JamesSavik

I used to be horrible at it- horrible about pulling them. The more creative the prank the better. Don't Never, EVER pass out drunk at a party. You're just asking for it. Forget the danger of being violated. You'll get pranked to death. One of my buddies got too trashed at a super bowl party (Giants-Bills) and went to sleep sitting up, head back, mouth open. Ingenious drunks that we were, had a Polaroid- We took a picture of him sitting there with our dicks out in his face. He looked like he was in heaven, head back, eyes closed dick-topia. Ever make a fake turd? It's easy- just get a cigar and a little peanut butter. Place fake turd in strategic place, wait for explosion. This one is a little dangerous. A classic prank is wait in a friends shower with a Friday the 13th Jason mask on. Just hope they don't have fire arms. You just might get pissed on. This one has to be done with lab work. There is a chemical reaction that creates methane- the gas that powers farts. Won't say what it- it's common. Any High School lab has the stuff to make fart-in-a-bottle pretty easy. It is heavier than air- unless its hot so you can put it in a bottle cold and put it in your pocket, let it warm up and you got fart-grenade-in-a-bottle. What you do with it depends on just how evil and creative you are. I used three to disrupt a Baptist revival meeting my parents forced me to go to run by none other than Jimmy Swaggert himself. It's OK, the statute of limitations has run out on that one. Run away! The foul flatulence demons are upon us!

After I sweated that junk out of my system and figured out what happened, I never fooled with it again. Oh there were plenty of other drugs around, but didn't make that mistake again.

It was that little dash of crack that made it so deliciously addictive.

Jeff beneath the stain of time the feeling disappears you are someone else I am still right here what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end -Trent Reznor, NIN Hurt I hurt myself sometimes. When people ask me why I'll tell them that I'm clumsy. If they are more insistent, I tell them that I don't know why. I really do know. The burn here or the cut there is a distraction. It let's me focus on something so I don't have to feel what's rea

Two lonely, hurt kids discover love and together find healing and self-worth again.

I had a story like that. Everyone that read it thought I was really disturbed. They were probably right. Until the right people read it. Turned out it wasn't half bad. It even ended up in an anthology. The Cool Green Sea

I live in hopes it's so. TLC used to be good. Now it is The Lame Channel.

I just don't have it in me. I have experienced enough real pain to know that I don't like it and, am mortified(good Southern word) at the thought of causing pain to others- especially someone I like enough to want to roll around with. The idea of being out of control gives me cold sweats so trying to tie me up would be like trying to give a cat a bath. It could probably be done but no one would enjoy the experience. Leather? No. Just.. no. I'm just not kinky that way. My big S&M fantasy? Rescuing the poor guy that's tied up. Picking him up, carrying him away to some place nicer where I can experience his gratitude. That doesn't work either. He liked being tied up. I actually searched for S&M for Dummies. That was no help. Then after a few more searches, I was like Maybe there are frontiers that I probably shouldn't explore.

We are and we aren't. It's a fascinating duality. I remember when I was much younger going out hunting. I would go to a club and nail the best looking guy in the place. Yeah- it was an ego trip. It was a little game I used to play with myself. What the heck- it was the early 80s. Before HIV. I won't say how often I won but you can't score if you don't play. Do you know what my huge, kinky S&M fantasy is? To rescue the poor bastard that's tied up. I got to do it once and he asked me- why did you do that? It is difficult to be the White Knight when they really want to be tied up.

I have forgotten where on the net I found it but a few years ago I read a history of the way attitudes have changed about sex crimes over the years. If you look at it graphically, prosecution of sexual abuse was very rare back in the day. Things only started to change in the late fifties and sixties and the numbers began doubling every few years. It was often handled just like the Catholic Church handled it. Perps were given an ultimatum- get out of town or face charges. Only exceptionally egregious cases went to trial. No one was comfortable with it and the cop out was often- we don't want to put the minor through an additional trauma. It was something that "nice people didn't talk or think about". So much was white washed it's nauseating to even think about. Sex crimes and the knowledge of them spread during the seventies and turned into real hysterical witch hunts in the eighties. (Yes they were looking for child molesting witches Day Care Sex Abuse Hysteria) The real watershed was the passage of Megan's Law in 1994 which created the current sex offender registration system. It took us a long time to get where we are today. There was a ton of difference in attitudes from decade to decade.

I'm not going to praise Paterno but, I think I understand him. Men of his generation were particularly poorly suited to handle any issue that had anything to do with sex. They were taught that nice people didn't even say the word. The way Reagan handled the AIDS epidemic is a prime example. He delegated it and went completely with the advice of experts. C. Everett Coop(SG) pretty much ran the whole show at the cabinet level. Reagan didn't even say the word AIDS in a speech until 1988- the final year of his presidency. My own Dad had no idea how to handle me. We NEVER talked about it. Talking about it would have made it real. If he just saw something he didn't like, he would smack the shit out of me. Finally, the way he dealt with it was avoidance. He took a job with a lot of travel involved and we just weren't around each other. We can blame these men but I'm not sure we should. In many ways they were outstanding. This was their weakness and blind spot. It was how a whole generation of men were raised to act, think and believe.

I like the new character. I'm sure he's handsome and intelligent with such a noble name.

If you are reading Step 12, this goes with Chapter 2, Dope Sick.

Free me, leave me Watch me as I'm going down Free me, see me Look at me I'm falling And I'm falling......... Not an Addict by K's Choice I sat down on the sofa by the dope sick kid. He was shaking a little and asked, "How long does it last?" "It depends on a lot of things. How long you've been using, how much, exactly what you've been using and then your body mass and a few other things. If you're lucky, it could be over in a day or two." The doorbell rang announcing that Travis and

Every author has days like that.

Listen to this while you are reading Step 12.

I've seen the needle and the damage done A little part of it in everyone But every junkie's like a settin' sun. The Needle and the Damage Done by Neil Young I was ahead of schedule. The outlet mall was supposed to open in April and I had my part of the job finished in February. I got the last stores computers, phones, fax machine and point-of-sale terminals done and knock off a little before three. Visions of my sweet, sweet bonus were dancing in my head as I drove home. Life for a fre

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to other addicts, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

Welcome again. I knew you were interesting and, I'm almost never wrong about these thing.

Ding, ding ding! We have a winner!

1. Ignoring the Obvious- It is said that love is blind. It makes us overlook tiny little flaws like say... alcoholism. 2. Thinking he will change for me- no, he won't. In some cases, you can expect it to get much worse and take you down with them. 3. I have to take it because I can't do any better- without any self esteem or confidence, you probably won't. You won't get either staying in an abusive situation. 4. I need a relationship- are you ready for one or is it a security blanket you hide behind? You can't stand together if you can't stand alone. 5. Forgive and forget- resentments poison relationships. 6. Don't expect your partner to read your mind- unless you are dating Professor X. You must communicate. 7. Don't take him for granted- there's little worse than being lonely in a relationship. Give him the gift of your self as often as possible. 8. Remember the romance- little touches go a long way to keeping the magic alive. 9. Make time for each other- it's how you grow together. 10. Be sure to play together a little every day- it never gets old that way and it keeps you young.

This originally appeared back in 2011. Brought it back for laughs. What can I say. I work hard for my readers.

The Athlete OK. You can stand the competitiveness to get next to those pecs and abs. It's not that he looks like a Greek god chiseled out of marble that turns you on about him. It's that dreamy look in his eye. It takes you a while to figure out that when he gets that dreamy look, he's thinking of somebody else. Mr. Perfect No. He's not a wrestler except in the sack. Mr. Perfect is everything you always wanted... except for the cheating and the clap. The Hipster Like anyone that has ever fed a tom-cat, you gave him sex once and now you own him. Unlike the tom-cat, you can't drop him off at the pound. The Cute Dumb One You can't help but fall in love with the cute dumb one. His vulnerability is so appealing. It takes dating him a while to figure out that he'll be a high maintenance life long project. Trade in on a red neck or a geek. At least they can fix your car/computer. The Buddy It's inevitable. Everybody makes the mistake of sleeping with one of their buddies. Problem is that weirdness factor afterwards. So... do you want to play video games or blow me? You can see how this will get complicated. The Pretty, Pretty EMO Boy This is a mistake of epic proportions. EMO boys are like crack: they are highly addictive and hard to get. They will only find you sexually attractive until you turn 20 and then you immediately become a sad old troll that they are embarrassed to be seen talking to. Sure the sex is amazing but the early troll-hood just ain't worth it. The Geek OK- he's not very sexy or attractive but he'll love you like it is the first time- because for him, it probably is. Sure he tends to be socially awkward and might need coaching to shower and brush his teeth every day but dammit, he's reliable. He can either fix your computer or build you a new one that would make the NSA jealous. The Drunk No. Just no. The Redneck Kid Whether he is from Kansas or Louisiana or Texas, he's polite and has some old fashioned ways but you can always count on him to be true. He can fix your car and shoot burglars between the eyes. He's a keeper. The Horrible Mistake There's no picture for this one. It's not about looks. It all personality and yours and his are like Siamese Fighting Fish. Sure the sex is great if you can manage to not kill each other. Go for it one last time and then GTFO before someone gets hurt.

That's an interesting person to be heading this up. I wonder if he's like so many youth pastors in the united States that offer LOT'S of private counseling to gay youth.

Who says we aren't crazy Hawt!!! Karen Gillan Prince Harry Seth Green Christina Hendricks Rupert Grint (a.k.a. Ron Weasly) -James Savik (a Daywalker- I mean... Strawberry Blond)