Tales of the Underground: Crestfallen - 34. The Taylor Men

I once heard that all it takes is one day. You’re born in a day, you die in a day, you fall in love in a day…you find a family in a day. Well I hate to count my chickens before they hatch, but I think I’m finally starting to find a place where I belong.

Jayden let go of our short embrace and took his seat next to me. I could tell that even though his parents accepted us…it was gonna be a while until they got used to that. “So Aidan, what happened to your hand?” Mrs. Sanders asked, pulling dinner out of the oven.

“Just wear and tear from fighting, nothing to worry about.” I comforted with a smile.

She laid dinner on the table before reaching over “Can I take a look at it?” Jayden locked eyes with her and raised his eyebrows “Oh sorry, I already forgot, you have that issue with touching!”

I thought it over for a second, before starting to take off the small brace “No, it’s okay” I cautiously stretched out, and offered her my damaged hand.

She hesitated for a second, but finally reached out and gently felt over my fingers. As she reached the knuckle I had to grip the bottom of my chair to resist from yelping. “Welp, it’s definitely hurt.” She concluded, releasing it.

“What did that even accomplish?” Mr. Sanders sighed, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m a mother. It’s what we do.” She responded, playfully smacking her husband on the arm “I’ve now got a 3^rd boy around to take care of.”

“Don’t worry about me ma’am, I’m not…”

“You’re not what?” Jayden’s mom questioned staring me down “You’re a part of this house now, I worry about this knucklehead at work, this knucklehead at school and now you fighting, you knucklehead.”

I tried to fight off a smile but couldn’t. Aside from Perry, I’ve never really had anyone worry about me. “Yes ma’am” I nodded.

“Also no more sir and ma’am” Mr. Sanders said jumping in “Sure, maybe if you meet Jayden’s grandparents, but not to us.” I guess he saw the confusion in my eyes because he started to laugh “No, I’m not trying to trick you this time. I understand, you’re being polite, but don’t worry about it. Sure I’ll get on your case every now and again, but if you’re going to be dating Jayden…then you should be comfortable in our house.”

“Thank you si…” I began, but quickly stopped making everyone in the small room laugh.

“Jayden” His mom lectured, looking at him then the food in front of us.

“Oh right” he quickly shook, turning to me “It’s called Cholent, its basically slow cooked chicken and vegetables.” His mom narrowed in her stare “Ugh…” he let out thinking more “It’s usually eaten on Saturdays, because Jewish people can’t really use electricity and stuff like that on the Sabbath, so they can start it on sundown on Friday and it’ll be ready for them when they get home.” he started to ramble “and you know we’re Jewish but we don’t exactly follow that rule, we don’t really follow many rules.” His face turned pale as he realized he had said too much.

“Jayden kala!” his mother reprimanded with a red face.

“No, it’s fine” his dad laughed “It’s not like Aidan hasn’t figured that out yet.” He turned and shrugged “We try our best to follow most laws…but some we just fine a tad…”

“Ridiculous!” Jayden popped in with a smile.

His mother shook her head as she started to hand out the food “This one.” She sighed “He has no pride for his faith.”

I smiled for a second and though it over “Jayden loves being Jewish.” I comforted “He just randomly speaks Hebrew sometimes! He got so mad at me a few days ago, he started to rant in it!”

She turned with skeptical eyes “Really?”

“Yup” I nodded. His parents eyes connected, and Jayden slowly tried to disappear into his seat.

His dad peered over at him “We usually can’t get him to speak Hebrew to anyone besides us, and who he tutors.”

I looked next to me, and noticed he was as pale as a ghost. “I just need to be comfortable is all” he let out

“Why? You speak it so well.” I poked, he shook his head but didn’t respond “We’ll work on it.” I smiled, bucking shoulders with him. He slowly raised himself, and a small smile returned to his face.

“So Aidan, I don’t mean to get too personal, but does dad know about you two?” Mr. Sanders prodded, in a low voice.

I shifted my mouth from side to side “Kinda, he knows I have a boyfriend, but I honestly don’t think he cares.”

He thought it over for a second “So then he knows you’re…gay?”

“He’s known ever since I was old enough to understand what gay was.” I shrugged “I was still just a little kid when I tried to come out.” A silent Oh escaped his lips and I could tell he wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if he should. “He’s not a big fan of it.” I confessed, answering the silent question “I think he’s gotten over it by now though, and my mom…ugh.” I grunted “She’s all into it now that she hears it’s the new craze. “Everybody’s got a gay friend”” I mocked pushing around my food.

“But you don’t need your parent’s acceptance…” his dad lead

“Maybe at some point I did.” I reflected, thinking back on my childhood “but there’s only so much you can put up with. At the end of the day you just have to live your life, and be able to sleep with the choices you’ve made.”

“Those are some strong words.” He analyzed “Do they apply to all authority figures?”

I took a breath as I realized I was being tested once more “Not all, I respect everyone I meet…but sometimes people give you a reason to lose that respect…a reason to stop listening to them.” I shrugged and made a face “I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t let other people control my life…if I do what they want then my life is no longer…well…mine.”

“You’re independent” A touch of sorrow entered his eyes “My oldest was like that.”

I looked around the room, and slowly saw the air getting sucked out of it “Sorry, I didn’t mean too…”

“No it’s okay.” His dad waved “It’s a good attitude to have…we celebrate Matthew’s life around here, we don’t mourn it.” His words we’re more like instructions than an explanation.

I leaned back faking a stretch, and gently rubbed Jayden’s back to comfort him. He looked up, and opened his mouth but quickly shut it. His mom looked at him with warm eyes nearly begging him to speak “Is it okay…would it be okay?” he stuttered “Do you think I can take Aidan to see him?”

His father reached over and grabbed onto his mom’s hand “Of course you can.” He comforted “He’d be very happy for you and Aidan.” Mr. Sander’s said, trying to settle his fears about what Jayden was thinking “Although, he’d be grilling Aidan just as hard as I would be…Do you remember when your cousin got a boyfriend?” he asked attempting to lighten the mood

A sorrowful smile spread on Jayden’s face “He dragged Jamie along, and tried to intimidate the guy.” A small laugh escaped his lips “They both almost got their butts kicked…that would probably just happen again with Aidan.” He laughed again, but this time he had to fight back tears “I miss them both.” He exhaled

I slowly reached out, and our hands interlocked “Me too” Mrs. Sanders nodded “We’ll see them again, for now just make sure you have enough stories to tell.” She shifted her gaze and looked over to me “Matthew was our oldest son. I don’t know if Jayden’s told you about him…but he passed late last year.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” I squeaked out, not knowing what else to say

“Thank you.” She nodded, but I could tell she had been told that one too many times “Jayden and him had a special bond.” I felt his hand grip mine tighter as she spoke “His best friend Jamie also passed away…both of them used to fill Jayden’s head with adventures, and fantasies...it was a special time.”

“He knows about it all.” Jayden spoke up “He’s close friends with Eli Warren.”

“Oh…” she gasped and I felt the mood of the room shift a lot more. She opened her mouth to speak but the words struggled to come out.

“It’s okay” I quickly uttered “We don’t have to talk…”

“We didn’t know their stories were true.” She interrupted, clearly in her own world “If we did…If we did we would’ve stopped it.”

I nodded, and without thinking slowly grabbed onto her hand “I know…” I looked over to Jayden, not knowing what to say next “I know.” I repeated taking a breath

“Alright” Mr. Sanders cleared his throat, taking back control of the conversation “So Aidan.” He shifted uncomfortably, not knowing where to take it “Think you’ll be joining Jayden in AP classes?”

Jayden and I locked eyes and in an instant his mood flipped, I sighed as his giggling turned into all out laughter “Are you really going to laugh this hard every time that gets brought up?”

“Yes!” he breathed, trying to regain control of himself. It was good to see him shift from upset to lighthearted. Mrs. Sanders stared him down to stop, as she pulled herself back into the moment.

I nervously tapped my fork against the plate “I’m not exactly the smartest student.” I admitted.

“He’s better at going to war than studying war.” Jayden confidently defended “You should see him fight, he breaks every moment down in seconds, and responds in an instant, it’s amazing!”

“Yeah I’m more of an applied student.” I laughed, breaking up the last of the tension.

Mr. Sanders looked at me and made a face “Oh yeah? Then how about we come see a fight one day?”

“Oh no that’s alright…” I began

Our eyes stayed connected, and I saw another test brewing in his head. “Don’t worry about it, after all what’s important to Jayden is important to us.”

“Alright” I sighed “I’ll let you know when my next fight is…I’ll make sure to put on a show.”

“No!” Jayden exclaimed “No shows! Last time you walked out covered in blood!”

“Well that’s just the nature of fighting, now isn’t it Aidan?” Mr. Sanders poked

I looked to Jayden to answer, but he reflected the look right back at me. “It can be” I shrugged “I mean most fights I have the power to end given the opening, but my father prefers to watch me extend my fights.”

“Like a cat and a mouse.” Jayden sneered under his breath

Mr. Sanders worked over some thoughts, before pushing his plate forward “Perhaps when you’re done eating we should have a conversation about your father.”

I nodded and let his words hit me “I’d like that.”

“No! Aidan doesn’t…”

“Jayden shemesh!” His father interrupted

“No he doesn’t...” Jayden repeated

His father glanced to his mother, and once more a silent conversation took place “Shemesh.” She reiterated.

Jayden turned and glanced out the window at the setting sun “It is not sunset.” he mumbled getting up and walking down the hallway “There’s still light out!” a small voice ranted from inside his room.

“It’s sun down.” Mrs. Sanders clarified seeing the confusion on my face “The Sabbath begins on Friday at sundown and continues until tomorrow night.” She turned and looked down the hallway “Meaning that Jayden should know to wear his kippah when the sun goes down!”

“Yeah yeah.” he mumbled walking back into the hallway. He kept a scowl on his face as he retook his seat, except this time with a beanie covering his hair. I looked at him and went to speak but he raised a hand to silence me “I just have to cover the top of my head.”

His father let out a grunt, and I could feel disapproval fill the room. “Jayden, do it the right way.” I pushed, worried I was overstepping my boundaries “I’m not gonna think you look funny, or laugh. It’s your religion.”

He rolled his eyes “If you say anything…”

“I won’t” I comforted, as he pulled out a black circle from his pocket. He pulled the beanie off his head, exposing the soft brown hair from underneath and gently placed the circle over the top of his head. “I think you look extra cute with it on.” I nudged, as he fought off a smile, refusing to give his parents the satisfaction. There should be a special place in hell reserved for people who make others feel conscious about their religion. Just seeing Jayden sheepish about putting on something as simple as a kippah makes my blood boil! I may not understand it but it’s not for me…it’s for him and his beliefs.

I turned towards Mr. Sanders and a silent thank you escaped his eyes. “So about your father.” He cleared his throat. Jayden let out a dissatisfied groan in an attempt to break up the conversation, but before he could begin to talk Mrs. Sander ran over with hair clips to preoccupy her son. “We first met…maybe 20 years ago? He was a different man back then, had just bought his second apartment building, and was looking for employees. He hired me to work the front desk…but a few years later I would eventually be promoted to head manager of the building.” He proudly glanced towards his wife, who was fighting a small war with her son to clip his hair “I didn’t know him too personally, just through staff meetings, and random visits…but I could see something in his eyes.” He paused, and our eyes connected.

I watched as he slowly searched mine “Something corrupt?” I weakly offered, thinking he expected an answer.

“No.” he abruptly shook “Something generous…something caring. Back then he was devoted to an idea…the idea that he could rebuild run down cities around us. Hell his end goal was to eventually move up to North Jersey and rebuild cities like Newark and Paterson.” Mr. Sanders exhaled a deep breath “He wanted to give people affordable housing and jobs…he was possessed with the idea of giving back…of someone never having to grow up like he did.”

“Like he did?” I interrupted, not understanding.

“Well yeah, haven’t you ever met your grandparents, or visited where he grew up?”

I nervously shook my head, still not understanding “He doesn’t talk to his parents anymore…I mean, I met them when I was a few years old, but I really don’t remember anything about them.”

He softly rolled his eyes “That figures” he muttered “He grew…”

“Daniel astorf!” Mrs. Sanders interrupted. Their eyes locked in an intense stare down “It’s not our place.”

“A boy deserves to know where he comes from.” He grunted, dismissing her. I looked back, and saw a dejected Jayden staring down at the floor. “He grew up in a house that barely made ends meet. He was obsessed with making sure no one lived like that again…he thought that people could make a difference…that if we all helped one another, that people wouldn’t live such hard lives.” He swayed his mouth from side to side in frustration “Back then he wasn’t afraid to tell people of his past, of where he came from.”

I shook my head in denial “No that’s not true.” I felt my heart begin to race “He says that the Taylor family is full of great men…that everyone before him was strong and successful…that it runs through our veins. That’s why he’s always so hard on me! He has no choice…I have to live up to the expectations.”

“Perhaps they are great.” Mr. Sanders breathed, realizing the effect the story was having one me “But not in the way you think…I never met any of them, but from what I heard your grandfather was hardworking, he would work sun up to sun down just to afford food.” He reached out a hand to calm me down but I rejected it “Aidan it’s okay.”

“Not, it’s not” I shook, trying to piece everything together. I felt Jayden lean against me, but pretended not to “What happened to him?”

Mr. Sanders looked over at his wife who was looking on in disproval “Maybe we should return to this on another…”

“I need to know.” I uttered, forcing my words out.

“The economy crashed.” He sighed “Your father lost a lot of money when the recession hit back in 2008. Slowly but surely he was forced to sell building after building just to keep his main properties afloat…that’s when everything changed.” I looked over at him, and saw the overworked soul within “He changed his view…he started getting into business for money. The generous look in his eye turned to one of pride.”

“Prides not a bad thing.” I defended, trying desperately to see any light that was left.

He bit the bottom of his lip “In moderation it’s not but too much pride can easily be the downfall of a man…they say you can go from rags to riches, but you sure as hell can’t go from riches to rags, and your father…he’s way too damn proud to ever go back to rags, not without blowing up everything around him first.”

“Stop” Jayden muttered, picking his head up “We’ve heard enough.”

“No” I argue, turning towards him.

“How much more could you possibly need to hear?” Jayden questioned, starting to get aggravated “I’ve seen you chase this story before.”

I made a face, and our eyes locked “What story?”

Jayden aggravation started to flare up “You always have to play they hero.”

“No I don’t, name one….”

“Eli” he interrupted “Me…and now your dad?” He shook his head “At some point you have to think about yourself, you just said that if you live your life by what other’s tell you, that it’s not your life…well what if you live your life trying to save everyone?” He grunted, standing up “Does that still apply?” He marched down the small hallway and slammed the door behind him.

I let out a deep sigh in frustration, and went to stand but Mr. Sanders lightly grabbed my arm. He nodded to his wife, and she headed to comfort their son. “Trying to save Elijah?

“No” I dismissed with a groan “He’s got it all wrong, we’re just friends.”

Mr. Sanders shook his head, seeing right through me “Elijah…it means the lord is my…God” he forced out “The prophet was strong, loyal and brave. Last year I heard my son’s friend describe the kid in the same way…and yet he fell a victim to it all.” Mr. Sanders shook his head in disgust “He might have been a great kid…hell the school system around here hailed him as a golden boy, yet look at the boy who walks with you today.”

“There’s still good in…”

“Aidan” he interrupted “Anyone can be corrupted; don’t be stupid enough to think you’re an exception.”

“I don’t think I am” I weakly defended.

“Then do yourself a favor and stop trying to save everyone.” He sighed “A man has to look out for those he loves…he can’t be a hero and still have a family.”

“Says who?” I demanded, narrowing my gaze.

He sighed once more “You’re just like him.”

“Like Eli?” I quickly replied, trying to keep control of my tone “I’m not like him at…”

“Like Jamie Free.” He cut off “Same proud look…same desire to save everyone he came across. Please, if you’re gonna be around Jayden…don’t make the same mistakes…we’ve buried enough kids for a lifetime.”

A puzzled look overtook my face “He was really like that?”

“Ask those who he loved to tell you, they knew him better than me.” He shifted from me to the hallway “Now go, Jayden needs you.”

I nodded, and followed directions. I slowly pushed the bedroom door open, and saw a silent Jayden facing the wall, ignoring his mother. As she saw me she got up and headed to the door “Come on J, that’s no way to treat your mom.” She patted me on the back, as she walked out of the room. “So I think I just got the spark notes from your dad.” I breathed, taking a seat down next to him “You’re worried I’ll get corrupted, blah blah blah, be evil blah blah blah” I reached over and slowly rubbed his arm “But that’s not…”

“Am I not good enough?” a quiet voice squeaked out of him.

“What?” I shook, not understanding.

“Am I not enough for you?” His voice began to crack as he spoke “You can never just focus on me” he sniffled “It’s always gotta be on this or that…you don’t spend time with me because you’re too busy with Eli…or showing off to your dad.” He brokenly exhaled “I get it you’re a varsity wrestler, and undefeated and I’m just boring old me…but I thought…I thought that for 1 second I could get you…I can’t believe I’m that stupid.”

“You are stupid” I jabbed, forcing him onto his back.

“Fuck you” he spit, wiping the tears from his eyes

“You’re stupid if you ever doubt yourself” I pushed, grabbing onto his hands “How could you ever think you’re not enough for me? I know I get side tracked…I have a stupid hero’s complex, I chase everything in sight that I think needs to be saved, but you…you’re always in the back of my mind… ALWAYS.” I emphasized “No matter what I’m doing whether I’m in the gym, or wrestling. Hell you know most of my conversation with Eli are about you, I mean he-“ I nervously laughed “He gave me the advice on how to date you…and my dad…I got in a fight with him just so I could spend more time with you.” I thought back to his father’s words and shook them off “I’m sorry, I’ll always want to save people…it’s who I am, but if it ever came close to hurting you…I’d burn it all down in a second.” I looked him in the eyes and leaned my forehead against his “You don’t have to “get me”” I mocked “You already have me… and I’m wrapped around your damn jealous fingers.”

“I’m not jealous” he pouted

“Yes you are” I giggled “I never would’ve figured shy little Jayden would get so worked up over me being busy” He started to cringe his face, growing frustrated “It’s alright, I think it’s hot”

“You’re such a jerk” he yelped, as I reached down and lightly tickled his sides

“Yeah, but you’re stuck with me” I moved my hands back to his, as his light laughter filled the air.

“I’m still mad at you” he grunted, trying to make a straight face

I rolled off of him, and let him rest his head on me “We’re gonna be having this fight for a long time to come aren’t we?” He shook his head, refusing to give the honest answer “You know, you really do look cute in a kippah.”

“Don’t be a smart ass” he muttered holding me tightly “And no, I don’t want to talk about why I’m not comfortable with my religion.”

“Shit, I’m one wrong word away from you biting out my tongue.” I teased, running my hand along his arm

“You’re damn right you are.” He laughed, easing up “Just…don’t leave me” he squeaked

I exhaled a deep breath, understanding his true meaning behind the statement “Don’t worry, I’ll live to grow old with you, and every day you can yell at me about helping people, and every day I’ll fall asleep with you in my arms.”

“And we’ll have kids” he added, more as a demand than a request.

“Alright but you’re giving birth to them.” I teased, causing him to laugh once more

“Can we adopt? I don’t want them to have your eyes.” He sheepishly joked

I couldn’t help but laugh along with him “What’s wrong with my eyes?”

“They’re like lasers, they shoot right through you.” He giggled “They’re so dark blue, and yet so bright at the same time.”

“My mom says they’re the color of diamonds thank you very much!” I lectured in a fake tone

“Your mom’s full of shit” he taunted.

Jayden relaxed as the night went on. I think he needed to get this argument off his chest, if not for my sake than for his own. Yet as I laid there in that bed, and stared at the ceiling I couldn’t help but be haunted by my father’s past. So he really was a good man at some point? Maybe I’m wrong for helping people…maybe I’ll turn out like him…No! Helping people is how I met Jayden. If it’s a two sided sword than I’ll live or die by it. If I stay true to my heart, then I’ll never go wrong…will I?