Jump to content
RIP - Comicality
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

In Four Years - 1. Freshman Year Part I

I set out to write a story based on a prompt, but the short story went above and beyond. I plan to honor that prompt with a poem later on.
 

My heart is pounding and my breath is short. As I fidget in my seat, I brush my black hair into my eyes and hunker down further into my seat. I am being way too obvious with my attempt at staying hidden. Someone had to have seen me, which completely terrifies me. So, I look around discreetly, phew! I remain invisible.

I am both surprised and pleased that no one has noticed me, I am such a nervous wreck that I expected someone to see- Oh no! That boy just looked at me, hide! I immediately re-brush my hair into my eyes, I draw up my hoodie and hunker further into my seat.

One would expect that my behavior only happens when I am nervous. Sadly, this is my usual behavior. I am deathly shy and with any attention thrown my way I just want to curl into the fetal position whimpering for mommy. Now, when it comes to my family or a close friend I ‘come out of my shell” so to speak. But with strangers, that shell is my home. So, here I am in a building with teachers I have never met, students that seem to tower over me, and in a place often described as hell on earth: High school. So on the first day of the school year as a freshman, I am not looking forward to the next four years.

Now, here I am, in this room with many unfamiliar faces, and a smattering of a few friends. Everything is going to be okay…. Right? I need to take deep breathes: breathe in… breathe out…. Breathe- Ooh! That guy across the room is cute! I would- Ah!!! He looked my way! Good God, hiding is pointless! I need to run away! As I get ready to run out of the room, the door slams shut. My fate is sealed.

With bated breath I slowly turn around in my seat and see my teacher for the first time. My eyes fall upon a portly man with gray-going-on-white hair. With a confidence that I have never seen before, he walks towards his desk, and faced with his presence, I begin to calm down and soon relax in my seat. Maybe, everything will be okay.

As soon as he reaches his desk, he turns around and speaks. “Good Afternoon class! My name is Mr. Davis, but you can call me Mr. D!”

With that one sentence, he has my attention. His voice is so deep and soothing. I am now the most relaxed since my day began. So when he speaks again, I feel utterly calm.

“Now, it is time for roll call,” with that he gets the clipboard and begins.

Well, there went my sense of calm! He’ll be calling my name soon, this is not okay. People are going to notice me!

“…Escobar?”

Some random girl responds, “Here!”

“Andrew Espinosa?”

I gulp and slowly raise my hand, “H-here sir.”

It was barely a whisper but I was a flaming red mess. With that done, I just pulled into myself as Mr. Davis continued the roll call.

When that was done, he got right down to business.

“Alright everyone! Welcome to Debate! In this class, you will be taught how to speak and argue persuasively. It is my hope that by the end of the year all of you will be able to see both sides on a given issue…”

Again, that voice! I am becoming more relaxed, but I now have a nagging feeling after Mr. Davis mentioned speaking. As a shy person, speaking in front of people is out of the question. I need to calm down, maybe he doesn’t mean it that way. Yeah, that must be it!

“… A requirement of this class is that you must speak in front of the class.”

Well shit.

Feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank You.
Copyright © 2015 Drew Espinosa; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 34
  • Love 1
  • Haha 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this story. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new chapters.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments



Hunter Thomson

This is the kind of story I like reading. Not just the first person perspective, but the fact that you really delve into the thoughts and feelings of the narrative character. I think its really important to help build a real understanding of the protagonist's motivations and the underlying things that motivate characters, and your writing really encapsulates that for me.
Having said that, I really got a feel for the emotions and the terror you were feeling. It brought me back to my own first day of high school and how much smaller I was compared to all the other seniors. Being five years younger than them, it was difficult to imagine how to survive high school. I hope you continue on with this story sooner than later.

  • Love 1
Link to comment
Drew Espinosa
On 01/10/2016 03:20 PM, Hunter Thomson said:

This is the kind of story I like reading. Not just the first person perspective, but the fact that you really delve into the thoughts and feelings of the narrative character. I think its really important to help build a real understanding of the protagonist's motivations and the underlying things that motivate characters, and your writing really encapsulates that for me.

Having said that, I really got a feel for the emotions and the terror you were feeling. It brought me back to my own first day of high school and how much smaller I was compared to all the other seniors. Being five years younger than them, it was difficult to imagine how to survive high school. I hope you continue on with this story sooner than later.

Hey Hunter! :) Honestly, I was scared writing in First-person. I asked myself if I was doing it right or messing up somewhere. Which is odd for me, because from what I have read, most new authors prefer it since it's easier than Third-Person.

 

 

But, writing all those thoughts and feelings (especially fear) was easy for me, since I drew heavily from my own experiences.

 

 

Thank you for reading Hunter! :hug:

 

 

PS: And I promise that I'll continue this story.

  • Love 1
Link to comment
Geron Kees

Little disappointed that you didn't continue with this. Why not? Certainly cannot be from lack of encouragement. :)

  • Love 1
Link to comment
Mancunian

You really should come back and finish this story, as others have said you have talent. Stories that are autobiographical are some of the most interesting and better stories on GA, they can also be cathartic for the author helping to deal with issues and put them behind you, I'd love to see this finished and hope that you will.

Link to comment
Drew Espinosa
37 minutes ago, Mancunian said:

You really should come back and finish this story, as others have said you have talent. Stories that are autobiographical are some of the most interesting and better stories on GA, they can also be cathartic for the author helping to deal with issues and put them behind you, I'd love to see this finished and hope that you will.

I sometimes toy with the idea of coming back to finish this story, but self doubt creeps in quite easily. The main reason used to be  because I didn't think my writing style was good enough, even after more practice. Lately however, the reason is I don't think I can get into the teenage mindset to tell this story. It was easier to get into that mindset when I was 20, but 28? 

Sorry for being pessimistic, Man. I do appreciate your kind words, and I just need to work through my self doubts before I tackle writing more seriously.

Again, thank you! :hug:

  • Love 1
Link to comment
Mancunian
1 minute ago, Drew Espinosa said:

I sometimes toy with the idea of coming back to finish this story, but self doubt creeps in quite easily. The main reason used to be  because I didn't think my writing style was good enough, even after more practice. Lately however, the reason is I don't think I can get into the teenage mindset to tell this story. It was easier to get into that mindset when I was 20, but 28? 

Sorry for being pessimistic, Man. I do appreciate your kind words, and I just need to work through my self doubts before I tackle writing more seriously.

Again, thank you! :hug:

There is no need to apologise, you need to do what you feel is right for you. But remember, you do have talent. :hug:

Link to comment
Daddydavek
1 hour ago, Drew Espinosa said:

I sometimes toy with the idea of coming back to finish this story, but self doubt creeps in quite easily. The main reason used to be  because I didn't think my writing style was good enough, even after more practice. Lately however, the reason is I don't think I can get into the teenage mindset to tell this story. It was easier to get into that mindset when I was 20, but 28? 

Sorry for being pessimistic, Man. I do appreciate your kind words, and I just need to work through my self doubts before I tackle writing more seriously.

Again, thank you! :hug:

Well how about starting the next chapter flashing forward 5 or 10 years and pick up  there?

  • Love 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..