Being Cam - 8. October 6th

Lunch time. Cafeteria was swarming with kids like usually. Everyone going to their group before they were left too exposed in the middle of the chaos that surrounded us.

Yet, I felt like I would rather be out there in it then sitting at this table of my nightmares. Nate wouldn’t look me in the eyes instead burying his face in his food. Emma and Isaac must have finally discovered their love for one another after the dance. They couldn’t keep their eyes or hands off of each other, “accidentally” brushing against each other and giggling to themselves.

The big scary unknown was starting to look better and better with each excruciatingly painful second. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“See you guys.”

The table barely even noticed, except Nate, as I just walked away. He took his attention away from his food for a split second. Hallways were quiet and empty at this time and I loved it. No one to bother me, no one I was forced to interact with if I didn’t want to. Just me and my thoughts. Something I spent a lot of time dwelling on. I slumped against a locker and let my mind wonder. An endless stream of things I could barely, or even care, to process.

“Hey Cam. What’re you doing out here?”

The voice broke my thoughts.

“Just avoiding… everything I guess. What are you doing Alexa?”

Her eyes darted around like she was about to say something completely nefarious and scandalous. It made me feel uncomfortable. Like I was somehow part of it.

“Just doing some research.”

“Research on what?”

She shifted again, hands in her pocket to hide the twitching.

“Uhh… an extra credit project for History.”

We literally had all the same classes and there was no assignments at all, extra credit or otherwise, in our History class. I didn’t trust her. Somehow I had the sinking feeling that this probably had something to do with Nate.

“Oh yeah? What’s the project on? I could use some extra credit myself.”

“It was nice talking to you Cam but I really gotta get going. See ya!”

As she walked away a note fell from her binder, silently hitting the ground between us. She didn’t notice it as she disappeared around the corner. Scrawled across the top was a bold heading that said:

Reasons Nate Could Be Gay

Below it was a list that went front to back of the all the reasons Alexa thought he was gay. Most of them superficial and ridiculous like “Didn’t want to commit to me” or “Wouldn’t kiss me on our first date.” Everything was numbered and organized just like you expect from Alexa.

I couldn’t help myself from reading them. Nate would kill me if I didn’t tell him about this but he was being weird to me right now. Maybe he’d have to wait. Halfway down the list my heart stopped.

#26 Never stops talking about Cam.

What? Alexa must have lost her mind. There was no way this could be true. All of this list was insane. I needed to talk to her. And now.