Rooted in My Heart - 4. A Very Merry Unbirthday

I racked my brain for the right way to explain this to Denika. I guess there really wasn't any other way to say it than the brutal truth… I'd fallen for a boy and I needed help. Before I could even speak though, our conversation was interrupted by the loud buzzing of my cell phone, buried somewhere deep in my drenched pocket. I was glad to see it was still working after having gotten wet in the rain! I looked at who the caller was and turned my attention back to Denika.

"It's my Mom. She's probably worried about the storm." I wiped it off the best that I could before answering it. I held it up to my ear, with my finger in the other to block out the sound of the thunderous storm and winds. "Hello?" I asked.

"Honey, it's Mom. Do you need me to call Dad and have him give you a ride home? Normally you could walk, but it's raining really hard out. I don't want you out in this," she said. I shifted on the ground a bit, getting slightly more comfortable and hugging around Denika for warmth before continuing.

"He's home from his trip?" I asked.

"Yeah. He just got home about an hour ago," she answered.

"Well, I'm at the ice cream shop right now with Denika…" I started, before Denika jumped in and cut me off mid-sentence.

"My mom can give him a ride, Mrs. Marshall. I texted her after the show and she should be here to pick me up soon. Don't worry about it! She'd be glad to do it. We both love Dylan!" she yelled into my phone from the side.

"Oh! Hi Denika!" she said, surprised. "Okay… if you're sure she can manage. If she could, that would be great. We'll owe you one, honey. Tell your mom I said hello."

"Will do, Mrs. Marshall. It's no problem, really. We live in the same neighborhood as you, after all. So, we'll pass your house anyways. It's fine." Denika finished. She should be a salesperson someday; she could be rather persuasive sometimes.

"Okay. I have to finish closing. We had a really big day here today, so we made a lot. It's taking longer to close than usual, so I should be home by eleven. You don't have to wait up for me. I'll see you later, honey."

"Bye Mom!" I said. I hung up my cell and slipped it back into my pocket — if it had lasted this long being damp in there, it could last a little longer. I leaned my head on Denika's shoulder and tried to find the words to answer the question she had asked me earlier. I took a deep breath and gripped her even tighter as I began. "I do like someone. I actually… I think I'm rapidly falling in love, and I just… I don't know what to do." She let her head rest on top of mine and sighed.

"Aw, baby. It's okay," she said, and gave me a little squeeze to encourage me to keep going.

"No. No, it's not," I said, tears started to trickle down my cheeks as I fought to remain composed. I was obviously failing. "I don't know if he likes me or not! I have absolutely no idea! Sometimes… sometimes he seems like he might, but other times, I just… don't know! I’ve never done this before, Denika. I'm so sick of trying to interpret his mixed signals, really. It's wearing me down, and I just can't take it anymore! I need to know! I… I want to know if he really does like me or not. I need to know if I'm just wasting my time flirting with him." I burst into hysterical sobs as I finally let go and vented to someone. I just couldn't keep it inside anymore, and I hoped Denika would know what to do.

"Well, is he… you know?" I looked up and searched her face for a sign of what in the world she was talking about, and when it hit me, I started chuckling to myself.

"I don't know if he's gay or not, if that's what you're asking. I've heard his friends joke around and call him gay, and he seems like he could be based on how we seem to flirt sometimes, but that doesn't mean he is," I answered, loosening my hold on her slightly as the tension of the initial confession wore off.

"Well you lovestruck dufus, I don't know what to tell you right now, but we'll think of something. I promise." She smiled down at me and continued. "As for Eden, you're going to need to break it off, then. You need to tell her you just want to stay friends. I'm sorry to tell you this, but either way, she's going to get hurt. Why did you let it get to this point, anyway?" she asked.

"It's a long story, but it started with just matching our outfits for the Spring Dance. Then after that, it was fueled by peer pressure from certain people," I said, pinching her arm lightly. She pulled her arm away immediately and broke the hug.

"Hey, I'm sorry! I didn't know! I thought you liked her! Or, at least I could tell you liked someone. So I should get points for that. My intuition is never wrong!" she yelled. I rolled my eyes and grinned.

"Well, now you know I don't like her," I said.

"Boy, is that right! I have terrible gaydar, you know that? I had no idea, whatsoever." She laughed and attempted to keep going. "Thanks for telling me though. I'm glad you trusted me enough."

She threw her arms around me again in another hug, and I responded with “I thought your intuition was never wrong?” She swatted my arm and poked my ribs.

As we struggled and joked around, a pair of headlights appeared in the distance. They cut through the darkness and the blur of the rain, and they seemed to be growing bigger — as if they were coming in our direction.

"Hey, do you think that's your mom?" I asked. Denika let go of me and peered out at the oncoming car.

"Maybe. I told her to pick me up at ten, so that's right about now. I told her a little later than when the store closed cause I figured we'd stick around outside and talk for a little while, which we did, but I'd have told her earlier if I knew we'd be caught out in the freaking rain! I hate the rain. It messes up my hair!" I laughed at her comment and smiled knowingly.

"Yet another thing we have in common, my friend. I hate when my hair gets messed up," I said.

A wicked smirk spread across her face and she reached out and ruffled my blond locks.

"Hey! That was uncalled for! I don't like you anymore," I sulked. "I know how to make us even though!"

I lunged over and returned the favor, succeeding in making her hair look even worse than it already did.

"That's it!" She rolled on top of me and started wrestling me for a chance to attack my hair again, just as the car that was once in the distance came to a stop at the curb next to us. We stopped fighting as the car's passenger side window rolled down and Denika's mom came into view from the inside. "We'll talk more on Monday," she murmured discretely to me.

"Hey you two! You guys must be freezing! Hurry up and get in the car before you catch your deaths!" Mrs. Canton yelled out the window.

We raced over, covering our heads from the rain, and pulled open the door to the back seat shortly before nearly jumping in. Thank God it was warm in there! Mrs. Canton must have had the heater going, because it was so much more comfortable inside of that car than it was outside.

"Don't worry about your wet clothes on the seat. It's okay. Dylan, I hope you weren't planning to walk home in this! I know you like to walk, and your mom is working, but I hope you don't mind if I give you a ride, sweetheart. I'd feel terrible leaving you out in the cold. Your parents wouldn't mind? Your dad's not coming to get you, is he?" she turned and asked.

"No. If you could, I'd really appreciate it," I answered.

"Of course! I don't mind. We pass your house anyway on our way home. You know that!" She smiled at me and looked back at the road as she pulled away from the curb. Denika's mom was a wonderful lady, and I got along with her really well. I'd even consider her somewhat of a friend, rather than just 'Denika's mom.'

The two of them were so much alike. Although Denika wouldn't care to admit it, they really were. They had the same taste in music and in clothes, they said the same phrases, and they had the same mannerisms. Denika was always very determined to defend the idea that she was more like her dad, but it was so obvious that she wasn't. Denika and her mom were even similar in having amusing hissy fits too! I swear, they were more like twins or clones than mother and daughter!

We eventually drove up in front of my house and the car came to a stop to let me out. I said my thank you’s and goodbyes and then waved back at them as I walked up my front steps. I was glad that they were able to give me a ride, especially since it was still pouring outside. A bolt of lightning stretched across the sky, followed by the loud rumble of thunder. Yikes! I unlocked our front door and raced in.

The first thing I noticed… was my dad passed out on the living room couch.

He slept half of his life away on that couch.

I knew that he had just gotten back from a rough business trip, but he did this all the time — well, it was usually because he'd been drinking. I just hoped he hadn't been tonight. And I was glad that I didn't go with having him pick me up.

I kicked off my shoes, made my way upstairs and took a hot shower, then changed into a dry shirt and boxers. After I was all warm and cozy again, I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed, wrapping myself up in my blankets. As I drifted off to sleep, I listened intently to the soothing pitter-patter of the rain on my window. It was light, yet hard at the same time in the sense that it was loud enough to be heard clearly and appreciated; it was the perfect symphony of nature, and I enjoyed every relaxing minute of it. It was the ideal white noise to gently lull me into dreamland.

*** 

Monday rolled around, as it usually did after another dull Sunday. My Sunday wasn't anything special. I mostly just stayed at home and worked on some more of my random doodles. Nothing seemed to be right though, no matter what I tried. Plus, I was distracted looking forward to today, because I could get some social interaction again! I loved my friends, and I hated being cooped up in our house, even if it was still gloomy and wet out. So, yes… believe it or not, I really did want to go back to school today. Besides, I would get to see Tanis again. He's what made me look forward to school days the most.

You know, I don't know if I've said it enough, but I don't just like him because I think he's cute. I'm not shallow like that. No, he was genuinely a good person. Despite being shy, I’d witnessed him tutoring other students in Spanish, offering to carry things for his teachers, and volunteering to help the student government on their projects and dances. He was funny, and kind, and smart, and had a wonderful laugh that I could listen to for hours, but he only let me hear it occasionally because he was so bashful. He was a beautiful person… inside and out.

Speaking of Tanis, I found myself feeling more and more anxious to see him again as each of my classes ended. I would get to see him at the end of the day, and my heart was skipping happily and painfully just thinking about it. I just had biology, lunch, and then art before our shared Spanish class.

Cooper and Michael were in my bio class this year. We had always been acquaintances, but we had grown a bit closer now that we shared a lab station. Cooper has especially warmed up to me after our interaction outside of the talent show before summer break.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Cooper greeted me, and Michael added a ‘S’up?’ as I sat down.

“Hey guys. Happy Monday!” I said cheerfully. I was in a good mood, after all. Just one more class until Spanish with you know who.

Cooper stared at me like I had a third eye for a moment, then said “Well, it must be. You seem happy. Get a girlfriend over the weekend or something?”

Michael grinned mischievously from behind Cooper and made a kissing face at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned down to get my books out of my bag.

“No, nothing like that. But thanks for believing in my love ‘game’ I guess,” I answered. Cooper looked off in thought for a moment, then turned back to me.

“You sure? Did you… ever ask that Eden girl out?” he asked me curiously.

“No! Oh gosh. No,” I rushed to get out. “I… it… no, it’s complicated.”

Cooper and Michael gave me a strange look, and Cooper quirked his eyebrow at me.

“Do you… not like Eden?” he asked. I eyed him sheepishly and hid my eyes. I probably should admit it to someone, and it’s not like Michael and Cooper are close to Eden.

“Not… particularly,” I admitted. “She’s sweet, but…”

“Maybe you should ask her out and give it a try?” Michael offered, glancing over at Cooper briefly. I smiled at them both.

“Thanks guys. But… I don’t know about that,” I said. They both stared at me and shrugged before turning to look toward the teacher as he began our lesson.

When I walked into my Spanish class later that afternoon, I was dreaming of Tanis and I having fun flirting with each other. Not that it will happen… just… I can dream, right?

But from the moment I said hello, he seemed to be acting a little strange around me. He wouldn't make eye contact, and he kept fidgeting.

I resolved to make him loosen up a bit by telling a few jokes before class started, and I did get a smile or two, so I think it worked at least a little.

"How's volleyball going? I heard you had a game yesterday. How'd you guys do?" I asked.

"We won," he said. "We have another game next Friday night. It's a home game." He used his hand to brush the hair out of his eyes as he finished getting his homework out. Then, he finally made eye contact with me as he waited for me to say something.

This… maybe this could be it? A way to spend more time with him? I thought about it for a moment, but pushed forward.

"Oh really? Maybe I should go. I want to see you kick the other team’s ass!" I said. Tanis grinned at my comment and seemed to relax and open up a bit more.

He's too cool. This was Tanis’s first year trying out for the team, and he made the cut. I wouldn't say it out loud to him — not yet — but I was so proud. I knew he could do it!

"Sure. Why not? You just do that," he said, and then started laughing at my enthusiasm, all the while still being able to hold our, now almost intimate, eye contact. It was almost making me uncomfortable from all of the lovey-dovey feelings it generated in my heart.

"Okay, quiet down class! I'm taking attendance!" Mrs. Ramirez announced.

"Uh oh. ¡Es la bruja!" I joked. Mrs. Ramirez could be a bit of a witch sometimes. Most of the class hated her, but I actually kind of liked her. Sure, she could be really strict when she wanted to be, though one-on-one she was often really nice. Well, nice to me, at least — though that was probably because I tried really hard to respect and understand the material.

Despite my initial hatred for the idea of taking a foreign language class, a lot had changed in a few weeks. Now, I actually loved Spanish! I found it really interesting to learn another language.

"¡Sí! No me gusta nada su profesora." He giggled and turned to listen to Mrs. Ramirez.

"I don't know. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't," I said. Tanis smiled at me and gave me a shush to shut me up. He looked over at the teacher and glanced back to flash me a grin.

"Pay attention, slacker!" he whispered. I let my draw drop as a joke, and then I threw my pencil at him to piss him off. "Wow. Dude, quit it. she's going to yell at us!"

And, as if on cue, Mrs. Ramirez scolded the two of us, saying sternly, “Niños, escúchame. Pay attention to the lesson. You can talk after class.” With that, she gave us a pointed look and resumed instruction.

“See?” Tanis whispered at me, trying to appear mad and frustrated, but I could see a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"Oh, you're no fun!" I said, and then sunk back down into my chair in a huff. He just rolled his eyes and turned back to listen to the lesson.

I really wish I wasn't so nervous to ask him to hang out. Sure, I've asked people to hang out tons of times in my life so far, but he was… different. He was just, well… him! I would have asked him to hang out sometime a long time ago — if I wasn't scared to death about him saying no. I would have asked him to hang out sometime over summer, but… I was also content just playing video games online with him every now and then. I was afraid to want more.

If I asked him to hang out now though, he wouldn't say no unless he hated my guts, and that doesn't seem like the case. Okay, breathe. I can do it. I will do it. Soon. Going to his game is a good stepping stone.

After what felt like an eternity, the bell rang and signaled the end of the school day. I got up, as per the usual routine, to leave the classroom and meet Denika out in the hall. Tanis leapt out of his seat as always to try and catch up with his friends. This time, however, I was determined to catch up to him.

I packed up as fast as I could and sped up to keep with his pace. When Tanis saw me there, thank God, he slowed down a little to talk to me.

"Way to go for getting us in trouble with the teacher!" he said.

"No problem! Next time, you can get us in trouble with the teacher!" I said, giving him a sarcastic smile.

"Asshole!" He smirked and bumped me with his backpack, nearly knocking me back onto the cold, hard tile as punishment. I heard some snickering from other students lining the halls as we walked by, and I became embarrassed immediately after his little trick.

"Aw, dude! That's not cool!" I yelled while trying to keep myself from turning as red as a lobster with blush, which was incredibly hard to do considering what just happened!

"You mad, bro?" he asked, with a wicked grin plastered on his face. I frowned at him and he erupted into laughter. I held my expression, trying not to laugh too.

“I’m just joking with you,” he said, more quietly.

"Oh har-dee-har-har. Tanis, you're just so funny. I don't know how a single person could be so funny!" I said, slightly recovering from the incident. “I know. We’re good. Just play nice!”

When I looked over at him, he seemed like he might have been blushing now! I couldn't tell if it was from what I just said, or the whole situation though.

"Wow. Okay, well I've got to go. I'll see you later!" He turned and rushed off down a side hallway. That whole conversation was a little bit… odd.

As I was preoccupied trying to decipher any meaning behind any of what had just happened, Denika rushed up to me and gave me a huge hug. She pulled back and grinned at the puzzled expression on my face from the shock.

"Who was that?! Was that him? He's cute!" she excitedly whispered. My eyes widened at what she was saying, and I probably turned beet red at that moment.

"I… uh… um… yeah. His name's Tanis," I mumbled. She squealed and gave me another squeeze.

"I thought so! I think he so totally likes you. I was watching you two talk, and he was blushing and everything! Plus, the look in his eyes kind of gave it away. It seems pretty obvious, you love sick dork… if you ask me. He likes you!" My cheeks burned throughout her whole comment, and I wasn't really sure how to react or respond to her insight. What if he really does like me? That would be my biggest dream come true! Was I too blinded by my own rationalizations to see what might really be going on here? I mean, he could actually like me! Me!

"So… what should I do about that? I don't know how to… proceed. I mean, what if you're wrong, and he doesn't like me?" I asked. Her face scrunched up as she tried to come up with an idea.

"Okay. I think I thought of something. How about first thing tomorrow, I find him and go up and tell him that I know someone who likes him… and that the person just so happens to be a guy. We'll see what kind of reaction we get!" My heart rate increased and adrenaline shot through my veins as she suggested that. The very idea made me fidget and dart my eyes around the hallway.

"What if he connects me back to you somehow?" I asked, trying to poke a hole in this idea.

"Well, that was the first time I've ever seen him. I haven't had any classes with him before, and he didn't even see me, so I think you'll be okay."

This wouldn't end well for me if she went through with it. How could it not backfire? I would be outed to him — and what if Tanis then told someone else about me?

What if he told everyone?

She noticed how worried I looked and tried to encourage me.

"Look, he's probably not going to say 'Really? I'm gay! Can I meet him?' but if he doesn't seem to mind too much, that's a good sign! If however, he says, ‘Oh, gross! Gay faggots are just freaking disgusting!’ then we might have a little problem. Hopefully, it will be fine though… and he won't be able to tell it's you. If he likes you and thinks you're gay too, then this could be a good thing! It could, like, motivate him to flirt with you more or something!"

I sighed and silently agreed to her crazy plan by nodding my head. Tanis wouldn’t be so cruel to out me to the whole school — I couldn’t really see that happening. But… why am I going to let her do this? Just kill me now.

"Great! First thing tomorrow, then! You two will be a couple by the end of the day. What a perfect birthday present that would be, huh? That’s one of my presents for you. Besides my presence, that is." I rolled my eyes.

“You’re going to do this… on my birthday?” I asked, and she nodded. “Well what if it goes horribly wrong? You could ruin my day, you know?”

“Oh hush, you know I’ll be here to make the rest of your day amazing. But I have a feeling this will be a good thing.”

I thought about it for a moment, and although it did seem pretty unrealistic, it was nice to consider the possibility. She laughed at me for daydreaming about it and just walked silently with me the rest of the way home. She could tell that I was too deep in my thoughts to talk, and apparently she found it more interesting to watch me think anyway.

***

I awoke the next morning in a panic.

It was my birthday, and Denika’s twisted idea of a present was to talk to Tanis today. That was supposed to be the plan, at least. Maybe I should call this thing off. How could this possibly end up going well? Maybe it can wait till tomorrow? But if we waited, would I ever let her actually do it? Probably not. Okay, calm down. Maybe it will go great!

Or not.

Who was I kidding? What exactly are we hoping to come from this that is good?

Either way, I forced myself out of bed and got ready for school. I shouldn't dwell on it. I have a tendency to think about things too much. I just need to breathe and hope for the best.

I glanced at my phone and scrolled through some messages. There were some ‘happy birthday’ texts from some of my family and friends. My Aunt Lisa sent me some heart emojis and told me she’d see me soon to celebrate; Denika made sure to remind me about ‘the plan;’ and Megan sent me a sweet message.

Megan: Hey dude! Happy birthday, friendo! You’re 16 now. Woohoo! I want to take you out to celebrate sometime. Maybe we could get a group together to go to a pumpkin patch or something? I know you like fall stuff. I’ll see you at lunch and art class later!

I smiled at the message and agreed. She was cool, and I haven’t spent enough time with her lately. It meant a lot that she remembered it was my birthday.

As I was walking into the kitchen, I saw my mom cross my path in a blur. Before I could say anything, she rounded the corner again and ran up to give me a big hug and a kiss.

“Happy birthday, hun. I love you!” she said, before brushing my hair out of my face with her hand. “Have the best day ever at school and we’ll celebrate tonight!” She smiled and backed away to race out the door again, giving me a small wave on her way.

Just knowing she was there for me and that she supported me, and that Denika did too… those were the best birthday presents. If the rest of this day went crazy, at least I have them.

I walked onto the campus that day scared out of my mind. To keep my mind off of the situation, I admired the pumpkin-shaped paper decorations tied together and strung across the ceilings, along with the occasional pumpkin and leaf pictures adorning the normally plain white walls. I walked past Cooper, who was up on a ladder helping to hang some of them before class — on duty with his little yellow student government nametag on his shirt. Michael was holding the base of it for him, and they seemed like they were in the middle of a lively discussion, so I just kept walking. I’ll get to catch up with them later, anyway.

I had to admit: the red, orange, and gold frills made the school look nice for the season, and the changing colors always reminded me of my birthday. When your birthday falls in Autumn, it comes with all the fun decor. But the changing seasons and my birthday meant that the Homecoming Dance was coming up, too. And that meant there were already couples in the hall asking each other to the dance.

One guy was holding a big poster up to a girl that had ‘Homecoming?’ scrawled across it. My right eye twitched just seeing it. If they could find someone to be happy with, why couldn't I? Who knows, maybe I already have. I just have to wait for this operation to play out and get the results from Denika.

I didn't have Denika in any of my morning classes, and I usually didn't see her before school started because her homeroom was on the other side of the school. So, I had no idea if anything good or bad happened before that first bell rang, especially since she wasn't answering any of my texts. It wasn't for another four grueling hours from now, during lunch period, that I would get the chance to ask her!

I was frustrated and nervous beyond belief walking into my first period class; I was literally shaking! I couldn't even pay attention to the lecture my math teacher gave us about who-knows-what. I was too busy thinking about how this was all such a terrible idea and questioning myself why I told her to do it. Was I in my right mind at the time? Of course not. I was too loved up at the prospect of Tanis and I becoming a couple.

Stupid Denika! She shouldn't have said that part! Why is she so damn persuasive?!

Cooper and Michael wished me a happy birthday as I joined them in bio, and Cooper said something about hoping I got some good gifts and surprises. I thought it was nice that either knew about or remembered what day it was. I should hang out with them more.

When the lunch bell finally rang, I ran out of the room and towards the cafeteria as fast as I could, leaving Cooper and Michael confused as I barely said goodbye. I heard Coop snicker with Michael, saying something about ‘balancing each other’ and ‘Megan.’ Whatever that means. I was just focused on getting to our lunch table. I needed to know what happened. I had practically chewed off my fingernails already in distress overthinking every scenario!

I jogged over to our usual table and waited for everyone else to get there and join me. Kyle showed up first, with Megan following right behind him. Eden came over shortly after, and predictably, she sat next to me. They all wished me a happy birthday, which was nice. I didn’t even know they all knew — maybe Denika or Megan had said something. Or social media notifications? I suppose those help too.

Cooper and Michael showed up a few minutes later and dragged Megan away to talk about homework or something. They all said bye to me and Megan reminded me that we needed to plan our pumpkin patch visit soon. She waved and said she’d see me in art class later.

So that took care of pretty much everyone. But of course the only person not at lunch was Denika! Where was she?! I scanned the lunchroom to see if I could find any sign of her. Unfortunately, I had no such luck.

It was then that something caught me off guard. Eden calmly and boldly took a hold of my hand and held it under the table. The action quickened my pulse and I found it hard to inhale for a moment.

“A pumpkin patch sounds nice. It would be fun to go together,” she said, smiling at me. “With the rest of the group that is!” She directed her attention back to eating her lunch for a moment, and all I could do was give a weak grin and nod in response.

This was bad! I'm supposed to be growing distant and ending things, not getting closer to her! She gripped my hand tighter and glanced up at me to smile briefly before going back to her conversation with the others. I decided to just go about eating and talking as I normally did. I couldn't bring myself to shrug her away. Why did I let it go this far?! I had to end it! I'll do it tomorrow. I probably shouldn't do it on my birthday, plus I was too stressed already today.

***

After not seeing Denika at lunch, I was nearly white with fear walking into Spanish to see Tanis. Would he say anything? Does he know or think it's me? I really hoped not, but what if he did? What if he actually starts to flirt with me more like Denika said he might? Was I even prepared for that?! I would faint if he told me something as simple as 'I like your shirt.'

What I found though, when he walked into the room to sit down, was more of the same behavior I saw in him at the beginning of class yesterday.

…Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

I tried talking to him a little bit, but all I could get were short answers — and he completely avoided my eyes. Something was not right here. What did Denika do?!

The bell went off and Tanis began to rapidly pack up as usual, but he turned toward me before running out of the room.

“Happy birthday, Dylan. I’ll see you later,” he said sweetly, then waved and hotfooted out of Spanish faster than I had ever seen him leave before.

Was… that the flirting Denika said I should expect? Did Denika tell him it was my birthday? Or was he just being nice? Maybe he was being all weird and fidgety because he’s uncomfortable around me now, and he just felt obligated to say ‘happy birthday.’ Because he knows?

Oh God he probably knows. He figured it all out.

I needed to know what happened.

I rushed out into the hall myself, desperate to find Denika and demand some answers. My adrenaline was at an all time high as I frantically paced the hallways trying to find my soon-to-be former best friend. When I finally saw her round a corner, my heart was threatening to burst right out of my chest, and I walked over to her with a pleading look in my eyes.

"Please… tell me what happened? Tell me! What happened Denika?!" I asked, raising my voice. She must have thought I seemed crazy right then, from her expression.

"Okay… well, happy birthday, first of all. Love you!” I rolled my eyes and said thank you. It was very sweet, but I needed answers!

“I was able to find him this morning, and I told him exactly what I told you I'd tell him. I told him that I knew someone that liked him, and that someone was a guy," she said, doing her best to put me at ease.

"Well?! What did he say?" I asked, shaking her gently to get across how freaked out I was by the situation.

"Calm down, you nutcase. It was a good reaction," she smiled at me as my face went blank while I tried to understand what she was saying. "He blushed and said, 'Okay.'"

I backed away from her slowly and shambled over towards my locker down the hall like a zombie to get my books. Denika followed closely behind and laughed at my deadpan face.

"See? I think that's a good sign. It's not any concrete evidence or anything, but he blushed. That's got to be a good thing! Right?!" I spun my head to look at her and finally felt able to speak again.

"I… uh… I guess it is. Yeah. I… don't really know what to say to that," I said honestly.

She grinned and leaned up against the locker next to mine as I fumbled with the lock. I finally managed to get the combination in and the lock clicked for me to open the locker. I pulled it open and it creaked back for me to look inside and get my stuff out. As soon as the door was open though, something fell out from inside and fluttered onto the ground. A loose piece of paper? I bent down to pick it up. What I found was no regular piece of paper, however. This paper was cut into the shape of a pumpkin and had a note scrawled out on it; it was a letter… from a secret admirer.

“Hey Dylan,

I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.

Also, well…

I wanted to tell you what you mean to me. I love spending time with you, and you always seem to bring a smile to my face.

I think I might… have feelings for you. Like, I like you. Like you like ‘that.’ I have for a while now.

While I'd like to believe you feel the same way, I'm just not sure. We have fun with each other whenever we talk — At least, I do. I really hope you do too. I can only wish for you to find me as entertaining, sweet, and funny as I find you. We've been getting closer recently (maybe not in your opinion, but even small talks are highlights for me), and I really would like for us to continue doing so.

I’m sorry if this is a lot… I get tied up in my head sometimes but it’s nice to get this down on paper. That you mean a lot to me.

I just wanted you to know: there is someone out there who has very much fallen for you, and while they may not admit that to you yet, they're there. I'll remain anonymous for now, but if you’re interested, and if you look closely, you might figure me out on your own.

If you’re not interested, hey, at least consider this a birthday card from someone who cares — and knows you like the fall!

Love,

Anonymous”