Storms - 38. Julie

Amy and I lay face to face on my bed. She smiled and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

Then she kissed me.

It was two days before Christmas Eve. Amy had come over to watch a movie, but we’d ended up hanging out in my room instead, in part because Luke was being a brat and, in part, because we’d rather be doing this than watching a film. This being making out.

I felt like I was getting pretty good at it, the kissing. I hadn’t exactly had much practice before, but it was fairly intuitive once I got into it. Feeling bold, I kissed her cheek and then her neck, and she leaned her head back to give me access.

‘That’s nice,’ she murmured, and I smiled against her skin. I pushed her over on her back and kissed her lips again. ‘You’re very eager tonight,’ she said.

I blushed, not sure what to say. Instead, I returned my lips to her neck and she arched her back. Slowly, I let my hand wander down from her shoulder to the front of her top. ‘Is this okay?’ My voice was barely above a whisper.

She nodded. ‘Yeah.’

Her breast was soft and supple. I’d never touched anyone else’s before. Amy’s were a lot bigger than mine. I squeezed it through the fabric of her top, kissing her neck again, and Amy made a small sound in response.

Then she reversed our positions and pushed me down on my back instead. With a mischievous grin, she proceeded to do exactly what I’d been doing, kissing my neck and running her hand up and down my chest. Her fingers tickled my ribs and I giggled. ‘That tickles!’

‘Oh, really?’ She smirked down at me and began tickling me on purpose.

‘No! Stop it!’ I laughed helplessly as she tickled me, squirming beneath her. I didn’t really want her to stop, though. Having her hands on me was nice, no matter what she was doing. I filed that thought away.

There came a sharp knock on my bedroom door and a second later it opened. ‘What are you two doing?’ I was suddenly very glad that Amy was tickling me instead of kissing me just then. At least Mum had knocked. She looked from me to Amy with an amused smile.

‘Sorry.’ Amy sat up, grinning sheepishly.

I sat up as well, still laughing. ‘I was teasing Amy,’ I said. ‘She got her revenge.’ It wasn’t entirely a lie.

‘Well, I think it may be time you go home, Amy. It’s getting late.’

Frowning, I looked at my phone. ‘It’s only nine. It’s not even a school night.’

‘No,’ said Mum patiently, ‘but we have a lot to do tomorrow and I want you up bright and early.’

I sighed. I knew there was no arguing with her, so I nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘I’ll give you girls a few minutes,’ she said and left the room, thankfully closing the door again behind her.

Amy gave me a sidelong glance. ‘So, that was kind of close . . .’

‘A bit,’ I admitted. All the same, I leaned close and kissed her again. Just a quick one. ‘Sorry. Wish you could stay longer.’

‘Yeah, me too.’ She smiled sadly. ‘But I would probably have had to go soon anyway. We’re leaving early tomorrow for Wolves.’

‘How long will you be gone?’ I asked. ‘Will I see you before New Years?’

She made a face. ‘Probably not. We get back on the twenty-eighth, but we’ve got more family stuff. And New Year’s Eve Trev is having one of his epic parties again, so I’ll be going to that.’ She reached out and squeezed my hand. ‘Don’t suppose you’ll be able to convince your mum to let you come?’

I laughed. ‘No chance in hell she’d ever let me do that. Wish I could, though.’

‘Yeah, me too.’ Amy stood up. ‘Well, I guess I’ll see you at school then.’ She went over to her bag and rummaged through it. Then she turned to me and held out a small present wrapped in blue wrapping paper with silver stars on it. ‘Merry Christmas, Jules.’

Grinning, I reached into the drawer in my bedside table and got out her gift, a book wrapped in red paper with little Father Christmases on it. It was my favourite book. I didn’t know if we had the same taste at all, but it could be exchanged at any Waterstone’s if she didn’t like it. ‘Merry Christmas, Amy,’ I said, and we exchanged gifts. Then I stood and gave her another kiss. Feeling bold, I said, ‘I’ll miss you.’

Amy smiled. ‘Me too.’

* * *

I wandered out into the kitchen where Mum was baking her seventh batch of gingerbread men. I snuck a finished one where it lay cooling on a tray and she pretended not to notice. ‘Amy seems like a good friend,’ she said.

‘Yeah.’ I nodded. ‘She is. She’s . . . she’s very kind to me.’

‘Well, good,’ said Mum, smiling. ‘You deserve for someone to be kind to you.’ She took a break from rolling out the dough and turned to me. ‘I know things haven’t been easy for you, since Leigh left. And I realise that I’ve made it . . . difficult for you to make new friends. I hope you know I just want to protect you.’

I smiled. ‘I know, Mum. I . . . I get it, I think.’

‘Good.’ She wiped a floury hand on her apron and reached out to stroke my cheek. ‘I love you, sweetheart. I just want you to be safe and happy.’ Just then, Luke wandered into the kitchen and Mum turned to him. ‘I thought I told you to get ready for bed, young man!’ she said sternly.

‘But I want a gingerbread man!’ Luke pouted.

‘You can have one tomorrow, you’re meant to be in bed. Go put on your pyjamas!’

‘How come Julie gets one and I don’t?’ He folded his arms over his chest.

‘Because Julie hasn’t brushed her teeth,’ said Mum.

‘I haven’t either,’ said Luke, then seemed to realise his mistake. I turned away, trying not to laugh.

‘Oh, haven’t you? And didn’t I tell you to do it ten minutes ago?’ Mum’s voice was soft but firm. When she spoke like that, it brooked no argument. Luke sighed.

‘Fine . . .’ He shuffled out of the kitchen towards the bathroom, and I burst into silent laughter. Once Luke had shut the bathroom door behind him, Mum turned to me.

‘Don’t laugh at your brother!’ But the look on her face was only partly disapproving, and she couldn’t hide her amused smile. ‘Have another gingerbread man, Julie.’

I grinned. ‘Thanks, Mum.’

* * *

Christmas Day we were going to have dinner at Aunt Moira and Uncle Jon’s place, with both Uncle Jon’s parents and Mum and Aunt Moira’s parents. Big family Christmas dinner. Christmas Eve, however, Mum invited her sister and her family to have dinner at ours. Despite the fact that we’d be stuffing our faces with turkey the following day, Mum had prepared a roast.

Except for a few jabs at me, Jason seemed to be on his best behaviour. That is, until we were almost done eating and my mum was about to bring out the pudding, when he said, ‘So it turns out our PE teacher’s a faggot.’

Aunt Moira gave him a disapproving frown. ‘Jason!’

He shrugged. ‘It’s true, though. Alec saw this guy pick up Hartman from school the other day. In Mr. Griffiths’s car. Tall guy with dreads.’

‘That doesn’t prove anything,’ said Uncle Jon.

‘Then,’ Jason continued, ignoring his father, ‘Will said he saw that guy and Mr. Griffiths hugging in the carpark a couple of weeks ago. They’re clearly faggots.’

‘Jason,’ said Mum calmly, ‘I will not have that kind of language in my home.’

Jason ignored her, too. ‘Must be a good fit for Hartman; he’s a fucking faggot too, right? Must suck, going from a junkie mum to two guys who’s gonna rape you.’

I stood up before I even realised what I was doing. ‘Shut the fuck up, Jason!’

‘Julie!’ said Mum, an edge of anger to her voice now. ‘Sit back down.’

‘No!’ I glared at Jason across the table. ‘First of all, Dan’s mum isn’t a junkie. Second, who cares if Mr. Griffiths is gay? He and Lewis take really good care of Daniel, they’re lovely people!’

‘Hah!’ Jason’s expression was triumphant. ‘So I was right! They really are gay.’

‘Why do you care?’

‘Well, it’s disgusting, innit? Right, Dad?’

Uncle Jon looked deeply uncomfortable. ‘That’s not . . . No, Jason, it’s—’

But his son cut him off. ‘It’s gross. Queer people are gross.’

My hands balled into fists and I realised I was shouting. ‘Who cares if they’re queer? I’m queer!’

The table fell silent as everyone looked at me. I remained silent, staring down at the table and my half-finished Yorkshire pudding. Finally, Jason spoke. ‘You’re what?’

‘I’m . . . I’m bisexual. So . . .’

‘Then you’re disgusting, too.’

I looked up at him. ‘Fuck you.’

‘Julie!’ said Mum again.

‘What?’ I glared at her. ‘You’re taking his side? Piss off, Mum!’ Then I turned and marched to my room, slamming the door behind me. I could hear the muffled voices of Mum and Aunt Moira outside. Sitting down on my bed, I pulled my knees up to my chest. I wondered why I wasn’t crying. I felt like I should be.

A few minutes later, there came a knock at the door. ‘Go away!’ I said, but the door opened anyway and Luke appeared in the doorway. I could hear Mum and Aunt Moira still arguing. I sighed. ‘Luke, just . . . Piss off, okay?’

My brother pursed his lips. ‘Never heard you swear before.’

I stared at him for several seconds, then looked down and laughed softly. I met his eye. ‘Close the door.’

Luke stepped inside my room and shut the door behind him. Then he came over to my bed and sat down next to me. ‘What’s bisexual mean?’ he asked.

‘It means I like both boys and girls.’

‘As in, like, like?’

‘Yeah.’

Luke nodded. ‘Okay.’ He glanced sideways at me. ‘Is your PE teacher really gay?’

‘Yup. He’s married and everything.’

He frowned. ‘Why’s he married if he’s gay?’

‘He’s married to a man, dummy.’ I laughed again and put my arm around his shoulder, ruffling his red hair. ‘People can marry people of the same sex.’

‘I didn’t know that. I . . . don’t think I know any gay people.’

‘Oh, you definitely do. You just don’t know it.’

We sat like that for a while, silent, until the voices grew quiet and the front door closed. Then there was another knock on my door, and a second later Mum stepped inside. I braced myself for the tirade, but it didn’t come. Instead, Mum sat down on my other side and took my hand. ‘Are you all right, sweetheart?’

I looked up at her sharply. ‘I . . . what?’

She sighed. ‘It seems we have some things to talk about. Luke, go to your room, please.’

I shook my head. ‘He can stay.’

‘No, that’s okay,’ said Luke, standing up. ‘I don’t wanna be here when you talk about, like, feelings and stuff.’ He made a face and then he left, closing the door behind him. I looked at Mum.

‘I’m sorry I ruined dinner.’

‘You did nothing of the sort!’ said Mum firmly. ‘Your idiot cousin managed that just fine on his own. I swear, if Moira can’t get that boy to behave I will do it myself. What an arrogant, self-centred—’ She cut herself off.

‘Brat?’ I supplied. She very nearly laughed. Then she sobered. She ran her fingers through my hair.

‘So. Bisexual.’

‘Yeah.’ I looked down at my hands.

‘How long have you known?’

‘A few weeks.’

‘And . . . You and Amy?’

I sighed. I wasn’t about to tell my mother that I’d been making out with Amy in my room. ‘No. Maybe. Not really. But . . .’

‘But you like her.’ I nodded. ‘Does she know?’

‘No. It’s . . . it’s complicated.’

‘Maybe you should tell her.’

‘Yeah, but . . . it’s scary. What if she doesn’t like me back? What if she thinks it’s gross?’

Mum pursed her lips. ‘She’s friends with Daniel and Michael, isn’t she? That doesn’t sound like someone who would have a problem with that sort of thing.’

I frowned. ‘Are you saying you’d be okay with me having a girlfriend?’

She bobbed her head, looking thoughtful. ‘I’d be about as okay with you having a girlfriend as I would be with you having a boyfriend.’ She glanced at me. ‘By which I mean, you’re a bit young, but it’s not like I can stop you if you really like someone.’ Then she seemed to consider for a moment. ‘I may be a little bit more okay with you having a girlfriend.’

I raised an eyebrow. ‘Seriously?’

Mum shrugged again. ‘Well, no chance of unwanted pregnancies.’

If I had been drinking I would have done a spit-take. As it was, I just stared at her. ‘Who are you and what have you done with my mother?’

She chuckled. ‘I’ve been very hard on you for a long time,’ she said. ‘You’ll be fifteen in a month. Perhaps it’s time I give you a little more freedom. But I need you to promise me something.’

‘Okay. What?’

‘I need you to promise that you will talk to me. You tell me what happens in your life. If you and Amy get together I want to know. There will still be rules, and I need you to follow them. All right?’

I nodded. ‘All right. Deal.’

Mum leaned in and kissed my forehead. ‘I love you, sweetheart.’

‘I love you too.’ I hesitated. ‘I suppose asking if I can go to a New Year’s Eve party would be pushing it?’

She gave me a disapproving look. ‘Oh, definitely. You will be doing no such thing.’

‘Gotcha.’

* * *

I was sitting in my room on Boxing Day when my phone rang. My face split into a grin when I saw Amy’s name on my screen and I couldn’t answer quickly enough. ‘Hey!’ I said breathlessly.

‘Merry Christmas,’ said Amy. I could hear the smile in her voice. ‘Thanks for the book.’

I reached for the box lying on my desk. ‘Thanks for the earrings.’ I opened it to look at them again. Green amber, like the teardrop ones Amy had, only these were butterflies and slightly smaller. ‘They’re really pretty.’

‘I’m glad you like them. So, how’s your Christmas going?’

‘It’s been weird,’ I said. ‘I, er . . . accidentally outed myself as bi to my entire family on Christmas Eve.’

‘What, seriously?’

‘Yup. Jason was being a dick about Mr. Griffiths and his husband and it just kind of happened.’

‘Wow. I’m impressed.’

‘Yeah. Christmas Day was awkward. Mum’s not really speaking to Aunt Moira and outright ignoring Jason. Uncle Jon is trying to be all cheerful and normal, but he’s treading really carefully. The grandparents have no idea what’s going on. Jason tried to pick a fight with me again yesterday, but Aunt Moira sent him to his room, so that’s something. She didn’t let him get away with it.’

‘That’s something. It’s nowhere near as exciting here. My cousin Kieron is twenty and really chill. Got to meet his wife. She’s nice enough.’

‘Your cousin is twenty and married? How old is she?’

‘Twenty-one. He knocked her up so they got married. She’s due in February.’

I laughed. ‘What is this, the sixties?’

Amy laughed too. ‘I don’t even know. Anyway, no drama. Unless you count my siblings being annoying, which, you know, par for the course and all that.’ I heard some voices in the background and Amy sighed. ‘Like now. I’ve got to go.’

I tried not to sound too disappointed. ‘Okay. Guess I’ll see you back at school?’

‘Yeah! Can’t wait.’

‘Me neither. Say hi to your family, yeah?’

‘Of course.’

‘Merry Christmas.’

‘Merry Christmas, Jules.’

The way she said my name made my heart leap and as we hung up, I lay back on the bed, imagining Amy’s lips.

Hope you enjoyed it! Apparently, Christmas is coming out time for my characters. I welcome any and all thoughts you may have on this chapter in the comments!