Can't Stop These Feelings - 5. Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel:

Over the following weeks, Brad’s studying kept him pretty busy as he only had another month of college left. He was also busy with applying for jobs as a social worker. However, Mitch and he found time for a quaint dinner, or a cup of coffee and texted as often as possible. Brad and Mitch have even gone on a double date a few times with Jesse and Cade, which has made both couples extremely close as friends.

Brad was in his bedroom working on a term paper when Nate came to his room, “What’s up Nate?” He sat his book and paper aside looking at Nate’s nervous demeanor.

Nate shifted from foot to foot, “School’s almost done… huh?” Then he leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest, not making eye contact with Brad.

Brad smiled and motioned Nate to sit by him on the bed, “Ya, school’s almost over bud,” He placed his arm around Nate’s shoulders, “What’s wrong bro?”

“Well…” Nate left out a big sigh, “You’re not leaving or anything right? I know you and Mitch are really close…”

“Nate I have no plans on going anywhere at the moment,” Brad smiled at his brother, “Even if I had plans on moving it wouldn’t change a thing between you and me,” Nate cut him off from talking.

“Yes it would,” Nate was distressed, “Brad you and me do everything together, you’ve been more of a dad to me than the sperm donor ever was,” Nate tried to pull away from Brad to hide his tears, but he pulled Nate into a tight hug.

“I promise when the time comes that I do move away, it won’t be far and you will always have a bedroom to come stay over,” Brad loosened the hug and smiled at Nate, before wiping away his tears.

*****

A few days passed and Marlene was cleaning the house while the boys were doing something together at the park. She had been suffering some headaches recently that would prevent her from doing such things on some days but she shielded the boys from that information as the doctors just told her it was stress. There was a knock at the front door, Marlene opened the door and found a deputy sheriff at the door who was serving a summons for her and both of her sons to appear in court the following Monday to testify against Bart. Marlene took the summons and sat in her chair in the living room with her hands shaking from worry. The boys came rushing through the door joking and shoulder bumping one another around until they saw their Mom.

“Mom?” Brad called out with apprehension, “What’s wrong?” He asked as he knelt down in front of her. Marlene had three summons in her hand, and Brad took them and read the papers.

“Goddammit!” Brad yelled as flopped onto the floor, “I thought we were done dealing with him.”

Nate looked on with curiosity, “Brad what’s goin’ on?” Brad was visibly shaking.

“Nate,” Marlene finally found words, “We have a court hearing for your father on Monday morning,” She wrapped Nate in a hug, “Everything will be okay baby, I promise both of you boys,” Marlene had a severe headache and she didn’t want the boys to notice, “Boys run upstairs and I will make us a nice relaxing dinner," Nate nodded grabbing Brad pulling him up off the floor. Marlene watched the boys climb the stairs and she headed into the kitchen.

Marlene stood in the kitchen cooking some pork chops and frying potatoes, as she got extremely dizzy and passed out.

The boys were in Brad’s room listening to music when the smoke detectors started going off. Brad jumped off the bed running out of the room and down the stairs like he was the comic book hero The Flash. Once he reached the archway to the kitchen he saw Marlene on the floor, “MOM!” Brad knelt down feeling for a pulse which he found, “Nate call 9-1-1, Mom needs help!” Nate called for an ambulance and threw the pans of food in the sink, while never leaving sight of his Mom or Brad.

The ambulance arrived and placed Marlene on the stretcher after checking her vital signs and administering oxygen to her. They provided the boys with no indications as to what was wrong with their Mom.

Brad ran around searching for his car keys, but Nate found them on a table in the foyer of their house underneath the mail. “Brad I found them,” Nate shouted, picking them up shaking them as Brad grabbed them and dragged Nate out the door.

The ride to the hospital for Brad and Nate was extremely quiet and filled with worry.

Once at the hospital, the boys were advised to take a seat in the waiting area, and a doctor would be with them once they had finished their diagnosis.

Nate sat chewing on his fingernails and Brad paced back and forth like a caged animal in a zoo. Nate became irritated watching Brad’s animal-like pacing, “Brad sit down, you’re driving me nuts,” He said with tears trickling down his cheek.

Brad sighed and sat beside Nate looking how distraught his brother was, “Nate, look at me,” Brad placed his hand on Nate’s, “I’m here with you, I’m never leaving you, bro.”

After what seemed like forever to both of the boys, a doctor approached the waiting area, “Harris family?” Brad and Nate stood up and approached the woman, “Follow me please,” She ushered the boys to a small conference room off of the emergency department where the boys introduced themselves. “Please have a seat, I’m Doctor Samms,” Once the boys were seated the doctor cleared her throat, “What I’m about to tell you is quite unsettling for any family, your Mom has suffered a major cerebrovascular accident.” Both boys sat there confused as to what the doctor meant.

Brad rubbed his face, “Doctor I… we… have no clue what that is,” He glanced at Nate and forced a slight smile.

Doctor Samms rubbed her hands together then looked directly at the boys, “In English, your Mom has suffered a severe stroke.” The boys both sat there lost in their thoughts for a few minutes.

“Doctor, can we see our Mom?” Nate was the first to speak, “She’s been under so much stress from what our father has done, it’s his fault…”

Brad reached over squeezing Nate’s forearm, “Nate, let's not bring him up,” Brad looked at the doctor with a look of defeat in his eyes, “I wanna see my Mom, but is she going to be okay?”

“The truth is, even if she survives, she will never be the same the damage done is irreparable. I’m sorry boys, you need to be prepared for what you’re about to see. Your Mom has a lot of machines helping her at the moment. I have a social workers card to give to you, so you can speak with her when you’re ready too.” Doctor Samms led the boys to their mother's room, but they weren’t prepared for what they were about to see.

As they entered the room Nate gasped, Marlene had machines breathing for her, and more tubes and wires than any person could conceivably need for any reason. Nate went weak in the knees, Brad ended up catching him so he didn’t fall.

“Nate are you sure you wanna be here right now?” Brad asked as he held his brother tightly rubbing his back while Nate sobbed into his shoulder. Brad steeled himself, “Come on Nate I need to make a few phone calls, we will come back in a little while.” The nurse in the room gave a sympathetic nod.

Brad led Nate back to the waiting area, before going out the double doors pulling his phone out.

B: Mitch, I need you at hospital, please

M: Are you okay?

B: Yes. No. Idk

M: B there in 15 min

B: Thanks babe

Brad hesitated as he was about to go back in the hospital running his hand over his phone pulling up Jesse’s contact information.

B: Jesse Mom was rushed to hospital

J: Is she ok?

B: No

J: Would it be ok if I came down?

B: Ya, you’re family

J: Cade already turned car around be there in bit

B: Thanks bro

Brad slid his phone back in his pocket and went back in to sit with Nate and began to worry how to keep calm for his brother, “Nate, I promise you no matter what happens I’m always gonna be here for you,” Brad wrapped Nate in a loving hug. Brad knew their lives have been changed forever, in just the blink of an eye the matriarch of their family was slipping from her reign.

Mitch came running into the hospital waiting room and saw both Brad and Nate who looked so lost and defeated, “Brad, what happened?” Brad lost control of his feelings crying hard into Nates shoulder, Mitch knelt down wrapping both of them into a hug letting his love flow into them. “Brad, can you tell me what is happening?” Mitch asked once the crying had subsided.

Brad tried to be stronger than he felt at the moment, “Mom had a severe stroke… they have machines breathing for her,” He shook his head and dropped it into his hands. Nate continued to openly sob uncontrollably, even with Brad and Mitch’s consoling.

Mitch stood up determined he was going to do whatever it took to make Brad and Nate whole again. He looked towards the door seeing Jesse and Cade walking towards the entrance, Mitch excused himself to go talk to them. “Hi, Jesse, Cade, glad you guys came. They are both a wreck Marlene suffered a severe stroke, they need all of us,” He reached out to shake Jesse and Cade’s hands, but they ended up wrapping him in a hug before heading to Brad and Nate. “Could you guys wait with Nate for a bit while I try to get Brad to tell me what we need to do?”

Jesse looked at Nate feeling the pain he was in, “Sure Mitch, we’re all family, we need to make sure they are both okay through all of this.” Jesse and Cade headed over to where Brad and Nate were sitting. Brad stood up and was hugged by both of the guys before he headed over to Mitch. Jesse sat on one side of Nate and Cade sat on the other side placing arms around him. Jesse leaned his head on Nate’s, “Hey man I’m so sorry Nate,” Nate buried his head into Jesse’s chest grabbing his shirt tightly with balled up fists while he cried. Jesse fought from crying while trying to sooth Nate’s pain.

Mitch wrapped an arm around Brad, “Let’s go get a breath of fresh air,” He led Brad to a bench near a tree and they sat down. “Brad what can… what do we need to do now?” Mitch kissed the side of Brad’s head.

Brad sobbed but was grateful to know his boyfriend was with him to support whatever decisions needed to be made, “I’m not even sure, I couldn’t discuss much with the doctor when we went in to see Mom. Nate practically collapsed in her room when he saw the tubes and machines,” He rubbed his forehead, “I guess we need to find the doctor and talk with her.” Brad stood up and pulled Mitch into a hug, “Thanks for being here with us, it means a lot to me,” Brad chastely kissed Mitch and they headed into the hospital to find Doctor Samms.

They made their way into Marlene’s room and found the same nurse still in her room, “Could you ask Doctor Samms to speak with us when she has a moment,” He asked the nurse who kindly nodded and left to find her. Brad sat down and took his Mom’s hand in his, “Mom…” Brad sobbed, “You didn’t have to be so strong for all of us, why didn’t you let us shoulder some of the worries?” Mitch rubbed Brad’s back.

Doctor Samms came into the room a short while later, “Mister Harris, would you feel up to discussing your Mom’s condition?” She looked at Mitch with a sad smile, “We can use the conference room again if you would like to speak privately.”

“No,” Brad grabbed Mitch’s hand, “Doctor Samms this is my boyfriend, I want him here with me,” Doctor Samms nodded and smiled at the pair.

“Unfortunately the last test we ran on your Mom’s brain showed no activity,” Doctor Samms paused, “Your Mom appears to be breathing, but it’s actually the machines keeping her alive. My question is do you want to keep your Mom on the machines?” Brad stiffened at the weight of the decision being placed on his shoulders, Mitch continued rubbing Brad’s back softly.

“Can we all sit with my Mom for a while?” Brad asked Doctor Samms with tears in his eyes, “I just want us all to have a little more time together to be able to say our goodbyes.”

“Certainly, I’ll have a nurse bring in a few drinks for your family. When you guys are ready, let a nurse know and we can come in and shut the machines off and your Mom will appear to just be asleep as she passed peacefully, she will have no pain I assure you,” Doctor Samms reached over and patted Brad’s hand and left the room.

“Mitch, we need to get Nate, Jesse, and Cade so everybody can say goodbye to Mom,” Brad stood up and hugged Mitch, “I can’t thank you enough for being here for me, Mitch you know my Mom really liked you,” He kissed Mitch on the cheek and took his hand to go get the rest of his family.

Brad and Mitch walked hand in hand to the waiting room and found Nate wrapped in hugs from Jesse and Cade, “Nate, Mom’s last tests came back…” Brad sighed as he knelt in front of Nate placing his hand on his knee, “She has no brain activity, the only thing keeping her alive is the machines,” Brad looked at Jesse and Cade before locking eyes with Nate, “We need to say goodbye to Mom, all of us, we’re all family,” Brad stood up pulling Nate up into a hug, “We’re gonna be okay Nate, we have our extended family to be there for us on bad days bud, let’s go see Mom.” Brad wrapped an arm around Nate’s shoulder and Mitch did the same to Brad, as they led Jesse and Cade back to Marlene’s room.

Nate leaned his head on Brad’s shoulder, “I’m scared Brad,” tears trickled down his cheek, “We only have each other, what if something happens to you?” Jesse and Cade’s heart shattered over Nate’s question.

“Nate I’m not going anywhere for a long time man,” the group stopped walking and Brad wiped the tears from Nate’s face, “You’re always gonna be Mom’s little boy, you know that Nate. She was so proud of you from the day you were born, Mom was told she wouldn’t get pregnant after she had me, but you were her miracle. Now we owe it to Mom to live up to her expectations, I’m sure we are gonna make mistakes, but either way, we are doing them together. These other three clowns will supervise us if we get too far off track, right guys?” Mitch, Jesse, and Cade all nodded. Brad tightened his grip on Nate’s shoulder and they finished the short walk to Marlene’s room. As the boys entered the room there wasn’t a dry eye in the group, Nate sat in the chair beside Marlene taking her hand in his.

“Mom,” Nate sobbed, “I wanna thank you for being such a great person,” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he fought with his tears, “I love you, Mom,” He stood up and kissed her on the cheek and backed into the corner of the room sinking down to the floor burying his head in his hands.

Jesse walked up beside Marlene’s bed and bent over whispering into her ear, “Thanks for looking out for me Mom, I’ll watch over Brad and Nate I promise,” He kissed her cheek and walked over to Nate wrapping his arm around the boy.

Cade walked up to Marlene, “You can rest now Mom, the boys will be fine, we are all gonna be here for them,” He rubbed Marlene’s hand and turned walking to Nate and Jesse.

Mitch looked at Brad and then made his way to Marlene’s side bending down to kiss her cheek, “Mom, I promise to take care of both your boys. Although I don’t think any of us will ever be able to cook like you, so we will probably have a lot of takeouts,” Mitch backed up and Brad sat in the chair.

Brad took his Moms hand gently stroking it with his other hand, “Mom,” He choked out, “I can’t thank you enough for the support you gave me after I came out. I felt like my world was ending but you and Nate kept on me, not letting me stay in dark thoughts for very long. The day I asked you about bringing Mitch home for dinner you lit up like it was Christmas at planning the menu, welcoming your third son into the family. Now… I want you to know we will be alright it’s gonna take some time but we have support from our makeshift family. Mom, you can rest now,” Brad stood up and kissed his Mom’s cheek, “I love you, Mom, I’m gonna miss you.” Brad nodded and Mitch went out to let the Nurse know the doctor they had all said their goodbyes.

Mitch came back into the room and wrapped his arm around Brad and they went to stand by the other three as the Doctor and Nurse started switching off the machines and disconnecting wires as Marlene slipped out of this world. The mood in the room was somber as quietness enveloped the room.