Strictly Business - 9. Memory Lane

“Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you tell me this before?!” Maggie said (loudly, as usual), as Sam told her he was gay.

She wasn’t mad, although her loud voice and gesticulation could have fooled anyone who didn’t know her. Sam knew she’d try to make a big deal out of it, but he wanted to tell her anyway. She was his closest friend at work, and they even started hanging out outside of the office on occasion. He knew she was essentially a good person, although short-tempered. Maybe that’s why they got along so well, because he was so relaxed and chill most of the time.

“Well, no particular reason. I mean, it’s not like I thought you were homophobic. It’s just… what was I supposed to say? ‘Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you – I’m gay’,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “If you ever asked, I would’ve told you. Besides, you probably already figured it out on your own?”

“Yeah, I did, I assumed you were gay.”

“Well there ya go. It doesn’t matter anyway, right?”

“No, of course not. I’m glad you told me though,” she smiled at him.

“Thanks, me too.”

“Although, why now? I mean, what made you tell me after all this time?” Maggie was right to ask this question. If Sam ignored the topic of his sexuality so far, which was totally his right, he doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone, why did he choose to officially come out to her now?

Sam knew they’d get to this point. On one hand, he was excited to tell her about Brian because he wanted to share his happiness with her and with the world. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure how she’d react. It’s not like Maggie hated Brian or anything, it’s just that you never know… Especially with her. She was very opinionated about everyone and anyone.

“Well, because I kinda have some other news to share. I’m seeing someone… and you know him.”

“Really? Who is it?” Maggie’s expression was as if Sam told her he had found buried pirate treasure and wants to share half with her.

“Someone from the company,” he said, pressing his lips into a smile.

“Oh my God, how did you manage to find a guy worth dating in Stein & Burns!? You should get an award for this,” she almost shouted, oblivious to where she was.

“Ok, a little more quiet, not everyone in the building has to hear you,” Sam whispered with an annoyed look on his face.

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “Is it Jared?”

“No. I knew you were gonna assume it’s him. It’s Brian,” Sam made a big grin, his entire face glowing.

“Brian?! Really? I never thought he was gay, to be honest,” she was genuinely surprised. “Then again, I never really hung out with him.”

“Well he is. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.”

“He is cute though!”

“Understatement of the century!” Sam smiled.

“How did you guys even start going out? Who asked whom?” She was happy for Sam and wanted to know all the details.

“Well, it’s a long story,” he laughed when he remembered their first “date” and how Clara blew his cover on the second date. When he told the entire story to Maggie, she couldn’t help but laugh and tease him.

“You guys are insane. Neither of you cowards had the courage to ask the other one out!”

“You didn’t even think he was gay,” Sam pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, I don’t have to know, do I? I wasn’t the one trying to hook up with him,” she teased. “But seriously, I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks!”

“So, are you enjoying it? What’s he like?”

“He’s amazing, really. I’m so happy with him,” Sam nodded and smiled. “I can’t even begin to describe how great he is.”

“Wow, he’s that good, huh? Well I’m glad to hear that! So it’s gotten serious between you two?”

“I hope so,” Sam said. He knew he was ready for a serious commitment with Brian, and hoped that Brian felt the same. Maybe he was old-fashioned when it comes to dating, but he was a romantic and wanted a serious relationship where two guys are committed to one another. He was already imagining their future together. Yeah, some would say that perhaps it’s too soon, but he couldn’t help it. Brian was the man for him.

--

Brian was not looking forward to seeing Richard at all. And Sophie was right, she did ruin his good mood by mentioning him. What did he want anyway? It’s been over ten months since they broke up, there’s nothing more to say. Besides, he hadn’t even thought about him once since he and Sam started dating.

When Richard told him he wasn’t ready to settle down and wanted to see other guys, it was over between them. One moment they were planning on moving in together, and the next Richard basically told Brian he wasn’t enough for him. That was it for Brian. It was clear to him that Richard didn’t love him as much, even after being together for so long. He cared more about going out and having hookups with random guys.

It was difficult, he was hurt and heartbroken for weeks. After getting home from work, he would stay in his apartment and cry. Bo was his only company. Still, he managed to get over it and forget about Richard. Still, he became wary of guys and refused to go out and start dating again. But now, with Sam in his life, he is happier than ever.

Still, now that Richard was on his mind, he couldn’t help but remember all the good times they had. After all, they were together for three years, which means that they got along well. They loved each other… Well, at least Brian loved him. They had some pretty great moments, but in the end, it didn’t matter.

Brian realized he needed to tell Sam about all of this. Firstly, he wanted Sam to know all about him, he didn’t want any secrets between them. Also, he needed Sam’s support if Richard does decide to come. He knew Sam would be there for him and make everything better.

He left his office and headed down the hall toward Sam’s office, wanting to see him and make plans about getting together after work. However, Sam was already in the hall, printing some documents. Brian watched him stand there and thought about how just a few months ago, their only communication was during these short moments when they ran into each other and exchanged a few words. Just ‘hello’ and ‘have a nice day’. They were both afraid to make a move, not knowing how the other one felt. Their eyes and smiles sometimes said more than words. How silly it all seemed now that they were together.

Sam heard someone coming and looked up. His serious expression immediately changed into a grin when he saw his boyfriend.

“Hey, Mr. Carlton!” Sam greeted him with a smile.

“Well hello, Mr. White! Having a busy day?” Brian replied in his serious business tone.

“You sound so sexy when you talk like that,” Sam whispered. “Don’t make me jump on you and kiss you right here.”

“Mmmm sounds tempting,” Brian said and caressed Sam’s cheek with his hand.

“How is your day going, baby?”

“It’s been good. Much better now that I’ve seen you,” Brian said lovingly. “Hey, I wanted to see if you were up to going to my place after work? Or we can do whatever you want…”

“Sure, your place sounds great.”

“Great. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“OK… Doesn’t sound good, should I be worried?”

“No, baby,” Brian smiled to reassure him. “It’s nothing really bad, just… something I wish I didn’t have to deal with. I’ll tell you all about it when we get to my place, OK?”

“OK, babe. See ya then,” Sam gently stroked Brian’s hand before they each turned to go to their office.

Of course, even though Brian told him it was nothing bad, Sam couldn’t stop thinking about it the entire day. He couldn’t concentrate on work at all and was hoping that Maggie wouldn’t notice anything. Luckily, she was too preoccupied with work, so she didn’t really pay attention to Sam. He spent the rest of the work day periodically checking the clock, waiting for the time to leave and go with Brian to his apartment. He was dreading their conversation, but also wanted to get it over with. He was probably just overreacting and overthinking things, as usual. It’s probably nothing big…

When they entered Brian’s home, Sam wanted to sit him down right away and ask him what was wrong, but he controlled himself. As soon as they walked in, he was greeted by Bo, standing there and barking, so he took him to the living room to play with him, while Brian went to change and make coffee.

“Here you go, baby,” Brian came back, carrying two mugs with freshly made coffee, handing one to Sam.

“Thanks, sweetie,” Sam replied. As Brian sat next to him, Sam leaned in and kissed him. He moved closer and sat right next to him, their thighs touching. The coffee was left on the table and forgotten, as the two men engaged in an intense make-out session. Brian put his hands on Sam’s back, stroking it, while Sam’s hands were going up and down Brian’s hard chest.

“I’ve been waiting all day for this,” Brian whispered in Sam’s ear. His voice was such a turn on for Sam.

“Me too… You taste so good,” Sam replied and went right back in for another kiss. He loved the taste of Brian in his mouth, their warm bodies pressed so close together, Brian’s strong hands around him. One by one, pieces of clothing were coming off and the guys took it to the bedroom, where they were much more comfortable.

After their gentle and passionate lovemaking, Brian was laying there, holding Sam in his arms, the two of them completely lost in their own little world. What did he do to deserve such a great guy, such happiness?

While Sam lay with his head on Brian’s chest, he could feel his heart beat. He felt so close to him. Brian gently stroked Sam’s hair, enjoying its softness. Neither wanted to move and leave their comfortable position on the king size bed.

Eventually, they reluctantly got up and got dressed, heading to the dining room to have a snack.

“So,” Sam started, “About that thing you mentioned today… I was gonna ask you when we got here, but you kinda distracted me.” He grinned from ear to ear.

“Haha it was a great distraction, you have to admit.”

“As always.”

“So, about that thing… Remember I told you I had a boyfriend before you? His name is Richard,” Brian started, holding Sam’s hand in his own.

“OK, what about him?” Sam inquired curiously. He was already starting to get nervous. Brian proceeded to tell him briefly about their relationship and why they broke up. It was easier than he thought. Once he started, the words just kept coming. Also, it was easy because it was Sam. Brian felt like he could tell him anything. Sam didn’t judge him, didn’t criticize or shame him. He just listened.

“You guys were together for a long time,” Sam said. “He must’ve meant a lot to you.”

“Well, yeah, he did. But that was then, it’s all in the past now… Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this – other than because I want you to know, I don’t want us to have secrets – is because he called my sister and told her he wanted to come and see me.”

“Oh… So has he come yet?”

“No, not yet. He didn’t say he would, just that he might.”

“I see… And do you want to see him?”

“Not really. I told him all I needed to say back then. I just wanted you to know.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Sam said and leaned in to kiss Brian. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be here for you. Whether you want to see him, talk to him, kick his ass out… We can do the last one together if you want,” Sam said, making Brian chuckle.

“Thanks, babe,” Brian said and gave Sam a big kiss. There he was, already making him feel better.

“So, I shouldn’t be worried?” Sam said half-jokingly as he got up and stood to face Brian.

“Oh, you should be shaking in your pants,” Brian said and spanked Sam’s ass several times.

“Ohhh, I might start liking this!”

--

As he walked back home, Sam’s mind was full of thoughts about Brian and him. Although Brian told him he shouldn’t worry, he couldn’t help it. That’s just how he functions. He never had any luck with guys, so this was a completely new territory for him. All of his past failures made him feel like he wasn’t good enough for anyone. Brian made him feel special, but now he began to question his own worth once again. Was he really good enough for Brian?

Richard was Brian’s boyfriend for 3 years, that means Brian must have loved him. How do you just get over something like that? On the other hand, Brian and he have been going out for barely 2 months. Just like that, all of his insecurities came to the surface and he started to worry.

He trusted Brian completely and had no doubts about his feelings for him, but he didn’t know Richard at all… What if he manages to charm his way back into Brian’s life? What if they become friends and then in time Brian realizes he wants to give them another chance? He couldn’t handle that… His heart would break.

After walking for what seemed to be hours, even though it was only about twenty minutes, Sam stopped in front of a building, took out his cell phone and dialed.

“Hey, I’m in front of your building, you home?”

“Yeah, come on, I’ll let you in.” The building door buzzed and opened, letting Sam in. He climbed two flights of stairs and rang the doorbell.

“Hey, this is a surprise!” Jared said as he opened the door.

“Yeah, sorry… Can I come in?”

Thank you all for reading and I hope you have an amazing day!