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    thecalimack
  • thecalimack
  • Author
  • 04/02/2017
  • 643 Words
  • 1,688 Views
  • 10 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

errorlog.txt - 7. Afterword

Hi, this is TheCaliMack. Not Noel, legitimately TheCaliMack. Noel isn't even my real name.

I would just like to personally thank you for reading this work and discuss some of the thoughts that went into writing this fic.

I was inspired from text-based horror adventure games that helped create a heavy atmosphere, games like 'The House Abandon' (Stories Untold), 'I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream', and 'BURIED'. These games made a horrifying atmosphere with little graphics and much more on vivid storytelling. I thought I could replicate the effect of the game onto actual short stories.

I planned this story to be short, vague and engage people in discussion, but comments suggested that they weren't interested, so I had to up the antee a bit (A LOT). Thus the multi-chapter fic was born. I was also hoping for more response for this fic but... meh. I think the Linux-bash programmer style turned people away. That and the lacklustre of the first chapter.

Now as to why I chose this style in the first place. I wanted to try something different. I remember a short story that made use of a receipt format to tell a story. It was a hassle to read but once pieced together, it was kinda moving. I forgot the name. SO I thought I'd use something a little more... engaging, I suppose? I'm not sure I succeeded in that.

I was also aiming for horror through subtleties. Using words and sequence instead of too-violent imagery. Like we're de-sensitized from the horrors of death but I don't think we ever get away from the fear of potential death. I'll probably try better allusion next.

Now the theme: coming out and violent repercussions. These are my base fears because, as of this writing, I'm coming out to my family next year. At graduation. Still on the fence about it. Mostly because they really DO have a katana and a gun stashed away somewhere. But I know they won't go to extremes like this family did. However, these views ARE real, and can come from people close to you. People all say coming out is the greatest, and it may arguably be so, but sometimes things don't go as planned.

 

TL:DR; This story was a reflection of my fears and I hope to God I survive the fallout, if ever. I've been lying for most of my young-adult life and counting, but a professor inspired in me risk. The joy and fear of risk, and how living with openness and freedom is possibly the best thing for us.


We sort of discussed how religion was a form of escapism of the overly-devout for people unable to find a solid definition for themselves and being half-assed about it and trying to cover that up with zealous enthusiasm. Nothing against religion but to people who use that overzealousness as some form of excuse to bear down on someone's throat. It's a much more common theme than we realize. We also discussed how knowing to define yourself is really what helps you shape yourself for success. So what does that make me, then?


I'm a story-teller. I draw, I write, I plan and trade ideas. I just so-happen to be gay. And play videogames. And I Am Worth Something. Do I still believe in God? Well, yeah. I just believe in fair freedom for everyone to be a person and still be as they are.


Before I leave, I'd like to invite you all to critique this story. Hit me hard. I need to improve if I'm going to leave a lasting impression anywhere. So hit me with your hardest criticism. BUT BE CRITICAL AND CONSTRUCTIVE. Calling this 'It sucks' alone is not enough. At least expound as to why.

And with that, until the next story in the series.

Copyright © 2017 thecalimack; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 8
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Puppilull

For me, the form was an essential part of this story. It added to the disembodied feeling of Noel about to leave but not knowing where to. The traces he left behind are perhaps the traces we all will leave behind these days. No physical letters or diaries. It could be people didn't connect to the story because of that disconnection. It creates a distance, but in my opinion it worked so well just because of that distance. 

 

I like it when writers play around not only with language but also format. However, readers who come in here to relax and read stories that aren't a challenge but entertainment may choose other stories instead. I don't think that should deter you from continuing to push the boundaries of writing. 

 

As for religion, I'm a bit torn on the subject. It can be a great support for people going through life, but it can also become a straightjacket. I have nothing against religion, if it can remain open and tolerant. All too often that is not the case. 

  • Like 3
northie

I agree with Puppi that the format was an integral part of the story. However, I wonder whether the programming language put people off.  I enjoyed the story but found myself skipping through the programming jargon. If someone wasn't sure about the story, I think they'd be put off by it. Some was needed but I wonder if all of it was necessary?

 

Don't be downhearted. :)

  • Like 2
thecalimack
1 hour ago, BrianM said:

Having been a programmer for 25 years, the form was fascinating and the story resonated with me.  Perhaps for those who have no idea of Linux/Unix it might have been offputting.  Most computer users these days are not remotely comfortable in the power users domain of the command line.  A very worthwhile exercise, all told! 

:wizard:

I liked the power implied in the command line because I broke my OS one time because I messed up with the directory and deleting some essential files.

 

And text-based programs can be a hassle to read, admittedly. I remember being like that at first. Thus I tried simplifying this. Hell, anyone who knew Linux could tell the command prompts weren't so faithful. :))

  • Like 1
thecalimack
4 hours ago, Puppilull said:

For me, the form was an essential part of this story. It added to the disembodied feeling of Noel about to leave but not knowing where to. The traces he left behind are perhaps the traces we all will leave behind these days. No physical letters or diaries. It could be people didn't connect to the story because of that disconnection. It creates a distance, but in my opinion it worked so well just because of that distance. 



 

I like it when writers play around not only with language but also format. However, readers who come in here to relax and read stories that aren't a challenge but entertainment may choose other stories instead. I don't think that should deter you from continuing to push the boundaries of writing. 

 

As for religion, I'm a bit torn on the subject. It can be a great support for people going through life, but it can also become a straightjacket. I have nothing against religion, if it can remain open and tolerant. All too often that is not the case.

I am so glad you stayed interested then, all things considered. I had to consider the limitations of what I could do with the software of the site and then I remembered "FONT! GIVE IT A FEEL OF A COMPUTER TERMINAL!"

 

So yeah, old style text adventure games. I might make a videogame out of this, actually. I found a coupke of programs that could help tell the story, but it would take some time to implement.

thecalimack
3 hours ago, northie said:
 

I agree with Puppi that the format was an integral part of the story. However, I wonder whether the programming language put people off.  I enjoyed the story but found myself skipping through the programming jargon. If someone wasn't sure about the story, I think they'd be put off by it. Some was needed but I wonder if all of it was necessary?

 


 

Don't be downhearted. :)

 

I'm happy you put up with the jargon then. Guess this story wasnt meant for a lot of people.

 

I think a more user-friendly approach would make it more tolerable. I have an idea for that now, actually. :D

Edited by thecalimack
  • Like 1
hohochan657

I was going to tear you a new one (Is this expression inappropriate as English is not my mother tongue?) for breaking my heart with the brutal and gruesome ending.  However, after reading your afterword, I have to admire you for your bravery in your personal life.  Please stay safe and stay strong, all my positive thoughts go out to you ...

 

p.s. It will be helpful, to me, at least, if you post a warning for future work (at the story description part) if there'd be graphic violence involved.  Just so I am not caught by surprise completely ... okay I'm overly sensitive and a wuss, but I'm actually traumatised now ... I never choose to watch a horror movie, not in a cinema, not on TV, not on any other kind of devices ...

 

p.p.s. Thank you for your work :thankyou:

  • Like 1
thecalimack
15 minutes ago, hohochan657 said:
 

I was going to tear you a new one (Is this expression inappropriate as English is not my mother tongue?) for breaking my heart with the brutal and gruesome ending.  However, after reading your afterword, I have to admire you for your bravery in your personal life.  Please stay safe and stay strong, all my positive thoughts go out to you ...

 


 

p.s. It will be helpful, to me, at least, if you post a warning for future work (at the story description part) if there'd be graphic violence involved.  Just so I am not caught by surprise completely ... okay I'm overly sensitive and a wuss, but I'm actually traumatised now ... I never choose to watch a horror movie, not in a cinema, not on TV, not on any other kind of devices ...

 

p.p.s. Thank you for your work :thankyou:

 

I did not think it would warrant a violence warning but then I guess it should have, given the imagery.

 

Sorry about that. I didnt want to spoil too much of the plot. Haha

 

Also, it is a year from now. I am afraid. And I may chicken out. I feel bad about that but I might.

Edited by thecalimack
  • Like 1
bundu_st

This story... eerie, sad, has evoked a feeling of foreboding like I don't think I've had before (that's a difficult thing to achieve) I also read it in a white on black format like I usually do, so it kind of made it feel more real, as if I really was just reading data. The ending was like a fist in the face (one you know is coming but still is shocking in how hard it rocks you). It's sad and enraging that that was Noel's ending, but it does happen. You took it to the extreme but some families do react violently. I think readers here are quite aware that out isn't always easy or great so maybe that's why you got less of a response than you had hoped for. It would provoke more reactions, I believe if you'd get it to a hetero readership. 

Good luck on your own coming out. But if you really don't have to, perhaps do it after you are living independently from your family as you seemed a bit worried about it. :*)

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