Puppy Love - 18. Chapter 18

Blaine sighed as he walked up the path to Levi’s house, it had been a long day of work and it made it worse that he wasn’t sure what kind of reception he would get from Levi when he got home. It had been three weeks since Michael was caught and ever since Levi had been treating him differently. He had been racking his brain for some kind of explanation, but hadn’t been able to figure it out. Levi had even been working at the clinic later and later and sometimes only made it home in time to go to bed and then was up and gone again before he awoke. Blaine was just taking his shoes off when his cell phone ring, expecting it to be Levi with another excuse why he wouldn’t be home, he was surprised to see it was Derek calling.

“Hey Derek, what’s up?” Blaine asked as he walked into the kitchen to pour himself a drink. He listened for a minute before telling Derek that he was home and that it was fine to stop by. It only took moments for the knock on the door to come and Blaine quickly answered it, giving Derek a quick hug.

“You look like shit,” Derek commented as he followed Blaine into the house.

“It’s been a long few weeks,” Blaine answered as he led the way into the kitchen to get Derek something to drink.

“How so?”

“Something’s up with Levi, I’m not sure what. Ever since Michael was caught he’s been distant, and I’m not sure why.”

“That’s a tough one,” Derek answered. “Has he given any clues as to what?”

“No, he hasn’t. He comes home late, sometimes after I’m already in bed, he leaves before I get up. He hardly talks to me anymore, and he even finds reasons to be gone on the weekends.”

“And this all started after Michael was caught?”

“Yeah, I noticed it at first when the medics got there, and it’s just gotten steadily worse. I don’t know what to do,” Blaine answered as he handed Derek a drink.

“Have you tried to talk to him about it?”

“Once, but he said I was imagining things, but I know I’m not. I’m at a loss, not sure what to do. I mean, if he wants me gone then why not just say so, why continue to be with me if it’s not what he wants.”

“Listen Blaine, I’m by no means an expert on relationships, but I’ve seen a lot in my years with the bureau, have you ever thought that maybe Levi thinks that you don’t want to be with him?”

“Why the hell would he think that, I want to be with him more than anything?”

“Think back to all the things that happened. Are you sure that Levi doesn’t blame himself for everything that happened? Michael said a lot of things about everything happening because you got together with Levi. We both know that he was just trying to cause issues with you and Levi, but are you sure that Levi understands that?”

“He should, after everything that Michael pulled, I’m sure he knows that Michael would do anything he wanted to do, regardless of whether Levi was in the picture. C’mon Derek, he admitted it while Levi was right there.”

“Whether that’s the case or not, you need to talk to him. It’s up to you, but unless you want to lose him, I suggest you talk to him.”

“You sound like you’re talking from personal experience.”

“That’s because I am. Not a lot of people know, but I’ve been through something similar to what you’re going through.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Actually, no. A few years back I had to do some undercover work. It actually was when I first took on Michael’s case. I was in a relationship but had to go undercover to try and make Michael hook up with me. It’s a long story, but the short of it is, the person I was with at the time couldn’t handle it. They thought that with all the time I was spending at gay bars that I was really interested in finding someone else.”

“How would you find someone else in a gay bar?” Blaine started only to stop when realization dawned. “You’re gay?”

“I guess you could say I’m bisexual. I’ve had good relationships with both men and women. Anyways, the guy I was with, Tom, got more and more distant the deeper I went into cover. I kept figuring that we would have time to talk it out when the case was over with. When Michael disappeared on us, I went home and he was gone. We never got the chance to talk and work it out.”

“Did you love him?”

“As much as you love Levi. Talk it out Blaine; otherwise you’re going to regret it.”

“Yeah, if he ever comes home,” Blaine answered in despair.

“He will, and anyways, the reason I stopped by is I have information about Michael.”

“When’s the trial?”

“It will start in about six months, but what I wanted to talk to you about is that we have enough if you don’t want to testify against him.”

“Do I have time to think about it?”

“Yeah, we’ll contact you when the time comes. I wanted you to know that the bureau is going for the death penalty.”

“He’s one person who deserves it.”

“I’m not going to stay, but I wanted to let you know before you heard it elsewhere.”

“Thanks, and thanks for the talk,” Blaine answered as his phone rang. Looking at the caller id he frowned when he saw it was Levi. He quickly answered and after a minute he hung up looking defeated.

“What’s up?” Derek asked.

“Levi calling to say he’ll be home late and not to wait up.”

“Talk to him Blaine,” Derek said before heading to the front door and walking out.

After Derek left, Blaine took a seat on the couch and thought. Making up his mind, Blaine loaded up the dogs and headed to Levi’s office. If Levi wasn’t going to come home, yet again, then Blaine would go to Levi. He couldn’t live in wonder anymore on what was going to happen. When he got to the office he quickly noticed the “Closed” sign on the front door. Shaking his head he entered and heard Levi’s voice from the back.

“Sorry, we’re closed.”

“Yeah, I know, which is why I can’t figure out why you’re not at home,” Blaine answered as he closed the door behind him. When Levi came into the reception area Blaine felt his heart speed up. This had been the longest he’d seen Levi in over a week. “We need to talk.”

“Can’t it wait until I get home?” Levi asked.

“It could if you ever came home,” Blaine answered.

“I’m busy Blaine; we’ll talk when I get home.”

“Yeah, you look really busy. Please Levi, come with me so that we can talk,” Blaine answered tiredly. “We can’t go on like this anymore.”

“I know,” Levi said walking back to the office and coming back moments later with his coat.

Levi sat quietly on the far side of the seat, away from Blaine. He knew what was coming and he just hoped that he was prepared enough for the break up that he was sure was coming. He knew that Blaine had been wondering what was going on with him, but he hadn’t known how to tell him. Levi was surprised when Blaine pulled into the camp that he’d been in when they first met. They let the dogs out to romp and Levi watched as Blaine went down by the water and sat on the shoreline. After a minute he followed noticing that Blaine was staring out at the water.

“Why’d you bring me here?”

“It’s where it all started, I figured it was best to have our talk here,” Blaine answered, still gazing out at the still water.

“I guess it’s fitting to end it where it all started,” Levi answered, fighting to keep his voice devoid of any emotion.

“Is that what you want Levi? For it all to end? Is that what’s been behind the not coming home, not talking to me, sleeping on the far side of our bed? If that’s what you wanted then all you had to do was say so.”

“It’s not what I want,” Levi answered quietly, refusing to look at Blaine. “I figured that that’s what you wanted.”

“Why the hell would I want it to end Levi? Even with all the shit that Michael put us through, I’ve been happier with you than I ever have. All I wanted was to be with you, but lately it seems as though that is not what you want.”

“If I hadn’t come into your life then Michael would have left you alone. You wouldn’t have had to run to try and stay alive. You wouldn’t have been shot,” Levi answered.

“Yes, I would have. You heard him; you had to have heard him. I was coming to when he told you that he was after me because I was the only one who had survived as long as I did. It had nothing to do with you. Did you ever stop to think, for one minute, that it was all bearable because I had you by my side through it all?”

“Not really, I just figured if I blamed myself them you must blame me too.”

“I never blamed you Levi. I figured you blamed me for everything. You were the one who was kidnapped because you were involved with me. You’re the one who had your dog threatened. It was your life that was invaded by the FBI, and it was all because you were involved with me.”

“I never blamed you,” Levi answered as realization dawned. Reaching over he took Blaine’s hand in his, finally drawing his gaze to him. “I know I’ve been distant lately, I guess I figured that if I distanced myself then it wouldn’t hurt so bad when you left.”

“I never planned on going anywhere,” Blaine answered. “Levi, if something is bothering you then we need to talk about it. Not talking about it only lets it fester and grow until it becomes something that we can’t fix.”

“I’m sorry Blaine.”

“No need to be sorry, just next time talk to me about it. That’s all I ask for Levi, is for you to be honest with me and let me know when something is bothering you.”

“I know, when you brought me here I really thought you were going to break it off,” Levi answered, glancing down at their joined hands.

“Never, you’re the love of my life, and I’m never letting you go,” Blaine answered tenderly, lowering his head to seal his vow with a kiss. Blaine couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face and lit up his eyes when they pulled apart.

“Let’s go home.”