Damphir - 12. Chapter 12

Mmm, feels good, feels really, really good. Am I still dreaming? No... oh no, this is not a dream; this is... is... “Oh...” I come awake to find myself already purring and sliding towards the bliss. There is someone lying close besides me. I can feel the warm body pressed against mine, the breath on my neck. “Oooooh.” I am shivering and gasping as someone... someone... I have to open my eyes and see who it is. Somehow it doesn’t feel like Rover and he’s the only one who...

Oh god. Oh god. I can’t. I can’t. Shit, it’s Valentine. I can’t... can’t trust him. I must keep my head clear but he... he... My ears are elongating as expert fingers toy with one while his lips do what must surely be illegal things to the other.

“Pretty baby,” he whispers as my eyelids flutter and my breath quickens, the purr rumbling through me. “You like this don’t you? Oh yes, you like it.” He licks my ear and takes the tip into his mouth, nibbling gently.

“Oh...oh...” I’m perched on the edge of the bliss, fighting all the way. I don’t trust Valentine, no way. If he’s here; he’s here for his own reasons and not mine. Why is he doing this to me when he hates me? There’s something wrong but I... but I...

“Pretty kitty. You see? If you are good and do what you’re told then it’s so much easier and you get your reward. You’re going to be a good boy now kitty, aren’t you?”

“Y...yes.” He’s driving me crazy. I’ll say anything, anything just to have him not stop. He’s good, very good.

“You’re going to do what you’re told and not make a fuss.” There’s something in his voice that I don’t like and I struggle desperately to surface but this is my nature, I can’t do anything about it when I’m this far gone. I manage to bat at his hand but that only makes him laugh softly and his tongue flicks into my ear, making me moan. “Now, now; no fighting pussy boy: we can’t be having that. You’re going on a journey and it starts right... here.”

While still flicking his tongue into one ear and caressing the other he uses his free hand to gently rake the fingers across my belly and that’s it. There is nothing I can do to stop myself falling over the edge into deep bliss. Ah shit... ah shit. Valentine keeps talking but I can't hear a word he’s saying. My life revolves around the incredible sensations rippling through my body and there is no room in my mind for anything else.

Squirming, my body responds in an instinctual and fully unconscious way to the wonderful things his hands and tongue are doing to my body. All I can hear is the deep purr that rumbles through my body. And he...he’s touching my...Ah... wow, that feels so...so... Oh fuck, how is he doing that? Oh his fingers... his finger are in...and... aah...

I’m vaguely aware of being lifted to stand, my head cradled against a strong chest, held upright by arms of steel around me. Someone is still stroking my ears and no. OH. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck OH “Aaah. Mmf.” My back. My back. Oh so gentle touches, so...so...

I would never have thought it possible but I am no longer concerned about my ears, they pale into insignificance next to what is happening to my back. There is no way that I could have remained standing if it were not for the arms holding me up. The sensations in my body are crazy, overpowering, almost unbearable. The purr changes to something like a musical keening that I have never heard before and, at first, don’t realise is emanating from my own throat.

I am aware of other things; my body being moved, lifted, stroked. Somewhere a sharp pain flashes as a spark in my vision but it’s nothing. Nothing but the rushing, screaming, tearing, orgasmic wave of feeling that is coursing through me means anything to me anymore. I have no body; it is dissolving in the fizzing, sparking world of my first real experience of what skilful hands on my aripa caz can do.

I hear voices. Voices? There should only be one voice, Valentine’s. I have to... have to get a grip, get back to sanity again. I need to be aware of what’s going on around me, but it is hopeless: I am lost in the inevitable and every time I manage to rise a little the bliss takes me again as those hands, those wonderful hands play me like a musical instrument. Oh god they are so good, there is even a moment when it feels as if my wings are about to unfurl.

Valentine hisses in my ear. “Enjoying the ride, little cat? Make the most of it. Where you are going the only time you get to do this is when you’re on display. Remember in your most miserable hour that it’s all thanks to me and that Sar is mine.”

“What? What...”

I forget what he’s saying. I forget him altogether. I don’t care because... because. “Oh God. Oh God.” It’s rising like a red tide. I can’t see anything even when I open my eyes. And, even though my body is hyper sensitive I have no idea what is being done to it to make it feel like this. I’m shaking violently now, and I feel someone put something around my neck. I jerk, feeling a hard edge cut into me and suddenly I panic but I can't stop. I can’t...

“Aaargh...” It’s a scream. The orgasm is explosive and noisy. Cat howls on release. Cat ALWAYS howls on release which is why I have been unable to... please myself so to speak and this time... this time there is a whole new dimension to the shrieks.

Cat thrusts and howls and fights the restrictions which I now realise are someone holding my arms and legs. No one else is touching me anywhere other than on my back, no one needs to.

I’m coming down now, the sensations still pulsing through me but my mind clearing and I can see at last. I have to fight harder, I have to get free. I have to get out of here or make someone hear; someone come. I know what’s happening to me now. Valentine has betrayed me in the worst way possible.

“You’ve done well.” A voice speaks but not to me. “If he performs like this every time he’ll make me a fortune.”

“Oh, he’ll perform: he has to, he can’t help it. As long as he’s relatively calm and not in too much pain he’ll go off like a firework every time.”

“Don't worry, we’ll keep him calm, won’t we little cat? And as for the pain... well that’s up to him.”

Valentine laughs. “You see, just as I told you, pussy. Be good and you’ll be fine.”

“Gods damn you Valentine. I’ll get you for this. I swear I’ll scram your fucking eyes out.”

Valentine laughs again. “Haven't you noticed? You’re in no position to be threatening me.”

“I’ll get you. I swear it. Even if it takes me forever, I’ll find you and I’ll kick your arse all over.”

“That’s quite enough of that.” A rough voice snaps from behind me. Before I can do anything about it the men who are holding my arms wrench them behind my back and my head is forced up by a tug on the chain attached to the collar around my neck. Oh God I hate collars. I’m not going to give up. I'm not...

“Say your goodbyes pretty pussy because you are about to run away to join the Circus.”

“No.” I am struggling as hard as I can but it’s not achieving much. I feel so weak. Why do I feel so weak and strange? Maybe if I change into cat form I can slip the collar, but I... I... can’t.

I glare up into Valentine’s face which seems to be obscured by some kind of mist. I blink slowly but that only makes it worse. He is smiling a horrible smile and it makes me scared.

“Night night, little cat. Time to go to sleep. Have a nice nap, it’s sure to be a long one.”

FUCK. That’s why I feel so strange, they’ve drugged me. No, no, no. It’s pointless, I know, but I have to keep struggling. I have to... have to... I scream, scream, scream. but no one comes.

“There’s no point screaming. No one will come. There’s no one to hear you: they’re all fast asleep, I made sure of that. Soon you will be far, far away, someplace that not even your precious Sartorian will be able to find you.”

“No.” I wish I could have got it louder than a whisper but I can’t seem to... It’s hopeless, it’s... I feel someone lifting me in powerful arms. I try to look at the face but it’s so far away, just a blur in the distance. Someone whispers.

“You shouldn’t have got in the way. Sartorian is mine...mine...mine...mi...

****

I’m not awake, not really. Things happen; sometimes good, sometimes bad but it’s mostly a dream, just a dream. I have somewhere warm and comfortable to sleep and enough to eat so I suppose I should be grateful and happy. Master says so. I’m a bit uncomfortable with that, I mean the Master thing, and the collar and stuff, but it’s okay because he says he loves me and he shows it too, every night, and sometimes in the day too.

I like the daytimes best because there is usually a warm fire and it’s only him and me. He makes me purr and kisses me all over, I like that. Sometimes there are others and sometimes they hurt me. Master says I must be good and let them or he will put me back in the cage and let the monster have me.

He’s not really a monster of course, just a really, really big wolf and he’s not very bright. He never fully changes, one way or the other. He’s stuck in the in-between. I suppose I am too. I have my tail and ears and I’m pretty much always cat, but I like it; cat likes it. Monster doesn’t like it; at least I don’t think he does. He’s always angry and he’s cruel. In the beginning they put me in the cage with him and he hurt me. I mean really hurt me. Master was cross because I couldn’t do anything for a few days and he had to take care of me.

I’m not really sure what happened then because I was asleep most of the time. Cat does that. If things are hard he goes to sleep. He sleeps a lot. Not that I have ever really woken up. I am sleepy all the time and the only times that don’t feel like a dream are when I am with Master in front of the fire.

Even then I am sleepy and slow and I let him play with me however he wants while I purr. I am content then. If there are going to be others there he usually gives me medicine before they come like he does in the nights so it’s easy to shut out what’s happening and I don’t remember much after. Mostly once they go I sleep. Cat likes to sleep.

“Mmmm.” Master idly scratches my ear and I purr. I’m curled up on the big sofa with my head in his lap, feeling sleepy and content. I’ve been drifting in and out for ages, dipping into the bliss. I’m happy he’s petting me because I haven't been feeling too good for a few days. Sometimes in the night I cry because my head hurts so much.

“What am I going to do with you my little pet? I’ve come to be fond of you. You’re such a sweet and pretty thing, but can I trust you to stay that way if I stop giving you the drugs? And if I don’t stop they’re going to kill you sooner or later. You’re already getting sick, I can tell. How long do we have: three; four; five months, if we carry on like this? I don’t want to lose you but I can’t afford to have you fighting. The clients like you; you’re the star of the show and you’re making me money hand over fist but sometimes when I look into your eyes I see a fire that makes me think that given half a chance you would fight, and fight hard.” He sighs deeply. “Maybe I can try something different. Maybe the conditioning is deep enough that if I just keep you blurred it will work.”

I don’t understand what he’s saying but I know he’s not happy so I nuzzle his hand and snuggle closer. It doesn’t take long before I drift off to sleep again.

What? Where? Wh...wh...? Master got up so fast I was dumped unceremoniously onto the floor. By the time I look up he’s gone. The room is empty.

I don’t like it. Something’s wrong. I can hear sounds from outside, bangs and shouts and screams. It’s getting louder. What if it comes in here? I’m scared, really scared. What should I do? My mind is so cloudy. I haven’t long had my medicine and things always get a little strange after that. It makes me feel sick now too and that doesn’t help.

Am I imagining the sounds? Maybe that’s another thing that the medicine is doing to me now. Maybe the dreams are turning into nightmares. I don’t want it to be like this all the time. Am I asleep? Am I still lying on the sofa with Master? I want to wake up. I really, really want to wake up and be safe again.

Oh shit. What was that? That didn’t feel like a dream. That was a HUGE bang and it made the whole trailer shake. That’s not a dream. I’m sure that’s not a dream... I think. Ah well, even if it is a dream it wouldn’t hurt to assume it’s not. There is no way I am going out there. Even if I do there isn't anywhere to go. I’m scared. I’m scared it’s not a dream. I’m scared that it is a dream and I won't wake up. I’m scared of what’s outside the door. I’m scared that it won’t stay outside the door. I’m scared. I’m really, really scared.

There’s a cupboard where Master keeps things like brooms and stuff. It is small but that’s the way I like it when I’m scared. I can just about squeeze myself into it and if I close the door I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. If I keep saying it over and over it will make it true. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe.

That bang sounds awfully close. It sounds as if one whole side of the trailer has been blown away. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. If I just press back into the cupboard as far as I can and... oh hell, there’s someone in the trailer. I can hear them. I’m not so safe. I’m scared. I’m scared. They’re shouting something. They sound big. Oh, no, no, no, don’t come in here, please don’t come in here, please don’t come in here, please don’t... don’t...

The door is wrenched open, almost off the hinges and light floods my tiny bolt hole and blinds me for a moment.

“Glory. Oh Glory, thank God.” The man throws his arms around me and drags me out of the cupboard. I smell dog strongly. Oh no. It’s the monster, or something like him. They’re going to put me back in the cage. They are going to hurt me again.

“No! No! Don’t put me in the cage. Don’t... I’ll be good, I swear it. No.” But it doesn’t matter how loudly I scream or how hard I struggle he just holds on tighter.

“What the hell’s the matter with you? It’s me... Rover. We’ve come to rescue you, to take you home. Come on.”

“No, no...” I don’t understand what he’s saying but I know it’s not good. He’s so strong. He’s hurting me. It’s not that other people don’t hurt me but this is different. This is...this is... He’s so big and so hard and he... he’s hurting me and he made Master run away and there were all those bangs and people screaming and he... he... “Oh no, no please...” Why am I crying? Why am I showing him how weak I am? But I am weak. I can’t struggle any more. I can’t...

“Glory, stay still. What’s the matter with you?”

There’s someone else behind him. Of course there’s someone else. There’s always someone else. I close my eyes. If I can't see them then they can’t hurt me. “Please. Please don’t hurt me, don’t... don’t...”

“Let him go, Rover.” What? Who? I have to open my eyes because that voice; that voice is...is... It’s smooth like chocolate, soft, soothing. Suddenly I don’t want to fight any more and I don’t know why.

But Sar, he’s gone crazy. He...”

“Just let him go.”

The arms release me and my first instinct is to run, but where would I go? There are more people in the trailer and there is smoke coming in from outside. It smells bad. I can hear the screams more clearly because the door isn't there anymore. I don’t want to go out there. I’m more scared of out there than in here.

The dog is gone and there is someone else there. He is tall and he has shiny hair. It’s very long and pretty and it would be nice to touch and... Oh no. He’s a vampire. Vampires are worse than weres. Vampires are the ones who hurt me most. They call me names and they...they... bite me. Now I know I’m going to die. Oh well... I close my eyes and wait, my head bowed. I’m too tired to fight any more and my head is hurting a lot.

“It’s alright, Glory. No one will hurt you. Calm down and look at me.” There’s something in his voice that touches me, deep down on the inside. I can't help but look up, as if he’s making me. “You know me don’t you? You know me.”

And I do know him, I do. “You hurt me.”

“Yes, I did and I’m sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am.” He moves closer and cups my chin with his fingers, drawing my head up so I look into his eyes. I feel dizzy. It’s his smell, his touch, his... his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Glory, sorry for everything.”

“G...Glory?” They’ve said that before. They were shouting it when they first came in. I... I think... I think I... “What does it mean?”

“That’s your name little one; Glory. Don’t you remember?”

He’s so gentle, so soft. I feel safe. I feel... “No.” The word floats from me like the whisper of wind through the trees. He looks sad. I don’t know why but I don’t want him to be sad.

“Do you know who I am?”

Something is there in my mind... something...

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” the dog barks and I shrink back.

The vampire turns quickly to the dog. “Keep back, Rover. He’s not himself. He doesn’t know us and he’s scared.”

Sar turns back to me and takes away my fear. That’s it. “S... Sar.” He smiles and it feels like the sun comes out. I like his smile, I like it a lot. He cups my chin again and looks deeply into my eyes.

“What have they done to you?” I don’t understand the question so I say nothing.

“Sar, we’ve got to go. There’s no time. They won’t hold them back forever. They’ll work out we’ve come for him and...”

“I know... just give me a moment. Glory, we’ve come to take you home. Will you come with us?”

“Home? This...”

“No, Glory this is not your home; it never was. I want to take you to your real home, with us. Will you come? Will you trust me?”

He holds out his hand. Why is he doing that? What does he want? Oh... oh he wants me to... I look up again and his eyes are so... I know those eyes. He hurt me. I know he hurt me, I remember. He hurt me a lot on the inside and on the outside. He made my heart hurt, but... but he also... he... his arms felt good, and I felt... and I feel... safe. The Master... Is he... is he my master...is he?

He’s still holding out his hand and somehow my hand is in it and he feels warm and I want to...

“Come on, Glory, we have to hurry.” He wants me to go outside, where the screaming and the bangs are. I don’t want to do that. I’m scared of outside. I try and pull my hand away but he holds it tight. “It’s alright. You have nothing to fear when you’re with me.” Somehow I believe him.

There is a lot of smoke outside and it makes my eyes sting. Sar holds me close and I turn my face to his shoulder. I don’t want to see. I wish I couldn’t hear. He walks fast and I stumble trying to keep up. In the end he picks me up and carries me. Snuggling into his arms with my face in the crook of his neck, smelling his smell, I purr.