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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Quirky Poesy - 3. Eyes

Eyes

 

Eyes opened, joined it seems

unmistaken of what flows through.

I, then He realize.

 

He, then I recognize

neither can forestall this certain new

element in our dreams.

 

I, not He drown mid streams

of tears shed for fear become true.

He, not I closed our eyes.

Copyright © 2016 skinnydragon; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Parker Owens

Very interesting construction. The' He and I' back and forth plays beautifully. I like the images you evoked, too. Thanks for this poem!

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Lisa

Totally agree with Parker.

 

I was imagining the open eyes seeing love flow through them in the first stanza, but when I read the third stanza I felt sad. I took this stanza to mean that the narrator was crying because his fears of losing his love were coming true. It was very final, like death - the 'He' closed his eyes for the last time. Or, it could just mean that 'He' closed his eyes as a sort of rejection of the narrator, and that's why the narrator was crying, thinking his fears about losing 'He' came true.

 

Either way, the third stanza was very sad for me. :(

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Mikiesboy

I find this interesting. I'm not sure how I feel.. The beginning feels like a revelation and the end, feels like the end of something.
It's something i need to read and reread and think over...
tim

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skinnydragon
On 12/07/2015 08:12 AM, Parker Owens said:

Very interesting construction. The' He and I' back and forth plays beautifully. I like the images you evoked, too. Thanks for this poem!

Thanks for the comments Parker!

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skinnydragon
On 12/07/2015 01:40 PM, Lisa said:

Totally agree with Parker.

 

I was imagining the open eyes seeing love flow through them in the first stanza, but when I read the third stanza I felt sad. I took this stanza to mean that the narrator was crying because his fears of losing his love were coming true. It was very final, like death - the 'He' closed his eyes for the last time. Or, it could just mean that 'He' closed his eyes as a sort of rejection of the narrator, and that's why the narrator was crying, thinking his fears about losing 'He' came true.

 

Either way, the third stanza was very sad for me. :(

Thanks for the comments Lisa!

 

sorry to leave you sad

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skinnydragon
On 12/07/2015 02:57 PM, Mikiesboy said:

I find this interesting. I'm not sure how I feel.. The beginning feels like a revelation and the end, feels like the end of something.

It's something i need to read and reread and think over...

tim

Thanks for the comments tim!

 

I'm grateful you find it interesting!

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AC Benus

This is not a lengthy poem, and yet, it challenges. Perhaps you are painting with words the certain brand of uneasiness that comes when a relationship transitions from 'new' to the next stage.

 

If I am right, plz don't tell me :) I like 'challenges' in my poetry too.

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skinnydragon
On 03/15/2016 10:21 AM, AC Benus said:

This is not a lengthy poem, and yet, it challenges. Perhaps you are painting with words the certain brand of uneasiness that comes when a relationship transitions from 'new' to the next stage.

 

If I am right, plz don't tell me :) I like 'challenges' in my poetry too.

Thanks AC!

 

I'll not say anything ...haha.

 

Even though I'm certainly no poet, I enjoyed writing this - for some strange reason.

 

I don't know if I was "painting" or "playing" with my words. Sorta like playing with my food. :)

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Headstall

Sorry I missed these, skinny. This was about fear to me. Love is freaking scary, especially when you've been hurt... I felt that here... and yeah, I'm out of likes, but I'll be back ... cheers... Gary...

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skinnydragon
On 05/29/2016 12:13 AM, Headstall said:

Sorry I missed these, skinny. This was about fear to me. Love is freaking scary, especially when you've been hurt... I felt that here... and yeah, I'm out of likes, but I'll be back ... cheers... Gary...

Thanks Gary!

 

I can understand your interpretation. Love IS scary. :)

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Emi GS

It brought back the memory, where I was standing in the hall and seeing them both together with their pleasurable bond. The hurt I can never explain. And I never closed my eyes. Teared apart, vomited but never closed my eyes...

 

~Emi.

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skinnydragon
On 06/17/2016 04:02 PM, Emi GS said:

It brought back the memory, where I was standing in the hall and seeing them both together with their pleasurable bond. The hurt I can never explain. And I never closed my eyes. Teared apart, vomited but never closed my eyes...

 

~Emi.

Thanks Emi!

 

Eyes always provide such rich poetic possibilities, don't they?

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AC Benus
On Tuesday, March 15, 2016 at 8:33 AM, skinnydragon said:

Thanks AC!

 

I'll not say anything ...haha.

 

Even though I'm certainly no poet, I enjoyed writing this - for some strange reason.

 

I don't know if I was "painting" or "playing" with my words. Sorta like playing with my food. :)

Food fights are good :)

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