Can't Stop These Feelings - 2. Startled Awakening

Can't Stop These Feeling's

Startled Awakening:

As light dawned Brad woke with a lot of confusion, and pain throughout his body, Thoughts of where was he, what happened, why wasn't he in his own bed, ran rampant through his mind.

Brad went to sit up on the bed but gasped as the quick movement stole his breath. He struggled to regain his breath, and looked around the room, seeing his mother in the recliner beside his bed, and Nate in the other bed still had him confused. Brad decided to take inventory of his body wondering what in the hell had happened, he found a cast on his right arm, a weird metal splint over his nose, and lifting the sheets and tugging at his gown he found his stomach really bruised. "What the fuck happened to me," he thought. Rubbing his forehead trying gain any recollection of yesterday was unsuccessful, frightened he cleared his throat, "Mom.... Mom...." Marlene woke with a startle, "Mom what happened to me?"

Marlene had a sense of dread fill over her, while she thought of how to broach the question. After steeling her nerves, she spoke up, "Honey, after you told us you were gay," Marlene whimpered, "Your father, baby," Marlene sobbed, "I'm so sorry baby boy," Brad's Mom wiped the tears from her eyes while she held onto his good hand like a lifeline. "Nate stopped him." She took a deep breath, taking a moment to try and compose herself then she continued, "You have a bunch of injuries baby, a broken nose, a broken arm, three broken ribs, and a badly bruised abdomen baby boy. The doctor said you would be released today, but it's gonna be bed rest for both of you boys once you're home." Marlene tried to smile warmly at her son, patting his hand. "I'm so, very, very sorry. This should never have happened to you," Marlene's words incomprehensible as she completely broke down.

"What do you mean rest for both of us boys Mom?" Brad asked with a puzzled look on his face while glancing towards Nate with concern.

"Brad.... Your father showed up here with a knife, I'm only guessing because I was asleep and it happened so fast," Marlene rubbed her forehead, as anger started to build from deep within her soul. "I think he was going to kill you, son," She had rage in her eyes like a mother bear would protecting its cubs. "Nate blamed himself for you getting hurt, so he insisted on sitting in this chair and protecting you from god knows what. When your father showed up with the knife, Nate told him off and lunged for the knife, he will be fine though." Marlene took hold of Brad's hand rubbing it, as tears were threatening to fall from both of their eyes.

"I need to check on Nate, Mom, can you help me get over to him?" Brad gasped as he was struggling to get out of bed until his Mom reached under his shoulders gently helping him get up. Brad gingerly made his way to Nates bed and found a spot he could lay beside him. "Hey, Nate... Nate...." Nate opened then rubbed his eyes, once he was alert he wrapped his arm over Brad. "I just wanted to tell you how much I love and appreciate you Nate, and none of this was your fault, actually I owe you a thank you for saving my life. You know, if anything had happened to you from risking your life to protect me, I couldn't live with myself if something had taken you away from me. Besides I'm supposed to be protecting you Nate, not the other way around little man." Brad was openly crying while he continued to hold and hug his brother. After a while, Brad raised Nates head and looked into his eyes before asking, "Nate are you ok, I mean this whole damn situation has me scared shitless and you getting hurt.... Well, let's just say it's killing me each time I look at you because you got hurt protecting me."

Nate looked at his brother with tears threatening to burst at any moment, "Brad, I wasn't letting that asshole hurt you again. The first time I froze because I couldn't believe what he did to you, but this time I knew what he was capable of and when I saw that knife, I was stopping him no matter what I had to do." He said looking at Brad with determined glistening eyes, that proved he meant what he said.

Marlene walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, "Boys I am proud of the both of you, what you boys have survived shows me how strong you both are. I won't ever let your father near either of you for the rest of my life." Marlene rubbed both boys' backs, letting her motherly love flow.

"So, what's gonna happen to him?" Brad asked leaving a confused look on her face.

Marlene rubbed her forehead showing signs of fatigue, before she figured out what Brad was talking about, "You mean your father?" Brad nodded, not wanting to say anything else. "Honey, I am sure they will have a court hearing, and eventually a trial, but I am pretty sure he will be in jail for a long time." Marlene hoped she put his concerns to rest, although she knew any hearing the boys had to participate in would be difficult, her heart was breaking for her son's having to endure all of the terrifying events they faced.

Brad sighed and visibly relaxed, "Mom, I don't have a father no more, his actions towards Nate made my decision." Laying his head down beside Nate's, he smiled towards his brother.

Nate grinned, "Damn right his actions towards you made my decision, he isn't my father either." Nate reached over and hugged Brad again.

"Nathaniel John, I have had enough of the language and given you leeway, but that's about enough of it for me," Marlene spoke up authoritatively, and then she smirked at him, as he hid his face into Brad's shoulder.

"Yes Mommy," Nate said in the cutest tone he could muster as he cracked up laughing, even though he knew his Mom was serious he couldn't resist getting the last laugh.

Marlene was going to lecture Nate on his childish antic's, but the doctor walked in carrying a handful of papers. He cleared his throat, "So are you young men ready to go home?" Both of them nodded affirmatively. "Alright, so the both of you will be on rest for a while, Bradley you are to take it very easy for the next month, and you Nathaniel have ten days of behaving yourself. I have your papers all signed," the doctor shoving papers in front of Brad, "Brad sign here...." He moved the paperwork to Marlene for her signature, "Marlene I need you to sign here for Nate." The doctor picked up the signed paperwork heading toward the door pausing, "Okay, well your chariots are here now so let's get you out of here." Nate hopped out of bed with an evil eye from his Mom and the doctor and made his way around the bed to help Brad up out of bed. "So, tell me were these two always this close?" The doctor asked as he turned towards Marlene as she smiled and nodded towards both of her babies. Both boys sat in their chariots awaiting departure joking around. Then two volunteers pushed them to the entrance, where a waiting Marlene was located.

Pulling into the driveway of their house everybody noticed Brad tense up, Nate hopped out and went to Brad's door helping him out of the car and draped an arm around his waist, walking him to the front door. Marlene opened the door and went inside, the boys made it into foyer and Brad froze in place looking at the wall where the asshole had pinned him to the wall, which was splattered with blood and the floor had a dried pool of blood and handprints on it. Nate felt Brad begin to shake, "Remember Brad, he can never hurt you again, and if he could I wouldn't let him." Nate smiled and nudged him towards the stairs leading to their bedrooms.

Once upstairs Nate got Brad into bed, "Do you need anything, how about a pain pill, or water?" Nate hovered over him with a loving look, waiting for an answer.

"No thanks Nate, I'm good, go get yourself some rest." Brad smiled warmly towards Nate’s retreating figure, thinking how blessed he is to have him for a brother. Laying his head back on the pillow, he slowly drifted off into a restful slumber.

At around 3 PM there was a knock at the front door, Marlene opened the door to a frantic looking Jesse. “Mrs. Harris is Brad, okay, when he didn't show up at the party I got worried. I’ve been trying to call him ever since, but he isn’t answering!” Jesse hurriedly asked almost as a plea looking for an answer.

“Honey, he’s pretty banged up and hurt, but he will be ok given some time, Brad’s either in his room or Nate’s since we got home from the hospital. I really haven’t heard a noise from either of them. You can go on up and check on them, let them know dinner will be in two hours I made pot roast, and of course, you're welcome to stay too.” Marlene looked at the still concerned Jesse and motioned him up the stairs. Jesse almost flew up the stairs, Marlene was surprised he didn’t injure himself.

Jesse opened the door to Brad’s room, and saw he was sleeping, he quietly shut the door and walked over to Brad’s bed and sat down. Looking at his friend he saw how battered he was and tears escaped his control for his boyhood friend. Jesse reached out and caressed Brad’s cheek, and then smoothed out his shaggy blonde hair. Brad stirred and winced looking at his now distraught friend, who was trying to steel himself but failing miserably. “Brad, what the hell happened to you, who did this to you? You’ve never fought anybody, not even in school, you were always the peacemaker, and there for everybody.” Jesse looked at Brad and was unable to hold back his tears.

Brad looked at Jesse knowing he had to tell him the truth, they’ve been friends since kindergarten, hiding from him wasn't something he could do any longer. "Jesse, you need to know why the shit that happened did, yesterday I faced my fears and.... Well.... I'm gay, and my father couldn’t accept me for who I am." He looked to Jesse searching for a glimpse into his soul.

"Brad.... I love you dude, you're my best friend and nothing is going to change that." Jesse reached over and hugged his best friend, as the hug broke he kissed Brad's cheek.

"How is Nate doing?" Jesse asked as he glanced out the window, trying to figure if he should tell Brad about his boyfriend, thinking maybe today wasn't the best way to do it.

Brad looked at Jesse knowing something wasn't right between them, "Nate is ok, Jesse what's up man? I know something isn't right, so don't tell me it's nothing." Brad knew it had nothing to do with him coming out, but what was it he worried.

Jesse looked at Brad apprehensively, debating what he should do, and finally, he shook his head and looked to his feet ashamed of what he had to tell Brad. "Um.... I didn't want you to find out this way." Jesse wiped a stray tear that ran down his cheek, "I was planning on introducing you to my boyfriend Cade, at the party last night but you never made it dude. I feel so bad even telling you this now." Jesse rubbed Brad's arm and glanced out the window feeling ashamed.

Brad cocked his head to the side trying to hide tears that escaped, knowing he had to accept and be happy for Jesse. "Jesse, I am happy you found somebody to make you a happy man, I love you dude, you're the best." Brad worked up the strongest smile he could provide as he felt his heart breaking.

Jesse shook off the guilt he had, and looked towards Brad, "So, anybody that catches your eye as far as wanting to date?" This was one of those moments where you were damned if you do, and damned if you didn’t. He knew deep down he loved Brad, but he was committed to Cade and couldn't hurt him.

Brad cleared his thoughts and smiled. "Nah, I guess I really just haven't thought much about it yet. I mean yesterday was basically hell on earth, and well today I really haven't done much other than coming home and sleep." Brad knew that he omitted the truth, but it wouldn’t change the outcome.

"Well, I can set you up with a few people I know, once you're better. I mean blind dates aren't my specialty, but I can try for you man." Jesse said with a neutral look on his face. "So, I guess girl's hearts all across Bedford are breaking today now that the Bradster is a male-only playdate," He joked, making Brad smile.

"I've kept everything to myself up until yesterday, other than Nate." Brad looked toward the wall away from Jesse, "Nate thought Mom and Dad would be alright with me being gay, all that got me was a hell, of a beating." He said bitterly, "This shit isn't gonna stop me or change my feelings, I'm me and anybody that doesn't like it can go to hell." Brad winced as pain shot through his body from talking so much.

Jesse reached over and touched Brad's arm with concern, "Brad, are you ok, do you need me to get you something, or would you like me to get your Mom?"

Brad nodded, "Can you go ask my Mom for my pain medicine?" Jesse bolted out of the room before responding. He flew through the bedroom door like a lightning bolt, with a medicine bottle in one hand and a glass of ice water in the other smiling like a Cheshire cat handing him the pill bottle first. "Thanks, man," Brad took the little brown bottle pulling out a pill from within it and placing the container on the nightstand. Jesse then handed him the ice water, and Brad took the pain medication. Leaning his head back on the pillow, within minutes the pain started to dissipate, and Brad drifted off to sleep.

Jesse sat there staring at his best friend while he slept, wondering what might have been, had he not agreed to date Cade. But his thoughts were interrupted after a while, when Brad screamed, "No... Jesse...." Jesse cradled him in his arms whispering soothingly, "Dude it's ok man, you just had a bad dream, just relax and go to back to sleep." Smoothing Brad's hair out Jesse kissed Brad's forehead and crawled out of the bed. Walking towards the door to leave Jesse paused, and turned to face Brad whispering, "I love you Dude." Jesse walked out the door and gently closed it.

Brad whispered, "I love you too." And turned over in bed, without Jesse ever realizing he wasn't asleep. Brad now knew his friend truly did love him in that moment. A knock came from the door thinking it was Jesse, Brad said, "It's open."

Nate came in looking relaxed and smiling, "You ready for some dinner? Mom made a tray up for you and had me bring it up, the stuff is delicious." He beamed with pride, as Brad uncovered a plate which contained pot roast with potatoes, carrots, and onion. "Oh, there was a side of Lemon Meringue pie but I thought it looked dangerous, so I had to check it to make sure it was safe, and well now there is none left." Nate chuckled and dashed out the door, leaving Brad sitting there shaking his head.

"Thanks, bro, remind me to beat you when I feel better." Brad joked hoping his brother heard him. Nate eventually returned carrying a slice of pie for Brad. "Thought you finished the last of the pie?" He asked quizzically, smiling at Nate.

"Well, you know I was only looking out for you, with you being stuck in bed, and stuff. I just didn't want you to get all fat, after all, you need help getting out of the bed as it is." Nate smirked to Brad and sat beside him on the bed.

Brad looked at Nate, "So what's on your mind bud, I can tell something is spinning around in there." He tapped his finger on Nate's head and smiled lovingly.

"Well I know Jesse was here earlier, are you ok? I mean.... you know he is gay, and you're gay, and well...." Nate looked at the floor, from embarrassment.

"Ya, I'm fine, I told him the truth," Brad sighed, "He has a boyfriend too which sucks, but can't change that." He looked at Nate with a sad expression on his face, "You know things could have been so different if I hadn't hidden who I was for so long."

"Things will work out Brad, you just have to believe." Nate smiled at Brad.