The Weigh Down - 3. Chapter 3. Part 1

I can’t help but glance over at Gavin who is sprawled out across his bed in nothing but Calvin Klein boxers that are tight. I didn’t realize it was possible for someone to have so many muscles in their back, but he does. He has the tightest bubble butt I have ever seen. Yes, I have seen him in just swim trunks on Instagram, but this is real life. I silently laugh as he lets out one of the softest snores I have ever heard.

I grab my laptop from my bag and boot it up. I need something to distract me from looking at Gavin. I am already starting to sport a hard-on from looking at him. I log into my domain on the website, I have a few personal messages and I check them.

Most of them are just requests or asking me to do a private show. I answer some of the request telling them after my vacation I could do some of the stuff they want to see. I don’t bother with answering the ones that want me to do a private show for free. I click into the chat room.

A ton of user start logging on, I guess they have the notifications on when we go live. I don’t have a webcam on this laptop, so I can’t exactly go live. I can just chat which is fine with me. I start getting DMs from my normal payers. Asking why I haven’t been on, I tell them I am on vacation and will be back in a week or so.

I go to answer another message when I am kicked from the site. What the fuck? I feel my phone vibrate next to me causing me to jump. I check the name flashing on the screen and it’s Taylor.

“Hello?” I whisper.

“Joshua. What are you doing, and why are you whispering?” Taylor asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I go into the bathroom and shut the door. “Sorry, I had to go into the bathroom. I have to share a room.”

“With Clint’s son? Which one the oldest or the younger one?” Taylor asks.

“Wait you know who he is?”

He laughs, “Of course I know who Clint is. I use his company when all of you go out with clients that haven’t established themselves and I don’t trust them.”

“You knew this whole time he wasn’t interested in me?”

I hear him let out a sigh, “Jay…. I did know, but here’s the thing if I would have told you what he wanted would you have done it?”

I hesitate before answering, “you know damn well I wouldn’t have.”

“This is why I decided to keep you in the dark on it. So, who are you sharing a room with?”

“Gavin, the oldest one. I think the youngest is still in Colorado. Hey, I think something is wrong with the site I was kicked and I couldn’t log back in.”

“Nothing is wrong with the site, I took your account offline and put it on hiatus.” He says.

“Why!” I say a little louder than intended.

“You are on vacation, and I am not having you on the site. I know you, and this is something you need to do is take time and enjoy life, enjoy the outside world away from people that just want to see you naked.”

“Well, that’s the only time I feel wanted.” I say without realizing it.

There is a long silence on the other end and I prop myself up on the counter in the bathroom, fuck I can’t believe I just said that. “Josh….I didn’t realize you were that lonely.” Taylor says softly.

I try to keep my voice steady without it breaking. “I am, I just don’t like saying anything about it.”

“Maybe, we need to get you to a therapist. Promise we can talk about it when you come back to town?”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone, I’m fine, I was just frustrated that you kicked me from the site.” I tell him. Honestly, I don’t know who I am trying to convince him or myself. I think the biggest issue I have is I don’t have a life. I throw myself into work because I never want to end up on the streets again.

“Joshua!” Taylor shouts on the other end of the phone.

“What?”

“Did you hear a word of anything that I said?”

“Honestly? No, I didn’t.”

Taylor sighs, “Just enjoy your vacation, I put a bonus in your bank account today. Buy yourself some clothes or something.” He tells me, I can hear it in his voice he is tired of arguing.

“If I do will you drop the whole therapy thing?”

“If you start taking your days off. Participating in life, then yeah I will back off.”

“Deal.”

I hear a knock on the bathroom door, “Hey, Josh. You okay?” Gavin asks.

“I gotta go.” I tell Taylor.

“Have fun, be safe.” He says and hangs up.

I open the door and Gavin is right there his arm resting on the frame of the door. My eyes drop to his abs, they are ridiculous. I have never seen someone with a stomach like his. They are not bulging like normal people’s, but they are chiseled and rippling under his skin it’s hard to describe it but it’s a turn on. he is also still in his tight-fitting Calin Klein boxer. I gulp, “I’m ok. Are you?”

He smiles and drops his arm and takes a step back, so I can walk past him. “Yeah, just thought you were arguing on the phone. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I just nod my head and go to the window, I don’t want to make eye contact with him because I don’t want to stare at his stomach, his sexy arms, or the nice bulge he has. “FUCK,” I think to myself I don’t think I am going to be able to concentrate on anything with him around.

“Your twin again?” He asks from behind me.

I turn around he is a few feet away from me, “Huh?”

He smiles, “Was that your Twin again?”

“Yeah, it was Joe.” I lie, I mean what am I supposed to say. No sorry, it’s my actual boss, I work as a cam model/escort.

“The two of you must be really close. He has called you a few times today, are you the oldest?”

I laugh, “No, I am younger than Joe. He just likes to play my keeper apparently.”

He leans on the desk that has a lamp on it. “I can understand that. I get that way with Xander. I wanted to ask if you were okay if I had a friend come over? He wants to do a photoshoot here in the room.”

I hesitate, “yeah, I will just go out and get some coffee. I mean it’s technically your room.” I tell him.

“Oh…I thought you could stay. Keep me company, and after we could go get some coffee.” He says kind of disappointed.

I mentally cuss myself, “I…yeah that is cool. I just thought you would want to do your thing, and I didn’t want to be in the way.”

He laughs, “you wouldn’t get in the way. I thought it would be cool for you to see behind the scenes on what goes through a photo shoot. That way when I post them eventually you would know that it wasn’t all that glorious. You do have an Instagram, right? Do you follow me?”

Yeah, I have a few Instagram accounts, one for my cam model, and my personal one which doesn’t have shit on it. “Yeah, I have one. I don’t really post anything on it, and I don’t follow you. I think I just follow my brother, and some singers and stuff.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and logging into my personal Instagram, just to make sure I don’t follow him.

Gavin grabs my phone, I don’t try to take it back. “Dude you posted a picture like 5 months ago. Holy shit you aren’t lying you do have a twin. Is that your mom?” He asks looking up from the phone.

“That’s my aunt. I…we live with her when we aren’t at the dorms.” I say.

“That’s insane, I have never actually known anyone who had a twin, well I did but they weren’t identical. Shit, it’s crazy you two are identical.”

I just laugh and watch as he taps away on my phone and then takes his out. “What are you doing?”

He looks up and gives me a grin. “I followed you and texted myself from your phone, so I have your number.”

“You actually wanted my number?” I say not really believing it.

He shrugs his shoulder, “yeah, I mean you work for my dad and you don’t mind the craziness. I mean I can erase it if you don’t want me having it…..sorry I guess I just got ahead of myself.” He says again with that disappointment.

“No, I mean yeah it’s cool. I just didn’t know that you would ever talk to me after this trip. I figured you would be off on your next adventure.”

He doesn’t grin anymore, “I thought I would just go home. Go to college, be there for my little brother and just focus on my social media platforms from Colorado. If would be cool to have someone level-headed as a friend. I am asking you this because it could get a bit crazy if we do become friends. My fans will know everything about you. I mean you have been so relaxed about it all so far, so I just thought.”

“Gavin, it’s cool. I mean if that’s what you decide to do then cool you will know someone in Colorado who isn’t famous.” I tell him trying to reassure him. Even though the chances of him talking to me is slim to none.

We just look at one another as he hands my phone back to me. I put it in my pocket not breaking eye contact with Gavin. This is the first time I have been able to maintain eye contact with anyone in a long time without feeling guilty, or embarrassed. Just then two wraps knock on the door, and it opens, and Jane comes in. “Am I interrupting something?” Jane asks.

“No, just looking at Josh’s Instagram. He really does have an identical twin!” Gavin says.

She nods, “interesting, anyway Jesse is here with his camera.”

“You sound like you don’t like him.” I say.

“She loves Jesse.” Gavin says smiling.

Jane rolls her eyes, “if you fucking say so.”

Just then a tall thick ginger walks in with an expensive camera hanging around his neck. “Awe Janey you do love me.”

“I’d love to break your fucking jaw.” She growls and comes to stand next to me.

Jesse laughs, “I think she’s finally admitting she has feelings for me.” He tells Gavin and they hug.

“I really want to break his jaw.” Jane tells me leaning into me which took me by surprise.

Gavin and Jesse talk for a second, and Gavin tells him he will get dressed but Jesse stops him. “No this is perfect. You are in CK boxers, you look like you just woke up and have this messy bed head look. It’s perfect!”

“This is why I hate him. Every chance he gets he has Gavin shirtless.” Jane tells me.

“Is he gay?” I ask.

She shakes her head, “I don’t give a damn, it’s annoying that the only way he makes his money is shooting photos of Gavin shirtless.”

I just stand beside Jane the whole time. We move when Gavin poses by a window and listens to Jesse tell him where to stand or how to do certain things. I honestly think Jesse is good at what he does, Gavin looks perfect in every pose. His eyes shift to me, “what about you? You trying to get in on the action?”

“No.” Gavin says sharply.

I shoot Gavin a questioning look, “no, I am not a social media influencer or anything. I am just a mere commoner.”

I see Gavin wince at my words. I don’t like people speaking for me, and I wished he wouldn’t have done that at all. Jesse didn’t catch my jab, so he goes back to ordering Gavin around. “I am going to go out to the patio.” I tell Jane.

She follows me out onto the patio, I wrap my arms around myself to fight the chill of the outside off. “Just a mere commoner huh?”

I laugh, “yeah that’s me.”

“Don’t like people speaking for you Jack?” She asks looking me in the eye.

I feel dread spread through my body, and my smile drops from my face. “How do you know that name.”

She continues looking at me, “It’s my job, Josh. I did a ton of digging, I also have access to all our company’s employee files. Funny yours isn’t among any of the recent hires, I’ll admit you are good about hiding your escort, webcam model life. I took a photo of you at lunch and it took our system a little while to find out your other life. I did manage to pull up your personal information though. Joseph is your identical twin who was born five minutes earlier, you also live with your aunt Lydia. Your grades are shit and you work for a man named Taylor.”

“What do you want.” I ask with no emotion.

“Did Clint bring you here for Gavin?” She asks.

I let out a laugh, “Yes, but I didn’t know that until we landed. I thought he was just some weird older guy who wanted my company.”

She rolls her eyes, “That sounds just like Clint. Was he trying to hook you two up?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t even believe him when he told me the real reason. Look you can check my phone I don’t have any pictures or anything of him. I told Clint I wasn’t going to sleep with Gavin. He said he didn’t mean for me to, just to be a friend or whatever if we even got along.”

“You know Gavin is gay?”

I nod, “I wasn’t going to say anything I signed the NDA. I don’t sleep with clients.” I say firmly.

I flinch as she leans closer to me. “Relax Josh, I won’t hurt you. If Clint went through all this trouble, it’s because he’s worried about how lonely his son is.”

I look over at her surprised, “are you going to tell him?”

She shakes her head. “No, I assume you will if you and Gavin do click. Which the way he watches you he has an interest in you. Just don’t hurt him, or I will break your jaw.”

“How much did you find out about my “other life.” I ask her.

She laughs again, “Let’s say I have seen everything.”

Heat creeps up my cheeks. “I think I want to jump off this patio.” I joke.

“Are you gay?”

I nod, “Yeah, and I am out to my brother and aunt.”

“You know Gavin isn’t correct?”

“I know.” I tell her.

She squints her eyes at me, “how did you meet Clint?”

I laugh, “he needed an escort. The original one he booked had to cancel cause his dog died. I was supposed to be his escort the week after.”

She starts to giggle, “You mean Clint took you out?”

I start to giggle as well. I stop for a second and realize this is the first time I have laughed like this and meant it. “It was weird, I had no idea what he wanted. I was nervous cause we get some weird clients.”

“Do you have sex with them?” her tone getting serious.

I shake my head, “I flat out refuse too. I hate escorting as it is, but Taylor pleaded with me plus I got a nice pay from it. There are some escorts like the one who canceled he would have tried to sleep with Clint, hell he would have fangirled over Gavin.” I comment.

“Why don’t you like escorting?”

I shudder thinking of the specific memory. “All it takes is one bad person to ruin it.”

“I would have hated the other guy huh?” Jane asks changing the subject.

I shrug, “Lane doesn’t care who he sleeps with as long as he’s getting paid and laid.”

“Are all of you gay?”

I shake my head, “No. I am, some are bisexual, and some are gay for pay.”

“So, you just do Webcam stuff huh?”

“It’s safer, and we can hide our location. The only issue is I could be recognized but there is no proof. Hence the fake name.”

“Do you do stuff with other models?” She asks.

“No! Taylor would kick us out so fast. He doesn’t deal with drama. Look, I don’t anticipate Gavin talking to me once he gets back home and back into the swing of his life and his social media. I don’t plan to taint him or anything, so you don’t have to worry.” I say trying to end the conversation.

Her eyebrows raise up, “You need to relax. Gavin is twenty-one he is an adult and can make his own decisions. I wasn’t trying to be hostile with you, I have never met anyone in your line of work, so it intrigued me. You seemed pretty relaxed, so I thought I could ask a few questions.”

“Oh…I thought you were going to…I don’t know not be okay with what I do.” I say regretting that I got upset.

“Let me guess your twin doesn’t approve.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh, “that’s an understatement he tried to say I need to get tested even though he sleeps around more.”

“Your twin is gay too?” She asked shocked.

“Hell no, Joe is as straight as they come.”

She doesn’t say anything, “Something bad must have happened between you two. You get this dark look over your face when he is mentioned, or he calls.

“Yeah something like that. I just want to enjoy my weekend here because I know all hell is going to break loose when I do get home.”

Jane doesn’t reply to me, because Gavin walks out onto the patio and squeezes in-between us. “Well aren’t you two just buddies now?” He says smiling looking between the two of us.

“Yeah, I am leaving you for him.” Jane says fluttering her eyes at me.

“Sorry Gav, she just likes me more.” I say grinning. I am totally aware of his bare skin touching me, and I realize he is still in nothing but boxers.

“Gav huh?” He says smirking.

I roll my eyes, “I shorten everyone’s name. I’m lazy.” I say defensively.

“Where is that fucking leech at?” Jane asks looking over her shoulder.

“I think he’s still in the room, I told him I wanted a break for a few moments.”

“Damnit Gavin you know you can’t leave anyone in your hotel room alone!” She says taking off into the hotel room.

I just stare out at the city not saying anything still fully aware of how close Gavin is to me. “What are you thinking?” He says close to my ear.

I shake my head, “It’s so intense here. Aren’t you cold?” I ask looking over at him his nipples are hard and I silently chuckle to myself.

He looks down at his crotch, “it’s a bit chilly the boys are for sure cold.” He laughs.

I roll my eyes, “you are weird.”

We both lock eyes, and I feel intoxicated by him. my phone starts buzzing in my pocket, and whatever moment we just had is over.

“Joseph, I swear to god if you are asking me about New York again I am going to hurl my phone into the streets.” I say into the phone.

“Why are you in New York Josh?” My aunt says.

I hesitate, and my eyes go wide, and Gavin just laughs. “Aunt Lydia, hey I didn’t know it was you.”

“Is your screen broken, I mean we do have caller ID on our cell phones. I wasn’t expecting to get yelled at for calling my nephew who hasn’t seen his aunt in over a week. Now, what is this nonsense about New York?”

“It’s for my new job. I am in New York this weekend, I thought Joe told you?”

“He hasn’t told me a damn thing. When are you coming back?”

“I will be back Sunday evening. Aunt Lydia can you please talk to Joe and get him to stop harassing me, he has called so much.”

She sighs, “Josh, you know he feels guilty about what happened.”

I let my anger get the best of me, “I don’t care Aunt Lydia. He is the reason I was on the streets for months, I don’t give a damn what he feels I have a right to feel like this. Sure, our mother kicked him out, but he knew you lived close by I didn’t! just get him to leave me alone for the weekend.”

“Josh, I will get him to leave you alone. Promise me though we will all sit down this coming weekend and come to some sort of an agreement. I can’t keep doing this with you two boys damnit. I love you both and yes you are correct he didn’t get it as hard as you, but you are stronger than that and if you keep letting this tear you two apart there will be nothing left and one day you two will need each other. I won’t be here for forever!”

“Okay, Aunt Lydia I promise.” I tell her.

She lets out a sigh, “Okay sweetie. Have fun in New York, and I will handle Joe.”

I hang up the phone and look over at Gavin who has his eyebrows raised. I open my mouth to say something, but Gavin holds up his hand. “It’s okay man. You don’t have to explain yourself to me or anyone for that matter. If you want to talk about it cool, if not that’s cool too.”

“Thanks.” I say realizing I have lost every chance I had with him.

Jesse pops his head outside. “Gavin let’s go man.”

Gavin puts his hand on my shoulder, “You okay though?”

I don’t meet his eye I keep my face forward staring into the city and just nod my head. Things are going to be different now. Fuck it might as well just enjoy my time here, I go back into the hotel room, and Jesse has Gavin sitting on the bathroom counter on arm on a bent knee his other covering his crotch if not everything would be on display. I catch Gavin’s eye and he smirks, I raise my eyebrows up in response.

“Everything okay?” Jane coming up next to me with coffee.

“Where’d you get coffee?”

“They had it downstairs if I knew I would have gotten you a cup. Okay, Jesse, it’s time to wrap this up. You gotta go we have an event to get to.”

“Isn’t it here at the hotel?” I ask Jane.

She gives me the are you dumb look, “no, it’s not here it’s a few blocks from here at a different hotel.”

“Oh, an event. Can I come?” Jesse asks Gavin.

“Sorry, invite-only man. Plus, they have a photographer for it already.” Gavin says shaking his hand.

“Alright, alright. I will email these over soon enough. Let me know when it’s ok to post, or I will just wait for you too.” Jesse says grabbing his bag.

“Just give me a few weeks first.” Gavin says walking Jesse to the door.

Jane lets out a sigh, “I thought he would never fucking leave. I need to grab the Tuxedos out of my room.”

“I can’t wait to show you the shots!” Gavin says walking closer to me.

I nod, “yeah, that was interesting.”

“Each photographer works differently. I am not always this bare.” Gavin says gesturing to himself.

Jane walks back in and hands one of the tuxs to Gavin and the other to me. “Shoes are in the bottom.”

I lay mine on the bed and unzip it. It’s a white tuxedo, and a royal blue bow-tie and black shoes. I look over at Gavin who is looking at his. “I approve.” He says smiling at me.

Jane leaves saying she needs to go get dressed. I just look from the suite to Gavin, I didn’t think I would have to change in front of him, and I don’t want to seem like it’s a big deal. I take the white shirt and lay it out, with my back standing towards Gavin I take off my shirt, which I feel immature for doing considering I am on display almost every night. I slide the button-down shirt on it feels good against my skin, I slip my joggers off and put them on the bed I straighten out my boxers and grab the pants.

I can feel his eyes watching me, I sneak a glance at him and sure enough, he is openly gawking at me. I slide on the pants and start buttoning my shirt and tucking the rest into my pants before I button them up. I sit down on the bed and slide the dress shoes on. I feel weird in the tux, I have never worn one before.

I pick up the bow-tie and look at it and look to Gavin who is already dressed. How the hell did he beat me? “uh….hey Gavin.”

“Need help with that?” He says closing the distance between us.

I nod my head, “I never wore one of these before.”

He smiles, “I wear plenty of them.”

He takes the bow-tie from my hand his fingers grazing mine, I feel electricity shoot through my left hand. I can smell his cologne he smells so good, “I know I said I wouldn’t expect an explanation, but can I ask?”

“Ask what?”

He moves his hands around the back of my neck pulling the tie across, “I didn’t want to listen in on your conversation, but I couldn’t help it. Were you really on the streets because of your twin?”

“Yeah, for a little while. Someone found me and took me in for a few more months until we learned my Aunt lived close by.”

He is looping the tie. “That must have been hard, is that why you and Joe’s relationship so complicated like you said?”

I nod, “Part of it, he acts as if I should just up and forgive him.”

“You have a right to be angry, but you shouldn’t hate him maybe he was stupid and didn’t fully understand the ramifications of what he did to you.” He tells me finishing the bow.

“I don’t want him to think that I forgot about it though.”

Gavin steps back, “Josh, you don’t have to forget it. I don’t want to play down that you did live on the streets but to me, it seems that it made you who you are. I am not saying act like it’s all good but maybe one day you would be willing to work on the relationship.”

He takes a few more steps and hands me my coat. I think about what he says, am I being too harsh on Joe? Maybe if Gavin knew what he did to kick me out he would feel different, but Gavin also is very pure hearted.

“I know it’s not my place but even when Xander acts a fool and says some really hurtful stuff he’s my little brother and not having him be a part of my life wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t mean to tell you what you should do with your life. I don’t know why you were kicked out or the part he played in it. You could be justified in it, but maybe your aunt is right having a conversation could clear up a lot. Maybe take some of the weight of the world off your shoulders you seem to carry with you.”

I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. “Thank you. For the tie and well the talk. How is it that you are so caring? I have heard a lot of social media boys are dicks.”

He laughs, “I prefer model since that’s what I do, I mean post on social media. I am not like those influencers I genuinely just care about people. Josh, I know we just met but I enjoy spending time with you. I know it sounds stupid but you’re down to earth. I would like to hang out with you once we get back home. No obligations or anything and I know we just met and you haven’t gotten the full effect of being around me so maybe after tonight and tomorrow I guess we will see.”

I roll my eyes, “dude I already told you I don’t care that you’re famous.”

Jane comes bursting in the room, “Let's go assholes.”

“You are just such a delight.” Gavin says.

I am shocked to see Jane in a dress. “I didn’t expect you to wear a dress.”

She rolls her eyes and flips me off, “Are you two sure yall aren’t related?”

“Can you get a picture of us?” Gavin asks tossing her his phone, “Do you mind?” He says to me.

“No, it’s cool.”

Jane gets the phone ready, and Gavin puts his arm around my shoulders. I smile when she counts down from three. I hate my smile, I think it’s awkward. “Looks good.” She says tossing his phone back to him.

“Whoa, easy Jane remember this is how we broke my other one!” Gavin says catching his phone.

“Not my fault you can’t catch.”

“Whatever!” Gavin shoots back at her.

Jane’s phone starts going off as well as Gavin’s. Jane takes off into the bathroom and Gavin answers. “Hey, Dad. What? When? Okay, okay…..Yeah. Ok see you soon.” He says all serious.

Jane comes out of the bathroom the humor gone from her face, “We have five minutes and we have to be out.” She says to Gavin.

I am looking cluelessly to both of them, “Gavin, what’s going on?”

He is already moving toward his bag. “Xander is in the hospital. Leaving within the hour.” He says shortly.

I grab my joggers and charger and throw them in my bag, along with my laptop. I didn’t have much to pack considering we just got here earlier this afternoon. Gavin is furiously packing his stuff from the bathroom. I can see him getting frustrated with the pair of jeans he had on when they won't go into the bag. I walk over to him and take the jeans from him placing them in the bag.

He lets out a heavy sigh, I put a hand on his shoulder. “Gavin, you have to calm down. Getting worked up over this isn’t going to help anything.”

“I’m sorry.” He says with red-rimmed eyes, it looks like he is about to cry.

“It’s family. I know how close you all are. Don’t be sorry.”

He zips up his bag and sets in on the floor, “I know you wanted to see New York. I promise I will make this up to you.”

I laugh, “Don’t worry about me. I am sure it won't be Clint’s last time out here.”

Jane comes strolling in the door. “You two ready? We need to get to the car, someone is coming to collect the bags here in a moment. I got word that there are fans and paparazzi outside the hotel as well.”

“Fuck!” Gavin yells.

Gavin reaches into his bag and pulls out two pairs of sunglasses and thrusts one to me. “Put them on, the flashes from the cameras are harsh.”

We follow Jane into the hall to the elevator, we get in and she presses ground floor. “Listen, I don’t have another bodyguard here. They were on their way over when we got the call. I don’t know who let slip that Gavin was here, but it’s out now. When we leave the lobby, Gavin holds on to my arm, and Josh you need to hold onto Gavin’s and do not let go. If you let go I won’t be able to come back for you Gavin is my main priority I know it’s fucked up but that is my job. I can’t promise the bodyguards in the car will be able to get to you, you will have to hold on tight fans will try to pry in-between you. Hopefully, the hotel security can help a bit.” She tells me no humor found in her voice.

I feel apprehension start to set in my body. I look over to Gavin who is looking straight ahead, he has the unreadable expression on his face he looks pissed. I put the sunglasses on that he gave me as the elevator doors open. The manager from the hotel is there to meet us.

“Miss Jane, I am deeply sorry! I have no idea how word got out, I have few guards to help. I am afraid it may not be enough.” He says gesturing to the doors

I feel as if my heart is about to slam out of my chest. There must be almost 400 hundred screaming fans outside. “Fuck.” Gavin says.

“Is there not a back way out of here?” Jane snaps.

“No, the only way in or out is the front door.” The manager tells us looking ashamed.

“Who the hell booked this hotel!” Jane says frustrated.

“Dad and I, we thought it would be more lowkey.” Gavin says.

Jane shakes her head, “I am booking them from now on. Remember what I said Joshua.”

I nod, and we start for the door. I can hear the screaming intensify once Gavin is in sight, he grabs onto Jane. Gavin extends his hand to me, and I take it as Jane heads out the door. There are a few security guards holding the barricade that was put up, but up ahead there are so many people with massive cameras and the flashes are going off.

I can’t even hear myself think at this point there are so many people yelling. I think I am going to puke so I start taking deep breaths, ;looking over at a girl as she yells at me, “who are you!”

“Don’t answer,” Gavin shouts at me. I nod and keep following him and Jane turns to us and gives us a look.

We take two steps and I feel like we are being swallowed whole, there are fans crying as they touch Gavin. They shove cell phones into his face, I feel someone grab my free hand and I yank it away. I don’t know how Gavin is keeping his cool, I feel like I can’t breathe. I keep getting pulled on, and i know my jacket has been ripped multiple times.

“Let go!” I shout.

I see Jane shoving people back, and I slap a hand that was reaching for Gavin’s hair. That’s when someone is shoved, and they fall in-between Gavin and I. My hand is yanked free from Gavin’s and I trip over the fallen fan I feel my head hit the concrete and everything blurs.

I can barely make out the image of Gavin trying to stop, but Jane grabs him shoving him forward now. He tries to protest but she pushes him forward and ducks him into the SUV I am trying to scramble to my feet, but I keep getting shoved, by the onslaught of fans.

I feel two thick arms lift me up from my underarms, I feel someone put a hand on my head forcing me to duck and I am being shoved forward. I know it’s someone massive as they are pressed up against the back of me. I hear the guy shout his deep voice booming. He shoves me into the SUV and climbs in after me.

My head is throbbing. I move my hand up to my face and I see blood, Gavin looks over and looks concerned. “Josh, your bleeding.”

I look at Gavin, and everything starts to get a bit blurry. I guess I should have told them, that I am not good with blood at all. Gavin is snapping his fingers in front of my face when everything goes black.

**************

I wake up, and my head is still throbbing. I go to touch the same spot as earlier but there is a big band-aid on it. I try sitting until a massive hand lands on my chest. “Stay down kid.” That same deep voice I heard before.

I glare at the person the voice belongs to, he has long black hair that is shaved on the sides, with bright green eyes. “Who the fuck are you?”

He grins, “I’m the fucker that saved you.” He takes out a light and shines it in my eyes. “Looks like you are okay. Just a nasty cut on the side of your head.” He says and gets up walking over to the seat directly across from me. I take in his massive frame, he has to be at least 6’3 and he’s slim and muscled he long black hair is brushed to the side and his Icey blue eyes.

I finally sit up and realize we are in a massive private jet. I spot Gavin, and he looks up and his eyes light up. He leaves his seat to crouch in front of me. “Josh, hey man how do you feel?”

“What the fuck happened?” I ask.

He looks a little grim, “my life.”

I hear a grunt from the seat across from me, “No cub, it was just a poor ass excuse of a hotel. You should have never been in that particular hotel without multiple ways to get out, and one with better fucking security.”

“If you have a problem with it why don’t you address me directly Nicolas!” Jane snaps.

“Why the hell do you think I am back.”

“Enough!” Clint shouts from his chair. “I booked the fucking hotel if you two want to pass the damn blame around then blame me.”

Neither of them challenges Clint at all, I look back at Gavin who looks exhausted. I give him a concerned look, “Are you okay?” He asks.

I nod, “Just embarrassed. I tend to faint at the site of blood.”

I hear a snicker of laughter and look over at the giant. “ignore Nicolas.” Gavin says.

“Ignoring me get’s you in some terrible situations.” Nicolas quips.

Jane lets out a growl, “why is he back Clint?”

Clint rubs his forehead, “I offered him to be head of security. Truth is we are getting more clients and I am hiring more guards and I need someone to oversee them.”

Jane scowls, “when were you going to tell the rest of us?”

“When this weekend was over.”

Jane lets out a huff, “Is this why he was in New York?”

Clint nods, “I wanted him to start this weekend.”

Jane goes to say something else, but she just shakes her head and returns to her seat, “look we didn’t anticipate anyone giving away the location, it’s not happened in a very long time.”

“Well it happened and I had to step in, you should be happy I was there or who knows what would have happened to Josh. I trained you better than to be unprepared especially in a massive city in New York Janie.” Nicolas says.

“So, it’s my fault.” I chime in.

“Yes.” Nicolas says.

“No!” Clint objects.

I just sit back in the massive chair, looking between Clint and Nicolas. “I’m sorry for anything that I did cause this.” I say.

“Josh, you didn’t do anything wrong we just weren’t prepared correctly something that never happens.” Gavin says.

I look over to Nicolas who has a smug expression on his face, I try to ignore him and go to pull out my phone, and I notice the whole screen is shattered. “Awesome.” I comment.

Gavin takes my phone, “I am so sorry Josh.”

“Don’t worry about it I will get another one.” I tell him taking my phone back, fuck this has not gone well at all. I honestly want to cry at how frustrated I am. “How much longer until we land?” I ask looking out the window.

“In about 30 minutes,” Clint says.

“We are going to go up to the hospital, then we can go grab you a new phone.” Gavin says still sitting on the floor next to me.

“Actually, if it’s not trouble can someone just take me home? I still have a major headache and I just want to lay down.” Gavin’s expression changes to sadness, he doesn’t even try to hide it.

“I will take you home.” Nicolas says.

“No, Jane can take him home for me.” Gavin says getting up off the floor.

To my surprise, Nicolas doesn’t say anything, and Jane just nods her head. I don’t even look at Clint. I am sure he knows this has turned out to be a disaster. No one talks for the rest of the flight, but you could cut the tension in the plane with a knife.

I pull my legs underneath me and try not to look over at Gavin, who looks like he is pissed off. I start to feel guilty because I know I am the reason he is pissed. I know he must think that I backed out of me being able to handle all the mess that comes with his life as a friend, but I just need some time I wasn’t expecting this right off the bat. I mean now I need to come up with a story to my family as to why I have a gash on my head and scrapes and getting a new phone. Fuck it, I will just head to Taylors and stay in my room. I am sure he won’t mind, plus I can just get back to work.

We finally come to a landing, and Clint never looks up from his phone as we get off the plane. Gavin comes up to me, “I’m sorry that it got pretty insane. I told you it’s not always smooth with my life. I guess I will see you around.” He doesn’t even make eye contact as he says this to me.

“Gavin, I get it, man. It was a bit crazy I just wasn’t expecting it so soon, it doesn’t change anything.”

He nods his head as if he really doesn’t believe me. “Maybe….if you want to hang out one day, can I text you?”

I nod, “yeah let me get a new phone.”

Clint finally walks over to us, “Joshua, I am so sorry for what a disaster this came out to be. I will wire money over to pay for the phone, take the week off and I will call and see how you are feeling.” Clint says.

I stop myself from rolling my eyes, he is still keeping up this game. “Yes, sir. I hope Xander is ok.”

We say our goodbyes and I follow Jane to a black SUV. I get in the passenger seat with her. “Josh, it’s not your fault Nico is just an asshole.”

“You don’t like him?” I ask.

I do, he was my mentor after was hired, but he left. I just don’t like his attitude at times, where am I taking you.

“To Taylor's.” I say knowing that Jane has the address memorized by now.