centexhairysub

I swear after the comments in the last story in the CAP series, you should all know who the father is going to turn out to me... The adventure will be connecting to that person. The emotions that young people are dealing with in regards to sex, love, and fear of everyone knowing is very powerful. It can be very hard to find someone to connect with at that age.

WOW, crappy way to find out that you are adopted; a little strange that the parents never mentioned it before... Matt is all over of the sexual taste meter; Blair from Facts of Life and President Clinton??? That is a weird combination...

Yea, those days of bj or whatever at 3:00 a.m. but walking the halls with a girl during the day... It is so funny to me to see how some of those in a certain segment of society act toward others. Often those that put on the most airs have the fewest reasons to do so...

After all the trauma of the last few chapters of 9/11; I so innocently came to Odyssey seeking a few enjoyable moments of calm... What a freaking mistake that was... We have this lovely chapter will Winkler really admitting and coming to terms with his feelings for Jacobs. We have Jacobs realizing that he did love Winkler. We have Winkler share the story of his past. We have them make love, not just have sex but actually make love. Then you drop a bombshell like that in the last line of the chapter???? Jacobs doesn't seem to be in any hurry to return to New York, he did have a chance to go back to the U.S. with Travers Sr. and did not take the oppertunity. Divorce was very rare back then, and never really done in the lower classes. There were a lot of abandoned spouses but I don't see Jacobs as the type. Does he have seven children, two dogs, and a cat as well???? You are a bad, bad man Mark Arbour... You are building up some really interesting Karma for the next turn of the wheel.

A WIFE, what do you mean a wife???? Here I was getting all misty eyed in a much more happy manner than the last few days and then, a wife... I guess since she is New York, again with the drama in New York, she is far enough away to not cause very many problems. Jacobs doesn't mention previously any desire to run home and he did have a chance to sail back to America; a marriage in name only???

Great job, I can actually put moments to most of the songs at least where they would make sense to me...

I cannot imagine how hard it was for you to write the last few chapters. I can imagine how hard it will be writting the next few with everyone getting over this tragedy. Although Robbie's death and the others were all hard to take, I want to take a moment to say thank you for doing such a superb job of writing that it pulled all of us into your world. I know this wasn't easy on anyone; I truly did have to take the day off today to recover from the last two chapters. That being said, I really felt there was a true cathartic moment reading the last three chapters that I experienced. I don't think I realized how much I had bottled up certain feelings about that day and the time right afterward but reading this story has helped me release some of them and work through some of the others... It takes a special skill for a writer to be able to do what you have done.

JP is a Rock Star... Stef is JP's perfect partner. Cody is gonna be around for a while. Brian isn't going to last, you can just tell...

You know, I think the family should have a chart drawn up and every new person that comes into contact with them should get a copy. It would save a lot of conversations...

Well, secrets are going to be tumbling out of the closet so to speak. I can't wait to see how everyone handles this. I really do think that Stef acted a little more on emotion then he should have. As we all know, just being blood does not make one family in the same way that others in this family have bonded. Wait, is that a shadow on the horizon???

Well, the chickens have certainly come home to roost... I can't wait for dinner at Escorial...

JP and Stef are so much like an old married couple that have been together for years. They just fit some seemlessly into each others lives. I have to admit that it brings a tear of joy to my eyes, they really do belong together...

I swear the second I read the conversation about Robbie sleeping with someone in Claremont, I just knew we were going to get back around to it... Casey is a lucky young man... Stef and the others are right, mothers like that are special and deserve to be recognized for it...

You know, even today with all the advances in modern forencics, the biggest reason people still get caught is because they open their mouth to someone. If you are going to bump someone off, do it yourself, and keep your mouth shut... Confession is not good for the freedom. WOW, Alejandro is just as ruthless as JP and at an even younger age...

It is always amazing to me that a parent blows off a child for whatever reason and then shows back up and just expects to take up where they left off as if nothing ever happened. They seem to think the kids are just objects that they can move around as they see fit; what is really scary is the legal system often views them the same way... I am glad that Casey and Alejandro are getting along. They are an interesting pair. I do wonder about Alejandro's reaction after he had been to see his father, something just wasn't quite right...

You know, no one, not even family has a way of surviving when they cross JP... I can't wait to see what happens with this. It maybe long and drawn out or it maybe over rather quickly, but it will be interesting...

To lose Marcel in the same way that Jeff died would just be to horrible to contemplate. I would not give much for Bruno's future no matter how this turns out... A friend for Alejandro... How exciting...

Stef always really had it easy when dealing with Brad or any of the kids. He always got to play the fun uncle without any of the responsiblities. I have a feeling he is going to have his work cut out for him for a while at least... Brad was always the most difficult child growng up. He was stubborn and wanted to be in control of every situation.

You know, it does amaze me that two gay men such as JP and Stef can end up with so many kids.... This one has his own baggage and history but I think it will work out. I am glad that Max and Marcel will end up back together. I am not sure it wll last forever but right now they are in the right place to be what each other needs...

I am so glad that we have two characters in JP and Stef that are secure enough in their relationship, even though it is just truly starting out, to know that being exclusive isn't who they are or what will keep them together.

Tim had been so serious and his comments so ongoing on this issue I really kept expecting one of the characters to yell out, " My God, I am sure that body that just fell past us falling into obllivion was Tony...".

OMG, I laughed so hard I damn near peed myself. I swear that is the first time in a week that I have really laughed. Thanks for the visual, Tim...

Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden (1907-1973) Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with the juicy bone. Silence the pianos and, with muffled drum, Bring out the coffin. Let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling in the sky the message: “He is dead!” Put crepe bows around the white necks of the public doves. Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my north, my south, my east and west, My working week and Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song. I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now; put out every one. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun. Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can come to any good.

Okay, this is going to be a long one today... I actually had to take the day off because I literally was up three-quaters of the night bawling; of course a silver linning to this is I have lost at least ten pounds in water weight.... I am going to start with the Danfield situation since that is the least emotional for me. I thought his death was almost comedic relief from the rest of the story; not that it was funny that anyone died in this situation but the way Mark wrote the scene was just priceless. I think Wade had really forgiven his father and the Senator had forgiven himself. They worked like hell to repair their relationship, almost as if they knew they did not have time to dawdle. Wade was in a good place with his father so his death will be hard but he can at least take comfort in the fact that they were in a good place. Beau was always more of a momma's boy so I don't think the Senator's death will affect him as much; and Mary Ellen is a demon in earthly cowl so it won't bother her at all. There is no way that the Republican Party would support Elizabeth taking the Senator's seat. She is way to damaged politically to be a vialbe candidate. On top of that, the Republicans that were starting to gather strength in Virginia and the south were very much holier than thou and they would find her personally repugnant. From comments above, several are assuming the divorce that was publically announced has not gone through but do we know this? If there is no contest to the divorce, and with all the information that the parties have, I can't believe there would be; then a divorce doesn't really take that long. So instead of a widow, she very well may be the ex-wife of the Senator. Even if she is a widow though, let's don't forget a few things: she has been publically ousted in a corruption scandal involving a sweetheart deal with campaign donors, a public scandal with her daughter being beaten, her stint in rehab, then a public play that the rehab did NOT work to cover up later misdeeds. Even a tearful mea culpa isn't going to get her forgivness from the Republicans, maybe the Democrats but not the Republicans... It would be complete idiocy for her to even attempt to move into a more direct role in politics. If her family did not get her than Alexandra still has those lovely pictures and I don't think anything would keep her from releasing them not even her own destruction... Of those Hayes's left in Claremont, I think Gathan will be most affected by Robbie's death. I could really see this pushing Gathan either into the military or something else as a way of honoring Robbie. Wally and his family will feel this on an emotional level but Brad and his family will make sure that the help that Robbie promised for the next generation of Hayes will be there and the promise kept, plus I am pretty sure that Robbie had a will and made provisions in it. I would hope that this would open the heart of Robbie's mother and brother but I suspect they will view it as his punishment for being gay... Maybe the sister will show back up, I don't think there has been any mention of here since at least the mid or late 80's. Claire and her family, yes even Marie, along with Ace and Cass will all have those special memories of Robbie that they will be able to remembe and treasure. They have a little distance and I don't think they will be as impacted by this as the rest. They will need to be there for those that are going to have a harder time surviving this tragedy. JP is safe and he will make sure something good comes out of this tragedy. He has probably already forgiven Stef and Brad for how they treated Will. JP will rally the family around those that are left and help everyone mourn those we lost. JP is a rock. I think with JP it will be almost as if he lost a son with Robbie's death. He took him in when he was still in high school and really helped to raise him. JP did not always understand Robbie's emotional side or outburst but he loved his loyalty, the love he showed his family, and the way he always fought for what he believed in. Stef had already realized his error and is on his way back to his old relationship with JP and Will both. He will help Brad deal with his loss and in doing so will be able to accept the loss he feels as well. Robbie was almost like a step-child to Stef. Sure, he was Brad's partner but Robbie was the person that Greg most closely tied himself to. Robbie was in some ways an extention of Greg. Stef will question some of the things that he put Robbie through the last year or so; but will come out realizing that even though they may have fought each other, they cared about to many of the same people not to have stayed close to each other... They were family... Frank is going to be devestated by Robbie's death. The picture that keeps running in my head is how Barry was after Billy Schulter was killed when he was describes as just hollowed out. We know that Frank has some health issue and I hope this doesn't make them worse. I hope that Isidore will be able to help him recover. Isidore will be sad, a child she helped to raise is gone; but her real touchstone will be Frank's grief. Matt will be sad, I think he truly cared about Robbie but I don't think it will be like Wade losing the Senator. I don't think Matt ever really had that father/son bond with Robbie, to him Robbie was almost more like that favorite uncle or big brother that was always so much fun to be around and do stuff with. Matt was really almost a fully formed adult before he even knew about Robbie or set out to find him. Matt already had a father when he found Robbie, what Robbie did was give him a sense of his past and who he was and the freedom to embrace it. I do worry how much this will wear on his relationship with Wade. I was never sure after Wade slept with Brad if Matt ever really got over that, or how much it seemed to mean to Wade. Darius is going to have to deal with the fact that he did not try harder to keep Robbie from going back up. If anything moves Darius to make a real life change, it will be losing Robbie like this. I thought it was very copacetic how Darius watching the tragedy in the tower as it collapsed and Robbie in the tower both said " Holy Shit " at basically the same time... Robbie was always the one that Darius was closest to and I think his death will hit him harder than any of the younger generation. Much like Billy felt lost after Sam left, I worry that Darius will feel lost and disconnected from the family without Robbie there. JJ got a double whammy. He not only lost Jeanine, who had always been his parent, so to speak, but also Robbie who had taken her place when Jeanine started to have issues. Even though they were semi-estranged, I think Jeanine was still the most important person in JJ's life. This is going to take a while for him to process but after everything with his coach and now this; he will either double down on skating and make it his whole life, or he will just walk away from it... Will is going to have to be stonger and more grown up then he ever thought he could be. He is going to have to deal with his feeling on losing Jeanine, just when they seemed to be getting to a good place; Hank, who Will actually had bonded with and really cared for; and Robbie, who he finally had begun to really appreciate in a more adult setting. While Will cared for Hank more than anyone else in the family he will have the easiest time dealing with her loss, after all she was only in his life for less than a year. I think with Jeanine it will be harder. Will and Jeanine had come so far in repairing their relationship but they still had so much left to work on. I think Will is going to have some real issues to deal with the unresolved issues between he and Jeanine. The fact that Jeanine asked Will to take care of Maddy will mean a lot to Will though and that may help some. I think Will had always resented Robbie some for taking so much of Brad's personal family time from him. I think some of that was never really resolved but buried just beneath the surface of a lot of their issues. That being said, Will and Robbie had really begun to form an adult relationship that seemed to work for them much better than the adult/child dynamic that they had labored under for so long. I think that like Darius, Will is going to have some guilt for not pushing Robbie to stay with them some, but I can see him dealing with it better than Darius is going to. Will is also going to have to deal with Brad's reaction to all of this. I can actually see Will being pissed after the fact that Brad kept trying to drag Jeanine into the fight between them. Brad's behaviour really hindered some of the time that Will and Jeanine had in overcoming their differences. I am going to be interested in seeing how he copes with this anger on top of the grief. Plus, Will will work to keep his promise to Robbie to help Brad recover from Robbie's death. Will is going to have to deal with a couple of auxillary issues as well. The fact he was in the tower when it was hit, is going to give him a weird cult status when he gets back to school. It will be interesting to see how this plays out with him; Will doesn't really like to be the center of attention but in this case he really can do nothing about it. The other issue is I can really see Will being the nexus for how the different parts of the family, the different generations of the family, and even the different families in the CAP universe come together to deal with this tragedy. I don't even know where to start with Brad. Losing a partner is almost like losing a part of your own body; you almost cannot physically or emotionally function in the immediate aftermath. Add the fact that he and Robbie and been fighting, that he was trying to drag Jeanine into his battle with Will, when they should have been working on repairing their relationship, and his constant need to control everything; this could be a disaster waiting to happen. What I am hoping is that he will realize after an appropriate period of time is that quilt is debilitating and he will seek help in dealing with it. I hope that he realizes that his constant need for control is not about protecting his family but is a way to keep himself from getting hurt. What I hope is that he realizes how much he has to live for and how much love he has to give and how much there is to receive from his family and friends... Brad is going to try and be there for everyone but what I hope he comes to know is how much he needs everyone to be there for him. Brad will either try to stay the course himself and come out of this so wounded he will never fully recover; or he will finally grow up and realize he can't be JP and will be stronger for admitting others more fully into his life. Robbie was foolish, proud, whiny, strong, wishy-washy, decisive, stubborn, loyal, and a full mass of contraditions; he was fully human. In some ways Robbie was the most complex and fully developed of all the characters in the CAP universe. We all saw something in him that was in ourselves; that either made us connect to him that much more closely or be just that much more pissy about him. Robbie had the most intense and realistic relationship with all those around him. He loved his family fiercely, which made the fights just that much more dramatic and powerful. He fought for what he believed in, even when no one else thought he was right. Robbie was the grown up in his relationship with Brad because Brad has never really finished growing up. Robbie was either a pillar of strength or a punching bag depending on what those around him needed. Robbie was real. The decision that Robbie made to go back up after Jeanine and Hank was just who he was. He made sure that Darius, Will, and Maddy were down to the point that they would be able to get out without his help; then he made a decision to go back after the rest of his family because for Robbie blood did not make a family, what was in your heart did. Robbie was many things but in the end; he was a hero....

I still have my fingers in my ears, my eyes closed, and my head shaking NO NO NO...