Everything Changes - 2. Lay Me Down

Everything Changes Cast:
Aaron Hawke - Alex and Brendan's Dad (k9 Police officer)
Mary Hawke - Alex and Brendan's Mom (Trauma Surgeon)
Alex Hawke - Brendan's 15 yo brother
Brendan Hawke - 13 yo

Derek Garrison - Aaron Hawke's friend (Police Officer)
Cameron Garrison - 13 yo friend of Brendan and Alex
Joey Snyder - Alex's friend 15 yo
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Chapter 2: Lay Me Down

After the boys had gone to bed, Aaron sat in his recliner, a whiskey on the rocks in one hand, pondering what his life had become. He had lost his best friend who in his eyes was a brother, and now he’d also killed a man, something he’ll now have to live with.

Telling somebody, they have lost a loved one had always been a hard thing for Aaron to deal with as a police officer. He just never imagined that he would have to be the bad guy – yet again, but this time it would be telling Cam – a boy he loved as a son – that he has now lost his dad after already losing his mom a couple of years before. What kind of fucking person did that make him? Aaron finally gave up on thinking, swallowed his drink in one mouthful and went to bed.

At 2:44 AM, Aaron heard Cam screaming, he leaped out of bed and started his way towards the bedroom which Cam had laid claim to when he was 6 years old. Once in the hallway to get to Cam, he saw Brendan has already headed the same direction. I could see a combination of fear and concern on his face. Brendan always did have a protective streak concerning Cam, I guess now Brendan feels compelled to be, Cam’s his best friend. Brendan probably feels it’s now his job to take care of Cam. Aaron could respect that.

Brendan said, “Dad I need to take care of Cam, so let me. Ok.” It was a statement, not a question.

Aaron was yet again amazed at Brendan’s confidence and tenacity, so the only thing he could say was “Just be careful with him, he needs all of our strength and love son.”

Aaron waited for Brendan to answer.

Brendan gave his father a sad smile, “Thanks, Dad, you know I love you even if I don’t say it enough and I am proud you’re my Dad.”

Aaron returned to his room with tears yet again, he listened from his room as Brendan closed Cam’s door behind him.

*****

“Cam, can I come in?” Brendan asked softly, slowly entering Cam’s room, closing the door behind him. When all he heard were little intelligible words being understood over muffled cries Brendan went to Cam. He sat beside Cam on his bed, rubbing his back, “Cam are you ok? I know this day went from good to total shit in no time at all.”

Cam said through tears, “Why my Dad? I have nobody now, first my mom and now my dad. What the fuck am I going to do? What did I do wrong? I just don’t get it…”

Brendan wrapped Cam in the biggest hug he has ever given anybody, even his Gram, and boy does she love hugs. While he held Cam, Brendan tried to figure out how to answer some of his questions.

When Brendan came up with the best answer that he could, he said, “Cam there are no real answers to why your Dad was killed. But you will always have me, Cam, as long as you want or need me. I promise I am not going anywhere. You are a part of MY family, and family takes care of family. You didn’t do anything wrong to make you lose your parents, life just sucks sometimes.” Brendan hesitated before continuing, “Do you want me to sleep in here with you tonight Cam?”

Cam merely nodded his head, and Brendan laid down beside him, and Cam held on like his life depended on his best friend. Brendan continued to hold him until his breathing had slowed to a point, which assured him his friend had fallen asleep. Shortly after Brendan relaxed enough to drift off to sleep cuddling Cam.

As the sun came up, Brendan woke with Cam still in my arms, not knowing what today would bring to Cam or any of their family. He laid there for a while until Cam stirred.

“Cam, I think my mom is home, and I can smell bacon are you hungry?” Brendan asked his stomach rumbling, remembering no-one in the house ate anything for supper last night.

“I’m not really hungry, but I guess if your mom is cooking we should get up,” Cam mumbled without moving.

He asked if Cam wanted a shower before breakfast, but he just shook his head “no.” So Brendan left the subject alone, and they walked to the kitchen. Brendan’s mom – Mary – is a surgeon and had worked for the last 24 hours straight. Mary was dead on her feet but came home and made breakfast for her family instead of sleeping.

Mary wrapped Cam and Brendan both in a hug and kissed their foreheads before asking if they were hungry. Brendan shrugged his shoulders and motioned his Mom over towards the refrigerator, Mary nodded as Cam flopped into a kitchen chair.

Brendan spoke quietly and said, “Mom, Cam is really hurting, and I am trying really hard to be strong for him, but I don’t know if it is going to be enough.” Brendan worried biting his bottom lip with his teeth. “He doesn’t want to eat, but I think… No I know, he needs to eat. Oh, I also need to tell you Cam thinks he did something wrong that God would take his dad after his mom died. But can you please try to get him to eat?”

Mary nodded and nudged him towards the table as she carried in two glasses of orange juice. She then grabbed the two plates and filled them with scrambled eggs, bacon, and steaming hot home fries and placed them on the table in front of Cam and Brendan. Brendan began eating but noticed Cam was just gingerly shuffling food around his plate without consuming anything.

“Cameron honey, you need to eat sweetheart. You’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t, and your mom and dad wouldn’t want that,” she smiled warmly at the sweet broken-hearted boy.

Cam then broke down into tears again saying, “I know, but I just don’t think I can be strong anymore. I remember when Dad and I would practice for football, and he would always say you gotta eat right and keep in shape Cam. I’m never going to hear him say that, or I love you again, and I never got to say it to him one last time before he died.”

“Honey, your dad, knows you loved him, and he told your Uncle Aaron that he loved you with his last breath. So don’t ever think you didn’t let him know how much you loved him, but if you want to tell it to him again, you can tell him and everybody else at the funeral. Uncle Aaron and Max are down at the station helping with funeral arrangements as we speak. So we will know more a little later, but Uncle Aaron did ask if we could get one of your dad's uniforms and bring it over here for him after you guys ate. Alex can help too if you want he should be up shortly.”

Just then Alex came into the kitchen and said “Morning guys, and Mom I love you and can I just have juice my stomach doesn’t feel too good.”

Mary gave Alex a glass of juice, and he sat down and sipped at it in silence as the boys finished their breakfast.

After gathering their dishes, Brendan said, “Mom you have to be tired, why don’t you go take a nap and Alex can go with us to get one of Uncle Derek’s uniforms.”

“Is that ok with Cam and Alex?” Mary asked the boys.

Both of them nodded, and Mary finally made her way to bed. Truth be told she could barely keep her eyes open and was asleep the second her head touched the pillow.

*****

The boys made their way over to Cam’s house, and as they entered Derek’s bedroom, Cam said “It’s weird like Dad should be here, and I know he never will be again. Dad always kept his uniforms in this closet.”

Alex gave Cam a sideways bro hug and reached into the closet to get one of Derek’s uniforms.

Any other day the house would have been lively with teenage boys carrying on with life, but today the house was only that – a house, not a home any longer.

Cam walked towards the front door stopping with tears in his eyes and said, “I would give anything to hug my dad and tell him I love him, just one more time.”

Cam then closed the door on the house as they left. Walking out of the door the boys saw Aaron’s police SUV in the Hawke driveway, and Cam felt more anxiety knowing that it was time to find out what was going to happen next.

The boys entered Brendan’s house with tension building and seeing Aaron sitting in the kitchen at the table. They went to him, and Alex handed Aaron, Derek's uniform.

“Boy's the arrangements are made for a visitation tomorrow from 1:00 PM until 7:00 PM at Engram Funeral home, with internment at Wildlife Memorial Cemetery. I need to get max and myself in uniform in a few minutes, and we are escorting your dad’s body home from the morgue to Engram’s.” Aaron eyed Cam for any reaction before continuing.

“There will be an honor guard at the funeral, and they will be giving your dad full honor at the graveside Cam. Do you have any ideas on a song you would like in a memorial video that is being made at the funeral home?”

Cam said, “Dad always liked country music, and he liked Tim McGraw’s song Lay Me Down. So I guess that will work. Uncle Aaron, do you think I could say a little bit about my dad at the funeral?”

Aaron assured Cam he could have however much time he needs. He hugged his three boys and got ready before heading out.

Once at the morgue, Aaron was met by five other fellow officers from his department. They were all surprised by a Captain of the State Police his name was McCarthy.

He approached and saluted then said, “Gentlemen we will be accompanying you officers through this journey until your officer is laid to rest.”

The officers thanked him and entered the morgue, they were then escorted by the undertaker to where they were instructed how to carry the casket to the hearse.

As the officers approached the door to the morgue with their fallen brother in arms, they were shocked but relieved to see at least seventy officers at attention on either side of the path.

The casket was placed in the hearse, the Aaron hit the remote Unlocking his running SUV with Max inside. He turned all warning lights on, and said, “Max lets take Derek home.”

Aaron, his fellow officer’s pulled in front of the hearse with the Captain of the State Police leading the way, and escorted Derek to Engrams Funeral Home. Aaron gave them his uniform before leaving.

*****

Cam asked for some time alone to think of exactly what he wanted to say at his Dad’s funeral.

Cam knew it hurt Brendan by saying he wanted to be alone, by the expression on his face. Cam felt his life was a disaster, his dad is dead, he’s gay and deeply in love with Brendan. But there is no way he was ever going to admit any of that, and destroy their lives, just like he felt his own was. Cam sat and scribbled some notes of things to say about his dad.

At dinner time Mary brought up an iced tea and sandwich with chips which he picked at while thinking. It was getting late, so Cam walked into Brendan’s room and told him how much he appreciated his support. He gave him a quick hug and asked if Brendan would mind sleeping like they had the night before. Brendan smiled and pulled Cam into his bed. They cuddled up, and the only thing Cam could think of was would his dad love him if he knew his secret?

The next morning came way too quickly, they had an early lunch and then they were off to the funeral home. The family rode in a huge black limousine. Aaron and Max both in uniform, Mary in a pretty black dress, and the boys in black suits and ties.

The funeral home visitation was chaotic, meeting friends of Cam’s dad. They all had so many nice things to say. The memorial video was really cool, they showed pictures of Cam’s Mom and Dad together, then pictures of my dad and me throughout the years. The video made Cam cry, but not as bad as standing by that casket with his Dad in it.

Cam was happy but unhappy to leave the people in the funeral home behind. The only exception was leaving his Dad there. He knew tomorrow would be the last time to be with his dad.

Back at Brendan’s, they had a quick dinner which Cam really didn’t remember. He just seemed to be in a daze from the stressful day. They did a repeat of sleeping arrangements that night except they used Cam’s now permanent bedroom. What surprised him the most was even Alex slept with them. It was a little cramped, but Cam knew Alex was being a protective big brother like he always had been.

The next morning the family were all ushered to the front row of seating for the service. The priest from the local church spoke a lot about the most significant thing a man could give was his life for his fellow man.

Cam’s dad had done that wholeheartedly even he was alive.

Aaron went up front and spoke beautifully about how much he loved Derek and would miss him the rest of his life.

All too soon, it was Cam’s turn to speak. He pulled the paper out of his pocket and looked back at his dad in the casket and then back to the crowd as tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘Why the fuck can’t I stop crying like a baby?’ Cam used the back of his hand to wipe away the fallen tears. He cleared my throat….

“Dad, I would give my life if you were able to be here with me one more day. I miss talking to you, joking with you, playing catch and throwing a football with you, I am so lost without you Dad…” Sniff… Cam wiped away more tears, “Dad, I hope I can be half the man you are. I wish I had the chance to hug you again…” sniff…. “Dad, I love you so much I hope you know that. To tell this to everybody here, my dad is my hero. He was the best dad I could ask for. After my Mom died, my Dad and Uncle Aaron, Aunt Mary, Brendan, and Alex were my strength in what I thought would be my darkest hours of my life up until now. Dad, Uncle Aaron, Aunt Mary, Brendan, and Alex will take care of me, and watch out for me. Say hi to Mom for me Dad, I love you so much I just wish I could tell you that while you were alive. Goodbye, Dad…”

At the cemetery there were so many policemen and taps and guns shots and taps and UGH!… Cam felt he could not handle anymore today. He just needed Brendan to hold him and make everything alright….

 and ugh… I can not handle anymore today I just need Brendan to hold me and make everything alright….