Soul Music: Love Encountered - 12. Two's a couple

It had been a nerve-shredding week. Geoff was glad it was the weekend. What with the build-up to his job interview, and the news about Tony's ex, he was feeling both tired out and on edge.

He was loading his car with what appeared to be every percussion instrument he possessed. Fortunately the weather was dry, although rain was forecast later. It was some kind of three-dimensional puzzle. Trying to fit everything in, and still be able to close all the car doors – never mind see anything useful through his rear-view mirror. Walton's Belshazzar's Feast was the main work, together with the same composer's Coronation Te Deum. Big pieces, and Walton always wrote well for percussion – unlike some he could name. Geoff was looking forward to it. The only cloud hanging around was because of the choir – it was Tony's. This was the first time they'd coincided for a concert since the fateful Messiah performance the previous November, and he was nervous.

Both men had talked about it, but hadn't reached any conclusion. Were they going to act like any other acknowledged couple, or not? Of course, they weren't going to put on a display of kissing, but Geoff still felt uncomfortable about the two of them being at all demonstrative in public. Wasn't he letting Tony down, as usual? His boyfriend wouldn't have a problem. So why did he? Geoff sighed. It wasn't that simple. Never mind that the news might get back to his mother, he wasn't sure he was ready to declare his sexuality in such a way. The fact he was a gay man wasn't hidden. No … but it was part of his make-up to feel embarrassed and the centre of attention whenever anything personal about him became public. Geoff remembered the one and only time the orchestra had played Happy Birthday for him at a rehearsal. Other people passed it off with aplomb. Him? He'd wished the staging had swallowed him up.

Geoff imagined the likely comments – the brass section would be their usual bantering selves. From the rest of the orchestra, there would be questions, lots of them, well-meaning but intrusive, which would make him cringe. He couldn't pass them all off to Tony. Geoff scowled, partly at himself. He was proud to be Tony's boyfriend, wasn't he? Their love was as real as another couple's. Yet he'd be even more tongue-tied and embarrassed than usual. He sighed, and continued with the job in hand. … There, finally. Success! He'd found one last nook for the piece of automotive scrap metal that doubled as an anvil. One day, his car's suspension would give up the ghost entirely. Was that everything? A moment spent ticking things off his mental list. Yes, thank God. He got into the car. Tony was his first call – he was going to collect his lunch on the way as he had to be at the venue hours before the chorus. Maybe Tony would have the answers to his questions?

Tony was singing snatches of Belshazzar's Feast as he moved around the kitchen, making their food for the day. He was trying a Moroccan-influenced couscous with cold roast chicken. The aromas were already getting his mouth watering. What an amazing piece of music it was – an oratorio, yes, but not so the Victorians would recognise. It was something composed in the jazz age, taking most of its rhythmic drive from the then new music. Some of the choir members had found it difficult, like Ted Rushton, the older man who usually sat next to him. Tony grinned as he recalled some of Ted's swearing – he had an extensive vocabulary. His fellow tenor had got there in the end. Their choir director was an efficient, effective worker, getting a lot done during each rehearsal.

The doorbell rang. It was Geoff, of course. Tony smiled to himself. It really was time they exchanged keys – their relationship had already got much further than that. He'd suggest it when they got back, but first, there was something else he wanted to put to his man.

Geoff came in and collapsed in a heap on one of the kitchen chairs.

“God, I already feel I've done a day's work.” He sighed theatrically. “Only the unloading to go, and assembling, and taking it down … Never mind actually using the stuff to make music.”

Tony chortled. “Rubbish! It's all entirely self-inflicted, and you love it. Stop complaining.”

He handed his boyfriend a mug of coffee and a couple of home-made biscuits.

“Hnh! Bloody singers. What would you know about it? All you've got to do is get yourself there. And our food. Mustn't forget that.”

Tony made an elaborate bow. “It is my privilege and honour to prepare your lordship's meals.”

Geoff nearly snorted a mouthful of coffee over the table. Once he'd recovered from the subsequent coughing and spluttering, Geoff was at pains to thank his boyfriend.

“You are wonderful to do all that. I, and my stomach, thank you most heartily.”

Tony, again busy at the chopping board, turned and smiled, then held his arms out in invitation. Geoff gazed lovingly back for a moment before getting swiftly to his feet to give his man a long hug, interspersed with kisses. Tony was the one to draw away first.

He smirked. “For a man who was completely knackered not ten minutes ago, you moved very smartly just then.”

Geoff pretended to consider for a moment. “Well … the incentive was good. Very good, in fact. And the possibilities for a repeat performance?”

They were good, as it turned out. This time, Geoff disengaged first. He had his questions to ask, and time was moving on.

“Tony, love …”

An eyebrow went up – he wasn't used to Geoff employing endearments.

“Ehm … how're we going to play this afternoon? Us as a couple, I mean.” Geoff blushed and looked away slightly.

Tony had given that some thought. None of his previous boyfriends had taken any interest in his musical activities so the issue had never arisen. He didn't hide his sexuality, just as he didn't parade around either. So if he arrived one day for choir practice with a boyfriend in the background, it shouldn't be any great surprise to such members of the choir who might care. Geoff however, was in a rather different situation.

“Give me a minute, Geoff.”

Tony moved back to his food prep, quickly boxed everything up and got it ready to go.

“OK …” A quick glance at the kitchen clock. “We've got some time, haven't we?”

“Err … yeah.”

“Come and sit down. … Is this about your mum, Geoff?” Tony couldn't help wishing that Geoff would tell his mum he was gay. He wanted to get to know Geoff's only near relation. Meeting new people was something he enjoyed. … That was for another day.

Geoff flushed with guilt. “Yes … but ehm … also, well, everyone. They don't know I'm …”

“A gay man?”

A nod.

“That's apart from Helen. She gonna be there?”

“She better be.”

Tony sniggered. “OK … Think of it this way, love. It's a large orchestra. Do you take note when one of the violins arrives with someone new? Do you even know how many have partners?”

Geoff looked puzzled. “No … I'm usually too busy to take note of the general orchestral gossip.”

“So why think that you're different from the rest? They're also busy with their own lives, problems. Those who do notice will be happy for you, if they have any sense. Since you've never appeared with a partner at all, the fact that it's another man, won't figure so much.”

“They might be jealous.” Geoff was trying to make a joke.

“And they should be when they see me with my gorgeous, sexy boyfriend.”

Geoff rolled his eyes.

“How about we make it low key, and see what happens?”

Geoff replied with a small smile. Those particular butterflies were adding to the ones already in his guts.

“It'll be fine, love. It's our life, not theirs.” Tony changed the subject slightly. “You coming back here afterwards? I know you've got to unload first. I thought we might make some more progress on the getting to know each other?” An inviting smile.

“Oh … err … Such as?”

“Well …” Tony decided to take his time. “I keep on thinking of things I'd like to say to you while I'm in bed.”

“So do I.” Geoff was blushing again.

“And sometimes when I've been dreaming about you, I turn over, and wish ever so much that you were there, next to me …”

Geoff was turning a warm crimson as he nodded in agreement.

“So, I thought, how about we take the plunge? Try sharing our beds. Yours or mine.”

There was a short silence.

“But I … ehm … I thought we'd have to … make love before … well … And my bed's a single.” Geoff's redness was now from embarrassment. “Ehm … When my mother moved house, she took her marital bed with her. That left me with the single I've slept in since I was a teenager. I've never before thought there'd be any reason to buy anything larger. …” He cleared his throat. “It's about time I replaced the mattress. So perhaps it's time to change everything – bed, duvet, linens.”

“Dearest Geoff, who's to say what we do when? Don't forget I offered back when you'd first had the news about your job.” Tony reached out to hold Geoff's hands in his. “Sharing will help you. It'll help us. If you're ready, of course.”

The previous weekend, a few items of outer clothing had been shed when they were together on the sofa. Certainly no bare flesh where it really mattered. Tony sensed that Geoff was resisting going any further. Not to be awkward or cause frustration, but more from his usual insecurity and embarrassment. If they were in a different situation together, like being in bed, Tony hoped it would make things easier. He did so want to caress his boyfriend's skin all over. And kiss it.

“What d'you feel about it?”

Geoff took a moment, then nodded. “I'll give it a go. We could always go shopping for a new bed. I need one anyway. Ehm …”

Visions of them both trying out beds in the city's department store, made Geoff squirm with both happiness and anxiety.

“Yes, we could. I'd enjoy that. … If you change your mind when you get back tonight, love, that's fine. The spare bed's always available. But I hope you don't.” Keeping his desire in check was getting increasingly difficult. He was only human. If Geoff agreed, Tony was hoping for more rapid progress.

Uncertain, Geoff smiled briefly. So many thoughts were going round in his head. Stupid ones. Like, did he snore? What if he farted in bed? He'd be nervous so it was more likely to happen …

Tony looked at him with affection, then got up to sort food out for Geoff – he'd need his lunch when he arrived at the concert hall. Singers got to eat theirs at home.

Helen and Geoff were unloading his car in their efficient, well-oiled way. Geoff did the crawling around in the back of the estate, passing the stuff back to Helen. She in her turn, passed it on to other members of the section who carried it onto the stage. It was a luxury having so many people – often it was only the two of them, or three at the most. It didn't take long before Geoff was handing out the last things. He joined Helen in sitting on the sill of the boot for a quick breather. They couldn't be too long or the rest of the section would complain.

Geoff decided this was as good a time as any to warn Helen about Tony's appearance at the rehearsal.

“Thanks for your help. It took a lot less time to unload than it did to get everything in.”

Helen snorted. “You should get your man to help you. Tell him it's good for muscle development, or something.”

“Yeah … and good for wrecking backs, if you're not careful.” Hauling the xylophone parts around earlier had set off a twinge.

“Hnh … tell me about it. I'm always surprised how much you cram into there.” Helen craned round to look at the car's interior. “You sure it doesn't have Tardis tendencies?”

Helen was a Dr Who fan.

Geoff chuckled. “Yes, I'm sure. More's the pity. I thought I wasn't going to get everything in.” He took a breath. “Ehm … Helen?”

“Yeah?”

“You'll have a chance to meet Tony later.” Geoff felt himself colouring as usual. “He's singing in the choir.”

“Oh, wow! I'll finally get to meet your other half.” Helen almost bounced up and down on the sill. “I only exchanged a few words with him, after you'd had that …”

“Falling out?”

“Well, yeah, if that's what you want to call it.”

Helen looked sideways at her friend. She now had a wicked grin on her face. Geoff cringed inwardly.

“So … you gonna kiss and cuddle in public?”

“No!”

“Awh … spoilsport.” Helen gave Geoff a quick squeeze. “Seriously, you OK? This the first time for you both as a couple?”

Geoff nodded.

“Good. Don't worry. It'll be fine. If I hear anything I shouldn't, I'll deal with it.”

Her companion winced.

“Hey! I can do diplomatic … sometimes.” Helen smirked, then gave her friend a peck on the cheek. “Those people who care about you will be very happy. The rest? Well, sod them. Yeah?”

“Yeah. I suppose so.” Geoff stood up and rubbed his backside. The sill of an estate car was not really designed to be sat on.

“OK, we'd better go and help set up. Otherwise you know as well as I do, Phil is perfectly capable of screwing up the most straightforward of layouts.”

“And this is far from the most straightforward.”

They both exchanged looks before heading off.

Ted Rushton was already in his choir seat, twenty minutes before the rehearsal was due to start. He was keeping an eye out for his usual singing partner. With Belshazzar's Feast and its attendant difficulties, he didn't want to be suddenly next to someone else. Where was he? It was unlike Tony to leave it right to the last minute – he was more organised than that. Ted started flicking through his copy of the Walton, looking for those bits he still needed to work on. He was humming under his breath as he read through one section, when his eye was caught by something.

Ted looked up, to see Tony close by, talking to another man. Tony was clearly just about to head to his choir seat, but there was something about their conversation which made the older man think. He couldn't hear anything that was being said between the two. It was more their physical closeness, the smiles, looks, and there, the briefest of touches … It might've been many a long year since he and his missus had got close up and personal. Still, he was perfectly capable of recognising a newly-paired couple when he saw one. Now … Tony was a dark horse, wasn't he? Not a word at any of their rehearsals, or in the pub afterwards. Ted watched as Tony's … boyfriend left him and made his way towards the front of the stage. Orchestra? Seemed like it.

Ted thought for a moment. Was he bothered by Tony being involved with another man? No, he wasn't. He had little knowledge or experience of the gay world, and wasn't sure he wanted more. However, he'd seen enough misery, hate, and grief over the years – love and affection in any form were to be welcomed. Whether it was fresh and new like Tony's, or old and companionable like his own. He and his missus might not kiss or fool around any more – that didn't mean they were any less fond of each other.

“Afternoon, Ted.”

The brisk, cheerful voice made the older man jump slightly. He'd been miles away.

“Blimey, Tony. Sneaking up on me like that. You nearly gave this old man palpitations.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “It'll take more than that to see you off, Ted Rushton.”

They both laughed. Tony sat down and started to get his music sorted. His companion cleared his throat. Tony stopped what he was doing and looked up.

“You can call me a nosy old bugger if you want to …”

Tony guessed pretty much what was coming next, though Ted's reaction to it was still a little in doubt.

“But that young man you were just talking to, he seemed to be someone special …?” Ted left the question hanging.

“Yes, Ted. He's my boyfriend.” Tony believed in being direct.

“I thought as much. Good for you. Orchestra, is he?”

Tony nodded, feeling relieved Ted was taking it so well.

“Well, us musicians have to stick together. Wouldn't mind being introduced one day – not as competition, you understand.”

Tony chortled at the glint in the older man's eye. “I should think so. Otherwise, there might be trouble. Yeah, I'll introduce you someday soon. Geoff is quite shy, and he's nervous about today. It's the first time we've been at a gig together since we met.”

Cogs started turning in Ted's mind. Then he remembered a snatch of conversation.

“Did you first meet at the Messiah performance by any chance?”

“Yeah …” Tony was curious.

“Only I've just brought something to mind. You sitting here, last November, bemoaning your single state. Didn't take long for that to change, did it?”

“I'm a fast worker, Ted.” Tony sniggered briefly. “No. Seriously, I'm a very lucky man.”

Ted was now cleaning his glasses. “Hmm … it does sound serious. … Anyway, I hope he won't get in the way of you concentrating. I need you as well, you know. I don't stand much chance of getting through this damn thing otherwise …” Ted put his glasses back on, and glared at the Belshazzar score. “Without you, I'm lost.”

Tony shook his head and smiled. “Ted, I'm well aware of my responsibilities. We'll do just fine.”

At the end of nearly three hours of concentrated rehearsal, everyone was released finally for their tea. Singers and instrumentalists alike streamed off the stage in search of refreshments. Geoff hovered at the side of the stage, trying to be inconspicuous. He wasn't sure whether he should stay where he was, go looking for his boyfriend, or head straight for the choir room. Tony wasn't immediately in sight. They hadn't arranged a rendezvous, probably because they both expected to meet up straight away. Briefly, Geoff chewed at his fingernails. Whatever he decided would be wrong as usual. Then he was annoyed at himself for being indecisive.

He was about to make up his mind when Tony appeared from the other side of the stage, hurrying through the row of choir seats. He was smiling broadly.

“Oh, I'm sorry, Geoff. Got waylaid.”

Geoff 's relief and happiness were instant. Tony gave him a swift peck on the cheek – the stage area was largely clear of people.

“You OK?” Tony looked more closely at Geoff.

“Yeah. Sorry. I was feeling a little on edge. Nothing to worry about.”

“Hmm?” Tony wanted to hug his man close. Instead, he let his eyes do the talking, offering affection and reassurance.

“It's fine, honestly. Sometimes I can't help being me – however hard I try.”

“You are doing so well, love.” Disbelieving look. “You are. You know that yourself.” Reluctant acknowledgment. “Anyway, I don't know about you, but I'm starving.”

Both men hurried off stage in the direction of their food.

Geoff was sitting in the orchestra's changing room with their tea, while Tony went to the gents for a quick blood sugar test. The choir room was heaving with people as it was raining outside, so the orchestra room it was. Most players took the opportunity to go to the pub to eat. Geoff was tempted to open the plastic food containers. Just to look, not to sneak a few surreptitious bites ahead of his boyfriend. He was peering down into the bag when someone approached.

“Where is he then? The boyfriend.”

“What? … Helen.” Geoff glared at his friend. She been quite loud. He quickly glanced round the room. It was large, and the people were scattered, fortunately. Nobody appeared to be taking any notice.

Helen sat down next to him, looking entirely unrepentant. “Well?”

“If you must know, Tony's doing one of his diabetes things. He'll be out in a minute.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember you saying. You OK with it?”

“Do I have any choice?” Geoff shrugged. “It scares me, but Tony is sensible. He eats properly, monitors himself, and attends all the hospital appointments. It's part of the package – I can't have him as a boyfriend without it. He regards it as something he just has to live with. Me? Well, it's still quite new for me, I suppose. I'm learning all the time – yesterday, Tony had to go for an eye test. He has one every year because the wretched disease can cause sight loss.”

Helen, who'd been listening while unpacking her own food, stopped what she was doing, and reached out to give her friend a one-arm hug.

“You'll be an invaluable support for your boyfriend, Geoff.”

“He is already.” Tony had appeared from nowhere. He turned to Helen. “Hi, you must be Helen – we met once briefly, didn't we? I'm the boyfriend.”