Nemesis: Soulmates Never Die - 15. Chapter Fifteen: Devil in the Details

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Devil in the Details

‘I guess if I did come along I’d just be a buzzkill, eh?’ said Zoë.

‘Yes. Yes you would.’ Nick grinned. ‘Relax. I’ll have my phone with me, I’ll be with the other guys all the time, and we’ve got a place to stay after the show. Matt knows his way around.’

Zoë sighed and nodded. ‘Have you got everything you need?’

Nick nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Guitar?’

‘Check.’

‘Clothes?’

‘Check.’

‘Mobile?’

‘Check.’

‘Bus fare?’

‘Yes, I have everything. Can I go now?’ said Nick impatiently.

‘Of course you can. Have fun, okay?’

‘Will do.’

She hugged him, pressing her forehead into his shoulder, and it occurred to Nick how much taller than her he was now. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

‘That doesn’t exclude much, does it?’ Nick joked and returned her hug. ‘See you tomorrow.’

He hurried to the bus stop, where Matt and Alan were waiting. They’d be changing buses and meeting up with Stuart in Sapswell. Nick gave Alan an apprehensive look when he approached the two. Before he could say anything, Alan spoke.

‘Dave isn’t coming,’ he said firmly. ‘You don’t have to worry.’

‘I wasn’t worried,’ Nick lied and gave Matt a hug. ‘I honestly don’t care.’

‘Of course you don’t,’ said Alan. ‘Just thought I’d say. So you know.’

‘Well, now I know.’

That was the last they said about Dave, and they spent their trip talking about pleasanter things.

‘So, how do you know these guys, anyway?’ Nick asked Matt once they were all safely seated on the bus towards Birmingham.

Matt and Alan shared a look. ‘I guess you could say their bass player, Brian, is kind of an ex of mine,’ said Matt after a moment. ‘I hadn’t seen him in about two years when I went to see them play back in October. I got to talking with him, and mentioned the band, and he said we should do a split-gig sometime. Now they wanted a supporting act, so . . .’ He shrugged. ‘Seemed like a good way to get our name out there a bit. They’re not huge, but they pull a decent crowd.’

‘Sounds promising,’ said Stuart. ‘Whatever else happens, it should be a good night. I’ve heard good things about the venue.’

‘It’s a good place,’ Matt agreed. ‘I’m afraid they know we’re all under eighteen, though, so no drinking for us. Brian’s promised us an after party with plenty of beer, though. Ste, the lead guitarist, has a place in Perry Barr where we can all stay tonight.’

‘I’m excited!’ said Nick, grinning. ‘This feels more like a proper gig than Café Underworld did. I mean, our audience is gonna be grown up, we’re opening for a respected band . . . I mean, I’ve actually heard of Adolescent Pushback, on some indie forum or another where someone shared their Soundcloud, like, two years ago or something. I think this is gonna be awesome!’

Matt laughed. ‘You’re so cute when you’re excited!’ He ruffled Nick’s hair. ‘I do think this is going to be pretty great, though.’

* * *

They entered the venue with their instruments in tow and looked up at the stage. The drum kit and amps had already been set up. To make things a little easier, The Oxymorons would be using Adolescent Pushback’s backline. There were two guitar amps. Nick eyed the Marshall stack enviously. If he could have any amp in the world . . .

‘Wow, this place is nice,’ he said instead.

‘I know. Pretty cool, right?’ Matt smiled.

‘Matt!’ said a voice, and they turned around to see a guy approach them. He had dark hair, a dark grey t-shirt with a band logo on it, and loose black jeans. He hugged Matt when he reached him. ‘Good to see you. This the rest of the band?’

‘Yeah,’ said Matt. ‘This is Nick and Stuart. And this is Alan. He’s not part of the band, he’s my boyfriend. He’s here to watch.’

‘Boyfriend, eh? Good for you.’ The guy smiled. Nick had to admit he was rather attractive. He had the rock star look down, with several piercings and sleeve tattoos. ‘Well, I’m Brian. I’m the bass player of Adolescent Pushback. Come on, we’re hanging out over here.’

They were introduced to the rest of the band, which consisted of Dom on guitar and vocals, Ste on lead guitar and backing vocals, and Cameron on drums. They all seemed like nice guys, and now Nick’s nerves started to make themselves known to him. This was real. They were playing here, tonight. Before these guys, who were a real band and had been playing together for years. What if he fucked up? What if he couldn’t sing properly? What if he forgot his chords, or the words to the songs?

‘You guys just sit down and make yourselves comfortable,’ said Brian, smiling at them. ‘The sound tech should be here any minute now, so we can start soundcheck.’

* * *

‘You nervous?’

Nick turned around to find Brian standing behind him, and nodded. ‘Yeah. This will only be my third time on a stage, you know . . .’

‘Really?’

Nick nodded again, and looked away. ‘Not very professional, is it? Getting all shaky and nervous before going up . . .’

‘Are you kidding? I get nervous all the time!’ Brian told him. ‘Don’t worry, it’s totally normal. You just have to learn to use the nervousness constructively. Here, close your eyes.’

Nick did as he was bid, and felt a pair of hands on his hips.

‘Okay, now just relax. Lower your shoulders, bend your knees, take deep breaths. And loosen your pelvis. That’s it. Like you’re dancing.’ Brian moved his hands, forcing Nick to roll his hips, and Nick laughed. ‘There you go. You go up there like this, you can’t fuck up.’

Nick opened his eyes. ‘Thanks,’ he said and smiled.

‘Nothing to it,’ said Brian. ‘And you have nothing to worry about. I saw your soundcheck, you’re great. When you were singing, Dom turned to me and was like, “what did you book these guys as support for? He’s a way better singer than I am!”’ He grinned. ‘You’ll be fantastic.’ Then he walked away.

‘Be careful,’ Matt told him, sidling up next to him. ‘He likes you.’

‘You think so?’ said Nick with a smile.

‘Yeah, and that’s not a good thing. Just keep your wits about you, okay?’ Matt poked his arm. ‘Brian’s a decent bloke, but he’s not the best at gauging the consequences of his actions.’

Nick shrugged. ‘I’m fine. I can look after myself.’

‘Good.’ The music in the room decreased in volume. ‘Okay, I think we’re on.’

Nick nodded, shaking his hands nervously. Then he closed his eyes, lowered his shoulders and wiggled his hips. Brian was right, it did make him feel less nervous.

As the music was muted, Matt, Stuart and Nick marched onto the stage. Nick plugged in his guitar and took the mic.

‘Hey! We’re The Oxymorons!’ he cried, and the crowd applauded. Then he played the opening chords to Birmingham Suicide.

* * *

‘You know, you’re really very good, Nick,’ said Brian, sitting down next to him and handing him a bottle of beer. ‘I’ve known a lot of musicians in my time, but no one quite as intuitive as you. You really get music. And your voice is just of another world, man. Cheers.’

‘Cheers,’ said Nick and smiled, taking a sip of his beer. ‘And, thank you. I don’t really think of myself as . . . I mean, I’ve always liked playing music, so I just do what feels natural. My guitar teacher hates it. He wants me to play according to tried and true methods, use proper technique and all that, and I’ve always just played the way it feels most natural, so we knock heads a lot.’

Brian laughed. He had a deep baritone voice and his laugh seemed to resonate in Nick’s bones. ‘Yeah, I know the feeling,’ he said. ‘I’m the same. I just do what feels natural, you know? Play what I want, the way I want, and as long as it sounds good, who cares how I do it, right?’

‘Right!’ Nick agreed. ‘That’s exactly it! God, it’s so great to find someone who gets it. Stuart’s always digging into me for my technique being sloppy as well, and I’m like, give me a break, this is how I roll! You know?’

Brian nodded. ‘I know exactly.’ He drained his bottle and pulled a small ziplock bag out of his pocket. ‘Hey, you ever done coke, Nick?’

Nick stared at the bag in his hand. It contained a small amount of white powder. And he had no excuse, other than all the beer he’d had and the fact that Brian just smelled really good, for saying, ‘Couple of times.’

‘This is guaranteed good shit,’ Brian assured him. ‘There are some dodgy dealers out there, but I’ve got a good one.’

Nick nodded, heart pounding in his chest as Brian emptied the bag out onto the glass coffee table and pulled a credit card out of his pocket. He arranged the powder into four thin, white lines. Then he rolled up a five pound note and snorted two of the lines before handing the note to Nick.

‘Cheers,’ said Nick, and copied him.

It burnt his sinuses, and he sniffed several times, blinked back tears, and coughed as he felt it slide down the back of his throat. He could tell from the look Brian gave him that it was entirely obvious that this was his first time. But Brian didn’t say anything, and Nick handed back the five pounds without comment and sat back in the sofa. He felt almost immediately energised, and a little bit giddy.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Matt. ‘Oh, hey, Matt,’ he said with a smile.

‘Can I talk to you for a sec?’ Matt asked quietly, and Nick shrugged and stood up. They walked away a few paces and then Matt turned on him and hissed, ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing snorting coke with Brian?’

Nick folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at his band mate. ‘What’s your problem?’

‘My problem is that Brian is the kind of person who just shoots and doesn’t think about the consequences, and I thought it would be safe to leave you alone with him because you’re better than that. I’m gone for five minutes, and suddenly you’re taking drugs?’

‘What’s the big deal? It’s just cocaine! Not like you’ve never done it.’

‘Brian wouldn’t give you cocaine unless he was trying to seduce you, you stupid fuck!’ Matt grabbed him by the shoulders. ‘You have a fucking boyfriend!’

Nick shook him off. ‘Yeah? Do I, though?’

‘You had a fight, you didn’t break up.’

‘Listen. What I do is none of your fucking business, okay?’ said Nick irritably. ‘So, just leave me the fuck alone.’

He returned to the sofa and, to his joy and relief, found Brian still there. He plopped down next to him, rather closer than strictly necessary, and lay his head on Brian’s shoulder.

Brian looked down at him and smiled. ‘What did Matt want?’

Nick thought for a moment. And then, because he was feeling good and cool and kind of invincible just then, he opted for honesty. ‘To warn me against you,’ he told Brian casually. ‘He said you were going to try to seduce me.’

Brian chuckled. ‘Did he now? And what do you think about that?’

Nick shrugged one shoulder. ‘Well, I was rather hoping you would, actually.’

Brian responded by laying a hand on his thigh and attacking his earlobe with his teeth, and Nick closed his eyes and groaned softly. He’d give Dave something to really be jealous about. As Brian let go of his earlobe and scraped his teeth against Nick’s throat, Nick felt the arousal begin to grow in the pit of his stomach. Brian’s hand crept further up his thigh, and now he was palming him through his jeans and Nick let out a moan.

‘Come on,’ Brian whispered in his ear. He pulled Nick to his feet and led him towards the bathroom. Locking the door behind him, he pushed Nick roughly up against the wall and kissed him, his mouth hot and insisting. Nick gladly admitted his tongue, letting the warmth of it fill his mouth, and he brought his hand to the front of Brian’s trousers and found him hard. Brian groaned into his mouth at the touch. It made Nick feel vaguely electric.

Nick got to his knees, unbuttoning Brian’s trousers and pulling down his pants to reveal a none too modestly sized cock. He licked the tip teasingly, looking up at Brian through his eyelashes. Brian carded his fingers into Nick’s hair and pulled gently, biting his lip. And so Nick swallowed him down as far as he could manage. He licked with the flat of his tongue, and sucked so his cheeks hollowed, and stroked the smooth shaft with his hand.

After a couple of minutes of this treatment, Brian pulled Nick to his feet again and turned him face first towards the wall. He pressed up against him from behind, arms circling his waist to unzip his jeans while he kissed the back of his neck. He stuck his hand down the back of Nick’s pants, pressing a finger lightly against Nick’s arsehole, and Nick moaned, pushing back against him. Pulling down his jeans and pants, Brian got to his knees behind him, and then something warm and wet was prodding at Nick’s entrance and he arched his back, whimpering.

Minutes later, Brian was putting on a lubricated condom and pushing against Nick’s hole. Doing it like this, in a bathroom at some stranger’s loft, high on coke and harder than he thought he had ever been before in his life, felt fantastically dirty and gritty and exciting, and Nick cried out as Brian pressed inside, filling him up. Brian was good, and this was a great angle, and Nick had to bite his lip and take long, deep breaths through his nose. His cheek was pressed against the cold tiles while Brian fucked him, and it felt so sore and so good. When Brian came, he reached around and finished Nick off with his hand, whispering filthy things in his ear.

Nick cleaned himself off with toilet roll and water from the sink while Brian watched him with a lopsided smile on his face. ‘What?’ said Nick, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

‘You’re adorable.’ Brian smiled wider. ‘I could just play with you for hours. You’re the sort of boy I could call my boyfriend.’

‘I sort of already have one of those,’ and Nick’s heart sank as he said it. ‘We’re fighting right now, but . . .’ He shrugged.

‘Well,’ said Brian, stretching his arms above his head, ‘if it doesn’t work out or if you feel like just having some fun, I wouldn’t mind seeing you again. Here, give me your phone.’

Nick pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to Brian, who typed in his number, saved it, and texted himself. Then he handed it back. ‘Call me some time.’

‘Maybe I will,’ said Nick. Then Brian put his arms around him, pulling him close, and kissed him again.

‘I may have some more coke,’ he murmured. ‘I’m starting to come down a bit. You want some too?’

‘Sure. Thanks.’ Maybe some more coke would make this guilty, sick feeling in his stomach go away. Besides, booze and cocaine was the rock star lifestyle, wasn’t it?

‘You’re too cute,’ Brian told him. ‘Come on, then.’

When they returned to the living room it was mostly empty. Dom had fallen asleep in a chair. Everyone else seemed to have gone to bed. Not so strange, as it was nearly three in the morning. They sat back down on the sofa, and Brian found his bag and pulled out another little ziplock bag of cocaine.

This time it made Nick feel somewhat anxious and agitated. He sorted that out the best way he could figure how, and ended up straddling Brian’s lap and grinding down on him, fully clothed. If there was a voice in the back of his head telling him he shouldn’t be doing this, he ignored it. And anyway, the damage was already done.

* * *

Dave glared at him with angry blue eyes. ‘Nick, how could you?’ His eyes softened. ‘You should have asked me to join.’ Then Brian was there, putting his arms around Dave from behind, mysteriously taller than Nick had thought he was, biting at his neck. ‘We’ll just be over here,’ said Dave.

‘Nick, wake up!’

Nick opened his eyes. His cheek was plastered to a stained leather surface. It smelled of old beer and dust, and he pulled his head up slightly to find Matt frowning down at him.

‘We’re getting the next bus. You should get up.’

‘Time’s it?’ Nick mumbled. His head hurt, and the room was all blurry, and for several seconds he had no idea where he was.

‘It’s nearly two. Just get up.’

And then he realised, and everything came rushing back over him like cold water. He grabbed Matt’s wrist.

‘Did . . . Did you—?’

‘What?’ The look Matt gave Nick told him all he needed to know. Matt had seen him with Brian. He might not know exactly what had happened, but he certainly knew that something had happened.

‘Did you tell the others?’ Nick asked softly.

Matt sighed. ‘No.’

Nick relaxed, but only a little. ‘Are you going to?’

Matt ran a hand through his long hair and then he sat down next to Nick. ‘Look. I warned you about him, didn’t I?’

Nick nodded. ‘Yeah. You did.’

‘You should have listened.’

‘Yeah.’ Nick looked up at Matt, who seemed reluctant to meet his gaze. ‘Please, don’t tell Dave,’ he whispered.

Matt finally looked back at him with sincere brown eyes. ‘I won’t,’ he said. ‘But you should.’

‘I know. I . . . I will. I think. I don’t know, but just . . . Please let me sort this out myself.’

Matt nodded. ‘I’m not exactly the best to preach monogamy,’ he said softly. ‘But he loves you, so . . . Just remember that. I know you, Nick. You won’t be able to live with lying to him for long.’ He stood up. ‘Go get yourself cleaned up. I’ll see you downstairs in five.’