Jimbo - 8. What Just Happened?

We finished our meal and I pulled out my wallet to pay. Ayal interrupted and said that he was paying. I tried to override him until he said the law firm provided reimbursement when staff took clients out for a meal. I realized that the firm paid but ultimately the client was billed. But who was the client?

As we rode back to get the truck, Ayal said that he would be thirty minutes behind to pick us up and then take us to the Jenner’s house in Suffolk. “It is important that the two of you stick together. Don’t let them separate you, Yonatan. Things may get out of hand but it is important that you remain calm. Always remain calm even when things seem their worst. You have the emotional intelligence to do that, right Matan?”

Matan quietly said yes.

We got out of Ayal’s car and I unlocked the truck. Ayal reached out and gave me a small device. “This is if you are in physical danger. Flip open the top and push the button. Someone will be there in no more than ten seconds.” I looked at him like he was crazy. “Yes, Yonatan, ten seconds maximum. Keep it in your hand when you go into the house. Make sure it is readily available. Once help arrives, you and Matan need to do exactly as you are told. Do you understand?” I nodded my head thinking he was a crazy man. Everything would be alright.

After crossing through the Elizabeth River tunnel, Mason slid next to me. His left hand was on my thigh.

“I need to know what happened. Are you really moving in with me? Are we living together? What about my parents? I know that there is something going on and I have a right to know.”

I proceeded to give an edited version of what Mr. Cohen and I had discussed. Yes, we were moving to Suffolk tonight. I would be going to William and Mary and we would live in his parent’s home. He would need to keep his grades up in school so that he could get into Harvard. Mason gave a snort when I said that. We both laughed. I was thinking that I had the same reaction just a short while ago.

“I think the most important thing is that we talk with your parents. I will ask Mr. Cohen tomorrow how to manage that. They need to know that we are together and we need to hear from them that they are safe.”

“How long will this go on?”

“Mason, we made a commitment to each other. I took that to be a life long commitment. You are my partner. I have just told Mr. Cohen that we are bound together for life. Please tell me that I did not misunderstand.”

Mason leaned in and kissed me. I could sense him smiling. “It is settled. There is no more to discuss tonight because we have the rest of our lives.”

Route 58 west of Suffolk was known as deer kill alley. There were always deer carcasses along the side of the road where unfortunate drivers were ambushed by deer crossing the highway. I was careful so that I did not injure or kill the animal that we knew was protecting us. I also did not want to explain to my father how I had wrecked one of the farm trucks. We stopped at Red’s to fill the truck with gas. Red was behind the register and smirked at me when I walked in. “Some dude in a black suit came in just a few minutes ago and paid for the gas. I am supposed to give you the change. Fill ‘er up and I will let you know how much money you get back.” When I went in for the change, Red said that he didn’t keep much cash on hand at night in case of a robbery so I was taking all of his available money. He counted back to me the change from a $100. I swallowed hard. This was a different world than the way I had been reared.

We pulled up at the farm house and two bucks were standing beside the garden shed. Before we had seen a buck and a doe, now it was two bucks. We got out of the truck to venture into the unknown. All of the downstairs lights were on except for the porch. I was trembling not knowing what to say. I hesitated and Mason put his hand in mine. “We will do this together, Yonatan. We are here in our new life. You are Yonatan and I am Matan. We need to tell your old life good-bye.” I could only nod.

We walked into the living room and my father was sitting in his recliner and my mother was in her rocking chair. She was knitting. My father had a double barrel shotgun by his side. Two barrels, two people. I turned to Matan and told him to go pack.

“I filled the truck with gas the way you told me.”

My father just stared at me. My mother kept knitting.

“Thank you, sir, for letting me use the truck.”

My father just stared at me. My mother kept knitting.

“There is something I need to tell you. Mason and I are moving to his parent’s house tonight. His parents are detained in Paris. They have appointed me as Mason’s guardian and I need to help him prepare for school. I am sorry that I am not giving you more notice, but I will not be able to help on the farm anymore before I go to school.”

My father stood with the shotgun in his hands.

“Get out of my house. Don’t think about taking anything with you. I paid for everything so it is mine. Now, get out now before I shoot that boyfriend of yours. I will kill you also. He reached in his pocket and pulled out additional shotgun shells. Do you hear me boy? Get out of my house and take that sodomite with you. NOW!!” He was shouting and my mother was knitting while tears ran down her cheeks.

I heard Mason behind me. He had his luggage. “Let’s go, Yonatan.”

My father’s face turned beet red.

“What did you call him?”

“I called my partner by his name: Yonatan.”

I saw my father raise his arm and I was looking down the barrel of the shotgun. I swallowed hard and flipped the cover to the alarm and pushed the button. Those were the longest ten seconds of my life.

“Put down the gun, Mr. Ward.”

My father was startled by the voice. He turned and looked at a man dressed in black. The man had a gun pointed at my father. His voice was calm and even. “Slowly lower the gun. If you try to harm either of them, I will shoot you but not kill you. I will testify at your trial and you will spend the rest of your life in prison. Now lower the gun.”

I saw the barrel of the gun slowly lower until it was pointed at the floor. The gunman took the shotgun, opened the chamber and removed the shells.

“Yonatan, help Matan with the luggage.” I looked out the front window and saw a car pulling into the drive. We quickly grabbed the luggage and headed to the front door. I turned and looked at the house where I had lived for 18 years. My parents looked defeated. I doubted I would ever see the house or them again.

Ayal got out of the car. He was dressed in a black jumpsuit from head to toe. He had a weapon ready in case he was needed to join the fight. The trunk opened and we stored the luggage and then got into the back seat. I punched Matan’s arm and pointed to the garden shed. The two bucks were still standing there. Sentinels watching us. Ayal got behind the wheel, the gunman jumped into the front passenger seat. As we turned to leave, the deer turned and bolted into the nearest field. A spray of gravel hit the trucks as Ayal spun out of the drive.

I was in shock. I couldn’t speak. What had just happened? The past 36 hours were more than a person should have to deal with. Mason kept rubbing my hand and making conciliatory noises. I was stupefied. Everything in my life had been changed for me and to me. I was a pawn in someone’s game. I turned to Mason and tried to explain what was going on in my head but no sounds would come out of my mouth. The more I tried to talk the worse it got. My emotions were ricocheting all over the car. Finally, a scream bubbled up from my throat. Ayal, looked at me in the rearview mirror. He pulled the car over and the gunman got in the backseat with me and had Mason sit up front. I felt the sting of the needle but nothing more. I was out. I do not remember the rest of the ride, arriving at the Jenner’s home, unpacking the car or being undressed and put to bed.

When I awoke the next day, Mason was sitting beside the bed. I was startled. I looked at him and tried to talk but nothing would come out of my mouth. The ceiling: I needed to focus on the ceiling to keep the world from turning and to keep from throwing up. I felt another needle prick. I was down for the count.

I knew I was dreaming but it was terrifying none the less. My father had tied Mason to a tree in the yard. My mother had knitted a hood that she placed on Mason’s head. I yelled and yelled for this to stop. I was thrashing around trying to break free from the tree where I was tied. In my dream I knew my mother had knitted two hoods. Just as my father was pulling the trigger, a deer bolted through the yard and slammed into my father. The bullet went wide. My father was not able to get up. The shotgun had flown from his hands and was lying in the yard. My mother picked it up and looked at us. I could see determination in her eyes. I awoke from my nightmare. Mason was wiping down my brow with cool water.

The next time I woke Mason was sitting by my side. He looked horrible as if he had not slept for days. He gave me a tentative smile.

“Water,” I barely squeaked out. I sipped while Mason held the glass. I looked in his eyes. I could not fathom while Mason looked so distressed and exhausted.

“Tell them no more drugs. No more needles.”

“Of course. It was done for your own good. You were unsettled and needed to rest.”

I wondered if I looked as bad as Mason. I smelled food and said that I was hungry. I needed to pee. As I tried to get up from the bed, I realized how feeble I was.

“How long have I been out?”

“Long enough for you to heal.”

“Mason, that is not an answer.”

“Yes, my love, it is THE answer. Now let me get help so you can get up and have dinner.”

An unknown young man walked into the bedroom. He wore scrubs. He helped me from the bed into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and was startled. I was a pale substitute of myself. Bags were under my eyes. My hair was unkempt. My beard, such as it was, had sprouted all over my face. I looked like I was coming off of a weekend drunk. The nurse helped me with my ablutions.

“What is your name?”

“Zeke.”

“What is today?”

“The Sabbath.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Five days.”

It took all of Zeke’s assistance to get me to the dining room. My legs were like jelly. Mason gave me a big smile and said it was nice to have me back. There was a place setting at the head of the table and I sat. I noticed that his hair was unkempt, he had big bags under his eyes, his usually pale skin had lost all of the color acquired at camp and there was a fine tremor in his hands. I also was caught by the odor of unwashed bodies. His and mine.

“Did you shower over the past few days?”

“I couldn’t leave your side.”

I smiled, “how did you use the facilities?” I thought I had him.

“I used some kind of toilet thing and then Zeke would come and empty it.”

“We both need showers. Can you help me shower after dinner?”

Just then the telephone rang in some part of the house. Mason jumped up from the table and went to answer it. He came back and said that I was needed on the telephone. I gave him a skeptical look as very few people knew where I was and how to get in touch with me. Mason and Zeke helped me up from the table and we walked through the house. It was my first time seeing it. We went into a home office and Mason had me sit. He talked into the telephone for a minute and then handed it to me.

“Jimbo, we are so happy that you are better. This is Judy Jenner. Herbert is here with me. We have been so very worried.”

All I could say was, “Thank you. How did you know?”

There was a laugh on the phone. “Ahhh, you are learning about our lives. Albert Cohen called us from New York before he joined us in Paris. However, that is not important. I want to know how you are feeling?’

We talked for a few minutes before she told me that one of her colleagues would be by the next day to assess me. I started to object.

“Do not object, Yonatan. This is my field of work. When you and Mason come to Paris in October, we need to tell you more about us. Now, Dr. Schimmel will come tomorrow. Be honest with him, Yonatan. You will only get better if you are honest about what you are feeling.”

“Are we really coming to Paris in October? I don’t have a passport.”

I heard a chuckle. “Albert is already on top of that. He said you should have it this week. He said you will actually have two: American and Israeli passports. That man can make anything happen.”

Mr. Jenner came on the telephone line and wished me well. He thanked me for everything I was doing for Mason and them.

“When you visit in October we will have many things to discuss. There won’t be much time for sight-seeing I am afraid.”

Jokingly, I said, “Well, I heard Paris in April is the time to be there.”

“Actually, any time is wonderful in Paris…..except when the Germans appear.”

How could I respond to that? I didn’t.

“I look forward to Mason and I flying over. I hope that you are well.”

“We are safe. That is what is important. We are safe.” I then heard him sigh.

“Goodbye then. Mason, come tell your parents goodbye.”

After Mason finished he helped me back to the table. Soup, salad and bread had been placed on the table for us. When we finished eating, Mason said that I was allowed to stay up for a short time but we should start by taking a shower. We went into the bathroom attached to the bedroom where I had slept. I noticed that the sheets had been changed and the bed was turned down. The room smelled of the disinfectant that had been sprayed.

I was in my underwear and dropped my briefs to the floor. I realized that I had lost weight over the past several days. Mason had also lost weight on his too thin frame. Luckily, it was a walk-in shower. It was somewhat tight but we managed to wash each other and I spent a lot of time kissing him. He washed my hair and then his. When I stepped from the shower I realized that I was very weak. Mason grabbed my arm and sat me on a bench in the bathroom. He then dried me, then himself and we put on clean underwear.

“Let’s prop you up in bed. I don’t want you to do too much tonight.” Mason then told me about my hysteria in the car and trying to open the door while riding back to Suffolk. Luckily, Ayal had locked all of the doors so I could not get out. He had also locked the windows.

“You scared me. You were screaming and saying you wanted to die; for someone to please let you die.”

I didn’t remember any of it.

“My mother called the next morning. Ayal had spent the night at the house to make sure we were safe. Mother told me that you had experienced too much trauma too soon. She said some bad things about Mr. Cohen but then said he did what he had to do. I didn’t know what to do. Zeke showed up that afternoon and has stayed here since then. The man in black, yes that is what he wants us to call him, has been here also. I have not left your side since that conversation with my mother. She called every day and one of the others would give her an update.”

I just looked at Mason as if this were all a dream. It made no sense.

“You are supposed to start school on Tuesday. Do you think you can do it? I also was to start school on Tuesday. If you aren’t up to going to school I will stay home.” Mason smiled, “you will have to write me a note to excuse me from class.” I smiled and said he would never get to Harvard if he took off too many days.

On the bedside table was my Order of the Arrow headband and Vigil sash.

“How did you get those?”

“I heard your father and went into your bedroom and took your Order of the Arrow ceremonials. I took nothing else. Those are yours. I packed them in my suitcase.”

I was exhausted and looked at Mason. He was happy but could barely keep his eyes open. I kissed him good night and then fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning I awoke with the sun. It was early and Mason was still sleeping. I got out of bed and decided to explore the house. I knew the bedroom, the dining room and office but nothing else. I didn’t bother to put on any more clothes as I wandered from room to room. I surmised that I had been in the guest bedroom all week. I heard a voice coming from the study. The man in black was on the telephone. He was speaking in a foreign language. I assumed it was Hebrew. When he saw me he immediately ended the call and asked how I felt. I assured him that I was fine. He told me that I should stay inside the house until Dr. Schimmel arrived and cleared me to go out.

I went into the kitchen and Zeke was making coffee. He and Ayal were speaking in what I assumed to be Hebrew. They immediately switched to English when I walked in. Zeke asked if I wanted coffee. When I took my first sip I asked if they were speaking Hebrew. Ayal confirmed that was correct and that soon I would be learning the language. I wondered how much of my future life they knew. Mason came wandering in, leaned over and gave me a kiss on the mouth, and then grinned at Ayal and Zeke. He enjoyed thinking he had shocked them. Zeke leaned over and then kissed Ayal.

“It is nice to be in a house of gay men.” Ayal had us laughing by his statement.

“What about the man in black; is his gay also?” Mason was being inquisitive.

“Why don’t you ask me?” The man in black walked into the kitchen. “If you want to know anything about me then ask me, not others.”

“Errr, are you gay also?”

“Of course, Matan, we were assigned to protect you and your parents said it was important that we all be gay.”

“Then why can’t we know your name?”

“It is for your own protection. If you don’t know it, no one can force it from you. If you need to have a name just call me Black.”

“Do you have a partner also?”

“Matan, you and Yonatan are to know nothing of my personal life. I am here on a job. I am here to make sure you are safe. I can’t get personal with people I am to protect.”

We all looked at each other. The tension was thick.

“OK, this southern boy is ready to fix breakfast for everyone. What do you want?” That broke the ice and I was rummaging through the refrigerator to find food to cook. There were some things in the fridge that were completely foreign to me. The labels were in Hebrew. I don’t think I wanted to know. I fried some apples, scrambled eggs and toasted bread. Zeke opened a couple of jars of things and he, Ayal and Black enjoyed them. Mason and I just watched but did not indulge.

Ayal gathered the dishes for washing. He said we would gather in the living room in 10 minutes to talk. He smiled and asked that Mason and I put on some more clothes. “You are distracting being mostly naked. I have my Zeke but a distraction is a distraction.”

“Come on ‘Distraction’ (I grinned at Mason), let’s get dressed. Wait, what am I going to wear? I wasn’t allowed to take anything with me.” My voice broke as I said that. My brain immediately went fuzzy and I was struggling not to sink into that deep dark place where I had spent several days. I felt Mason grab and hug me.

“You are okay, Jimbo. You are safe. Stay with me, stay with me.”

My eyes blinked and I realized that I was sitting in the Jenner’s kitchen. I felt disconnected but realized that we had been talking about clothes.

“What did I say I was going to wear?”

Ayal spoke up. “You will find some clothes in the closet. I took the sizes from the clothes you wore on Tuesday when you came to meet with Mr. Cohen and I bought some things for you. The bare minimum. You will want to go shopping to purchase some school clothes. A credit card is in your wallet.”

I dressed in a pair of seersucker shorts and Izod shirt. There was a new pair of deck shoes in the closet.

When we gathered, Ayal took the lead and explained that he and Zeke would be leaving later that day unless we felt they were needed for another week. “We live in Norfolk and are close by if you need us for anything. Black will stay for two more weeks to ensure there are no problems with your father. He can stay longer if needed. Black will accompany you to Paris. Actually, there will be a couple of more guys with him. They will all be wearing black so you will probably want to come up other names for them.” We all chuckled; even Black.

“Yonatan, the doctor is due here shortly and will assess you. Once he clears you then we will pack and give you space. He is a colleague of Dr. Jenner’s.” I had a confused look on my face.

“Who is Dr. Jenner?”

“My mother.”

I realized that I had a lot to learn about Mason and his family. Something didn’t add up and I knew that I was a pawn in someone else’s game.

“There is much that you and Mason will need to discuss before Paris. I believe that Mr. Cohen has set up calls for each Sunday afternoon. In fact, he should be calling you at 3 pm today.” Ayal pulled out a notebook and confirmed that he had his facts correct.

When Dr. Schimmel arrived, he asked that we go into the office. He asked Zeke to accompany us. Dr. Schimmel asked Zeke questions and in a neutral clinical voice I heard Zeke talk about my week. He had a note book with information he had maintained. I was surprised at what he had to say. Apparently, I had violent dreams all week where I would scream and then throw myself off the bed. I would then scream and cry for Mason and would not be comforted until he quietly spoke to me. That explained why he never left the room.

Dr. Schimmel asked for me to undress so that he could check my bruises. Why had I not noticed them. Dr. Schimmel said that he was concerned leaving me alone with just Mason. Zeke said that Black would be here for two more weeks. The doctor gave specific instructions that if I continued to have these nightmares then Zeke was to return until they ceased.

“Mr. Ward, I want to see you in my office this Friday. I have a very good therapist who will see you also. You will probably be in therapy for only a short time; I am talking months instead of years. Dr. Jenner has given me a good synopsis of what has happened to you. There is a lot of research being conducted on reaction to trauma such as you experienced. I find it interesting that when Mr. Fish told you that Mason was coming to camp that you fainted and he had to use smelling salts to bring you around. That was viewed by all as a happy event yet you had a reaction and passed out. It took about 15 minutes after you left your parent’s home before you had a reaction this time. Your reaction was much more severe and it has taken you five days to return to baseline. That is, if you have actually returned to base line. We can work on your resilience to adverse events but you are probably hard wired to have these types of reactions. It takes your brain a long time to return to base line after trauma. We would like to perform tests on you and perhaps put you in a study we are conducting, if you agree. We are working with the military researching PTSD with troops that have been in battle. Some soldiers develop PTSD and others don’t; even those serving side by side. We want to know why. I am not saying that you have PTSD but your reaction this week would suggest something along that line. I am thinking that you have a long history of being subjected to verbal and perhaps physical violence. You may not remember it as such but the cumulative effect cannot be ignored.”

I was stunned by what he had to say. I tried to remember back to my childhood and whether I had suffered abuse. Other than my dad’s behaviors I couldn’t think of any. I would think on that later because I assumed the therapist might want to know.

“A couple of questions, Dr. Schimmel, if I may? He nodded.

“Can I start school on Tuesday? Can I go out and about if Mason is with me?”

“Yes, to both of those. The more you return to normal activities the better it is for your brain. Your life has been turned upside down. You need to normalize your life here. Regular routine is important. Do not diminish the severity of what has happened to you, Mr. Ward. Don’t push yourself too far. If you feel any kind of a panic attack you should stop doing whatever is causing the discomfort. Immediately. Make sure that you have my telephone number. In fact, my office will make a medical bracelet for you with instructions to contact my clinic immediately if EMS is called. I am available at any time to family members of my colleagues. You are fortunate to be part of the Jenner family.”

I was exhausted. The pace had not slowed.