Barely Existing - 14. Chapter 14

"Breakfast?" Gavin blinked in confusion.

"Yup. Breakfast. So, get your sexy ass out of bed and into some clothes." Tate winked at him over his shoulder as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Wait!" Gavin propped himself up on an elbow and eyed the large bulge pressing against the front of Tate's jeans. "What about you?"

Tate pulled at the restricting fabric. "That was for you. Now hurry up."

"But-"

"I'll wait for you in the living room." Tate disappeared into the hall and Gavin listened to his heavy footsteps descend the stairs.

"No fair!"

"Hurry up!" Tate laughed.

"Alright, alright!" Gavin quickly dressed and hurried down to join Tate. He grabbed his wallet and keys off the table beside the garage door.“I’m ready.”

***

Gavin and Tate walked into the small, but surprisingly busy diner. The smell of fresh brewed coffee, frying bacon and waffles greeted them. The two men settled in at a table in the corner and Gavin glanced around. The paneled walls had been painted white and photographs of the area decorated them. It was typical diner decor, but still charming.

A teenage girl bopped over to their table. "Good morning!" Her voice was bright and cheerful. "My name is Tina. What can I get you to drink?"

Both men requested coffee and Gavin was relieved when Tina quickly returned with a freshly brewed pot.Gavin grabbed his mug and quickly added sugar and cream.He wrapped his hands around the warm cup and inhaled, groaning appreciatively, and took a sip. "Hmmm, good."

Tate snickered. "Would you two like a moment alone?"

Gavin looked through his lashes at Tate pretended to think about it before he nodded. "Yes. That would be nice."

Tate chuckled as he studied the menu. Gavin grinned at his intense concentration and covered it with his hand. He laughed when Tate growled and gnashed his teeth playfully.

Tate's stomach growled loudly. "Damn, I'm hungry."

"I can tell." Gavin scanned the menu. "It all looks so good."

"I've only been here a few times and I haven't been disappointed yet."

Tina bounced up to their table and topped off their coffees.Used to the large man's appetite, Gavin did not blink when Tate ordered two of the largest specials with a side plate of waffles.

Tate whined pitifully and pouted. "I'm so hungry.My stomach's eating my other organs.There went my kidney."

Gavin playfully kicked the other man under the table and thenentwined their legs. "Oh hush up and drink your coffee. You're fine you big ol' baby."

"No. No I'm not. My stomach's going to eat itself and it's going to be all your fault."

Gavin grinned. "Why is it all my fault?"

"You are so slow. You took forever to get ready." Tate stuck out his lower lip."Don't you know when a grown ass man shows up to take you out for breakfast you shouldn't make him wait?"

"Oh, whatever. Cut the puppy dog eyes." Gavin laughed. "Grown ass man? Was there someone else at the door?"

"Oh! Ouch!" Tate grabbed his chest dramatically. "It hurts! It hurts."

Gavin fluttered his lashes and stared at Tate's lips. "As I recall, you were the one who made us late."

"Hey! I'm a simple man. You show up to the door wearing socks and expect me to avoid temptation?" Tate's lips twisted in a salacious grin.

Gavin grinned and threw his napkin at Tate. Tate caught it and looked haughtily at Gavin. "How rude!" He stuck out his tongue at Gavin and crossed his eyes.

Gavin shook his head and pointed at the bigger man. "There is something wrong with you."

Tate beamed. "I know! Isn't it great?

Gavin laughed. Being with Tate was fun and he found himself laughing more when they were together.The more Gavin got to know Tate the clearer it became that the cocky attitude Tate had when they first met was more of an act. Tate was a confident man, but he was also silly. He was tender, tough, and easy to talk to and be with.

Conversation strayed and Gavin listened to Tate talk about his siblings. He smiled, enjoying the animation and affection the large man expressed for his family. He leaned forward, wanting to touch the larger man, and subtly brushed his fingers across the back of Tate's hand. Tate's green eyes softened and warmed making Gavin melt. In that moment, no one else existed.

Their server's voice startled Gavin. He jerked around and found her standing at their table balancing a loaded serving tray.She placed a plate stacked with waffles and two platters piled with ham, hash browns, bacon, eggs, cooked apples and toast in front of Tate.

"Everything look ok?" She asked cheerfully.

"Yes, thank you." Gavin smiled at her and then turned back to Tate once she left."I feel as if I should be used to your large appetite by now."

Tate winked. "I'm a big man, what can I say."

Yes. Yes you are. Gavin snorted even as his face heated. "I thought you were a growing boy?" He teased.

Tate chuckled and dug into one of the plates in front of him. Gavin had quickly realized when Tate sat down for a meal, he took it seriously. It meant that outside of a little small talk, the big man did not say much, but that was okay with Gavin. Nothing was worse than your food getting cold when the person you were with would not shut up.

Gavin pushed his nearly empty plate away and patted his stomach as he watched Tate start on his third. "I'd love to know how you eat as much you do but stay so fit."

"I have a great metabolism."

"Apparently." The bell above the door jingled and instinctively Gavin looked up. He froze when he saw three people entering the diner.

"Shit." He muttered and glanced down at the table.

Tate stared at Gavin in concern. The smaller man looked nervous and his hands shook. Tate glanced toward the door. "Isn't that the guy from the bar?"

Tate wanted to swear when Gavin nodded, his face was alarmingly pale. He reached across the table, needing to comfort his mate, and took Gavin's trembling hands into his own. "What's wrong baby?"He rumbled softly and warily watched as two men and a womanchose a table on the other side of the diner.

"Are you almost done?" Gavin whispered as he stared fixedly at a spot on the table top.

His appetite gone, Tate pushed what was left of his waggles to the side. "Yeah baby. I'm done. Let's go." Tate stood up, his bear urging him to protecthis mate from the unknown threat.

"We can't leave yet. We need to pay our bill." Gavin muttered even as he looked hopefully at Tate.

Tate stood up and pulled his truck keys from his pocket. "I'll walk you to the door, and then I'll go pay our bill. You can head on to the truck, okay?" Tate's voice was deep and low, almost a growl. His bear was pushing to the surface sensing his mate's discomfort.

Gavin pressed a kiss to the side of Tate's neck. "Thank you." He whispered, relieved.

Tate guided Gavin to the door with a hand on the base of his back. "I'll be there soon." Tate ushered his mate through the door. He quickly settled their tab and hurried to join the man waiting for him in his truck.He avoided looking at the three people whose presence alone had upset Gavin. He had to know who they were and why Gavin reacted to them the way he did.

Tate slid into his truck and started the engine. Once he was out of the parking lot, he pressed a kiss to the back of Gavin's hand. "Are you okay?" He asked gently.

"Yeah." Gavin whispered. "I'm sorry about that."

Tate shook his head. "No baby. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But I interrupted you breakfast for no reason."

"I was done anyway."

Gavin scoffed. "You were still eating."

Tate squeezed his hand. "Don't worry about it. You want to talk about what happened?"

Gavin raised their joined hands and pressed them to his cheek."I'll tell you everything when we get home."

Fucking sweet and adorable man. Tate nodded. "Whatever you want baby."

The rest of the drive to Gavin's house was quiet, both men lost in their thoughts. Tate parked in front of the garage and followed Gavin in. They settled on the couch with Gavin pressed into Tate's side.

Gavin stared at their linked hands. "The guy you recognized from the bar? His name is Dave and is dating my ex-boyfriend, Tim. The woman they were with is Tim's wife."

"Wait, what?"Tate looked sharply at Gavin, waiting for him to elaborate.

Gavin nodded. "Yep. When Tim and I first started dating everything was good. We never lived together, but he usually spent the weekend here with me. We didn't really see each other during the week. When we started dating, he told me he wasn't into labels but I didn't think much of it.Who was I to judge how someone defined their sexuality?" Tate winced. He had said the exact same thing to Gavin when they first met. Gavin nodded solemnly. "It gets better. I noticed a few months into our relationship that Tim would disappear during the morning and show back up shortly after I returned from my morning walk.I just assumed he was going to the gym or running errands so I didn't say anything about it.

"Anyway, it continued like that over the next few more months. On one of the week nights I went out with Crys and Eric for dinner, Tim walks into the restaurant with his arm wrapped around another woman. We were settling our tab and I didn't want to make a scene. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, a chance to explain. Well, I asked him about it that weekend." Gavin laughed harshly.

"He told me the woman he was with was his wife.I was so angry. I never had an idea he was married. He told me that he wasn't into labels, and outside of his marriage he didn't label his relationships. He said his wife knew and she was okay with his flings.That they had an open relationship." Gavin rolled his eyes. "I thought we were building something but I was never anything more than a fling to him." He shook his head.

"Anyway. I threw him out that night. Ended things with him. He called a few times over the following week.I wasn't heartbroken over Tim. I knew I didn't love him, but it still hurt. The next weekend I went out with Crys and Eric. I just wanted a night with friends, away from the quiet and some time out of my head. We saw Tim there with Dave and they were all over each other. I had enough liquid courage in me that night that I didn't give two shits about causing a scene. I was going to confront him, but he saw me first. He walks over to our table and one thing led to another. Headmittedhe had started seeing Dave while we were together. Who knows how many others there were. Crys got in his face, and it all went downhill from there. We were politely asked to leave."

"Shit baby. No wonder you got upset when I told you I didn't label myself."Gavin nodded and gazed into Tate's eyes, letting the bigger man see the pain he hid there. Tate was relieved though. The pain in Gavin's eyes was not soul deep. It was only the pain of a man who was unsure if he could trust himself and others. "That's not what I meant when I said that, honey."

"I know and I trust you. Tim lied to me and used me. You are nothing like him.I understand some people don't like labels. There was just this insane attraction when we first met and then to hear his words from your lips...well, all my old fears, doubts and insecurities got the better of me."

"And coming onto you the way I did probably didn't help."

Gavin smiled. "Probably not. But like I said, I trust you. I don't know how or why but I know you would never do that to me."

"Do you still have feelings for Tim?" Tate asked, curious as to why Gavin went to such lengths to avoid him.

"No." Gavin answered honestly, without hesitation. "I didn't love him. He just made me feel like a fool. I'm not a big fan of confrontation and we didn't have what you would call an amicable split. When I see him in public I worry about him causing a scene. And after the other night at the bar? I don't think Dave would shy away from a scene or a chance to start drama.

Tate smiled in relief."Don't worry about them though. Fuck them. If they try to fucking start something I'll fucking kick their mother-fucking asses." He knew he laid it on thick, but he wanted to see his mate smile.

Gavin giggled. "Say fuck again."

Tate's inside melted into a warm puddle of goo as he listened to Gavin giggle. It amazed him that after everything his mate told him, he could still find his sense of humor.Tate ducked his head down and stared directly into Gavin's eyes. "Fuck." He whispered and both men cracked up laughing.

Gavin sobered and gazed at Tate. "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything." Tate vowed.

"Please don't lie to me or hide things. If you're not happy, talk to me about it. I know it's probably too soon to say what I'm about it to and I hope I don't scare you off. What I feel for you is deeper and more intense than anything I've felt before.I don't understand it. I trust you, I don't know why, but I do. There's something special between us and I'd really like to see where it goes."

Tate's heart plummeted. This was it. The moment he had been equally dreaming of and dreading. He mouth felt like cotton and his throat was dry. He stood up and paced the living room. "I can't make that promise yet, but I will. I have something I need to tell you before I can and to be honest, I am fucking terrified of losing you"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Gavin's voice trembled and he burrowed deeper into the couch cushions.

Tate knelt at Gavin's feet and held the smaller man's hands in his. "You said you trust me and I don't take that lightly. I need you to trust that I would never do anything to hurt you."

Gavin nodded. "I do."

Tate laid his head on Gavin's thighs. He was terrified and his body trembled, betraying him. He had only just found his mate but he could not imagine his life without the smaller man. His heart pounded painfully in his chest. He could not remember another moment in his life when he had been this scared.

Gavin's caressed his hair, his hand strong and steady."It's going to be okay Tate. Look at me." He tugged lightly on the strands.

Tate knew there were tears in his eyes when he raised his head to look at his mate. "Whatever it is, we will get through it; I'm not going anywhere. I promise to listen to you and then we will work through it. I told you I trust you and I meant it. You asked me to trust that you wouldn't hurt me and I agreed. I meant that too. Talk to me. It'll be okay, I swear." Gavin's voice was soft and sure.

Tate cleared his throat. He hated feeling so weak and emotional but if it meant keeping the man he had fallen for, he would do whatever he needed to. "How can you promise that?"

Gavin brushed his hand across Tate's jaw line. "Because, even if I'm not ready to admit it to myself, you are supposed to be mine and I am supposed to be yours. I know what we have is...different. It's different, special and bigger. I'm not really ready to have this conversation but I think, maybe, you needed to hear it."

Tate took a deep breath. Fuck I feel nauseous."Shit. I don't know how to say this. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't know it would be this hard."

"It's okay. I'm not rushing you." Gavin soothed, unsure where he had found his patience or his confidence during a "we need to talk" conversation.

"I'm...different. Well, I know everyone is, but I am more different than most." Tate sighed in frustration. "Damn it, I am not explaining this right."

"Tate, it will be alright." Gavin promised again as he watchedthe larger man pace the living room.

Tate took a deep breath. "I'm a bear."

Gavin paused and busted out laughing. "What? Tate, I have eyes. You're a big, strong man and with a deliciously hairy chest." Gavin waggled his eyebrows but stopped when he realized Tate was not laughing with him. The bigger man's expression was serious and worry pitted in the bottom of Gavin's stomach. "I don't understand Tate."

"That's not what I meant. I, um, I have two forms; two spirits. One is human and the other...isn't. My second form is a... black bear." Tate tensed, waiting for Gavin's reaction.

"Wh-what?" Gavin whispered.

Tate hesitated. "I, ah, I can turn into a black bear. I'm a shape shifter."

Tate crossed the room and again knelt at Gavin's feet. His breath whooshed out of his chest in relief when the smaller man did not cringe or pull away, but instead ran a hand through his hair. Gavin looked down at him in bewilderment. "I-I could show you." Tate offered.

Gavin nodded, his confusion was obvious. Tate took Gavin's hand and led him to the back yard. "You said you trust me right?"

"Y-yes. I trust you." Gavin's voice quivered, but he meant every word. He did trust Tate.

"Then please, let me show you. Promise you'll stay, that you won't run." Tate begged.

Gavin nodded. "I won't run Tate." His heart pounded violently in his chest. He flushed hot and cold, nervous about what he might be about to witness. He only hoped the man he was falling for was not off his rocker.

Tate shed his clothes and tossed them haphazardly on the deck. Then, standing in the middle of Gavin's yard, he shifted. His bones did not crack and pop. There were no screams of pain or the sound ofshredding skin. His image blurred and glowed a faint gold tone before it cleared and he stood as a bear. It was a seamless transition, no different than moving from a sitting position to standing.

"Tate?" Gavin asked in shock. The bear in front of him chuffed and nodded. Gavin's legs folded under him and he landed with a thud on the ground. He sat there and just blankly stared at Tate's bear form, trying to absorb that he just witnessed a man turn into a bear. Impossible. But it apparently was not.

Gavin looked, really looked at Tate's black bear. He was really magnificent; easily two times the size of a normal black bear, and there was something vaguely familiar about him.

"Can-can I touch you?" He asked softly, still trying to process everything. The bear nodded, and slowly crept toward Gavin on his stomach. Gavin knew Tate was being cautious, trying not to scare him. He was not scared though, not of Tate. He knew, deep down, Tate would never hurt him, even if he did not understand how he knew or how Tate could even turn into an animal.

Gavin ran his fingers through Tate's thick, coarse but surprisingly soft fur. A soft breeze blew and Gavin realized the bear even smelled like Tate, though the scent was slightly stronger. Gavin traced his fingers over the shape of Tate's ears and head and gazed into his startling green eyes. Then it clicked, why the bear looked familiar. He had seen the bear almost every night in his dreams.

"How is that even possible?" Gavin whispered.

The bear's image blurred until Tate sat in front of him. "How is what possible baby? How is it possible that I can shift into a bear?"Tate asked softly, lacing his fingers with the smaller man's. Gavin did not run, he stayed with him. Everything was going better than he ever thought it would. Tate was full to the seam, nearly bursting with happiness.

"No. Well yes, but that's not what I meant." Gavin met Tate's gaze, his brown eyes troubled. "I dream of you. Almost every night. Sometimes you're a man and then you turn into an insanely large bear and other times it'svice versa. I thought I was going crazy. You weren't making me dream those things were you?"

Tate shook his head. "You've been dreaming about me?" He asked stunned.

"Yeah. It started the night we met. I thought it was a coincidence because I saw a bear in the woods behind the house that morning and then later in the day we met. But it was you I saw in the woods that morning wasn't it?"

The larger man nodded, looking sheepish. He pulled his clothes on and settled on the ground behind Gavin, wrapping the smaller man in his arms."I had just moved in and my bear wanted to explore and mark the territory. I scented something and it drew me like a magnet. I had to find it and that's when I found you. I just couldn't see you."

"But why would I dream about you turning into a bear?" Gavin asked concerned. "It doesn't make sense. I never believed anything like that was possible."

"I don't know. I'll have to ask my parents about that baby. I've never heard of that before. You said you dream about me almost every night. When did you dream of me last?"

" I, um, actually had one last night." Gavin blushed remembering the way he clung to Tate in his dream.

Tate waggled his eyebrows. "Was it a sexy dream?"

"No!" Gavin smacked Tate's hand where it rested on his thigh. "Perv." He teased. "It was actually kind of sad. The dreams are so realistic that sometimes when I wake up, I don't know I was only dreaming. You were holding me in the dream and then I woke up and I was alone. Well I thought I was, until I heard you pounding on my door."

"Hey! I was out there forever. I didn't think you were ever going to answer it. But what a surprise when you did."Tate leered at him, making Gavin laugh. He sobered and caressed Gavin's arms. "Seriously, are you okay? With all this I mean."

"Yeah." Gavin nodded hesitantly. "I don't understand, well, any of it really and I have questions. But yeah. I want you Tate."

Tate pulled Gavin back, until the other man was pressed against his chest and Tate supported both of their weight. Tate rested his chin on top of Gavin's head and hugged the man tight. The shackle that had weighed on him shattered and warmth filled him. His mate knew his secret and accepted him, possibly even loved him. Gavin's tattoo and his dreams were heavy on his mind though. Why would his mate, a man who knew nothing about shifters, have an ancient mating symbol in his tattoo? Tate really needed to talk to his parents.

"So what do I smell like?" Gavin asked cheekily.

"Delicious." Tate growled playfully getting Gavin to laugh again. "You smell like a springtime shower in the woods. But it's more complicated than what you smell like. It's what your scent does to me, what it means to me. You smell like home, warm and welcoming. It makes me feel like I belong, like I fit.You smell like mine.

"Everything about you calls to me. You've heard of a soul mate right? Some people believe in having 'a one and only'while others think it's a joke. It's different for shifters though. We mate for life."

"Am, am I your s-s-soul mate?" Gavin asked, his voice soft and unsure but filled with hope.

Tate nodded. "You're it for me."

"So, you feel it too. That we're meant to be. Like you finally found the puzzle piece you were missing." Gavin's voice was soft and full of awe. That's what Tate was for him, a part of him that had been missing.

"Yeah baby. We're meant to be. I couldn't have phrased it better myself."

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading chapter 14!   Huge thanks to Valkyrie!  All feedback is welcomed and appreciated! Let me know what you think. 
Gavin finally knows Tate's big secret. The big man is a shape shifter (were-bear). But Tate wants to know why Gavin has his bear tattooed on his back and does the smaller man even know about the hidden symbol? It's coming!  Chapter 15 is in the works and Tate will get to meet Gavin's parents. Oh goody, goody.