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    Rigby Taylor
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

A Misunderstanding - 1. A Misunderstanding

A Misunderstanding.

At Art School, Marjory discovered she had the skills but not sufficient imagination or ego to be an artist, so she became a wife and mother. Twenty years later when all except her youngest had fled the coop, she set up a studio in her basement and gave classes to people who had always wanted to draw, but never got around to it. Her ‘Life’ classes proved the most popular, but this evening the model was late and the students watched with concern as Marjory’s self-confidence unravelled.

Her son, who sometimes joined the class, offered to telephone and sort out the problem. He sprinted upstairs, stood quietly at the top and counted to one hundred, then ran back down to inform his mother that the model had left town leaving no forwarding address.

“Oh my goodness! It’s too late to find another! What on earth shall I do?”

“I’ll model – but I choose my own poses.”

“You're too young! The students need a professional!”

“Mum, I know what to do.”

With ill-concealed nervousness Marjory apologised to the class while Antony slipped behind the screen, stripped, checked that everything was as it should be, stepped onto the podium and adopted a series of athletic three-minute poses that kept the would-be artists delighted and very busy.

Marjory gazed in awe. She’d always left Antony to organise his own life, assuming his avoidance of groups and preference for solo pursuits like computing, karate, swimming and reading meant he was a bit of a nerd. But under the spotlight she discovered her little boy had become a handsome young man with well defined muscles; manhood jutting almost too proudly from its nest of pubic hair. She gazed nervously around. No one seemed perturbed. The busy scratching of pencils the only sound.

She felt dizzy and sat down. This morning Antony had been her baby. Tonight he was a man! When had it happened? A chunk of her life was missing! She’d been too busy to notice. The realisation was bleakly depressing.

For the twenty-minute poses Antony chose difficult positions, yet remained utterly still, exuding a confidence she’d never guessed he possessed. Close cropped hair emphasised his fine head and smooth young neck. And such well shaped legs! In the two-minute breaks between poses he wandered naked among the easels and stools to look at drawings and charm the artists with praise, questions and ingenuous smiles.

Marjory’s heart missed several beats. What must her students be thinking! Models should never mingle with students when naked!

Antony had been practising his poses for two weeks; since intercepting the model’s phone call saying she was moving interstate. He told himself he was doing it as a social experiment. People didn't question a nude man posing for an art class, but what if he wandered around naked between poses and during the tea break? If he could charm everyone into accepting him doing that, it would prove taboos against nudity were not inherent in human nature.
Of course there was also another, perhaps more truthful reason that he kept tucked away at the back of his brain in case anyone found out. The idea of being naked in a room full of dressed strangers had fuelled his sexual fantasies for weeks.

The other models his mother used, usually kept their legs together and reclined, sat or stood in positions that required the minimum amount of energy. Antony did the opposite; holding poses for long minutes in extreme positions to demonstrate strength and flexibility. High karate kicks, gymnastic exercises, a sprinter poised for the starter’s pistol... complicated and powerful stances that thrilled his audience and left him exposed and vulnerable. But he didn’t feel vulnerable. While cleverly presenting himself as naïve and innocent so no one would guess he was getting a thrill out of it, he felt wondrously potent.
Luckily for his image, the difficult poses required constant monitoring to avoid sagging, and this, together with the sometimes extreme discomfort, ensured that arousal remained purely cerebral and no one had the slightest cause to object.

Time passed too quickly.

At tea break, Antony jumped from the podium and began handing round biscuits and beverages with such friendly, guileless naiveté that everyone assumed he was unaware of the extraordinary effect he was having. The students had never been so friendly and chatty; so bubbling with enthusiasm. Marjory couldn’t decide if she was embarrassed, jealous or pleased. A unanimous decision booked him for the next five sessions, and his mother agreed to use him for her two other Life classes.

“You're braver than me,” his father said with a smile when told of his son’s success.

Antony didn't consider himself brave; he’d been enjoying the most liberating experience of his life! And that made him wonder if anyone was really brave. Perhaps sky-divers and mountain climbers were just like him – doing what they wanted. What an inner voice insisted they do.

 

Deirdre, his mother’s divorced school friend, had recently joined an evening class in the vain hope of meeting someone who appreciated her. She wasn’t talented and found it difficult to finish drawings in the time available. Would Antony pose privately? He always needed money so agreed on the spot, leaving his mother unable to object. On his next free evening he found himself reclining naked over an antique divan in Deirdre’s Spanish-style duplex.

Barefoot in a flimsy sun frock, Deirdre stood at her easel muttering to herself. “Oh! It’s so difficult. Come and tell me what I'm doing wrong.”

Bored and pleased to stretch his muscles, Antony stood beside her. A smooth hand caressed his buttocks.

“Looks OK to me,” he muttered, moving away to hide his annoyance.

“Let’s change the pose,” she said, taking his hand.

He pulled away.

“You're tense. I’ll give you a massage.”

Before he could find the words to refuse, he was face down enduring an amateurish pummelling. It was unpleasant and the carpet wasn’t particularly clean, so he rolled over intending to get up and tell her to stop. The words never made it into the air. Deirdre had already slipped off her dress and before he could escape she’d straddled his calves, pressed him back onto the carpet and begun sucking on his penis. To his astonishment it engorged! He wanted to scream; pound her head with his fists... but was terrified she’d bite it off, so lay still, watching in frozen horror as his tormentor slid forward, rose onto her knees, reached behind, grasped his erection and lowered herself onto it.

As if drugged he stared at her soft white belly, a patch of hair and long brown nipples that jiggled inches from his face. He thrust them away, repelled by the softness.

She didn't notice; just kept riding him. Grunting.

Claustrophobic anger anaesthetised all sensation. How dare she? How dare she! After an age, a series of ecstatic moans signalled his release.

Deirdre rolled off and sprawled on her back. “Ah! I needed that!”

 

At home Antony stood in the shower scrubbing his genitals till they hurt. He felt unclean. Used. Why hadn’t he stopped her? She’d treated him like a blow-up doll! What was wrong with him? Why hadn’t he enjoyed it? Why hadn’t he shoved her off and left? Why hadn’t he ripped shit out of her before going home? He couldn’t face her again. No one must ever find out! The shame! He couldn’t model again. The bitch had ruined everything!

He muddled through the next day at school earning reprimands for inattention, but didn't care; he deserved punishment for being such a useless wimp. Pocketing a Stanley knife from the art class he hid himself in the toilets and made small cuts on his forearms. It hurt, but he wanted it to. Then he realised people would ask questions. There was nowhere he could cut himself because the following night, unless he could think of an excuse, he’d be naked in front of a drawing class. The thought made him feel sick.

Alone in his room, self-hatred mushroomed until his brain was consumed by one thought – he had to kill himself. A night spent wondering how to do it left him incapable of getting out of bed.

His father, worried about his son’s mood the previous evening and non-arrival at breakfast, came to investigate.

“You OK?”

Antony remained facing the wall.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Shame took a back seat to anger and tears. “Deirdre raped me! You have to prosecute her!”

“What happened?”

If Antony left out any detail it was unintentional.

His father thought for a while, then said softly, “I watched you the other evening. You looked mature and confident. I was proud of you. During the breaks you wandered around, completely at ease, and, astonishingly, everyone else was equally relaxed. That’s quite an achievement!”

“But no reason for...”

“You visited Deirdre, accepted a massage, and got an erection. What was the woman to think?”

“But... I couldn’t help it!”

“Yes... I remember... always stiff at the most inopportune moments. Enjoy it while it lasts.” His smile was perplexed. “Didn’t you enjoy any of it?”

“I hated all of it!”

“She’s a good looking woman.”

“I felt sick when she touched me – and when I touched her.”

“Did you ask her to stop?”

“I couldn’t. It was like I was frozen.”

“Did she hurt anything – apart from your aesthetic sensibilities and pride?”

“No, but that’s not the point!”

“Remember a couple of years ago I took you to the Grand Prix and you endured a day of noise and fumes and racing cars going round and round and you swore it was the worst day of your life?”

“Yes.”

“I thought I was giving you a treat. Perhaps this was a similar misunderstanding.”

“She didn't give a stuff about me!”

“Most men would be jealous.”

“And probably the kids at school too! But I hated it!”

“Does she know?”

“Don’t think so.”

“If you lay charges everyone will find out. Is that what you want?”

“No!”

“Then just file it under Lessons-Learned.”

“What lesson? Stay away from randy old bitches?”

“No. Only be naked alone with people you fancy.”

“So I was stupid.”

“Innocent.”

“And now I'm soiled goods.” Antony dredged up a smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Making me feel useful.”

 

To Antony’s relief, as soon as he stepped onto the podium that evening the exhilaration returned – as powerful as ever. During supper, instead of mingling he chatted to Stephen, a slim and darkly intense student who was hoping to get into Art School. Deirdre sidled up and handed him an envelope. “You forgot your fee,” she said roguishly, patting him lightly on the bum.

All anger had dissipated; transformed into benign contempt. Antony took the envelope, nodded vaguely and returned his attention to Stephen.

“Your fee?” asked Stephen with a friendly leer. “Don’t tell me you...”

“Hardly! She’s an old bag. I just sat for her at home.”

“That’s what I need so I can finish my Entry Folio.”

As if in a trance Antony heard himself saying, “If you like... I could...”

“Just joking. Can't afford it anyway.”

“No charge – I've nothing better to do.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

 

 

 

Copyright © 2018 Rigby Taylor; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Hi Rigby,

 

thank you for continuing to share your writing - thrilled to see some of what I suspect is your newer work. i have very little to add to the above (though agree with most of those comments). I am, though, curious if you are self censoring some.

 

When Antony was considering death the thought was discarded in a single sentence, albeit over hours for Antony. It does fit in well with the story being short though seems to be a very different approach to the subject for you. 

 

thanks for your generosity

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4 hours ago, NoSkis said:

Hi Rigby,

 

thank you for continuing to share your writing - thrilled to see some of what I suspect is your newer work. i have very little to add to the above (though agree with most of those comments). I am, though, curious if you are self censoring some.

 

When Antony was considering death the thought was discarded in a single sentence, albeit over hours for Antony. It does fit in well with the story being short though seems to be a very different approach to the subject for you. 

 

thanks for your generosity

Thank you NoSkis. for your thoughtful comment. Rather than go into a detailed description of Anthony's misery, I thought it more interesting to let readers invest him with their own feelings. As for self censoring -- I have to, being prone to polemic hyperbole. 'Less is more,' my Art teacher used to insist when I tried to include every detail. 'Set the scene and let the observer have the pleasure of filling in the gaps.'  Thanks for your generosity in taking the trouble to comment.

 

10 hours ago, Okiegrad said:

So happy to see another story from you!  Very well written and quite interesting, as always!  And such a true tale.....boys shouldn’t cry..... boys should be happy to be objectified.....boys should be happy to have the chance for sex.    Boys should never have feelings, nor should they ever be a victim.  Sad, but so true to life.

So happy to have a comment from you, Okie -- You are right, boys and men are subject to heavy behavioural obligations -- it may not make them happy, but it does make them unquestioningly obedient workers and soldiers. Surely it's worth it, so the rich can get richer? :unsure:

 

11 hours ago, Canuk said:

Interesting perspective. Fathers reaction was so predictable. Not the same if it had been his daughter!

Weirdly if Deidre had been honest, it may have been an entirely different experience and in fact better for both. Sadly she was a little too selfish for that. 

 

Great to see you back!

Great to have yet another comment from you, Canuk. Yes. Deidre suffers from a common adult fantasy that young people have the same sorts of feelings and desires about sex as adults. It's deliberate amnesia. Like all sexually awakening young people, Anthony was simply testing his attractiveness, not soliciting for sex; never imagining his behaviour would be misinterpreted and he could lose control. I still recall vividly the horror I felt as an adolescent when fondled by an adult  because I was wearing a backless thong at a beach party. Anthony's father was remiss in not taking his son's experience seriously. Public exposure would compound the problem, but he should have taken his son and confronted Dierdre, forcing her to accept her error and apologise, thus restoring Anthony's self respect. For me, the most worrying development was his sudden callous contempt for Deirdre, then going off to pose naked with a stranger. It suggests his comments about being 'soiled goods' were not a joke -- that in his heart he does feel soiled -- a slut -- and  might as well act like one.

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I see from your self-description information that you are Australian. I wonder if the mores of your country permit public nudity more easily than in some other English speaking lands. In my very brief visit to Sidney and the East Coast several years ago, I found a little more relaxed attitude toward partial nudity than I see in the US. I thought at the time, 'Hey, this is great - a land with lots of sunshine and bare bums to go with it!'

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13 minutes ago, Will Hawkins said:

I see from your self-description information that you are Australian. I wonder if the mores of your country permit public nudity more easily than in some other English speaking lands. In my very brief visit to Sidney and the East Coast several years ago, I found a little more relaxed attitude toward partial nudity than I see in the US. I thought at the time, 'Hey, this is great - a land with lots of sunshine and bare bums to go with it!'

Yes, Will, Most states apart from Queensland, have legal, clothing optional beaches, although there's a famous nude beach in Noosa, where I live, and also north of Cairns -- so much for laws. You can wear pretty much as little as you like on all beaches -- as long as your bits are covered and there aren't complaints from other beach goers. While females are wearing less and less in public, young males seem increasingly more conservative in dress, I suspect because they  are more heavily influenced by the USA than my generation, who looked to the UK and Europe, where nudism has always been an accepted activity for those who feel like it. But even there,  puritanical US attitudes towards sex and nakedness appear to have infected  the young. Immigrants from Moslem countries also appear to be having an influence on how much flesh it is acceptable to bare. I am very, very pleased to have been young and sexy before the mid 1980s. Today's priggish, censorious attitudes to male nudity offend me. [I'm referring to reality -- not the two dimensional fakery of internet porn, the proliferation of which is a symptom of a sexually warped society.] My books use nudity as an indication of decency -- a healthy mind in healthy body -- in the classical tradition.

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Speaking of Cairns: When our singing group, The Seattle Men's Chorus, was scheduled to appear there as a windup of our tour of OZ, we rather overfilled the Motel we were scheduled to stay at overnight. As a result, I, as a non-singing member (I was an Assistant Stage Manager) was asked to share a room with a young Aussie man in a portion of the Motel which was temporarily being used for employee accommodations. Our room was located on the far side of a swimming pool, well away from the normal tourist rooms. My roommate asked if I want to go swimming that evening and when I complained about not having swimwear with me, said, "No drama, Mate, we'll just go nuddy." Well, it was after dark, so I put my American shyness on the shelf for a moment and we had a great time splashing around in the warm water.

At one time I was sitting on the edge of the pool to catch my breath and he swam up between my knees to service me. That was only the first time and we enjoyed a great closeness several times after retiring that night.

(Remember, I was much younger then). The next morning he sent me off to take a shower while he packed my suitcase for the bus to the airport and the flight home. It wasn't until I arrived back in Seattle and unpacked my bag that I found the note, "You deserve this." tucked into the pocket of the wildly tropical patterned shirt that was the uniform for the Motel Staff he had sneaked into my luggage. It is now nearly fifty years later and I still treasure that shirt.

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The negative feelings you’ve described so well about an unwanted sexual incident appear to me, from personal experience and conversation, to be relatively common (at least in the US) for first or early sexual experiences. It seems our ‘advanced culture’ has failed miserably to create an environment where humans are able to safely experience sexual awakening and learn healthy sexual attitudes and boundaries. You have a very interesting observation, it is worrisome that Anthony cuts off his feelings into a callous contempt for Deidre and chooses to pose naked with a stranger at the next opportunity. I wonder if his new confidence in talking to Stephen may be a result of closing off the feelings resulting from his painful experience with Deidre, and in doing so decoupling sexual encounters from the gravitas and social forms meant to contain and protect the center of passion and sexuality and the tenderness necessary to create a safe and pleasurable experience not only of hormonal delights, but also the ‘essential self’. Anthony falls prey to the unnecessary attribution of the self-created characteristics of the ‘essential self’, in this case purity, to outside experiences. I worry Anthony’s wound will be hard to heal because he does not have the support of his father, or a perspective which allows him to analyze and process the experience and reaffirm his inner self. I am afraid that by closing off these negative feelings, and therefore shutting off the part of his body and mind that experienced them, as well as letting his ‘essential self’ be affected by a self-perception that he is ‘soiled goods’, Anthony is likely to act with a callousness to his own delicate sexual emotions and in doing so will likely put himself into positions which will exacerbate his wound, creating further numbness and compartmentalization and making the eventual road to healing and realigning the body and spirit more difficult. Or Stephen will be a great guy and help him sort his problems out...:/

Edited by sef
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3 hours ago, sef said:

It seems our ‘advanced culture’ has failed miserably to create an environment where humans are able to safely experience sexual awakening and learn healthy sexual attitudes and boundaries.

This is inevitable in a society in which indoctrinated feelings of guilt about natural expressions of sexuality are used as psychological weapons by religion to control the political agenda.

3 hours ago, sef said:

I wonder if his new confidence in talking to Stephen may be a result of closing off the feelings resulting from his painful experience with Deidre, and in doing so decoupling sexual encounters from the gravitas and social forms meant to contain and protect the center of passion and sexuality and the tenderness necessary to create a safe and pleasurable experience not only of hormonal delights, but also the ‘essential self’.

In a sane society this would not occur, but the omnipresent religious interdiction of nudity, innocent sexual exploration and  activity outside marriage, too often ensures a lifetime of self abuse of one sort or another by those caught 'sinning',  to atone for the"sin". Only those who have no dealings with organised religions have a hope of sexual sanity.

3 hours ago, sef said:

I am afraid that by closing off these negative feelings, and therefore shutting off the part of his body and mind that experienced them, as well as letting his ‘essential self’ be affected by a self-perception that he is ‘soiled goods’, Anthony is likely to act with a callousness to his own delicate sexual emotions and in doing so will likely put himself into positions which will exacerbate his wound, creating further numbness and compartmentalization and making the eventual road to healing and realigning the body and spirit more difficult. Or Stephen will be a great guy and help him sort his problems out...:/

As his father didn't invoke religion and seemed easy about the affair, it is almost certain Anthony will sort himself out, because he is very proud of his body and will not want to defile it. Stephen is a student with concerns of his own, but his interest and admiration will reinforce Anthony's sense of physical self worth, and from that it is but a short step to mental re-balancing. I have no fears for his future well-being.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments.

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