Shattering - 4. Chapter 4 - Hangover

I moaned. My bladder was fit to burst, and my head was pounding. At least I was snuggled up onto a nice pillow. I nice, warm, two lobed pillow that-

My eyes popped open and I jerked away. I brought my hand up to my face. Danielle’s breasts were surprisingly soft. We were on the sofa bed in Victoria’s living room with Caleb curled up to spoon her from behind. The two of them looked adorable, but I’m glad I was the first one to awaken. Danielle didn’t even stir when I jolted off of her. How did I get in that position, anyway? I don’t usually turn over in my sleep and I’m pretty sure I was sleeping pointed away from her. Ugh, whatever. I really needed to piss. And take some ibuprofen. And get the feeling of soft lady-bits off of my face. Blargh. I dragged myself over to the bathroom, but stopped when I heard what sounded like Bobby puking up his entire digestive tract, intestines and all, into the deep porcelain bowl. Poor guy, I told him he didn’t want to take those last five shots with Brian.

I looked around as I trudged over to the stairs, this time paying more attention to my surroundings. The first floor wasn’t nearly as wrecked as I thought it would be, given how crazy last night got. I still can’t believe no one here was below the age of thirty. We were rowdy, so much so that I’m surprised there wasn’t a noise complaint from Victoria’s old battleaxe of a next door neighbour. My head started pounding a little more as I climbed the stairs but it was bearable and didn’t really bring on any more nausea than I was already feeling. The door to the guest room at the top of the stairs was open, with the bed in plain sight. It was a wreck, but amongst the mess of sheets the morning light was streaming down onto the naked bodies of Alec and Chris from the large east-facing window. I smiled and shook my head. Chris wasn’t a relationship sort of guy, at least he hadn’t ever been one yet. Hopefully the two of them were at on the same page, whatever it might be. I shut the door for their privacy’s sake and moved to the bathroom.

I let out a sigh as my stream of piss flooded out of me and hit the water. Yeah, it was pretty well just as colourless as you’d expect after consuming that much alcohol. Oh, and there was also the bottles of water I slugged back before I crashed for the night, and the quickly ensuing piss took in hope that I’d be able to flush most of it out and not be hurting too badly this morning. Even if it hadn’t done much to prevent my current headache, I probably should be feeling much worse. I shook my dick of the last drops of urine, wiped it clean with a sheet of toilet paper and then flushed. After washing my hands, I splashed a little water on my face to get at least a little of the crusty feeling off me. I opened the medicine cabinet to get out the ibuprofen I knew Vicky kept there for guests. I took a couple liqui-gels and chased them with a big glass of water. Shit, I wonder when Vicky washed this glass last? I probably didn’t want to think about that. She used the en suite in her bedroom, anyway, so could I really blame her if she was neglecting this room? Sighing, I turned to go back into the hall. It really wasn’t worth thinking about right now.

As I reached the stairs, the door to the master bedroom opened and Mark came out, dragging his feet. His hair was a complete mess, and he looked only half-awake. He came to a halt when he saw me. I raised an eyebrow and he flashed a bleary but content grin.

It happened. Finally.

“Morning,” he greeted me, his voice a bit hoarse.

“Morning,” I replied, my own voice scratchy. We started down the stairs.

“You up for some grub? I’m gonna get started in a minute once I figure out where Vicky put the breakfast groceries.”

I shook my head, sighing. “They are probably in the spare fridge in the basement. I’m sorely tempted to stay, but I gotta get home.” I knew from experience that Mark could whip up one hell of a greasy, post-party breakfast.

“Yeah, you don’t want the little wife to worry too much, eh?” he kidded.

I rolled my eyes. Mike was anything but the worrying housewife type. “How’s Vicky?”

“She’s actually doing pretty good. She has a liver of steel, doesn’t she? No puking as of yet, and she didn’t seem to have much of a headache either when she woke up with me a few minutes ago. Just tired. I still can’t believe she cut herself off when she did without anyone else prompting her.”

“Well, I have a theory that she was only drinking as much as she thought she could get away with and still be able to have the desired impact on a certain someone. Did something good come of her efforts?” I needled, wagging my eyebrows.

Mark blushed, looking away. “Maybe.”

“I’m glad for you guys,” I murmured, giving him a smile that made my face hurt. Goddamned headache, I deserve you but I hate you anyway. “Just… be careful with her, Mark. She’s not as strong and put-together as she lets on, and if this was only something brought on in the heat of the moment...”

Mark looked at me soberly. “I know, David. You might not believe it, but I’m not exactly put together myself. Not on the inside. I’ve been single for so long… I don’t know. You know me, I just don’t put myself out there and I’m too picky to a fault. But maybe the truth is that I’ve just been waiting. Vicky and I have been talking a lot more lately. More her calling me. Well, at first that’s how things were. Last night was just something a long time coming, and it was anything but a one night stand to me. I have a feeling you already know that, though.”

I smiled. “Yup. We’ve known each other for four years now, Mark, and Vicky has always talked differently about you compared to other guys. She’s never admitted it, but I think she’s wanted to be with you for a long time.”

“Yeah, she told me that last night. I’ve felt the same way, but she just… She always seemed to be dating one guy after another, and none of them anything like me. And for a quiet guy like me, Vicky can be pretty intimidating.”

I chuckled. Mark was totally the ‘gentle giant’ type. About 6’4”, chestnut hair, cheerful green eyes, and still on the muscular side from his days playing hockey in university. His high school coaches must have had hated him for not liking basketball and volleyball. Mark was the type of guy who would socialize, but liked to stand back and observe what was going on around him. When he spoke, he spoke carefully and meant what he said. All in all, he was a guy I wholeheartedly respected, even if he was an insurance agent.

“I think things will be just fine between the two of you. Just be patient with one another.”

He nodded, smiling softly. “I’m good at that.”

I patted his shoulder. “I know, buddy. That’s one of the reasons you two will be good for one another. You’ll be the brakes for her gas pedal,” I said. “Okay, I’ve gotta go. Tell Vicky I’m just going to leave my bar stuff here and come by for it tomorrow. I don’t even want to think about alcohol right now, let alone go look at the disaster area that the bar must be. Not with this fucking headache.”

“Sure, no problem,” Mark replied, chuckling. He then surprised me by suddenly pulling me into a big hug. Mark wasn’t usually very demonstrative. “Thanks David.”

“For what?”

“For being a great bartender and helping us all have a good time last night. And more than that, for being Vicky’s support network all these years,” he murmured as he released me.

“She’s one of my best friends, Mark. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I’m glad. That probably sounds a little strange to be thanking you for that right now, but… Well, it’s come up in some of my chats with Vicky and I know you’ve helped her get through some tough times. You are truly special to her. Anyway, the kitchen is calling. I’ll see you later. I have a feeling I’ll be staying to clean up and maybe tonight too. Would you and Mike be up for some brunch with us tomorrow?”

“I can’t speak for Mike, but I’d love to buddy. Text me later and I’ll let you know.”

“Sounds good,” he said with a nod, but then sighed. “Now to deal with these drunks.”

“Yup, have fun with the slugs!” I snickered, heading out.

“See ya later, David.”

The daylight was bright in my eyes. Not so bright that it was unbearably painful, but definitely a little overwhelming and brought up a brief wave of nausea. I suppressed a small groan and considered hiring an Uber for a moment, but decided to walk in the end. It would do me some good, help get the blood flowing and the remnants of last night’s debauchery out of my system. I felt a bit stupid walking around in this tight Robin costume in broad daylight, but whatever. I got a couple weird looks from some nosey neighbourhood biddies and a few giggles from kids playing in their front yards, but once I got moving I was a little beyond caring. It looked like today was going to be a beautiful day, even if I wasn’t sure what my day was going to look like after I got back to our place.

Mike had texted me last night, first to tell me he was leaving after all and then to let me know he’d got home safe. He told me to stay at Vicky’s if I had too much to drink because he wanted me to be safe. He texted that he loved me. I hadn’t heard my text notification sound going off over the noise of the party, so I didn’t see any of those messages until an hour and a half later when we finished playing Twister. I still texted him my love back, even though in all likelihood he had gone to bed.

The Twister tournament was beyond ridiculous, with some mighty competition. Mark did surprisingly well, managing to make it all the way to the semifinals against me. I was starting to think it was going to be a real struggle when Laleh suddenly managed to distract Mark. I’m not exactly sure what happened because I was bridged over him facing the other way, but he tumbled sideways and brought me down on top of him in a laughing mess. Laleh smirked at me and started talking smack. Clearly she’d put the moves on to ensure she’d be facing me in the final round. Even more hilarious was that people started placing dollar bets on who would win. Victoria was talking me up mightily, but then Rain smirked and said that you wouldn’t believe how flexible Laleh was. That drew cat calls and whistles from the crowd. Laleh turned around and placed a big wet one on Rain’s lips, clearly loving being in the spotlight. Rain grinned down at her, his eyes sparkling.

It was a long and tough battle, I’ll say that. In the end, though, Laleh won out. She dethroned me. Vicky faked being pissed because she lost the bet, but was totally pleased that she had decided to bring the game out in the first place since it was a total success. I took the loss gracefully and made Laleh a huge celebratory cocktail in one of Victoria’s oversized summer beer steins and attached a sticky note to it that read ‘Twister Queen.’ Laleh said that if I ever beat her, my title would be just Twisted Queen. Hardy har har.

The night was a bit of a blur after that. There was more dancing, more laughing, more ridiculous conversations, Rain and Laleh making out on the sofa with her straddling his lap while the rest of us played a raucous round of Cards Against Humanity. That game was so far beyond dirty that I can’t even repeat some of the things people came up with - and the banter between us and the couple on the couch was even dirtier. It felt more and more like a college party than a bunch of working adults kicking back.

Eventually everyone that wasn’t staying the night started leaving in cabs. Vicky and I were acting the hosts and giving everyone big hugs and sloppy kisses on the cheek. Eventually Rain and Laleh made it to us. Laleh glomped onto me and started going on about how we should get together for dinner sometime soon. I challenged her to a Twister rematch at the next get together, telling her I’d surely take back my title. Rain smirked, his costume all askew and a couple hickeys on his neck standing out against the pale flesh. He said he’d still place his bets on Laleh next time. I rolled my eyes then pulled him into a hug. Maybe not the best idea, since I caught a whiff of his scent again... sigh. Rain said he was glad he met David and I, and would love to help us out with our Estonian if we still were up for it. I’d nodded to him, and he told me that he and Mike had exchanged numbers so he’d be in touch. As they walked down the steps, Laleh stumbled and Rain caught her, then scooped her up in his arms and carried the delightedly shrieking woman over to their waiting cab. After she was in, he turned back and winked at me. I fucking popped a boner, just from that sexy wink. I feel like such a cad.

As I walked up the steps to our house, I shook myself out of my reverie. It was quiet when I went inside, slipping off my shoes. I tiptoed upstairs, but Mike wasn’t in our bed. Huh. The car had been in the driveway, though, so he should be home. I came back downstairs. He wasn’t in the living room, and not in the kitchen either. I checked the basement den and laundry room. Not there either. Finally I found him curled up on the little couch in his office on the main floor, asleep with an empty rocks glass gripped limply in his hand. He was still in his costume. The Batman mask was on the floor a few feet away and there was a bottle of one of our nicer bourbons on the end table next to his cell phone. It looked like he’d drank a third of it, and Mike was definitely not a hard drinker. Shit.

I knelt down and stroked his face. “Hey love.”

He mumbled in his sleep, nuzzling his face against my outstretched hand for a moment. I found myself smiling, even though I shouldn’t be. I pulled out my cell phone and snapped a photo. I wanted to remember how cute he looks this morning, even if we end up having a fight. Or, rather, continue the fight that started last night when he freaked out and then left. I should have followed him home once I found out he had gone. Hell, I probably should have left with him in the first place, but I’m sick of playing to his tune whenever we are out together, goddamn it!

I whispered to him again, this time running a hand along his shoulder and upper arm. He opened his eyes, lifted his head and looked at me blearily.

“...David?”

“Yes love?”

He sighed, groaning and letting his head fall back to the couch.

“Do you need more sleep?”

“Nnn.”

“Do you want water and some acetaminophen first?”

Fun fact: Mike was allergic to ibuprofen, unfortunately. I prefer it, but we don’t keep it in the house as a precaution. I didn’t ever want him to accidently swallow some ibuprofen thinking it was aspirin or acetaminophen because he wasn’t fully awake, or in a rush to reduce some pain.

“Yeah.”

I got up and grabbed him what he needed. Propping him up on the couch, I handed him the pills. He swallowed them with some difficulty and then gulped back the water. He groaned again, letting his head fall back against the couch.

“Come on, babe. Let’s get upstairs and get some more sleep.”

He whined a little in protest as I got him to his feet. We managed to get up the stairs without too much issue, though my diminishing headache decided to reassert itself for a moment. I was getting worried. In our eight years together I don’t think I’ve ever had to deal with Mike this hung-over before. When we got into our room, he stumbled over to the bed and crashed down onto it. Blinking, he looked over at me with bleary eyes.

“David…”

I moved to his side, running a hand through his hair. “Yes love?”

“Feel sticky, crusty. Want… take my costume off, please.”

“Okay Mike, we can both take our costumes off and then go to sleep for a while.”

This definitely was not what I had in mind when we talked about peeling off one another’s costumes after the party. I tried not to think about who was to blame for this. I didn’t want to think about it. Not right now, not with my receding headache. Not with Mike so far gone.

Mike was surprisingly cooperative getting him out of his costume, and by the time he was completely naked he seemed to be coming out of his stupor. He actually started pulling at parts of my costume to help me take them off. I almost lost my balance at one point, and he caught me, giggling softly. Maybe he wasn’t as far gone as I’d initially thought. When I finished, he stood up shakily.

“Shower,” he muttered, “Need to shower before bed.”

He grabbed my hand and started to lead us into the en suite, stumbling a little until I caught him. He leaned up against the wall as I got the water running and up to temperature. I turned to face him, but instead of remaining against the wall where I’d left him, he was practically on top of me. He pushed me back into the shower stall up against the tile wall. He pressed his hot, thickening erection against my hip, grinding into me as I gasped. His tongue invaded my mouth, and I could taste the alcohol coming off his breath. God, it was still running through his system. He was still a little drunk.

I pulled my head back, knocking it against the tile. “Babe, babe,” I gasped. “We shouldn’t be doing this right now. We both aren’t in the right frame of-”

He claimed my mouth again this time kissing with even more passion. “Don’t care,” he whispered against my lips, “Need you right now, need you to love me, show you how much I love you, how much you love me…”

“Mike, I know how much you love-”

God, I couldn’t even get a word in as he covered my mouth with his once again. And, to be honest I didn’t really fucking want to. In moments when he was this passionate, I wanted Mike just as much. After the heartache of last night, with the dull pain of my headache, I needed him. Needed to join with him in our most intimate way. My dick was just as hard as his own now, trapped in the space between us. But was it right to do this now, while there was so much left to clear out of the air between us? With him still fueled by the alcohol he’d consumed waiting for me to come home, and me with this hangover? This… rapidly dissipating hang… Oh, fuck...

Mike gently bit down into the flesh of my shoulder. “Stop thinking so much,” he mumbled, his head nuzzling against mine. “Stop thinking and just feel. Just us. I need us right now, so bad.”

I pulled his head up and looked him in the eyes. They were filled with a desperate need for union and solace. He needed my love, and goddamnit I needed his too. I kissed him, hard. He groaned into my mouth, pressing his body harder against me. I spun us around and pressed him into the wall this time. Grinding, kneading, exploring, gasping.

The actual showering was a perfunctory whirl, drying one another off so quick that beads of water were still dripping down my leg as Mike pushed me back onto our bed. There was no more foreplay. He lubed me up with indigent haste, stroking up and down twice, and then straddled my abdomen. I was hard as steel, straining to be sheathed in his inner heat. He sank onto my cock, his head thrown back as he gasped at the pain from not preparing himself properly. Damn it, Mike didn’t bottom often enough to handle me without preparation, even with a lubed cock. Why was he trying to do this right now? He looked, down at me, biting his lip. Fuck, he wanted that pain. He was punishing himself.

“Fuck me,” he pleaded, grinding down against my hips. “Please fuck me David.”

I pulled him forward and down to kiss me. “I’ll make love to you, Mike. I won’t fuck you, I’ll make love to you. With you. I don’t want you to hurt.”

He let out a heavy breath and kissed me back. We stayed like that, making out, while I gave him time to adjust. He whimpered into my mouth as I began to move slowly. I pulled back from him and saw that there was still pain in his eyes. Pain that he wanted, that he was forcing upon himself. I wasn’t having any of that, though. Not right now. I knew what he was trying to do, whether he was conscious of it or not. If he was sober, that would be one thing. If last night hadn’t been a fucking disaster, it would be another. But this was different altogether and this is where we were, and I wasn’t going to let him guilt himself into doing this when I was just as much to blame. I flipped us over and pulled out. He started to whine but moaned when I swallowed his straining cock. Fuck, even with that pain he put himself through he was still rock hard. While I minded him with my mouth, I lubed up my fingers and began to work his hole. He was so goddamn tight at first, but he was slowly relaxing as I worked his cock over. I was carefully avoiding his prostate because I knew he’d tense up in the pleasure of the moment, maybe even come. He wanted me to fuck him and that was what he was going to get, just not with the pointless pain he was giving himself earlier.

“Please, David!” he moaned desperately, “Please, I need it!”

Mike was taking three fingers now, just barely, but it should be enough. I came up off his cock and allowed my fingers to teasingly brush over his prostate as I pulled them out of his hole. His body convulsed and he let out a long, low moan. I reapplied some lube to my cock and then wiped my hands clean on one of the towels we’d brought back from the shower. Mike grabbed his legs and was pulling his knees to his chest, but I shook my head. I turned him onto his right side and snuggled up behind him. I lifted his left leg so that it turned at an angle and hung over mine. I slid my arms around him and pulled him tight against my body. I shifted my hips to drag the head of my cock across his loosened hole. He moaned, pushing his hips back, trying to get it inside.

“I love you, Mike,” I murmured, “I’ve loved you since the very first moment our eyes met and I will love you for the rest of my life, no matter what may happen. I love you.”

As I lined my cock up teasingly against his hole, I heard his whispered “I love you too, David.”

I pushed into him gently. He groaned as the head popped in and then pushed back against me, taking my entire length at once. I thrusting into him with long, soft strokes while I caressed his body and kissed his shoulders and neck. His hands danced along my arms, grabbed the back of my head to turn me towards him for a strained kiss, and finally one sought out my ass cheek and started urging me to go faster. This wasn’t a position we usually used for anything but slow, sensual lovemaking, but the urge to go faster, to fuck him hard, he was making it more and more impossible to ignore.

“Fuck me, David,” he gasped, “Fuck me hard! I need it, I need it so bad. Please give it to me! Please, take me! Take me David! I need you to take me, to breed me. I need you to claim me, to show me that I’m yours and you want me! Please!”

His cries continued to escalate as our pace increased and I fucked him harder and harder, hitting that spot that would drive him to the brink over and over and over. My passion was out of control, so out of control.

“You’re mine, Michael Ryan Andriessen! You’re mine forever, and I’m yours for-fucking-ever, too! Come for me, Mike! Show me how much you love me, give me your come! Fucking come for me, stud! Take my big load, fuck!”

I slammed into him hard once, twice, thrice and bit down into his shoulder. He cried out, screaming my name as his body went rigid and his hole contracted tight around me. I gave a final two thrusts and then buried my cock deep inside him, unloading the seed of my passion.

We lay there, gasping for breath and soaked with sweat. After a few minutes our breathing had returned to normal. I was too exhausted to move in my post-coital bliss. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep like this, embracing my love. I was starting to drift off when I felt it. Mike trembled against me. I heard him sniff. He tensed and shuddered, swallowing hard. He was crying, choking back sobs.

“Oh Mike,” I murmured, trying to soothe him. “Mike, babe, it’s okay. We’re alright.”

I turned him around in my arms to face me. I stroked his hair, but he squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away from me. He wouldn’t look at me, even as he clung to me like it was life or death.

“Mike, come on, look at me.”

He shook his head, taking in a shuddering breath. “If… if I look at you right now, I don’t… I can’t, David… I hurt you so bad, I know I did…”

I took a deep breath, clenching my jaw for a moment as the memory of his anger and those hateful words flashed across my mind.

“They were just words, my love. You had a bad moment, you were tired and frustrated and had a bit to drink. Sometime things come out that-”

“No, David! Things like that shouldn’t ever! I don’t care if I was tired, or that I had a few more shots of that Gibson’s that Bobby had out in the living room than I’d like to admit. I hate it, hate it that I could have felt that way in that moment, that I felt that way so much that I said those things to you. And I can’t ever take it back because you are going to remember it for the rest of your life.

“I should have gone back to the party once I calmed down. I should have never left without you in the first place, should have apologized right away but I was still angry but at the same time so fucking embarrassed with myself… I’d already made enough of a scene and I didn’t want to ruin your night even more. I couldn’t handle it so I left. I didn’t know what to do. I should have gone back when you didn’t come home, but the moment I was in the door I went for… I went for…”

“The bourbon, yes I know.”

Mike shook in my arms. “I don’t remember anything after that. I know I was drinking, but… I was just in the office and I feel like whatever was happening I was trapped in a nightmare that I’d spun up myself and nothing I could do would make things right ever again.”

I pulled his face up by his chin. He resisted only for a moment before relenting. He clung to me tighter than he already was. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears still escaping at the corners.

“Mike, look at me. Open your eyes,”

He inhaled a shuddering breath and did so. The pain and remorse in those red-rimmed orbs made my heart ache. I locked gaze with him, holding it so we could feel deeply connected.

“I love you, Mike, and I forgive you.”

He shuddered and nodded, burying his face against the crook of my neck.

“Will you forgive me too?”

He stiffened. “For what? I thought about it, everything. Rain wasn’t flirting with just you, David. He was flirting with some of the girls. He was flirting with me, too, when we were talking in the fucking living room with the rest of the guys. Mark and Brian were needling me about it when he left to get us more beers because I was… I was… And then I went to see what was taking him so long and… Fuck, how could I accuse you of… when he was drawing it out of me, too, out of everyone there?”

I sighed. Well, it helped me a bit to know that Rain’s attention wasn’t focused solely on me before he started paying more attention to Laleh again when the party started to get messy after that Twister insanity. Reaffirming that Rain was just a straight guy that was very comfortable with his sexuality and flirty when drunk, that was good too. I don’t need any more handsome men vying for my attention when I have Mike already, someone for whom I wouldn’t trade heaven and earth.

“Mike, we already went over this. You had a bit to drink, you were tired, you weren’t thinking straight and I’ve forgiven you, okay? But I want you to forgive me, too, for not leaving the party with you when it was clear you needed us to go home. For not leaving the party and coming home to you when Vicky told me you’d left. For not coming home when I finally saw the texts you left me, even though you said it was okay if I stayed there overnight. I knew I should come home to you, but I stayed there because I was angry and feeling so many other overwhelming emotions. I just wanted to bury it all, get drunk and party until I could stop feeling because I thought that even if I did come home, it would be worse than staying. My anxiety came out and I let it get to me again.”

Mike nodded against my chest. “Well… that’s essentially the same thing I did… get drunk, try to stop feeling…” he muttered softly. He pulled tighter against me. “I forgive you, too, David, even though it’s all my fault in the end.”

I sighed. I disagreed, at least somewhat, but I didn’t want to argue that now. I pulled Mike’s head back up and kissed him. “We’ve talked about this enough for now, baby. I think we both need some more sleep. Do you want some more water?”

He nodded. I crawled out of bed and went into the en suite. I quickly drank a cup of water and then refilled the glass to bring out to Mike. He downed it quickly while I pulled back the covers and slid us both under the sheets. I curled up next to him, resting my head on his chest. Even though he was still in pain, I needed him to be the big spoon for a while.

We’d probably need to talk about this more, even though I didn’t really want to. This was unusual for me, very much so. I tend to want to talk about things, to clear the air even when others feel the matter is settled. It’s an insecurity, I guess. I don’t trust people to have truly let go of something, to have forgiven. Maybe it’s because I am the one that is clinging to things, failing to let go. But this? As much as I didn’t want this to fester between us, I don’t want to think about last night ever again. I can only hope that when we wake up, on the other side of this, that we can see everything differently in the afternoon sunlight.