die catfish, die. - 7. chase

I'm used to it by now.
Another day, just believe.
Just breathe. Just believe.
Just breathe. Lying in my bed,
Another day, staring at the ceiling.

Télépopmusik - Breathe [2001]

* * * * *

FrgJkb88: You put me in a bad mood.

DHG: I’m sorry, but we need to talk.

Eli shook his head and sat down, his mattress heaving under his weight with a light squeak.

FrgJkb88: I’m busy.

DHG: Turn on the news. He’s getting reckless.

Before Eli could reply, there came another message.

DHG: When can we meet?

Eli chewed on his bottom lip. He wasn’t going to risk being grounded longer, especially for this guy. But the doctor knew something.

FrgJkb88: Sunday. Maybe. I don’t know.

DHG: Reach out to me around 10 Sunday morning. We’ll talk then.

Eli hit the power button and fell back onto the bed clutching the phone to his chest and wondered what his place was in all of this.

Eli’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he jerked. With a little effort, he fished the phone from his jeans and stared at the screen, guessing that the number probably belonged to Chase. Eli hit the answer button.

“Hello?”

“It’s Chase. I’m leaving my house now. I’m walking, so I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Cool,” Eli said flatly. “I’ll see you in a few.” Suddenly, he hoped that his tone hadn’t carried through the phone.

The line went dead, and Eli tossed both phones to the side. “Shit,” he hissed, holding his hands over his eyes.

* * * * *

Chase flashed Eli a goofy grin as he pulled the door open. He was wearing his basketball shorts and a tee-shirt. He also had a backpack slung over his shoulder and a sleeping bag packed under his arm.

Eli scratched the side of his face. “Dude, we have plenty of blankets.”

“Oh. Well, you never know,” he said. “Thought I’d bring it in case.”

Eli gave him a half-hearted smile and held the screen door open for him. “Mom said she’ll come get us when she’s done with work so we can pick our own junk food. She said if she has to shop for us, it’s going to be nothing but celery and carrots.”

Chase stepped in and scoffed. “That’s okay.”

“What, carrots and celery?”

He looked down at Eli. “No, going to the store. It’s fine.”

“Come downstairs. I just got my PlayStation set up.”

Chase furrowed his brow. “Just?”

Eli felt himself blush. “I got it for my birthday a few weekends ago. I just never got around to hooking it up.”

“What, are you crazy?”

“I’m beginning to think so.” Eli pulled the door to the basement open and signaled Chase to go first. “But it’s sorta like my birthday all over again. You and I are going to be the first ones to open my new games.”

“What did you get?”

“Uhhh…” Eli scratched himself. He walked around the corner to the little cove where his entertainment center was. The nook was mostly filled with a huge couch—long enough that he could lay flat on his back in both directions. It was one of those couches that looked normal sitting up against the wall until you added the huge ottomans to the end.

“Fallout 4, The Division, Far Cry Primal, and it came with The Nathan Drake Collection.”

Chase glanced over his shoulder. “Those are mostly single-player games.”

Eli shrugged. “I’ll watch you play. I like watching other people play.” He used to watch Jacob play on his PS4, even though Jacob would often offer him the controller.

“I don’t know how good I’d be. My parents would have me exorcised for playing games like these. Joey has an Xbox, but I always have to watch. I’m okay if you want to play, though. It’s your birthday gift. You should have the first chance to try it out.”

“You’re my guest, and it’s just a video game. I can play it later.”

They stared at each other for a moment.

Finally, Eli broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

“I guess.”

“Why do you ignore me when Joey is around?”

Immediately, Chase’s gaze searched the carpet, his mouth moving but nothing coming out but vowels and random sputtering. He shut his eyes and sighed deeply. “I… Eli, I…”

Suddenly, a low rumbling noise filled the house.

Chase glanced around.

“Garage door. My mom must be home.” Eli nodded toward the staircase and offered his friend a smile.

* * * * *

The sun was hanging low in the sky when they returned home. The Lexus pulled to a stop in the garage, one of the brakes giving off a light squeak. Eli’s mom turned in her seat and looked at Eli. “Don’t forget your game.”

She popped open the center console and pulled out a game case wrapped in a GameStop bag; Eli had convinced her to stop by the game store so he could get something they could both play. He had drained the rest of his birthday earnings.

“Thanks for the nice dinner, Miss Bridges. You didn’t have to take us someplace that nice.”

She twisted around in her seat. “Chase, it was a Texas Roadhouse, not the country club.”

“Still, it was nice. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. I’ll be damned if I was going to let the two of you fill up on junk food without having a decent dinner first.”

Eli felt himself blush.

“You two have fun, but keep the noise down. I’m working on a deposition tonight, and I’ll probably be working pretty late.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Eli said quietly.

“You’re welcome, baby.” She popped the door open and slid out. “Put your snacks away before you go downstairs.”

Eli and Chase gathered up several grocery bags and took them to the kitchen. Eli pored through one of the sacks. “You want something now?”

Chase held his stomach. “I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything until tomorrow.”

“Well, you ate a pound of sirloin.”

“So did you. And you’re already hungry?”

“Not yet, but with this metabolism I’ll probably be snacking on something in an hour.”

Chase shrugged.

Eli shelved the last of the goods, put several candy bars into one of the bags, and nodded to the side. “Shall we?”

Chase nodded. “I’m warning you, I’m not good at fighting games,” he said as they walked down the steps.

“Good,” Eli said with a smile. “I’m not either.” He stopped and faced Chase.

Chase stared into Eli’s eyes. “I think that’s the first time you’ve really smiled tonight.”

Eli wondered if ol’ Doc Hague’s bad news had been showing through. He blushed and shuffled over to the couch, tossing the bags next to the TV set.

He turned back to Chase. “I think I’m going to get ready for bed before we start.”

Suddenly, Chase pulled his shirt over his head and threw it toward his backpack. He wasn’t fat or doughy, nor was he skinny or muscular. He didn’t have much definition on his torso, other than around his shoulders. His pecs were squared without being chiseled, nipples the size of dimes. He had a few light brown hairs below his belly button, but no trail to speak of. The band of his underwear peeked over his shorts; Eli found himself wondering if Adidas made comfortable underwear.

“There. I’m ready for bed.”

Eli raised an eyebrow, then nodded toward Chase’s feet. “You’re still wearing your shoes.”

With a sly grin, he kicked his shoes across the room. “There.”

“Okay, then.” Eli wondered if Chase was expecting him to strip down in front of him or something. He hitched his thumb toward the door across the basement. “My pj’s are in my room.”

Chase scoffed. “Your pj’s?”

Eli blushed. “Well, in the winter I just wear my gym shorts. They’re my favorite thing to wear.”

“What do you use at school, then?”

“I don’t have to do gym. Sports-induced asthma.”

Chase nodded, then suddenly knit his brow. “Wait. What do you wear in the summer?”

“If I have guests, probably my gym shorts. If not…” Eli shrugged. “I usually don’t wear anything.”

Chase’s face reddened. “Dude, what if your mom comes down here or something?”

“She knocks most of the time. It’s not like she hasn’t seen things.”

“You wouldn’t be embarrassed if she saw you?”

“Why would I be? You do realize how you entered the world, right?” Eli held out his hand, presenting the basement. “This is my apartment. I can wear what I want. A lot of the time, that’s nothing.”

“But, like, what if she came down and you were, like, spanking the monkey?”

“She’d get an eye-opener then, wouldn’t she?” Eli scoffed. “Dude, I don’t jack off out here unless I’m home alone, but even if I wasn’t here myself, I’d just cover up when I heard the door open. Besides, if I’m going to get handy with myself, it’s usually in my room.”

“Jesus. You’re not really phased by much, are you?” Chase sat on the edge of the couch.

“Should I be?” Eli pulled his new game out of the plastic sack and started unwrapping the cellophane cover. “Every guy jacks it, and if you tell me you don’t,” he raised his eyebrows, “then you’re straight up full of shit. Even the Mormon kids jack it. They probably do it more than anyone.”

“What makes you say that?”

“They’re so repressed and ashamed of everything, but you know they’ve got to be little spider monkeys.”

Chase laughed. “Whatever you say, man.”

Eli tossed the game at Chase. “Why don’t you get the game set up, and I’ll go get changed.”

He went to his room and stripped down. No sooner had he picked up his shorts, the door opened. Quickly, Eli covered his crotch with his shorts and glanced up.

“Dude, you haven’t even set up a user account on your PlayStation yet.” Chase peeked his head through the door. “I can’t install the game until…” They locked eyes.

Eli stood frozen.

Without saying a word, without even changing his wide-eyed, lop-lipped expression, Chase slowly backed out of the room and gently shut the door without so much as a noise.

Eli threw on his shorts and wondered if he should put on a shirt, but since his guest wasn’t, and since he normally didn’t, Eli opted out. As he usually did, Eli rolled the waistband of the shorts down twice and stepped out into the main area.

Chase was sitting back on the couch and glanced up at Eli as he drew near. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “I should have knocked.”

Eli snickered. “You should have seen the look on your face.”

Chase shot Eli a dirty look. “Mortal Kombat isn’t going to install itself.”

* * * * *

Light-blue light seeped into the basement through the window wells; it was always hard to tell what time of day it was in the basement.

Eli’s eyes flittered open and focused on the display of the old DVD player; it was already nine-fifteen. He lay still for a moment, finding himself the small spoon in a cuddle, with Chase’s arm slung across Eli’s hip. He could feel Chase’s breath down his neck, and his heart beating through his chest. His body was warm, almost hot, but not sweaty.

Eli couldn’t recall how they had ended up in this position; they had fallen asleep on the couch sometime after two in the morning, and they had crashed on nearly opposite ends of the sofa. What the shit is going on here? He wondered. Did I do this in my sleep? Do I move so he doesn’t think something happened? What if I wake him up? If I did this he’ll think…

A few of Chase’s fingers caressed Eli’s stomach, circling around his bellybutton.

What the hell are you doing?

After a few moments, Chase’s breathing changed, but he kept stroking Eli’s abdomen.

“Ummm, good morning,” he said softly.

“Hiiii,” Eli squeaked.

“You’re very… warm,” Chase said.

“So are you. I’m not mad or anything, but how did we end up like this?”

The stroking stopped. “I guess it was me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it weird.” He sighed. “Most of the time I sleep hugging a pillow.”

“Were you sleep-cuddling again?” Eli asked sarcastically.

“I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“There was a story in the news that said guys in England cuddle with their friends all the time.” Eli hesitated. “I guess it doesn’t really bother me.”

“If it doesn’t bother you, I guess it doesn’t bother me, either.”

“Um… You have soft hands.” Eli felt his face burn. He scrunched his face with instant regret. Why the fuck did I just say that!?

“Well, I sorta like your bellybutton.” Chase chuckled and started rubbing his knuckles across Eli’s stomach again, caressing his navel.

Is he messing with me now? “I’m fond of it, too.”

“It gets a bit cold down here at night. Maybe I was sleep-cuddling.” Chase seemed to pull Eli into him, very, very slightly. His hand shifted just a bit below Eli’s bellybutton.

Eli closed his eyes and took in the little high going through his body. “I’m gonna warn you, I’ve got some serious morning wood going on. If you go any further south, you might accidentally brush up against something.”

“It happens,” Chase said softly. His fingers, still gently rubbing circles, slowly traveled down Eli’s abdomen, until Chase was rubbing his knuckles back and forth along the band of Eli’s underwear, Chase’s lips parked just inches away from Eli’s ear.

Every hair on Eli’s arm stood on end, his skin breaking out into a fit of goosebumps.

Eli felt all five of the warm fingertips swirling around on his skin, until two of Chase’s fingers found their way over the bulge in Eli’s shorts, gently rubbing his length through the cloth.

He shut his eyes and let out a soft moan, wondering where this morning was going to take him. He began to move his hand down the back of his leg, hoping that he might be able to give Chase a caress in return.

The upstairs door shot open, funneling light down the short stairwell. His mother’s shadow danced in the light. “You boys awake?”

Chase sat bolt upright, pulling the blanket tightly around his shoulders.

Eli sighed with annoyance. “Yeah, Mom, we just woke up,” he called.

“Okay, I’ll have breakfast done in fifteen minutes.” The door shut, leaving them in the blue haze of the morning.

Eli, suddenly without a blanket, rolled over onto his back and looked up at Chase.

“You weren’t kidding.”

Eli blushed, covered his crotch and sat up. “Well, you know…” After adjusting himself, he glanced over. “It happens.”

Chase pulled the blanket over his head and brought it together under his chin. “You won’t tell anyone about this at school, will you?”

“Why would I?” He sprang to his feet and padded to the bathroom. “Hold on. Morning wood. Wicked piss.”

* * * * *

Eli and Chase walked slowly down the sidewalk.

“I can’t remember the last time I had a hot breakfast like that,” Chase said. “That was kinda cool.”

Eli shrugged. “Mom does it all the time when we have guests.”

He sighed. “Thank you.”

Eli glanced up at him. “For what?”

“Suggesting this. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.”

Eli nodded. “We all need a change once in a while.”

“You didn’t have to walk me home.” He grinned. “You know, I’m a big boy. I can handle myself.”

“I wanted to. First time shit’s felt normal in a while. And I had fun, too.” Eli blushed, the skin on his stomach tingling.

Chase dropped his head. “Eli… look…”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. About Jacob. I know you two were good friends and everything.”

Eli gathered his thoughts with a somber look on his face. “We should hang out again. Maybe next time we could go bowling or something.”

“Have you ever done laser tag?”

He smiled warmly. “Only once. I’d be down for that.”

“When?”

“Why don’t you decide? I don’t want to make Joey mad at you or anything.”

Chase sighed. “Yeah. Joey.” He shook his head.

“What’s wrong?”

He stopped on the sidewalk in front of his house and nodded forward. “Hey, thanks again.”

“Let me know when you want to hang out.”

There was a long moment as they stood and stared at each other.

Eli’s heart raced. “Why did you stop?”

Chase turned beet red. “Why do you think? Your mom could have come down.”

“She wouldn’t have.” Eli smiled. “She always respects my privacy, especially when I have visitors.”

“So, uh…” Chase trailed off.

“If I didn’t like it, I would have told you to stop.”

“I, um…” Chase scratched the side of his face. “You wanna come see my room?”

“Sounds cool.”

They walked toward the house. “My parents are home,” he said softly. “They don’t give me much privacy, though.”

Eli guessed that Chase had wanted to do more. There was a stirring in Eli’s tailbone, his brain racing through every possible scenario that could have played out had his mother not interrupted.

“Hey, look, we won’t be able to talk much at school. It’s just…” he trailed off as they made the turn up his driveway.

“What, because of Joey?”

“He’d say things about you, man. He’d be mean, and he wouldn’t like us hanging out.”

Eli stopped and held up his hand. “Wait a minute. You can be friends with whoever you want.”

“Whenever I do things with other people, he kinda loses it.”

“We could all hang out. I wouldn’t care.”

“Eli, you don’t understand. He’s…” He sighed. “Please. You don’t want to get mixed up with him. I really do want to be your friend, but he can’t know, or…” He sighed. “Please, just pretend you don’t know me at school. Just so he doesn’t get mad.”

Eli didn’t like feeling as if he’d been pushed into an ultimatum. He just nodded. “That’s fine. But you owe me next time we hang out.”

Chase showed him through the door. “Mom, I’m home.”

His mother came around the corner holding several large bras by their straps. She snapped her arm back and threw them down the hallway. “Chase! I didn’t know you were bringing someone over. You could have warned me.”

“Sorry. I was just going to show Eli something on my computer really quick.”

“Just keep it down if it’s going to be all three of you.”

“All three of us?” Chase cocked his head.

“Joseph’s been waiting in your room for about half an hour. He said you had plans. I was just about to call you.”

A worried look crossed Chase’s face.

“I know how loud Joseph can get,” she said to him quietly.

A voice came from the stairwell. “I thought that was you…” Joey stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up at them, giving Chase the look of death.

Eli backed up toward the door. “I’ll just catch you on Monday,” he said to Chase. “I don’t want to ruin your plans. Thanks for helping me with that assignment. It’ll help get Stockton off my butt for a while.” He gave Chase a little smile.

Chase looked lost. “Yeah, no worries.”

Eli showed himself out.