The Long Road To... - 19. Somebody's Home

The meeting with the Ambrosius and Phaetheon had went as well as could have been expected. Despite the lack of warning about the similarities, we had managed. I felt something like a combination of relief and skepticism. When I came out, Marius was waiting.

“How’d it go?” He smiled and fell in step with me.

I looked at him sideways.

“Brothers?”

He thought for a moment and then chuckled. “Oh, shit! Nobody told you?”

I shook my head.

“Sorry man.” He looked down. Maybe he had not truly thought to say anything. I lightly punched his arm. He looked up and returned my smile.

“Sorry.”

We walked back to my room without much talk. He did not ask any questions and I did not offer any answers.

“I’ll come get you later,” he said at my door. “If that’s alright…”

“Good.” I nodded.

He looked up at me.

“I like you.”

His face beamed brightly before he turned and walked back down the hall. It was nice to give someone a little joy. It was something I seldom did anymore.

I sat on the chair across from the window to think. Hopefully they had gotten enough in the private meeting. They seemed more concerned with Stag’s Pass than the Duke. Everything was about making peace with the Pass when they talked with me. The Duke seemed to be defeated in a forgone kind of way. Somehow things were never that simple though.

There was a light knock at the door. I opened it to Phaetheon.

“Can I speak with you?” He waited politely for me to answer and be asked in. I nodded and opened the door wider.

“The King will be having his formal audience.” He watched for my reaction. I held my breath.

“Don’t worry. You will not have to go before the court.”

I breathed again.

“I thought you would like that.” He smiled. “The truth is, we got enough out of the captain already. The king will go over some of it publicly and then pronounce the Duke and captain traitors and call for their deaths.” He inhaled and exhaled.

“I will request the captain live out his days in the dungeons…” He looked at me.

“Ambrosius wants him executed, but the King will not cross my wishes in public. The captain may still be useful. Who knows?”

I was not sure how I felt about the captain. He had been beaten and broken down. He could never be trusted. Had I met him in a dark alley somewhere, I probably would have been far less merciful than Phaetheon.

He was watching me again.

“So where does that leave you?” He tilted his head.

Where did it leave me? The same place as I had been lost and alone.

“Of course you would be welcome here for as long as you desired…” He smiled and glanced out the window and down. “But I do not think this is where you truly want to be.”

He was right. Sure there were good people here, just a lot of them. I could end up in a little house on a backstreet like Artor. Not a bad end to a life, but a prison in the guise of a home is still a prison.

“I promised to be there for you and I will honor that if I can.” His lips turned up in the corners and his eyes crinkled at the edges as if he just heard something funny, something that only he could hear.

“You are free to do what you want, this is not a prison, but I would like to see that you are safe and headed to where you want to be. Do you want to go back across the sea?”

I thought for a time. Where else could I go? At least I could live out what was left near my own people, close to the Earth Father. I nodded.

“I will help you there, but things must be done here, first, if you can wait. It will be safer my way. You have trusted me so far, if you can trust me a little while longer, I will get you on your way.”

~ ~ ~

What with everyone who was anyone attending the king’s audience, it was easy to get to Artor’s house. He was not there because he was not supposed to be. Two horses, already loaded, waited. Galehault paced impatiently.

“Ready?”

I covered up as much as possible to hide my dark skin and we were off to the nearest gates. I didn’t relax until we were well outside the city’s walls. We still waded though populated areas for a while before hitting the more scattered homesteads.

“A little bit farther before we turn off the main road,” Galehault said without much emotion. I wondered if he would have rather been back to see the proceedings at court.

Before long, we reached the grove that Phaetheon told us to watch for and we turned toward the hills on the horizon. Surprisingly, the trail was easy to follow, even with its lack of use. Soon, we were completely alone.

“A quiet place for a few days, just while we prepare to march,” Phaetheon had said.

“There, that’s it.” Galehault trotted ahead, I increased speed to keep up. There was a long narrow house nestled along the low side of a hill. A light smoke drifted from a the roof. A sheltered pen sat to its side.

A small heard of goats appeared before us. We slowed down and approached the homestead, passing a small fenced off garden. There was a man in it. He raised his head and we came to a halt nearby. We dismounted as he walked over to us. He was big man and also of many years, it showed in the lines on his face and the faded colors of his hair.

“Good Greetings,” he said simply.

“Good Greetings. Maritimus?” Galehault looked leery. He examined him as if trying to recall the face.

The man nodded and smiled. A warm smile, one of a plain man with no worldly worries. It has been a while since I had met one of those.

“I know you,” he said to Galehault, then he peered at me. “I don’t know you.” He looked at me a long time.

“Phaetheon sent us…” Galehault started.

“I can see that,” he chuckled. “Still likes that silly symbol I see.” He pointed to the crest on my chest. Galehault looked astonished, appalled even. “How is he then?” He reached to shake my hand. It was warm in mine and dirty for the gardening. “Call me Mari.”

“Phaetheon is well. He asked if he might beg for your help and house a guest for a few days,” Galehault said.

“I don’t have much room here…” He looked between us.

“Not for me.” He said quickly, too quickly. “For Talon,” he added awkwardly. “This is Talon. He is from across the cold sea.”

“I can see that.” He nodded. “And you young man, Galehault, yes?”

“Yes.” He reddened.

Maritimus chuckled a moment. “Galehault…” he turned to me, “…and Talon. Come, let’s sit and have a drink while you get me caught up on the happenings in the capitol and what Phaetheon has been up to.” He smiled.

We sat on the fence of garden. He handed a skin of water to us. The cool water was refreshing after the ride.

The plan was simple. If Maritimus was in agreement, I would spend some time way out in the middle of nowhere on the farm with him until the preparations were complete and Ambrosius was ready to march on the Duke.

“Well, I can’t promise good food, or company…” Maritimus smiled at me, “but if you like solitude and quiet, this is the place.” A goat bleated nearby. He chuckled. “Except for them. Hope you like goats.”

I nodded.

He nodded back. “Any other news?”

We, or more properly, Galehault told him what he knew, which was not a great deal. I agreed when I needed to but added little. Galehault’s knowledge was soon exhausted.

“Don’t worry son.” Maritimus put his hand on his shoulder. “Out here, I don’t need to know everything.” He smiled again. “Are you wanting to stay tonight? ‘Cause if you aren’t, you best be heading back. It will be dark when you get to the city as it is.”

“Yes, true, I better go.”

We all stood and turned to the horses. Galehault shook my hand as Maritimus unloaded all the provisions we had brought for him and untied the horses. “You take care.” He looked around. “Phaetheon has his reasons to send you out here. I will be back as soon as I can.”

He shook Maritimus’ hand. “Thank you. Will you guys be alright?”

Maritimus laughed. “We will be fine son. Us grownups can take care of ourselves.” Galehault pinkened. “Give my greetings to Phaetheon and your father.”

“I… will…” Galehault stammered. Artor had not been mentioned directly. He mounted up but looked confused when Maritimus handed him the second set of reigns.

“No room for a horse out here. Bring ‘em back when you come.”

Galehault nodded, turned his horse, and led the other back down the path and away.

We stood in silence watching him go for a while. The sun was lowering in the sky. He would just barely make it within sight of the city before dark. A gentle breeze blew past, it carried a little bit of smoke from the fire coming from the chimney opening of the house.

“Come,” he said with a softness, “let me show your home for a while.” We picked up what we could from the goods that Phaetheon sent and walked towards the house. It was a narrow one, set into the side of the hill, in fact some of the land flowed out over the roof in places.

“Garden.” He thumbed behind us. “Pen for the goats at night, and the well.” The end of the hovel had a short fence around it and the well was in front of it near the house. “Privy over there.” He pointed to the far side of the pen. A small, wood enclosed closet stood a respectable distance away. “A pond on the other side of the hill for washing.” I nodded.

He prompted me to follow through the open door. It was deep in shadow other than the fire and the light from the door. Once my eyes focused, I could see that we were indeed up against the earth, planks made a wall against the soil. The fire was in a stone stove with a short rock chimney that nearly reached the roof, I could see a sliver of light in the space. Next to the stove was a partially blocked door. Maritimus was pulling out stuff from the bags and placing it on the barrel in front of it.

“Phaetheon always remembers.” He held up a small package of sweets. “One thing I can’t make myself.” He ripped open the paper and stuffed a candy into his mouth. Suddenly he looked at me, as if realizing I was still there. He held out the package.

I shook my head.

The rest of the room contained a few benches, a large pile of fur and hides, and, from the ceiling, a netting with fabrics and furs was slung wall to wall.

“There is that or that for later. No difference to me. Unless my back is acting up, then I like to be down on the floor.” He chuckled.

He opened the top of a pot that hung above the fire and inhaled deeply.

“Stew.” He smiled to himself and replaced the lid. “Make yourself at home. I best be finishing up and then call the herd in for the night. Wood for the fire is out on the side. You need anything, let me know.” He grinned warmly and left me alone in the house. There was not all that much more to see. I placed my remaining bag next to the fabric and fur bed-pile and waited a few moments before heading back outside.

Maritimus was in his garden again. When he saw me, he nodded. I nodded back. He seemed content to not worry about me at all. I looked around, not much else to see out here either.

I walked around the side of the house. The wood for the fire was indeed there. It was a small pile with an axe leaned against the wall. The path wove past and into the trees beyond. I followed it as it turned and followed the side of the hill. Birds in the distance sing heartily. I went off path and listened to their music.

~ ~ ~

I strolled back only when the shadows threatened to obscure the way. As in the past, I was up to the game the light played. I was not worried. The path was dark. The whiff of smoke inviting. By the time I turned the corner of the house, I could smell supper and suddenly I was famished.

The door was open as before with firelight flickering out. I poked my head in. Maritimus sat eating from a bowl next to the fire. I crossed the threshold. He looked up at me.

“Hungry?”

I nodded. He ladled some of his broth into a bowl, added a spoon, and handed it to me. I sat opposite him. He reached back and ripped a loaf and handed me half.

“From Phaetheon.” He grinned.

I tore in. The bread was good, his stew was perfect: heavy on meat, not flavorful, not cold, not hot, not thick, simple, perfect.

“Good?”

I nodded. He smiled, set his empty bowl aside, and stood up. A goat cried from somewhere close by. He pounded on the wall twice. “Don’t mind them. They will settle down.“ He handed me a small skin and walked out into the dark. I drank without hesitation, fresh water as before.

He returned with some wood and set one in the fire.

“Floor or roof?” He pointed down and up.

He caught me with my mouth full and I nodded to the fabric pile. He chuckled, before shucking off his boots and some of his outer garments.

“Throw a log on if you want. Close the door if you want, makes no mind to me.” He climbed and set himself up in the netting.

“I wake early, but I will try not to disturb you.” He seemed to enjoy some private joke he only knew. The corners of his mouth rose up a little.

He looked directly into my eyes. The grin faded.

“Dream of nothing while you sleep, Talon. Dreams are better left for when you are awake.” He rolled his head away from the fire.

I did not dream at all that first night.

~ ~ ~

I woke alone in the house. The sun was bright beyond the door. The fire was low. I untangled myself from the bedding and tossed a stray piece of wood on the fire so it would not go out.

I could not see Maritimus from the door. The goats were grazing in the field down the way. I went to the well and pulled up a draught for myself then used the outhouse.

Still no sign of him anywhere. I followed the trail past the side of the house, the axe was gone.

I continued on, this time staying on the path. It eventually found its way over a depression in the earth. Once on the other side, I heard the trickle of water. Some brushes obscured the edge. The path found the way round to a small, clear pond. It appeared to be fed by a spring. The trickle came from a run over some rocks nearby. A man-made edge pooled the water in one place, only the overflow left down and away. I sat down on the rocks and listened to the sounds of the water.

~ ~ ~

I returned along the same path. A small tree lay near the wood and the axe was back.

Maritimus waved and walked over from the well.

The mid-day meal was the remaining stew and another loaf of bread from the night before, this time accompanied by fresh goats milk. Good and more than enough.

He went back to his garden after eating. I grabbed the things I thought best for hunting and tried a new trail in the opposite direction.

~ ~ ~

I had wanted to earn my keep by bringing back tomorrow’s dinner, but I was disappointed. There had been what looked like a rabbit den, but I was unable to lure out any. Not a single dear in sight. I returned empty handed. Maritimus didn’t seem to mind. He was petting one of the baby goats while its mother grazed nearby when I returned.

Supper was a simple meal once again: berries, bread, milk, a few scraps of meat not used in the stew. Easy enough. He wished me goodnight as politely as the night before.

I crept out of the house. I stood next to the garden looking up at the stars. It was so clear. The patterns were different. Gone was the Sickle, the Bow, and the Calf. New groups of lights shown. My mind wandered across the sky making up my own constellations.

~ ~ ~

When I came out of the house the next morning, Maritimus was already at work mucking out a part of the goat pen and lean-to. I found another shovel and dug in next to him. It was easy enough, until, just before we finished, I slipped on a pile and landed, face first in the stuff.

I felt hot, a little angry, and, when Maritimus chuckled, hurt. I slowly rearranged myself and made to get up. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I twisted my head to him.

“You may want to wash in the pond, my friend,” he said simply, then extended his hand. He was stronger than he looked when he pulled me up.

I left the work and trudged around the hill to the pond. I took off my clothes and entered the cool water. It was good for my hot head, dirty body, and bad temper. I pulled in the clothes and rinsed them off well and banged them on the rock a little to get all the crap off them. It did not take long and I lay them out on the ground to dry.

I hauled myself up on the little stone damn and sat on the rocks. There was almost no breeze so I did not feel all that cold and took a little time to try not to think. Sure the bathhouse at court was luxurious, but it was decadent in its own way.

I looked around more and at the trees, the side of the hill, and the pond. This was better. All natural, all understandable. I looked at my arms looking to make sure I had gotten it all off. I did not want to stink up Maritimus’ house, for it was his house and I was only a guest, a very temporary guest. I rubbed at one of my scars. My skin had enough of them. I looked complicated, not simple like this place. I did not really belong here either.

The scar was next to another and I rubbed that one too. I thought of who had sewn that one up. I moved my field of view along my body to my legs and the nicks and cuts that had happened there. A puncture scar on my leg from a deeper wound lay on my thigh.

I remembered we had joked while I had been sewn up. He laughed that it had been a good thing that the lance had not hit a few inches over. The hands that had touched me had been delicate and gentle, his eyes were warm and tender. After he had taken care of my cut, he had touched me in the place the lance had not. It had felt so good. In spite of everything, he had made me feel special even within the pain.

I heard the bushes but did not feel any wind. I scanned around myself and nothing was visible. Finally animals to hunt.

I looked at myself again and realized that I had hardened. I looked down at it. Just the thought of him had been enough. I touched, but did not feel right about the sensation and withdrew my hand. I closed my eyes and visualized his face. He smiled at me just like he used to.

And never would again.

I felt the tear on my face before I realized it was there. I felt another race down my other cheek and before long I was crying like… like I did not know what. I had no frame of reference for how I felt. It was like losing him a second time.

He was gone and I was alone. I felt my crotch move and was embarrassed to myself… for myself. I was a mess at feeling two emotions at the same time about someone who was not here. About someone who would never make me feel either again.

~ ~ ~

Maritimus was out in the garden when I came back. He did not look up nor even appear to hear me approach. I almost called out to him, but stopped myself. Instead I went in, grabbed some gear, and went off into the woods. I was determined to bring in something for dinner… or not to come back.