The Castaway Hotel - 5 - 5. Chapter 5 - A Different World

The next morning, we all got ready and attended church on campus. It was a non-denominational service and the minister mentioned it was nice to see so many parents in attendance, supporting their children. He also told us it was obvious, at least to him, that we had instilled life long values into our offspring, since this was basically the same group of faces he’d seen each Sunday morning since the academic year began. It was a nice acknowledgment, before he moved on to his sermon.

Once the service concluded, we spoke briefly to the pastor, before I took everyone out for breakfast. During that time, we had another nice conversation with Dustin and he eagerly filled us in on some of the things he’d seen and done during the first few weeks he’d been here. He told his brothers about some of the social gatherings he’d been to, what his professors and classes were like, but then he turned in my direction and assured me he would make the most of this opportunity and not become a huge party animal. Dustin quickly added that it didn’t mean he was going to sequester himself completely, as he still planned to attend his share of those activities, but he would try to keep his fun times restricted to Friday and Saturday nights. He told me he had already met a few guys who seemed to party 24/7 and wondered how they survived, but then assured me once more he wasn’t going to do that.

I told him I had never worried about him losing control in that fashion, because I knew he had a good head on his shoulders, but I also confirmed I didn’t expect him to miss out entirely on the good times either. He smiled at my comment and told me not to worry, he wouldn’t, but he then stated he was glad I trusted his judgment and he’d make sure to live up to my expectations. Dustin then confessed that he felt I had given him a solid foundation on which to make these types of decisions and he would continue to build on it, as time went on. Then he thanked me for all I had taught him and done for him, as well as for his brothers.

After I accepted his compliment, I told him I had no doubts he would do well, and then the conversation moved on and he began chatting with Jake. Dustin asked Jake how he liked living at our place and how he and I were getting along. He also wanted to know how Shannon liked being there with so many others and if he had hooked up with anyone yet. Jake answered all of his questions and didn’t seem offended that he was being probed for such personal information. In fact, he seemed quite pleased that Dustin was interested about how Shannon and he were doing and thanked him for his concern, once he’d finished his responses.

After we left the restaurant, Dustin showed us a few more places of interest, which included a lovely park that was located about three-quarters of a mile from his campus. It had well-kept open areas, as well as some hilly spots that were covered with trees and featured some jogging/hiking trails. There were also several small, covered pavilions located about and each one was equipped with tables and a cast-iron charcoal grill, so visitors wouldn’t have to bring their own grills to prepare their food on, when they came for an outing. Additional picnic tables were scattered about the open areas as well, for those who preferred to enjoy their meal while relaxing under the rays of the sun. In addition to those things, there was also a very well kept pond, where we saw a few parents and their young children feeding bread to the ducks that were swimming about or wandering along the shore. I think we were all quite impressed with the place and I suggested we could spend some time there and have our own cookout, the next time we came for a visit. Dustin agreed and I could tell he was excited about the prospect.

As it moved toward late afternoon, we decided it was time to end our visit. After taking him back to his dorm, Dustin gave all of us big hugs, but his embrace with Kevin lasted considerably longer than with any of the rest of us. Dustin also made sure to let Kevin know he thought about him often and wondered how he was doing. He added that he was glad Kevin came along on this visit and Dustin was happy to see that he was doing well and moving on with his life, after dealing with losing Brent. Dustin assured Kevin that he’d always be there for him, if he should ever need anything, and I think this touched Kevin deeply. Kevin may have lost Dustin as a lover, but in the process had discovered he had acquired a very loving brother and a great friend.

After saying our farewells, we got back in the Suburban and headed home. Danny, Brandon and Kevin talked excitedly about what a great time they’d had and how they couldn’t wait to go away to college now. They said that after high school, college would seem so much different, because there weren’t as many restrictions and they’d be nearly totally in charge of their lives and could do what they wanted, within reason. However, after listening to them discuss this for a while, I could tell that while they exclaimed how excited they were, they were also a bit apprehensive about being away from the rest of us and not having the family to lean on or fall back on when the going got rough. But hey, isn’t that what growing up and becoming independent is all about anyway?

As Jake pulled into our driveway, a wave of young men came shooting out of the house. They seemed excited to see us and even had a special dinner prepared for our return. As we sat down to enjoy the feast that Ricky and Pat had planned in our honor, everyone began asking questions as to whether Dustin liked college, how he was doing and how our trip went. We answered them as best we could and then thanked our two chefs for preparing such a wonderful and delicious meal. Both boys seemed pleased by our acknowledgment and I was confident they would be willing to do this again, if the chance arose.

After questioning them about how things went at home while we were gone, the younger boys told us everything went well and none of their older brothers got too bossy while we were gone. It seems that everyone got along, no major damage was done to the house and none of them were any the worse for wear. Therefore, I quickly confirmed I’d be willing to trust them on their own again in the future, since they had proven they were mature enough to accept the responsibility and capable of taking care of themselves and each other. That announcement seemed to make them all glow and got me a cheer in reply.

Once we finished our meal, we spent the rest of the evening relaxing and taking it easy. I actually went to bed unusually early, because the trip had been quite exhausting for me. Even though I had followed my doctor’s orders while I was away, it still took more out of me than I had expected, so I said goodnight to everyone and headed off to my room. I was somewhat surprised when Jake entered a few minutes later, announcing he had also decided to turn in early.

I was lying in bed reading when he entered, and he sat down on the side of the bed and talked to me first. After explaining to me that the driving had really tired him out as well, he moved on to more personal matters.

“You know, I’ve really enjoyed sleeping beside you every night, but I was hoping maybe we could do a little more than that, now that you’re getting better,” he more than hinted. “It’s you’re choice and I don’t want to push you or anything, and it doesn’t have to be tonight. I just wanted to give you something to think about,” he added, and then hesitated briefly, before adding his final comment. “You see, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you.”

I wasn’t quite prepared for him to be so blunt, and I certainly wasn’t expecting him to say anything quite like that. In fact, I was still surprised a guy as young as Jake would be interested in an older fellow like me, especially considering my health problems and the fact that he couldn’t be sure about how much longer I might be around. Finally, I got my wits back together and was able to respond.

“Jake, I’ve grown to care about you a great deal too, and I might also be falling in love with you as well, but I’m just not sure I’m quite there yet. I’m also worried this might be just a passing phase for you, because I happen to be available and within reach at the moment, so I’m concerned you might change your mind if something better comes along. I can’t stop factoring in that I’m more than fifteen years older than you, have this large family I’m responsible for and you’ve now learned my health status is kind of shaky. It’s not that I’m not flattered or pleased about the possibility, but I am also wise enough to recognize you could do much better than settling for me.”

“I really doubt that and it’s not only due to the fact that I’m a single parent,” he replied. “I’ve fallen in love with you because of who you are and what’s inside of you. Your age and health don’t really make that much of a difference to me. Sure I’d prefer you to be around and us to be together for a long time, but I’d be willing to take the chance that may not happen and just be happy for whatever time we might get to share as partners. I love your boys and you seem to love Shannon, so I think this is a really great fit, if you want it too?”

I was really quite impressed by what he had said, so I took a few moments to think about my answer before I gave it to him. I was moved that he had bared his soul to me like this, so I didn’t want to fire back a quick response that might give him the wrong impression. I had to admit I’ve enjoyed Jake’s company a great deal and I value his friendship and help, but I’d never really seriously considered a romantic involvement and, therefore, hadn’t put a great deal of thought into this. I mean, I’ve never considered the idea that Jake might be interested in me on a romantic level, so I didn’t want to waste my time chasing a fantasy. I also wanted to be careful not to close the door on this possibility, but I didn’t want to lead him on either or cause him to believe I had already thought this through. So, considering all of these factors, I finally responded.

“Jake, I really appreciate what you’ve just told me and I value you more than you’ll ever know, but I haven’t been thinking about a long-term relationship, with you or anyone else. I’ve have always shoved the idea of finding someone for myself to the back of my mind, at least until the boys were grown and on their own. I’ve always felt I owed them at least that much, since I had committed myself to seeing to their welfare first and foremost, so I’ve pushed my own needs into abeyance. I’d love to throw caution to the wind and just say let’s go for it, but I’m not sure that would be fair to any of us.”

Jake looked a little disappointed after hearing my response, but seemed to bounce back quite quickly. “That’s okay,” he assured me. “My being here doesn’t have to lead to a relationship, unless you want it to, but I wouldn’t mind enjoying some physical contact with you in the meantime, if you’d be willing to do that much. It doesn’t have to include any commitments or even any love, unless that’s what you want or feel, but I wouldn’t mind seeing if there were any embers smoldering somewhere deep inside of us that might eventually ignite. What would you say to that?”

I had to admit he had a valid point and one I was more willing to go along with. Even though we hadn’t been entirely celibate since we first starting hanging around each other, up to this point it hadn’t been anything more than helping out a friend. Maybe Jake was right. It was possible that if we let down our guard we might enjoy each other more completely, and I just might discover the fire in my gut that Jake was alluding to. I really didn’t need to consider this for very long, since deep down I knew I had always been attracted to Jake, it was just that I had to be sure this is what we both really wanted – not merely that it happened to be convenient.

“Jake, I’d be more than happy to explore those possibilities with you, but are you sure you’re really ready to become a permanent part of this nut house?” I teased.

“Are you kidding?” he responded, while trying to stifle a laugh. “That’s all Shannon and I have talked about since we’ve been here. We both feel at home here, like we really belong, and neither one of us wants to think this might ever come to an end.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to stay and be a member of this loony bin,” I agreed, “even if you aren’t sharing my bed.”

“But that’s the best part,” Jake shot back, giving me a wink after he said it. “Look, I’ve had a crush on you since our kids started trying to hook us up. Besides Shannon being born, being with you and your family has been the best thing to happen in my sorry life. I’ve been praying you’d accept my offer, once I got up the courage to ask, but I’ve kept putting it off, because I was scared you wouldn’t want me. I’m just a UPS truck driver and not educated like you, and I’m sorry if I sound desperate, but you’ve been all I’ve been able to think about for months.”

Hearing this pronouncement really floored me. How could I have missed the fact that Jake had felt more than just friendship for me during that time? Sure, there had been times I flirted with similar thoughts about him, except I didn’t dare think he’d consider being with someone my age or with a guy who had as much baggage as I carried. I mean, what kind of guy would be interested in having a partner with this many kids still at home, let alone someone who’d suffered from the kinds of health problems I’d just been through?

“Jake, all I’m going to say for right now is that I think I feel the same way about you too,” I confessed, “and I’m willing to give it a try, if you are.”

“You really mean that?” he asked, as if he really didn’t believe what he just heard.

“Of course I mean it,” I told him, pulling him toward me and giving him a powerful hug. Once we finished our embrace, I let my lips seek his out and gave him a very passionate kiss. Once our kiss ended, I pulled back slightly and spoke to him again.

“Do you think we should tell the boys?” I wondered.

“I’m not sure,” he responded, honestly. “What do you think?”

“I think it might be best if we waited,” I suggested, “at least until we’re certain if this is going to work out. I wouldn’t want to get their hopes up, only to have them crash and burn if we decided this isn’t what either of us wants or is happy with.”

“Okay, I can live with that,” he concurred.

“Okay, then why don’t you get out of those dirty clothes and crawl in here beside me,” I suggested, which caused Jake to grin, before he did exactly what I’d requested.

Jake did get a little frisky once he was lying beside me, but he also took it kind of easy, since he didn’t want to aggravate my medical condition. We both got each other off, before we fell asleep cuddled up against one another, and when I awoke in the morning, I was fairly certain my life had changed forever – but for the better.

At breakfast, I got the feeling the boys suspected something was up between Jake and myself, but no one said anything directly about it. Instead, they just kept looking up and grinning at both of us, while turning toward each other and giggling afterward. That made me wonder if they’d overheard what we had done the previous evening, but I thought it highly unlikely. We didn’t have intercourse and we weren’t that loud, so what was this about? Then it dawned on me. Since we’d turned the air conditioning off in the house, I had opened the bedroom window to get some fresh air when I went to bed last night and I suspected the window in the rec room had also been open. I’d be willing to bet someone must have heard the conversation Jake and I had in bed the previous evening, as I had overheard the details about what had happened right after Frankie’s birthday party. If this was in fact what had happened, it was obvious the person or persons who had eavesdropped on our conversation had obviously relayed that information to the others. I guess Jake and I didn’t need to worry about telling the boys what was going on, since they already seemed to know what we’d decided.

It seemed far too quiet and lonely around that big old house once Jake headed off to work and the boys went to school, so I tried to find something to occupy my mind. After going through the mail that had arrived while we were away and reading the back issues of the newspaper, I decided to turn on the television and watch CNN. I’ve always liked keeping up with what was going on in the world and CNN was on top of most events, so I watched it for a hour or two before I got tired and went in to take a nap.

When I woke a little later, I fixed myself a small lunch and then went back to the family room and watched the history channel for a short time, before switching back to CNN. In fact, that’s what I was doing when the boys came home from school.

“Real exciting, Dad,” Ricky teased, when he saw what I’d been up to.

“Well, I DO have to stay calm,” I told him. “You know, doctor’s orders and all.”

“Calm, but you don’t want to end up bored to death either,” he quipped back.

“Oh, come on,” I replied, “the news isn’t that boring. It’s good to see what’s happening in the world and how it might affect us,” I explained.

“Okay, you keep track of what’s going on and then let us know how it’s going to affect our dates this weekend,” Ricky joked back. He thought he was being quite humorous, but little did he realize how much of an impact upcoming events might have on his young and carefree existence.

While we were joking around, Danny and Brandon went in to begin dinner for us. When I went in to help, they told me to go sit down and relax and they’d take care of everything. They mentioned they’d been fixing most of the meals while I was in the hospital anyway, but it was also good experience for them for when they left to go to college and later, when they came back to take over for me so I could retire and just enjoy life. When I told them I was already enjoying life, they explained they meant enjoying being with them and their brothers, without having to worry about the minutia involved with keeping the household running. I thanked them for their concern and then went up to the second floor, to see what the younger boys were up to.

After spending some time talking with them and learning how their day went at school, I heard Jake’s car pull into the driveway, so I went downstairs to greet him. He gave me a kiss when he entered, which caused some giggling in the background, and then he went in to shower and slip into something more comfortable before dinner.

By the time he’d finished, Danny announced dinner was ready, so we all went in to sit down. Jake had been given one of the seats next to mine, at the head of the table, and it appeared this would now be his permanent spot. After enjoying the food and learning about everyone’s day, the boys went off to do their homework, while Jake and I went in to watch some television.

Both of us decided to turn in early again that night, but this time it was I who followed him into our room. I knew he was exhausted, because he’d confided in me earlier that he’d had a long and strenuous day. He said it had been busier than usual for this time of year and he’d had to lug around quite a few heavier than normal packages. While we were in the family room, I’d noticed he was starting to nod off while we were watching our final program, so I suggested we head to bed and he jumped at the suggestion. Although we didn’t do anything sexual that evening, it was enjoyable just being able to ‘spoon’ against each other.

The next morning, after sending everyone off to work or school, I got on the Internet and opened my email account. I was weeding out the junk mail and reading the more relevant messages, most of which either wished me a speedy recovery or were a belated sympathy wish from those who had belatedly learned about Brent’s fate, when the phone rang. I was surprised to hear Jake’s voice on the other end, since he rarely called during the day. It turned out he was phoning me from a truck stop, after he’d heard reports about the lunacy that was going on that morning.

“Josh, have you been watching the news?” he asked, with a certain amount of anxiety in his voice. I wasn’t sure what was up, but I knew something was wrong, and my thoughts went to the boys at college and school.

“No, I haven’t been watching T.V. or listening to the radio,” I admitted. “Has there been another school shooting or something? Was it at the high school or one of the colleges that Dustin or Frankie go to?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Jake assured me, “but I think you’d better turn on the television and see what’s happening for yourself. It’s totally shocking and something you won’t believe unless you see it with your own eyes.”

I carried the phone with me, while I went to turn on the television. When the picture came on, I could see smoke pouring out of one of the World Trade Towers and I put the phone back to my ear and asked Jake what was going on. “I can see a fire on the upper level of one of the Twin Towers. What happened? Another bomb?”

“Worse than that,” he suggested. “Someone crashed a plane into it. It was a large commercial jet and there are reports that suggest that another plane crashed into the Pentagon.”

“Who in the world would do something like this?” I wanted to know.

“Terrorists,” he explained. “Officials aren’t sure what group yet, but speculation is that it’s probably a middle-eastern group, maybe Iraq had something to do with it. I just wanted to let you know. I remember hearing my grandfather telling about the day Pearl Harbor was bombed and how his family sat numb in front of the radio, in total shock, for hours. I think I’m beginning to appreciate how they felt and what it was like for them that day.”

I thanked Jake for letting me know what was going on, before hanging up the phone and settling in to watch the continuing news coverage. The scenes being displayed were riveting and I couldn’t seem to pull myself away from looking at them. First, the reporters would show scenes of fire rising from the World Trade Center and then the station would switch to shots of the devastation at the Pentagon. There were also reports that it was believed the White House or Capital Building might also be targeted and no one was certain if this was over or just beginning.

Finally, I broke away from what they were showing, so I could call the superintendent and various school principals, so they would also be aware of what was happening. I felt they might decide it best to prepare their students about what was taking place and give them a heads up before some of the parents started showing up to pull their children from classes. I also didn’t want them to think what they were being told was a prank either, if they heard it from someone else first. I was fairly certain they wouldn’t question what I told them, so I phoned each of them individually.

As I spoke to them, I discovered some of my colleagues were already aware of what was taking place, while others had no idea, but each of them thanked me for calling to bring them up to date. Once I had finished those conversations, I went back to concentrating what was happening. Just as I focused on the screen again, I watched in horror as another plane smashed into the second tower!