Three Strikes - 18. Shane Simpleton and Donovan Difficult

He was sitting on the ground with his back against the front door. As I approached him, I saw he had a book or something in his hands. I was trying to get a better look at it when he held it up to me—it was the coloring book I’d given him a few weeks back.

“I guess I still need practice. I’m not good at staying within the lines.”

He stood and smiled sadly as he moved so I could unlocked the door. It was kinda sweet that he still had the coloring book I’d given him as a joke.

He even referenced to the fact he’d messed up, and he was doing it in the most adorable way. After I pushed the door open and walked in, I noticed he hadn’t followed me, so I turned around to see what the holdup was and that’s when I saw the hesitancy on his face.

“Well? Are you coming in or are we going to talk through the door?”

I continued with my task and set my keys on their usual spot. Without looking at him, I gestured to the living room and then walked to the kitchen to get glasses of water for each of us. The house was exceptionally quiet as I shuffled around and it felt as if every move I made was echoing louder than scientifically possible.

By the time I walked back into the living room, Shane was sitting on the couch, fidgeting with his hands—obviously uncomfortable or nervous. He happily accepted the water and watched me as I sat down sideways, so I faced him. I was ready to talk it out and see what would happen. After a moment of awkward silence, we both started talking at the same time, we laughed, and I zipped my lips as I gestured for him to continue.

His eyes were locked on mine and the emotion in them was pure and sincere.

“I came over right away.”

“I know, I saw you.”

“You knew I was coming to talk to you?”

“Yes.”

His eyes narrowed. “You saw my calls, you knew I was coming to talk to you, yet you ignored me?”

“Well, yeah. I was upset.”

“I got that much. It was obvious I said something that bothered you, and as soon as I realized something was wrong I tried to do something about it, but you took the chance away from me. I wish you would’ve talked to me. An adult conversation would’ve been nice, but instead, I spent all day beating myself up.”

He looked genuinely hurt as he sat there next to me.

“Think about it, Donovan. How would you feel if you accidentally upset me and I stormed off without an explanation or a chance to talk about it?”

“It wouldn’t bother me. I’d understand you were upset and I’d let you go,” I casually lied through my teeth.

Obviously, I’d be upset. As much as I hated it, I did understand his point. We were fresh off of the box and there was so much to learn about each other. Instead of explaining to him what had upset me, I cut him out. I hated that he had a point, I hated that I was wrong, and I hated that I didn’t know what to do about it.

“Okay. Well, I’m gonna to go then,” he said when I didn’t respond.

I panicked as he got off of the couch and started walking toward the door. I scooted so I was sitting on the edge of the couch, facing Shane, and fumbled for the right words.

“What? Where are you going?”

He looked at me with confusion. “It doesn’t bother you, so why do you care? Aren’t you going to let me go since you’re so...understanding and all?”

The sarcasm was dripping from his words. I didn’t realize Shane had graduated college with a degree in theatrics and applied debate. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to win much with him unless I actually had a solid case so I got up, quickly walked toward him, and tried to stop him before he got out of the door.

“Okay, okay! I get it! Can you sit back down and talk?”

I pulled him back to the couch and shoved him down. He was wearing a self-satisfied grin as he waited for me to speak.

“Maybe you don’t realize you do it, but you keep making rude comments about about me, about my sexuality, and it pisses me off. It’s the reason I didn’t like you when I first met you. It’s the reason I’m hesitant to see where things go with you. It comes off as bigoted. At least, that’s how it makes me feel.”

“But it’s the same thing you and your friends say to each other all of the time.”

“Yeah, except they’re my best friends and they’ve earned the trust and respect to say dumbass shit. Plus, they’re the same as me and we face the same ignorant comments from other people all of the time. I doubt anyone’s ever accused you of not being manly enough.”

The last part was catty, but I felt the need to drive the point home. His eyes dropped to his lap for a moment. When he returned his gaze to mine, he was all business.

“You’re right. Look, I’ve lived in a small box most of my life. My dad worked hard to instill a very traditional idea of what a man should be. I have two brothers and we all did sports, my friends were like me, my boyfriends were like me, and most of the men in my life are like me. I don’t know what it means, but it’s all I know.

“This is going to sound stupid, and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, but until two months ago, I’d never met a man like you or your friends. I was immediately attracted to you but I didn’t know how to act and, obviously, there’s still so much I’m clueless about. It’s all very intimidating, which is why I’m extra stupid around you. There’s things I don’t understand because it’s never been a part of my life.”

My eyes softened at his confession and I felt as though I’d had a little peek into the mind of Shane; the simpleton.

“What don’t you understand?” I asked.

He used his hand to gesture toward me.

“Everything about you. I know it sounds stupid but it’s true. I don’t understand why you need to spend so much time getting ready because every guy I’ve ever known only needs twenty minutes, max. I don’t understand the giggling and screaming, the excessive use of glitter, or the need to wear rainbow colors during every game. It’s so different from anything I’ve ever known, so it’s a big adjustment.”

He looked so innocent and vulnerable while baring his soul to me. I changed positions and snuggled against his side. It took him a moment to realize what I was doing but when he did, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me.

“I get it. I can be a lot sometimes and the DONNAS, as a group, can be quite overwhelming, but there’s nothing that gets me steamed quicker than feeling as if I’m being made fun of. In the past, I’ve sacrificed a lot of myself for ‘the greater good of mankind’. I won’t do that anymore. I may not be just like you, but I’m not so different, either.

“More than anything, I hate when people try to label me. Why can’t I simply be Donovan? Yes, it takes me more than twenty minutes to get ready, but I enjoy pampering myself. I also love sports, burgers, and action movies. I face a lot of stupid people who don’t like who I am and that’s fine. I can’t change their small minds, but I refuse to let people who are in my immediate circle treat me with anything less than respect and kindness.

“I like you and I like whatever it is we have going, but if you have a problem with who I am, that’s on you. I’m not going to change for you or anyone else and I won’t tolerate that kind of disrespect.”

“I like whatever we have going too, and I like who you are. I’m really trying to adjust to what’s not been pounded into my head. If I’m doing it wrong then tell me and I’ll try to listen. If I'm not listening, hang up on me or slap me or something to get my attention and then tell me. Make me listen, because I want to listen.”

“I’d be down with slapping you around.”

He rolled his eyes, trying not to be amused by my comment.

“Of course. That would be the only thing you take away from our conversation.”

I laughed and squeezed him a little tighter. I loved the fact his body was solid, yet soft enough that he was cozy.

“No, no, I get it. You’re Shane Simpleton and I’m Donovan Difficult and together, we’re really fucking complicated.”

I laughed at my own comment as he looked at me with the happiest brown eyes in the world. He was a great balance for me and I couldn't believe I’d wasted a whole day being away from him. Things weren’t perfect, not even close. But I was gonna let him bat again.

“We’ll just consider today a foul ball,” I said as I burrowed into his side.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, I’m gonna let you bat again. People mess up and strike out a few times. There’s a reason you get three strikes and a bunch of foul balls. Even the best players screw up, regardless of how good the pitch is.”

“Ahh, so you think you’re a good pitch, huh?” He smirked.

“Oh, I know I’m a good pitch. A perfect pitch. A pitch so good and fast you can’t handle it.”

“So what’s the score? We both have a foul?” He questioned.

I looked at him like he was growing two heads.

“I think you’re confused. You have a strike and like 3 fowls. I on the other hand, have a clean slate.”

He playfully pushed me away.

“Please, explain,” he laughed.

“Strike one was when we first met and you were an ass. Foul one was when you parked next to my car and left. Foul two was when you manhandled me at the bar. Foul three was today.”

“Get out of here!” He barked. “I’ll take the strike from when we first met and the foul from today. But your umping skills are seriously lacking. If you’re gonna give me a foul for the park job that was before we hooked up, therefore should be included in the strike, then I’m gonna give you one for making me bareback, running out on me the next morning, eating my mini quiche, and running away from me today. So yeah, now you have a strike, too.”

I wanted to wipe the smug grin right off his face, instead I smiled at his cuteness.

“Are you saying that I’m flawed?”

He shrugged. “You’re the one that called yourself Donovan Difficult.”

“Fine. One strike each and you have an additional foul.”

He nodded and got off the couch as he strutted toward the kitchen.

“Careful, Donny Boy. Once you strike out this will be off limits.”

He gestured at himself and I about fell off the couch laughing. He grabbed a throw pillow as he passed the chair and threw it at me, hitting my head.

“Jerk,” he mumbled as I started laughing even harder.

He sat down and we bantered for a few minutes as we calmed down from our long and taxing day.

“Are you hungry?” I asked when I heard his stomach growl.

“Yes. I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.”

“Why not?”

“I was going to eat lunch when you called and then…”

And then I got mad and he spent the rest of the day chasing me then waiting at my house.

“I stopped by Rico’s on my way here. Do you like burritos?”

I got up, grabbed the food bag that had my half eaten burrito in it, plus a few other things, and walked back to the couch.

“I already ate some of it,” I said as I pulled out and unwrapped my leftovers.

“That’s fine. It looks amazing and I’m starving,” he was staring at my food like it was the last canister of oxygen on the moon.

Just as he reached for it, I pulled it back and took a big bite. His hand stalled in mid air and his brows furrowed in confusion. I continued to hold the half eaten burrito out of his reach as I finished chewing.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t share food,” I said with a mouth full of food before taking another bite, then returning the burrito to a safe spot out of his reach.

“But you said I could have your food.”

“Correction, I said I stopped at Rico’s and I had some leftovers. I also asked if you like burritos but I never offered it to you. You know what they say about assumptions…”

I winked at him as I stuffed the last of the burrito in my mouth. I knew I was being mean but I couldn’t help myself and the expression on his face made it totally worth it.

His mouth dropped and his eyes narrowed when he’d realized what a cruel bastard I’d been.

“It’s fine. Just know…I will get you back for this when you least expect it and it will be brutal.”

I rolled my eyes at his empty threat and continued eating my fantastic burrito.

“Okay. Well, clearly you’re not sharing so I’m going to go get my own food. See you later.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek goodbye as I chewed a giant bite of potato and steak. I grabbed his hand and pulled quickly, forcing him back down and tossed the bag of food onto his lap.

“Calm down. There’s more food,” I playfully rolled my eyes.

He smiled and dug through the bag as Sammy does at any all you can eat buffet. He woofed down the two extra burritos I’d gotten when my eyes were bigger than my stomach. It still wasn’t enough and I ended up making him more food before we settled into the movie room, upstairs. It was actually an empty space above the garage that was converted into a weird, angled room with no windows, which was perfect for movies or sleeping in late. We didn’t have a movie playing, we were only lying on the couch talking, not talking, and running our fingertips over the other’s skin.

“Are you always so good at communication?” I asked during one of our more lengthy nonverbal moments.

So far, he appeared upfront and honest about things and it was rare to find guys who were so keen on communication. I liked to consider myself one of those guys, but if today was any indication, Shane definitely showed me up in that department.

I felt Shane’s chest vibrate as he softly laughed at my question.

“Not at all. I’m actually terrible, that’s why today was so frustrating for me, because I was really trying to make an effort. I’m trying to be more intentional with you, in a lot of ways.”

“Who the hell are you? At first you seem...almost a little too simple. Then say the most random fucking bullshit…but like, feel-good bullshit and I love it. I feel I need to up my sweet talk game. Do I need to whisper sweet nothings into your ear?” I propped myself up and started nibbling his ears and neck. “When you say things like making an effort and intentional…”

He completely relaxed against the couch as I ran my tongue along his ear, kissed along his jaw, and made my way down his neck. The more I kissed him, the more he exposed his neck for me to enjoy. Between his three day stubble and his musky man scent, there was so much to enjoy.

My breath hitched when I felt him squeeze my hips until I was rubbing against his matching bulge. I guess he thought I wasn’t good at multitasking and that I needed assistance with grinding our bodies together. Lust filled my body and I doubled my efforts on his neck. I wasn’t normally a big fan of hickeys, but I had a deep desire to mark him and I was doing a pretty good job. I pushed his shirt up and started kissing and licking his beautiful chest. I felt his hands on my chest and was surprised when he pushed me away.

“No. We shouldn’t go any further.”

Plot twist.

“What are you talking about? We’ve already had sex and I blew you in public.”

“I know, and they were both amazing. Like as I said, I’m trying to be intentional with you. Maybe you don’t feel the same, but I want more than a physical relationship. I want to spend time with you like we did tonight, just lying on the couch and talking.”

“Talking and making out.”

“90/10.”

“60/40,” I countered.

“88/12,” he smiled.

I cried foul like a kid whose mom had poured only enough syrup on his pancakes for one bite. “That’s not even a real ratio!”

Much to my disappointment, he pulled his shirt down and got off of the couch. I wanted to argue and beg him to stay, maybe even tempt him with my goods. But ultimately, I couldn’t turn down Shane treating me like the prince I knew I was. So, I walked him downstairs and gave him a totally unrespectable kiss goodnight. I thought it would teach him a lesson, but I’m not sure who it punished more, him or me.

Shane still had his arms wrapped around my waist. The porch light was behind him, casting off a perfect glow around him and making him appear almost dream like. My perfect dream.

“Would you like to do brunch again tomorrow?”

I frowned.

“I can’t. I have to work at six tomorrow morning.”

“Didn’t you just work sixty-six hours this week? Don’t you get time off for good behavior?”

“Sunday is a new week and I have to earn them those balla bills.”

I made it rain with all of my invisible monies and Shane laughed his deep, sexy laugh.

“Whens your next day off?”

“Wednesday, unless I get called in.”

His face scrunched as he thought hard about something. I couldn’t help but smile because everything about him was so dang precious.

“I might be able to free some time up Wednesday, if you want to hang out,” he said, hopefully.

“Sure thing."

This time, he gave me a completely unrespectable kiss followed by several overly-respectable kisses that made me feel swoony. I happily watched him walk away. He looked back a few times and we did the wave version of no, you hang up first before he finally drove off, leaving me with nothing but a ‘dial tone’. I thought about Shane the whole time while I locked the doors, turned off the lights, and got ready for bed. He was a bucket full of surprises and I couldn’t wait to see what was next.