The Fresher - 8. Chapter 8

The day had started out wet and miserable, so I’d spent the morning wrapped up in my duvet watching mind-numbing daytime TV from the comfort of my warm bed, wondering if the fact that I still hadn’t heard anything from Jake was a bad sign, and ultimately fearing the worst. I was trying to muster up the energy to head out and join a queue that was likely to be so epic in scale that it was visible from space with the naked eye – just to get a stupid photo taken for my university library card – but I had now invested too much time into finding out whether it was the red team or the blue team that had picked out the best antiques at the flea market in today’s episode of Bargain Hunt, and I was determined to stick it out for the next twenty minutes or so to see who would make the most money at auction. When the credits finally rolled – the red team winning by default having only made a loss of £86 compared to the blue team’s £174 – I went to grab my jacket and umbrella from beside my door and stopped in my tracks when I noticed that a couple of letters had been pushed underneath my door. Turning them over in my hands, I recognised the handwriting on the first envelope immediately – the large, loopy letters with their characteristic slant told me that it was a letter from my mum. I experienced my first pang of homesickness since I’d arrived in Bath and was surprised by just how emotional I felt seeing something as trivial as my mum’s handwriting. The lack of a stamp on the other letter told me that it had been hand delivered, but I didn’t recognise the handwriting on it and decided that I wanted to see what my mum had to say first. I don’t know why, but I opened the envelope carefully, not wanting to tear the paper.

Darling Andrew,

I know letters are terribly old-fashioned nowadays, but it just seems so fitting to put what we have to say down on paper; it makes it more permanent somehow. We want you to have something ‘real’ that you can always come back to should you ever need to be reminded of how much you mean to us.

Firstly, we want you to know just how proud we are of you for getting into Bath. It’s nothing less than what you deserve though; we know how hard you worked these last two years to get the grades you did in your A-Levels. We wish so much that we were able to help you more financially and hate that you’ve had to take out that student loan, but we’re so proud of you for working all the hours you did this summer to save up some funds of your own. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re not our little boy anymore. A part of me will always see you that way though, so you’ll have to forgive me for being sentimental at times.

Aside from your academic achievements, we also want you to know just how proud we are of you as a person, Andrew. Your father and I had suspected for a while that you might be gay – you’re just too handsome to have never had a girlfriend! – but we can assure you that it has never once been an issue. You’re our son and we love you with everything we are. Nothing could ever change that. Nothing. Be proud of who you are, Andrew, and stand up for what you believe in. You are an incredible young man, and we’re proud to call you our son.

You can’t begin to imagine how empty the house feels without you here; we both miss you terribly, but we know in our hearts that you’re destined for great things and are going to do so well at university and make us even more proud than we already are. Life is about far more than just studying and hard work though, dear, so make as many friends as you can and enjoy your time at university as well. Just make sure you take care of yourself.

With all our love,

Mum and Dad xxx

My eyes were brimming with tears as I read the letter. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such fantastic parents, but I knew just how lucky I was and it made me even more determined to make sure I never let them down. After splashing my face with water to freshen myself up, I safely tucked my parents’ letter away in the top drawer of my desk and turned my attention to the second, much smaller envelope. Inside was a small piece of paper containing only a few enigmatic words:

The Edge. 1:30 pm. Come alone.

To say that it was a bit mysterious would be an understatement and I have to confess that the first thought that came into my head was that it was a message from the FSB – the successor to Russia’s good old KGB – and that someone was going to try and recruit me into the Russian security service before I’d even learnt one word of the language. I felt sweat begin to form in my palms as all sorts of horrific scenarios played before my eyes. How was I going to turn them down? What would happen if I didn’t go? Would that anger them more than turning them down in person? Would I forever have to watch my back? Just look at what they did to Alexander Litvinenko. More pressingly, what the hell was ‘The Edge’? If it was a place, then I had no idea where it was. I glanced at my watch: I only had fifteen minutes to get there, wherever there was. I ran up the stairs and knocked on Matt’s door, but there was no answer, so I headed back down to my room and fired off a text message to him, letting him know what was going on. Although the note said I should come alone, it didn’t say I couldn’t tell anyone else about it, right? After pulling on my trainers and jacket, I scanned the map of the university campus on the back of my door. Just as I was about to give up hope, I finally found a building labelled ‘The Edge’ and proceeded to hurl myself down the stairs at lightning speed. I needed to get all the way to the other side of campus and I was probably going to be a few minutes late as it was.

As I jogged up to the entrance doors, I found a piece of paper taped to the door with my name written on it and the words ‘Arts Theatre’. I tore it down, folded it up and put it in my pocket before heaving open the door. Just inside the vestibule area I found a plaque pointing the way to various galleries, studios and rooms. When I found the door to the theatre, another piece of paper was taped to it, this time with the word ‘ALONE!’ emblazoned on it in block letters and underlined. I looked around and there was no one else to be seen – you could have heard a pin drop in the place – so I once again removed the piece of paper and folded it up into my pocket to keep the other note company. With my heartbeat pounding a furious rhythm in my ears, I took in one last steadying breath to try and compose myself before opening the door and stepping inside.

The theatre was shrouded in near complete darkness and it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the murk and gloom. Just as I began to fumble around on the wall for a light switch, the sound of a match being struck caught my attention down on the stage and I focused on the source of light as it went on to light a number of candles arranged on top of the closed lid of a sleek grand piano. As the light increased, I realised that it was Jake and started to make my way down the stairs from the back of the auditorium. After lighting the last candle, he shook the match to put it out and our eyes locked when he looked up at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but he put a finger to his lips and shook his head, gesturing for me to stay silent and pointing to the front row of seats. Doing as instructed, I took a seat in the middle of the row and watched him take his place at the piano. He rolled up his sleeves and tentatively reached out towards the keys, his hands visibly trembling. As the first few notes filled the empty theatre, his nerves seemed to melt away and I had to bite down on my lip to try and rein in the overwhelming emotions I was feeling; I instantly recognised the song as Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley, and as if the music itself wasn’t enough to contend with, Jake unexpectedly began to sing.

His singing voice was deep and rich, and each word was sung with tender conviction. As the melody slowed to repeat the song's spellbinding last line, Jake turned and looked me straight in the eye, causing my breath to catch in my throat. When the last note eventually died away in the cavernous space, a single tear spilled over and trickled down my cheek before I brushed it away. He pushed back from the piano and angled his stool towards me. I was rooted to the spot, completely blown away by his talent. I knew that he must have been good at piano, but the singing came as a complete revelation to me and I just stared at him in total shock and wonder. I think my silence worried him though and he started to wring his hands. Coming to my senses, I jumped out of my chair and onto the stage. I strode towards Jake with a fire in my eyes, but before he had the chance to say anything, I dropped to my knees in front of him and planted my lips on his, kissing him with everything I had. After his initial reticence, Jake kissed back with equal hunger. I held his strong jaw in both my hands and brushed his five o’clock shadow with my thumbs, relishing how it felt against my own smooth skin. If I thought our first kiss at Sham Castle had been passionate, then this one was off the charts.

Jake wrapped both his strong arms around me and it felt like he was trying to mould our bodies into one. Planting his hands underneath my arms, he pulled me up from my knees and stood up himself. I draped my arms around his neck and was about to pull away from him to speak, but he effortlessly lifted me up, pulled my legs around his waist and carried me over to the piano instead. As he gently placed me down on top of it – mindful of the candles – the image that flashed through my mind caused me to chuckle against his lips. He pulled away from me with a questioning look on his face.

“I’m sorry for ruining the moment, Jake, but I was suddenly feeling a bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman… well, without the whole messy prostitution backstory, obviously.”

A grin started to form on Jake’s handsome face, revealing those gorgeous dimples of his. “I think you must be confused, Andrew. I’m pretty sure Julia Roberts didn’t have one of these,” he said as he cupped the obvious bulge in my jeans.

I rested my forehead against his and we both chuckled. Having taken a little of the heat out of the moment, he lifted me back down onto the ground, kissed me gently on my forehead, my nose and my lips in turn, and looked at me intently. “I owe you a huge apology, Andrew. I was a real arse to you at the gym yesterday, and I said some horrible things the other night, which I didn’t mean. It was just the anger talking.” He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. “Can you forgive me?”

“No,” I replied, resolutely.

Jake was taken aback. “No?”

“No,” I echoed, softening my voice, “because you don’t have anything to apologise for, Jake, so there’s nothing for me to forgive. I can imagine how things must have looked at the club, and if I’d been in your shoes, I’m not sure I would have acted any differently.”

Jake avoided my gaze. “I should have just listened to you though.”

I pulled his chin back towards me and nodded. “Yep. But it’s not easy to listen when you’re mad, is it?”

Jake shook his head. “Nope. Sam finally got through to me though. And Matt. They were both over at mine last night.” A smile started to form on his lips. “They certainly seem to be getting on well, you know?”

“Oh yeah? Well, that explains where he got to last night, then.” I grinned back. “He told me they’d ended up staying at the club the other night and chatted for a while. Sounds like Sam’s had a bit of a hard time lately though. I think Matt’s a bit worried that she might be on the rebound…”

Jake dismissed this with a shake of his head. “It’s been so long since she split up with her ex that I don’t think she could be classed as being on the rebound. And besides, my sister’s like me. She isn’t going to be with someone just for the sake of it, so Matt doesn’t have anything to worry about on that score. If she likes him and anything happens, then it definitely wouldn’t be a rebound thing, I can promise you that.” He suddenly glanced at his watch and frowned. “We need to get moving.”

“Moving? Where are we going?”

Jake grinned at me conspiratorially. “It’s a surprise. Have I ever given you a bad one yet?”

I chuckled. “Nope. Do I need to bring anything else with me though?”

He shook his head, interlinked his fingers with mine, smiled as he looked down at our joined hands and pulled me off towards the exit.

<><><>

About three quarters of an hour into the drive, the view outside the window became more and more scenic as we passed through quaint villages and the Mendip Hills. Somerset really was a beautiful part of the country, especially at that time of year. The weather was still showery, but it was mild enough, and the excitement of not knowing where we were going – despite my constant questioning – had me all keyed up; I wasn’t going to let a little bit of rain ruin my mood. We passed the time talking about all sorts of things. When we touched on the subject of the rugby team though, I detected a slight change in Jake’s mood.

Realising what the problem probably was, I decided to tackle the issue head on. “I don’t know whether it’s something you’re ready to talk about, Jake, but how are you feeling after what happened at the gym yesterday, with Tom I mean?”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel, causing his skin to turn white around his knuckles. I reached over and placed my hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Jake’s prominent Adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he rubbed one of his hands across his forehead, pinched his temples and sighed. “I think I actually took myself by surprise, if I’m being completely honest, Andrew. I mean, I was just so angry with Tom and the words were spilling out of my mouth before I even knew they were in my head.”

“Do you really intend to report him to the university?”

“If I don’t, then he’ll know that I’ve been making empty threats, which would probably just make him worse.”

“True. You realise they might kick him out of the uni though?”

“Wouldn’t he deserve it?”

I shrugged. “I guess. I just can’t imagine feeling so much hate the way he does. And to throw away your place at university just because of it would be crazy.”

“I think he’s been close to dropping out anyway. From the way he talks when the team’s been out drinking, he hardly ever goes to lectures and I think he’s had to re-sit just about every exam going.”

“Are you worried about how the other guys on the team might take the news?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” I removed my hand from his leg, but he grabbed it back. “But despite what you might think after what I said the other night at Sham Castle, I’m not ashamed of who I am, Andrew. And I’ve come to realise that I don’t want to hide or live a lie either. Matt sure made me see that. It’s just…” he stalled. “It’s just, this isn’t exactly how I imagined coming out, you know? I probably would have picked a better way of doing it.”

“I doubt any way of doing it is easy, Jake. Do you really think anyone else on the team will have a problem with it though?”

He paused and twisted his mouth in thought. “Maybe a couple of the guys, but I guess you never know, huh?”

“I guess not. For what it’s worth though, Jake, I’m really proud of you for what you did, even if it wasn’t intentional.”

He stole a glance at me across the car. “Yeah?”

I gave a firm nod of my head. “Yep. Now tell me where the hell we’re going!”

Jake chuckled. “We’re almost there. Patience, Andrew, patience.”

Sure enough, a short while later, we pulled into Weston-super-Mare, a seaside town on the Bristol Channel. The upper part of the beach is lovely and sandy, but the sea retreats a long way at low tide, exposing large areas of mud flats in the process, hence why the town has the nickname Weston-super-Mud, I later found out. Many of the buildings in the town had been built using local stone though, which gave the place its own unique character. After parking the car and having a quick look at his mobile, Jake excused himself to make a quick call; it was all very secretive. When he returned, he had the Maps app open on his phone and grabbed hold of my hand, leading us off towards the seafront.

After a short stroll, he took one last look down at his phone and then up at the name of the amusement arcade we were standing in front of and grinned. “Yep, this is the place. Come on. I think you’re going to enjoy this.”

Jake fed several pound coins into a change machine and collected up all of the coins the machine spat out in one of the garish plastic pots the arcade provided for precisely that purpose. After trying out several different coin pusher machines together, Jake ushered us around the arcade to scope out the other machines on offer with his hand gently pressing on my lower back. The noise and flashing lights from all of the fruit machines, claw cranes, air hockey tables and video games overwhelmed my senses and had the inner child in me grinning like a loon.

“There it is!” he shouted over the noise, shaking my wrist to get my attention back from the nearby pinball machine I’d been looking at. My eyes widened in shock when I saw the game Jake was pointing at.

“Wardner!” I shrieked, before making a beeline for the machine, almost sending several small children flying like skittles in the process. “Oh my God, Jake. You have no idea how much I love this game!” I was practically vibrating with excitement.

Jake chuckled and seemed to be getting caught up in my childlike glee. He put the first coin into the machine and grinned at me. “Oh, I don’t know about that. From what you told me, I’d gathered you were quite addicted to it…”

I felt the telltale burn creeping up my cheeks as I furtively tried to scope out where the toilets were. Jake laughed out loud when he realised what I was looking for.

“This is incredible, Jake. I can’t believe you went to the trouble of finding where they’d have one of these machines.” I kissed him.

Jake blushed. “Yeah, well, like I said earlier: I owe you a huge apology for the last couple of days, so I guess this is my way of trying to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Jake. This – today – is the most special thing anyone has ever done for me. I’m never going to forget it, Jake. Ever.”

He beamed at me, kissed me back, and then I got lost in Wardner and all the memories of my childhood holidays with my mum and dad. I have no idea how much time passed, but Jake kept on plying the machine with coins – just like my dad used to do – and he seemed to be getting just as much pleasure out of watching me play as I did playing on the game.

When the last of the coins were spent, I turned to Jake and hugged him tight against me. “Thanks for this, Jake. It’s been incredible.”

“Yeah? I’m having a great time, too, bud.” He looked at his watch. “Time for part two.”

I knitted my brow. “Part two?”

Jake grinned. “Yeah, part two. Follow me.”

We made our way back to the car, but instead of getting into it, Jake popped open the boot instead and pulled out a picnic basket.

I chuckled. “Well, you’re just full of surprises, huh?”

Jake chuckled and winked at me. “I am today, it seems!”

We made our way down onto the beach and found a dry spot before Jake started to pull out all the supplies. It really wasn’t the best weather for a picnic and it looked like it was going to rain any second, but there wasn’t any way I was going to suggest we cut it short. We devoured the food and drinks he’d brought along in the basket and when there was a natural lull in the conversation, he scooted closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. With our knees raised, I hooked my arm around his nearest leg and pulled it tight against my own. We stared out to sea, listening to the squawks of the gulls as they skimmed over the waves and the sound of the water as it lapped the shore. The moment was perfect and I closed my eyes to try and commit everything to memory. Suddenly, Jake’s phone made a noise, alerting him to a message. He tilted his body away from me to check it, and after tapping out a quick reply, he had a big grin on his face when he turned back to face me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What are you up to, Jake?”

He faked a look of hurt. “Me? You’re just too suspicious for your own good, Andrew.” He stood up and brushed the sand off his jeans, before lowering his hand to me and helping me up. When I was standing next to him, I expected him to let go of my hand, but instead, he pulled me into the classic ‘closed hold’ ballroom position – one arm below my shoulder blade, whilst holding my other hand out in front of us.

I realised what he was up to instantly and chuckled. “The Singing Butler, huh?” I grinned. “But where’s our maid and butler?”

Jake looked over my shoulder. “On their way…”

Jake started to spin us around in a slow circle, and as he did so, I could see two figures walking towards us along the sweeping promenade. As they got closer, I realised that it was Matt and Sam, both of them armed with umbrellas. Could Jake be any more romantic?

I wasn’t sure whether I dared ask the question, but with Matt and Sam still a little way off, I plucked up the courage: “The song you sang earlier… Did you mean it?”

Jake put his head alongside mine and his lips brushed lightly against my ear as he spoke softly: “Would it frighten you if I did?”

My skin broke out in goose pimples. When he pulled back and I looked at his face, I could see that he was blushing, and I was relieved it wasn’t always me.

I shook my head. “Not even remotely.”

He kissed me, slowly and tenderly; the kiss was full of meaning. “They say actions speak louder than words, so hopefully you can feel what you mean to me, Andrew.” He broke the ballroom hold and placed the palm of his hand on my chest, right over my heart. “Right here. But just in case you need to hear it: yes, I meant the words, Andrew, every last one of them. I know it seems fast, and I know other people might think it’s crazy, but I am definitely, definitely falling for you.”

Words failed me, but Jake just pulled me tight against him: like he’d just said, there was no need for me to say anything anyway; he already knew. I nestled my head in the hollow of his neck and every now and then he would plant gentle kisses on the top of my head and I could feel him breathing deeply through my hair. As Matt and Sam reached us, it started to rain and they opened their umbrellas on cue. I could feel Jake’s heart beating in complete sync with my own and we used that beat as we continued to dance in a small circle on the beach, creating our very own version of The Singing Butler for the circling gulls and anyone else who happened to be passing by.