Refugees - 6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

 

The moment David and Robert arrived home, all hell broke loose.

David slammed the door shut, surprising Robert. “Unbelievable! They’re getting remarried and starting a family! Not even two months after ditching my ass!”

 

Robert tried to reach out and calm his friend. “It was meant to happen. Phil and I hadn’t ever set a date either time we were engaged. I knew he wasn’t serious.” Robert tried to reach for David’s arm, but was denied.

 

“How can you be so calm about this? I’d fallen in love with that bastard. Watched over him and his kid! Even her mom! I met his parents. Everything!”

 

Robert approached gingerly. “Shhh, I know. Let this anger out, it’s been tormenting you.”

 

David scowled. “What about your anger? Or was it your lust? I saw it in your eyes every time you looked at Phillip. You still love him.”

 

Robert’s face grew flushed. “He’s important to me!”

 

“He dumped you like a hot potato!”

 

“Like Andy did to you? At least mine was in person!” The two stood back from each other for a moment and took a deep breath. “I’m over Phillip! It’s been over for a long time. Are you really over Andrew, David? You fret over him as if you two were still lovers!”

 

Robert backed away and walked down the hall to the bedroom.

 

David followed. “Rob, I’m trying my best. You know what I went through!”

 

Robert nodded. “Yeah, I know. I know all about it. It sucks! It royally sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it. How do you think I hurt my hands? I punched the daylights out of the bag at the gym. I pretended it was Phillip’s face! I had to let him go. You need to let Andy go.”

 

David snarled back at his friend. “Why should I? No one wants me! The only men who ever do end up leaving me anyway! Fuck it. Never mind. I’m going out into the hot tub.”

 

Robert tossed his hands in the air. “Fine. Go drown your sorrows in your new distraction. Maybe you can deal with them when you’re waterlogged!” Robert slammed the door behind him.

 

David wanted to knock on the door, but didn’t. He backed away, walked over to his own bedroom, and shut the door behind him. Not five minutes later, David came out from his bedroom, dressed in his swim trunks. They were a dark maroon and grazed his kneecaps. He wasn’t particularly fond of them; they were there for only one purpose.

 

David opened the double doors out to the expansive patio. In the corner was the new hot tub that’d been installed just before everything blew up. It hadn’t even been used yet. After a quick review of the control panel, David started the jets and climbed into the tub.

 

Robert rubbed his eyes, rolled off the bed and opened up his dresser. Dammit, David! We’re both miserable. Today was very hard for both of us, not just you! Guess I’ll go join him and be the good guy. He rifled through the drawers and finally found his swim trunks. They were wrinkled, but it didn’t matter. The water would straighten them out. He changed quickly.

 

David sat at the back of the tub, the past two months playing out in his mind like an eternally looping video. He shut his eyes suddenly, seeing the note and ring on the hall table. He wondered if he’d ever have a wedding band or even a promise ring. Twice now he’d asked, and to no avail.

 

His mind spun back in time to his once beloved Connor, his first love. Connor was 5’10”, with blond hair and brown eyes. He seemed to have taken David’s young heart by storm, but ended up leaving him in the cold. On the day of their commitment ceremony, Connor decided not to show. David’s heart was shattered. He went home that night and cried until dawn. He vowed never to fall in love again. Luckily, with family support and the help of his boss, Cal, who was his best friend, he was able to recover. His heart had healed, and the bitterness had abated. It took him four years, but he finally recovered enough to love again. Unfortunately, this last time was almost as bad as Connor leaving him. At least Andrew left a note and had remorse. That worked in his favor.

 

David felt his face grow hotter as his painful memories surfaced. The onslaught tortured his mind. Soon, tears welled in his eyes and dripped down his cheeks. He bowed his head and watched them fall into the spa. He’d fought every ounce of pain, embarrassment, guilt, everything for two long months. Finally, he surrendered to the agony. David lowered his face into his hands and cried deeply. His nose breathed in the water, and made it sting from the chlorine. He swatted the water away from his nose and quickly shifted to the back and positioned his arms on the edge of the tub. David laid his forehead down and sobbed. The pain slipped away with his tears. It felt good to cry and let it out. He didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed as he let the tears flow unimpeded.

 

Moments later, Robert walked out to the tub and saw David hunched over the edge of the tub. Robert quickened his pace.

“David, what is it?”

 

The blond quickly shifted his face away. “Shit! I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

 

He tried to hide his handsome, wet face, but Robert took his hands. “Don’t hide from me, please? Let me help you, we’re here to help each other, come on.”

 

David calmed for a moment. “Climb in if you’d like.” David smiled and turned around to face his friend. He felt calmer just with Robert’s very presence. Finally, David’s silence broke. “Such a gorgeous ring he had on. I wish I could’ve bought him something so nice. Hmmm, I have to wonder if he would’ve kept it. Would he have said yes if I gave him a bigger ring?”

 

Robert shook his head. “No, I don’t think he would’ve. His heart was set on Phillip from the start. You could’ve bought him the Hope Diamond and he wouldn’t have said yes.”

 

David looked over at his friend. He was blurred in the darkness, seen through bleary eyes. “Rob, when… when will I get a ring on that finger?” He pointed to his bare left hand. “Can you tell me?”

 

Robert pursed his lips and held him close. “I wish I could.”

 

David sniffed a few times and held on. “Rob, you’re my rock. I don’t think I’d get by without you.”

 

“Same here. I care for you so much.”

 

They kissed lightly and David sank his face into Rob’s shoulder. They sat quietly for a few moments as Rob tried to console his friend.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here,” David admitted. “I hate being alone, always have. Especially in a house, all by myself.”

 

Rob grinned. “I’m happy to be here. I hate being alone too. I didn’t want to live with my parents anymore. I love them to death, but I’m a grown man! I’m almost 27. Wanna talk about it more?”

 

David nodded. “I wonder if I’ll ever get a real man to fill this hole in my heart.”

 

“You will, trust me. I wondered that as well. I fell in love with the same man twice and I’ve had three marriage proposals. I was married for 18 months, and then it all fell apart. Can I tell you something?”

 

“Anything.”

 

Robert looked into his friend’s face and brushed away his tears with his lips. “You’re the best friend that I’ve ever had.”

 

David smiled. “Really?”

 

“Yes! Cleve was a great lover, but we were never friends. Phillip—we know what he was besides my twice-over fiancé. We were never friends either. That’s why I’m so glad we’re friends first! We’ve grown together and helped each other through this hellish episode of our lives. I truly do care for you, David Griffin.”

 

The two stared at each other for a moment, and joined their foreheads.

 

“You’re my angel…,” Rob whispered. He held David tighter, tears beginning in his own eyes.

 

David was surprised; he’d never had another man cry with him before. “Shhh, don’t you start! Honey….”

 

“Try and stop me. I’m a guy, but I get very emotional when it really counts. You count.”

 

The two men held each other for a long moment.

 

David drew back. “I wonder all the time, is it me? Is there something about me or something wrong with me? Why did they do that?” He broke into tears again.

 

Robert held back tears himself as he took his friend into his arms again. David didn’t hold back at all. He sobbed deeply, feeling his own inner pain down to his very core.

 

“Shhh, I know bud, I know. Neither of us have had happy endings.” He stroked David’s hair. “I care about you and I want to see you happy. David, shhh….” Robert began crying himself again. “I know it sucks, I wanted Phillip with all my heart and body and soul but he didn’t even really want me!”

 

David felt Robert’s tears hit his shoulder and pulled back. “Damn, I didn’t want you to start again!”

 

Robert grinned. “Too late.”

 

The two bawled together. They were lightly wrapped in each other’s arms, their bodies pushed together beneath the water’s surface. After a few moments, they calmed and separated.

 

David wiped his eyes. “I-I’ve never had anyone hold me and cry with me before, not since Aunt Naomi did after my parents died.”

 

Robert leaned on his elbow and fingered David’s chest. “I care for you David, our pain is similar.”

 

“Yes, the broken heart club. Lucky us, huh?”

 

“Lucky us.”

 

“Yeah.” David scooted over to pull Robert in his arms. “You’re very handsome Rob, a very sexy man.”

 

David took in Robert’s appearance, the wet brunet locks, the light brown hair on his chest made darker by the violent waters, his shorter, fit body, and his beard. The one feature that truly stood out though was his sapphire blue eyes. They’d darkened due to the dim lighting, but David had admired them since the two met eight weeks ago. He remembered their first meeting as clear as day. Robert and his numb, sore hands, and broken spirit met David and his broken heart. It was a match made in heaven.

 

Robert noticed David’s faraway look. “Penny for your thoughts.”

 

“Just recalling our first meeting, the two victims.”

 

“Yeah, I know. I firmly believe that things will get better, for both of us.”

 

Rob looked into David’s green eyes and stroked his face. Their eyes met and they stroked each other’s wet hair. Rob sat down upon David’s lap and cleared his friend’s face of stray tears. Their bodies pressed together and their breathing synchronized. Rob stroked David’s highlighted blond hair as the therapist held Rob closer, perusing the man’s body.

 

David kissed the man lightly. “I’m really very glad that you’re here with me.”

 

“I like being here, I love my parents and siblings but you and I have gone thought the same hurt. We have that terrible commonality.”

 

David adjusted his arms. “Am I holding you too tight?”

 

“No, you’re doing just fine, I’m comfortable again,” Robert said quietly.

 

“That’s good.”

 

Robert eyed his friend and softly kissed him. “Is that okay? I mean—“

 

“I was hoping you’d do that.”

 

Robert grinned ear to ear. “Really?”

“Yes.”

 

They kissed several more times. David held Rob in his arms and just soaked in having a man this close to him. He heard thunder rumble in the distance, but didn’t stop.

 

David pulled himself away a bit. “I don’t wanna jump into anything again, especially with what just happened….”

 

Robert nodded. “I understand, completely. I pined for the same man for years. I had to let him go. I had a great guy, but I didn’t love him.”

 

David propped his elbow up and tilted his head to look into Robert’s eyes. He took the man’s right hand and kissed it.

 

“Rob, I don’t want to put you on the spot, but, what do you think, I mean, do we have a future?”

 

Robert’s eyes widened, and he stammered in reply. “Dav….”

 

David let go of the hand and looked away. “No, no stop. Never mind….”

 

Robert reached for his shoulders and turned him around to face him again. “Dav… David. Stop, okay? You’re a great guy and you’ve been hurt very badly. Connor, what can I say, cold feet? Andrew, he was already married and has always been in love with Phil. I can’t guarantee anyone anything, but I do know what I want.”

 

“What do you want?” David asked quietly.

 

Robert pointed to his left hand. “I also want that wedding ring, again. I kept the one Cleve gave me for a while. I even called him, or tried to anyway. I talked to his brother and got a PO Box to send it to.” Robert clasped his hand over his mouth. “I hurt him so much and for what? Phil? He fuckin’ talked me into leaving Cleve! I feel so guilty about that!”

 

David steadied his friend. “You didn’t know. You hoped it’d work out, but it didn’t. There’s no shame in that, Robby.”

 

Robert smiled at the nickname. “Robby?”

 

David averted his eyes. “Sorry, it just slipped out.”

 

“It’s okay, I like it. I haven’t had a nickname before, especially from someone I haven’t ever slept with.” He kissed David gently. “Well, not yet.” He kissed his friend again, longer this time.

 

David had to pry himself away. “Rob, mmm, Rob, gawd you are such a handsome man.”

Robert smiled, but a tear escaped his eye. He remembered all the nights he’d spent alone, pining for Phillip. He’d wanted to be the number one man in his life, to be the adorable hunk in Phillip’s bed. Instead, he’d felt like a piece of trash, the one left at the curb that everyone ignored.

 

“Thank you. I felt so ugly with Phil. I tried everything I could. Everything.”

 

David stroked his friend’s hair. “He was a lovesick fool.”

 

“I was in love with him, so blindly. I hated Andrew so much. I always thought it was my fault. I wasn’t good enough, hot enough, and not decent in bed! Dammit….” Tears started from his sapphire eyes once more.

 

David brushed them away and pulled Robert into a bear hug. “Shhh, Rob, it’s okay. It’s not you! A love relationship, a sexual one, is only as good as the two people involved. Phillip wasn’t committed, I could tell Andrew wasn’t either, I knew it.”

 

Robert pulled his face away. “Will this hurt ever go away?”

 

“I’ve been wondering that forever, but I have to believe it will.” David grasped Robert’s chin for a moment and looked into his eyes. “We have to have hope, Rob! We have to!” They hugged for a long moment.

 

“I tell you, if I get hurt again, I don’t know what I’d do!”

 

David touched Robert’s hot cheek. “You’d move on, just as you always have. You’re a survivor, my friend.”

 

Rob smiled and smoothed his hands through David’s wet flaxen hair. “So are you, David. I’m glad we found each other.”

 

“Me too, very much.” He kissed Rob’s face and continued down to his neck and shoulders. He covered his naked chest with long, deep kisses, and smoothed his pale hands over the skin.

 

Robert laid his arms around his friend’s neck lazily and tilted his head back so his neck could be barraged with kisses. He caught his breath for a moment.

 

“David….”

 

David continued kissing him. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

“No, no, I don’t. But it’s too soon; we’re just in recovery yet.”

 

David finally paused. “I wanna move on, so bad, very bad.”

“I do too, but I want it to last, forever, the rest of my life. I don’t wanna be stupid again and fall for someone who doesn’t love me or we’re not right for each other—we should slow down….”

 

“Robby...,” David said breathily into his friend’s ear.

 

The hot breath in his ear made Robert’s toes curl and he slipped his arms around David’s full chest. He let himself be devoured into the man’s arms and affections. After a few marvelous moments, Robert drew back, albeit quite reluctantly.

 

“Why’d you pull away?” David asked with a pout.

 

“I’m moving too fast, this is all too much too soon. I need to go inside.” He backed away and stood up to leave.

 

“Wait, please?” David stood up and grabbed for his hand. “I’m sorry, I am. I’m so fucking lonely and hurt and out of my mind. I don’t, I can’t drive you away too!” Robert turned back and they sat down again. They held hands as David continued. “Why did he just leave me? Why? Didn’t I make a home for him and his kid? Didn’t I try to make love to him?” David broke into sobs again.

 

Robert hugged him again. “David, shhh, see, it’s too soon, it’s way too soon.”

 

“You’re right, you are, I’m not alone. Please don’t leave, I won’t push for anything.”

 

“I know you won’t. Hey, overall I gotta give myself a pat on the back, I’m an excellent planner.”

 

“How’s that?” David asked.

 

“Well, hitting that bag so hard and being referred to you. How’s that for a great idea?”

 

David smiled and laughed. “Yeah, good one on your part.”

 

“Hey, got you to laugh and smile. It’s been a bitch of a day, come on, let’s get inside before the storm hits and just relax.”

 

“I’m all for that.” David took his hand and they shut off the tub and covered it, then finally headed inside.

 

The two men entered the house, redressed and calmed down. Not five minutes later, lightning flashed and it began to heavily rain.

“Wow, good call on the weather, bud.” They sat on the loveseat by the window and listened to the water hit the windows and roof.

 

“I’ve always loved listening to storms,” Robert said airily.

 

David looked over at his friend and smiled. “So have I. My brother wanted to be a storm chaser, but his wife would kill him if he did it.”

 

Robert chortled. “I could see that. I like Daniel. He’s a good guy. Your nephew and nieces are adorable. What time are we getting together next Sunday?”

 

David smiled. “Uh, three I think.”

 

“Man, that’s so cool that your family doesn’t mind your lifestyle.”

 

David cocked his head. “Your family has a problem with yours? They seem very cool with it from what I’ve seen.”

 

“Oh, they are. Yeah, we’re fine, Dad finally got okay with it when he realized I wasn’t just going through a phase.”

 

David smirked. “My parents were like that too. God rest their souls.”

 

“How did they die?”

 

“I thought I told you?”

 

“Nope.”

“Oh, well, it was a car wreck. It was late, pitch black, and the road they were on was under construction. They hit a patch of loose asphalt and Dad lost control of the car. The tree they hit was a 100-year old oak. That pretty much took care of that. This was back before airbags on both sides too.”

 

“I’m so sorry! How old were you?”

 

“I was eighteen. Daniel was twenty-four and had just gotten married. He took me in for a little while. Gabrielle was such a good sport about it all, giving up her honeymoon year so that I could live with them.”

 

“That’s a good sis-in-law. I wonder sometimes if Serena will ever find the right guy. She seems to bounce from one guy to the next.” Robert covered his mouth in embarrassment. “Err, that’s not how I wanted it to sound, either.”

 

David laughed. “It’s cool. I know what you meant.”

 

Robert sat back and adjusted his outfit of shorts and a T-shirt. “This is so cool, just sitting and talking. Cleve wasn’t much of a talker. He was more a doer, if you get my drift.”

 

“I know what you mean. Connor was very horny. We did it about three times a day in the beginning. He was so energetic. I wonder where he is now.”

 

Robert scooted closer to David and put his arm around his shoulder. “Do you still miss him?”

 

David shook his head. “I had to get over him. I had no other choice. Andy didn’t give me a choice, either. Men are such horrible creatures to fall in love with.”

 

Robert nodded. “They are finicky animals for sure. Hey, want a beer or something?”

 

“Do we have any?”

 

“I went to the store yesterday, should be some. Unless some mystery guest has been coming here and swilling our beer.”

 

“No one that I’m aware of. Come on, I’ve got an idea.”

 

David stood up and took Robert’s hand. They walked together over to the kitchen. David retrieved the beer from the fridge and vanilla ice cream from the freezer. He got out two tall parfait glasses and two spoons.

 

Robert smiled. “Beer floats?”

 

“Of course! We don’t have any root beer; let’s go for the real thing.”

 

Robert laughed aloud. “Sounds good to me! Set ‘em up, barkeep!”

 

David prepared the sundaes and the two toasted each other with the creations. “To our friendship, Robert. May it be forever.”

 

“I’ll drink to that.”

 

They drank a bit of their beverages and set them back on the counter. David pulled Robert in for a long, warm hug. “Thank you, for tonight. I feel a lot better.”

 

“You’re welcome. Hey, I’m glad you got it out! I felt like you were a volcano about to erupt.”

 

“I wasn’t the only one.”

 

“True.”

 

David glanced down into Robert’s blue eyes. They inched closer and kissed a few times. “I hope, when I’m ready to again, that I won’t have to look very far.”

 

Robert licked his lips and tasted the barley-tainted saliva from his friend. “You won’t. Trust me.”

 

They sat back on the loveseat and talked until dawn. They fell asleep curled up in each other’s arms.