Lust in London - 12. Chapter 12

Two days before Christmas morning came without fanfare. Alex had finally fallen asleep, curled up cat-like in the wingback chair. He was in quite the peculiar pose; his legs were crossed, as were his arms. His head was set to the side, leaning upon one of the wings. He had barely left the chair all night long. The sunlight that crackled through the ice-glazed windows disrupted his slumber. There was a lone bright beam of light that shone right through and landed right on his face. Alex opened his brown eyes slowly, only to shut them quickly or be blinded. He grimaced and tried to turn his head. The position he’d left it in had frozen up his joints; his neck was quite stiff. Alex uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on either side of his head, slowly pulling up and repositioning his sore neck. I know better than to sleep like this. Oh well, it’ll wear off I suppose. He slowly uncrossed his legs and noticed quickly the uncomfortable pins-n-needles sensation that besieged them. After a few minutes, the blood flow had returned. Alex left his nest to get some water and answer nature’s call.

Alex freshened up and tried to see clearly again. It took several doses of eye drops to get the red out of them. He’d blame everything, the cold, the heat, the crying, and even the blanket’s fibers for irritating his eyes. His stomach growled; letting him instantly know its displeasure at being ignored for so long. Alex sighed. Guess I gotta eat. Don’t know what, but I don’t want to be sick. Let’s see what I have. Alex perused the pantry for something suitable. He finally settled upon a small pack of powdered sugar donuts. Now that breakfast was found, all that was missing was a beverage. Alex opened the refrigerator and found his bottle of skim milk. How ironic. Skim milk with donuts? That’s got to be breaking some kind of nutritional law somewhere. He laughed to himself. To hear himself laugh and think of something else other than his agony was an amazing relief. Alex smiled slightly and opened his pack of donuts. He walked over to the dining table and finished his breakfast in silent contemplation. He glanced at the clock, 7:30 am. Work began in an hour. After that he’d be leaving for his parent’s house. He took a quick peek at the internet and checked the society announcements. The ad was still there. He’d bookmarked it. He’d been lucky enough to have found out the name of the hall and the time too. All he had to do now was wait a month.

In the meantime, Christmas was enjoyed at his parent’s house. He got a phone call from Paolo too, and Jake. They all exchanged e-cards.

Finally, a new year ushered itself in. That frigid January morning finally arrived. Alex donned his finest suit, dress shoes, and tie. He looked quite dapper in his own opinion. He hadn’t talked to or laid eyes on Mason this entire past month. He’d hoped their troubles had been laid to rest. He had to see this wedding for two reasons. Proof, first of all. He had to see this happen no matter what. Secondly, to prove that there was really nothing there in the first place.

Paolo had written him several times, but he kept the tone jovial. He always said things were just fine, don’t worry about me, how are you? It’d been over a week since Alex had heard from him. There had been nearly incessant chatter about a newcomer named Hector that Paolo was infatuated with. He’d go on endlessly about the man’s attributes and sexual prowess. Alex usually skimmed this part of the emails; he didn’t want to read someone else’s description of what he longed for so much. 10 am, time to go the hall. Alex got into his car and drove away.

The location of the wedding was lovely. It was in the middle of a park in town. The snowy ground had been cleared to the gazebo in the center. Mason had always been quite the nature lover. Even though the temperature was barely above freezing, he’d still hold the ceremony outside. Alex took in the lavish decorations. Everything was in shades of blue, which he guessed was both men’s favorite color. The gazebo was dazzling with strings of blue mini-lights, and long, flowing strands of blue flowers hung from all gables. The pathway itself had been cleared as well as possible and covered with a long red carpet. Blue rose petals were scattered on each side. Even the judge was dressed in a blue suit. There were no visible attendants, only guests. Alex had to wonder if Mason’s family even knew this was happening.

After waiting in the car for about 10 minutes, a black limousine drove up. Elliott got out first. His dark hair looked pitch black against the stark white background. He seemed to look around at the parked cars suspiciously, but was distracted. Mason got out next, Alex felt his heart jump. He looked so handsome. The tuxedos were complete with vests and ascots, both in blue. Mason’s hair was pulled back into a gelled ponytail, not a single stray hair. Elliott took his hand and held him close.

Alex clenched his jaw. “Unhand him, you prick!” He wanted to leap from the car and stop all of this. It was all too surreal, the winter’s harsh climate, the all-too-soon way in which this was being conducted. Everything.

Alex watched the couple wait at the end of aisle and for the musical cue. Finally, the music began and the couple marched down the carpet together. Mason hadn’t looked around even once. Alex felt his heart sink.

He watched enviously as the vows were exchanged, and the rings. He caught a glimpse of Mason’s eyes, even at this distance. He saw the one thing he never saw before in them himself, love. That was it, it was truly over. Did he fight for a dying horse? No, simply pull out the gun and get it over with. Alex fell over the steering wheel and stifled his tears. He started up the engine, which startled most of the small gathering. He circled around the lot once more and stopped in front of the altar. Mason looked over and their eyes met again. Alex waited for a moment. Mason took a half-step in Alex’s direction, but Elliott pulled him back.

“Leave him alone!” Finally, after a long moment, Mason looked back up and mouthed, “I’m sorry” to Alex. He held up his left hand showing the ornate wedding band. He looked back at Elliott and pulled him close.

That was it. It was over. Alex put the car in gear and peeled off the lot.

****

The next morning had been much like a month prior. It had snowed overnight, a fresh 5” of fluffy flakes. Alex looked out the window and up at the gray sky. He’d barely slept all night again. The firewood ran out quickly, he opted for the pile of catalogs in the corner instead. He’d spent at least two hours making piles of “paper logs” to use. It kept his hands busy at least.

Alex glanced at his watch; it was only 6:30 am, far too early. He felt too tired to be awake, but too frustrated and heartbroken to be asleep. He considered going to the Dr. to get some sedative or something to help him sleep. Not in this weather, though. He’d have to wait.

The house was silent. Once again the TV and radio were his enemies. All they told were stories of doom and gloom and of love gone awry. Alex could take little more. He’d even broken down and called his mother last night. She could always soothe him better than anyone else. If the weather hadn’t been so bad, she would’ve been over there cooking up a batch of chocolate-chip cookies for certain.

Alex tried to feel alive in more than just the simple literal sense. He needed to eat, which his stomach reminded him of quite loudly. “Fine, fine, what do you want this time?” He got to his feet and scoped out what the pantry had to offer this time. There was a box of crackers, some snack cakes, and little else. Alex scratched his head.

“Hmm, maybe I’ll have some yogurt.” He looked in the fridge and searched for any flavor he could locate. Finally, at the back of the fridge sat one lonely container of strawberry. He smiled and reached for it. His glee was short-lived, however. Once he opened it, he realized the expiration date had long-since passed. That or the strawberries had grown back their green tops. He tossed the yogurt into the trash and wandered over to the sink. He could feel the icy wind come through the older windows of the house. It hit him right at eye level, making them water. “Dammit, stupid old house!” Alex turned on the water to flush his eyes when there was a knock at the door. His heart skipped a beat. “Omg, could it be? Has he come to his senses at last?” Alex ran to the door and unlocked it as quickly as he could. “What in the hell are you doing here?”

It was Mason!

“What the hell-?”

Mason pushed his way inside. “I had to check in on you. You won’t answer your cell phone or your emails.”

Alex crossed his arms and scowled. “Why should you care? Aren’t you married now?”

Mason shook his head and took the young man’s arms. “I made a terrible mistake marrying Eli. I left him right before we were supposed to jet off to our honeymoon. I finally cornered him and stood up to him!”

“Are you ok? That ass didn’t take a swing at you, did he?”

“No, he knew better than to try it. I’m in better shape now than I was when he and I were first together.”

Alex looked the man up and down. “Come inside, sit down. I don’t have much to eat here, but I can offer you a couple things.”

Mason caught his hand. “Alex, the only thing I want offered is your forgiveness. I acted like a complete ass! That night at the restaurant when all of this began heading downhill, I didn’t know how to react. He showed up and kissed me and made me feel like…”

“In love all over again?”

“…no, like vomiting! I felt like his property, hardly his equal. He has a degree higher than me and he’ll always rub my damn nose in it.”

“How did he convince you to marry him?”

“He sweet-talked me, more of a con job. He said that I belonged on his level, not with some urchin like you who’s still wet behind the ears. He apologized for everything, and I bought it for some inexplicable reason.”

“Mas…”

“Alex, can you forgive me at all? I’m truly shocked you’re even able to speak to me without holding a sharp object or a weapon to my head, but…”

“The only question you never answered was how you felt about me. I’d told you, but you never answered me back. I figured that was it, that I was too damn young and way out of my league with you. I chalked it up to naiveté and tried to survive.”

“Please, let’s try again? I’ve left Eli for good. What do you say?”

Alex backed up and reached for the chair. Here was his every wish coming true! What would he do? He swallowed hard and caught his breath.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Mason’s mouth opened wide. “Excuse me?”

“You expect me to take you back? After ditching me to get married? After calling me all kinds of names and getting pissed off at me for not doing what I don’t want to do in bed? Not to mention even telling me how you feel about me, which, by the way, I still don’t know. Mason, you’re my every wet dream come to life, but-“

“No. You’re not going to turn me down! After everything I’ve just done-“

“After all of that, I should have you freakin arrested! Dammit! You broke my heart! You married somebody else! You need to get outta here and go find your husband.”

“But I told you, I left-“

“Yes, yes.” Alex repeated. He rolled his eyes. “I don’t care”.

Mason fought tears. “What?”

“I simply can’t care anymore, Mas. See, you may have lusted after me, fucked me, lied to me, but you were never a good partner. You simply don’t have what it takes.”

“Alex you can’t be serious, after our adventure in England?”

“Our adventure?” He stifled a hearty laugh. “Our adventure was an elongated one-night stand gone awry! You came, we fucked, you left. You came back, we fucked, you left. There was no commitment, no love there. You used me! We had an awful long-distance whatever. Well it’s over now. You ended it. I moved on.”

Alex stood back with his hands on his hips. For once, he felt the power and assertion surging through his veins. He was finally standing up to his awful treatment.

Mason bowed his head and looked into the young man’s eyes. “Fine, so be it. You are too young for me, and too immature. You sound like a damn girl with all this commitment crap!”

Alex laughed. “I sound like a girl? I’m not the one who got married and ran away! What do we call you, the runaway groom? Get outta here, Mason. I hope you find Eli back and he makes you happy. Leave me be.”

“You’re sure?”

“Very.”

“Fine.” Mason picked up his coat, threw it over himself, and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Alex felt a wave of bravery mix with emotion. He fought back tears and won this time. He walked over to the door and peered through the small window next to it. “I win.”