Three Strikes - 24. Family Reunion

So many times, I’d wished to wake up without a hangover, more times than I could count. Never, in all my years, had I woken up wishing I’d had one, yet, there I was, upset because I wasn’t somehow incapacitated. I felt great, physically anyway, but mentally I was undercooked scrambled eggs—worthless. I got out of bed and tried not to think about anything.

It was nearly impossible as the events of the night before replayed like a bad montage video. I’m not a fag, I just like a tight ass. I could hear the cocky humor in his voice, as if he were stating something so obvious. I tried to think of scenarios in which I misheard or misunderstood. I saw this happen all the time in movies, when someone hears part of a conversation and overreacts, causing unnecessary drama. Even if I misheard parts of their conversation, I know for sure I didn’t mis hear the comment that cut the deepest.

I really thought he liked me and I felt like such a fool for being taken for a ride. I’d crawled into bed with him when I hated him, I hadn’t given him one reason to respect me as a person, so none of it should’ve been a surprise.

I needed a morning of pampering so I decided to do just that. I took a bath instead of a shower and used every product I owned while blasting music the whole time. I wasn’t going to think about Shane, the fact he was nothing but an asshole, along with his friends.

There was also that lingering insecurity; I wasn’t enough of a man. I was too much of all of the things he didn’t like. Story of my life—too masculine for guys who wanted someone they could coddle and take care of, and too feminine for guys like Shane, who clearly wanted a deeper shade of blue.

I took a second to look myself over; I was lounging in a clawfoot tub, covered in bubbles. As upset as I was, I couldn’t help but laugh at my current situation. I was soaking in a luxurious bubble bath.

Way too fem.

But also, I was about to get dressed and take a walk down memory lane and into my past life baseball superstar and alter ego: Donny Allerton.

Way too masculine.

It was a literal representation of my life, my struggles.

I wondered if I should pick one or the other—either be the guy who gets bi-weekly haircuts, monthly waxes, owns every beauty and body product created, and loves a good bubble bath...or butch up, be a man’s man, spend all of my free time at sports bars, smoke cigars, wear dirty clothes, and go months between haircuts…eww! It was those exact thoughts that made me leave baseball in the first place. The fact I felt pressured to conform to one demand.

I resolved to do what I needed, which was space away from the DAKS so I could continue to be happy with myself without feeling undesired.

I had two hours before I’d meet AARP for my special guest appearance, which I was nervous about. They were making me out to be someone special, but after last night, I wasn’t feeling anywhere close. Since I didn’t have anything else to do, I took my time getting ready. I had no one to belittle me for spending ninety minutes getting dressed and ready for someone else’s family reunion. I was going to enjoy it by taking all the fucking time I wanted. I gently splashed water over my knees and smiled. If DONNAS were here, they’d be calling me the Bath Bitch.

As I laid in the tub, I allowed my mind to wander to Kels, Thomas’ grandson. Maybe he’d be worth getting to know. There’s no way he’d have more baggage than Shane. The way I looked at it, he’d likely be an upgrade.

I sighed as I skimmed my fingers across the top of the water. As much as I wanted to be, I knew I wasn’t ready to move on from Shane. I didn’t want to be with Shane, but I also wasn’t ready to jump into something else. That didn’t stop me from secretly hoping I’d find someone who distracted me enough to help me walk away, though. I might not have been ready to move on, but I desperately wanted to show up to the next game with some eye candy on my arm and shove it into Shane’s face. That’s where Kels could come in, or maybe, I’d go back to Rafen’s and try my luck again.

*** *** *** ***

Jack’s house was barely on the outskirts of town. The closer I got to his house, the further apart neighbors became. I wouldn’t say he lived in the country, but the nicer homes definitely had privacy and lots of property. His house wasn’t hard to find, not with the thirty cars parked outside.

I sat in my car and thought of a million reasons why I should drive away. What was I doing at someone else's family reunion. Not just one family, but four! This was their tradition to get together once a year and play baseball, who was I to join? I meet a man during a regrettable morning, run into him at a park and meet his friends, spent a few afternoons with them, then took them shopping for a new look. What was I, queer guy for the old guys? And that means I automatic get an invitation to the unveiling?

I didn’t want to get started on the potential disaster that was about to be my claim to fame. The whole thing was a very bad idea. I was a nobody, literally. If I hadn’t been in such a terrible mood from the night before, then I might’ve managed to walk in and have a good time, but I was the definition of a sour puss.

I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed. Maybe I could plead temporary insanity? It was the only reason I could come up with to explain why I looked like a fool. I was usually poised and polished, but the DAKS had me feeling so insecure. Plus, I was stepping into a group of people who loved baseball and knew I had played once upon a time. I hadn’t felt this much pressure to conform in years, so yeah, I guess I decided to man up for or something?

Frustrated with myself, I hit my palm against my forehead with quick repetition. For some unknown reason, I thought it would be a good idea to wear my practice shirt from college; a white baseball shirt with orange sleeves and black lettering that said Allerton and the number eleven on the back. Why did I still have that shirt, and why did I think it was a good idea to wear it? I looked like a washed-up PE teacher whose dignity lay in old pipe dreams.

‘Look at me! I played two years of college ball and now I need everyone to know!’

I adjusted my ball cap in the rearview mirror. I knew I couldn’t stay in the car forever. With a breath of faux confidence, I forced myself out of the car and walked to the front door before taking another deep breath to gather myself, and knocked. The door immediately cracked opened, just enough to see Jack peek through the crack, followed by Mickey, and then Thomas.

“You’re here!” They quietly yelled, though not quite in union. They looked around and awkwardly ushered me inside while shielding me from—? Fuck if I knew! I felt like a bag of cocaine being smuggled across the Colombian border for Christmas.

“We’ve been holding off the masses for an hour now, but we can’t wait any longer. They’re demanding information. We have to explain the reason we look good isn’t because we’re cheating and also, they’re curious why we’re so confident about winning today.”

David glared at Jack, “They wouldn’t be suspecting anything if you hadn’t bet two hundred dollars that we’d win!”

“You bet two hundred dollars?” I stared at him in disbelief, “No fucking pressure,” I mumbled.

Mickey grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into a crouching position. They whispered amongst themselves and acted like we were on a black ops special mission and I was the thing they were trying to extract. Saving Private Donovan.

“Stay down!” he whisper shouted. “We need to get you to the living room unnoticed.” His voice may have been quiet but his wild hand gestures were almost deafening.

Thomas, Jack, and David walked as one giant wall while Mickey protectively shielded me behind them. I laughed because the whole thing was so fucking ridiculous. They were definitely going to be committed after they finished doing whatever they were about to do.

The room we were inconspicuously walking toward was alive with the sounds of four families’ worth of memories, laughter, and love. The wall of men suddenly stopped. I almost lost my balance while trying not to knock them over.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” Jacks voice was loud and demanded everyone's attention.

The room fell silent and I cringed at how incredibly embarrassed I was about to be. I could only imagine the number of eyes that were rolling as they waited to see what the fuss was all about. Boy, are they going to be disappointed.

“I know we’ve been really secretive lately, about--certain things. Then we show up looking like GQ models, which had many of you scratching your heads, but we have an explanation. We want to introduce you to someone we met a short while ago, someone who has impacted our lives for the better. It’s a funny story really, but after he ran away from a terrible one-night stand, Thomas found him sprawled out in the bushes in front of his house. Then a week later we saw him running shirtless through the park and I thought for sure that Mickey was going to have to double his blood pressure medication and, as they say, the rest is history. He’s made us laugh, he’s encouraged us, shopped for us, and among other things, gave us hope that we might actually win this year’s game.”

“Enough of the introduction! Who’s hiding behind you and why in the hell do you think you four have a chance at winning this year’s game?” Someone laughed and the room followed suit.

“Do you guys remember who took OSU to the World Series two years in a row?” Thomas asked.

“Number eleven, Donny Allerton.”

My eyes widened as someone shouted my name without hesitation. It was the strangest feeling to have someone know who I was. It made the whole unveiling even worse and I wanted to be anywhere but there. What if they asked me why I stopped playing, or hated me because I was gay, or too gay? Or any of a thousand other things that ran through my head as I tried to plan my greatest escape to date.

I could hear the joy in Thomas’ voice as he shouted enthusiastically. “Yes, Paul, exactly!”

The murmurs in the room grew louder.

“Except, he goes by Donovan, not Donny,” Mickey added.

And as the AARP parted like a curtain on opening night. David clamped his hand on one shoulder while Thomas did the same on the other, pushing me toward the crowd. I knew there wasn’t, but it felt as though there was a giant spotlight pointed at me.

“Meet OSU pitcher, fashion extraordinaire, our good friend, and an all-around great guy, Donovan Allerton.”

I looked around the room, but barely saw the faces because I was overwhelmed by their need to highlight me like a show dog. The voices in the room grew more animated and I was slowly engulfed by their family, who were evidently big fans. They introduced themselves, and asked questions. They wondered if the guys had paid me to come, made jokes at AARP’s expense, and a few even tried to usher me off and convince me to play against my older friends.

A blonde woman playfully smiled as she wrapped her arm within mine.

“We watched all of your games and we’re pretty sure our son had a crush on you, although he’d never admit it.” She was tall for a woman and supermodel beautiful—blonde, blue eyed, and a slamming body—for someone who I assumed was over fifty. “Are you single or—”

Thomas had put a hand on her shoulder.

“You’ll have to excuse my daughter, Donovan, she’s being a bit forward.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed him gently in faux anger. With a megawatt smile she continued, “He’s cute. I figured, maybe, Kels and he could…”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence because her body language, sly grin, and raised brow said it all.

“Shelly, what makes you think he’s single?”

“I don’t know, but a mom can be hopeful!” She threw her hands up then looked at me, “Well?”

I started to answer, but I wasn’t sure where go with it.

“Well…”

Technically, I was single, but was I ready to mingle? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I’d grow old and die single if I waited around for Shane to think highly of me. Shelly and Thomas were looking at me with hope.

“I guess I’m, newly single?”

Before I had a chance to do or say anything else, Shelly was dragging me by my hand, through the crowd.

“You have to meet Kels. He comes off a little…well…” she looked at me as though she was trying to send me a secret S.O.S. “He’s really cute so you should give him a chance.”

“You’re in sales, aren’t you?” I joked.

“Very funny. You know how people love old houses with lots of character? Think of Kels like that.”

“Oh, good! An old house I’ll need to renovate,” I teased.

She smiled at me then looked around and her eyes sparkled with excitement as she found what she was looking for. “Kels!”

She pulled me a little further along then stopped and put her arm around my shoulder as if we were besties.

“Kels, this is newly single Donovan. Donovan, this is my son, Shane Kelly, but we call him Kels.” She pointed to the men standing next to him and began introducing them, “This is Jack’s grandson, Aaron, David’s grandson, Drew, and Mickey’s nephew, Kurt. They’re third generation best friends,” she said proudly.

My brain short circuited with an overload of information, revelations, and emotions. I don’t know what expression I wore, but I imagined it was closer to the same look the DAKS were wearing, but nothing like what Shelly was wearing: ‘look at me! I’m such a good match maker!’

For the record, it was a terrible match up. Thomas hadn’t been joking when he said his grandson had issues, which included me. Despite their expressions, it was obvious they’d already had time to process everything—after all, they saw my introduction, they knew I was there before I did.

“I’m going to leave you guys to talk,” Shelly giggled.

I watched her turned away. I opened my mouth to beg her to stay, to not to leave me in the most awkward situation of my life...but nothing came out.

DAKS and I stared at each other. I’d never hunted before but it was how I imagined it might go—the hunter see’s the deer, the deer sees the hunter, but neither of them knows what to do. DAKS looked panicked and anxious, like they had so much they wanted to say, but not enough time to say it. I, on the other hand, had nothing I wanted to hear from their idiotic mouths.

Shane’s expression was the most frustrating, though. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was completely unaffected by the last twenty-four hours, but I could see something there. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something crippling about it.

I wanted to apologize, cry, and run away at the same time. I hated him but I still wanted him. I hated the fact I wanted him, I hated the fact my heart sank when I looked into his eyes, and I hated the fact he made it hard for me to walk away. Hard, but remembering his words from last night made it possible.

I’d known from the minute I pulled up to the house that it had been a bad idea to go to the reunion and I should’ve turned around and left when I had the chance, yet I didn’t. Now I was stuck in a house with Shane and his three enablers. I couldn’t leave though, AARP had plans that included me and I didn’t want to let them down. Just because I felt an obligation to AARP didn’t mean I had to stick around their younger, evil, counterparts. I turned on my heel and left as quickly as possible.

I barely made it out of sight when I tripped. I would’ve face-planted in a seriously embarrassing way if it hadn’t been for a large, strapping man who I was positive had some DNA relation to Shane. He was a slightly older version of Shane, ‘Shane of the future’ I thought to myself. He smiled, kindly, as he pulled me to an upright position.

“You’ll have to be careful of Lola. She never knows what she wants or where she wants to go, so she ends up stepping in front of people at the most inopportune times.”

I looked down to find a super fluffy, teacup dog with a pink collar spinning in circles. She was the cutest thing I’d ever seen so I reached down and picked her up.

“Hi, wittle wola. Aren’t you just the cuwtest thing in the whowe wide worwld! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!” I cooed.

She went berserk in my hands, holding her was like trying to hold a flopping fish that was desperately trying to escape to the water. She was licking my face and trying to scratch my eyes out at the same time. She was perfect and I loved her.

“It looks like you found my lil’ Lola!” A cute brunette, who couldn’t have been out of high school, walked up and started petting and kissing Lola.

I expected her to take the pup from my hands, but instead, we co-held her dog, and it felt weird. We were one of those weird couples who holds their kids at the same time—a barf worthy Christmas photo. I tried to release Lola to her owner, but the brunette refused sole custody.

“Oh, no, you hold her. She loves you. I’m Nikki, by the way.”

She smiled and winked at me in a way that seemed far too suggestive for someone her age as she moved closer until our shoulders were squished together. I would’ve stepped away, but it was forgotten when Lola started kissing my face, again…that is, until Nikki patted my knee.

“Come. I want to hear all about Donny Allerton.”

I couldn’t tell whether or not the way she accentuated my name was out of humor or genuine anticipation, but there wasn’t time to dwell on it because she linked our arms together and pulled me toward a large, empty couch. She shoved me down and then planted herself against me, well within my personal bubble. It wasn’t the first time that night that I’d regretted trying to play up my masculinity. If I would’ve been myself, there would’ve been no doubt we batted for the same team, then maybe she’d have left me alone. But no, I just had to fucking dress like a typical straight boi who shopped at American Eagle.

I fidgeted with Lola’s pink-sparkle collar and I tried to steer the conversation away from me by asking how old the dog was.

“She’s a year old. I found her after graduation while on my way through Cincinnati. I was on a road trip with some girlfriends. It was love at first sight.” She smiled at her pup and scratched Lola’s head.

I leaned back on the couch, lifted Lola to my face, and planted a few kisses on her nose. “Nati would’ve been a cute name. Nati from Cincinnati,” I offered as an afterthought.

“Oh, man, I love that! We call her Lola Pink since everything she owns is pink.”

I kissed Lola again and cooed, “Lola Pink from Cincy.”

“So, do you still play baseball?” Nikki asked, loud enough to grab everyone’s attention.

Several people dropped their conversations and tried to listen without ‘listening’.

“Kind of. I play on a co-ed men's league team.”

She rolled her eyes as if I was purposefully being stupid. “That’s not what I meant. Do you play for a real team?”

As a distraction from the growing crowd, I played with Lola while I nonchalantly. “Nah. That ship sailed a long time ago.”

Shane of the future walked over and sat next to me on the couch next to me.

“What happened there? One minute you were the boy on fire and the next you were ‘pursuing your academics’,” he mocked the Universities standard press release.

Somehow, the addition of Shane of the future to our conversation had been the door everyone needed to turn a private discussion with Nikki and Lola, into a college lecture/discussion with thirty of my closest strangers. AARP entered the room, followed by the DAKS, and it appeared everyone was curious about what had gone down over ten years ago. None more than Shane, who sat in the back of the room, waiting to hear about my past. I still wasn’t sure how much I was comfortable sharing, not because they were all strangers, but because I had particularly high feelings of hate toward a handful of attendees.

“It’s true. I did pursue my academics.”

“I won't argue that, but it’s no reason a man like you, a phenomenal player, would stop playing baseball.”

My eyes snapped up at the sound of his voice. Shane was leaning against the back wall. His eyes held something, something that made the events from the night before hurt even more in the light of the day. Against my better judgement, I trusted him and last night he betrayed that trust.

“A man like me? Funny choice of words, don’t you think?”

There was a flicker in his eyes. It was so clear I could see it from across the room. I hit a nerve and everything in me wanted to bash it into tiny shards.

“But you’re right. I didn’t leave because of academics. I was bullied and forced out because I’m gay.”

“So, what? There’s a lot of gays in sports,” some unknown person said from the crowd.

“You’re right, but I was too gay. Some might even say I was an embarrassment.”

Again, Shane’s face didn’t flinch as I enunciated the last word, but saw everything I needed to see in his eyes. Shane of the future, who, unsurprisingly, was Shane’s dad, squeezed my shoulder to show he supported me.

“That’s crazy. It’s not like you’re not one of those fairy gays. You’re like my Shane—all man.”

He used his other hand to wave the situation off as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. I broke eye contact with Shane and narrowed my eyes at Shane’s dad—they really were the same person.

“I can assure you, I’m nothing like your Shane. I wouldn’t say I’m ‘fairy’ (I air quoted) gay, but I trend closer to a fairy than I do to Shane. Hell, I’d rather dress in drag and do the hula than be anything like Shane.”

I looked at Shane again, I wanted to make sure he was paying attention to every word. The group was looking between Shane and I as they tried to figure out what was going on. Shane of the future removed his hand from my shoulder as if he’d just learned I was a leper.

“You’re joking, right? You wouldn’t want to be a fag, would you? You’re a great baseball player, one of the best college had ever seen. You had real potential and you’re telling me you threw it away because you needed to play dress up and go shopping?” He was pointing at his dad, Thomas, who sported a killer new outfit, courtesy of me and my need to ‘play dress up and go shopping’.

I looked at the man as if he was legally insane. “That’s not at all what I’m saying. I didn’t throw anything away. They treated me like crap, they tried to change who I was, and they made me feel like shit about myself—they bullied me out. I played by the rules that men, like you, have set forth for years and it made me physically, and mentally, exhausted. I decided I’d rather give up baseball and be happy than be miserable playing.”

He wasn’t looking at me anymore and he’d scooted to the end of the couch so he was as far away from me as possible.

“Maybe they were better off after all. It sounds like they cut their losses while they were ahead. People like you are toxic in men's sports.”

I couldn’t believe his words. I was shocked and stunned into silence while the rest of the room exploded. I didn’t know anyone, but most of them defended me against the insults as they brought up the point that OSU hadn’t made it back to the World Series since I left, nor had they held onto the rankings they had while I was on the team.

Only two people jumped in and defended Shane’s dad. Even DAKS, minus Shane who wasn’t in the room anymore, jumped in and defended me and every other gay athlete. It wasn’t long before I thought the room was going to break out into a fight. The air was charged and the tension was painfully high. I couldn’t do anything. I felt pinned to the couch as I watched the room of love become a house divided.

AARP broke through the crowd, displeased by insults and fighting.

“Everyone, stop it! Right now!” Thomas shouted.

He stood in front of Shane’s father and, although he was smaller, he held a fierce and powerful authority. Frankly, Thomas was quite terrifying.

“This is unacceptable! I can’t believe what I’m hearing and seeing. If you have a problem with Donovan, then you are welcome to leave!” He pointed to the door. “Right now!”

Shane’s father stood his ground, “Are you picking that fairy boat over your own family?”

“No! I’m picking decency, kindness, and respect. Something your bigoted ass knows nothing about.”

Shane’s dad pointed at me and yelled as if I wasn’t even a person. “But he’s one menstrual cycle away from being a vagina!”

I don’t know when he returned, but Shane took a step forward and placed his hand on his dad’s chest before speaking softly, “Dad, stop.”

“Sit down, Shane! You don’t need to be a part of this. You’re better than this.”

Him? Better than me? Now I see where Shane got it from. Shane visibly hesitated in front of his dad. As far as I was concerned, it was obvious he wasn’t going to do anything.

“Yeah, Shane wouldn’t want a big, strong man like himself to be seen with a little fag like me, would he? Heaven forbid you catch all of this,” I used jazz hands to drive the point home. “After all, I’m nothing but a tight ass.” I looked at Shane and shook my head with disappointment, “Now I see where you get it from.”

He was a carbon copy of his dad and I knew there was no hope that he’d change—that kind of hate was hardwired in his blood. Thomas, and a few others, looked between Shane and me, confused about what was happening.

“This is bullshit! I can’t believe my family supports this kind of crap. I’ll be in the den, drinking. Come and get me when y'all are ready to have your asses kicked in a real sport, by a real man.”

With that, Shane’s father stormed off to what I assumed was the den. With him gone, the crowd settled a bit as I sat on the couch and leaned my head back so I was looking at the ceiling. No one said anything, but I felt everyone’s eyes on me. Nikki, bless her heart, tried to change the subject to something less intense or hurtful than what had just transpired.

“So, do you have a boyfriend or something?”

Was I Hitler in my past life? What had I done to deserve this? If I could’ve cried in frustration, I would have. My eyes darted to Shane, who had been intently watching me from the other side of the room. Once again, my reply was for everyone, but was specifically directed at Shane.

“Nope. I did, but not anymore.” To my surprise, Shane crossed his arms over his chest and half rolled his eyes like I was being unreasonable.

“What happened?”

I let the question hang in the air for a minute before answering. I needed the added dramatics, I blame my love of the arts.

“It was similar to the baseball situation. He wanted me, at first, but as it turns out, I’m too gay and I embarrass him.”

“What?! He said that?!”

“Might as well have. He told his friends he wasn’t a fag, just enjoyed a tight ass,” I shrugged.

Shane’s eyes got big and were full of regretful and frustration. Too bad, so sad. I glanced at each of his friends while I rose from the couch. I needed to leave before I stooped to their level and said or did something out of line.

“Ask Shane. Shane and his friends should be able to fill in the juicy details better than I can. It was them after all.

“I didn’t say anything!” Drew stepped forward to defended himself.

“You’re right, you didn’t. You didn’t say or do anything at all. You did however, reward the conversation with high-fives, did you not?”

They had the decency to look ashamed and embarrassed. I did hide the hurt and disappointment in my eyes as I turned and walked through the house. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, so I went outside and sat alone on a comfy chair located under a shade umbrella on the large patio. Of all of the things that flooded my mind during my time of solitude, the fact I showed up to the reunion, with the intention of not being myself, was the most irritating.

Why did I allow others to bring me down, again, after everything I’d been through? I couldn’t believe I allowed it to get to me, again. If Shane and his friends couldn’t accept me for who I was, then fuck them. If their families couldn’t, fuck them, too. I was a good person and I had nothing to be embarrassed about.

With a new-found confidence, I decided I was going to stay and see the day to its end. If anyone had a problem with it, they could kiss my waxed ass. With my decision made, I took a deep breath and relaxed and let the new-found peace sink in.

That’s what I was doing when AARP stepped onto the patio. Thomas led the group, with a frown on his face, and pulled up an empty chair.

“I just wanna be clear here, are you telling me Arby is my grandson?”

“And the DAKS are our grandsons?” Jack asked his chair joined Thomas’.

“And nephew,” everyone chuckled at Mickey’s addition.

I rested my head back so I was looking at the sky and let out a heavy sigh.

“Yeah. Arby is your grandson and my biggest mistake.”

Thomas chuckled lightly, but it held no real amusement. “I told you he had issues.”

“It’s too bad I didn’t know who you were talking about. I could’ve saved myself a lot of unnecessary pain.”

“It’s not all him. As you’ve seen, his dad is an asshole when it comes to stuff like this. Shane didn’t exactly have it easy. It was clear from the beginning, the only way his dad would accept him as gay, was if he was twice the man as anyone else. That’s a lot of pressure for anyone, especially a teenager.”

“Are you saying he’s justified?”

Thomas looked mortified, “Oh, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Shane was wrong, but it’s not always black and white. He had a big, negative influence. You work with kids and I’m sure you see the extremes kids go to in an effort to keep their parents happy. It’s not all that different, even for adult kids.”

I returned to my faux relaxed state. “Well, that’s nice, but I don’t care. He’s not my problem anymore.”

Silence hung in the air as no one knew what to say. I felt like a wedge driven into what was supposed to be a happy family day. I didn’t belong there, with them. I was an intruder who was doing nothing but stirring the pot. As much as I wanted to stay and prove a point, the sadness on AARP’s faces made me think otherwise. If I left, they’d have a fighting chance at salvaging the day.

“I should go. I think my welcome has worn out and you guys have a game to get ready for,” I stood and gave AARP a forced smile.

I tried to walk away, Mickey grabbed my arm.

“You’re not going anywhere. We’re going to play and we’re going to win. Bill, Shane, Aaron, Drew, and Kurt deserve to go down. Now, let’s get ready,” he pulled me toward the group. “We want to be tinked and everything. Today, the fairy boat is going to sink the battleship.”

*** *** *** ***

I hadn’t planned on tinking or getting dolled up for the game, luckily, I happened to have all of the supplies I needed in the back of my car. I was a boy scout like that—always prepared—although, I doubt glitter spray, pink hair chalk, and make up was ever on the Boy Scouts list of essential survival items.

AARP was true to their word and wanted all the glitter and makeup, and they weren’t the only ones. The yard was full of family and friends who’d decided the best way to show solidarity was to drag it up for the big game. Nikki happened to have a car full of neon and rainbow-colored accessories so we managed to really take things to the next level. I couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm everyone had as we glammed up for the game. It was more fun than getting ready with the DONNAS.

I was tweaking Christopher's hair, making sure the pink was well placed, when the DAKS walked outside. I saw them coming from the corner of my eye, but ignored them. I wasn’t interested in anything they had to say. They stood clumped together like puppies while they waited for me to acknowledge them. When they realized it was never going to happen, Kurt dug deep and found the balls to say something.

“Do you think we can get tinked, too?”

I assumed they had him ask because he was the most neutral member. He was to DAKS what Alle was to DONNAS; Switzerland. He rarely talked, but when he did, it was almost always something worth hearing. I liked Kurt and I thought he was a decent guy, but I still ignored him and his gang of monkey brained idiots.

The rest of the family waited for me to respond and, when they realized I was ignoring them, they continued with what they were doing without giving the DAKS a second glance. It was cute how they adapted to the way I like things being done. It was almost like they’d been trained by the DONNAS.

Drew and Aaron tried to talk too. They were trying to get me to bite but I didn’t. They had no clue how far I could go. I could be the ice Queen without batting an eye. The closest I came to cracking was when I decided to look at Shane, the only one who hadn’t said a word. He was such a fucking coward, yet, I was the embarrassment? I rolled my eyes at the irony.

Asshole.

I pretended I hadn’t seen the DAKS nudging Shane forward while I used Christopher’s hair as a distraction, even though I’d long since finished. My eyes were pointed at Christopher’s pink tips as my fingers moved aimlessly, but all of my focus was on Shane as he walked toward me while softly pounding his fist into his palm.

“Hey,” Shane softly said. “Do you think we could talk for a minute? I…we need to talk about last night.”

I wondered how long I could fidget with Christopher’s short hair before I stopped fooling everyone. They had to notice there was nothing left to fix so I decided to let the poor kid go. It probably felt very awkward for him, like a sitting duck in the middle of a lake.

I tapped his shoulder and excused him. “Who’s next?” I asked while looking for my next distraction.

A girl, about the same age as Christopher, walked up and stood in the recently vacated spot. Her hair was in a high ponytail so I decided to throw some colors on the ends as I continued to ignored Shane. It didn’t matter that I was hurt or that I hated him, I was still nervous with him standing so close. As much as I wanted him to leave, I also wanted him to stay. I didn’t want to listen to him but I also wanted him to change my mind.

“Come on, Donovan. We really need to talk, I can easily explain everything.”

I stopped messing with the girl’s hair and slowly turned my head toward Shane.

“Just, stop. It’s insulting to the both of us that you think there’s anything to explain. If you want to talk about what happened last night or if you feel the need to decompress the events, then maybe you should call…what was your date’s name? Davis? Yes, call Davis. You two seem to have a lot in common, lots of similar views and opinions.”

“Don’t—”

“Don’t what?” I calmly interrupted.

I was surprised by how calm I felt, it was almost eerie/creepy—similar to the calm before a storm or a psycho immediately before he goes off the deep end. That’d be me, a ticking time bomb. I’d love to go all Girl Interrupted on his ass and do some crazy ass shit.

“Don’t be like this. Don’t write me off without talking to me, first.”

“Without talking to you first? That’s delicious coming from the same guy who stormed out of my house last week without any explanation, then ignored me for an entire week before talking trash about me when he thought I wasn’t within earshot,” I shook my head as I put pink crap in the girl’s hair. “Without talking to me first, ha!” I mock laughed at the amusing statement.

I nudged the young girl to let her know I was finished and waited for the next person. Everyone was trying to casually eavesdrop on our conversation while pretending to not have a clue what was going on. I started on the next person’s hair and felt bad because I wasn’t giving them the undivided attention they deserved. I blamed Shane for making my blood boil.

Without talking to me, first. HA! That statement caused my insides to growl with anger. I shouldn’t have been surprised though, Shane was full of hypocrisy.

I hadn’t really looked at Shane during our brief exchange so I decided to cast a few daggers his way. As soon as I looked at him I knew it had been a mistake. The expression in his deep-brown eyes and the sad lines across his forehead were almost enough to weaken my resolve. Dealing with Shane was like standing on a jagged cliff that overlooks the Ocean. It makes your heart race and takes your breath away, yet the whole time you’re one false move away from the biggest mistake of your life. You know it’s dangerous, you know you should step away, but you just can’t move.

I couldn’t even pinpoint what it was about him. For Christ’s sake, he looked like a frat boy after rush week. His messy auburn hair was covered with a backward cap, he wore a long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a ratty pair of jeans. He was thirty-five going on fifteen, and incredibly underwhelming. I had no solid reason to be attracted to him, but I was and it frustrated me to no end.

I dumped the rest of the pink chalk powder into my hand and rubbed it onto both hands. I softly ran my hands through the ends of the girl’s hair before nudging her with my elbow to dismiss her.

With the girl gone, I turned my full attention to sad Shane and walked toward him until we stood toe to toe and chest to chest. reached up with my pink chalk hands, and squeezed his cheeks together until his lips puckered out.

“You’re a bully. The next time we play each other will be during the World Series. After that, I don’t want to see you, again. Do you understand?”

He tried to shake his head no, but I had his cheeks squeezed between my fingers so I manually nodded his head, yes. He tried to talk but I squeezed harder, making it impossible for him to speak.

His lips went lax when I released his cheeks. I cupped his jaw and felt his three-week beard against my palms as I gently caressed his face. Shane’s eyes softened as he melted into my touch and leaned forward until our foreheads were pressed together. I wished saying goodbye was easy, but it wasn’t. We had a rough road but I genuinely cared for him, more than I ever thought was possible. Even now, with all the shit that’s happened, my heart hurts at the thought of not being with him. In the end, sometimes logic wins.

I rubbed my palms against his cheeks then glided my hands toward his temples before I rubbing his ears. His breath on my face and his hands on my waist sent a shiver of desire and longing throughout my body. It was our last tough.

“I should’ve walked away when you stopped me in the parking lot after our one-night stand but I didn’t. So, this is me walking away…for good.”

I made one last effort to run my palms and the backs of my fingers against any untouched area on his face and across his forehead before I turned and walked away. Once my back was toward him, I smiled as I watched the rest of the team trying to hold back their giggles so as to not give anything away.

“That was quite a show you put on back there. Shane looks lovely, by the way. Pink suits him,” Jack laughed.

“My best work to date. Too bad I didn’t get a chance to beautify his dad, too. They would’ve been a cute little duo.” I smiled, mischievously, as I envisioned Shane and his father all dolled up in bright colors like human versions of “My Little Pony”—the fairyphobe edition, starring Twilight Dick Face and his son Booty Big Sparkle. Oh, the hell that would break-ah-forth.

During our shared intimate moment, I’d successfully transferred all of the excess pink chalk from my hands onto his beard and across his face and ears. Everywhere I’d touched had been victim to my bright pink revenge graffiti. He looked like a pink gnome and the bastard deserved it.

“I’m not sure which one he’ll hate more, but as much as I’d love to see any degree of cross dressing from Bill, I think we’ll have to settle for kicking his ass at baseball.”

We laughed as we made our way to the makeshift field and huddled in a circle, near our “dugout” (a bench). Mickey put his hand in the center and everyone followed. Three quarters of the reunion members, if not more, were on our team. As it turned out, most of the family was pretty badass.

“Are we ready to do this thing?” Mickey motivated.

“The Saints, on three. One, two, three!”

“The Saints!” We yelled in unison.

Our hands broke upward, signaling the beginning of one of the greatest and most pleasurable ass kicking I’d ever had the experience of giving. Even with all the errors from my inexperienced team, we beat without breaking a sweat. Striking out both Shane, and his father, was just the cherry on top. When the game was over one of the younger girls played All the Single Ladies and we danced our asses off while Shane’s dad tried not to combust from anger and embarrassment.

Shane tried to talk to me during the game and again after the game, several times, to no avail. He even tried to catch me on the way to my car after I thought I slipped out, undetected, but the angels above had my back when a few teammates must’ve seen what was happening and happened to need his help with something.

I wanted to punch is sad puppy dog face as I pulled away, flipping him the bird. Once he was out of sight I finally relaxed and let out a long breath that turned into a frustrated scream. It wasn’t the family reunion I’d expected and I wasn’t happy about spending the day with my ex and his family, but beating Shane and his father was oddly satisfying...not enough to lift my bad mood, but it helped.