Hello, My Name is... - 11. Chapter 11 A Night On the Town...

The night air was calm, comforting even. The radio was set on a nice jazz station and David appeared relaxed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the handsome man sitting next to him. Tag’s words kept repeating in his head. ’He’s your husband, you’ve got papers on him… claim your man.’ He sighed deeply before turning his attention to the lights outside that shimmered against the dark sky as they passed by.

“Are you okay?”

He smiled at the sound David’s voice. “I’m fine,” he assured him. He adjusted himself in his seat making sure his suit wasn’t getting too wrinkled.

“You know we can turn around.” David took his eyes off the road for a brief moment.

“That’s not an option,” Christian scolded playfully as he pulled on the strap of his seatbelt. “We’re going to do this…okay?”

David laughed lightly turning his attention back to the road. “Okay.”

Christian chewed on his lower lip admiring his husband before focusing out the window again. When he said he was fine he wasn’t lying, though he wasn’t telling the truth either. There was still the fight for remembrance going on inside his head, along with an occasional headache and slight weakness in his left hand, but the doctors warned him about that. There was also the unspoken truth that taunted him…. Charlotte. ’He doesn’t need to know. You didn’t tell him for a reason,’ Taggart’s voice taunted him, but was there truth to that?

“Here we are.” David’s voice pulled Christian from his thoughts. He glanced up in awe. The awards dinner was being hosted at the Hampshire House Beacon Hill. People were casually milling about, all decked out in their lavish evening attire. The women were adorned in shimmering eveningwear, pearls, and diamonds while the men sported the dinner jackets and tailor-made suits.

“Wow…” Christian’s mouth was agape. “All this for an award dinner?” He wondered aloud as he marveled at the grandiose five story Georgian townhouse.

“You haven’t seen nothing yet. I know you don’t remember, but you know how most companies have a ‘company picnic’?”

“Yeah,” Christian answered eagerly.

“Well, we have a company weekend,” He explained as he pulled the black Infiniti into the valet line.

“A weekend?”

“Yeah the company pays for one night at a resort. The last couple of times it’s been on Martha’s Vineyard. The day is filled with all sorts of activities and at night we have a big cookout where they have games for the kids, and entertainment for the adults.” Christian nodded as he listened while unbuckling his seatbelt. David put the car in park and continued, “We get a discount on the second day, but it’s up to the families if they want to stay. We usually do,” he added as he unstrapped his seatbelt.

“Oh. That sounds cool,” Christian replied. He was about to ask a question when the car door was opened by the valet.

“Good evening, Sir, welcome to the Hampshire House,” The young man greeted. He stepped back allowing Christian to exit the vehicle.

“Thank you.” Christian nodded politely as he smoothed out his jacket. He watched as David tipped the valet waiting patiently for him to join him and escort him inside.

“You ready?” David whispered out the corner of his mouth as he hooked elbows with Christian.

“I’m ready, Slick, are you?” Christian winked as he entered the restaurant.

He was sure his mind was playing with him, but it appeared that as soon as they walked inside the hum of chatter that filled the foyer stopped and all eyes were on them. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the perspiration that dotted his brow, taking a long deep breath.

David must have felt the tension because he gave Christian a warm smile and mouthed the word, ‘relax.’

The maître d’ stepped forward and greeted them formally. “Welcome Sirs, are you with the Dean Witter party?”

“We are.” David nodded.

“Excellent.” The older man gestured. “Your party is on the second floor in the Library.” He smiled kindly and motioned toward the elevator.

“Thank you.” David took Christian by the hand and led the way.

Once inside the elevator David gave Christian’s hand a reassuring squeeze and to his surprise it actually helped. Christian pressed his lips into a tight smile before smiling politely at the older couple sharing the elevator with them. The woman nodded before quickly looking away. There was a soft chime before the doors opened. Christian glanced up in awe.

The room was utterly breathtaking, distinguished and he could see why it was called the library. The rich mahogany walls were actual bookshelves littered with books from the ceiling to the baseboards.

“Come on.” David nudged Christian forward.

“Um…yeah,” Christian said as he stepped off the elevator.

“Welcome,” A young woman dressed in a sharp black suit greeted with a kind smile.

“Good evening,” Both men returned the salutation.

“I’m impressed,” Christian whispered. David nodded and smiled as they stepped further into the room. David glanced around the room at the familiar faces giving a kind smile and short wave when needed as he weaved through the crowd with his husband following close behind.

The room was amazing. The theme of the room was vintage Victorian with bold colors of burgundy and warm browns offset by rich creams. A large crystal chancellor hung from the ceiling casting a soft, warm glow over the elegantly dressed guests. There were about ten large round tables covered in a heavy gold cloth accented with crystal goblets and ivory plates trimmed in gold. Each place setting had the name of the associate and their guest in front of it.

“Champagne?” A waiter walked up carrying a large silver tray filled with crystal flutes.

“Thank you.” David took two glasses handing Christian one.

Thank you.” Christian ducked his head bashfully. “To you.” He slyly bit on his lower lip as they clinked their flutes together. Christian waited for David to take a sip first before mimicking him.

“Mmmm.” David hummed approvingly before taking another sip.

“It is good.”

“David!” A voice called from across the room. David turned just in time to see a young man with blond hair wearing a tuxedo style black jacket weaving through the crowd towards them. “Hey,” he greeted, saluting both David and Christian with his glass.

“Matt,” David said with a short nod. Christian politely stepped back allowing the two men to talk.

“Word had it you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Um...yeah. We changed our minds. You remember Christian?” David asked placing his hand on the small of his husband’s back and pulling him a little closer.

“I do,” Matt said with recognition. “It’s good to see you, Man. I heard about the accident.”

Christian pressed his lips together giving Matt a weak smile, not sure how to respond. “Thank you… I guess.”

There was a moment of awkward silence shared between the three of them. Christian didn’t remember the young man so he didn’t know what else to say.

“Matt is the newest member to join our team,” David offered, breaking the silence.

“Oh,” Christian replied appearing to be interested.

“He’s actually receiving an award tonight as well.”

“Impressive.” Christian arched his brow before taking a sip of champagne.

“Everything I learned I learned from this man.” Matt placed his hand on David’s shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh really,” Christian stated more than asked as he narrowed his gaze on Matt’s hand, more importantly the position of Matt’s hand that seemed to linger on his husband’s shoulder longer than he felt necessary. Christian’s cool stare went unnoticed by Matt, but David caught it and slid his shoulder from under Matt’s hand.

“You give me way too much credit.” David chucked ineptly.

Christian was sure there was nothing going on between his husband and the handsome man that had to be at least ten years his junior, but his pearly white smile and that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at David, caused jealously to creep up.

“Nawh, Man are you kidding. You should actually be receiving two awards-“

“Matt,” Christian interrupted even as he stepped closer to David. “Shouldn’t you be getting back to your guest?”

“I don’t have a date.” Matt laughed behind his glass before taking a sip. “I’m flying solo tonight.”

“Hum. That’s too bad. I mean a night like this.” He paused briefly. “You’d want that special someone to share it with…right David?”

“Um…yeah, sure.” David creased his brow. Christian tilted his head and smiled candidly before taking another sip of champagne.

“Hey, there’s Aaron.” Matt pointed across the room sensing it was time to take his leave. “I’m going to go say hello,” he stated before turning to walk away. “It was nice seeing you again. Your husband is truly amazing.” He saluted David with his glass once more.

“Yes.” Christian smiled while wrapping his arm around David’s waist. “I know. Thank you.” He and David watched the young man disappear into the sea of people. “What’s up with him?”

“Who…Matt?” David asked incredulously while scratching behind his ear.

“Um…Yeah.” Christian eyed David as if it were obvious, dropping his arm to his side.

“Nothing.” David stopped short. “Wait. You aren’t jealous …are you?”

“Yes.” The word effortlessly left his lips surprising even him. He wasn’t sure if he was the jealous type, but at that moment he felt very territorial.

David laughed lightly seemingly flattered. “You have nothing to worry about, my Dear,” he assured him taking Christian’s hand into his own kissing it amidst the crowded room. “I’m a married man, remember. Not to mention Matt is not gay,” he said as an afterthought.

“And if he were?” Christian questioned warily.

“You still would have nothing to worry about. I’m hopelessly in love with you,” he stated convincingly with a lopsided smile. “Now, let’s go find our table, shall we?”

…

The ambiance in the room was as any banquet dinner. There was soft piano music from a band playing renditions of popular jazz tunes. The sound of silverware clanking against china along with the buzz of idle chatter and casual conversation filled the room. David introduced Christian to everyone that was seated at their table; they all seemed pleasant, involving him in the conversation whenever possible. Certain things about what David did were pretty obvious so he was able to keep up.

Dinner was amazing if Christian had to say so himself. There was a choice between chicken, steak or lobster. He chose the lobster with a baked potato and asparagus while David had the porterhouse steak. David rested his chin against his hand nodding every so often as he engaged in conversation with the gentleman sitting across from him. The servers had picked up the plates and were clearing the table for dessert that evening.

“Hello? Excuse me…Is this thing on?” The deep voice blared around the room capturing everyone’s attention. “This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.” He smiled as he glanced around the room.

“This is the moment I hate,” David said under his breath receiving a chastising nudge from Christian. He shook his head admiringly at his husband before turning his attention back to the host.

“Your Crème Brûlée, Sir.” The server carefully reached over Christian’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Christian whispered while moving back.

“Here you go.” She smiled as she placed David’s fresh berries soaked in Grand Marnier with a minted lemon crème fraîche in front of him. David nodded graciously keeping his focus on their host for the evening.

The awards ceremony was pretty simple. A name was called, everyone clapped, the recipients said a few words and they moved on to the next.

“This man needs no introductions, actually. Where is he?” He squinted as he scanned the room. “Ahhh.” He smiled in David’s direction. Everyone followed his gaze toward the back of the room and there was no mistaking it this time as all eyes truly were on them.

“David Courtier joined our family straight out of college, bringing with him no experience whatsoever. But he had one thing in spades… determination.”

David ducked his head shyly as he listened to the man praising him.

“I asked him ‘why should I give you the job?’ He had no experience and we were only dealing with elite clients. His answer was: “It would be foolish on your part if you didn’t.” He chuckled with a faraway look in his eyes. Hushed laughter could be heard throughout the room and Christian felt proud. He placed his arm around David pulling him into a congratulatory hug.

“Not only was he determined, he was an arrogant little bastard. And I mean that as a compliment. Not to mention he was right. What is this, his eighth or ninth award?” He creased his brow. “Anyway it gives me great honor… again.” He winked. “And bragging rights since I hired him, to present David Courtier with our Top Sales Person of the year award.”

Loud applause erupted and a few whistles and ‘way to go man,’ filled the room and all eyes were on David. Christian sat back clapping as well with a smile on his face so bright it lit up the room. He ducked his head blushing when David placed an unexpected kiss on his cheek causing it to turn crimson red. He placed his hand to his chest feeling nervous and slightly overwhelmed in David’s behalf as he watched his husband take center stage. He wished he had gotten him something for this special night. A card or flowers or… something. He berated himself for not thinking.

“Thank you, Tom.” David flashed a ‘Kodak’ smile as he received his plaque. He pressed his lips together and took a deep breath as he silently read the inscription. There was a moment of silence as he contemplated what he was about to say.

“You know, it always amazes me that I get awarded for doing something I love to do,” he spoke softly while still admiring his award. “This year I wasn’t expecting this.” He paused while chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Everyone in this room knows how grueling the hours can be when you’re right at the fifty yard mark and they’re just about to sign on the dotted line and you’ve got it!” He balled his fist tightly. “Just to have them say ‘I need just one more thing. Just one more meeting and you have to call your spouse and say ‘Honey, I can’t make dinner tonight. Don’t wait up.’” He received agreeing mumbles and nods from half the audience. “As most of you know, this year I almost lost my better half, my partner, to an accident.” He smiled sadly at Christian. Christian gasped softly and covered his mouth. “He insisted on being here tonight when in all honestly he should be trying to get better. Tom.” He turned his attention to the man that stood off to the side. “You spoke of determination, I’m sure if you look the word up in Webster’s there would be a picture of Christian Beck. Tonight I honestly share this with him. He’s been selfless and determined since he left the hospital and I’m so grateful to have him. Thank you, Baby. This is for both of us.” He held up the award and once again the room became filled with loud claps, whistles and approving nods.

Christian closed his eyes tightly to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay. “You’re welcome,” He uttered back.

…

“Okay. You’re sure about this?” Christian asked as he whispered into the phone. He had stepped into the men’s room to call to his best friend.

“Yes,” Taggart said through an exaggerated sigh. “He loves the place and Chris Botti is there tonight. That is if they still have tickets. If not you can always go for ice cream.”

“From a jazz concert to ice cream. That’s rich.” Christian chuckled humorlessly.

“Well…”

“I really want to do something nice for him.” He sighed. “You should have seen him tonight. All dapper and debonair.”

“Umhum.” Taggart smiled knowingly. He’d heard it all before. David was his world and the sooner he remembered or realized that the better off everyone would be.

“How are the kids?” Christian asked, shifting subjects.

“They’re fine. Ethan is asleep and Liam is wrestling with Jimmy. They’re practicing some new moves or something.”

“Oh.”

“You and that husband of yours owe me a carpet shampoo. That varmint of yours spilled Hawaiian punch all over my floor. He was doing some sort of kick and kicked the damn cup over.”

“I’ll be sure to let David know.” Christian chuckled amusingly. “Now the name of the place is Scullers. Right?”

“Right. Just put it in your GPS and you should go straight to it.”

“Thanks, Tag.”

“Anytime. You know that. I just want you and David in your happy place.” He sounded hopeful.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Make an evening of it. Let the kids spend the night. Go to the jazz club or not. And go fuck your husband, I know you both could use a good fuck.”

“Bye, Tag.” Christian shook his head and ended the call. He smiled as he looked at his reflection in the mirror before heading back to the dining room.

“Hey.” David stood to greet him. “I was about to come look for you.” He took Christian’s hand into his. “Are you okay?” He tilted his head slightly a look of worry etched in his features.

“I’m fine…really,” He assured him. He took a deep breath releasing it slowly. “Do you mind if we get out of here?”

“Sure. Sure thing,” David answered quickly. “The fun part is over anyway,” he said teasingly through a wide grin.

“I’m very proud of you, you know,” Christian stated sincerely.

“What this old thing.” He picked up the plaque. “You really don’t remember, do you?”

Christian crossed his arms over his chest and gave David a quizzical glance. David leaned over and whispered. “You hate these things. We only come for appearances. Hell, I’m surprised we stayed this long.” He laughed. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” He extended his hand. Christian took it and laughed following his husband out.

“Hey, do you mind if I drive?” Christian asked while they waited for the valet to bring the car around.

“Um…” David creased his brow curiously. “Yeah sure.”

“Cool.” He grinned casually sticking his hand in his pant pockets.

Once inside the car Christian adjusted his seat and rearview mirror. “You ready?”

“Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Christian smiled. He turned the GPS system toward him and lowered the volume. “It’s not like I can really surprise you. You’ll find out soon enough. I’m the one with the memory loss, not you.” He smirked as he pulled onto the road.

David sat quietly paying close attention to the road. He pretty much had it figured out, but he wasn’t sure until Christian made the 18 Allston/Cambridge exit off I 90. He glanced at his husband who tightened his grip on the steering wheel cheesing like Chester.

“You know where we’re going don’t you?” Christian took his eyes off the road and smiled at David.

“You remember Scullers?” David questioned skeptically.

“Well, not really,” Christian admitted honestly. “I know it’s a well-known Jazz club here in town. I don’t remember us ever going though.” He shrugged casually as he made the left turn. “Tag said it’s one of your favorite spots.”

“Tag?”

“Yeah. I called him from the restaurant and he got on the computer. I’m proud of you and I didn’t get you anything for tonight-“

“Chris…” David reached over the console taking Christian hand into his. “You coming tonight is enough for me.”

“Chris Botti is there tonight.” He bounced his brows suggestively. David’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“Really?”

“We’re just in time for the second set.”

“You know,” David said before kissing the back of Christian’s hand. “This.” He swallowed hard. “Right here is one of the many reasons I love you…love us. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Christian licked the corner of his mouth before turning his attention back to the road.

…

“Okay, fellas.” Their hostess guided them to their seats. Here you go. They opted to sit on the upper deck outside. Here they had a perfect view of the stage and a spectacular view of the Boston skyline and the Charles River behind them. “I’ll be back with your drinks.”

“Thank you.” David nodded and smiled before following Christian over the railing that overlooked the river.

A soft smiled appeared when he felt David’s presence behind him. He didn’t have to touch him to know he was there.

“It’s really nice out here.” He inhaled the night air allowing it to fill his lungs. “Did we come here often?” He asked swallowing thick when he felt David’s chest press up against him.

“Whenever there was someone here I wanted to see.” David’s voice was dark and raspy as he reached his arm around Christian resting his hand on the rail sealing the space between them. Christian’s hand caressed the back of his neck nervously upon feeling the warmth of his husband’s sweet breath tickle it. “You see that tall one over there?” David reached across the rail pointing to a group of buildings. “The one with all the lights to the right of the Chase building.”

“Yeah.”

“You helped with the design of it.”

Christian glanced back over his shoulder just in time to catch the bright smile on David’s face.

“Really?” Christian asked in amazement.

“You’re that good, Christian.”

Christian inhaled deeply as he continued to admire the tall glass structure. “It feels good out here.” He shifted in the small space David had confined him in and turned to face him. The way the lights reflected off David’s face made him appear angelic and his dark hair glistened with hues of blue highlights. But it was those eyes and the way they looked at him that left him breathless. “Um…the kids are alright,” He mumbled feeling like a dumbass. “The kids are alright.” He chided himself feeling flustered. “Did I just say that?” He giggled nervously.

“Yeah…” David chucked at the cuteness that was all Christian. “You did.”

Christian rolled his eyes toward the night sky. ’Why does his damn voice sound so sexy tonight?’ He thought to himself as his eyes wandered over David’s features. “Chris, Baby, this is me. I get that you don’t remember, but I’m the same me I was from the day we met,” he stressed, hoping Christian could feel what he was trying to say. “The same David you fuss at for forgetting to turn the showerhead off when I get out of the shower. The same David who sneaks candy to the boys when you aren’t looking only to have Ethan tell on me every time.” Christian lowered his head, chuckling softly. “I hate that you look at me like I’m a stranger…like you don’t know me.”

“David-“ Christian reached out to touch David’s shoulder.

“No, Christian,” David interrupted gently placing two fingers to Christian’s lips to hush him. “I understand it. I do.” His eyes were sad as he looked longingly into Christian’s pale brown ones. “But I still hate it.”

Christian eyes rested on his husband’s full lips and he slowly ran his tongue over his own subconsciously. He didn’t realize it until their lips brushed against each other’s only for the briefest of moments that he initiated the kiss. David’s hand caressed Christian’s cheek before reaching up the side of his neck pulling him closer until their lips met again.

“I’m sorry,” Christian said as his tongue pressed between David’s lips. They were lost in their own world until the chord of the electric keyboard and crash of the cymbal reminded them they weren’t. David broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Christian and sighed.

“I love you,” He said breathlessly. He jumped slightly when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder.

“I put your drinks on the table.” Their waitress pointed out seemingly unfazed by their public display.

“Thank you.”

“Oh and the band is back on the stage so Chris will be out soon.” She winked. “Or didn’t you notice.” She smirked before walking away. Christian ducked his head embarrassed and David laughed lightly before combing his fingers through his hair.

“I guess that’s our cue.” He patted David on the chest.

“After you.” David stood back allowing him to pass.

…

Christian and David took their seat just as Chris Botti took the stage. He started the set with his popular and everyone’s favorite ‘Indiana Summer.’ “I think I’ve heard that before,” Christian whispered.

“Really?” David questioned.

Christian grinned noticing David’s hopeful expression.

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” David nodded slowly processing Christian’s confession even as he took a sip of his whiskey sour. He sat back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other while unbuttoning his jacket. To some it may not seem like much, but to David anything Christian remembered was monumental.

The atmosphere was relaxed and there was just enough of a breeze off the water to keep the guys cool. Christian wasn’t sure when he got so comfortable, but as he reached for his drink he realized his hand had been resting on David’s knee. His mind instinctively remembered the picture of them on the wall in the living room. In it, his hand rested comfortably in the same place. He grabbed his glass and shifted positions pressing his back against David’s shoulder. He smiled at the comfort he felt just being close to him, thinking, ‘This is nice.’

The concert ended around 1:30am and as always Chris Botti wowed the crowd ending the show with his upbeat tone, ‘Regrooveable.’

“That was really nice.” Christian stood up and stretched as the people filed past them. “I remembered most of the songs.”

“That's great,” David said as he buttoned his jacket. “We have all of his CDs.”

“Wow,” Christian stated reflectively. “He’s really good.”

“And cute.”

“Cute?” Christian frowned, a hint of jealously could be heard. As soon as the word left his mouth he cringed at the sound of it.

“I’m committed to you, Christian, but I’m not blind,” David teased giving Christian a quick kiss on the nose. “Now let’s get out of here.” He said taking Christian by the hand. “You hungry? Because I’m starved,” he called back over his shoulder.

“I could eat.”

…

“Okay so we have one veggie omelet and an orange juice.” Christian gave a confirming nod as he pulled off his jacket. “And for you, we have an order of Belgium waffles and an order of chicken wings.”

“That’s correct,” David confirmed. He smiled as he rested his arm over the back of the seat.

“Coming right up,” the perky redhead said before bouncing off.

“Man, she has a lot of energy for two o’clock in the morning,” Christian observed even as he stifled a yawn.

“Maybe she’s just starting her shift,” David assumed.

“Maybe.” Christian shrugged as he reached for his water.

“I’ve had a really great time tonight, Christian. Thank you.”

“So did I.” Christian swallowed down his water and set the glass down. He scratched idly at his neck before speaking. “David?”

“Hum?”

“I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“For what?”

“You know, with your co-worker Matt and later at the Scullers.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek like a small child waiting to be scolded. “I’m not the jealous type… I don’t think.”

“Oh.” David laughed. Christian narrowed his gaze at the handsome man who found humor in his apology.

“What?” Christian creased his brows curiously.

“It’s just.” David’s laugher faded to a soft chuckle. “You are so the jealous type.”

“Really?” Christian drew his face into a frown.

“Hell yes.” David chuckled into his fist. “Man, tonight, you went easy on him.”

“Really?” Christian questioned again.

“Yep.” David nodded. “I really don’t mind it though. I get jealous too sometimes, it’s called human nature.”

Christian’s features softened and he sent David an endearing smile gazing warmly into his eyes.

“What?”

“You are truly amazing,” Christian spoke with a sparkle in his eyes admiring the man sitting across from me.

“Nobody’s perfect, Chris,” David replied. “If we spent our lives searching for that, ‘perfect’ someone.” He used air quotes. “The person who’s perfect and we feel we can live with, we could possibly end up alone. But there’s a trick to it.”

“And what is that?” Christian rested his chin in the palm of his hand sending David a cheeky grin.

“I’ve been told the trick is not finding the perfect person you can live with, but finding that flawed person you can’t live without.” He winked with a swift nod of the head.

“Flawed huh? I like that,” Christian admitted pondering the sentiment.

“You should, it was you that said it.”

“Ah-ha…” Christian nodded slowly.

…

The sun was just peeking above the horizon when they returned home. It was hard to believe they had been out all night. David’s jacket was draped over his shoulder and his tie hung loosely around his neck as he followed Christian inside. Christian had just hung up the phone with Tag and was instructed to sleep as long as they wanted and call when they got up so he and Jimmy could bring the boys home.

“You know.” Christian admired the family portrait hanging above the fireplace. “That really is a nice picture.”

“I like it,” David agreed as he sidestepped Christian and headed down the hallway.

“Yeah.” Christian’s eyes lingered on it a little longer before he followed David down the hall.

He had just tossed his jacket across the bed and was unbuttoning his shirt when Christian stopped in the doorway.

“Hey.” David glanced up just as he slipped his shirt off his shoulder. “Come in.” Christian smiled, crossed his arms over his chest and rested his back against the doorframe. He didn’t remember his previous life with this man, but oddly enough there was something familiar about him. He couldn’t use the excuse that he wasn’t gay anymore because he clearly was and denying it was just ridiculous.

“Are you okay?” David’s voice startled him. He looked up meeting his intense gaze head on. And he had to be attracted to him when they’d met, because he was attracted to him now.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” He sighed using his fingers to loosen the gel in his hair.

“Yeah.” David ran his tongue slowly over his teeth as he admired the man standing in front of him. “Me too.”

The room became silent and the air so thick it was palpable.

“I miss you,” David’s voice was thick against Christian’s neck. His warm breath sent cool chills down Christian’s spine. He stilled his shoulders taking a deep breath feeling the hairs on his neck rise slightly. He was sure David knew he had this effect on him; he had to.

“Umm…” Was all he could muster as the tips of David’s fingers traced the contours of his jaw dancing down to his neck. His eyes fluttered closed at first contact of David’s lips brushing against his own. Another moan escaped as his body went limp and fell back against the doorframe rendering him motionless trapped under David’s touch.

“I miss you so much.” David’s heated words met his ears before his tongue found its way to Christian’s parted lips. The tips of his fingers burned as they wandered over David’s firm chest and shoulders fighting the urge to dig into his flesh as their bodies pressed against each other. He wanted more…needing the closeness.

The taste of his mouth was like forbidden nectar that was sinfully delicious and Christian couldn’t get enough. David’s hands moved up his back pulling him flesh against him forcing Christian to feel his hardness…his want for him. Christian let out a weak cry as the contact caused his own body to betray him.

“Stop…” He pleaded through haggard breaths. He used what little strength he had to pry their bodies apart.

“What’s wrong?” David asked as his lips tasted Christian’s one last time.

“I can’t. I had a wonderful time, but I’m not ready.” His eyes filled with tears and his cheeks were flush.

“Ready?” David combed his fingers through his hair as he tried to steady his breathing. “It’s okay, Christian. Please stay.”

“I can’t.” He sighed feeling totally confused. David was right. It was okay. He was his husband for goodness sake and he wanted this as much as he did, but.... “I can’t.”

David took a deep breath, running his tongue over his dry mouth. “Okay. Okay. I understand.” He swallowed hard placing his hands on his hips and stepped back allowing Christian to pass. He inhaled deeply once more. “I didn’t mean to push.”

“I know.” Christian pressed his lips together into tight line. “I had a wonderful time. You’re great. I know you’re my husband. I do.” He shook his head and rolled his eyes feeling disappointed in himself. “It was like being on a first date that was so amazing it made me feel wonderfully alive.” He chewed on his lower lip trying to formulate the right words hoping David would understand. David nodded as he followed Christian’s train of thought. “But I don’t think I’m ready for the next step just yet.”

“Okay,” David said faintly.

Christian stood on the tips of his toes placing a tender kiss on his husband’s mouth. He cupped David’s cheek in his hand sending him a warm smile. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Chris.” David blew out a frustrated breath of air before running his hand roughly down his chin.