Finding Alex - 1. Story

Part I

The cabin looked beautiful nestled next to a picturesque lake surrounded by hills covered in evergreens. As I made my way down the drive and parked in the crowded parking lot, I could understand why Sara picked here to get married. I still couldn’t believe my little sister was getting married. The wild, spoiled party girl was finally settling down. Chris had tamed Sara fresh out of college. Well, they had been together off and on throughout college, and I’d had to listen to her rant and rave about how he’d been unfair or had hurt her feelings. Now, in an hour or so, Dad would be walking her down the aisle to give her away.

Sara knew me well enough not to ask me to be part of the wedding party, but I couldn’t get out of wearing a tux. I could never say no to Sara growing up, and now I was stuck wearing this uncomfortable get-up just for her. It was bad enough that I felt obligated to attend a wedding in the first place. She was my only sibling. I had wanted a younger brother, but I finally warmed up to the idea of having a sister when she was five and I figured out that I could blame things on her and she wouldn’t get into trouble. Her smile and bouncy blonde curls would save her when I would most certainly have been in deep if I’d been caught doing whatever it was.

I sighed and smoothed out my tux, making sure my tie was still straight, and started walking up the long, curved gravel driveway that led to the cabin’s entrance, where my family and friends gathered for the event. The driveway was lined with posts decorated with hanging baskets full of white roses and ribbons. At the front stairs, an arch curved over the porch where my sister would walk in for the ceremony.

My mom had a field day planning this little event. Luckily, it distracted her from trying to convince me to settle down and get married. I’m twenty-four, just a little under three years older than Sara, and in Mom’s mind I’m late in advancing my life to the next stage.

As I approached the cabin and heard the loud, boisterous family waiting inside, I sidestepped the entrance to get a better view of the lake. It was early summer, so people were out boating, enjoying the lake. My family had owned this property for years, but the cabin was only built new a few years ago after my father retired. Now we finally found a use for it as a family.

“Are you avoiding us?” Emily asked as she joined me at the porch railing. Growing up, Emily was my best friend until high school when we went to different schools.

“Of course,” I answered, laughing as I turned to look at her. She was wearing an ugly, navy-blue bridesmaid dress, and I smirked when she caught me looking.

“I know I look like a trashy sailor,” she said as she looked me over, “but that’s still better than a cheap-ass penguin.”

“Says you,” I countered, crossing my arms. “How’s the family?”

“Still as loud as ever, can’t you tell?” She nodded toward the door as her mother’s laughter rose above the rest of the clamor.

“I sure can,” I answered, leaning against the cabin. “Where’s Sadie?”

“In college. Summer classes,” Emily responded, rolling her eyes. “Getting trashed with her new boyfriend of the month.”

“Hey, Sara was just like that in college. She’ll be alright,” I said. “At least we know we won’t be entertained later with a table dance or something when we’re about to die from all the other shit.”

“Not the wedding type, cousin?” She asked, nudging me in the shoulder.

“Whatever gave you that idea, cousin?” I countered, smiling. “Endless amounts of pictures, sugar-loaded cake, and fake smiles… can’t wait.”

“If you survive, I’ll be shocked,” she said. “But since I’m the matron of honor, I better go see to your little sister.”

“Ok,” I offered as Emily walked back into the fray of the family, leaving me alone on the front porch.

I allowed myself another look at the calming lake before turning away to go face the not-so-calming family. I let out a long sigh. I loved my family, but sometimes their expressive eyes and their pointed comments can be a bit overwhelming, even more so after a long absence between get-togethers. It’d been a year since Emily’s wedding to Steve, the last family occasion. Through this cabin door, though, they all were present and accounted for, and as I tried to quietly make my entrance, they all took their turn to glance at my failed attempt of stealthiness.

“No date?” Mom asked, looking over my shoulder just in case she missed that special someone I had finally brought to meet her.

“No,” I answered. “Now Mom, don’t start on me.”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” she countered as she started untying my bowtie. “When are you men going to learn to tie these things?”

“I tied it,” I answered. “Just not good enough to suit you.”

“Oh, hush,” she said. “A drunkard could’ve done a better job than that.”

“Fine,” I laughed. She patted me on the chest when she’d finished, then looked me over.

“You’re too thin,” she examined as she stepped around me, putting her arm on my lower back to push me deeper into the family.

“I eat fine,” I said, gently trying to escape my mother’s grasp. No such luck, as I was steered toward the dreaded table.

“Mom, please,” I begged. “I don’t want to talk to her.”

“Come on now, it’s not like you have a date to keep you occupied,” she said. “Angela has had a crush on you since that picnic years ago. You could do worse than the daughter of your father’s best friend.”

“And I keep telling you that I don’t like her.”

“I know, but maybe you can get to know her better this time around.”

“I’ve had years to get to know her better, Mother,” I muttered as we came to a stop at her table.

“Hey Daniel!” She beamed as she stood, her pink, frilly dress clinging to her body as her boobs stared me down. She had always dressed to impress, but she would never be able to impress me. Regardless, I knew she’d tried hard to get my attention with this selected dress.

“Hi Angela,” I greeted as I was wrapped into a hug, her large breasts pressing up against my chest like two squishy pillows. Her head came to a rest on my shoulder, and I heard her breathe in deeply.

“You smell good.”

“Thanks,” I said as I tentatively wrapped my arms around her returning the hug. I looked over her shoulder to see her father, Rick, smiling up at me. This was a match that both families wanted desperately, Angela included. I was seen as someone who would treat Angela well, and ever since that decision was made, we were both thrust upon each other at every function.

“How are you, son?” Rick stood to shake my hand.

“I’m good. How’s the company?”

“Fantastic,” he said, “I still miss your father’s brain though.”

“Oh,” I offered, looking around, examining potential exit strategies. “Where is the old man, anyway?”

“He’s in the kitchen, dear,” Mom answered, subtly blocking my escape as I took a small step away from the table.

“Does he need any help?” I asked looking over her shoulder towards the kitchen door.

“Oh, he’s not doing anything,” she answered smiling. “Probably just helping himself to the hors d'oeuvres.”

“Let’s go outside and talk, Daniel,” Angela said as she looped her arm with mine and guided me towards the door. I saw Emily out of the corner of my eye, and she smiled and winked in my direction as I stepped outside once again. Angela sat down on the wooden bench off to the side, and I slid down to sit with her.

“So, how has your year been so far?” I asked as I placed my hands on my knees and examined my shoes.

“It’s been pretty good,” she said. “The summer looks promising now too.”

“Oh, really,” I responded glancing up to find her looking me over and chewing on her bottom lip seductively. I was tempted to break her heart right then and there, but reminded myself that she did like to gossip. I couldn’t trust her with my best kept secret as I could Emily. Although, she’d known I was gay before I admitted it to myself. At this point, she was still the only one who knew.

“Yeah,” she said leaning forward her eyes closing. “Can I kiss you?”

“No,” I blurted, bolting up from the bench and stumbling over my feet, only catching myself by grabbing hold of the open door.

“Your mother said that you’re just really bashful,” she stood, still smiling seductively. “I think it’s hot.”

“I’m sorry?” I backpedaled as she walked towards me, backing me up against the wall. Again her chest was pushed against me, and I shut my eyes tightly as her lips met mine. Her tongue invaded my mouth, and I went rigid as she deepened the kiss, reaching up and rubbing my chest. When she pulled away, she smoothed out her lipstick and smiled as she walked back into the cabin leaving me stunned, but relieved on the porch outside. Wiping the lip gloss off my lips, I followed her inside, still feeling slightly flushed. The crowd was mostly female, as our family seemed to be dominated by the gender. It seemed that the men of the family were hiding from the festivities until the actual wedding was to start.

“Hey wait up, man,” someone called, causing me to stop and turn around.

“Yes?” I asked when he didn’t say anything. I noticed him blink a few times, then he smiled.

“Is this the Chris Fullerton – Sara Hastings wedding?” He asked, taking a step into the cabin. All the furniture had been put in storage to make room in the large open living room.

“It is,” I answered, “and you’re not late or anything.”

“That’s good to hear. The best man can’t be late for his pal’s big day,” he said, stretching out his arm offering his hand. “I’m Alex.”

“Daniel.”

“Where’s a spot to change into my tux?” He asked as he grabbed a garment bag and draped it over his shoulder holding on to the hanger. I pointed toward the third level of the three story cabin, and when he looked at the ceiling and then back to me, I smiled.

“I’ll show you the way,” I said, “but don’t blame me if I get lost myself. I’ve not been here much either.” I studied him for a second, before starting for the upstairs bedroom.

“Aren’t you Sara’s brother?”

“How do you know that?”

“Well, it’s just you two have the same light-blue eyes,” he shrugged, taking the lead as we climbed the steps. The comment struck me as odd coming from him, but it wasn’t the first time I had heard the connection made between Sara and me. It was our only striking similarity, our Father’s eyes. Although unlike ours, his didn’t seem as approachable even though he was the most easy-going member of the family.

We found a room that wasn’t cluttered full of furniture that had been moved to make room downstairs for guests. He turned to look at me through the open doorway leading into the bedroom.

“Do you need me to wait and take you back?”

“I think I can find my way,” he smiled. “Thanks, Daniel.”

“You know what, call me Dan,” I said, “and you’re welcome.”

“Dan it is then.”

He closed the door slowly, and I hesitated before turning to walk back down the dark hallway. Overall this was a nice place for a wedding, even if the rooms were cramped right now, whether with people or furniture. Later, the family will filter outside for the ceremony.

As I made my way downstairs, I could hear the roar of the family getting louder and louder. At the bottom of the staircase, I sighed and walked towards the brightly-lit doorway leading to the living room. I wanted to avoid the horde, but I couldn’t get to the kitchen until I crossed the living room. Upon entering the room, I scanned it searching for Emily or for my sister, who I still hadn’t seen yet. The wedding would be starting soon. The band had been setting up outside when I got here, but now they were inside, drinking punch and talking to the family. I saw that Angela had wriggled her way into the middle of the small group of men. Mom was also there. I quickly turned away and made my way into the kitchen, where I immediately saw my Dad and uncles sitting at a counter with trays of food waiting to be circulated among the guests. The caterers were still busy cooking, and the kitchen was hot and filled with a variety of foods that invaded my senses. Unfortunately, the strong smell of the garlic for the chicken and seasonings for the fish didn’t mix well.

“There you are, Daniel,” Dad said as he noticed me standing by the kitchen door.

“Hey,” I said as I walked up to counter and sat down beside him.

“Can’t stay in here too long without drinking a cold beer,” he said as he slid me a chilled glass that was probably meant for the guests outside the kitchen. But he opened a bottle of beer and filled the glass, regardless, and I started to sip it slowly. It took me a few years to get used to the taste of beer, but now I could at least drink it when expected.

“Mom threw Angela at me again,” I grumbled, and he laughed, shaking his head.

“Your mother, God help her,” he said. “If Angela was your type, the two of you would be married already.”

“Thanks. Now go tell her that,” I responded as Uncle Cliff sat down on my other side. He patted me on the shoulder, and I could tell he had more than his fair share of beer as he swayed slightly at his seat.

“How’s my favorite nephew?” He asked, his deep voice slurring slightly.

“Trying to survive,” I answered, and he leaned into me, trying to whisper something in my ear, but I couldn’t quite make out the words. When he patted me roughly on the back and stood, he was laughing at whatever clever advice I had missed.

“Your son won’t ever cause you this headache, brother,” he said, waving his hand to indicate the wedding, “but I think I need to go sober up before the little headache walks down the aisle.”

“That would be a good idea for you, Cliff,” Dad responded as he stood and held the backdoor open for Cliff to sneak away until he felt better.

“Cliff never liked these things,” I said as I finished off my beer. I handed the glass to a caterer who was walking by, and he took it back to be washed. I had gotten used to the mixed-food smell, but I feared that it would cling to my clothes, so I stood up in search of another place to hide.

“Where you off to now?” Dad asked as he stood with me.

“Going to go face the family again, I guess. And Mom probably wants you to do the same.”

“Yeah,” he replied, nodding, “I’ve been avoiding the mother-in-law long enough.”

“Grandma has always liked you,” I countered as we walked through the swinging doors exiting the kitchen.

“She kills with kindness, Dan,” he whispered as we parted ways. He headed towards his coworker, where Angela had returned. By the look on her face, she probably had been retrieved from that group of men. Angela didn’t look pleased to be seated back with her parents, but I wasn’t willing to rescue her. Instead I looked for Emily, the only person that didn’t shower me with questions or pinch my cheeks, even though they knew I didn’t appreciate either.

“Looking for me?” Emily asked as I had found her standing by the punch. She had a glass in her hand, and I leaned against the table.

“Of course,” I answered, smirking. “Your daddy is drunk.”

“Like that’s surprising,” she said, rolling her eyes. “If there’s a party, he’s going to live it up, the old fart.”

“True enough,” I said.

“Can I ask you a question that’s none of my business?” Emily asked as she scooted closer to me.

“Sure,” I answered, dreading the question already.

“When are you going to tell your parents about you?” She asked, leaning her head on my shoulder. I felt the silky texture of her bridesmaid dress slide across my fingers resting on the edge of the table.

“When I have a reason to,” I answered sighing. “When I find that guy that takes me to that level in my life.”

“Well, have you even been looking?” she asked.

I studied her face, as I heard her foot tapping against the hardwood floor, and really thought about the question. I had tried to be open to dating. I had even dated a few guys, but it never lasted and never got too serious.

“I think I have,” I shrugged. “People my age are still looking for right-now fun instead of the forever kind of guy.” She smiled as we both let out a sigh.

“That’s no excuse not to tell your folks,” she said. “We’re not a closed minded family. They’ll stomach your gayness.”

“Real comforting, cuz,” I joked, elbowing her gently. “Of course, they’ll stomach me, but I want them to accept me.”

“You know what I meant,” she said, as she lightly slapped my shoulder. “But I’m not going to push you. Although, I am though going to invite you to stay here with us this weekend.”

“Here?” I asked, looking around.

“Yeah. Sara said something about hanging out before they head off to their honeymoon.”

“Oh,” I responded. “I don’t know, I should be getting back this weekend. I have some work to do.”

“No you don’t,” she said. “You just don’t want to be smothered by family. The good news is, they’re not invited, just us.”

“So, just me, you, Sara, and Chris?” I asked, eyebrows raised, and she smiled that very familiar troublemaking smile that I didn’t trust at all.

“Just us,” she said as she looked away, and I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this with weekend idea she had planned.

“No wild parties. I’m too old for that,” I whispered as Mom and my aunts walked by. Emily had been acting like this were a secret, and I didn’t want to give anything away.

“Promise,” she offered. “Okay, I have to go retrieve the bride. It’s time to start this thing.” As she walked away, the loud screech of a microphone could be heard then the muffled thumping of an amateur sound check. As I looked around, I found my mom standing on a chair with the cord dangerously coiled around her left foot. Dad was trying to unravel it, but she kept kicking his foot away as she tried to get everyone’s attention.

“We’re about to start, so if you would head out to the seats out front,” Mom instructed. “Thank you all for attending this very special day.”

She handed the microphone to Dad who unwrapped it from around her leg just as she was stepping down, completely oblivious of the near death experience she could have had. I shook my head as I made my way to my position at the front row of the bride’s side. Rows of white chairs stretched out in two long columns, separated by the long sidewalk that would act as the aisle.

As I made my way through the crowd, Angela’s eyes caught mine, and she winked and smiled. All hope of her hooking up with a band member left as I hesitantly waved before turning away. I did notice that the exchange satisfied her mother, who had been giving me dirty looks for not devoting all my attention to her daughter. She was just as conniving as my mother, and the conspiring would never end until I came out of the closet, or married her.

Looking around, I noticed that the front lawn was decorated a lot more now compared to when I first arrived. White curtains squared up the front yard, giving the appeal of a white flowing room, surrounded by large blue vases filled with white roses. It looked peaceful. Mom did a great job envisioning this day for Sara.

The sound of violins filled the air as the band started playing a slow, melodic song that would keep the crowd occupied while waiting for the ceremony. It was a long, but peaceful wait. The family was still jabbering away, but instead of the boisterous roar, it was now a few subtle conversations adding to the overall din of my surroundings. When the band ended the song, a few people clapped and then silence fell, broken only by the ruffling of sheet music.

Finally, the front door of the cabin opened, the band started the march, and Emily stepped out, escorted by Alex. I turned in my seat as they walked down the three stairs, through the flowered arches over the porch, and down the aisle. They parted and walked around the outside of the seating area, and back to the side entrances of the porch. It was a long, ceremoniously slow walk. Then, the next pair made their slow march. When they were in place, the band kept playing until the end of the song.

Everything seemed backwards from a traditional wedding. Chris and Sara would still be front and center, standing on the porch under the flowered arch, and the pastor that would be marrying them was now in his place at the bottom of the stairs facing the cabin, holding his bible with its blue-ribbon bookmark. This way, everyone got to see the faces of the bride and groom.

A few moments passed before the cabin door opened again and the traditional wedding march started playing as Chris emerged from the cabin. He took a step to the side, then offered his hand to Sara who stepped out with her flowing, white gown gently billowing in the slight breeze. Her veil covered her face, but I could tell she was happy by the way she carried herself. Dad and Mom stepped out behind them, and the four of them walked down through the archway of roses. They stepped around the pastor, following the same route as the others. Dad took a shortcut to stand at the bottom of the stairs as Sara joined him. Mom sat beside me taking my hand in hers. She gave it a light squeeze, not looking at me. I glanced down at my hand in hers, her white, silk glove felt nice against my skin. Then the music stopped, the sound echoing in the distance.

“You may be seated,” the Pastor said. After everyone was sitting, he smiled. “Now who will be giving this lovely lady away this afternoon?”

“I will be, sir,” Dad said, his voice cracking slightly. Sara’s hand slid from his grip as she walked up the stairs to take Chris’ hand. She passed her bouquet of white roses to Emily, and then turned to face Chris with a huge smile on her face. Chris had a matching smile of his own, just for her.

When Dad took his seat beside me, Mom reached across me to hand him a tissue. I’d never seen him cry before. He typically was an energetic, fun-loving father who tended to keep his tears behind closed doors. Today, though, he’d handed his little girl over to her soon-to-be husband. Even though she had moved out of the house a while go, he was officially giving her care over to another man. Even I felt my eyes stinging slightly with unshed tears and my throat tightening with the thought. It had to be difficult for a father to give a daughter away. So I reached over and took his hand. He tightened his grip as the pastor began the ceremony.

As the pastor expounded on the virtues of marriage, I started looking around. My eyes fell on Alex standing behind Chris, and I noticed that he was looking at me as well. When he noticed that I had noticed, he looked down at his hands, and my eyes followed seeing that they were in front of him, his left hand resting on his right. He looked uncomfortable standing up there in the tux that matched in color with the bridesmaids’ navy blue, but didn’t seem to suit him. When he looked up again and found me still looking at him, he gave a tentative smile, which I returned before turning back in time to see Chris raising the Sara’s veil, revealing her bright, watery eyes.

Emily and Alex handed each a ring for the other, and the Pastor had them repeat the structured vows. Sara’s voice was shaky, but happy as she spoke. Every so often she would sniffle, and I knew she was crying. It made my once wild and fun loving sister seem older and more dignified. I had never really given her much credit for being an adult, but now as we listened to Chris’ deeper yet, just as shaky voice offer the same strong promises of love, trust, and happiness throughout their lifetime, I saw a grown and accomplished woman.

When they kissed for the first time as husband and wife, the family erupted in applause, and everyone stood to shower Chris and Sara in rice and bubbles. The Pastor shook both their hands, then shooed them into the cabin, leaving my parents to finish up the paper work. The family dispersed in an excited chatter. The band ignored their instruments, knowing that no one could hear them over the din.

“Boy, I’m glad that’s over. These shoes are killing me,” Emily huffed as she sat down in the empty seat beside me. She took her shoes off, and plopped her bouquet in my lap, causing me to jump slightly. She sprawled out in her chair, probably getting, for the first time all morning, a chance to relax.

“Emily, who is Alex?” I asked, pointing over to the best man. He looked lost, understandably since he wasn’t known to our big family. He was standing alone, scanning the crowd as if looking for somewhere to be.

“Oh, that’s Chris’ best friend from college,” Emily answered, then nudged my shoulder. “Isn’t he hot?”

“Emily, you’re a married woman,” I joked, and she playfully slapped me on the arm.

“Married or not, I still have eyes, and damn it I’m going to use them,” she countered, laughing. “Since he looks so lost, why don’t you go retrieve him?”

“You,” I rolled my eyes, setting her bouquet aside. “Where is Steve, anyway?”

“Please, I would have to kidnap Steve to get him to a wedding. He'll be joining our little party tonight, though. But you’re avoiding the opportunity here, and if I retrieve go him, then I’m inviting him on your behalf to our little outing,” she said, crossing her arms. “And that will make you look like a scared, little shit.”

“Fine,” I conceded, “but do I invite him?”

“Only if you want to,” she shrugged. “Chris and Sara won’t mind, I’m sure.”

“Right,” I said as I stood and wiped my sweaty hands on my tuxedo. A few stray pieces of rice were on my shoulders and in my hair, so I brushed them away as I made my way to Alex. When he noticed me approaching, he smiled.

“Hey again, Dan,” he said as he again offered his hand for me to shake. His hand seemed warmer to the touch than earlier and damp with sweat.

“Hey,” I greeted, and he let my hand go.

“You have an intimidating family,” he said nodding his head to the side, and I looked about, scanning the family for myself. Broken up into small groups deep in seemingly intense conversations, they did look intimidating, even to me.

“We don’t all bite,” I assured, and he laughed. “Emily wants me to invite you stay the weekend here at the cabin.”

“Really?” he asked. “Emily, the maid of honor, Emily?”

“Matron of honor, actually, but yeah, she’s also my cousin,” I answered, suddenly feeling awkward. “So… you going to accept the invitation?”

“Have I been formally asked?” He asked, smirking. I blinked as I realized that I had avoided it by bringing up Emily. I could see her clucking in my mind, and shook my head trying gain the confidence to ask now that, however teasingly, he was demanding a direct invitation.

“Do you want to spend the weekend here with us?” I asked, and he looked thoughtful for a few seconds.

“Sure, I have nowhere to be,” he said. “As long as no one makes me wear this dorky tux again.”

“Deal,” I said, and we turned with him following me. Emily stopped us under the flowered arches, though.

“Let me take a picture,” she said. “For the wedding album.” She had a thoughtful look on her face and motioned for us to slide closer together as she looked through the view finder of her expensive camera. Alex didn’t hesitate to slide closer to me and when our hands brushed, I started, but he didn’t seem to notice. Our boots slid together as well, and when we were both still and smiling, she took a few pictures then dropped the camera from her face. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Emily,” I responded, and she walked past us indicating that she was going to go change.

“I think I’ll go change, too,” Alex said as he disappeared through the door after her.

I walked out to my car, simply nodding to those family members that wanted me to stop and talk to them. I needed to drive home to get a few changes of clothes and unwind from another family function. I was finally looking forward to this weekend.

Part II

After changing and hanging my tux into its zipped garment bag in the back of my closet, I packed a few things for the weekend and was on my way back to the cabin. This would be the third time staying there – the other two times with the immediate family. This time, though, I had a strong feeling of anticipation. I couldn’t figure out why that with each mile closer to the cabin, I felt more and more nervous. My stomach in knots, my hands gripping tightly to the wheel, but slipping regardless because of my sweaty palms. I even had to slow down a few times after realizing I was speeding.

This weekend would give me a chance to know Chris better, and I’m sure Emily would initiate him into our family a few times throughout the weekend. In a way, I would be out of place with that group of people. Emily and Sara were close as Emily and myself, maybe even closer because they were both women. But my little sister had been a mystery to me ever since high school, no matter how much time we spent together. Now that she was an adult in my eyes for the first time, I wanted to get to know her better as well.

When I arrived, the front lawn looked as though a wedding had never taken place, other than some stray, white rose petals that had fallen off the slow-dying roses. The wind, though, was in the process of slowly blowing them away, and I watched as a few swirled in the air and disappeared into the trees surrounding the cabin. Sliding out of the car, I grabbed my bag out of the back seat and made my way to the front porch. The walk was shorter than the first time I was here today, as only a few cars remained. I recognized most of them, but it was the oddly bright, recently washed red truck that caught my attention.

The door of the truck opened, and Alex stepped out carrying a duffle bag. A tinge of nervous tension rushed over me, and I realized that I had been anticipating seeing him again. When he saw me, he waved with his free hand, and I waited for him to walk up the stairs before opening the front door. As we stepped inside, Emily, Sarah, and Chris were sitting on furniture that had been stored away on the third floor earlier this morning. Both Alex and I took the time to look around, amazed at the quick transition.

“How in the hell did you pull this off?” I asked, dropping my bag to the floor as I walked further into the living room.

“Large family,” Emily answered shrugging. “Even the band helped.”

“Doesn’t even look like a wedding took place here,” Alex commented as I heard a second thump hit the floor. I glanced down and saw that his bag was now mingling with mine.

“Hey, bro,” Chris said as he stood with Sara to greet Alex. “And bro-in-law.”

“Hey,” I greeted as Chris patted me once on the shoulder. They had changed into comfortable clothes as well, but Sara still had her hair fixed, even though it looked slightly tussled.

“Hi, Dan,” she whispered as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek.

“Hey, sis,” I responded, holding her gently by her elbows so she didn’t lose her balance. Her arms slid from my grasp as she backed away, smiling at me.

“What are we going to do first?” Emily asked as she stood. Her hair was down, and she was wearing what looked to be pajamas. She wasn’t wearing any shoes.

“You look ready for bed,” I answered as I sat down on the open couch. The cabin didn’t have a television since no one was ever here long enough to sit down and want to watch it. There was a stereo with speakers mounted on small wooden planks in the corner of the large square room. Music was playing, but soft and unobtrusive.

“I say we get out in the lake,” Chris suggested. “It’s hot outside enough for it.” Chris seemed adventurous and outgoing –something Sara would have looked for in a mate.

“Yeah, we have some of those float things,” Sara responded. “So we don’t have to be completely in the water. It’s probably still a bit cold.”

“What do you two think?” Emily asked, turning to look at Alex and me. When she asked us both the question, it felt weird, but when I turned to see how Alex was going to answer, I found him deferring to me.

“Sure,” I answered when Alex reamined quiet. Then he smiled, and I was relieved that I’d made the right choice. I also noticed that when he smiled, his dark brown eyes seemed to darken more. I found myself staring into them until he looked away. When I turned to see everyone looking at the two of us, I felt my face getting flushed. I turned to Emily, pleading with my eyes to save me, so she took hold of Sara’s hand.

“Let’s go get our bathing suits on,” Emily said. “You boys can blow up the floats after you change.”

“Right,” Chris said, following Sara and Emily up the stairs. I quickly grabbed my own bag and went upstairs to change. I didn’t wait for Alex, hoping he would know his way around from this morning. When I found an open room, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, trying to slow the rhythm of my heart. My face felt warm, and I saw in the mirror that I was blushing. My slightly suntanned face and dark hair masked most of the redness, but it was still noticeable. When I felt a little calmer, I sat my bag down on the top of the small dresser and unzipped it looking for my swimming trunks. I was glad I’d brought them just in case, because I didn’t think I’d need them. The cabin did have a hot tub, but I doubted that it was ready for use.

When I got back downstairs, Alex and Chris were talking as they arranged all the floating devices preparing to fill them with air. I suddenly felt out of place in the living room. When they noticed my presence, they both stopped talking, and I smiled and sat down across from them. Chris tossed me one of the floats and I started breathing into to filling it with air.

“So, how does it feel to be a married man?” Alex asked as I watched the two interact. Being the best man at his wedding, I knew they had to be close.

“Feeling pretty good, dude,” Chris answered as he opened his last package and unfolded the float.

“Do you know where you’re going to live?” he asked. “I mean, the apartment isn’t big enough for kids.”

“I know that,” Chris responded. “Sara wants to move closer to her parents.”

“You’d be crazy in a week,” I said as I plugged the nozzle on the float I’d just finished. Alex and Chris laughed, but I only shrugged knowing how bad Mom and Dad could get.

“How far away do you live from them?” Chris asked, still chuckling.

“I live close to the cabin actually,” I answered, “which is a good thirty minutes away from their house.”

“Well, maybe we can find a place near you,” Chris stated. “I mean, she just wants to be close to family, and you’re her brother.”

“As long as I don’t have to babysit the brats,” I said. “I really don’t have any patience for kids. Especially ones with Sara’s influence.”

“She said you were the bad kid,” Chris countered lightly, and I smiled shaking my head as I started blowing up another float.

“They won’t be come down until we’re done, will they?” Alex asked as he started on his second one.

“Nope,” Chris said laughing. “Sara doesn’t roll out of bed until she hears me placing the food on the table for breakfast, and I know in that little apartment she couldn’t sleep through it.”

“Yeah, Emily is probably up there filling her full of gossip,” I added.

As predicted, the girls didn’t come downstairs until after the last float was filled and ready to use. They were laughing as they joined us, but I didn’t mind knowing that they had planned this, allowing me to get to know Alex and Chris a little better. I was starting to feel more comfortable around them. Being a few years older then the other guys, I felt like I stood out more, but Emily grabbed my hand as soon as we all grabbed our floats and headed towards the door.

“We all set?” Emily asked looking around; she had always been the leader growing up.

“Yes,” I answered, and everyone filed outside. The cabin sat on an elevated piece of ground where the large lake cut through the land. It was steep trail to the beach through the woods. The late afternoon sun was bright, and the early summer day was hot. The birds were singing, and bugs gearing up for mating were buzzing loudly.

When we arrived at the beach, I set my bright-blue float down to remove my shoes. It was manmade lake, made for a tourist attraction as well for the fishing. It had been a flood plain before they opened the dam around the same year I was born. Through the years, they kept added more water to the lake, expanding it to its current size to be the largest lake in the state. During this time, the land surrounding the lake had been developed into resorts and camping grounds. Our land that had been in the family for years was the only section that wasn’t resort property. Luckily, the wilderness of the resorts was still thriving and added to the overall appeal of the place.

The grainy sand and pebbles on the beach were warm to the bottom of my feet as I grabbed my float and started walking down to the water’s edge. The resort had designated swimming sectioned off by ropes, but not on this stretch of beach that belonged to my family. We had no physical barriers separating us from the boats on the main part of the lake, but currently the water was still.

“What are you waiting for?” Emily asked as she came to stand beside me carrying her float.

“I’m afraid the water will be cold,” I said as I looked down at my feet. They were only inches from the water. The sand beneath my feet was significantly cooler now.

“Only one way to find out,” she said as she took a step into the water. The water barely covered the top of her foot. I watched closely as she moved further into the water, and when she didn’t tense up, I took a small step. The water was warm at first, but with my second step, it came just below my kneecap and started to feel cooler.

Chris came running down the beach right, passing right beside me, and I tensed up, knowing that I was about to be soaked. He threw his float further ahead of him as he bounded past me, the water flying up and hitting my body. The sensation caused me to shudder as I watched Chris slide onto his float and start paddling with his hands to deeper water.

Emily had hopped on her float, lying on her back with her sunglasses over her eyes, slowly moving her hands in the water, drifting away from the beach. Neither of them was complaining, so I put my float in the water and awkwardly slid myself on it. When I was settled, I looked back at the beach to see Sara applying suntan oil with Alex rubbing it on her back. His eyes were scanning the lake not paying much attention to Sara babbling away.

After he did a satisfactory job applying lotion to Sara, Alex grabbed his float and, just like Chris, didn’t hesitate to test the temperature of the water. He ran and dived into the water, only retrieving his float after surfacing. I shook my head, then grabbed my sunglasses from my pocket and slipped them on. I was now out in the deeper water and I could knew it would be even colder. It’d take another month before the tourists flocked to the camping grounds and resort for swimming in the lake.

“Hey,” Alex called, causing me to open my eyes and search for him.

“Hi,” I responded as he floated up beside me. When he saw that his momentum was going to carry him past me, he reached out and grabbed my elbow. We were now face to face, and the touch of his cold hand sent chills through my body and goose bumps began forming on my skin.

“Sorry,” he said as he maneuvered himself back around beside me. His hand was no longer cold to the touch as the senses stabilized, but when he removed his hand my skin tingled, and I glanced up to see small finger marks reddening my skin. His grip was strong, but it didn’t hurt my arm.

“It’s alright,” I said as I took the time to trace my eyes down his body, now that they were concealed behind dark sunglasses.

“I decided to bother you instead of Chris, is that ok?” he asked.

“Of course,” I answered. “Why not Chris though?”

“Well, he said he’d be getting Sara in the water soon.” We scanned the lake for Chris and saw him slowly making his way towards Sara, lying on her back on her float, reading with her sunglasses on. Sara had never really liked the water, but loved going to the beach to relax in the warmth of the sun.

“Looks like his plan is about to be set in motion,” I observed, and Alex laughed slightly as he turned his attention back to me.

“I think they’ll make it though,” he responded. “She already knows Chris has an evil streak in him.”

“Yeah, and Sara isn’t a slouch either,” I added, and Alex nodded.

“I’ve had my underwear yanked over my head way more by her than Chris,” he said laughing, lying back on his float. I liked his how stomach tightened, further defining his abs as he laughed. He had a nice laugh. I couldn’t keep myself from joining in.

“How about you, though?” I asked, turning my head to look towards the sky instead of him. He was doing the same, we knew each other was there, so constant eye contact wasn’t needed.

“I can be a bit mischievous,” he answered as I smiled. “You?”

“My evil days are far behind me,” I answered sighing. “I wasn’t very good at it either.”

“You’re not old. It’s not like your ready to retire yet,” he countered. “You’re only, what, two years older than Sara?”

“About,” I answered. “So, she’s talked about me?”

“More than you’d like to know,” Alex responded, and when I looked over at him, he winked then laughed. We had started drifting apart with the current, and without thinking, I reached out with my hand and grabbed his. I pulled our floats back together, but when I went to release his hand, he kept hold of it.

“Sorry,” I said. “We were drifting apart.”

“And I’m making sure we don’t drift apart again,” he whispered. I liked the warmth of his hand on mine.

A few moments later, we heard Sara scream, fussing at Chris, and we both turned to watch as he carried her kicking and screaming into the water, only dropping her when he was waist deep. She went completely under the water, soon followed by Chris, like he’d been pulled from beneath. Sara emerged holding his swimming trunks up in the air. When he surfaced, he tried to snatch them from her grip, but she sent them soaring into the air, landing on the beach, well away from the water’s edge.

“Who won that battle?” I asked laughing as the two were now wrestling in the water.

“Sara one, Chris nothing,” Alex commented. After the laughter died down, we both sighed.

“What did you major in?” I asked, no longer feeling weird about holding his hand.

“I majored in Biology and animal sciences,” he answered, sounding studious and proud of his accomplishments. “I want to work in a zoo.”

“That’s pretty interesting,” I added smiling. “I majored in boring Accounting.”

“That’s nasty,” he countered making a face. “So you’re good in math then?”

“Pretty good,” I answered, and he shrugged. Now, not only was I older than him, but also boring. When I let out a sigh, he looked over at me, smiling.

“Well, as nice as this lying in the sun thing is, I think I’ve had enough of it,” he said as he let go of my hand, “And I know of a nice, half-eaten wedding cake stored in the fridge.”

“I haven’t has any it yet,” I commented, and he looked at me.

“Then come with me,” he responded nudging me in the shoulder. “You’re missing some damn good sweets.”

“Alright,” I said, smiling as we both carefully turned to lie on our stomachs started paddling back towards shore.

“Where are you two running off to?” Emily yelled. She was the deepest out and had been on her cell phone the entire time.

“Getting some cake,” I answered, waving over my shoulder at her. She started paddling in as well, so when we got to the shore, we waited for her.

“Chris,” Alex yelled as he picked up the sandy trunks that still had yet to be retrieved.

“Yeah, man?” Chris asked as he stopped fighting with Sara long enough to look in our direction.

“Want us to take these with us?” Alex asked waving them in the air slightly, a wide smile lighting up his face.

“Yes, please,” Sara answered as she dunked Chris under the water.

“No!” Chris yelled when he came up for air. “Throw them to me!”

“Which one should I listen to?” Alex asked, turning to Emily and me.

“Chris,” I said.

“No, Sara,” Emily countered, and Alex shrugged.

“You lost, Chris,” Alex called as he turned to start back up the trial. “You know I can’t turn down the wishes of a pretty lady.”

Chris frowned as Emily and Sara laughed. I grabbed my flip-flops and followed Alex up the trail, wondering how far he’d carry the joke. When we reached the cabin, Alex left the wet, sandy shorts to dry on the porch railing next to our floats. At that point, I knew that Alex loved to joke around with people, and I was sure Chris would be getting him back before long.

“He’s not going to like you when he gets out of the water,” Emily said as we made our way into the kitchen.

“He would’ve done the same to me,” Alex countered, laughing, “I know Chris too well.”

“Mean children,” Emily scoffed shaking her head. “You don’t deserve cake.”

“Yeah?” Alex asked as he opened the fridge door. I didn’t see what he was up to, but when a handful of wedding cake smacked Emily squarely in the chest, I laughed.

“Well, you little, sneaky bastard!” Emily screeched as she fought to get past him to retaliate. She had been able to grab a handful of cake and proceeded to smear it over the top of his head, which made me laugh even harder.

As the two went at it, I backed up to give them some room. I had to close my eyes as I fought to breathe through my laughter and the strain in my stomach. When I felt cold cake smeared on my chest, I instantly stopped and looked down to inspect the damage. I looked up to see Emily and Alex both looking guilty.

“Well, it looks like you two have made quite a mess,” I said, crossing my arms and trying to sound mad. They both glanced at each other as I stepped between them, careful not to slip on the slick cake mess on the linoleum floor. “I’ll just have my cake now, if it’s ok with you two animals.”

“Sorry, Dan,” Alex started toward me.

I looked out of the corner of my eye as his clean hand patted me on the shoulder. I secretly smiled, grabbed two handfuls of cake, and I shoved one in Alex’s face, causing him to jerk back and slip, crashing to the floor, laughing. I sidestepped him to see Emily running from the kitchen and took off after her. When I caught her in the living room and tackled her to the floor, smearing the cake in her hair, causing her to scream, the front door opened and Chris and Sara stopped on the threshold to take in the scene.

“We’re away for five minutes, and the kids make a mess, honey” Sara said, shaking her head. “And my older brother, in the middle of it.”

“Sorry,” I said as I stood and helped Emily to her feet. Sara disappeared for a second then returned with a camera. Alex walked into the living room, and we posed for Sara to take our picture.

“Clean the mess up, while Chris and I cook,” Sara ordered as they walked past us into the kitchen. “And there had better be some cake left.”

When the kitchen was cleaned up, we took quick showers to wash the cake off our bodies. By the time I came back downstairs, Chris and Sara had prepared dinner, and Alex had joined them at the dining room table, waiting for the rest of us to arrive before they started eating. Not long after, Emily appeared. We were having spaghetti and salad, and all took turns filling our plate with food.

“Want champagne or punch?” Chris asked, turning to Sara.

“Champagne,” she answered, and I stood to help him carry the glasses as he grabbed the bottles.

“What are we going to do later tonight?” Emily asked as we all started eating. “This place doesn’t have a television in it.”

“We can get the hot tub working,” Chris suggested. “All it needs is water and time to heat up.”

“It will take half the night to heat up, though.” Emily countered. “But you can do it anyway, so we can enjoy it tomorrow. Sara, you and Dan have been here more than me. What did you two do to escape the adults?”

“Played board games and swam,” Sara answered shrugging. “The board games should be around here somewhere.”

“Do you guys have twister?” Emily asked, getting an evil look about her that I didn’t like at all.

“What are you scheming now?” I asked before taking my last bite of spaghetti.

“Well, Steve will be here shortly, so I thought, why not throw a toga twister party!”

“Are you drunk?” I asked.

“You’re a good planner, Emily,” Sara said. “I like that idea a lot.”

“I’m with Daniel. You two are nuts,” Chris countered, shaking his head at the idea. “The hot tub won’t take all that long to warm up anyway.”

“The toga party,” Sara pushed, leaning into Chris kissing him on the cheek, “or no private party for you tonight.”

“Too much information,” Alex cringed, putting his hands over his ears, causing everyone to laugh.

“Where are we going to find enough sheets?” I asked, still trying to veto the idea. I had nothing holding me back from not participating, unlike Chris. I had nothing to lose, but I could always watch.

“Already taken care of,” Emily said. “Steve will be bringing all we’ll need.”

“So, you had the toga thing in mind all along then,” I said, shaking my head. “Well, count me out.”

“No way,” Emily argued, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms. “Or else.”

“Or else what?” I asked, feeling slightly scared of what Emily would do.

“Or else we’ll force you to clean up the incredibly large mess we’re bound to make playing drunk twister if you’re not here to supervise,” Emily explained. “Toga twister is not a spectator sport.”

“Fine,” I said caving in. “I get dibs on first sheet though.”

“Go right ahead. They’re all the same material, just different colors,” Emily said, then we all got quiet at the table.

“Well, since Chris and I cooked, someone else should do the dishes,” Sara said, pointedly looking at me and no one else.

“Fine, I’ll do them. You all go get the living room set up for Twister,” I said as I stood and started stacking the dirty plates.

“I’ll help you out,” Alex stated, and I shrugged, torn between having help and making a guest work.

As we were washing the dishes, Emily’s husband Steve arrived, and from the kitchen we could hear the ruffling of plastic as they unpacked the supplies we’d need for the night. When I glanced over at Alex, I saw that he had a smile on his face as he rinsed the soapy dishes that I handed to him. I also noticed that more than once our hands would slide together.

“This is going to be embarrassing,” I whispered as I placed the last few plates into the soapy water to be washed.

“You bet,” he answered, nudging me with his elbow, causing me to drop a plate back into the water with a splash, soaking the front of my shirt. As I backed away to inspect the damage, I heard Alex laughing, and when I looked up at him, he pointed to my head. I reached up and felt the cold, soft feeling of bubbles, and when I shook my head, they slid down my face. I was surprised when Alex reached up and wiped the soapy suds from my face with his hand.

“Is it all gone?” I asked, and he nodded smiling and trying not to laugh as we turned back to the dishes.

We placed the dishes back in the cupboards, and joined the rest of them in the living room. Candles were lit around the room, the furniture moved back to the walls to give us enough room. Steve had bought some snack food and a cooler of beer put on ice for the night. Sara was searching through her CDs, preparing to play some music.

“You two finally finished?” Emily asked.

“Yeah,” Alex responded as we walked over to inspect the sheets and ribbons that Steve had bought.

“You two get first choice since you did the dishes,” Emily explained. “What color ribbons do you want? All the sheets are white.” She pointed to an assortment of ribbons, and I started to get nervous about the idea of only wearing a sheet.

“I don’t think I can do this without worrying if it’s going to stay up,” I said as I tentatively picked up a red ribbon with a sheet wrapped in plastic.

“We’re not going to be naked,” Sara said as music started playing in the room. She walked over and grabbed the ribbon from my hands.

“Good,” Alex said as he chose a neon orange ribbon and a sheet. He’d looked unsure about the idea as well. “It would be tricky keeping the goods covered playing Twister.”

“Exactly,” Emily said. “Now strip to your skivvies, boys, so I can help you tie the sheet.”

“What?” I asked not moving to take off my clothes. “You’re my cousin!”

“Well, you said you didn’t know how to make a toga,” Emily said. “Daniel, don’t be bashful now. I’ve seen you naked more times than I have Steve.”

“Watch it,” Steve said as he walked by grabbing a blue ribbon and a sheet. “Emily, they can help each other. Come help me.”

“Ok,” Emily said as she grabbed her own supplies and followed him up the stairs to the bedrooms to get dressed. I saw Sara looking at Alex and me, and I turned to look up at the stairs.

“Want to go help me get this thing on?” I asked, turning to face Alex, and he smiled awkwardly and shrugged. I took that as a yes,, and started in the direction of the stairs. When he started to follow me, my heart began to pound in my chest. I had already seen him in his swimming shorts, but now we would be in a bedroom, touching each other, practically naked as we fix our togas.

After we entered the bedroom I had chosen to stay in, I gently closed the door and stood at it as he looked around the room with his ribbon roll and sheet in his hand. As I took a step further into the room his attention moved back to me, and I noticed a nervous half-smile creep across his lips before he sighed and tossed the sheet and ribbons to the bed and smoothed out his shirt, still looking at me.

“How are we going about this?” he asked, and I shrugged, walked up to the end of the bed where he was standing, and placed my ribbons and sheet on the bed as well.

“I guess I’ll go first,” I answered finally. “We better hurry, so we can get down there and get this game over with.”

“Yeah,” he said.

I looked down at the shoes still on my feet and used the toe of my right one to slide my heel out of my left shoe and then did the same to the other one. Next, I sat down on the bed to remove my socks. I fumbled nervously with the belt buckle of my cargo shorts, and when those were lying on the floor with my socks and shoes, I stood again. Out of the corner of my eye, I’d seen Alex watching as I removed my clothes, but I didn’t want him to know that I’d caught him, so I’d kept my head forward as I unbuttoned my shorts and pushed them down. I was wearing a pair of tight boxer briefs that clung to my thigh muscles. I hesitated briefly before tugging my polo shirt over my head, then my tank-top undershirt.

When I was standing just in my boxer briefs in front of him, I picked up the sheet, quickly ripping it from the plastic. Alex picked up the green ribbon that I’d selected as I unfolded the sheet, removing the internal cardboard packaging. The white sheet smelled new and was soft to the touch. I let the material slide through my fingertips as I tried to figure out how exactly a toga was supposed to wrap around my body.

“I’m lost,” I whispered as I held the fabric against my chest.

“I was thinking Caesar,” Alex said. “You know, just wrap it around your upper body and have a little skirt looking thing for the bottom part.”

“Won’t that reveal too much?” I asked, but then Alex took hold of the sheet.

“You won’t be naked under it, and it’ll give you freer movement for Twister,” he explained as he placed a part of the sheet on my stomach. “Hold this part.”

“Alright,” I said as I placed my hands on his. He slipped his from under mine to start wrapping the sheet around my stomach. When that was tight, he used a piece of ribbon to tie it in place before taking the remaining part of the sheet up and twisted it around each shoulder once.

“You’ll have to cut it, won’t you?” I asked as Alex paused when he realized that he still had a few feet of material leftover.

“Yes,” he said as he walked over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of metal scissors. After cutting the sheet, he used some ribbon to tie the sheet to my arms. He stepped back, and we both looked down at my neglected bottom half, then I looked up to see him smiling at me.

“I think I can take it from here,” I said as I reached for the rest of sheet. Alex dodged my hands, though, and kneeled in front of me, his head only half-a-foot from my groin. He reached around me, wrapping the sheet around my waist. The sheet now reached to the top of my knees. He grabbed more ribbon, tying it around my waist making it look like a belt as best as possible.

“There,” he said as he stood looking me over. “You’re all set. Now make mine like that.”

“Ok,” I said, trying to keep my voice confident, even though I didn’t know if I could do this as steadily as Alex just had with me. His behavior now was making me rethink that he might be gay. All the touching in the lake and then again while washing dishes gave me unexpected hope that Alex was interested, now, though, I wasn’t sure.

Alex didn’t hesitate in removing his clothes, and I watched as he revealed his bright, yellow cargo briefs that seemed to glow in the dimly-lit bedroom. They revealed a whole lot more of him than my boxer briefs did me, but I went through the same steps fitted him with the toga, and we both looked identical when we headed back downstairs.

The men had followed the same general style, and the girls were both wearing the sheet like dresses, with their pink and lavender ribbons tracing down their bodies. Sara and Emily both wore clean bathing suits underneath their togas, and Chris was wearing green boxers under his that peaked out the bottom.

“Well, don’t we look interesting,” Sara joked as Steve poured the snack chips into a large bowl.

“Draw straws for first spinner?” I suggested as I picked up the spinner.

“Sounds good,” Steve said as he left the living room to grab straws from the kitchen. When he reappeared, he’d cut up a few straws and hid their lengths from view. “The longest one is the first spinner.”

“This is going to be fun,” Emily squealed as she grabbed her straw. It was pretty short. I went next and frowned after seeing that mine was even shorter. Then Sara chose the straw that ended up being the longest as Steve revealed the other two straws in his hand.

“Damn,” I said. “I wanted to spin.”

“You’ll get your chance,” Sara said smiling, “if you win.”

“Come on,” I groaned. “You know I’m stiff as a board.”

“Yeah,” Sara said. “I do remember you sucking at this game.”

“Right,” I said as I took my spot. Two over lapping mats lay side by side, allowing enough room for all of us to play. Sara started the softly playing music, a rock radio station that played the current rock hits, but not loud enough to interfere with talking.

“Ready?” Sara asked as she sat down in the floor with a bottle of beer sitting beside her. She opened it with a metal bottle cap opener and took a drink before flicking the spinner with her finger, sending the black arrow in motion. “Left foot red.”

The game was faced paced until we were all on all fours. So far, it’d been easy; no one had been twisted or stretched too badly. But when we each had to move our left foot to blue, I saw that I’d have to turn my butt around so that it’d be right in front of Steve’s face. I was the last one to make my move, and when I did I felt my face flush as Steve started laughing.

“Nice black panties you got there, cousin-in-law,” Steve joked, blowing air up the sheet making it flip up to reveal my boxer briefs to everyone.

“Not funny,” I grumbled. “Please spin, Sara.”

“Right,” she said, “or shall I make Steve suffer?”

“I’ll fall on purpose,” I said turning my head to stick my tongue out at her. She just shrugged and spun again.

“Oh, this will get a few people out,” she said. “Right hand yellow.” It was an easy move for me. Then I watched as Emily tried to climb over Steve with her left hand to get to the yellow on the other side of him, but she tickled him as she did it, and he fell leaving the area open for her.

“Cheater!” Steve screeched as he slid out from under her. “She tickled me!”

“I didn’t see anything,” Sara said, winking at Emily.

“How could you miss that?” I asked. “Emily is known for her cheating anyways.”

“Shut it,” Emily said. “You’re going down next.”

“Quiet,” Sara said. “Steve, I rule that you’re out so come sit down with me.”

“Fine,” Steve said. “Emily, next round you’re going down.”

“Do and you’ll be sharing a bed with Daniel,” Emily countered.

I was about to object, but Alex started laughing. He had been quiet until then, concentrating on the game. The move that I made took me closer to him, parallel to him. He had his legs crossed and his arms spread out with his head lower than mine. He looked like he was doing a weird push up, and his muscles were starting to strain and twitch as he supported his weight.

“Daniel probably cuddles better anyway,” Steve said, and I watched as Alex let out a laugh and fell to the mat. I didn’t like being the butt of the jokes.

“As long as you don’t snore,” I said. “Sara, spin.”

“Alright,” she said, and I heard the arrow sliding across the cardboard. When it stopped she called out the move. I had to flip over facing the ceiling to make it, but then Chris put his head above mine suddenly face to face with me.

“Oh, shit,” he said. “Can I pick a different circle?”

“Not if you want to win!” Sara said as I looked up at him.

“Kiss!” Emily shrieked as she looked up at us from her awkward bending position. Steve started chanting the word kiss, and Chris shoot him a look, which only made Alex start chanting.

“He’s a married man!” I said causing everyone to start laughing.

“Yeah, he’s so not kissing another man in front of me,” Sara said, but Steve took the board from her hands before she could spin, and Alex and Emily started chanting again.

“Knock it off,” I said. “I don’t want to look up his nose anymore.”

“Yeah, and even though I think Daniel is a good looking man, I don’t want to be this intimate with him.”

“Now that’s an interesting word,” Emily said as she adjusted her stance slightly.

“Kiss, and the game continues,” Steve said, dodging Sara’s latest attempt to get the board back.

“I’ll just fall,” I suggested, but then I saw Chris’ eyes close and start moving towards my face. When our lips touched he immediately backed back away, and I could feel my face getting hot yet again.

“Satisfied?” I asked, and I heard the spinner spinning again.

“That was hot,” Emily stated, and I glared at her.

“Shut up,” Chris snapped, shaking his head.

Sara called out the next move, which I couldn’t quite reach, so I fell, annoyed that I wouldn’t be spinner for the next game. I slid off the mat and went over to the cooler to grab a beer.

“Grab me one, too,” Alex said, and I grabbed a second one, then I sat beside him on the ground. We took turns using the bottle opener to flip the metal caps off the top of them.

The game continued on. Chris finally won when Emily fell, making him the new spinner.
“Now, no cheating,” Steve said as he got in his space beside Emily. Sara was across from me, taking Chris’ spot. Chris wasted no time in getting the second game started with the calling out of left foot red.

After Emily won the second game, no one seemed interested in playing again. The snack food and beer had been finished, and it was getting pretty late.

“Well, I believe I’m going to turn in for the night,” I said. “You guys have fun.”

“I believe we’re all ready for bed, really,” Emily stated, stretching.

I took my empty beer bottles to the trashcan in the kitchen before I walked back through the living room, saying one last goodnight before heading up the stairs. The toga party had been fun. Even with my doubts earlier about being embarrassed, I felt that I’d reconnected with my little sister and gotten to know Chris a lot better.

When I got to my room, I closed the door behind me and used scissors to cut the ribbon, then unwrapped myself from the sheet. Stretching, I pulled back the covers on the bed and slid in. I turned off the lamp, putting the room into darkness. I let out a long sigh, closed by eyes, and tried to go to sleep.

I was about to fall asleep when I heard my door open and close quietly. I opened my eyes and looked over by the door to see Alex standing there wearing a pair of shorts. When I sat up in the bed, he took a few steps toward the bed, then stopped.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “I wondered if you wanted to talk for a little bit.”

“Oh,” I said as I reached up and rubbed the heavy feeling from my eyes. “Want to go down to the living room?”

“No, you look comfortable,” he said as he looked around the room for a chair or something to sit on. The only thing in the room that he could sit on, besides the bed, was the dresser or the floor, so when he sighed, I scooted over and peeled back the cover.

“Here,” I said. “We can’t talk with you sitting that far away.”

“You don’t mind?” He asked as he walked around the bottom of the bed to the free side.

“No,” I answered as I adjusted my pillows so that I could lie on my side and still be able to see and talk to him. I stifled a yawn, hoping he didn’t see it as he got himself comfortable as well.

“You know,” he said after he was still, “I’m glad you’re here. If I was stuck with two couples, I’d be bored out of my mind.”

“I thought you liked being the third wheel to my little sister and her new husband.”

“No,” he countered laughing slightly. “I was drafted into being the best man out of all the people we hung out with at college.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well if it means anything, I’m glad you’re here, too. I would’ve never gotten that toga on right.”

“Oh, is that all I’m good for?” He asked laughing. I shook my head, smiling.

When our eyes met again, I saw something different. I could barely see his eyes in the dark room, but I could tell that he wasn’t smiling, and when his face tentatively moved slightly forward, then stopped, my heart skipped. I felt his hand glide over my shoulder under the warmth of the covers, then he closed the distance and our lips touched. His hand slid down to rest on my chest, and I sucked in a breath with my nose as he deepened the kiss by relaxing more of his weight on top of me, his chest leaning against my shoulder. His hand traced down my side to my lower back as I kissed him back. He let out a soft moan, then slowly broke the kiss. I felt his hand slide back around me and away from my body, leaving a trail of tingling skin and goose bumps in its wake. It had been a while since I kissed a guy, but this kiss was strong and passionate, unlike anything I had really felt before. When I opened my eyes, I saw him smiling at me.

“Wow,” I whispered, smiling myself.

“I had to do that before I could sleep,” he said as he started to move out of my bed. I grabbed hold of his shoulder, stopping him.

“Stay,” I said. He relaxed back down in the bed, and I pulled the covers up over our bodies. He moved closer to me, and we kissed again before relaxing and falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up later than I had anticipated and to an empty bed. For a second, I was nervous about last night, but then I saw a note on the nightstand beside the lamp. It had his number and a place and time to meet for our first date. It was a few days away, but I already couldn’t wait for the day to come. I felt more alive than I had in years.

Part III

“Good morning, Mr. Hastings,” my secretary said as I walked past her desk.

“Good morning, Michelle,” I responded, fumbling with my keys. I gave her a quick smile as I tried unsuccessfully to unlock my office door. I had a lot on my mind today and didn’t really want to be here crunching numbers.

“Anything wrong?” She asked as she stood and grabbed the cup of coffee she had prepared for me, knowing that I needed it to get my day started.

“I’m just really jumble-headed right now,” I answered honestly. Michelle and I had worked together for a few years now. She had become one of the friends that I hung out with more often.

“Is this about Alex?” She asked as she exchanged my keys for my coffee and unlocked my office door, letting the door glide open with a gentle push of her hand. “There ya go.”

“Thanks, and yeah, it’s about Alex,” I said, shrugging. Three weeks ago, she’d noticed right away that I’d met someone at Sara’s wedding. I’d been so preoccupied with our kiss from the night before that she’d said I had a warm glow about me.

“He’s got that job interview today, doesn’t he?” She asked, following me into the office to sit down in the front of my desk as I sat behind it and booted up my computer.

“Yes, at the zoo,” I answered. “If he doesn’t get the job, that means he’ll have to look outside of the city, and I’m not looking forward to a long-distance relationship.”

“You could always pack up and move with him,” she said, and I shot her a look, causing her to laugh. “I know, too soon to move in with him.”

“Exactly,” I said. “But the thought still crossed my mind.”

“Then you’re ready to move in with him. When are you going to bring him to the office picnic?”

“Next year,” I answered. “After we tell the rest of the family about us.”

“This is too cute,” she said. “You two are way cuter than me and Joe.” She’d recently become engaged to her boyfriend of three years.

“Thanks, I guess. Do I have any appointments yet?”

“The phones have been dead all morning, lucky you, but you do have a stack of faxes to look over.”

“Yeah, and all the people I put off yesterday,” I said letting out a frustrated sigh. “Michelle, this is the only zoo hiring right now for an advanced research position. If he doesn’t get this job…”

“Hey, he’ll get it,” she said interrupting me. “I’ll forward his call as soon as I get it. His interview is at eight, right?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “in two hours.”

“You’ll be a thrilled man in about three hours, I just know it,” she added as she stood and walked out of my office, closing the door behind her.

After drinking my coffee and checking my e-mails I stood and thumbed through the faxes piled on my desk, waiting for me. This was a busy job, and I’d put off a lot of work yesterday, so I’d known that today wasn’t going to be a easy day. On top of that, I just couldn’t concentrate on numbers, not when I felt like my whole life was hanging on the outcome of Alex’s interview.

While I aimlessly moved piles from one side of my desk to the other, the phone in Michelle’s office rang, indicated on my phone as a flashing light. I was tempted to answer it myself, but then I heard her pick up and greet the caller. She scheduled an appointment for tomorrow, lying to them about my being booked solid today... booked solid worrying about Alex.

The past three months were interesting as I’d gotten to know Alex better. We were still both in the closet with our families, but Chris knew about Alex and Emily about me. Since Alex didn’t have a job, I’d seen him a lot. He would meet me during my lunch hour to talk, and we spent a lot of time together during the weekends.

By lunchtime, Alex hadn’t called, and I was a wreck. I kept looking out my office door, waiting for Michelle to return to her desk. When she came back to get me for lunch, I hesitated before leaving with her.

“He didn’t get the job,” I blurted out.

“And I bet everything works out,” Michelle countered.

Michelle drove us to a nearby restaurant to grab lunch. She had a brand new car, red with black leather seats, and I’d wanted to take it for a spin. When we arrived at the restaurant, I stepped out and saw Alex leaning against his truck. I shot Michelle a look, and she just smiled and headed toward the entrance, trying to act innocent, but I knew something had been discussed without my knowing.

“You two will be punished,” I whispered as I stepped up to Alex.

“What?” he asked, smiling as he guided toward the entrance.

When Alex and I caught up to Michelle, the waitress was just seating her. She handed us the menus and silverware then she left us to decide on what we wanted.

“So I finally get to meet Alex,” Michelle said as she reached across the table, offering her hand for him to shake.

“Yes,” Alex said as he shook her hand. “Now I know who makes Dan grumpy.”

“Oh, please,” she countered shaking her head. “I’m the one that will need therapy before I retire.” They both laughed, and I rolled my eyes as I opened the menu to check out the specials.

“So... did you get the job?” I asked after we’d ordered.

“No,” Alex said letting out a sigh, “but I got something better.”

“How would anything be better?” I asked, frowning as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“I got a better position,” Alex answered as he slid a card out of the small pocket of his leather wallet. “You’re now looking at the youngest head of Mammal research ever to be hired at the Lakeland Zoo and Safari Park.”

“Goodness,” Michelle said as she gently snatched the card from Alex’s hand to look at it before I’d gotten a good look myself.

“That’s great!” I practically shouted, feeling so relieved after having worried all morning. I glanced around and saw that a few people were looking in our direction, but I didn’t care that I had disturbed their lunches.

“I know, right?” Alex said. “They looked at my level of education and thought I was qualified for this more advanced position. They just lost their last guy to a larger zoo, so I got it.”

“We’ll have to celebrate tonight,” I said to Alex, before turning to Michelle. “Alone. No inviting yourself along, Michelle.”

“Fine,” Michelle said as she handed me the card. “Didn’t want to hang out with you two anyway.”

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she brought two trays on a cart. One had our drink orders and the other had three plates of food. As we ate in silence, I noticed Michelle taking small glances towards me, and I knew that she had noticed something that I would hear about once we got back to the office.

After we were done eating, Alex and I followed Michelle out of the restaurant. She didn’t wait for me or even say goodbye as she got into her car and left the parking lot. Alex and I both watched her as she pulled out into the main street and started back towards the office.

“Looks like you’re stranded,” Alex winked, walking around the front of the truck to get into the driver’s side. When I tried to open my door, I found that it was locked, and I flipped him off when Alex backed the truck up a few feet, caused him to laugh. He rolled down his window, waving his arm. “Get your ass in here.” I walked to the passenger side and tried the handle again, this time the door opened and I slid in. He turned to look at me, and I couldn’t help but smile even though I tried to fake being mad.

“Two punishments coming your way,” I said. “Really stacking up quite a record.”

“I’ll get out of it,” he said, winking. “I always do.”

“Not this time.”

“We’ll see,” Alex stated confidently as he started backing up I fastened my seat belt. We were caught at a red light leaving the parking lot, and he leaned over, surprising me with a kiss on the cheek.

“You know you’re in a time-out,” I said, pushing his face away as he went in for another kiss. He pulled my hand down and kissed my cheek again as I watched for the light to change, but then he grabbed my head and turned my face towards his. I started to back away, planning to remind him that he was in a time-out again, but he shut me up with his mouth. We didn’t break the kiss until a horn sounded behind us. I glanced back to see a car waiting to leave, and Alex pulled out and started towards the office.

“Do you have to go back to work?” Alex asked in a whiney voice.

“I do,” I answered. “I’ve neglected my job for the past two days worrying about your interview.

“You know I would work at McDonald’s before I would leave,” Alex said as he slowed and turned into the office parking lot. He put the truck in park in an open spot, and I turned to look at him.

“I wouldn’t let you do that,” I countered grabbing his hand and pulling it up to my lips kissing the back of it. “See you tonight. Be ready.”

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Where we going?”

“We’re going for a walk. Meet me at my house,” I said as I unhooked my seat belt. I leaned towards him, and he closed the distance between us grabbing hold of the back of my head with his free hand as we kissed. It was a short kiss, and afterwards I slid out of the truck and close the door. I watched him leave, and with a quick wave, he was on his way to his place.

I entered the office to find Michelle waiting patiently as I walked back to my office. I unlocked the door and left it propped open, knowing that she would be in as soon as she heard me sit down in my chair. When she entered, I looked up as she sat in her usual seat across from me. She looked at me, grinning madly. I waited for her to say what she had to, but when she didn’t, I let out an annoyed sigh.

“You’re in love,” she said, leaning forward, propping herself up on her elbows, and batting her eyelashes.

“Am not,” I countered, throwing a paperclip at her. “Now leave me alone so I can work.”

“You know you’re in love,” she responded as she shook her blouse, trying to get the paperclip to fall out of the bottom of it. I had unintentionally thrown it down her blouse, and I stifled a laugh as I heard the metal slide down the wooden desk and ping on the floor.

“Just because Alex and I are dating and are really close doesn’t mean we’re in love, it’s only September 21st.”

“And your point is?” she asked leaning back in her chair.

“It’s barely been three months,” I answered. “It takes more time to fall in love.”

“Boss,” Michelle said, and I frowned. “You’re damn close to buying a house and adopting a kid and a puppy.”

“Am not,” I countered. “I don’t even like kids. They stink and they’re loud and pricey.”

“Right, keep lying,” she said as she stood. “You’re in love, bud. Just accept it and move on.”

“Get back to work,” I ordered playfully. “You’re my secretary, not my therapist.”

“I might as well be,” she stated as she left my office, letting the door slowly glide shut behind her.

She left me alone for the rest of the day, and I was able to get yesterday’s neglected work caught up before it was time to leave and meet Alex.

When I arrived at home, I saw him sitting in the dark, out on the porch steps, his truck parked in my spot in front of my place. He stood when I got out of the car and came to meet me. I noticed that he wore comfortable shoes, ready for our walk. I was still in my suit with my jacket hanging over my shoulder. He kissed me on the cheek, and I handed him my keys.

“Why didn’t you use the spare?” I asked, indicating the spare key hiding under a loose board in the wooden bench on the porch.

“You know I don’t like being in your house without you home,” he answered as he opened the front door and walked into the living room, flipping on the light.

“And I still don’t understand why,” I added, and he turned, grabbing my free hand.

“Just go get changed,” he said. “We’ve argued about this too many times. Another discussion is not going to change how I feel about it.”

“So when you move in, you’ll still wait outside?” I asked, loosening my tie as I started up the steps with him following behind me.

“No,” he answered, laughing. “Because I’ll own half.”

“Right,” I said. “You’re still weird.”

“Just because you don’t have manners and let yourself into my apartment…”

“Hey, you gave me the spare key,” I interrupted, playfully shaking my finger at him before entering the bedroom. I immediately kicked off my shoes while unbuckling my belt. Alex walked over to my closet and pulled out my jogging shoes and a pair of loose fitting jeans. I left my light-gray undershirt on and dropped my suit pants to the floor.

“Finally wearing the red boxer briefs I got you, I see,” Alex said, glancing pointedly at my crotch as I pulled on my jeans. He handed me a pair of white tube socks to replace my black dress socks.

After I was fully dressed and ready to go, I followed him back downstairs turning out all the lights, save one plus the outside light so we could see when we got back.

“Ready?” I asked as I took his hand after locking the front door behind us.

“Why are we going for a walk?” he asked, giving me a smoldering look. “I thought we would be celebrating differently.”

I just smiled, ignoring his question.

It was cool now, in September. The leaves hadn’t started to change color just yet, but it wouldn’t be long before they did. I liked this time of year. It seemed peaceful and slower. Most of my family hated this time of year –the colder shorter days, the change in the weather, and the preparations for winter. Unlike them, I enjoyed it. When a strong breeze blew through the trees, I listened to the leaves rustle, just enjoying our time together, the feel of his hand in mine.

We were heading down a trail that led to a river a few miles away, but I didn’t plan on walking all the way there. In the summer, it was a favorite fishing spot and over the years, the trail had been smoothed out for overuse and solar-powered lights had been added to light the way at night. Alex also had a flashlight with him illuminating the path even more. I glanced up, saw that it was cloudy, and sighed. The weather had changed a lot since lunch. I was about to discuss turning around and going out, but Alex tightened his grip.

“It’s not going to rain,” Alex whispered, seeming to read my mind. “Michelle called me before she left for the night.”

“When did you two become best friends?” I asked, laughing as he nudged me off the trail slightly.

“She said that you didn’t want a puppy or kids. Is that true?” he asked, and I frowned, slightly annoyed that Michelle would betray my confidence like that.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I mean, kids are so annoying.”

“Some day you’ll want a kid, right? Just not now?” He asked, and I stopped walking to look at him. He turned to face me, still holding my hand.

“One day I’ll want a family,” I answered. As he smiled, his perfect teeth seemed to shine in the dimly lit night.

“And a puppy right?” Alex asked as we started walking again.

“Of course,” I answered as I felt a cold wet drop graze my cheek. I began to hear rain drops colliding with the leaves in the trees, and I looked up only to get hit with another drop right in my eye.

“I guess it is going to rain,” Alex said, and I started laughing as the wind increased and the rain began to pour from the sky.

We turned and started running back towards the house. The light from the flashlight bouncing as Alex ran beside me. We kept our hands firmly intertwined as we made our way down the trail. When we got to my front lawn, we quickly found the sidewalk and bounded up the stairs to the porch to catch our breath, which began to condense in the quickly cooling temperature outside. We were both laughing and leaned over resting our hands on our knees as we slouched. As I stood upright breathing easier, Alex pushed me against the wall and kissed me. When he broke the kiss, he rested his head on my chest. We were both shivering. I felt him reach down and grab my hand, pulling them up between our chests.

“This is nice,” I said as I wrapped my free arm around him, pulling him closer to me.

“Daniel,” Alex whispered, then looked up at me, “I love you.”

When he said it, my stomach tightened, and I couldn’t breathe for a second. A lump forced its way into my throat, and my eyes stung as the words seemed to attack every sensation in my body. I looked down and met his eyes, smiling.

“I love you, too,” I responded, kissing him on the top of his head.

Part IV

A van door sliding shut knocked me out of my daydream of my early years with Alex. I was sitting on a cold, stone bench under a tree when the van pulled up. My cheeks were wet and my nose was runny. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a tissue as quickly as I could. After I blew my nose and wiped my cheeks with my sweater sleeves, I stood to greet my mom, but a little boy ran up to me. I bent down and pulled him up and hugged him as I looked at Mom, watching and smiling.

“Run along and play, Mattie,” I ordered lightly. “In the clear part behind the van, but stay where I can see you.”

“Can I get my soccer ball out of Grandma’s van?” He asked, and I nodded my head. He smiled and turned quickly, his light-brown hair blowing in the breeze. I looked up at the large, shade tree before I stepped up to where Mom was standing.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she wrapped me into a hug. “I would’ve kept him longer, but I had a doctor’s appointment, and you know how those go.”

“Yeah,” I responded. “It’s fine. I was done anyway.”

“It’s been five years, Daniel,” she said carefully as she walked up to stand beside me. I turned to look back at gravestone that had his name on it.

“I know,” I responded, feeling her arm loop in mine and her head rested on my arm.

“You know, after Alex died and you rushed right out and adopted Matthew, I thought you were making a huge mistake,” she said as she glanced behind her to see him kicking the ball then running after it to kick it again. “I changed my mind as soon as I saw you holding him in your arms, as a newborn baby.”

“He saved my life,” I said. “Alex saved my life first, and now Mattie does.”

“I know,” she said as she handed me her handkerchief from her purse, so I could dry my tears again. “And you’ve raised him up to be the best five year old boy, with a mean streak that tops yours.”

“He gets it from Alex,” I said, laughing weakly. “Somehow, he just has to.”

“When are you going to tell him about Alex?” she asked.

“Soon,” I answered. “I want him to remember everything I tell him so he can know Alex, too.”

“He’ll know him,” Mom soothed. “I know you’ve always ignored this question before Daniel, but I’m going to ask it anyway.”

“No need. I know the question,” I said. “This isn’t the day I met him, and this isn’t the day he died, but September 21st is the day he told me he loved me. The best day of my life.”

“Oh,” she said, pulling me into another hug. After a few moments, she released me and took a step back. “You’re too thin.”

“I know,” I said “You always tell me that.”

“Come to dinner tonight,” she said. “Making your favorite. You can’t miss it.”

“I wouldn’t dare miss it,” I said. “But I promised Mattie a game of soccer first, so be prepared for some hungry men.”

“Always,” she said as she winked and turned to walk back to the van.

“Matthew Alexander Hastings come say bye to Grandma,” I called.

I watched him pick up the ball and run up to my mother. He dropped the ball to wrap her into a big, two-armed hug, and she kissed him on the forehead. I walked around to the passenger side of the van and let Maggie out. The large, shepherd-mix dog, also five years old now, had a little bit of gray on the tip of her muzzle. I grabbed the backpack Mattie would need tomorrow for school and slung it over my shoulder. I bent down and tossed Mattie his soccer ball after Mom released him from his hug. I gave one last look back at Alex’s grave again saying goodbye to Alex, until Mattie tugged on the bottom of my sweater dragging me back into the present.

Copyright © 2008 by Krista, all rights reserved

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