Pride Month, and other Haibun - 4. Nonchalant

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Nonchalant

Haibun

I recently had a heated discussion with a closed-minded ‘skeptic.’ We were talking about all the men and women of Science whose ground-breaking discoveries were ignored at first, and then openly mocked to the point these professionals’ careers were ruined, only to be proven correct years, sometimes decades, later. I quoted to this friend of mine Arthur Schopenhauer’s thoughts on the subject, namely: “Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first it is ridiculed, in the second it is opposed, in the third it is regarded as self-evident.”

As if almost on cue, he rejected this new-to-him mode of thinking, saying he does not believe it, that “every truth” does not have to pass through these phases. The example with which he countered Schopenhauer was telling time, and that people don’t ridicule it. So then I asked him what time it was. “2:30.” “Wrong,” says I. “It’s 1:30, but the belief in the madness of Daylight Savings makes us feel we’re always one hour behind.”

Belief gets confused –

Our will to impose order

Substitutes the truth

With what is most comfortable,

Even if it’s only faith.

◇ ◇ ◇

As summer starts again, I’m drawn back into contemplation on the journey new ideas must take. And how one particular June, a few years ago now, my mother mailed me something wrapped in a page of my hometown newspaper. Mildly curious, I uncrumpled it and looked it over. With nearly unbelieving eyes, I scanned the marriage announcements and read the names of two separate same-sex couples. Holding the paper, I nearly burst into tears. The State of Illinois had passed marriage equality legislation, and June 1st was the date set for it to begin.

Did I ever even think

I’d live long enough

To see ‘me’ represented,

Honored

Equalized

By my hometown newspaper…

No, but there ‘I’ was

And happy families

And their friends could see it too

Treated

As equals

On the best day of their lives.

◇ ◇ ◇

Thrilled by it, I asked my mom to see if she could get me an entire copy of that edition to keep as a memento of Pride. She had to call the North County News directly, but got me my full copy, which I keep in my bookcase.

Since then, I’ve eagerly awaited each Wednesday, and marveled and gloried at the appearance of every Gay couples’ names, remembering how hard we had to work to get to Schopenhauer’s “self-evident.” How the Supreme Court in 1972 told Richard Baker and James Michael McConnell they had no legal standing to ‘legalize’ their church marriage; to Richard Adams and Tony Sullivan who fought to likewise have their Colorado marriage of 1975 recognized by the U.S. Department of Justice. The official response the couple received – written in the name of every American taxpayer, including Gay ones – said quote “Two Faggots cannot get married.”

Holmes said the view of a bigot

Works like the pupil of the eye –

The more light that’s shined onto it,

The more it’s likely to contract.

So, our simple truth of love was ridiculed, and then opposed. But what about acceptance…the kind that has no awkward self-awareness?

◇ ◇ ◇

By June of this year, it’s been several since Illinois’ summer of marriage equality, and even a couple years after gaining national legal standing. I think back to watching the television coverage live from the Supreme Court; Justice Anthony Kennedy christened the new age by saying of the 1972 case, “Baker v. Nelson must be, and now is, overruled.” He was saying Gay people were conclusively equal under the law, at long last.

I continue to receive my hometown paper, and finally see the third step is reached. An article appearing in the May 10th edition mentions the Fire Department holding a “Fun Day” to raise funds and accept thanks for being our first responders. The 4th place couple in the rounds of friendly competition, a fireman and his husband, were photographed standing in total ease, all smiles and holding hands.

So, no. Did I think I’d live long enough? No.

But how glad my heart is to see Whitman’s lines come true in my time, in the heart of the place that formed me. As he said, the self-evident is the best sight of all.

Oh, the cityscape! You frequent

And swift flash of eyes

Offering me love,

Offering me the response

Of my own – these repay me.

Lovers unending

Only repay me.

Yet comes one, a city boy,

And when we must part,

Kisses me lightly,

Yet still full of robust love.

And I in pub or crosswalk,

Kiss him in return.

American men,

We are those two natural,

And fine nonchalant persons.^[1]

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