woman you are Nephy! Jesus! By the fifth (I coulda used one) paragraph I was SO into this because of the first paragraph. These two set the story. I thought!! You know what, Nephy? No matter WHAT you come up with it just makes me want to read more and more of your stories! You are something else! Hugs-a-billion for Nephy! YAY! Author's Response: HaHa, yes I'm something else alright... question is what?? If you find out let me know. I am so glad you are enjoying this story because I am very fond of it mysef. I won't be messing about posting either story so you will never have long to wait for a new chapter Date: 11/03/2010 06:48 PM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: Cia Love this story! I've read it before and I'm happy to get another chance to read it again. The story is absolutely wonderful and I was transported into the world you made up which is always the best way to read a story. Author's Response: Thank you hun. It's always such a pleasure to hear from you and a great honour to receive a positive review from such a wonderful writer Date: 11/03/2010 04:07 PM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Fey. I love fey stories. No wonder he didn't tell her his name ! Also, the descriptions here are lovely. By the way, I'm totally blown away by how much writing you get in. And it's riveting stuff too. I think you must breathe words. hehe. Author's Response: Thank you so much. Yes, I was enchanted when I was writing this. Does that make sense. The story just came to me and it honestly felt as if I was channelling it rather than writing it... and I was enchanted by it. I can see the boy, especially as he is later on. He's fabulous. Gabrielle is a bit of an arse at tims but she's basically cool Thank you for the comment, they are always apprecited from awesome writers. Oh and this one was written a while ago. I haven't posted it because it's not gay but i think people know me well enough to cope with it now. Date: 11/03/2010 02:09 PM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: Vicky Wow, Nephy, absolutely fantastic, I am awestruck, enchanted :-)... Cant wait to read more.... Author's Response: That's brilliant. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for your comment. This story is about enchantment. i think it's gentler than most of my others... um... well relatively Date: 11/03/2010 01:22 PM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: sanman You've got me at the edge of my seat, what next? I wonder what Neph has in store for Gabrielle, who is this boy, whats going on? Author's Response: You'll find out soon enough I love this story. It's exciting, or at least I think it is Thanks for your comment Date: 11/03/2010 11:51 AM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: Agaith Wow that was such a gripping opening chapter Nephy. With a mysterious boy as well Want more please Author's Response: You'll get it hun don't worry Date: 11/03/2010 08:12 AM Title: Chapter 1- Red Gold Reviewer: taina1959 Oh Love... This IS a fantastic story Hetero or not. It is so exciting to see you posting it here and it IS worth the read. I've totally enjoyed the kids experience and all that comes along their way. But why on Round Robin? Author's Response: Wat does that mean???? I just press buttons and hope for the best I just had to post it in the end because it was criminal no one was reading it If this goes down well will post MoonMagic too Date: 11/03/2010 06:23 AM

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: andr0gene It sure is different, lol! Took me a bit to get into it, but this last chapter rocks! Author's Response: Fab. Thanks for the review and I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Lots more of the same and different to come Date: 10/31/2010 08:47 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: phana14 *gasping for air* WOW-de-WOW!! I GOTTA find a cigarette! Oh Nephy, I've got more *tons-o-hugs* for you now. Goodness! Author's Response: Glad you liked it Date: 10/31/2010 08:12 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Angel i realy LOVE ur stories so much and a big fan ..tho i was hoping the next one will be Enigma 2 but this one looks a very good one too so i'm not disappointed ..cant wait for the next chapters keep it coming ) Author's Response: Don't worry Enigma 2 is in production but I never start posting until a story is completely finshed. Thank you for commenting on this story. i hope you like the rest of it it's quit different from my usual... or maybe not LOL Date: 10/30/2010 11:43 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Aqua Reviewer: bugeye So the irresistible meets the irresistible. Author's Response: Bang Date: 10/29/2010 03:24 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Kavrik I'm enjoying this story, although, I was a little annoyed that you use the word "beautiful" so much. Now, don't get me wrong--I think it is appropriate in many instances of the use of the word to the voice of the narrator. Only, after a while, it kind of berates you. By the end, I wanted to say, "okay, I understand he's beautiful..." Author's Response: I appreciate that but it's being narrated by someone who is more than used to being surrounded by beautiful boys and he's totally astonished by this one. I suppose he's getting bit carried away Thanks for the review. I hope you enjoy the rest. I will have to reign in on the beautifuls Date: 10/28/2010 10:42 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Johnathan Colourfield Chapter 1 was very interesting will read the next chapter later on I want to read more, seems very weird as you warned hehe. I like it And i wonder what the title links to... Fallen Author's Response: Haha.... I told you it wasn't a vampire story so what do YOU think THanks for the review hun, as always it made me smile Date: 10/28/2010 05:27 PM Title: Chapter 2 - Aqua Reviewer: phana14 I never expected that when you said that this story was 'loaded' (my words) with sex that you were THIS serious! Holy Cow! Or sheep or? This is so different, and yet so damned erotic that I'm going to denigrate myself by asking for more of this faster than I know you are willing to post it. I am well aware that this won't happen, but I want you to understand how fast two tiny chapters have drawn me in. Thank you Nephy! And 'tons-o-hugs' will I think be my motto for this story. Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. And if you think that chapter was bad/good, just wait. I mean it's not bad as in bad just bad in a good way. There are some chapters that make me cry and some that makes me laugh and some that make me feel... yeah I will be posting quite quickly because this is not the kind of story that you can wait a long time between chapters for because... well you'll see. Thank you as always for your reviews. I hope that you will enjoy the rest. Date: 10/28/2010 02:56 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: shatterheart Congrats Nephylim, you done it again. I'm addicted and can't wait for more. Author's Response: Awesome. Thanks so much. I hope you like the rest of it. Date: 10/27/2010 07:18 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: bugeye This looks to be very good. So count me in for the ride. Author's Response: WoooHooo Sam Sam Sam's here. Looking forward to riding with you *did you notice the grin* ? Date: 10/27/2010 05:46 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Wyndham Wonderful start Nephy. I'm looking forward to experiencing the twists and turns that feature in your writing. Author's Response: Thank you hun. Nice to see you back, I missed you. I hope you will like the story as it certainly has its share of twists and turns. Date: 10/27/2010 05:16 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: phana14 If this had been posted in eFiction using "Sneak Peeks" and posted anonymously, I would have been ALL OVER the author to continue! It only makes it that much sweeter that this comes from such a fantastic mind as *Nephylim*!! You did make me catch myself though. When I read the 'big guy' say: "It's sad how many people, even the very young are rotten on the inside these days", I had to rethink about where you might be taking this story. PISH POSH! I'm ready for ANYTHING you can throw at me! And the 'GODS' be damned! OH!! *hugging myself*!! I-am-excited! And if you are 'nice' to *Blondie*, I'll throw a hug or two YOUR way also! Author's Response: Awww you sweetheart. I had to laugh when you said that you had to rethink where the story is going. Trust me no one at this point has ANY idea where this story is going. However, I will say one thing because I am a little concerned by the phrase you pulled out that you might get the wrong idea. There is absolutely NO underage sex whatever. In fact most of the protagonists are over 50 and the youngest person I think is 19... maybe 17 but defiitely no less. Ummm... Yeah, I'm very nice to him... umm... Yeah I like him a lot and I mean A LOT so I'll leave it to you to work out what is likely to be coming his way. On the upside he is absolutely f**king awesome. He's my second favourite character in the whole story. You haven't met my first yet... OH GOD he's so sweet he's edible. I just want to pick him up and hug him. You'll see Date: 10/27/2010 02:13 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Cia I love the twist of the enzymes that he can release into the body of his 'victms'. You did something similar in another story but took this to a whole other level and it totally works. I loved this story and I know everyone else will too! Author's Response: Thanks Cia, I really apprecaite your help on this one. I wasn't sure that I was even going to post it because it is just so weird. So thanks for making it happen. One of these days I will actually remember to thank you properly in the story notes. My memory is crap but that doesnt mean I'm not grateful Date: 10/27/2010 10:16 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Vicky interesting start, makes me curious to read more. Author's Response: Great, that's just what I wanted. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks for leaving a review Date: 10/27/2010 09:54 AM

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Clovis I always want to discover what stories are "about". I seldom know what mine are about till I've finished reading, and then discover others see other things in them. This tale is, among other things, about the redemptive power of love and it's essential presence if we are to hold onto our decency. Author's Response: Partly, yes. It's also about other things as you will find as the story unfolds. But yes, it's essence is love. What we are without love, how we change when we find love and, later, what we do in the name of love. Date: 11/12/2010 07:57 PM Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: phana14 What an amazingly erotic chapter, Nephy!! Good for you! And I'm not doing 'handstands' on the guardrails yet, but, DAMN,DAMN!! One thing that I did not understand was why would Luma "...consider bitterly the difference between Bridge and Daniel" (virgin Daniel)? I might have missed something, yes/no. Anyway, this is one fantastic story you have going here! I guess I will have to do a better job of keeping 'up' with it. Thanks, Nephy. Author's Response: It's because Daniel is virging and untouched and Bridge has been used and abused over and over and over. He's bitter about what Bridge has had to go through in his life. I'll try and get you doing those handsands soon Date: 11/12/2010 05:22 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: phana14 Well yes. It would appear that the devil is going 'soft'. I say--"LONG LIVE ASTARIA"!! If not for her the boys would remain in constant peril. Nephy, I realize that this is not your 'normal' *screams* story setting and so I am just going to wait for ch.7--and I know it's up now. And HAHAHA!! Ara has a flaccid penis!!! I'll be back. Author's Response: I hope for your sake that Ara doesn't read this review. HAHA. Nope, this is certainly not a normal story, I hope you're still liking it though Date: 11/12/2010 04:27 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: phana14 Nephy. The fun is totally gone from this--NOT YOUR STORY--just "this"!!! And I haven't even read chapter six yet. I'm going to read it now, as I just noticed that chapter seven is 'up'. and double damn Author's Response: What's up hun? Sorry to hear that you;re not having fun any more. Date: 11/12/2010 03:51 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm Not Alma. It's Luma! What the heck did I smoke? Oi! Author's Response: Whatever it is can I have some Date: 11/12/2010 10:01 AM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LoL I wish you wouldn’t hate me for this. Anyway, I’m risking my arse here. There you go. A looong review. I still need to feed and I don’t want to do it with Sacha tonight. I have something quite different planned. I ponder. Not just this paragraph. I’ve observed from other chapters and the other story I read (LIC) that… you lack diversity in writing style. I can see through it that you tell your story very honestly, and you can ‘feel’ your characters as if they were real. But, too much of the same thing is a sign that your writing isn’t ‘spiced’. For instance, “I still need to feed” can be made a little more colourful, like “blood lust is gaining momentum on me” or “the need to feed is boiling in me” or “it’s dinner time”, etc. Most of your sentence structures is like <I + verb + object >. A little more diversity (the right amount of spice) would make your pieces a little more entertaining. He stutters caught by surprise, something that is unusual for him. Grammar check? Also, what is unusual? Being caught by surprise or stuttering? I quickly climb the twisting staircase to the tower room and take a key from my pocket, fitting it into the lock on the heavy oak door. A tip about pacing. If you want to describe a quick motion, use fewer words and shorter sentences. Often, there are tradeoffs between the richness of details and appropriate pacing. I don’t find describing ‘taking a key from pocket’ necessary. In the light of the lamps the room comes to life and it is red. The circular room is lined with windows, all the way around, and every window is covered with drapes of heavy red velvet. The floor is carpeted with red and the rugs which lie on it are red and gold. Swathes of red and black silk tent the ceiling and the enormous carved oak bed is dressed with curtains of red velvet and linen of red and black silk. Wow. That’s great! But… there is a difference between describing a scene and letting a scene describe itself. The latter makes the reader feel that the scene is ‘alive.’ For instance, “In the light of the lamps the room comes to life and it is red” isn’t very visual. Consider two extremes – (a) The dancing ruby-red light of the lamps floods the room. ( The dark blood-red light of the lamps rises from death. They give ‘feelings’ of the scene, you see? Whether it’s cheery or creepy, you can use the scene to ‘set the mood’. Just my two cents. One of the reasons this room is red is to make it easier for Chancey to disguise the blood stains. I want to tell you this before when I read LIC, but I was afraid it sounded harsh. Now it’s a good time. Sometimes foggy description is better than clear sight. A great horror writer is one whose writing is understandable but ambiguous enough that each reader interprets the scenes in a way that scares them most. Stephen King sometimes doesn’t explain the action at all. He just explains the outcome, and let the reader’s imagination fly. I’m glad you’re moving towards that direction. I hear hesitant footsteps on the stairs. Ara is frightened, I can smell it. He has been here long enough to hear stories Try to avoid overuse of “I see”, “I hear”, “I smell”, etc. This is a first person’s point of view! If you must, then you may consider “Ara smells frightened” or something like that. Ara is dressed simply in black slacks and tshirt that makes his hair glow. With the red light of the room it is like burnished bronze and I can’t wait to run my hands through it. He hovers in the doorway, his eyes downcast, trying to look around the room without seeming as if he is. You spent more words explaining his clothes than his bodily and facial expressions? It makes me smile. He looks very young. So the Lord smiles at his young look? Or his naiveness? Slowly and deeply I stimulate him bringing him closer and closer to orgasm. For the time being, I guess the focus of writing in this paragraph is rising heat. Stick to that please. Orgasm is for the later. lick my way up his body, releasing my venom as I do so ensuring that his climax will be the most intense he has ever had. Wow. What a stunt. You mean the Lord can release his venom from his tongue? That’s hot! he cries out as the trembling increases ‘increase’? Please try a more intense word, ma’am. his body strains further and further towards release. I can’t visualise this. Strain as in uneasiness and nervousness and stress? A sex scene is best conveyed in visual writing, y’know. I lean forward and, with a kiss, impart oblivion. Sweet! Y’ know, postsex expressions show how much a man cares. You may have him Chancey. This resembles human trafficking. * sighs * I will support you in this and will endeavour never to come between you. But you must appreciate that all within this house are still mine to take and I will take them There’s a change in tone in here. The first sentence shows care. The second exhibits authority. I guess you need a transition. Chancey practically skips towards the door to the tower. Oiiii!!! I did expect that Chancey would stage a coup, betrayal or something when he had a chance (‘cause he didn’t like the latest round of promotions). He knows so much, and if he changes side, Alma has good reasons to worry. For now, besides Aqua and Chancey, I don’t think other characters pose a great threat to Alma yet. Um, if you don’t plan to have a trouble from within, then it has to come from the outside. In my bed you are my equal. LOL! Come to think of it, Alma has never been entered, right? Is the vampire going soft The heart or the dick, ma’am? Plotwise, the story has been, by and large, quite repetitive. Hunt – take a new pet home – sex, or pick up an existing pet – sex. I’m glad the hunting is over.. (at least until Aqua hunts for his own) because I wanna read new things. I’m really surprised to see that the story has gone beyond 20K words. It sounds like 5K words to me. Not sure whether it’s because I enjoy reading it a little too much, or because the plot isn’t very thick. Maybe both. Characterwise, Chancey and Aqua aside, Alma’s pets seem to share the same character. Maybe it’s just me. I’d love to see each pet’s unique personality, though. I’m also worried about the weight you give to each of your characters. Maybe you could invest a little more in character development of a few before throwing a large net over a group of characters? Anyway, Ciao for now. Author's Response: Wish granted. Why do you keep thinking that I am going to hate you for being helpful and useful? I 'see' my stories as a visual in my head and I describe what I see. Sometimes I assume too much and sometimes too little. It's always good to get an honest impression of my writing from all directions so to speak. It is always a great honour when someone takes enough interest in my work to write something like this and I am always grateful. So there you go. I'm not promising to change the way I write but I will take what you have to say on board and think about it when I write. I'm not going to tell you anything about what's coming up because I know you like spoilers but I will say that although my stories usually stick to very few characters this one doesn't. Ummmm... who's Alma? Date: 11/12/2010 04:57 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Clovis I have a theory that there's a subliminal message in your writing. The rape and pillage of once beautiful Wales - its forests and clear streams all destroyed, it's people enslaved and rendered miserable by the invading english in pursuit of wealth without compassion or conscience about the harm they were doing. Whatever... your powers of description are remarkable Author's Response: You know what, you could be right. I do kind of have a chip on my shoulder about it Thank you for your review. I so totally appreciate every comment from you good or bad as I feel it is an honour tobe reviewed by a writer I admire so much. Date: 11/11/2010 02:11 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Clovis This is astonishingly well written. A higher standard than most published fiction I've read recently. Shortish, sharp sentences. well paced storyline, intriguing plot. Just the right amount of detail and description. Author's Response: Hell darlin that was awesome. I am so glad you liked this story and that was HUGE praise from you. Glad to see you back Date: 11/10/2010 02:15 PM Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Cia I love the humanity that he is slowly gaining, though his sadistic nature is not yet totally overcome. He still likes fear and pain but is learning to value passion, happiness and love freely given more. I really like that theme throughout this story. Great chapter! Author's Response: Thank you Cia, yes, humanity (or should that be a different word?) is one of the themes. I'm glad you've brought it up. This is one of my favourite chapters, although there are lots of other favourites. Thank you for your comment and your support Date: 11/09/2010 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: phana14 re: chapter end notes. I am at a complete loss as to the meaning of that sentence. Author's Response: You should read more carefully Bridge is the new boy. And I love him loads. He is one of my favourite characters EVER but I am not going to tell you any more about him or the spoiler police will be slapping me hard. Date: 11/08/2010 09:17 AM Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm Can you be my pet please? LoL @ Mario. I think Luigi is a better name. Ha! :P Author's Response: I think that Luma is a closet gamer I don't know why Mario actually. I have no idea where it came from... it just was Date: 11/08/2010 05:48 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: bugeye What an autocrat Luma is, I wonder if Aqua will change his reality. I wonder if Aqua will share that vision. Author's Response: Wondering is good. Poor Luma has already had his world shaken up. He must be feeling decidedly unsettled. He takes it all in his stride though doesn't he Date: 11/07/2010 09:53 PM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm He is absolutely obedient, which is why I like him. --- hey hey hey.. I thought my lord loves a bit resistance. Don’t get me wrong Sacha, I will not tolerate envy or spitefulness again Aqua. --- again or against? LOL! This chappie has no sex scene. Ow! I think I smell something about the way you write about Chancey. Anyway, I wish a trouble or a war or some kinda physical tension comes soon. My lord needs a kick in the arse! Hahaha! Author's Response: I meant against of course Damn.... did I miss the sex out of a whole chapter??? I don't want you to get withdrawals I wonder what you smell.... I know that I attract a strong stench of bullshit quite often but I don't think I've dished much out yet Thank you so much for your comments. They always make me smile. Date: 11/05/2010 11:33 AM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LOL! There's sex in every chapter so far. Real harem. I love the premise that part of Aqua is part of Luma's lover's soul. But I don't think Luma would change into a gentleman any time soon. Bad habits die hard. Author's Response: You may be right. All depends how you define 'bad' though Date: 11/05/2010 10:13 AM Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: phana14 Oh you ARE an exciteing DEVIL!! Gods!! I have no idea where you are taking this, but ain't NOBODY getting my seat!! Nephy!! This story is so freaking *HOT*!! I'm outta here, but you can bet I'm coming back! Biggy hugs to you! Author's Response: I thought that one was quite tame. Thank you so much for your support and your review. Date: 11/03/2010 03:25 PM Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: bugeye The background info is intriguing. Very mystical. You capture my attention for sure. Nicely done. Author's Response: Yay, captuting your attention is awesome, keeping it is something else and I really hope that the story achieves that. Date: 11/03/2010 03:10 AM Title: Chapter 2 - Aqua Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LOL! I wish I had a similar harem. I'm pretty sure I'd be a better vampire playboy than he is. I don't need to inflict fear and enslave my boys. I can do some mastermind tricks and use positive reinforcements (yup, I'm angelically evil - or evilly angelic - I dunno hehe). For now I can breathe, 'cause I'm pretty sure you won't kill off Aqua any time soon. There's a mystery about Aqua (red eyes, surprising strength and willpower), and I bet that's gonna be your first trick/twist in the story. Author's Response: Hmmm.... some of it is explained in chapter 3, but you're right, there is a lot of mystery and surprises. Nothing is as it seems Date: 11/02/2010 09:38 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Anyta Sunday Ohhh, this is intriguing. There's something about the way he makes the boy docile and bend to his will that reminds me of a spider. *shudders. It's creepy, but the story is cool. Author's Response: Thank you Yeah, in a way it is spiderish, with the venom and everything. Thanks for the review. I hope you enjoy the rest of them Date: 11/01/2010 10:47 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm I like your stories, Nephy, but if you poison me with spoilers again, I may change my mind! Really! Author's Response: SLap me why don you Please Um... where is the spoiler? Date: 10/31/2010 01:09 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Greedy Algorithm LOL! I guess I should take a break from LIC and read something like this! I don't know how to compare the sickness between the two stories. LIC is about manipulating Nye's will, but this one is about forcing someone to do against his will. *sighs* Interesting plot there. I like your 'no ordinary' vampire friend. A bastard who likes to play with his prey. Hehehe Author's Response: It's only against their will right at the verys start. Trust me, very soon they will all be willing, very very willing. Haha... don't know if you actually like the stories or not but I like to think so... and don't you go calling my beautiful Luma a bastard. He may be a misguided soul but he does what he can and what he must and he's a real angel when you get to know him Date: 10/31/2010 09:53 AM