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Bender's blog

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Entries in this blog

What am I, 15 years old again?

I don't usually like to talk about guys in terms of "types"--it seems unnecessarily reductive. But, if I must say that I have a type, I would say that I like my guys extra gay.   You know what I mean. I like them on the nellie side, I like them sparkly, I like them singing musicals and quoting RuPaul's Drag Race and wearing skin-tight pants because for so many years of my life I pined for the straight ones and broke my own heart with it.   I came out fully the summer before college, not beca

Bender

Bender

Mistakes I'm making as I write this

I'm unlucky in love. Don't feel sorry for me--it's by and large my own fault. But it still sucks.   There's that old fable about a dog that, by some stroke of luck, found a piece of meat and was carrying it home to eat it. When he crossed a river, he mistook his own reflection for another dog with a better treat, and opened his mouth to bark at the other dog. He dropped his own meat into the river, and for all that greed and dissatisfaction was left with nothing. 6-year-olds the world over hav

Bender

Bender

Life bursting forth from my fingertips.

"I think we should stick to being friends," he said, his brow furrowed with fake concern, and with what little control I could get about me I smiled weakly at him, showing the fatigue in my eyes. "I'm sorry," he followed, "I hope this is okay?"   "I understand completely, and it's fine," I said, although I didn't understand, and I certainly didn't feel fine. All I wanted was for him to leave my apartment, but I still had to see him twice weekly, so I had to save face for just a little longer

Bender

Bender

thoughts on life

I found a dimpled spider, fat and white, On a white heal-all, holding up a moth Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth- Assorted characters of death and blight Mixed ready to begin the morning right, Like ingredients of a witches' broth- A snow-drop spider, a flower like froth, And dead wings carried like a paper kite.   What had that flower to do with being white, The wayside blue and innocent heal-all? What brought that kindred spider to that height, Then steered the white moth th

Bender

Bender

Spicy chips and the Catholic Church

I rather like Cross Country now. Why, you ask? Because of a boy, exactly like everything in my life. There is a totally cute freshman on the team and now I look forward to practice. Sadly, I've only seen him once, and I've never spoken with him. Yet I fully intend to talk to him as soon as I can.   We're going out of town tomorrow, to God Damn New Mexico. I hate New Mexico, and I am NOT looking forward to this, especially because we get back on my birthday. Great way to spend a birthday

Bender

Bender

Prenup? WTF?

You know what the best part of summer vacation is? I don't have to get dressed until like 5 in the afternoon, when my sister comes home from her job . I'm basically wandering around naked all the time .   You know what the worst part of summer vacation is? I have nothing to do except sit around and watch tv. Well, and read "With Trust", of course.   Mmmmmmm a commercial with Brad Pitt in it just came on . God, this is the most boring entry I have ever made. Why am I still talking?

Bender

Bender

more about my crazy mother

We went to our lake house over the weekend because it was memorial day weekend and we always do. Well, my lovely mother forgot to clean out the freezer the last time we were there (which was in September) so there was an appetizing mixture of decaying hamburger meat and Italian sausage in the freezer. Mmmmm delicious. The smell would NOT go away, no matter what we did. And as much as I love an Italian's sausage this was gross.   Speaking of an Italian's Sausage (I swear this is related, it

Bender

Bender

disobeying my mother

As much as I love the woman, my mother is crazy. When she found out that I had been coming to this site, she directly forbade it. Oh well. That was like three months ago, and I have stayed away as long as I can without exploding. And as I am sure that no one wants slaveboy guts all over them, we had better avoid any exploding.   So hello to everyone! I see that things have changed a lot here at GA. What all have I missed? So far I have met many new people, most importantly Patrick .

Bender

Bender

Have you ever been in love?

I've never been in love, and that greatly saddens me. However, I am in lust with FFBF, and while he was singing Maroon 5 songs to me at the competition on Saturday, I realized that all I ever feel towards someone is one of three things: lust, hate, or indifference. Well, usually. With him, it was both at the same time for a while. Strange.   It has been forever since I blogged. I just haven't been in a very bloggy mood lately. So, ummmmmm what's new in my life? There is a new song by Ti

Bender

Bender

I need something to bitch about

So, I read Snow Dog's and Nick's blogs tonight, and they both have problems in their lives, and it made me realize how lucky I am. I mean, I really don't have any problems right now. Well sure, I had problems in the past, but they are staying in the past. And my mom may be a little crazier than your average shithouse rat, but she stills love me to death. So in essence right now I am complaining about having nothing to complain about. Ironic, eh?   In other news, I have a new name for Assh

Bender

Bender

I hate Rory

It's been a while since I posted. My life has been extremely uneventful lately.   The episode of CSI Thursday night made me cry. It inspired me to begin writing a tear-jerker. Well, begin another one. I've already started like three. That's about all that has happened. I don't have to take my English final becuase I exempted it. I am happy. I am sad that I had to go back to school, though. dk;fbjkfjkag;ikbnfngnerkbuir.   -psychic psychopath

Bender

Bender

Things I love

1. Faith Hill 2. Chocolate Chip cookies 3. Music 4. Singing 5. Domluka 6. Viv 7. Snow Dog 8. Fall Out Boy (Their earlier works) 9. Broadway musicals 10. Livechat 11. my iPod shuffle 13. Asshole team captain 14. Matt Pazcastillo 15. Janice Joplin 16. Crystal Gale 17. Natasha Bedingfield 18. Tim Micgraw 19. My biology teacher 20. Hot chocolate 21. Marbles (they are delicious) 22. saying "Your mom's face!" 23. Pissing people off 24. Writing songs 25. I can't think of anyth

Bender

Bender

I really don't feel like blogging.

Hello all. It's been a while. I discovered two new songs that I love to death. "Dark Blue" by Jack's Mannequin and "The only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage" by Panic at the Disco. Things are awkward here at home right now because some major drama has been happening between my mom and my sister. It seems that my mom gives my sister anxiety (she had a really bad anxiety attack yesterday) so they're fighting like crazy.   Not what I need right now. I don't feel g

Bender

Bender

2nd blog of the night

So I'm on such a sugar/caffeine high right now that I had to add this.   I skipped dinner tonight because I felt like shit (read previous blog entry). About fifteen minutes ago I got REALLY hungry so I decided to sneak downstairs and steal some food real fast. Well, I get down there, and first off I must get myself a Dr. Pepper. So I get one. Then, I start digging through the frig, and I find these weird pepper things that look pretty good. So I eat one. They are hotter than jalapenos.

Bender

Bender

No more iPod while running

So I strapped on my iPod Shuffle and went for a little run just now, and by the time I was done with my fourth mile I felt like shit. Well, I go inside, and the reason I felt so bad was because I ran the four miles in 30 minutes, which is ten minutes faster than I usually do. In fact, I had no idea I could even do that. So I blame the music.   Jesse is back from vacation! Yay!   I saw the chronicles of Narnia today. It was good. But the best part of going and seeing it was the previews

Bender

Bender

Santa bring me a trip to D.C.

Yay Christmas! My family always opens the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve and then we get presents from Santa on Christmas morning. I am really wanting a trip to Washington D.C. for Christmas. I'll not be getting it. Oh well.   So, I got two really cool watches, some coasters (my mom thinks she is really funny), a Terri Clark CD, t-shirts, sweaters, and DVDs, but sadly no underwear with the hot guys on the front. Oh well, there's always next year.   The worst part about all o

Bender

Bender

I'm hungry.

I eat a lot, just so all of you know. I have a naturally high metabolism, and I run every day, so I eat more than anyone else on the planet. Well, we went to nothing but noodles for dinner tonight, and it was absoutely delicious, but now I'm hungry. The problem is that I'm too lazy to go get any food. That would require standing up and walking to the fridge, and that's just a messy process that I don't want to get involved with.   I got a haircut . I love(d) my hair, and now some of it

Bender

Bender

Christmas break at last

I'm skipping cross country practice right now because I feel like shit, so I can't run, but I felt good enough to make this entry. I am officially free from school until January 4th, which is when the scrooges of the world are making me go back.   We had an academic team Christmas party, which was a lot of fun. We played dirty santa, and people kept stealing my presents, which sucked because I got two really good presents the first two times I picked new ones. Then it was up to me to either

Bender

Bender

your mom's face!

So, I had a startling realization today. I was talking to this girl who is on academic team with me, and the evil team captain has decided that we need to get our coach a Christmas Present, which I'm fine with, but this girl said that I need to ask him...let's call him Frank...about what to bring, I think it was five dollars or something.   So I say, "No. I don't talk to 'Frank'".   And she says, "Why don't you talk to 'Frank'?"   And So I'm like, "Because he's a super arrogant butthole.

Bender

Bender

The Angry deck of Cards

I'm still having a hard time with entry titles, so I just used "The Angry deck of Cards". Boring. But then again, my life is boring, so oh well.   We had a test over the Odyssey in English class today, and there was the world's most ambiguous essay question at the end of it. However, I did quite well on it I think because I rock at bullshitting my way through everything. And bullshitting is really all that writing is; making something out of nothing.   So, the reason that a certain someo

Bender

Bender

This is hard

Thinking for a title to each entry is not easy. It kinda stinks, to tell you the truth. Does anyone agree with me? I hope some of you do. Maybe I'll just throw random letters. Like this: geioauhr, iwoejens, Martin Luther...   Umm, so, Life is going well right now. Except that I found out that I might not be going to the science bowl this April. Which sucks on every level because I realy wanted to go, but we "usually don't take freshmen out of state." Which is retarded, because I'm bet

Bender

Bender

Where do you keep the cigarettes?

Ok, I've been asking the aformentioned question all day today in my oh-so-perfect two-pack-a-day voice. It made my sister laugh so hard she almost peed herself. Just imagine a fourteen-year-old kid with a gay-sounding lisp and somewhat high pitched voice asking that. I sounded like a Russian Prostitute.   So, I finished a story that I've been working on for quite some time earlier today. Head on over to The Domaholics forum and check it out under "Member Poetry and Short Stories". I hope

Bender

Bender

The haircut from Hell

Mephostopheles himself attacked the haircutter that gave Hot Cross Country guy this haircut. Well, I guess that's being a little dramatic, but it's seriously the ugliest haircut ever. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still really hot, but the hair was kinda the icing on the cake for his beauty. I almost cried when I saw it.   We had many academic team competitions this week, which I rock at. But, I am pissed at the varstiy team captain, becuase we had a competition where there is a compute

Bender

Bender

tummy ache

I just drank some hot chocolate with marshmallows and cinnamon and powdered sugar (my favorite!) but now my tummy hurts a lot. I've never actually said stomach ache, it's always been tummy ache.   Oh my! I just burped really loud and now my stomach doesn't hurt any more. Wow, burping helps. I'll have to remember that.   I like analytic geometry a lot. That's the kind with the coordinate plane, that combines algebra and geometry. Did you know that you can plot (almost) any equation on t

Bender

Bender

Bust out the purple candle, bitches

It's Advent! You know what that means; only four (five, technically) weeks until Christmas. So it's time to light the first purple candle in the Advent wreath. Boy, the Catholic church has a lot of silly traditions. Like Easter.   Our Chrsitmas tree is now up and decorated. It took a while, but I at least had the help of my sister. However, Christmas lights are still demonic. They just decide to stop working occasionally, and then you have to take the whole string off only to find that

Bender

Bender

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