Jump to content
    kbois
  • Author
  • 4,065 Words
  • 5,141 Views
  • 16 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

A Decision for Jarren - 4. Chapter 4

Nash wanted this chapter from his perspective.

Nash’s eyes flew open as soon as the annoying blare of his alarm went off. He grabbed his phone and fumbled a moment while trying to silence the damn thing. When the noise stopped he rubbed the grit from his eyes and stretched his long frame. He thought about the evening before, the evening he spent with Jarren.

Nash felt conflicted whenever he thought about the handsome blond. He was definitely attracted to him and he had caught Jarren checking him out on more than a few occasions. Now that Jarren knew he was gay, he was surprised that Jarren hadn’t taken the opportunity to come out to him as well. He was pretty sure that Jarren was gay too. Why the hell did he have to be interested in someone who was still in the closet?

Nash tossed the covers aside and padded into his bathroom. He turned on the shower to warm up and stood at the toilet waiting for his morning wood to go down enough so he could empty his bladder before it burst. Easier said than done, especially when he couldn’t get his gorgeous coworker out of his head. Damn, he didn’t need this. He swore to himself he couldn’t, no wait, make that wouldn’t, get involved with anyone again. His heart had been ripped apart and shredded in more ways than one and he didn’t think he could survive another heartbreak.

After he finally peed he shucked off his boxer briefs and stepped under the hot spray. The water felt really good, flowing across his skin, washing away the residual cum from his spank session the night before. His cock started to plump up again as he remembered who starred in his late night fantasy. He pushed the thought out of his mind and gave his now hard dick a flick on the head to refocus himself. He quickly washed up and rinsed the soap down the drain. He grabbed his towel and stepped out of the stall. Fifteen minutes later he was dressed and ready to go. He grabbed his keys and phone and slid his wallet into his back pocket before locking the door behind him.

Nash pulled into the drive thru at Dunkin Donuts and waited for the car in front of him to order. When his turn came, he asked for a large hazelnut coffee with a little cream and large black coffee. He added two maple bacon croissant sandwiches as well. He was glad that he had stored the memory of how Jarren liked his coffee from the one occasion when they had needed to stop one morning when Jarren had woken up late and wasn't able to stop on his way in.

Ten minutes later he pulled into the apartment complex he had left not even twelve hours prior. He sent Jarren a text to let him know he was here. He couldn’t help but smile to himself when he saw the blond strutting toward the truck. He schooled his expression as Jarren got closer. Jarren wasn’t interested and he had to respect that. It was probably for the best anyway.

“Hey,” Jarren said to him as he slid into the passenger seat.

“Hey yourself. I stopped for coffee. Hazelnut with just a little cream, right?” Nash said as he returned the greeting.

“Yeah, thanks,” Jarren replied.

“There a maple bacon sandwich in there as well. I didn’t know if you had breakfast or not.” Nash told him as he pulled out of the lot onto the nearly deserted street.

Nash could feel Jarren’s gaze on him. He was glad it was still dark, he could feel his skin turning red.

“Thanks, I hit snooze an extra time this morning and didn’t have time to grab anything. I was going to ask you to stop. What do I owe you?” Jarren said.

“Don’t worry about it. You can buy next time.” Nash said to him, assuming there would be a next time.

Traffic was light this early in the morning and they arrived at the job site early. Grabbing their coffees and the bag with the breakfast sandwiches they knocked on the trailer door before entering. Andre was at his desk working on the computer. He greeted both men and didn’t bat an eye when they walked in together.

Jarren didn’t have to explain the flat tire on his truck. Andre had seen it when he arrived. He told Jarren he would take care of having it towed to the garage down the street and have them patch it or let him know if it needed to be replaced.

Jarren and Nash sat at Mandy’s desk and ate their sandwiches and discussed the upcoming jobs for the day. Nash ‘fessed up to Andre about being rude to the client yesterday and apologized. Andre thanked him and told him not to worry, he would take care of it if she called to complain.

Mandy came in at seven-thirty and Nash made sure there were no crumbs on her desk for her to bitch about before they vacated her space. He wasn’t a fan of the girl, knowing she was one of the people who called him Sully behind his back. It was better just to ignore her and the others. He saw Jarren’s eyes narrow as he watched the girl put her purse away in the desk and sit down to boot up her computer without even a glance at them.

“Come on Jarren, we’ve got a busted garbage disposal and broken garage door waiting for us.” Nash poked the man’s arm to get his attention away from the snotty secretary.

They said goodbye to Andre and ignored Mandy. Jarren powered up the tablet that Andre had given them earlier in the week. It had a much better camera that either of their phones. The realty company had complained that they weren’t getting clear pictures from the guys in the field. Andre had purchased the tablets for all of his field teams, not just Nash and Jarren.

Nash let Jarren make the call to their first client to let them know they were on the way. It would take at least an hour to get there with the morning traffic rush. Jarren seemed quieter than normal and Nash hoped he hadn’t scared him off last night. When he had felt the heat from Jarren’s body so close to him as he walked to the door last night he had nearly froze. That was why he stopped so suddenly. When he turned and saw those full red lips so close to his, the urge to kiss them was almost too much. He couldn’t help himself when he leaned in intending to do just that. Instead when he heard Jarren’s breath hitch, he chickened out and just barely managed to tell the man he would see him in the morning. Catching a quick whiff of Jarren’s masculine scent didn’t help matters any either.

Nash had decided right then and there to back off. Jarren obviously had some issues and who was he to try and push those? He meant what he said to him last night about not prying into what was bothering either one of them He wasn’t ready to face his demons and he needed to let Jarren have the space he needed to face his.

They worked their way through three jobs that morning. When they stopped for lunch they kept the conversation neutral. The topic drifted toward sports and Nash was secretly pleased when Jarren teased him about Atlanta’s loss to New England in the Super Bowl two years prior.

“Do you have any Super Bowl party plans this year?” Nash asked Jarren. The game was coming up this weekend and was being played in Atlanta, and once again the Patriots were in it. Nash thought it was getting old. Brady needed to retire so the dynasty could die and another team could have the chance to rise to glory. Naturally he didn’t say it out loud. Jarren was Massachusetts born and bred and team loyalty was ingrained into their DNA at the moment of conception.

“No, I usually watch the game with my Dad and brothers. I’ll probably just stay home. The bars are going to be way too crowded with people who couldn’t score tickets. It’s Danny’s last night at home anyway. He’s going on the road for a couple of weeks with his job. Do you want to come over and watch the game?” Jarren asked.

Nash was momentarily speechless. He finally managed to utter “Sure, OK. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“No, I was just going to pick up some pizzas from the deli at the supermarket and cook those. They have a really good meat lover's and also a ham and spinach that Danny likes. I figure it’s easier than trying to order delivery. We did that one year and the game was nearly over before we got the pizza. You could bring some beer if you want. Danny goes for a dark craft brew. I’m more a Coors or Sam Adams type.” Jarren answered him.

“Sounds good to me.” Nash agreed.

They threw away their trash and Jarren called the next client on their list. The client was complaining of a nasty smell coming from somewhere in the house. When they got there Nash nearly gagged at the stench. The tenant met them outside and refused to go in.

Nash looked at Jarren and told him “Some days I hate this job. Let’s go and try to figure out what died and where.” Nash knew that there was a dead animal somewhere. They liked to find the most obscure hiding places to expire in. He was just glad it wasn’t summer and 100 degrees.

Jarren looked ready to hurl. They quickly narrowed the smell down to underneath a forty gallon fish tank. The tenant had told them their dog kept scratching at the bottom of the stand. Nash went out to the truck and found a reacher. He poked around under the stand and finally found the culprit. A mouse had crawled into the small open space and died in the back corner. The tenant had turned the heat on a couple of days ago and there was a heat register right next to the fish tank stand. Nash figured the heat from the duct underneath the stand exacerbated the decomposition.

The tenant’s lot abutted a small wooded area and Nash asked the woman if it was alright if he threw the gross remains back there. Nature would remedy the problem quickly. She nodded and Nash threw the odiferous tiny corpse as far back as he could with the reacher. He advised the lady to open all the windows and get some Febreeze or something to spray under the tank. The odor should disappear now that the mouse was gone. She thanked them and headed inside to open everything up. She’d be cold for a while, it was in the upper 50s, but at least she’d be able to breathe without throwing up.

Jarren looked at Nash and said “We need to stop somewhere. I have to wash my hands, and I feel like that stench is clinging to my nose hairs.

Nash pulled into a McDonald’s and they both scrubbed their hands several times even though neither of them had actually touched the creature. The smell of greasy fries and burgers helped to dispel the memory of the odiferous corpse. Jarren stopped at the counter and ordered two coffees hoping that the more pleasant scent would totally get rid of the decaying mouse stench. He handed Nash the black coffee and they went back to the truck. Nash completed the work order that he had neglected to do, wanting to get away from that house as fast as he could. Their next job was in a seedy part of Atlanta and he hoped it wouldn’t take long.

They pulled up in front of a small house that had seen better days. It was obvious that the tenants didn’t care about its appearance. The yard was unkempt, trash scattered about, broken toys and a bicycle that was bent and missing both tires just abandoned in the mess. Nash knocked on the door and it was opened by a guy who was obviously strung out. Nash asked if they had called about a broken shower. The guy stepped aside to let them in. The living room was a mess. There were holes in the walls, gouges in the floor. Two guys and a girl, none them dressed in anything more than underwear, were passed out on the filthy floor. Nash saw that Jarren’s gaze had landed on the dirty, used needles on the floor in front of them.

Fuck. This place was a hazard to their health and Nash knew he needed to get him and Jarren out of there and quick. The guy who had opened the door weaved his way down a short hall and flicked his hand toward a door on the left. Nash looked in and saw that the bathroom was trashed. The sink was covered in small burn marks, some from cigarettes, some from the spoons used to heat up crack. He saw that the showerhead had been ripped off of the wall. There were holes in the tile. No way in hell were they going to stay here and repair that. He snapped a couple of pictures and told the guy they needed to get approval from the management company and they didn’t have a spare showerhead with them.

Jarren looked relieved when Nash all but dragged him out of the house. Nash drove quite a distance away from the neighborhood before pulling over into a shopping center. He noticed Jarren was little pale.

“Hey, you OK? That place was more than a little rough. I’m glad we’re out of there.” Nash said.

“How can they live like that? Why do people allow drugs to control them so much? I don’t get it.” Jarren stated.

“I don’t either. I can’t explain why some people get pulled into that way of existing. I don’t think you can call it living, not when your life is controlled by drugs. I’ve seen it rip apart families. I’ve seen a smart kid with his whole life ahead of him go down that path. He went from promising college graduate to a struggling drug addict in a blink of an eye. He battled the addiction for several years before his parents intervened and managed to finally get him to agree to rehab. He was able to stop using, he went to work for the same company as his dad. His dad also got him into Formula V racing to give him something positive to focus on. He got a girlfriend and was doing really well for six or seven years. Until they found him dead in the bathroom one morning with a needle in his arm.” Nash told him. He noticed Jarren looking at him and he explained “It was my friend Ken’s older brother, Brian. He started experimenting in his junior year of college and it took over his life and then ended up taking his life. It’s too bad, he was a smart guy who made a really dumb decision. They’ll never know if he had gone back to using or if it was just a one time slip. He was only 33. His family was absolutely crushed.”

“I’m sorry that happened to your friend’s family. Drug use has become so prevalent nowadays, it’s scary, especially knowing that a lot of that shit is is laced with fentanyl. It’s no wonder opioid addiction is called a crisis.” Jarren commented.

Nash just gave him a grim smile and then called Andre and told him they would not go back to that house. He forwarded the pictures to him. Andre would take care of calling the management company to explain. That was the standard protocol in cases like this. Nash said that in all likelihood the company that owned the house would send someone out to do an inspection of the property. They would need documentation in order to start eviction procedures. Eventually the house would probably be torn down and the realty company would take the hit on the loss and write it off.

Thankfully the rest of the week was easier and by Friday, Nash was ready to enjoy the weekend. He didn’t have anything planned other than his normal Saturday morning activity and watching the Superbowl with Jarren on Sunday. He contemplated asking Jarren to come with him on Saturday, but decided against it. He felt it would bring up too many questions, none of which he was ready to answer.

He spent the rest of his weekend catching up on laundry and cleaning. Sunday morning he went grocery shopping and stocked up for the week. He picked up a six pack of Sam Adams and a six pack of a local dark stout for Jarren’s roommate.

He wasn’t sure what time to go over as Jarren didn’t say. He shot off a quick text and only a few minutes later he saw the reply ‘5:30-6ish will work’. Nash killed several hours that afternoon working on a puzzle his brother had sent him for Christmas. It was 5000 pieces and when it was done it would show a huge red-orange moon rising over some snow-capped mountains. He found it relaxing to just throw on some music and work on fitting the pieces together. He had all of the outside pieces done and about three-quarters of the mountains which comprised the top half of the puzzle. The afternoon passed quickly and soon enough Nash saw that it was time to go.

He reached Jarren’s place at quarter to six. He knocked on the door and couldn’t stop his heart from giving a quick jump when Jarren’s beautiful face appeared when he opened the door.

“Come on in,” he heard Jarren say.

Nash stepped inside and held up the two six packs. Jarren pointed to the kitchen and told him to put them in the fridge.

“I wish I remembered you asked what kind of beer to bring. I would’ve called and told you not to bother with the stout. Danny had to leave tonight. His flight for tomorrow was cancelled due to mechanical issues and they told him they could either put him on a plane tonight or he would have to wait until Thursday. He has to be in Tallahassee for a trade show on Tuesday and he didn’t want to drive. You just missed him” Jarren explained.

“That’s too bad. He seems like a fun guy from what you’ve told me,” Jarren replied. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being alone with Jarren for another evening. He was more at ease when he thought that Danny would be there to act as a buffer. Now he would have to be on his toes and not make a fool of himself. He was finding it harder and harder to ignore his attraction to Jarren. Jarren made it more difficult by just existing.

Jarren looked really sexy tonight. His jeans were a lot more form fitting than what he wore to work. They hugged his ass snugly and Nash could make out the outline of a decent size cock when Jarren stretched up to get some paper plates off the top of the fridge. He also got a glimpse of Jarren’s firm stomach when his t-shirt rode up a couple of inches. Nash held his breath at the quick flash of the treasure trail that was revealed. His cock definitely took notice. Nash turned to the sink, feeling the urge to wash his hands all of a sudden. He willed his cock to behave.

“Do you want to eat at the start of the game or wait until closer to half time?” He heard Jarren say.

Knowing that half time was at least two hours away Nash told him “I’d rather eat sooner. I’m kinda hungry now.”

Jarren’s smile nearly did him in as he grinned in agreement and turned the oven on to preheat. Jarren told Nash to have a seat in the living room. The pre-game show was on and Nash grabbed two beers and sat down on one end of the couch. Jarren took the second beer from him and sat on the other end of the couch with one leg folded under him. Nash realized he was barefoot and damn if the man didn’t have sexy feet. Nash wasn’t really a foot guy but Jarren’s feet were definitely sexy, maybe it was just the sight of his bare skin.

They listened to the commentators giving their thoughts and going over statistics before the game started. Jarren got up and put the two pizzas in the oven when the buzzer indicated it had reached the preset temperature. Just before kick off the timer went off and Jarren went to pull the pizzas from the oven. Nash followed him and cut the meat lover’s pie while Jarren sliced the ham and spinach pie. Both looked good and they both ended up with a piece of each on their plates. The game was just getting underway when they sat back down.

Nash would have loved to say that the game was riveting but by halftime they were both bored. It had to be the most unexciting game in the history of football. They had finished off the Sam Adams and started on the stout. It was a lot more bitter than Nash was used to but he found that it grew on him. Halfway through his second bottle he was feeling the effects of the alcohol enough to overlook the bite that the bitter hops left behind.

Sure enough when the game ended it was officially the most boring game in Superbowl history. It was also the lowest scoring. The Pat’s had pulled off another one 10-3, giving the GOAT his sixth ring.

Nash wasn’t shitfaced but he was nicely buzzed. He considered getting an Uber or Lyft and wondered how long it would take. He might be better off walking home.

They both stood up at the same time and Jarren stumbled over Nash’s sneaker that he had kicked off at some point. Nash caught Jarren and they both fell sideways onto the couch. Jarren’s long torso was pinned under Nash. His head spun as the alcohol seemed to intensify Jarren’s scent tenfold. Nash couldn’t help burying his nose in the crook of Jarren’s neck and inhaling deeply. He could feel the hard ridge of Jarren’s cock pressing against his thigh. Before he realized what he was doing, Nash lowered his head and captured those rich, luscious lips with his own. Nash groaned as his tongue was granted entrance into the hot wetness of Jarren’s mouth. His taste buds exploded as the flavor of beer and Jarren washed over them. His cock filled even more as Jarren moaned at the onslaught.

Jarren tasted him as well, his tongue flicking out to invade Nash’s mouth. Nash sucked Jarren’s lower lip and nipped gently. He damn near came as Jarren returned the favor. He felt Jarren’s hands slide under his shirt and caress the sensitive skin along his belly. His own hands made their way under Jarren’s shirt and skimmed along the hard ridges of muscle covering his back. They ground their cocks together desperately trying to get more friction through their jeans.

Just as Nash felt Jarren’s hands touch his belt the sound of a phone ringing interrupted them. “Let it go to voicemail,” Nash panted, as it was Jarren’s phone that was ringing. They ignored the sound and started to pick up where they left off.

The phone rang again. And again. The fourth time it started to ring Nash heard Jarren sigh. I’d better get this. It’s probably Mazen wanting to talk about the game. He won’t stop until I pick up.” Jarren said.

Nash took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He heard Jarren say “The game sucked. They won. It was boring. I gotta go Maz…...wait, what? When did it happen? Oh fuck.”

‘That didn’t sound good,’ Nash thought to himself.

Cliffhanger...I know, sorry, not sorry!
Any writing tips I've come across say to write what you know, which is kinda hard when you're an over 50 straight female writing gay romance. So I try to insert details from my life's experience to make the story relatable. Dead, stinky mouse under the fish tank... true.
I had trouble with editing this chapter. It was written over a month ago and the drug house scene was part of it. I felt I had to change Nash's story of his friend's brother. I ended up waffling back and forth, but in the end I based the drug addicted brother on my nephew who just died of an overdose.
I am so proud of my own brother and sister- in- law for acknowledging my nephew's struggle in his obituary. All too often when someone dies of an overdose they 'died suddenly'. My brother told me that if just one person saw what his son died of and thought twice about doing drugs then it was worth every word. I agree.
Godspeed Brian.
Copyright © 2019 kbois; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 49
  • Love 26
  • Haha 1
  • Wow 2
  • Sad 5
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

2 hours ago, mfa607 said:

Great chapter and I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you. 

Thank you! 

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment
9 minutes ago, FanLit said:

The “love” was for your end notes, (Tho this was a nice move along chapter).

May your nephew Rest In Peace.

Thanks.  Things are going to start picking up.  

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
Link to comment

I'm with Nash about Tom Brady. Born and raised in New England and I am so sick of him! Of course, I also hate football but still...

  • Like 3
  • Love 1
Link to comment
18 minutes ago, FanLit said:

Regarding the chapter content:

Will Jarren have second thoughts in the sober light of day over what he did with Nash?

Does Mandy have an attitude with Jarren?  (I know Jarren has an attitude with Mandy, which tickles me no end, defending his man before he’s his man) What’s her problem?

“....wait, what? When did it happen? Oh fuck.”

I can only hope someone isn’t hurt.

I'll shed a little light.... but not too much!

I don't think that Jarren will have second thoughts so much as he'll have trepidations. He still has to sort things out for himself.  

Mandy doesn't have an attitude. I think she's embarrassed that Jarren sort of called her out regarding her attitude toward Nash. She's young, hasn't developed proper social skills or filters. 

Jarren sort of marked his territory even if he hasn't realized it yet. 

The last part.... you'll just have to wait! 

  • Like 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment
22 minutes ago, kbois said:

  Jarren sort of marked his territory even if he hasn't realized it yet. 

He surely has, lol.  He’s all but peed on that man, LOL!!  (Who knows if that might not come later....)

Nash notices Jarren’s attitude toward Mandy and I think he knows it’s because of how she treats him, what’s his feeling about that?  

  • Like 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment
1 hour ago, empresslovesreading said:

I'm with Nash about Tom Brady. Born and raised in New England and I am so sick of him! Of course, I also hate football but still...

I was born and raised there too. I'm not the biggest sports fan, but you gotta give Brady props...he can play the game like no one else! 

  • Like 1
  • Love 2
Link to comment
34 minutes ago, FanLit said:

He surely has, lol.  He’s all but peed on that man, LOL!!  (Who knows if that might not come later....)

Nash notices Jarren’s attitude toward Mandy and I think he knows it’s because of how she treats him, what’s his feeling about that?  

That will NOT come later on! Ew!😂😂

I love it when you guys read between the lines and draw your own conclusions!  It's fun to see another take on the story.  

Nash is still figuring things out.  He should eventually catch on

  • Like 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment

Cell phones are so versatile these days:  Apparently, they can get you up as well as make you go down! 🤣

Funny that Nash and Jarren try to recover from the dead mouse by going to where they serve dead cow (with greasy fries, please!). 🤗  

"He was finding it harder and harder to ignore his attraction to Jarren. Jarren made it more difficult by just existing." Shame on you, Jarren! 👼

Cupid, I saw you trip Jarren into Nash! Smooth move, and nice sneakers. (Sometimes love needs a little push....) 😊

"My brother told me that if just one person saw what his son died of and thought twice about doing drugs then it was worth every word. I agree."  And so do I. Kudos to your brother and sister-in-law for their bravery in telling Brian's story, and again, my deepest sympathy on your nephew's passing.

  • Like 3
  • Love 2
Link to comment
2 hours ago, travlbug said:

Cell phones are so versatile these days:  Apparently, they can get you up as well as make you go down! 🤣

Funny that Nash and Jarren try to recover from the dead mouse by going to where they serve dead cow (with greasy fries, please!). 🤗  

"He was finding it harder and harder to ignore his attraction to Jarren. Jarren made it more difficult by just existing." Shame on you, Jarren! 👼

Cupid, I saw you trip Jarren into Nash! Smooth move, and nice sneakers. (Sometimes love needs a little push....) 😊

"My brother told me that if just one person saw what his son died of and thought twice about doing drugs then it was worth every word. I agree."  And so do I. Kudos to your brother and sister-in-law for their bravery in telling Brian's story, and again, my deepest sympathy on your nephew's passing.

Versatility can be a a good thing!  Cell phones...not so much.  I'm much too dependent on mine.  

Dead cow marinated and slapped on a grill is a very good thing.  Dead cow from Mickey D's... not so much. 😁. Dead mouse under the fish tank.... not something I ever want to happen again.  

Jarren has no shame.  He's just completely clueless. 

Give Cupid a high five.. he won't give up! 

Thank you for your condolences.  Brian was a good kid.  

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

I would have loved to have seen the interaction between Danny, Nash, and Jarren played out in front of the match, but sadly it wasn't to be. I think you missed out on a more complex storyline if this turns out to be simply Jarren meets Nash and together Jarren overcomes his hangups, reconciles with his family (maybe Nash with his) and they ride off into the sunset.

Sometimes I think we can overdo the description, as in "Jarren got up and put the two pizzas in the oven when the buzzer indicated it had reached the preset temperature." I think everybody knows the oven buzzes when it's up to the temperature, so why not - the buzzer sounded, Jarren got up and put the pizzas to cook. It's not really a criticism, just made me smile.

The dreaded drugs, difficult subject, I think you handled it well.

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
4 hours ago, Talo Segura said:

I would have loved to have seen the interaction between Danny, Nash, and Jarren played out in front of the match, but sadly it wasn't to be. I think you missed out on a more complex storyline if this turns out to be simply Jarren meets Nash and together Jarren overcomes his hangups, reconciles with his family (maybe Nash with his) and they ride off into the sunset.

Sometimes I think we can overdo the description, as in "Jarren got up and put the two pizzas in the oven when the buzzer indicated it had reached the preset temperature." I think everybody knows the oven buzzes when it's up to the temperature, so why not - the buzzer sounded, Jarren got up and put the pizzas to cook. It's not really a criticism, just made me smile.

The dreaded drugs, difficult subject, I think you handled it well.

 

I've always been the first one to admit that I can get a little too descriptive. I've had to stop myself from rambling on more than once (or 2, or , 3 times 😂). My backspace button is probably the most used key on my keyboard!

The story will definitely get a bit more complex. There's more to it than meets the eye. Jarren won't be the only one that has hurdles to get over. I kinda surprised myself with the direction this story ended up taking. 

The dreaded drugs are a harsh reality that I hated  having to address. 

Thanks for commenting! 

  • Like 4
  • Love 1
Link to comment
2 hours ago, astone2292 said:

Yaaaaas! Tonsil hockey!!!

Booooo! Cliffhangers!!!!

Also. Nash!! Get some, you sexy handyman!

It's supposed to be "Yay! CLIFFHANGER!!!!"

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..