JamesSavik

Angry Flashback _________________________________________- When Lee left me, I was crushed. I didn't take it so well. I felt like he was my last chance at being with someone. I begged him to talk to me but it didn't work. He hooked up with a chick that was a real piece of work. She knew that Lee's family was loaded so she latched on to him for the ride. It took a little while for me to figure something out: if he did come back, how could I ever trust him again? After all, the night before we had wild hot outrageous sex and the next day when I got home after work, he was gone. No note, no explanation, nothing. Just gone. It took a while to get over the hurt but I learned a hard lesson. I didn't want his cowardly @ss back. He was afraid of who he was and he was hiding behind a golddigger so he could get back on the family gravy train. Well, that was 10 years ago. He's divorced, bald and fat now and as far as I'm concerned, he can f* himself. I wouldn't take that cowardly piece of dung back if he shat gold bars and pissed champaign. He didn't talk to me because he was ashamed of what he did. He knew that it was weak and cowardly to cave in to his redneck parents for money. He didn't have the guts to face me. As much as it hurt, I don't need that. I'm glad that he's gone and that he didn't stick around to betray me when something came up that really mattered. Yeah. I'm mad. I've been out since I was 13 and taken the heat for it. Full grown men that are cowardly little bitches just piss me off. ****Sorry. This triggered an issue that I've still got issues with. I'm not mad at Green, Chaz, Julio or anybody here. Once I got rolling, it kinda just came out. Guess I needed to talk about it. Sorry for being an angry jerk in your blog Green. I hope it works out for you man.

I must admit to waking up with my shoes on because I was too blasted to remember when I went to bed. I don't do that any more. My liver sent me a note and threatened to leave me for an Irishman. I once had a str8 roommate who would come home all wasted an falling down. He said he was so glad I was gay because none of his str8 friends wouldn't take care of him like I did when he came home messed up like 12 lab rats. He used to say you're not going to take advantage of me are you? I'd say you'll know if you wake up walking funny.

My Dad had a heart attack in the early 90s. He made a lot of changes afterwards and paid close attention to the docs and now he is healthier than he was before the heart attack. He exercises everyday, eats right and has his cholesterol way down. They didn't give him much of a chance either. -JS

"We have boyfriends!" Take care pal.

Oh yeah.... Keep writing in you blog. Writing is funny that way. The more you do of it, the easier it gets and the better you get at it.

Ummm... not crap per see but needing work. There are a number of elements that have to come together for a story to work. First is imagination. Without it, everything is gray and we would all wear burlap moo-moos and that would just suck. Second is passion. Without it, there there is no fire to create. Third is energy. Without it, the words stay in your head and never make it to paper. Fourth is courage. The courage to try and take the risk of failure.. or success. Fifth is mechanics and execution. That can be learned and in a way, it is the easiest part. The fifth is the only part that I found lacking and it is the easiest to fix. Please let me know what you think of Leaves & Lunatics by EleCivil. Keep at it. There's a story in you and it'll bug you until you get it out. -JS

All of my sincere best wishes for you and your family Dave. -JS

:dances jig: I can't wait! If you need a proofreader, just yell at me.

No disrespect to everybody's favorite pup Snowie but I'm a cat person. They are entirely too lazy to chase you. Your sister's car has a fairly common problem. I would have to know the model and year to give you a better diagnosis. It could be one of several things but it sounds like a tune up is in order. If it's an older car, there may be carbon deposites in the engine. If it is a newer car, the computer may need adjustment. Either way, it is no good for the engine and it needs the attention of a good mechanic or a bad exorcist. -JS

Hey Green, Thanks for letting us know that you are home and OK. Sometimes the pain of a breakup can be just the muse that you need to stimulate your literary/artistic side. Just a thought. OK, a perhaps a selfish one from the shameless fanboy in me, but it helps me to put that emotional angst somewhere positive. Oh yeah- when you talk to your friends, they should understand that you needed a little time to yourself (as long as you aren't spending that time under a bridge with a bottle of cheap wine). -JS

"The Ordinary Us" Rating: (on a scale of 1 to 10) 8.5 Favorite Character(s): Jude/Taylor Why?:(what did you like about the character(s)?) Both Jude and Taylor had come from "f-ed up home situations" and had taken their lumps for their sexuality BUT they didn't use that as an excuse to be losers. Least Favorite Character(s): Mr. Johns/Jude's Mom Quinn's Ex girlfriend Whats-her-name Why?:(what did you dislike about the character(s)?) Mr. Johns is typical of 1950ish bigotry. Jude's mother was a piece of feces for treating her son like she did Whats-her-name was completely forgettable because she was so self-centered and self-absorbed Best Moment: Jude and Quinn woke up in Jude's apartment and Taylor was a lump on the sofa. Loose Ends?:(anything you're unsure about or left you confused) Taylor was one of my favorite characters. He was a personality well worth exploring and I was left hoping something good would happen for him. Comments on the Story: I liked the mixture of good and bad. Sure, some coming out experiences will be good if you pick your friends well, some of it will be awkward and some will be bad. It is important as authors that we don't paint too rosy a picture of this process because it can be misleading and dangerous. Dom did an excellent job with Quinn's emotional states: denial, surprise, confusion, anger, depression, etc. Most gay people that have been there will instantly recognize the truth in it.

SB: Okay, so I need my meds. I'm being a little of-the-wall tonight. If you weren't bouncing off the walls SB, we wouldn't know what to think. Take care, have fun and have a hot cross-country guy sandwich.

Dom: okay, I

Green- As sad as it is, a lot of us have been there. When it happened to me, I took a few days off to collect myself. A couple of friends took me under their wing and helped to drag me out from under the funk that I was in. Try not to isolate yourself, that's what friends are for. -JS

To Ghostrydr :2hands: & his tech Real life has an wretched sense of humor when it comes to our plans. I know- I'm from Mississippi and I can't go 10 feet without tripping over Katrina's debris. I just wanted to drop you a line and say: a) thanks for the story so far! I understand about real life c) I'll be around when you guys are back and ready. All my best wishes to you guys as you get things sorted out. If I may be so bold, JS PS- Maybe the Unit can be tasked for diaster relief in an upcoming chapter!?

Oh Green sweetie, I know exactly how much that sucks. I got "left" by a boyfriend in '95 after a short, passionate affair of 6 months or so. It took me THREE times six months to get over it and feel desirable again. In fact, my life is segregated BL "Before Lee" and AL "After Lee". Now is the time that your friends need to rally too you but- beware of reflex to jump in a rebound relationship before you are ready.

Would the evil overlords let us make hamburger out of them?

Satanists,Baptists Fundamentalists*, what's the difference? Any time a bunch of people think that they have a special hotline to a Deity and a monopoly on the truth, they become dangerous. *- My apologies to Baptists, some of them aren't raving fundamentalists.

Dom- I finally finished The Ordinary Us. It's GGGGGGREAT Quinn was a little whiney for my tastes and I just couldn't see what Jude saw in him but each to his own. Cheers, JS That had nothing to do with your rant but there's nothing like a little praise to make you feel better.

That's really all for today. I didn't have to deal with the stupid annoying lutheran all day. Lutherans usually aren't obnoxious. Typically they're pretty mellow. It's Baptists that mill around waiting to become angry mobs with pitchforks and torches. Such a lot of bother over a little witchcraft.

Must...obey...evil...cat...overlords

Dom- The gray cat honors you with the oppertunity to take him in and feed him two cans of fancy feast every day for the rest of his hairry life. It is an honor after all. Cats pick their people and they are very good judges of character. They know which humans can be trained and which ones can not. -JS Oh BTW- gray cats are omens of good fortune in several mythologies. Who knows. It could be the spirit of a literary agent.

I think that we're better for the effort.

Student Suspended After Wearing Penis Costume KIROtv.com October 20, 2005 STEILACOOM, Wash. -- A Steilacoom student is fighting a decision by school officials to suspend him for three days after he appeared in an inflatable penis costume outside another school's homecoming dance, KIRO 7 Eyewitness News reported. Pioneer Middle School student James Watkins bought the costume last weekend and later showed up outside a dance at Steilacoom High School wearing the outfit. His parents described Watkins as a straight-A student, an athlete and a "good kid" who made a mistake. They said the three-day suspension, along with a sexual harassment citation, are too severe. "He wasn't even on his own school grounds," said Mark Watkins, his father. "Poor decision, I agree. Disciplinary action? I agree. I think they went way too far." "The thing I felt was wrong was that they weren't giving us any rights for a first offense," said Lori Watkins, James' mother. "I don't like the sexual harassment on there. That really bothers me." The family has spoken with representatives of the American Civil Liberties Union about possible legal action in the case. District officials said they disagreed, but wouldn't talk about the incident because of student confidentiality. ________________________________________________________ This just goes to show that it doesn't pay to be a dick.

SB- Simple people want simple answers and are mightly pissed off when you shatter their illusions. It's EASY to give all power to a mysterious supernatural entity in the sky. Far easier than taking responsibility for your own life. When you screw up, you can say it was God's will which is a whole lot easier than saying Opps, I was wrong. A whole lot easier than actually trying to understand.