Enigma II. Fighting the Man - 32. Chapter 32 - In The Name Of Love

The house is packed, I mean totally packed. There are people standing, crowding into every space. They are not the usual crowd either. I recognise the kind from when I danced before. They are rich and powerful, wearing designer clothes and the veneer of civility. And it is only a veneer because underneath they are animals in the way that only the very rich, who know they can buy themselves out of any trouble they get into, can be. They see people as objects and anything they do to them is their right as higher beings. They always scared me and they scare me now.

I shudder as I draw back, behind the curtain. Suddenly I feel naked. I glance up, to the other side of the stage. I meet Asher’s eyes and I know that he knows them too and he is as apprehensive as I am. I close my eyes and shudder more deeply knowing that I will have to take one of those creatures into my bed. I wonder if Tony knows what he is doing.

I don’t have much time to think because Tony is out there. He has quieted the catcalls and introduced us and now he’s walking towards me an evil look on his face which confuses me. Doesn’t he want me to perform well?

“You’d better do a good job tonight. I have a lot staked on this and after your recent behaviour you need to please me, whore.”

“If I’m a whore, so is he. I haven’t slept with anyone but him since I’ve been here. And you’d better think Tony; if I’m a whore what does that make you?”

He glares at me and stalks away leaving me shaking? Where the hell had that come from? Maybe if I had not decided to leave I wouldn’t have said it. I really shouldn’t have said it. I am going to leave but Asher isn’t and if I’m not here, I know that he will take it out on him. But he can take care of himself, can’t he?

There is no more time to think. The music plays and I dance, there is nothing else I can do. It is flawless, it is perfect. It absorbs me and possesses me and Asher is a part of me. We flow together, spinning, flipping, blending. I feel his energy more strongly than ever, and I know he feels me. There is an intimacy in the dance that is almost sexual, maybe more intimate, even, than that, more intense. We move as one, we are one.

I am so focussed, so absorbed that time ceases to have any meaning. We start; we dance; we finish. Afterwards I don’t hang around. These people are too refined to scream and shout, too important to show their lust on the outside. But I can smell it. Their eyes not only undress me but strip me of my humanity. I am nothing but an object of desire and they desire us, oh yes they desire us. But they don’t desire us as partners, or companions, or even a good fuck. What they desire is power. They would strip us of everything we are until there is no humanity left and they are free to treat us as they wish without conscience. They wish to tear and rip and hurt. They want to use us. They are true animals.

The fact that I will have to submit to one tonight chills me to the bone. The others are swarming around us, feverish with excitement. We have been spectacular, we both know it. There is no conceit in that. We don’t know how to be conceited but we are certain, we are sure, but we are not proud. There is excitement all around but it doesn’t touch us. I cling to Asher and he clings to me. There are tears beneath the surface that will never be shed, a nameless fear that will never be shared. We are brothers in this. We are one. We know.

“Don’t do it.”

He holds me tightly and presses his lips against my neck. “I have to Ash. We’ve been through this, I have to.”

“No you don’t. You don’t have to Silver. He wants to punish you but he doesn’t know. Tell him. Please tell him no.”

I gently disengage his arms. “I can’t do that Ash. Don’t worry. I’ll be alright. It’s not the first time I’ve faced this. I know them from experience too. I can do this. I’ll be fine.”

“Please...”

I shake my head and walk away. I can’t stay. I can’t bear the excitement, the congratulations, the easy companionship. I can’t bear other people. I can’t bear the catcalls from the hall. Most of all I can’t bear Tony. He smiles at me out of the corner of his mouth and his eyes glitter. Maybe he does know. I hate him.

I slink off to my room and sit in front of the mirror. I don’t recognise the person who looks back. I have never seen him look so tense, so frightened. Not even when I was hiding, when I was afraid of everything, not even then did I feel the gnawing dread that eats me and tears at my guts. I don’t know what to do.

Yes, I do know what to do. I go through the motions I have been through so many times before. Clean off with scented wipes. Reapply cosmetics to look fresh and alluring. Smooth the bed and set out ‘supplies’ in easy reach. Light candles and incense. And then wait.

Wait for the footfalls.

Wait for the knock on the door.

Sometimes it is timid, sometimes certain, sometimes thunderous. Tonight there is no knock. Tonight he walks right in and I know for sure there is going to be trouble.

He is easily as bad as I expected. He is quite young and very attractive and he knows it. He has a swagger in his walk and a sneer on his lips that makes my heart beat faster, and not with desire.

“Strip boy.” He says and there is something in me that twitches at the note of command in his voice, but now it just makes me angry. It is a struggle to keep myself under control but I have had a lot of practice. I keep my eyes respectfully lowered and slowly begin to take off my clothes, such as they are, in the way I know men like.

“Don’t bother with that boy.” He snaps. “It’s not stripping I’m interested and I’m not here for a private dance either, I’ve had enough of that tonight.” Something in his voice changes and turns to pure lust as he hisses. “I know about people like you. I’ve heard what you can do and you had better do it well tonight slave boy.”

I shiver and step out of my trousers and shoes. I begin to undo the straps on my wrists but he stops me. “That’s enough slave boy. Now...” With surprising speed and strength he leaps at me knocking me back and slamming me into the wall, pinning me with his body. As well as the fact that I hit my head hard on the wall, he knocks the breath out of me and I am dazed. For a moment I lose myself and I don’t know what to do.

I am brought abruptly back to my senses by a stinging slap across my face which splits my lip and I swallow blood.

“I said ‘do your thing’ slave and that doesn’t include thinking. I’m paying a lot of money for this body and it had better be worth it.”

Grabbing my wrists he pins them over my head. He’s strong and there is no point in struggling so I don’t. However, I make up my mind that this is not going to go the way he wants it to. He crushes his face against mine causing a stab of pain in my split lip. I’m used to pain.

Taking control of the kiss I undulate underneath him, work my leg between his and start working my magic with my hip. He gasps and loses focus allowing me to take more control. Eventually his hands fall, releasing me and allowing me to bring my skills completely to bear.

He turns to jelly and stumbles backwards towards the bed in my embrace, moaning. I am totally in control now and I make sure he knows it. Big mistake.

Suddenly I am flying and hit the wall hard. He follows and catches the side of my head with a blow that makes me see stars. Winded for the second time I start to slide down the wall. He grabs me by the throat, pinning me. I blink dazedly and find myself staring into the face of a monster.

My whole body starts to tremble as he growls at me. “Never forget who is the master and who is the slave. You’re good, very good but I’m still in control. Is that clearly understood?”

I can’t speak because his grip is choking me, bringing tears to my eyes and darkness to the edges of my mind.

“I said, is that understood?”

He changes his grip, forcing my head up and hits me hard under my ribs. How the hell does he expect me to answer when he’s making it impossible for me to speak? Suddenly the realisation hits me. He doesn’t want me to answer, he wants excuses to hurt me.

He must see my eyes widen because he grins like a wolf. “You understand now don’t you? Don’t you!”

His voice started off almost gentle but the last two words are snarled and he hits me again.

“Yes.” I manage to hiss.

“Yes? That’s no way for a good little slave boy to speak to his master, is it?”

“N... no.”

“No, what?”

I swallow with difficulty and manage to choke out. “Master, no Master.”

He lets me go and my hands automatically rise to my throat, which feels tender and bruised.

“Get on your knees, slave boy, and do what I paid for.”

“Master, yes Master.”

“There is no need to speak for that.” He snaps and I sink thankfully to my knees, grateful that I no longer have to support my weight on my trembling legs.

He has already opened his trousers and resists my attempts to pull them down. “Just do what you do and leave the thinking to me. And make it last.” So I did.

I had him trembling in seconds and within a minute he had to sit in a chair. He moaned and shuddered for five minutes, and then ten, then fifteen. “Enough.” He gasps but I’m not finished with him yet and roll out the big guns I’ve been holding in reserve. He almost chokes and his body begins to shudder and twitch uncontrollably.

And then I am flying again, as he kicks me hard in the chest. As I drag myself back to my knees to sit respectfully but painfully with hands on knees and eyes lowered, he pulls himself back together.

Grabbing me by the hair he shakes me like a rag doll. “Don’t try to be funny, slave boy. You give me what I ask for and when I tell you to stop, you stop. In fact you follow every instruction no matter how small or large without question or hesitation. Do you understand?”

“Master, yes Master.” Like fuck I think. I’ll play your game for not but take a step too far I’ll break your neck.

“Good boy. Now you have precisely three minutes. I want what you gave me at the end and if you don’t end it on the dot of three minutes I am going to kick your teeth down your throat.”

“Master, yes Master.”

He settles himself back in the chair and sets the alarm on his watch. How the hell does he expect me to judge time that precisely? As I begin and he closes his eyes, I raise mine to the dresser behind him where one of Ariel’s purchases crouches like a demon. It is an LCD clock in the belly of a leaping black panther. Haha.

Just as the first note of the alarm sounds I am swallowing him and rending him utterly speechless. Like the good little pet I am, I sit back on my heels, my head respectfully bowed.

Eventually he pats me on the head like a dog “Good boy.”

“Master, thank you Master.” I know how to play the game now I know what game I’m playing.

“Get on the bed.”

“Master, yes Master.” I take my time. If he wants to play this game I know the rules better than he does. “Master, how would you like me Master?”

“On your knees like the dog you are.” Charming.

Respectfully I comply, thinking that he would not be getting his money’s worth that way. There’s only so much I can do after all. I adopt the traditional slave position and present myself to him. I just let him carry on as he makes use of the tube of lubricant laid out on the dresser for his use. I try to fantasize that it is Ash but I totally fail. For one thing he is far too rough to have been Ash and for another... Just one more day.

Shit. He’s more than rough, he’s violent, but if he thinks I am going to beg him to stop he can wait all night. I’m no Ariel. I’m used to it.

When he finishes I remain completely still although I know he’s expecting me to move. I hear a strange slithering sound and I can’t work out what it is, until the first lash of the belt across my buttocks. Despite myself, I yelp.

The belt is unyielding leather and the edges are sharp. I he fancies himself as a ‘dom’ then he is sadly mistaken. He makes all the mistakes of the novice. The leather is too hard and too stiff and he hits me way too hard. This way he would make me a bloody pulp of no use to anyone. Not that I am intending to let him do that of course. I’ll allow him a couple of whacks and then if he doesn’t stop I am going to stuff the belt down his throat.

“Howl puppy.” He yells as he hits me again. I clamp my mouth shut. “I said howl.” He says as the belt comes down hard across my back, and I howl. God that hurts. At first it seems that I have only spurred him on to greater violence but he only hits me once more. My back and buttocks are painful but not unduly so. He’s only hit me four or five times and although I am bleeding I’m not cut deeply.

“I’ll make you howl, you little bitch.” He growls, his voice husky with excitement and something that sends a thrill of fear through me. Something cold touches the small of my back and he caresses my buttock as he rubs it over my back, turning it so I can feel its edge. Fuck.

“How would you like to feel this inside you little bitch? Six inches of cold steel and a blade so sharp it could cut the wind. I bet this will make you howl.”

“No.”

“Did I tell you to speak?” He snaps, slapping me hard on the buttock he has just been caressing. I yelp again because it is sore from the beating. He rubs the blade over my back, teasing my hole with one finger and suddenly something snaps.

Like fuck and I going to lie here while he abuses me. Like fuck and I going to let myself be treated like an animal. And like goddamn fuck and I going to let him use that knife on me. I am no slave, not any more. Asher was right. Maybe I never have been. Hell if I had been back with my Master this bastard would have his legs broken for what he has been doing to me.

“Get the fuck away from me you sick bastard.” I yell and explode off the bed, flipping over his head. I head for the door but he is not as stunned as I expected him to be and he comes after me, catching me as I wrench open the door.

What happens next is so fast it makes everything seem unreal. As the door opens I see Asher and Ariel anxiously prowling the corridor and they see exactly what’s behind me.

The man grabs my waist but I am slippery with blood and when Asher grabs my arm and pulls, he loses his grip. Ariel has disappeared and I know where he has gone. Asher swings me around behind him protectively, facing down the man.

“I think you had better leave.” Asher says in a quiet but deadly voice. The man sneers.

“You’re the other one. You’re no better than he is.”

“That’s true.” Asher concedes. “I’m not better than him, not in any way... but I’m a damn site better than you, scum. Now you had better get the hell out of here, right now, before I have you thrown out.”

“Be careful Ash, he has a knife.” I put my hand soothingly on his arm. He is shaking. So am I but I realise that neither of us are afraid, we’re angry. Years of abuse and servitude coalesce into this one moment and then shatters. I don’t know how it is for Ash but for me it’s the most liberating experience I have ever had. I had thought I was free before but I wasn’t, not really, not until now. I was chained to the past – habits, conditioning, even sentimentality, but that is gone now. In a flash of clarity I realise that there is nothing in my past that is healthy or good, nothing worth holding on to. I have been a fool to think otherwise. I was abused every day in every way and I am never, NEVER going to be abused again.

“I am not your fucking slave,” I growl at him. “I am no one’s slave and I am not a whore.”

The smile on his face is evil. “Oh you’re a slave alright, and tonight you’re mine, bought and paid for, so step aside pretty boy, unless you want to join the fun.”

“Did he hurt you Silver?” Ash asks in a tight voice, his eyes fixed unwaveringly on the man, who falters a little, in the face of the barely masked menace.

“No more than I can take.”

By now the others are coming down the stairs, gathering round. “Fucking hell Silver, you’re bleeding.” Alex’s deep voice rumbles. “Is this the fucker who did it?”

“Alex it’s alright. It’s not bad and I’m okay.”

Asher takes a half step forward and at the same time Alex looms behind me. I am flanked by dangerous men, so why do I suddenly feel more vulnerable that I did when I was alone.

The man panics and gives me a look that frankly scares the hell out of me. Not that I have any intention of showing it. Pushing Ash slightly out of the way I step forward and face him down. “I think,” I say in a cold voice that surprises me, “you had better go.”

Unfortunately, my anger blinds me to a simple fact. Between the three of us: Alex, Asher and I; we are completely blocking the door. One of the first things I learned about situations like this was... if you have a dangerous animal cornered always leave him a way out. Here the man has absolutely nowhere to go.

“You fucking little whore. How dare you. You can hide behind your freak friends as much as you like, it makes no difference. I m going to fucking kill you. I’ll gut you like a fish.”

And everything seems to slow down, as the man lunges at me with the knife. I stare at it, frozen as it flashes, heading straight for my belly. But then Asher is there and the man is running away. What happened? I turn to stare after him and everyone else is gawping that way too. Everyone except Asher, who is still staring into the room, very straight and very still, his back to me.

“Ash... Ash are you okay?” I ask putting my hand on his arm, but even then I know.