Shattering - 7. Chapter 7 - Heightening

“David, I still can’t believe that just happened,” Vicky remarked, still incredulous after David’s fifteen minute recount of his interview from hell.

 

He hadn’t wanted to even get started talking about it until they were well away from Globestar’s offices, but Vicky managed to badger him into it once they were on the subway. It felt claustrophobic talking about it on the train, but up here back in the open air he was getting over it. David held the door open for her and they entered Bar Volo. It was one of David’s favourite establishments. Great atmosphere, great craft beer, great food. We stood and waited to be seated. It was busier than we expected, but it was a Friday afternoon and of course people would be shirking off work to start the weekend on the right foot.

 

“They gave me something better than I hoped for in the end, right? I’m just trying to focus on that for now.”

 

Vicky sighed. “David, it was completely unprofessional.”

 

“You think I don’t know that?”

 

“No, of course you do. I just… Well, I can’t believe that happened from Alec and Laleh of all people. Well, Laleh anyway. I don’t know Alec nearly as well, but for someone they hired to be in a senior position to do something like that… I don’t know. If they were going to surprise you, they should have told you at the outset of the interview that it was for the manager position and not Santosh’s job. They should have asked you if you were interested in interviewing for that instead, and left you the option of saying no and interviewing for Santosh’s job.”

 

“You’re right about that.”

 

“What would you have done if they told you?”

 

“Eh… I probably would have freaked out, to be honest.”

 

“Enough to blow the interview?”

 

I swallowed. Yes, I probably would have, but I wasn’t going to admit it. “Look, Vicky, I’m willing to try and put it behind me. All it’s doing is getting me riled up again. I got the job and I just want to chill right now. I can decide if I want to hold a grudge later,” I said dismissively.

 

Vicky chuckled. “If you say so.”

 

A server came at that moment and sat us down at the end of the long bench seating with the tables for two spaced along it. I let Vicky take the bench seat since she didn’t like being jostled by any passers-by. Well, no one liked that, really, but I wouldn’t care much after a couple pints. A rather distinguished looking gentleman in a well-tailored navy suit was seated on the bench at the table to our left. His pint glass was nearing empty as while the one on the opposite side of his table was nearly full. The man seemed to be too preoccupied by the humongous list of the current beers on tap along the far wall to pay us notice. Vicky gave him a sideways glance and then met my gaze. She waggled her eyebrows a little with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 

“Don’t even,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

 

Vicky smirked. She was about to respond, probably with something utterly wicked, when the server came and asked us what we’d like to drink. I ordered a pint of a the Péché Mortel, an imperial coffee stout from the Dieu du ciel! Brewery in Montreal, while Vicky went for the Saint of Circumstance blonde ale from the Collective Arts brewery in Hamilton. I also ordered a charcuterie board with some grilled, pickled Shisito peppers and some smoked nuts on the side. Vicky decided to grab the rabbit terrine and some artisanal chocolates.

 

“Leave it to you to order the sausage and nuts!” she cackled as the server walked away.

 

“Bitch, please. Who orders artisanal chocolate with a blonde ale?”

 

Vicky stuck out her tongue, and was about to say something when her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh my God, hi Rain!”

 

My head whipped around to see the tall Estonian approaching our table, that soft and understated smile gracing his lips. Victoria jumped up and stepped around the table to glomp onto him with a vicious hug, eliciting a soft laugh from the tall man.

 

I stood up awkwardly, biting my lip. “Uh, hi Rain,” I mumbled. His smile widened just a flicker and he shook my hand, which had suddenly become a little shaky again. I shivered just the barest amount.

 

“Tervist, David! Kuidas läheb?”1

 

I found myself smiling gently, the lilt of his language bringing back warm memories of my grandmother’s greetings. “Minul läheb hästi, Aitäh. Aga Sinul?”2

 

“I’m well,” he responded, switching to English for Vicky’s sake.

 

“Rain?” the man at the table next to us asked awkwardly.

 

“Oh! My apologies Adam, these are friends of mine - Victoria Collins and David Templeton. David and Victoria, this is Adam Thorncliffe, a business associate of mine.”

 

“Pleased to meet you,” I greeted.

 

“Yes, nice to meet you,” Vicky echoed. “If you two are busy, don’t mind us. We can find another table,” she offered. “We really do not want to be a distraction.”

 

“Actually, I need to get going. I have to pick up my daughter from daycare, so it’s probably better that I stick to the one beer this afternoon,” Adam deferred. He stood and turned to clasp Rain’s hand. “It was a pleasure as always, Rain. I’ll be in touch about the new project. Cheers!”

 

“See you soon, Adam,” Rain replied, nodding his head slightly.

 

“Well big man, are you still busy?” Vicky asked, smiling sweetly and batting her eyes.

 

Rain chuckled at her manner. “It looks as though I am finished for the day now.”

 

“Then have a seat! We’re celebrating David returning to Globestar and getting a promotion at the same time!”

 

Rain’s smile widened and his hand clasped my shoulder. “A promotion too? A little bird told me they were interviewing you, but not about a promotion. That is wonderful news! Have you ordered drinks yet? The next round is on me.”

 

“Thanks Rain!” I said and we sat down. Rain pushed the table he’d been seated at against ours so there was enough space and slid down onto the bench seat next to Vicky. Thank God for that. I really, really didn’t want to deal with him sitting right next to me.

 

“So Laleh told you that they were going to be interviewing David?” Victoria asked, an eyebrow raised slightly. Inquisition mode, activated!

 

“Yes, on Wednesday night at dinner.”

 

“Did she say anything to make you think they’d spring something on David in the middle of the interview?”

 

Rain shook his head. “Not that I could tell. She just asked if I had talked to you at all since the party, David, and when I asked her why she told me they had called you.”

 

“Vicky, leave him alone. It’s water under the bridge, and I don’t feel like sitting through one of your cross-examinations right now,” I insisted. Seriously, sometimes I wonder why the woman hadn’t become a lawyer. Even Mike admitted she was talented at getting information out of people even when they were resistant.

 

“I’m just curious,” Vicky retorted, feigning demure innocence.

 

Rain’s forehead wrinkled slightly. “Curious about what?”

 

I sighed, and then proceeded to explain to Rain what had happened during the interview. For the second time that hour, I could feel my blood pressure rising. His expression morphed from confused to a level of vague disbelief.

 

“David, that’s unbelievable that they would have… I’ve never, ever heard of that happening during job interviews before. Even if you are a known quantity and the two of them consider you a friend that interview was well outside the bounds of professionality. I can’t believe that Laleh would…” Rain sighed, shaking his head. “No, maybe I could. That woman is a free spirit if I’ve ever met one. Perhaps her quirky sense of humour is something that can get her into trouble. Laleh and I might be together, but I’m not going to defend her. This is seriously disappointing.”

 

“Alright, can we stop talking about this now? I came here to celebrate, not vent.”

 

Rain smiled. “Not a problem, David.”

 

The server returned with our food order at that moment and we ordered another round of drinks. Rain insisted on paying for it. The charcuterie was delicious as always. Vicky and I both shared a bit of our food with Rain. He protested at first but eventually gave in.

 

Our discussion turned to lighter things, first an update on Vicky and Mark’s blossoming relationship and then on to Rain’s recent trip to Niagara Falls with Laleh. Rain felt that it was a beautiful place, but found the touristy garbage that surrounded it trying. Laleh was of an opposite mind, though, so they’d ended up doing a lot more of that stuff than he would have liked. They stayed at the Tower Hotel, which was expensive but at least the view was nice. They did the Revolving Restaurant at the top of the Skylon Tower - again, expensive but the view was nice. They hit up the casinos, but Rain has trouble having fun in those places because one of his uncles had a gambling addiction. His parents and other family members had gone into debt bailing him out until they finally had enough and left him to wallow until he got professional help. Really, the only activities that really stood out for Rain was the fun they had in the wax museums and the trip on the Maid of the Mists to the base of the Falls. They were supposed to do the tunnel system as well, but Laleh wasn’t feeling up to it after they got drenched by all the water vapour on the boat ride. Rain admitted he got pretty annoyed at the time, and felt silly about it now. He said he did his best to keep it contained, and he got the impression that Laleh just thought he was as miserable as she was from being soaked. Rain said he’d budgeted for a lot of the big things - the hotel, the Skylon visit, the Maid of the Mists - but all of the extras started to get a bit much.

 

I totally agreed with Rain about most of his complaints about the Falls. Heck, even Mike, who was probably the more sappy with the romance in our relationship, didn’t particularly like the cheesy, touristy bullshit that had taken over the area. We’d only been back once after our first time there, and that was only because Mike’s aunt and uncle who lived out in Alberta were in town. We escorted them there before they headed southwest to London to visit with Mike’s parents and grandmother. We had a good time but that’s mostly because his aunt and uncle are a walking two-person comedy act.

 

Rain had become much more subdued as the conversation went on. At first I thought it was just because he wasn’t as happy as he’d wished with that recent trip, but it just kind of stayed that way as we moved on and Vicky started talking about a new gardening project she was helping some elderly woman in her neighbourhood complete. Even with Vicky’s animated descriptions of her vision and some of the quirks of the woman she was helping, Rain seemed content to mostly let Vicky and I do the talking. Where had the confident, engaging, and flirty man I met at the party gone?

 

That didn’t mean my attraction had disappeared, though. Every time my eyes met his, I had this moment where it was all I could do to keep my brain on track of the conversation. Every one of those small, subtle smiles still pulled at me. Christ, maybe it would have been better if he sat next to me after all, so the fact that I was avoiding looking him in the eyes much wouldn’t seem quite as awkward. Still, I couldn’t help but feel comfortable around him. How is it possible to feel comfortable but still feel like you can’t look at someone for fear of losing yourself?

 

“David? Have you made any headway on finding someone to play racquetball with or a league?” Vicky asked, pulling me back out of my thoughts.

 

I perked up. “Oh! Yeah, I haven’t really made time to look into it yet, Vicky. I’d still like to see if I can fit it back into my schedule at some point.”

 

“You play racquetball, David?” Rain looked intrigued. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable under his gaze with his attention focused straight on me.

 

“Uh… well… Yeah, I mean… I used to. I started in college with my best friend Brady, but kinda fell out of the habit when… well, he moved to Vancouver and he was the only guy I really played against. I need to start doing more for my fitness, but Mike’s been so busy with work… well, I guess I just wanted something I like to play already to get me out of the house a bit more. It’s not as much of an issue now that I’ll be back working at Globestar full time, but I’d still like to pick it up again.”

 

Rain smiled that soft smile he always gave me. “Would you be interested in playing with me?”

 

“You play racquetball? I thought it was only really popular in English speaking countries, and a handful of other places in western Europe and the Americas.”

 

“My mentor at the company I previously worked for was an avid racquetball player. He taught me how to play as part of our weekly ‘bonding’ sessions. I’ve thought about joining a league a few times but never really picked it up after I moved to my current job.”

 

I nodded, daring to make eye contact. “So we’d both be just as rusty, eh?”

 

“I may need some coaching, since it seems you played much longer than I did,” Rain replied, and then the sides of his mouth curled upwards slightly but smugly. His eyes were twinkling with mischief. “I’m sure I could learn a lot from your technique.”

 

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt a blush creeping up my face. I looked away, then quickly stood up and excused myself to the men’s room. Jesus Christ, David! Get a grip! He’s straight, and seems to just get flirty when he’s drinking. That had to be it. He’d had at least one pint before we arrived, perhaps two. He was on his third beer since he sad down with us, and the brews he’d been choosing had all been on the stronger end alcohol-wise. So that was all it was - he was one of those secure straight guys who will flirt with anyone with legs once they get a good buzz on. He’ll probably be flirting shamelessly with Victoria when I get back out there, too.

 

I used the urinal - might as well take advantage of the fact that I’m in here, anyway. As I washed my hands afterwards, I looked up at myself in the mirror. Is this me? Is this really my life? Spending my days feeling inadequate - not good enough for my job, for my best friend, for my partner, for everything? Overreacting to every little uncomfortable thing that comes along? Like the interview this afternoon? Like this stupid flirty little kidding around of Rain’s?

 

Is this really my life? Making a fool out of myself at every turn?

 

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before shutting the taps and drying my hands. I left the men’s room, willing myself to be stronger and happier and relaxed and all those things I should be but wouldn’t let myself. Not any more, though. This was my day, and I earned it.

 

As I walked back to the table, I saw Laleh came through the door. She was obviously here to meet Rain. I bit my lip and continued back. She didn’t notice my presence until we were both just arriving at the table. Her eyes widened and she stiffened.

 

“Uh… Oh, hi David.”

 

“Laleh,” I acknowledged her with a brief nod of my head.

 

I sat back down on my chair as Rain stood, drew her into an embrace and gave her a lingering kiss. Laleh giggled a little and kissed him again. When Rain released her she turned back to me.

 

“David, I just want you to know how sorry I am for today. I don’t know what I was thinking, and I just-”

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” I cut her off, waving a hand. “Look, it worked out in the end for all of us, so let’s leave it at that,” I elaborated, perhaps a little testily.

 

She bit her lip and nodded.

 

“Are you going to sit down with us?” Victoria asked.

 

“Ah, no, we actually need to be going,” Rain said apologetically, catching my eyes again.

 

“Yeah, we are having dinner with my parents tonight,” Laleh added. “My mother is a very kind woman - until you are late for dinner,” she explained, laughing a touch uncomfortably.

 

“Ooooo! Taking Rain to meet the parents? Pretty big deal, huh?” Victoria jibed.

 

A smile erupted on Laleh’s face, although Rain looked much more neutral.

 

“Yeah, it's his first time. Rain doesn’t know what he has in store for him. I’m glad he’s gotten a few beers in him with you guys, since he’s going to need it, especially if my father wants to head into the den and talk to Rain alone for a bit.”

 

Rain caught my eyes. It felt like he was almost pleading with me, though the expression he bore on the rest of his face was his usual subtle smile.

 

“Well, enjoy the meal,” I stated, tearing my eyes away from his gaze.

 

“It’s going to be wonderful! Alright, bye David. Bye Vicky. I’ll see you guys at work on Monday!”

 

Oh yeah. Because I was working on Globestar projects at the moment anyway, they wanted me to start after the weekend. There was part of me that wanted another week just to prepare myself emotionally for the return, but I figure I’d probably would feel the same after a week’s time anyway.

 

“Head aega,3 David, Victoria,” Rain said, giving us one final soft smile. He and Laleh turned and headed for the door. Suddenly Rain stiffened and turned back towards us.

 

“Oh! What time should I come over tomorrow, David?”

 

Uh, what?

 

Rain must have noticed my dumbfounded look, and frowned slightly. “Mike didn’t tell me what time he wanted me to come over. We were supposed to nerd out over comics for a bit before the others arrive.”

 

My continued dumbfounded expression must have clued him into something, because I had no fucking clue what he was talking about.

 

“Kurat,”4 Rain swore under his breath, wiping a hand down his face. “I have a feeling that someone forgot to inform me that this gathering was to be a surprise.”

 

I bristled. Another fucking surprise? What the hell was up with people and their goddamned surprises today?! And Mike was talking to Rain? How the long has this been going on?

 

Vicky let out a sigh. “Yeah, pretty much. Mark will be there too, David. Mike wanted to have a party for you getting the job, or just a guy’s day in with the hockey game if things didn’t work out.”

 

I was stunned. Mike wanted to… he wanted to celebrate? He’d been planning this?

 

Vicky smiled at me. “Sorry we ruined it for you, David.”

 

“Indeed, you have my apologies David.”

 

I smiled wanly. “Don’t worry about it. I just can’t believe he’s planned this. I mean, when has he had the time to…” I swallowed, a lump in my throat forming as my eyes misted a bit.

 

Oh Mike…

 

Rain gave me that soft, subtle smile of his and clasped a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll ring you guys in the morning. It was good to see you, Victoria. Homme näeme,5 David.”

 

Rain returned to Laleh’s side. She gave us a wave before taking his arm and exiting the bar.

 

I exhaled slowly, then looked over at Victoria. She had this pensive look on her face, examining me.

 

“What?”

 

She shook her head, looking away. “It’s nothing.”

 

I raised my eyebrow. “Nothing?”

 

Vicky rolled her eyes, and then flagged down the server. She asked for the bill, insisting that she was treating me. Rain had already slipped her some money for the rounds he paid for while I was in the washroom.

 

We were quiet as we walked up Yonge to get on the subway’s westbound Bloor line. I could tell the wheels were turning in Vicky’s head. As we headed into the station some idle chit-chat resumed, whatever was bothering her seemingly forgotten. Of course, since it was getting close to the beginning of rush hour the train was busy and we were stuck standing. Not that it’s a big deal, really, but I was feeling the effects of the three pints I drank this afternoon.

 

When we got off the train at Royal York, Vicky fell silent again. As we walked out into the late afternoon sun, I stopped and crossed my arms.

 

“Okay, Vicky. What’s up?”

 

She took a breath, smiling weakly. She looked like she was weighing whether or not to say something. She shook her head and looked down, starting to walk again.

 

“You really are attracted to him, aren’t you?” she asked.

 

“Who, Rain?”

 

She chuckled. “What would you say if I told you I was going to say Mike?”

 

I paused, a wave of discomfort passing over me. Then again…

 

“I think asking if you meant Rain would be the natural response, since we just spent a couple hours with him and Mike is AWOL as usual,” I remarked dryly.

 

Vicky smiled and shook her head. “You are dodging the question, David. Maybe I should just make it a statement. You feel something for Rain.”

 

“I do not.”

 

Victoria stopped. “David,” she berated, giving me the look she used whenever she was calling me on my bullshit.

 

“Okay, fine. He’s attractive.”

 

“Not just attractive. You have feelings for him.”

 

I let my head fall back and I looked skyward. I could not have feelings for him. I would not have feelings for him. I don’t need him. I have Mike, my partner, my soulmate. Rain is just some hunky straight foreigner with beautiful eyes, a mysterious smile, a flirty personality when he’s drunk and-

 

“God, David! Will you just admit it already?”

 

I cringed. “Okay, fine. So I have a stupid little crush on Mr. Straightboy. So what? I feel stupid about it, but it’s perfectly normal for anyone in a longterm relationship to have attractions to other people here and there. I love Mike, though. I love him so much. I would never, ever do something to jeopardize our relationship. We have a future, building a family and growing old together. It’s something I want so desperately. Something we both want.”

 

Vicky nodded, smiling warmly. She sniffed, wiping at her eyes with one hand. Wait, was she getting weepy?

 

“That’s so beautiful, David. So amazing. Your devotion to him, to each other… When I see the two of you together I’m envious of the love you share. I agree with you that it’s beyond unrealistic to think that there is only one person out there that could be a good match, or only one person with whom you’ll have powerful chemistry, but the ones who commit and stick by you through everything are incredibly difficult to find. I know that all too well.”

 

“But you have Mark now, and he’s a keeper,” I reminded her.

 

Vicky laughed. “You’re right about that. I still can’t believe how it all feels… I can’t even describe it, but I think you know exactly where I’m coming from.”

 

We stopped walking. It was time to part ways. Vicky pulled me into a tight hug.

 

“Congratulations again, David. I’m so excited that you’re going to be back around the office again. I know I’m the social butterfly and can talk to just about anyone there, but it hasn’t been the same since you left. I’ve really missed you.”

 

“Me too, Vicky. Well, take care.”

 

She smiled. “You too.”

 

As I finished the remainder of my walk home I found myself thinking about Rain again, and what Vicky had pointed out. I snorted. It was ridiculous, this whole thing. Thank God that boy is with Laleh. He is a temptation, straight or not. I can’t deny that. Tomorrow should be interesting. The dynamic between Rain and Mike would be… well, what would it be? The last time they spent together - which was at Vicky’s party as far as I knew - was an excited glee of comic book geekery. Well, it was until Rain walked away and Mike morphed into the Green Eyed Monster. I only hope that the atmosphere between them tomorrow will be more of the former rather than the latter. I don’t want to have to deal with that ever again.

 

I sighed as I walked up to the house. The car was gone and there were no lights on. Mike was not home. I wanted to go out for dinner with him, with my partner, to celebrate. I wanted to fucking celebrate getting my job back with a promotion. Why hasn’t he texted me yet? Why hasn’t he called me? I deserve a response. I deserve some private celebration, just the two of us. I sent him another set of texts as I walked in the door. I walked upstairs into the bedroom and changed into something comfortable to wear until we decided where we were going for dinner. I could change into something appropriate then. After another ten minutes passed and there was still no response to my texts I called his cell phone. It went to voicemail. I left him a message, asking him to call me as soon as possible and let me know when he expected to be home. He could be on his way already, I rationalized. If he was driving, he wouldn’t be able to text and if he was tired he may have forgotten to turn his bluetooth interface on, right? I grabbed a glass of water and then plopped down in front of the TV.

 

Almost an hour later, it was going on six o’clock and Mike still hadn’t showed up at home, nor responded to my messages. I called him on his cell phone again. Voicemail. I called his landline at work. Fucking voicemail!

 

I threw my phone down onto the couch and stomped upstairs. I was done waiting. I changed into something classy but not overstated and headed out. I decided on the Indie Alehouse up in The Junction. Great place. I wolfed down the unholy awesomeness that is their Southern Fried Chicken while I imbibed another three pints. I took a cab home because I was feeling more than a little tipsy at that point.

 

Guess what? I arrived home to an empty house, again. Where the fuck was Mike? It was almost nine o’clock! I stomped upstairs, fuming. I changed into my PJs and then stumbled back down the stairs. I grabbed an afghan and a full snifter of cognac and bundled myself up in front of the TV. It was mind-numbing, but at least it gave me some noise to take up all the empty space. I reached for the remote control, but realized the object I picked up was my cellphone. No messages. It was in that moment that my anxiety kicked in. Suddenly I started to worry. What if Mike had an accident? What if he’d been on the way home and something happened? What if something happened and they’ve missed getting in touch with me somehow?

 

Oh God!

 

At that very moment the front door opened, accompanied by swearing and the sound of keys being dropped. Mike was home.

 

Before I knew what I was doing I was standing in front of him, furious, as he struggled to get off his shoes. The look on his face when he turned up to look at me? I blew up.

 

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

 

“I don’t want to hear it.” Mike stomped away, carrying his briefcase with him into his office.

 

I followed on his heels. “You are damn well going to hear it!”

 

“What do you fucking want from me, David?”

 

“I want a partner who gives a damn about what’s happening in my life!”

 

“I do give a damn, and you goddamn know it!”

 

“You sure as hell don’t know how to show it, then! Why didn’t you wake me up this morning before you left?”

 

“I told you last night! I had depositions I had to take all fucking day, starting super early and I needed to get into the office at least an hour before hand to get things sorted out. I didn't have time for anything this morning, not even the gym. That’s why we talked last night, why we made love, and why I left you to sleep in! I wanted you to start the day on the right foot, with a good night’s rest!”

 

“On the right foot? And you didn’t stop to think that I might need to see you, to hear your voice, to get a kiss goodbye before I went in?”

 

“What can I say? I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m sorry.”

 

“You sure as hell don’t sound sorry.”

 

“What the hell do you want me to do, David?”

 

“You can start by answering your goddamn phone for once, or at least responding to my fucking texts and voice messages! I’ve been trying to get through to you all day since my interview finished.”

 

“I was in that part of the building with shitty reception, and my cell phone died before the regular work day was done, let alone the goddamned four hour meeting I got dragged into just as I was about to call it a day, completely against my will.”

 

“Your cell phone keeps dying like this, and yet you never take up my suggestion that you get a second charger for it to keep at the office. You don’t care because it’s just so goddamned convenient for you when it dies, isn’t it?”

 

“You’re goddamn right it is! I’ve got enough goddamn stress dealing with my stupid boss and all the bullshit and hoops and extra hours and everything I have to do without the support I need all because he’s an asshole and I’m never going to make it anywhere in this company if I don’t do what he expects me to do and I need to keep this shit up! I don't need to deal with you hounding and harassing me with constant texts and calls and voicemails too! I’m working hard, so goddamned hard to support the two of us so you could be okay, have a break, and not worry about whether or not you were making enough money with the contracts!”

 

“Bullshit! Even with me only working contracts, it should have been clear by now that we are still doing more than okay financially even if my income was cut in half. It was still enough for us both to be happy and comfortable. We don’t need you working a bunch of bullshit overtime that you aren’t being paid for! Oh, and newsflash, I got the job. And by the way, I got a fucking promotion too, so you can take all this goddamned overtime and tell your boss to shove it up his ass! Or do you not even have the balls to do that?”

 

“That’s not how it works, David, I can’t just-”

 

“No. You are either going to be reasonable and invested in our relationship or we need to have a serious talk about where things are going after eight years together.”

 

I turned on my heel and walked into the kitchen, coming to a stop in front of the sink. I gripped the counter so hard my knuckles were turning white. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t deal with him right now. I was furious and sad and anxious and depressed... and I was drunk. If I stayed there any longer, I was going to say something I regretted.

 

“What should we have for dinner?” Mike’s voice asked softly, contritely, from the door to the kitchen.

 

Rage. All I felt was rage.

 

Magnets flew everywhere as I ripped a bunch of take-out flyers off the fridge door, stormed over to him and threw the ratty menus in his face.

 

“Figure it out. I already fucking ate.”

 

I pushed him out of the way and stomped up the stairs, slamming the of our bedroom shut behind me.

 

To think that earlier I thought this was a good day.