Mr. Brightside - 8. Chapter 8

Mr. Brightside

Chapter 8

Jason had been very upset at the end of his junior year when he found out that they were moving yet again to yet another small town. He had settled in at Holly Ridge High; although not really popular, he had made some friends, most importantly Shane. And now, now that he was finally comfortable in a school, his parents were moving again.

It made sense; his dad, a retired Air Force officer, had gotten an excellent job at the large community college in Bossier City; a much better position than the one that had brought his parents to Holly Ridge. His parents had also found some property in a small town about 45 minutes away from Bossier/Shreveport, a large enough acreage for the hobby farm of which his mother had long dreamed. And the farm was in an excellent school district; the local high school was large enough for a football team and an assortment of extracurricular activities, unlike the tiny Holly Ridge High.

And, Jason had to admit, he ended up having a really great senior year. By some divine act, he achieved almost instantaneous and overwhelming popularity at the new high school. He had made the football team, had acquired a girlfriend, and had attended every senior party worth attending. He had also experienced his first guy on guy experimentation with another football player; it had just been some fooling around, but Jason had found more exciting and satisfying than his fumblings with his girlfriend, though he tried not to dwell on that.

In fact, the only downside to the move was that his contact with Shane was limited to phone calls and texts for that year. However, even that downside was eased with the knowledge that they would be college roommates the following fall.

And the first quarter or so of their living together had been great. Their class schedules hadn’t been overwhelming, so there had been plenty of time for exploring the campus and the surrounding small town, for video games, and for endless conversations in their dorm room.

Also, there had been weekend trips to Shreveport to hang out with Shane’s older cousin, Paul, at his bachelor pad. Paul, who had been happy to supply his little cousin and his little cousin’s best friend with beer during their high school days, was even happier to party with his cousin and his cousin’s roommate now that they were in college and had even used his connections to supply Shane and Jason with fake I.D.s so they could go bar hopping.

It was during winter quarter, right before Christmas break, during one of these Shreveport trips that Jason had his first inkling that his feelings for Shane were more than just friendship. And worse, that those feelings were noticeable. He and Shane had come to Shreveport for a concert, planning to crash at Paul’s apartment.

When they got back from the concert, they found Paul had some visitors. Much beer drinking and video game playing had continued until Paul had retired to his bedroom and almost all of the visitors had left by the wee hours of the morning. One, however, a large and friendly guy nicknamed Jimbo had not; in fact, he had fallen asleep on the sofa, which meant both college boys had to sleep on the blowup mattress set up in the apartment’s dining nook, which was empty except for random pieces of exercise equipment and sporting goods.

Neither minded particularly, as tired as they both were, especially with the buzzes they had going. Somehow during the night in the chilly apartment, they ended up snuggled close together. Jason, who was drifting in and out of consciousness, was aware of how nice it felt to spoon with Shane during his periods of lucidity. And in fact, Jason was snuggled close to the blond, his arms around the still sleeping Shane, when he woke up the next day, disturbed by the sounds of someone rattling around in the kitchen.

That someone turned out to be Jimbo, who was looking for the necessary items to brew coffee.

“Sorry,” Jimbo said after he noticed Jason was awake. “I didn’t mean to wake you up; just needed a bit a of caffeine to get going this morning.”

“No problem,” Jason said, easing out of the makeshift bed in order not to wake Shane just yet. “We need to head back to school before too long.” He headed down the hall to the bathroom. When Jason had finished and entered the kitchen, Jimbo was pouring a cup of coffee.

“Do you want one?” Jimbo asked, gesturing toward Jason with the pot.

“Sure,” Jason answered. “Black.”

Jimbo pulled another mug out of the cabinet and poured the hot liquid. As he offered the mug to Jason he asked, “So how long have you two been dating?”

“What?” answered Jason, confused.

“You and Shane. How long have y’all been a couple?” Jimbo asked.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jason asked, flushing. He felt panicked, sick to his stomach.

“Dude, it’s okay,” Jimbo said. “My little brother’s gay, it’s no big deal.”

“I’m not gay,” snarled Jason through gritted teeth. “We’re not a couple, we’re just friends.”

“Okay, okay,’ said the other man, putting down his mug and throwing up hands. “Y’all just looked really close, guess my gaydar needs some fine tuning.”

“Whatever,” Jason said, sitting down his own mug. “I’m going to get dressed now,” he continued, grabbing his overnight bag and heading back toward the bathroom. Jason took a deliberately long time changing into fresh clothing, and was relieved that Jimbo was gone by the time he emerged.

Jason had debated whether or not to tell Shane, who had slept through it, about the exchange, but was unsure how the other boy would react, and Jason himself wasn’t sure he could pass it off as a funny anecdote. In fact, Jason was really unsettled by what had transpired. Is that what people thought about the two of them? Did other people think they were gay?

Jason was quiet enough on the drive back that Shane asked more than once if something was wrong; Jason denied any problem other than headache. But, for the first time since they had met, awkwardness and silence had entered their relationship.

For the rest of the school year, Jason found that he was distancing himself from Shane. It wasn’t entirely voluntary: each of the boys’ work load had required more time and had become more difficult, much more difficult in Jason’s case. And if all the study groups and tutoring sessions with other engineering majors weren’t absolutely mandatory, Jason really did need all the outside help he could get with his classes. And he made an effort to try dating, taking a couple of girls out....but none held his interest. At any rate, the long free nights and weekends spent hanging out during the fall quarter were a thing of the past.

Things changed a bit, though, as the end of the school year drew near. Both Jason and Shane had plans to spend the summers working in their perspective home towns, and with a 6+ hour round trip between, they were unlikely to see each other much until the next fall. Jason already missed hanging out with his friend and wasn’t looking forward to the summer apart.

Both freshmen had finished their final tests and assignments by Thursday of the last week of Spring Quarter, so they decided to spend the entire Friday hanging out together before leaving for their respective homes and summer jobs on Saturday.

They spent the morning packing and loading their cars, leaving only their bedding and a few other possessions in the room, Then the two spent the afternoon in the parish park, hiking through the woods, picnicking on the small beach, and swimming in the lake. Throughout the day, Jason had done a good job of keeping to his goal of not thinking about Shane as anything other than a friend, but that resolution was harder to keep when lying close to the other boy in the sand.

Jason couldn’t help stealing looks over at Shane, who lay sleeping in the late May sun, beads of water shining on his tawny skin like diamonds in the sun. Shane was so beautiful, Jason thought as he stared at him.

Maybe…..and this was a big maybe…...maybe if it was possible Shane felt something more than friendship, too,….could Jason do it? Could he be with a guy…..not just a hasty hookup in a deserted locker room, but something more serious? Would Jason be willing to actually date another dude? Openly?

Jason couldn’t really imagine being openly gay, not in this small, conservative Louisiana town. Hell, he couldn’t imagine be openly gay anywhere, but he also couldn’t imagine dating someone as special as Shane and keeping it a secret. Could he treat being with Shane like something to be ashamed of? Jason’s mind kept whirling, and he felt almost dizzy.

He fought the urge to tell Shane what he was thinking about; it would be so much better to keep his thoughts to himself. Jason reminded himself that summer break was only hours away, and three months apart, though he would miss Shane, would surely give Jason the space needed to overcome this madness.

This afternoon with Shane, more time than they had spent together at once since the night of the concert, this afternoon was the best one Jason could remember in a long time. As Jason looked at his friend, pondering what to do, Shane’s lids opened, and blue-green eyes focused on Jason’s own hazel ones. Shane smiled lazily.

“Hey,” Shane said.

“Uhhh...hey,” Jason replied startled.

“Whatcha looking at?”

“Nothing,” Jason said, rolling onto his back and pulling his cap over his eyes. “Today was nice.”

“You’re right. We should come here more often when we start school again. I hope we get to hang out more next year; I barely saw you this quarter.”

Abruptly Jason sat up. “I don’t want to talk about next year; let’s just worry about today or at least tonight. What do want to do later? Want to go to Sundown?”

“Nope. I’m not in the mood for a bar,” Shane said, sitting up and stretching. “ I think I want to stay in, watch movies, and order pizza. And besides, Paul gave me that bottle of Jack Daniels last time he came through. I’ve barely had any; and I don’t want to take it home. We can polish it off and get drunk for free.”

“Sounds good. We should probably head home, the park’s closing soon,” said Jason, getting up. He reached down to pull up Shane, and almost shuddered when his hand touched the other boy; it was almost like an electric shock had run through him. Jason involuntarily glanced at Shane’s eyes and didn’t know if he was more happy or frightened that there seemed to be an acknowledgement of the moment there. Still, neither boy said anything as they packed their gear and headed to the car.

They decided to pick up the pizza on the way back, and by the time they arrived at their dorm room, showered, and decided on a movie, an easy camaraderie was back. But still, Jason could sense something different in the air….not tension, not exactly, but something. He only knew he was very aware of Shane beside him.

Shane’s small tv and DVD player had already been packed, so they were watching the movie (they had decided on a Lord of the Rings mini-marathon) on Jason’s laptop. The two had started watching on the floor, each leaning against the bed, the laptop propped on a suitcase between them, but as the level of bourbon in the Jack Daniels bottle went down and the saga rolled on, they had gotten uncomfortable on the floor.

The pair, their shirts abandoned sometime after the Mines of Moria, ended up next each other on Jason’s bed. Jason couldn’t concentrate on the movie any longer, not with Shane’s warm shoulder pressed to his. To Jason’s horror, he could feel his cock harden.

“Umm….” Jason said, “I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.” He sat the laptop on the nightstand, and walked through the dark room, trying not to trip on the handful of items left. In the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face as he willed his erection to go down.

“You can do this,” Jason said to himself as he looked in the mirror. “You have less than 24 hours left. You can make it through this year without screwing up.” After a few minutes, he felt composed enough to go back into the room.

The moment Jason opened the door and came back into the room he could see the frown on Shane’s face, apparent even in the dim light of the street lamps filtering in through the open blinds. Something was bothering Shane.

“Are you okay” Jason asked, alarmed, as he walked back to his bed and the other boy.

“I’m fine,” Shane said. He sighed. “I’m just not looking forward to going home. My stepmother is not the easiest person to deal with, and nobody will be in town. I’ll be completely alone.” He looked up at Jason; Shane’s eyes, though shining even in the dim light, were huge, dark pools of sadness. “I’m really going to miss you. I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

Tears gathered in Shane’s eyes as he continued, “It’s going to be like senior year again….but this time I won’t even have Corey around….he’s going to summer session.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jason said, sitting back down beside Shane. The look of unhappiness on the blond’s face was breaking Jason’s heart. “Come here,” he said, and wrapped Shane in a hug. Jason almost shuddered at the contact of Shane’s bare skin against his own. Shane looked up at his roommate; their mouths were only inches from each other.

And then they were kissing. Too fuddled by the bourbon and the excitement, Jason could never remember who kissed whom, but he could never forget the feeling of touching his lips to Shane’s for the first time. The kiss started sweet and tender, their lips closed and barely touching, but it grew in heat and intensity as their mouths opened, and they tasted each other.

As the kissing continued, they found themselves laying down, arms wrapped around each other, bare chests pressed together, Jason being almost driven mad by the friction of his body hair against Shane’s smooth skin. Each felt the other’s arousal through thin pajamas, their groins grinding other. Finally, after what seemed like both an instant and an eternity, Shane pulled away.

“I..I...I..” he stammered, breathless. “I’m not sure…”

“Shhhh…” Jason whispered, breathless as well. “It’s okay. We can stop.”

“It’s just….” Shane trailed off.

“Shhhh….” Jason repeated, pulling Shane back into an embrace. He stroked Shane’s hair as the blond’s head settled on Jason’s hairy chest. And they slept.

The next morning, as soon as Jason awoke, even before his eyes opened, he knew something was wrong. It took a moment, especially considering the pounding in his head, for him to figure out the problem: he was alone in his bed.

“Shane,” he said as he gingerly sat up. A quick glance around confirmed that the room was empty, and that the rest of Shane’s things were gone. Jason noticed a sheet of paper on the other bed and a key.

Groaning at the effort, he arose, walked over to the other bed and picked up the note. His heart was beating a mile a minute, and he had a hollow feeling in his stomach that had nothing to do with last night’s bourbon as he steeled himself to read the note. That hollow feeling moved to his heart as he was the words written in Shane’s neat penmanship.

“Couldn’t sleep,” the note read. “Decided to get an early start and didn’t want to wake you. The R.A. said that you could check out for us both. I’ll call you later. Have a great summer. Shane.